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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,666 --> 00:00:03,800 You can't just have an adultery, you commit adultery. 2 00:00:04,088 --> 00:00:05,788 And you can't even commit adultery 3 00:00:05,821 --> 00:00:08,288 unless you already have a commitment, 4 00:00:08,321 --> 00:00:09,788 so you have to make the commitment 5 00:00:09,821 --> 00:00:12,255 before you can even think about committing it. 6 00:00:12,288 --> 00:00:13,621 There's no commit without the commit. 7 00:00:13,655 --> 00:00:15,421 Then, once you commit, 8 00:00:15,455 --> 00:00:17,388 then you can commit the adultery. 9 00:00:17,421 --> 00:00:18,955 Then you can get caught, get divorced, 10 00:00:18,988 --> 00:00:21,421 lose your mind, and they have you committed. 11 00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:24,955 But, you know, some people actually cheat on the people 12 00:00:24,988 --> 00:00:26,888 that they're cheating with, 13 00:00:26,921 --> 00:00:29,055 which is, like, you know, being in a holdup, 14 00:00:29,088 --> 00:00:30,000 and then turning to the robber next to you 15 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,821 and then turning to the robber next to you 16 00:00:30,855 --> 00:00:33,255 and going, "All right, give me everything you have too." 17 00:00:39,488 --> 00:00:40,888 You met her at the supermarket? 18 00:00:40,921 --> 00:00:42,621 How'd you do that? Produce section. 19 00:00:42,655 --> 00:00:44,321 Very provocative area. 20 00:00:44,355 --> 00:00:45,755 A lot of melons and shapes. 21 00:00:45,788 --> 00:00:47,388 Everyone squeezing and smelling. 22 00:00:47,421 --> 00:00:48,455 It just happened. 23 00:00:48,488 --> 00:00:50,221 So when are you going to see her? 24 00:00:50,255 --> 00:00:51,221 Tonight. 25 00:00:51,255 --> 00:00:52,221 What's her name? 26 00:00:52,255 --> 00:00:54,821 I don't know. 27 00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,221 How could you not know her name? 28 00:00:56,255 --> 00:00:58,055 I was a little nervous. I got distracted. 29 00:00:58,088 --> 00:01:01,188 It had something to do with a car or a fish. 30 00:01:02,255 --> 00:01:03,788 Look at-- 31 00:01:03,821 --> 00:01:05,202 Why do I get bananas? They're good for one day. 32 00:01:05,202 --> 00:01:07,755 Why do I get bananas? They're good for one day. 33 00:01:07,788 --> 00:01:09,388 Oh, my God. I forgot to tell you. 34 00:01:09,421 --> 00:01:10,388 I got a letter today 35 00:01:10,421 --> 00:01:11,721 from the State Controller's Office. 36 00:01:11,755 --> 00:01:13,721 When I was going to public school, back in Brooklyn, 37 00:01:13,755 --> 00:01:15,321 every week, I used to put 50 cents 38 00:01:15,355 --> 00:01:16,321 in the Lincoln Savings Bank. 39 00:01:16,355 --> 00:01:17,321 Yeah, I did that, too. 40 00:01:17,355 --> 00:01:18,555 Yeah. Remember the little bank book? 41 00:01:18,588 --> 00:01:19,755 Sure. All right. 42 00:01:19,788 --> 00:01:21,755 So I haven't put anything in it since sixth grade. 43 00:01:21,788 --> 00:01:23,055 I completely forgot about it. 44 00:01:23,088 --> 00:01:24,888 The State Controller's Office tracks me down. 45 00:01:24,921 --> 00:01:27,955 The interest has accumulated to $1900. 46 00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:30,055 $1900! They're sending me a check. 47 00:01:30,088 --> 00:01:31,221 Wow. 48 00:01:31,255 --> 00:01:34,088 Yeah, interest, it's an amazing thing. 49 00:01:34,121 --> 00:01:35,202 You make money without doing anything. 50 00:01:35,202 --> 00:01:36,121 You make money without doing anything. 51 00:01:36,155 --> 00:01:38,721 I have friends that try and base their life on that principle. 52 00:01:38,755 --> 00:01:40,621 Really? Who? 53 00:01:40,655 --> 00:01:43,055 Nobody you know. 54 00:01:43,088 --> 00:01:45,888 Maybe I'll go down to the track, put it all on a horse. 55 00:01:45,921 --> 00:01:47,755 Why don't you put it in the bank? 56 00:01:47,788 --> 00:01:50,621 Bank? This is found money. 57 00:01:50,655 --> 00:01:53,055 I want to parlay it. I want to make a big score. 58 00:01:53,088 --> 00:01:55,455 Oh, you mean you want to lose it. 59 00:01:56,855 --> 00:01:58,555 Yeah. 60 00:01:58,588 --> 00:01:59,488 All right. 61 00:02:02,455 --> 00:02:03,455 You got it, huh? 62 00:02:03,488 --> 00:02:04,821 Yes, I did. Yes! 63 00:02:04,855 --> 00:02:05,202 What's with the gloves? 64 00:02:05,202 --> 00:02:06,155 What's with the gloves? 65 00:02:06,188 --> 00:02:07,455 Well, I'm staining my floors. 66 00:02:07,488 --> 00:02:09,455 You know, I don't want to get my hands dirty. 67 00:02:09,488 --> 00:02:10,888 What, the whole apartment? 68 00:02:10,921 --> 00:02:12,288 The whole apartment. 69 00:02:12,321 --> 00:02:14,388 And I'm buying that fake-wood wallpaper. 70 00:02:14,421 --> 00:02:17,755 I'm going to surround myself in wood. 71 00:02:17,788 --> 00:02:20,755 It's gonna be like a log cabin, 72 00:02:20,788 --> 00:02:22,488 'cause I need wood around me. 73 00:02:22,521 --> 00:02:24,088 Wood, Jerry. 74 00:02:24,121 --> 00:02:25,088 [SNAPS FINGERS] 75 00:02:25,121 --> 00:02:26,588 Wood. 76 00:02:26,621 --> 00:02:27,755 Wood is good. 77 00:02:27,788 --> 00:02:29,221 Definitely. 78 00:02:29,255 --> 00:02:30,588 We're still going to play racquetball, right? 79 00:02:30,621 --> 00:02:31,655 Yeah, whenever you're ready. 80 00:02:31,688 --> 00:02:33,055 Okay, as soon as Elaine gets here. 81 00:02:33,088 --> 00:02:35,121 Yep. 82 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:35,202 What, you rented Home Alone? 83 00:02:35,202 --> 00:02:36,121 What, you rented Home Alone? 84 00:02:36,155 --> 00:02:37,388 Yeah. 85 00:02:37,421 --> 00:02:38,555 I thought you saw that already. 86 00:02:38,588 --> 00:02:39,821 No, I saw Home Alone 2. 87 00:02:39,855 --> 00:02:41,488 Oh, right. 88 00:02:41,521 --> 00:02:42,755 But you hated it. 89 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:44,688 I was lost. I never saw the first one. 90 00:02:46,788 --> 00:02:48,255 You mind if I watch it here? 91 00:02:48,288 --> 00:02:49,388 What for? 92 00:02:49,421 --> 00:02:50,955 Because if I watch it at my apartment, 93 00:02:50,988 --> 00:02:52,555 I feel like I'm not doing anything. 94 00:02:52,588 --> 00:02:55,255 I watch it here, I'm out of the house, I'm doing something. 95 00:02:55,288 --> 00:02:57,221 All right, go ahead. 96 00:02:57,255 --> 00:02:59,088 [INTERCOM BUZZES] 97 00:02:59,121 --> 00:03:00,255 Yeah? 98 00:03:00,288 --> 00:03:01,921 ELAINE: It's me. Are you ready to go? 99 00:03:01,955 --> 00:03:04,055 No. Come on up. 100 00:03:04,088 --> 00:03:05,202 I can't work with these. 101 00:03:05,202 --> 00:03:05,588 I can't work with these. 102 00:03:05,621 --> 00:03:06,988 What's wrong? 103 00:03:07,021 --> 00:03:09,988 What? You bought me dishwashing gloves. 104 00:03:10,021 --> 00:03:11,321 There's no fine touch. 105 00:03:11,355 --> 00:03:12,388 You said gloves. 106 00:03:12,421 --> 00:03:14,988 No, no. These are too thick. 107 00:03:15,021 --> 00:03:17,388 Oh. Is that Home Alone? 108 00:03:17,421 --> 00:03:18,488 Yeah. The original. 109 00:03:18,521 --> 00:03:19,621 Hey, boys-o. 110 00:03:19,655 --> 00:03:22,321 Hey! Hey! 111 00:03:22,355 --> 00:03:24,555 Hello. 112 00:03:24,588 --> 00:03:25,955 Hey, get your stuff. Let's get going. 113 00:03:25,988 --> 00:03:26,988 Well, wait a minute. 114 00:03:27,021 --> 00:03:28,221 There's a slight change of plans. 115 00:03:28,255 --> 00:03:29,721 Huh? What? 116 00:03:29,755 --> 00:03:31,555 Remember Roy, the artist? 117 00:03:31,588 --> 00:03:32,888 Oh, the triangle guy. 118 00:03:32,921 --> 00:03:34,388 Yeah, exactly. The triangle guy. 119 00:03:34,421 --> 00:03:35,202 Yeah, you liked him. What happened with him? 120 00:03:35,202 --> 00:03:35,988 Yeah, you liked him. What happened with him? 121 00:03:36,021 --> 00:03:38,388 Yeah, I did. He was very talented. 122 00:03:38,421 --> 00:03:40,555 He was, uh, just, I don't know, 123 00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:42,055 a little too... 124 00:03:42,088 --> 00:03:43,055 Artsy? 125 00:03:43,088 --> 00:03:44,988 Fat. Oh. 126 00:03:45,021 --> 00:03:47,155 He was a fat, starving artist, you know? 127 00:03:47,188 --> 00:03:48,155 That's very rare. 128 00:03:48,188 --> 00:03:49,455 Yeah. Yeah. 129 00:03:49,488 --> 00:03:51,155 Anyway, he's in the hospital, having surgery, 130 00:03:51,188 --> 00:03:52,755 and I feel like I should visit him. 131 00:03:52,788 --> 00:03:53,788 What's wrong with him? 132 00:03:53,821 --> 00:03:54,921 Eh, something with his spleen. 133 00:03:54,955 --> 00:03:56,655 Anyway, it'll just take five minutes, okay? 134 00:03:56,688 --> 00:03:58,255 And then the hospital's right on the way. 135 00:03:58,288 --> 00:03:59,721 All right, we'll wait for you. 136 00:03:59,755 --> 00:04:02,521 Yeah, maybe I can get some rubber gloves there. Huh? Yeah. 137 00:04:04,155 --> 00:04:05,202 Listen, Jerry, could you do me a favor? 138 00:04:05,202 --> 00:04:05,921 Listen, Jerry, could you do me a favor? 139 00:04:05,955 --> 00:04:08,555 Could you go into the room with me to visit him? 140 00:04:08,588 --> 00:04:09,921 Because I don't want him to think 141 00:04:09,955 --> 00:04:12,055 that I'm, you know, interested. 142 00:04:12,088 --> 00:04:14,288 Oh, you want me to pretend to be your boyfriend? 143 00:04:14,321 --> 00:04:15,655 Well... 144 00:04:15,688 --> 00:04:17,055 Well, I think I can do that. 145 00:04:17,088 --> 00:04:18,555 I believe I've played that role before 146 00:04:18,588 --> 00:04:20,388 to some critical acclaim. 147 00:04:20,421 --> 00:04:21,488 All right, let's go. 148 00:04:21,521 --> 00:04:22,488 All right. Yep, yep, yep. 149 00:04:22,521 --> 00:04:23,921 What's with him? 150 00:04:23,955 --> 00:04:26,588 You know, a lot of people have asked that. 151 00:04:32,821 --> 00:04:33,755 Roy! 152 00:04:35,588 --> 00:04:37,488 Elaine! 153 00:04:37,521 --> 00:04:39,888 What a surprise. 154 00:04:39,921 --> 00:04:42,655 Oh, my God! 155 00:04:42,688 --> 00:04:44,221 I hardly recognize you. 156 00:04:44,255 --> 00:04:45,321 You look so... 157 00:04:45,355 --> 00:04:47,121 Yeah, yeah, I've lost some weight. 158 00:04:47,155 --> 00:04:50,288 A lot of weight. 159 00:04:50,321 --> 00:04:51,788 I know. 160 00:04:51,821 --> 00:04:53,621 You look terrific. 161 00:04:53,655 --> 00:04:54,888 Thank you. 162 00:04:54,921 --> 00:04:55,888 So do you. 163 00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:59,288 [GIGGLES] 164 00:04:59,321 --> 00:05:00,288 Uh... 165 00:05:00,321 --> 00:05:02,221 this is, uh... 166 00:05:02,255 --> 00:05:04,788 You really lost weight! 167 00:05:04,821 --> 00:05:05,202 Thank you. 168 00:05:05,202 --> 00:05:05,788 Thank you. 169 00:05:05,821 --> 00:05:08,755 Jerry. Uh, I'm the boyfriend. 170 00:05:13,421 --> 00:05:16,921 NURSE [OVER PA]: Dr. Whittenberg, outside call. 171 00:05:16,955 --> 00:05:19,588 Dr. Whittenberg, outside call. 172 00:05:19,621 --> 00:05:20,921 [WOMAN SCREAMS] 173 00:05:23,421 --> 00:05:24,621 Ah... 174 00:05:27,421 --> 00:05:29,655 Ah, the mother lode. 175 00:05:31,421 --> 00:05:34,321 [SILLY, SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING] 176 00:05:36,355 --> 00:05:37,621 I can't believe it. 177 00:05:37,655 --> 00:05:41,955 You were huge, like blubber. 178 00:05:41,988 --> 00:05:43,621 I couldn't even get my arms around you. 179 00:05:43,655 --> 00:05:46,121 Yes. I remember. 180 00:05:46,155 --> 00:05:48,888 Well, that's a positive thing about getting sick. 181 00:05:48,921 --> 00:05:50,155 You get to lose weight. 182 00:05:50,188 --> 00:05:53,055 Elaine, it wasn't the illness. 183 00:05:53,088 --> 00:05:54,221 It was you. 184 00:05:54,255 --> 00:05:56,255 Me? 185 00:05:56,288 --> 00:05:59,921 After you stopped seeing me, I was devastated. 186 00:05:59,955 --> 00:06:01,388 I couldn't eat for weeks. 187 00:06:01,421 --> 00:06:02,621 Get out! 188 00:06:04,355 --> 00:06:05,202 [GASPS] 189 00:06:05,202 --> 00:06:05,421 [GASPS] 190 00:06:07,321 --> 00:06:09,055 Really. It's the truth. 191 00:06:09,088 --> 00:06:10,588 Jerry, did you hear this? 192 00:06:10,621 --> 00:06:13,221 He couldn't eat for weeks. 193 00:06:13,255 --> 00:06:14,655 [FLATLY] That's terrible. 194 00:06:17,188 --> 00:06:18,321 I had no idea 195 00:06:18,355 --> 00:06:20,121 I had that kind of effect on you. 196 00:06:20,155 --> 00:06:21,321 You did. 197 00:06:24,188 --> 00:06:27,221 You know, I can't get this damn thing to sleep! 198 00:06:27,255 --> 00:06:29,221 Now, listen, Roy, tell me something. 199 00:06:29,255 --> 00:06:31,221 When are you getting out of here? 200 00:06:31,255 --> 00:06:32,888 Next Thursday. 201 00:06:32,921 --> 00:06:33,888 Okay, I tell you what. 202 00:06:33,921 --> 00:06:35,202 How about on Friday 203 00:06:35,202 --> 00:06:35,488 How about on Friday 204 00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:37,455 I take you out for a big meal 205 00:06:37,488 --> 00:06:40,655 because you are getting too thin. 206 00:06:40,688 --> 00:06:41,788 Honey... 207 00:06:46,588 --> 00:06:50,721 Aren't we going to the Poconos next Friday? 208 00:06:50,755 --> 00:06:53,221 No, that's the week after. 209 00:06:53,255 --> 00:06:55,555 No, I believe it's next week. 210 00:06:55,588 --> 00:06:56,655 You're wrong. 211 00:06:56,688 --> 00:06:58,288 No, I'm not. 212 00:06:59,421 --> 00:07:00,655 Shut up. 213 00:07:03,121 --> 00:07:04,188 Pay dirt. 214 00:07:07,988 --> 00:07:10,955 Uh, Roy, this is Kramer. He's one of our friends. 215 00:07:10,988 --> 00:07:12,088 How do you do? 216 00:07:12,121 --> 00:07:13,788 I do great. 217 00:07:15,121 --> 00:07:16,088 Hi, Roy. 218 00:07:16,121 --> 00:07:17,088 Oh, hey, Dr. Siegel. 219 00:07:17,121 --> 00:07:20,421 Hey, doc, check this out. 220 00:07:20,455 --> 00:07:21,421 Hey. 221 00:07:21,455 --> 00:07:22,688 I just learned that. 222 00:07:24,355 --> 00:07:25,321 [CHUCKLES] 223 00:07:25,355 --> 00:07:27,388 I just wanted to stop by, 224 00:07:27,421 --> 00:07:28,921 see if you had any questions 225 00:07:28,955 --> 00:07:30,288 about tomorrow's operation. 226 00:07:30,321 --> 00:07:31,721 Uh, yeah, yeah. I have-- 227 00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:33,255 I have a question. 228 00:07:33,288 --> 00:07:34,455 Um, what do you know about 229 00:07:34,488 --> 00:07:35,202 interabdominal retractors? 230 00:07:35,202 --> 00:07:36,421 interabdominal retractors? 231 00:07:36,455 --> 00:07:37,555 Are you asking 232 00:07:37,588 --> 00:07:39,755 because you saw 20/20 last night? 233 00:07:39,788 --> 00:07:41,921 I sure am. 234 00:07:41,955 --> 00:07:43,221 Well, that report 235 00:07:43,255 --> 00:07:46,221 was about one very specific type of retractor, 236 00:07:46,255 --> 00:07:47,921 and I can assure you 237 00:07:47,955 --> 00:07:49,555 we do not use that retractor 238 00:07:49,588 --> 00:07:51,321 in your friend's procedure. 239 00:07:51,355 --> 00:07:54,388 But you will use a retractor. 240 00:07:54,421 --> 00:07:56,055 We have to. 241 00:07:56,088 --> 00:07:57,121 Mm-hmm. 242 00:08:03,688 --> 00:08:04,921 I'll tell you what. 243 00:08:04,955 --> 00:08:05,202 You're obviously 244 00:08:05,202 --> 00:08:05,955 You're obviously 245 00:08:05,988 --> 00:08:07,821 concerned about your friend's welfare. 246 00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,055 A few of my students 247 00:08:09,088 --> 00:08:10,821 will be observing tomorrow's operation 248 00:08:10,855 --> 00:08:12,255 from the viewing gallery. 249 00:08:12,288 --> 00:08:14,221 How would you like to watch it with them? 250 00:08:14,255 --> 00:08:16,721 I'd love to watch the operation, yeah. 251 00:08:16,755 --> 00:08:18,288 I don't know. Oh, come on, Jerry, 252 00:08:18,321 --> 00:08:19,488 you gotta see the operation. 253 00:08:19,521 --> 00:08:21,121 They're gonna cut him open. 254 00:08:21,155 --> 00:08:22,921 His guts will be all over the place. 255 00:08:22,955 --> 00:08:24,488 Yeah, that's true. 256 00:08:24,521 --> 00:08:25,588 They'll saw through bone. 257 00:08:25,621 --> 00:08:26,788 Phrrrrrrrr... 258 00:08:26,821 --> 00:08:29,388 Ree-ree-ree-ree-ree-ree! 259 00:08:29,421 --> 00:08:31,788 We'll see what's inside bone. 260 00:08:34,255 --> 00:08:35,202 [MELANCHOLY DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV] 261 00:08:35,202 --> 00:08:37,155 [MELANCHOLY DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV] 262 00:08:37,188 --> 00:08:38,288 [SNIFFLES] 263 00:08:38,321 --> 00:08:39,355 [SOBS] 264 00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:42,388 Hey. 265 00:08:42,421 --> 00:08:43,521 [TEARFULLY] Hi. 266 00:08:45,321 --> 00:08:46,821 What're you doing? You're crying? 267 00:08:46,855 --> 00:08:49,388 No. 268 00:08:49,421 --> 00:08:51,521 You're crying from Home Alone? 269 00:08:53,488 --> 00:08:54,821 The old man got to me. 270 00:08:54,855 --> 00:08:55,955 Oh, right. 271 00:08:55,988 --> 00:08:57,321 Just get yourself together. 272 00:08:57,355 --> 00:08:59,555 I don't know if I can be friends with you anymore 273 00:08:59,588 --> 00:09:00,588 after this display. 274 00:09:00,621 --> 00:09:02,488 Oh, shut up! 275 00:09:04,955 --> 00:09:05,202 What're you doing back so soon, anyway? 276 00:09:05,202 --> 00:09:07,721 What're you doing back so soon, anyway? 277 00:09:07,755 --> 00:09:09,121 I never even got to the gym. 278 00:09:09,155 --> 00:09:10,721 Kramer got the gloves, wanted to come home 279 00:09:10,755 --> 00:09:12,088 and start working on his floor. 280 00:09:12,121 --> 00:09:13,221 Oh. 281 00:09:13,255 --> 00:09:14,321 How's the guy? 282 00:09:14,355 --> 00:09:15,555 Oh, he's okay. 283 00:09:15,588 --> 00:09:17,388 In fact, him and Elaine are getting pretty chummy. 284 00:09:17,421 --> 00:09:19,388 Now Elaine wants me to buy some of his art. 285 00:09:19,421 --> 00:09:20,555 Hmm, that's nerve. 286 00:09:20,588 --> 00:09:21,821 Yeah. 287 00:09:21,855 --> 00:09:25,621 So she and triangle boy can go out to fancy restaurants. 288 00:09:25,655 --> 00:09:27,221 You know what it is? 289 00:09:27,255 --> 00:09:29,655 It's Clara Nightingale Syndrome. 290 00:09:29,688 --> 00:09:31,055 He falls ill, she falls in love. 291 00:09:31,088 --> 00:09:32,488 You mean Florence Nightingale. 292 00:09:32,521 --> 00:09:33,788 What did I say, Clara? 293 00:09:33,821 --> 00:09:35,202 Yeah, you must have meant Clara Barton. 294 00:09:35,202 --> 00:09:35,888 Yeah, you must have meant Clara Barton. 295 00:09:35,921 --> 00:09:38,621 Clara Barton? 296 00:09:38,655 --> 00:09:39,955 What did she do? 297 00:09:39,988 --> 00:09:44,188 I'm not sure, but I think she was nice. 298 00:09:45,521 --> 00:09:47,821 Susan B. Anthony I'd think have a problem with. 299 00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:50,988 Yeah, I think you would. 300 00:09:51,021 --> 00:09:52,555 So you're gonna buy his art? 301 00:09:52,588 --> 00:09:54,821 No. Why don't you buy it? You got $1900. 302 00:09:54,855 --> 00:09:57,421 Yeah. That's what I want, triangles. 303 00:09:57,455 --> 00:09:58,821 All right, I'm outta here. 304 00:09:58,855 --> 00:09:59,988 Have fun with what's-her-name. 305 00:10:00,021 --> 00:10:01,488 I will. 306 00:10:01,521 --> 00:10:03,288 You know, now you got to ask her name. 307 00:10:03,321 --> 00:10:04,455 It's so embarrassing. 308 00:10:04,488 --> 00:10:05,202 No, it isn't. I can find out. 309 00:10:05,202 --> 00:10:06,555 No, it isn't. I can find out. 310 00:10:06,588 --> 00:10:07,555 Yeah? How? 311 00:10:07,588 --> 00:10:09,088 There are ways. 312 00:10:10,521 --> 00:10:11,821 JERRY: You know, I remember 313 00:10:11,855 --> 00:10:13,221 when I was a kid growing up, 314 00:10:13,255 --> 00:10:14,621 kids would make fun of my name 315 00:10:14,655 --> 00:10:16,055 like you wouldn't believe. 316 00:10:16,088 --> 00:10:19,488 "Jerry, Jerry, Dingleberry," and... 317 00:10:19,521 --> 00:10:20,721 "Seinsmelled." 318 00:10:20,755 --> 00:10:22,288 Seinsmelled? 319 00:10:22,321 --> 00:10:23,621 Yeah. 320 00:10:23,655 --> 00:10:24,621 What about you? 321 00:10:24,655 --> 00:10:26,121 Did people make fun of your name? 322 00:10:26,155 --> 00:10:27,221 Are you kidding? 323 00:10:27,255 --> 00:10:29,055 They were merciless. 324 00:10:29,088 --> 00:10:30,888 What do you expect when your name rhymes 325 00:10:30,921 --> 00:10:32,655 with a part of the female anatomy? 326 00:10:40,588 --> 00:10:43,655 Of course, not everybody can be as sweet as you are. 327 00:10:46,921 --> 00:10:49,055 Oh, Jerry. 328 00:10:49,088 --> 00:10:52,521 Oh...you. 329 00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:57,155 Now, let's try "breast." 330 00:11:01,621 --> 00:11:02,988 Celeste. 331 00:11:03,021 --> 00:11:03,988 Kest. 332 00:11:04,021 --> 00:11:05,202 No. 333 00:11:05,202 --> 00:11:05,555 No. 334 00:11:05,588 --> 00:11:07,321 Rest, Sest. 335 00:11:07,355 --> 00:11:08,321 Hest? 336 00:11:08,355 --> 00:11:10,055 Hest? 337 00:11:10,088 --> 00:11:11,455 That's not a name. 338 00:11:11,488 --> 00:11:13,555 Well, you should've just asked her. 339 00:11:13,588 --> 00:11:14,921 I know I should've asked her. 340 00:11:14,955 --> 00:11:16,321 Well, what're you gonna do now? 341 00:11:16,355 --> 00:11:17,321 I don't know. 342 00:11:17,355 --> 00:11:18,321 I can't ask her now. 343 00:11:18,355 --> 00:11:20,388 I've already made out with her. 344 00:11:20,421 --> 00:11:22,788 Once you make out with a woman, you can't her her name. 345 00:11:22,821 --> 00:11:24,921 Aretha. 346 00:11:28,255 --> 00:11:29,288 No. 347 00:11:29,321 --> 00:11:30,821 Bovary. 348 00:11:30,855 --> 00:11:33,788 All right. That's enough. 349 00:11:33,821 --> 00:11:35,202 All right, well, you know what you gotta do? 350 00:11:35,202 --> 00:11:35,588 All right, well, you know what you gotta do? 351 00:11:35,621 --> 00:11:36,988 You gotta go through her purse. 352 00:11:37,021 --> 00:11:38,388 You know, credit cards, driver's license. 353 00:11:38,421 --> 00:11:39,755 Well, how am I gonna do that? 354 00:11:39,788 --> 00:11:42,221 When she goes to the bathroom. 355 00:11:42,255 --> 00:11:43,888 Ah. There you are. 356 00:11:43,921 --> 00:11:44,888 Hey. 357 00:11:44,921 --> 00:11:46,555 My date stood me up. 358 00:11:46,588 --> 00:11:50,221 Listen, will you guys go to the operation with me? 359 00:11:50,255 --> 00:11:53,455 You asked a date to go to the operation? 360 00:11:53,488 --> 00:11:54,755 Well, yeah. 361 00:11:54,788 --> 00:11:56,555 So come on. What do you say? Huh? 362 00:11:56,588 --> 00:11:57,755 What kind of operation is it? 363 00:11:57,788 --> 00:11:58,888 Splenectomy. 364 00:11:58,921 --> 00:12:01,055 Isn't that where they remove the--? 365 00:12:01,088 --> 00:12:02,755 No, no, don't ruin it for me. 366 00:12:02,788 --> 00:12:04,721 I haven't seen it yet. 367 00:12:04,755 --> 00:12:05,202 Now, come on. What do you say? 368 00:12:05,202 --> 00:12:06,121 Now, come on. What do you say? 369 00:12:06,155 --> 00:12:08,288 Mulva. 370 00:12:10,788 --> 00:12:11,788 Mulva? 371 00:12:11,821 --> 00:12:14,955 KRAMER: Come on, come on. You want to go? 372 00:12:14,988 --> 00:12:16,821 All right, all right. 373 00:12:16,855 --> 00:12:18,955 Just let me finish my coffee. 374 00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:21,788 Then we'll watch them go slice this fat bastard up. 375 00:12:25,255 --> 00:12:27,721 Now we'll open the peritoneal cavity, 376 00:12:27,755 --> 00:12:31,455 exposing the body's internal organs. 377 00:12:31,488 --> 00:12:33,655 Nurse, retractor. 378 00:12:43,255 --> 00:12:44,555 What're you eating? 379 00:12:44,588 --> 00:12:46,621 Junior Mints. 380 00:12:46,655 --> 00:12:48,788 You want one? No. 381 00:12:48,821 --> 00:12:51,655 Now I can't see. 382 00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:52,621 Psst! 383 00:12:54,155 --> 00:12:55,721 Psst! 384 00:12:55,755 --> 00:12:57,455 Could you get...? 385 00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:10,455 Where'd you get those? 386 00:13:10,488 --> 00:13:11,888 The machine. You want one? 387 00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:12,988 No. Here. 388 00:13:13,021 --> 00:13:14,288 Take one. I don't want one. 389 00:13:14,321 --> 00:13:15,321 No, they're good. Take one. 390 00:13:15,355 --> 00:13:16,788 I don't want any. Just take one. 391 00:13:16,821 --> 00:13:17,788 No, Kramer, stop it. 392 00:13:17,821 --> 00:13:18,955 [HEART BEATING] 393 00:13:22,288 --> 00:13:23,255 [SPLAT] 394 00:13:25,188 --> 00:13:26,588 Oh, my. 395 00:13:33,988 --> 00:13:34,955 Geh-- 396 00:13:42,386 --> 00:13:43,653 ...over the balcony, 397 00:13:43,686 --> 00:13:45,353 bounced off some respirator thing, 398 00:13:45,386 --> 00:13:46,553 into the patient! 399 00:13:49,186 --> 00:13:51,319 What do you mean, into the patient? 400 00:13:51,353 --> 00:13:53,653 Into the patient, literally! 401 00:13:53,686 --> 00:13:54,919 Into the hole? 402 00:13:54,953 --> 00:13:57,019 Yes! 403 00:13:57,053 --> 00:13:58,586 The hole! 404 00:13:58,619 --> 00:14:00,453 Didn't they notice it? No. 405 00:14:00,486 --> 00:14:01,786 How could they not notice it? 406 00:14:01,819 --> 00:14:04,419 Because it's a little mint. 407 00:14:04,453 --> 00:14:06,619 It's a Junior Mint. 408 00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:11,853 Well, what did they do? 409 00:14:11,886 --> 00:14:14,419 They sealed him up with the mint inside. 410 00:14:14,453 --> 00:14:16,786 They left the Junior Mint in him? 411 00:14:16,819 --> 00:14:18,119 Yes! 412 00:14:19,453 --> 00:14:22,119 Well, I-- I guess it can't hurt him. 413 00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:24,019 People eat pounds of those things. 414 00:14:24,053 --> 00:14:25,919 Yes, they eat them. 415 00:14:25,953 --> 00:14:27,586 They don't put them next to vital organs 416 00:14:27,619 --> 00:14:29,586 in their abdominal cavity! 417 00:14:29,619 --> 00:14:30,853 [INTERCOM BUZZES] 418 00:14:33,286 --> 00:14:34,253 Yeah? 419 00:14:34,286 --> 00:14:35,586 ELAINE: It's me. 420 00:14:35,619 --> 00:14:36,586 Come on up. 421 00:14:36,619 --> 00:14:38,586 Hey. 422 00:14:38,619 --> 00:14:38,818 This wallpaper is very good. 423 00:14:38,818 --> 00:14:40,519 This wallpaper is very good. 424 00:14:40,553 --> 00:14:43,786 My place looks like a ski lodge. 425 00:14:43,819 --> 00:14:45,186 Why'd you force that mint on me? 426 00:14:45,219 --> 00:14:46,786 I told you I didn't want the mint! 427 00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:47,786 Well, I didn't believe you. 428 00:14:47,819 --> 00:14:48,986 How could you not believe me? 429 00:14:49,019 --> 00:14:52,019 Well, who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? 430 00:14:52,053 --> 00:14:53,786 It's chocolate. It's peppermint. 431 00:14:53,819 --> 00:14:55,386 It's delicious! 432 00:14:56,553 --> 00:14:57,519 That's true. 433 00:14:57,553 --> 00:15:00,086 It's very refreshing! 434 00:15:00,119 --> 00:15:02,553 Well, just don't say anything about this to Elaine. 435 00:15:06,219 --> 00:15:07,953 Prognosis... 436 00:15:07,986 --> 00:15:08,818 negative. 437 00:15:08,818 --> 00:15:09,686 negative. 438 00:15:09,719 --> 00:15:11,953 Prognosis negative? 439 00:15:11,986 --> 00:15:13,319 He's not doing well. 440 00:15:13,353 --> 00:15:14,753 The doctors don't know what it is. 441 00:15:14,786 --> 00:15:15,786 They're baffled. 442 00:15:15,819 --> 00:15:18,786 Oh, my God.Oh, my God. 443 00:15:18,819 --> 00:15:20,486 Just my luck, you know? 444 00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:22,519 Just when he was getting thin and attractive. 445 00:15:22,553 --> 00:15:24,153 You know, Jerry, 446 00:15:24,186 --> 00:15:25,586 you should buy some of his art. 447 00:15:25,619 --> 00:15:27,353 That would really lift his spirits. 448 00:15:27,386 --> 00:15:28,519 It's that bleak? 449 00:15:28,553 --> 00:15:30,486 Mm. 450 00:15:30,519 --> 00:15:32,819 You know... 451 00:15:32,853 --> 00:15:34,619 if the guy dies, 452 00:15:34,653 --> 00:15:36,853 the art could really be worth something. 453 00:15:36,886 --> 00:15:38,286 We gotta confess! 454 00:15:38,319 --> 00:15:38,818 Really? Yes! 455 00:15:38,818 --> 00:15:39,286 Really? Yes! 456 00:15:39,319 --> 00:15:40,619 We could be tried for murder. 457 00:15:40,653 --> 00:15:42,019 I can't have this on my conscience. 458 00:15:42,053 --> 00:15:43,153 We're like Leopold and Loeb. 459 00:15:43,186 --> 00:15:44,586 You're not gonna say anything Got that?. 460 00:15:44,619 --> 00:15:45,586 You can't stop me. 461 00:15:45,619 --> 00:15:46,853 No, you're not! 462 00:15:46,886 --> 00:15:47,819 [DOOR OPENS] 463 00:15:49,786 --> 00:15:50,853 Hey, Elaine? 464 00:15:50,886 --> 00:15:53,319 Put me down for some of that art. 465 00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:54,286 $1900 worth. 466 00:15:59,186 --> 00:16:02,086 Oh, yeah, that's the spot. 467 00:16:02,119 --> 00:16:03,819 What are you so tense about? 468 00:16:03,853 --> 00:16:06,519 Oh, nothing, really. Just a homicide. 469 00:16:09,519 --> 00:16:12,253 Oh, that's terrific. 470 00:16:12,286 --> 00:16:13,219 Mulva. 471 00:16:21,453 --> 00:16:22,386 What? 472 00:16:24,119 --> 00:16:25,186 Mulva? 473 00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:27,953 Mulva? 474 00:16:28,619 --> 00:16:30,353 Uh, my, uh... 475 00:16:30,386 --> 00:16:33,086 My aunt's name is Mulva. She's-- She's a masseuse. 476 00:16:33,119 --> 00:16:35,253 Oh. Um, I'm going to the bathroom. 477 00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:36,453 I'll be right back. 478 00:16:36,486 --> 00:16:38,519 Oh, good idea. 479 00:16:47,619 --> 00:16:49,519 What are you doing? 480 00:16:49,553 --> 00:16:52,253 Oh. I was just looking for, uh, some gum, 481 00:16:52,286 --> 00:16:53,419 or a mint. 482 00:16:53,453 --> 00:16:54,586 Oh, I have Junior Mints. 483 00:16:54,619 --> 00:16:56,486 No! No, I mean... 484 00:16:56,519 --> 00:16:59,119 No, thank you. No. 485 00:17:02,953 --> 00:17:03,919 Any news? 486 00:17:03,953 --> 00:17:05,019 [WHISPERS] No, no news. 487 00:17:05,053 --> 00:17:06,253 You better get outta here. 488 00:17:06,286 --> 00:17:07,653 Oh, okay. Wait. Wait a second. 489 00:17:07,686 --> 00:17:08,818 I don't know the name 490 00:17:08,818 --> 00:17:09,153 I don't know the name 491 00:17:09,186 --> 00:17:10,419 of this woman in the bathroom, 492 00:17:10,453 --> 00:17:12,153 so when she comes out, you introduce yourself, 493 00:17:12,186 --> 00:17:13,753 then she'll be forced to say her name. 494 00:17:13,786 --> 00:17:15,386 10-4. Okay. 495 00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:18,919 Oh, hello. 496 00:17:18,953 --> 00:17:20,186 Hello, I'm Kramer. 497 00:17:20,219 --> 00:17:21,586 Nice to meet you. 498 00:17:21,619 --> 00:17:22,886 See you later. 499 00:17:24,953 --> 00:17:26,253 Well, I'd better get going. 500 00:17:26,286 --> 00:17:28,253 I don't wanna be late for the play. Oh, okay. 501 00:17:28,286 --> 00:17:29,653 You know, my cousin knows the producer. 502 00:17:29,686 --> 00:17:31,153 I may get to go backstage 503 00:17:31,186 --> 00:17:32,286 and meet Olympia Dukakis. 504 00:17:32,319 --> 00:17:33,819 Hey, there's a name you don't forget. 505 00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:34,919 Mm. Bye, Jerry. 506 00:17:34,953 --> 00:17:36,519 Bye. 507 00:17:37,386 --> 00:17:38,686 Oh, hi. Oh. 508 00:17:38,719 --> 00:17:38,818 Hi, I'm George. 509 00:17:38,818 --> 00:17:39,753 Hi, I'm George. 510 00:17:39,786 --> 00:17:41,419 Oh, nice to meet you, George. Yeah. 511 00:17:41,453 --> 00:17:42,986 I gave it a shot. 512 00:17:45,553 --> 00:17:47,953 So. Any word on the artiste? 513 00:17:47,986 --> 00:17:49,486 No. I haven't heard anything. 514 00:17:49,519 --> 00:17:50,686 Well, I got my triangles. 515 00:17:50,719 --> 00:17:51,953 Really. 516 00:17:51,986 --> 00:17:54,619 Yeah, you know, they really spruce up the apartment. 517 00:17:54,653 --> 00:17:57,186 Yeah, I'm sure. Well, I gotta call the hospital. 518 00:17:57,219 --> 00:17:58,586 I gotta tell them what happened. 519 00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,019 No, no, Jerry. I wouldn't do that. 520 00:18:00,053 --> 00:18:01,019 Why? Uh... 521 00:18:01,053 --> 00:18:02,453 You could get in trouble. 522 00:18:02,486 --> 00:18:04,419 Look, I gotta try and help the guy. 523 00:18:04,453 --> 00:18:07,153 Who are you to play God? 524 00:18:07,186 --> 00:18:08,818 Every man's time comes! 525 00:18:08,818 --> 00:18:09,253 Every man's time comes! 526 00:18:09,286 --> 00:18:11,253 If his number is up, who are you to interfere? 527 00:18:11,286 --> 00:18:13,786 Yes, I'd like to speak with Dr. Siegel. 528 00:18:13,819 --> 00:18:15,819 It's about Roy Corning's condition. 529 00:18:15,853 --> 00:18:17,086 What, what? 530 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:18,319 Oh, that's fantastic. 531 00:18:18,353 --> 00:18:19,686 He didn't get better, did he? 532 00:18:19,719 --> 00:18:21,119 Thank you very much. 533 00:18:21,153 --> 00:18:22,519 Okay, bye-bye. 534 00:18:22,553 --> 00:18:23,986 He's gonna be okay! 535 00:18:26,286 --> 00:18:28,919 Where's the luck? 536 00:18:28,953 --> 00:18:31,253 There's no luck. 537 00:18:31,286 --> 00:18:34,553 Nineteen hundred dollars down the drain. 538 00:18:36,986 --> 00:18:38,586 You saved my life, George. 539 00:18:38,619 --> 00:18:38,818 You buying my art 540 00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:39,919 You buying my art 541 00:18:39,953 --> 00:18:41,286 is what inspired me to get better. 542 00:18:41,319 --> 00:18:43,419 I'll never forget what you did for me. 543 00:18:43,453 --> 00:18:45,019 Oh, well, that's great. 544 00:18:45,053 --> 00:18:46,753 It's really great. 545 00:18:46,786 --> 00:18:48,019 You know, art's a great investment. 546 00:18:48,053 --> 00:18:49,453 Yeah, they'll look great in your apartment. 547 00:18:49,486 --> 00:18:52,753 Yes, I look forward to many years of... 548 00:18:52,786 --> 00:18:56,753 looking at the triangles. 549 00:18:56,786 --> 00:18:57,919 Well, I'll, uh... 550 00:18:57,953 --> 00:18:59,119 I'll wait for you outside. 551 00:18:59,153 --> 00:19:00,886 Hey, George. GEORGE: Yeah? 552 00:19:05,286 --> 00:19:06,253 KRAMER: All right. 553 00:19:06,286 --> 00:19:07,253 SEINFELD: That's nice. 554 00:19:07,286 --> 00:19:08,186 Thanks, Roy. 555 00:19:09,686 --> 00:19:10,919 Hey! 556 00:19:10,953 --> 00:19:13,986 There's the guy who saved my life. 557 00:19:14,019 --> 00:19:16,919 You know, I don't want to totally discount 558 00:19:16,953 --> 00:19:19,253 the emotional element in your recovery, 559 00:19:19,286 --> 00:19:22,619 but I think there were other factors at play here. 560 00:19:22,653 --> 00:19:24,853 What do you mean? 561 00:19:24,886 --> 00:19:27,119 I have no medical evidence to back me up, 562 00:19:27,153 --> 00:19:30,419 but something happened during the operation 563 00:19:30,453 --> 00:19:33,253 that staved off that infection. 564 00:19:33,286 --> 00:19:34,786 Something beyond science. 565 00:19:34,819 --> 00:19:36,753 DR. SIEGEL: Something, perhaps... 566 00:19:36,786 --> 00:19:38,818 from above. 567 00:19:38,818 --> 00:19:38,819 from above. 568 00:19:42,319 --> 00:19:43,286 Mint? 569 00:19:43,319 --> 00:19:46,186 Those can be very refreshing. 570 00:19:50,786 --> 00:19:52,086 [WITH MOUTH FULL] So, Elaine... 571 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:56,253 Where're we going for our big dinner on Friday? 572 00:19:56,286 --> 00:19:57,519 Um... 573 00:19:58,653 --> 00:20:00,186 I am so sorry, Roy, but, actually, 574 00:20:00,219 --> 00:20:02,086 we are going to the Poconos on Friday. 575 00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:03,086 Right, honey? 576 00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:06,086 I don't think so. 577 00:20:06,119 --> 00:20:08,353 Yeah, I think that we, uh... We are. 578 00:20:08,386 --> 00:20:08,818 I believe we're not. 579 00:20:08,818 --> 00:20:09,919 I believe we're not. 580 00:20:09,953 --> 00:20:11,753 [SLURPING] 581 00:20:11,786 --> 00:20:13,419 Please, can we go to the Poconos? 582 00:20:13,453 --> 00:20:14,886 Well, I'll think about it. 583 00:20:16,153 --> 00:20:17,453 MYSTERY WOMAN: Great seats. 584 00:20:17,486 --> 00:20:19,186 You could see the actors spitting. 585 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:20,253 Really. Mm-hmm. 586 00:20:20,286 --> 00:20:22,119 And, afterwards, we went backstage, 587 00:20:22,153 --> 00:20:24,286 and Olympia Dukakis autographed my playbill. 588 00:20:24,319 --> 00:20:27,853 Oh. What are you saying, you got her autograph? Yeah. 589 00:20:27,886 --> 00:20:29,119 Do you have it with you? 590 00:20:29,153 --> 00:20:31,486 Yeah, it's in my purse. 591 00:20:31,519 --> 00:20:34,086 Uh, let me see. 592 00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:36,086 You know, I really think I'm falling for you, 593 00:20:36,119 --> 00:20:37,419 Jerry Seinfeld. 594 00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:38,818 Oh, well, I really think I'm falling for you... 595 00:20:38,818 --> 00:20:41,619 Oh, well, I really think I'm falling for you... 596 00:20:41,653 --> 00:20:45,019 "Joseph Poglia." 597 00:20:46,953 --> 00:20:48,753 I had it autographed for my uncle. 598 00:20:48,786 --> 00:20:51,586 Yeah, I know. 599 00:20:51,619 --> 00:20:54,286 You don't know my name, do you? 600 00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:56,519 Yes, I do. 601 00:20:56,553 --> 00:20:57,853 What is it? 602 00:20:57,886 --> 00:21:01,286 It-- It rhymes with a female body part. 603 00:21:01,319 --> 00:21:02,453 What is it? 604 00:21:04,619 --> 00:21:05,519 Mulva? 605 00:21:09,486 --> 00:21:10,919 Um...uh... 606 00:21:10,953 --> 00:21:12,486 Gipple? 607 00:21:16,153 --> 00:21:17,519 Loleola? 608 00:21:25,786 --> 00:21:27,319 Oh! 609 00:21:27,353 --> 00:21:28,286 Oh! 610 00:21:30,019 --> 00:21:32,053 Dolores! 611 00:21:41,286 --> 00:21:42,786 At ages zero through 10, 612 00:21:42,819 --> 00:21:45,486 candy is your life. There's nothing else. 613 00:21:45,519 --> 00:21:47,153 Family, friends, school, 614 00:21:47,186 --> 00:21:48,186 they're only obstacles 615 00:21:48,219 --> 00:21:50,919 in the way of getting more candy. 616 00:21:50,953 --> 00:21:52,853 And you have your favorite candy that you love. 617 00:21:52,886 --> 00:21:55,253 You know, there's ones, "I love those, I hate those. 618 00:21:55,286 --> 00:21:57,353 I hate those, I love those." 619 00:21:57,386 --> 00:21:58,753 And only a seven-year-old kid 620 00:21:58,786 --> 00:22:00,019 could actually taste the difference 621 00:22:00,053 --> 00:22:03,353 between, like, a red M&M and a light brown M&M. 622 00:22:03,386 --> 00:22:05,286 That's two totally different things 623 00:22:05,319 --> 00:22:06,753 when you're a seven-year-old. 624 00:22:06,786 --> 00:22:09,086 "Well, you're right, it's more of a main-course M&M. 625 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:09,673 "But the brown, it's more of a mellower flavor. 626 00:22:09,673 --> 00:22:11,419 "But the brown, it's more of a mellower flavor. 627 00:22:11,453 --> 00:22:13,286 It's an after-dinner M&M, really." 41118

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