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1
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I think the idea
behind the tuxedo
2
00:00:02,366 --> 00:00:03,966
is kind of
the woman's point of view
3
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:05,300
that men are all the same.
4
00:00:05,333 --> 00:00:07,066
We might as well
dress them that way.
5
00:00:07,100 --> 00:00:10,300
That's why, to me, a wedding
is like the joining together
6
00:00:10,333 --> 00:00:13,533
of a beautiful, glowing bride
and...some guy.
7
00:00:15,166 --> 00:00:16,700
The tuxedo
is a wedding-safety device
8
00:00:16,733 --> 00:00:18,166
created by women
9
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,033
because they know
that men are undependable.
10
00:00:20,066 --> 00:00:21,466
So in case the groom
chickens out,
11
00:00:21,500 --> 00:00:23,166
everybody
just takes one step over
12
00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:25,333
and she marries the next guy.
13
00:00:25,366 --> 00:00:28,566
That's why the wedding vow isn't
"Do you take Bill Simpson?"
14
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,000
It's "Do you take...this man?"
15
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:30,933
It's "Do you take...this man?"
16
00:00:37,262 --> 00:00:39,062
JERRY:
Leave a message.I'll call you back. Thanks.
17
00:00:39,095 --> 00:00:40,095
[MACHINE BEEPS]
18
00:00:40,128 --> 00:00:41,962
Jerry? Joe Davola.
19
00:00:41,995 --> 00:00:45,562
[SPITTING]
20
00:00:45,595 --> 00:00:48,695
I have a hair on my tongue.
21
00:00:48,728 --> 00:00:50,128
Can't get it off.
22
00:00:50,162 --> 00:00:52,262
You know how much I hate that?
23
00:00:52,295 --> 00:00:53,962
Of course you do.
24
00:00:53,995 --> 00:00:55,462
You put it there.
25
00:00:55,495 --> 00:00:57,262
I know what you said about me,
Seinfeld.
26
00:00:57,295 --> 00:01:00,462
I know you bad-mouthed me
to the execs at NBC.
27
00:01:00,495 --> 00:01:02,616
Put the kibosh on my deal.
28
00:01:02,616 --> 00:01:02,895
Put the kibosh on my deal.
29
00:01:02,928 --> 00:01:06,262
Now I'll put the kibosh on you.
30
00:01:06,295 --> 00:01:09,362
You know I've kiboshed before.
31
00:01:09,395 --> 00:01:11,928
And I will kibosh again.
32
00:01:11,962 --> 00:01:12,962
[BEEPS]
33
00:01:19,462 --> 00:01:20,528
So, what do you think?
34
00:01:20,562 --> 00:01:21,595
About what?
35
00:01:21,628 --> 00:01:22,595
The opera.
36
00:01:22,628 --> 00:01:23,762
Nah, I don't want to go.
37
00:01:23,795 --> 00:01:24,762
You got to go.
38
00:01:24,795 --> 00:01:26,095
I-I-I don't like
the opera.
39
00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:27,428
What are they singing for?
40
00:01:27,462 --> 00:01:28,895
Who sings?
41
00:01:28,928 --> 00:01:30,228
You got
something to say,
42
00:01:30,262 --> 00:01:32,295
say it.
43
00:01:32,328 --> 00:01:32,616
Jerry, you don't
understand.
44
00:01:32,616 --> 00:01:33,795
Jerry, you don't
understand.
45
00:01:33,828 --> 00:01:35,528
That's the way
they talk in Italy.
46
00:01:35,562 --> 00:01:37,428
They sing to one another.
47
00:01:37,462 --> 00:01:43,762
[SINGING IN FAKE ITALIAN]
48
00:01:43,795 --> 00:01:44,862
All right, all right.
49
00:01:44,895 --> 00:01:46,228
That's the way it was, you know?
50
00:01:46,262 --> 00:01:47,595
I mean,
you listen to the language,
51
00:01:47,628 --> 00:01:49,695
it's got
that sing-songy quality to it.
52
00:01:49,728 --> 00:01:50,728
It's the language, Jerry.
53
00:01:50,762 --> 00:01:52,295
The language.
54
00:01:52,328 --> 00:01:53,895
So why don't they
talk like that now?
55
00:01:53,928 --> 00:01:56,095
Well, it's, uh...
It's too hard to, uh, keep up.
56
00:01:56,128 --> 00:01:57,462
You know, they got...
57
00:01:57,495 --> 00:01:59,062
They were tired.
58
00:01:59,095 --> 00:02:00,062
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
59
00:02:00,095 --> 00:02:01,128
Better get that.
60
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,128
Yeah?
61
00:02:02,162 --> 00:02:02,616
ELAINE: It's me.
62
00:02:02,616 --> 00:02:03,128
ELAINE: It's me.
63
00:02:03,162 --> 00:02:04,128
Come on up.
64
00:02:04,162 --> 00:02:06,128
So? Huh? What?
Ah, I don't know.
65
00:02:06,162 --> 00:02:07,728
Aw, come on, Jerry,
it's opening night.
66
00:02:07,762 --> 00:02:10,628
Black tie, Pagliacci.
The great clown.
67
00:02:10,662 --> 00:02:12,862
The great, sad, tragic...clown,
68
00:02:12,895 --> 00:02:14,095
Like you.
69
00:02:15,795 --> 00:02:17,195
Well, that's very flattering.
70
00:02:17,228 --> 00:02:18,895
How did you get these tickets?
71
00:02:18,928 --> 00:02:20,095
I heard they're
impossible to get.
72
00:02:20,128 --> 00:02:22,395
Oh, well,
I have many associates.
73
00:02:22,428 --> 00:02:23,728
I don't know.
74
00:02:23,762 --> 00:02:25,728
Opera, it's not
my kind of thing.
75
00:02:25,762 --> 00:02:26,862
You're not going,
I'm not going.
76
00:02:26,895 --> 00:02:28,362
I'm gonna call
the whole thing off.
77
00:02:28,395 --> 00:02:29,395
No, wait a minute.
78
00:02:29,428 --> 00:02:30,595
What about George,
Susan and Elaine?
79
00:02:30,628 --> 00:02:31,695
Why do you need me?
80
00:02:31,728 --> 00:02:32,616
You're the nucleus,
81
00:02:32,616 --> 00:02:32,695
You're the nucleus,
82
00:02:32,728 --> 00:02:34,595
the straw that stirs the drink.
83
00:02:34,628 --> 00:02:36,528
You're the "magliana."
84
00:02:36,562 --> 00:02:38,095
Well, I guess if
I'm the magliana,
Yeah.
85
00:02:38,128 --> 00:02:39,262
I should go.
86
00:02:39,295 --> 00:02:41,262
All right,
all right.
87
00:02:41,295 --> 00:02:43,128
Hi.
Hi, Elaine.
88
00:02:43,162 --> 00:02:44,295
You got the tickets,
right?
89
00:02:44,328 --> 00:02:46,028
No, I don't have them on me.
What?
90
00:02:46,062 --> 00:02:47,962
That's why I came
all the way over here.
91
00:02:47,995 --> 00:02:49,195
Yeah, well,
my friend's got them.
92
00:02:49,228 --> 00:02:50,362
I'm gonna pick them up
tomorrow.
93
00:02:50,395 --> 00:02:52,462
Oh, I was going to surprise Joey
with them.
94
00:02:52,495 --> 00:02:53,462
[DOOR CLOSES]
95
00:02:53,495 --> 00:02:54,695
You got an extra one, right?
96
00:02:54,728 --> 00:02:55,962
Oh, yeah!
97
00:02:55,995 --> 00:02:59,895
So I finally get to meet
your pal Joey.
98
00:02:59,928 --> 00:03:01,962
It's killing you,
isn't it?
99
00:03:01,995 --> 00:03:02,616
Yeah.
100
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:03,028
Yeah.
101
00:03:03,062 --> 00:03:05,962
So Joey's a great lover
of the opera.
102
00:03:05,995 --> 00:03:09,595
Listen...
103
00:03:09,628 --> 00:03:11,595
I got news for you.
104
00:03:11,628 --> 00:03:13,695
It's nice to be involved
with somebody
105
00:03:13,728 --> 00:03:16,162
who's interested in something
other than Nick at Nite.
106
00:03:17,462 --> 00:03:18,962
You know?
107
00:03:18,995 --> 00:03:20,528
He's got a grip on reality.
108
00:03:20,562 --> 00:03:23,595
He's-- He's-- He's happy,
he's well-adjusted.
109
00:03:23,628 --> 00:03:25,028
[OPERA MUSIC PLAYING]
110
00:03:25,062 --> 00:03:29,462
[SOBBING]
111
00:03:33,128 --> 00:03:34,762
Well, I'm looking forward
to meeting him.
112
00:03:34,795 --> 00:03:36,928
I gotta go.
113
00:03:36,962 --> 00:03:38,428
Where you going?
What's the rush?
114
00:03:38,462 --> 00:03:39,462
I'm gonna surprise Joey.
115
00:03:39,495 --> 00:03:40,762
I've never been
to his apartment,
116
00:03:40,795 --> 00:03:42,128
so I'm just gonna...pop in.
117
00:03:42,162 --> 00:03:43,662
Oh, good.
Men love that.
118
00:03:44,828 --> 00:03:45,928
[DOOR CLOSES]
119
00:03:45,962 --> 00:03:48,895
Hey.
120
00:03:48,928 --> 00:03:49,895
You got a message,
buddy.
121
00:03:49,928 --> 00:03:50,895
Ooh.
122
00:03:50,928 --> 00:03:52,095
It could be
from that blond.
123
00:03:52,128 --> 00:03:53,095
Ooh.
124
00:03:53,128 --> 00:03:54,628
[CLICKS TONGUE]
125
00:03:55,828 --> 00:03:58,262
Jerry? Joe Davola.
126
00:03:58,295 --> 00:04:01,262
[SPITTING]
127
00:04:01,295 --> 00:04:02,616
I have a hair on my tongue.
128
00:04:02,616 --> 00:04:02,895
I have a hair on my tongue.
129
00:04:02,928 --> 00:04:05,362
[CHUCKLING]
130
00:04:05,395 --> 00:04:09,962
[LAUGHING WILDLY]
131
00:04:09,995 --> 00:04:11,362
Kramer,
what am I gonna do?
132
00:04:11,395 --> 00:04:13,228
That guy's gonna put
the kibosh on me!
133
00:04:13,262 --> 00:04:14,428
He's crazy,
out of his mind--
134
00:04:14,462 --> 00:04:15,562
Steady, steady.
Now calm yourself!
135
00:04:15,595 --> 00:04:16,928
Come on,
get ahold of yourself!
136
00:04:16,962 --> 00:04:18,595
He's supposed to be
on medication.
137
00:04:18,628 --> 00:04:20,862
He told me
he was getting medication!
138
00:04:20,895 --> 00:04:22,062
Quiet, quiet!
Now let me think!
139
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,362
I'm gonna
call the cops.
140
00:04:23,395 --> 00:04:25,695
That's what I'm doing.
I'm calling the cops.
141
00:04:25,728 --> 00:04:27,695
The cops?! They're not
gonna do anything!
142
00:04:27,728 --> 00:04:29,062
What do you mean
they're not?
143
00:04:29,095 --> 00:04:30,595
They're the cops!
They got to do something!
144
00:04:30,628 --> 00:04:32,616
He'll put the kibosh on me!
Do you know what a kibosh is?
145
00:04:32,616 --> 00:04:33,262
He'll put the kibosh on me!
Do you know what a kibosh is?
146
00:04:34,262 --> 00:04:35,928
K-k-k-kibosh.
147
00:04:35,962 --> 00:04:37,428
I mean, it's a terrible mistake.
148
00:04:37,462 --> 00:04:39,428
He thinks I ruined
some deal of his at NBC.
149
00:04:39,462 --> 00:04:41,228
I don't know anything
about any deal at NBC.
150
00:04:41,262 --> 00:04:42,595
Call him
and tell him that!
151
00:04:42,628 --> 00:04:43,962
That-- That's
what I'll do.
152
00:04:43,995 --> 00:04:45,728
I'll just call him
and tell him.
153
00:04:45,762 --> 00:04:47,262
I'll tell him.
That's all I'll do.
154
00:04:47,295 --> 00:04:48,262
Right.
155
00:04:48,295 --> 00:04:50,628
He's a human being.
Yeah.
156
00:04:50,662 --> 00:04:52,895
I'll talk to him.
He'll understand, right?
157
00:04:52,928 --> 00:04:53,895
Yeah.
158
00:04:53,928 --> 00:04:56,095
Don't mention my name.
159
00:04:59,328 --> 00:05:01,062
Oh, I got the machine.
160
00:05:01,095 --> 00:05:02,562
What's his message like?
161
00:05:02,595 --> 00:05:02,616
Nice.
Yeah?
162
00:05:02,616 --> 00:05:04,462
Nice.
Yeah?
163
00:05:04,495 --> 00:05:06,628
Hello, Joe, listen,
this is Jerry Seinfeld.
164
00:05:06,662 --> 00:05:07,928
I-I really think
there's been
165
00:05:07,962 --> 00:05:10,295
a-a-a huge, colossal
misunderstanding.
166
00:05:10,328 --> 00:05:11,895
Big! Big!
167
00:05:11,928 --> 00:05:12,928
And I feel
168
00:05:12,962 --> 00:05:14,595
that if we could just
talk about this,
169
00:05:14,628 --> 00:05:16,028
we could straightenthe whole thing out,
170
00:05:16,062 --> 00:05:17,428
so call me back. Bye.
171
00:05:17,462 --> 00:05:19,295
[ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS]
172
00:05:21,462 --> 00:05:23,095
Joey?
173
00:05:24,895 --> 00:05:26,395
Joey?
174
00:05:42,828 --> 00:05:44,028
[DOOR THUDS]
175
00:05:44,062 --> 00:05:46,462
Oh, God. It's you.
176
00:05:46,495 --> 00:05:48,762
You scared me.
177
00:05:48,795 --> 00:05:51,628
Good.
Fear's our most primal emotion.
178
00:05:53,262 --> 00:05:55,462
You left your door open.
179
00:05:55,495 --> 00:05:58,228
I know.
I like to encourage intruders.
180
00:05:58,262 --> 00:06:01,795
[LAUGHS]
181
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:02,616
What--? Uh...
182
00:06:02,616 --> 00:06:02,962
What--? Uh...
183
00:06:02,995 --> 00:06:04,462
What is all this?
184
00:06:04,495 --> 00:06:05,962
Do you like it?
185
00:06:05,995 --> 00:06:08,962
My home is a...shrine to you.
186
00:06:10,828 --> 00:06:12,795
Where did you get
all these pictures?
187
00:06:12,828 --> 00:06:15,595
I took them myself
with a telephoto lens.
188
00:06:15,628 --> 00:06:17,595
Coming out
of your office,
189
00:06:17,628 --> 00:06:19,228
your apartment,
190
00:06:19,262 --> 00:06:20,762
shopping...
191
00:06:20,795 --> 00:06:22,228
showering.
192
00:06:24,295 --> 00:06:26,962
Sh-showering?
193
00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:29,095
I developed them myself
in my darkroom.
194
00:06:29,128 --> 00:06:30,128
Would you, uh...
195
00:06:30,162 --> 00:06:31,228
Would you like to see?
196
00:06:31,262 --> 00:06:32,616
In the darkroom?
197
00:06:32,616 --> 00:06:33,462
In the darkroom?
198
00:06:33,495 --> 00:06:35,728
Oh, uh, no, thank you.
199
00:06:35,762 --> 00:06:37,728
Not right now.
200
00:06:37,762 --> 00:06:41,028
♪ I'm a day person ♪
201
00:06:41,062 --> 00:06:42,262
[CHUCKLES UNCOMFORTABLY]
202
00:06:44,728 --> 00:06:47,295
Are--? Are you all right?
203
00:06:47,328 --> 00:06:49,728
Why?
204
00:06:49,762 --> 00:06:51,228
Well, I don't know.
205
00:06:51,262 --> 00:06:52,728
You just don't, uh...
206
00:06:52,762 --> 00:06:54,528
seem yourself.
207
00:06:54,562 --> 00:06:57,128
Who am I?
208
00:06:57,162 --> 00:06:58,595
Who am I supposed to be?
209
00:06:58,628 --> 00:07:00,695
That's a good question.
210
00:07:00,728 --> 00:07:01,928
Good question.
211
00:07:01,962 --> 00:07:02,616
It's very, uh, existential.
212
00:07:02,616 --> 00:07:04,228
It's very, uh, existential.
213
00:07:04,262 --> 00:07:06,062
Who are you? Who am I?
214
00:07:06,095 --> 00:07:08,128
Yeah. Well...
215
00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:09,928
What are you doing here?
216
00:07:09,962 --> 00:07:11,262
Oh, nothing.
217
00:07:11,295 --> 00:07:12,795
I just, uh...
stopped by to chat.
218
00:07:12,828 --> 00:07:15,295
You know, shoot the breeze.
219
00:07:15,328 --> 00:07:16,395
Were you able to get
220
00:07:16,428 --> 00:07:17,395
those opera tickets
to Pagliacci
221
00:07:17,428 --> 00:07:18,762
from that friend of yours?
222
00:07:18,795 --> 00:07:20,462
I'm really
looking forward to it.
223
00:07:20,495 --> 00:07:23,062
Oh, uh...
224
00:07:23,095 --> 00:07:24,428
no, he couldn't get them.
225
00:07:24,462 --> 00:07:26,595
We're not going.
226
00:07:26,628 --> 00:07:29,095
Really?
227
00:07:30,795 --> 00:07:31,895
Ooh, damn it!
228
00:07:31,928 --> 00:07:32,616
You know,
I just remembered I gotta go.
229
00:07:32,616 --> 00:07:34,728
You know,
I just remembered I gotta go.
230
00:07:34,762 --> 00:07:36,395
I, uh...left something on--
231
00:07:36,428 --> 00:07:39,195
the gas, the lights,
the water in the tub.
232
00:07:39,228 --> 00:07:40,695
Something is on somewhere,
233
00:07:40,728 --> 00:07:42,262
so I'm just
gonna get the, uh...
234
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,195
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
235
00:07:44,228 --> 00:07:46,328
Do you know the story
of Pagliacci, Nedda?
236
00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:49,195
Uh, I'm Elaine.
237
00:07:49,228 --> 00:07:53,128
He's a clown whose wife
is unfaithful to him.
238
00:07:53,162 --> 00:07:54,562
Oh.
239
00:07:54,595 --> 00:07:57,095
Do you think I'm a clown...
Nedda?
240
00:07:57,128 --> 00:08:00,062
Do I think you're a clown?
241
00:08:00,095 --> 00:08:02,095
No!
Not if it's bad to be a clown.
242
00:08:02,128 --> 00:08:02,616
If it's bad to be a clown,
243
00:08:02,616 --> 00:08:03,528
If it's bad to be a clown,
244
00:08:03,562 --> 00:08:06,628
then you are definitely
not a clown.
245
00:08:06,662 --> 00:08:08,595
But if it's good to be a clown,
246
00:08:08,628 --> 00:08:11,795
then I would, you know,
have to rethink the whole thing.
247
00:08:11,828 --> 00:08:13,362
You've betrayed me
with another,
248
00:08:13,395 --> 00:08:15,528
haven't you, Nedda?
249
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:17,928
Who is he? I want you
to tell me who he is.
250
00:08:17,962 --> 00:08:20,528
I want his name.
Tell me his name.
251
00:08:20,562 --> 00:08:23,195
Ooh, like any man
would ever look at me.
252
00:08:23,228 --> 00:08:24,395
Come on.
253
00:08:24,428 --> 00:08:26,228
I'm gonna...
get out of here.
254
00:08:26,262 --> 00:08:28,628
Pagliacci kills his wife.
255
00:08:28,662 --> 00:08:29,695
See? Now,
that's terrible.
256
00:08:29,728 --> 00:08:30,762
That is, uh...
257
00:08:30,795 --> 00:08:32,616
That's not a nice thing
to do at all.
258
00:08:32,616 --> 00:08:32,695
That's not a nice thing
to do at all.
259
00:08:32,728 --> 00:08:33,728
You know, I would assume--
260
00:08:33,762 --> 00:08:35,362
Um, I don't know
how this Pagliacci thing
261
00:08:35,395 --> 00:08:36,362
actually turns out--
262
00:08:36,395 --> 00:08:37,862
But, I mean, I would assume
263
00:08:37,895 --> 00:08:39,928
that there was big, big trouble
for that clown.
264
00:08:39,962 --> 00:08:40,962
You're not leaving.
265
00:08:40,995 --> 00:08:41,962
[SPRAY HISSES]
266
00:08:41,995 --> 00:08:43,795
Ow! Ooh!
267
00:08:43,828 --> 00:08:44,895
[CRASHING]
268
00:08:47,295 --> 00:08:49,428
But, officer, he threatened me!
269
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,128
I don't understand!
That's not right!
270
00:08:51,162 --> 00:08:53,128
What if it was the president
of the United States?
271
00:08:53,162 --> 00:08:55,028
I'd bet you'd investigate.
272
00:08:55,062 --> 00:08:56,128
Well, so, what's the difference?
273
00:08:56,162 --> 00:08:59,028
I'm a comedian
of the United States...
274
00:08:59,062 --> 00:09:02,395
and I'll tell you,
I'm under just as much pressure.
275
00:09:02,428 --> 00:09:02,616
All right. Thanks anyway.
Okay. Bye.
276
00:09:02,616 --> 00:09:06,128
All right. Thanks anyway.
Okay. Bye.
277
00:09:06,162 --> 00:09:08,562
[DOORKNOB TURNS,
KNOCK ON DOOR]
278
00:09:08,595 --> 00:09:09,628
Who is it?
279
00:09:09,662 --> 00:09:10,662
It's George.
280
00:09:15,328 --> 00:09:16,695
What, are you
locking the door now?
281
00:09:16,728 --> 00:09:18,062
Yeah.
282
00:09:28,628 --> 00:09:30,128
Well, well. Look at you.
283
00:09:31,995 --> 00:09:32,616
It's a little skimpy,
there, isn't it?
284
00:09:32,616 --> 00:09:35,928
It's a little skimpy,
there, isn't it?
285
00:09:35,962 --> 00:09:38,562
You know the last time
I wore this thing?
286
00:09:38,595 --> 00:09:39,895
Six years ago.
287
00:09:39,928 --> 00:09:42,095
When I made that toast
at Bobby Leighton's wedding?
288
00:09:42,128 --> 00:09:44,395
Ooh, that was a bad toast.
289
00:09:44,428 --> 00:09:45,928
It wasn't that bad.
290
00:09:45,962 --> 00:09:48,728
I never heard anybody
curse in a toast.
291
00:09:48,762 --> 00:09:51,562
I was trying to loosen
them up a little bit.
292
00:09:51,595 --> 00:09:53,728
There were
old people there.
293
00:09:53,762 --> 00:09:55,028
All the relatives.
294
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:57,428
You were like
a Redd Foxx record.
295
00:09:57,462 --> 00:10:00,428
I mean, at the end of the toast,
nobody even drank.
296
00:10:00,462 --> 00:10:02,228
They were just standing there--
They were just frozen.
297
00:10:02,262 --> 00:10:02,616
People were...
298
00:10:02,616 --> 00:10:04,628
People were...
299
00:10:04,662 --> 00:10:05,628
That might have been
300
00:10:05,662 --> 00:10:07,528
one of the worst
all-time toasts.
301
00:10:07,562 --> 00:10:08,862
All right, still,
302
00:10:08,895 --> 00:10:11,062
her father didn't have
to throw me out like that.
303
00:10:11,095 --> 00:10:12,528
He could've just
asked me to leave.
304
00:10:12,562 --> 00:10:14,795
The guy had me in a headlock.
305
00:10:14,828 --> 00:10:16,395
Susan's not going tonight,
you know.
306
00:10:16,428 --> 00:10:18,395
What do you mean,
not going? Why not?
307
00:10:18,428 --> 00:10:20,195
She had to pick up
a friend of hers
308
00:10:20,228 --> 00:10:21,562
at the airport.
309
00:10:21,595 --> 00:10:22,795
It cost me $100,
this ticket.
310
00:10:22,828 --> 00:10:24,195
Why didn't she pay for hers?
311
00:10:24,228 --> 00:10:25,728
That's a very
good question.
312
00:10:25,762 --> 00:10:27,595
You know, she and I
go out to dinner,
313
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,295
she doesn't even
reach for the check.
314
00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:30,895
That's all I'm asking for
is a reach.
315
00:10:30,928 --> 00:10:32,616
Is that so much to ask for?
It's nice to get a reach.
316
00:10:32,616 --> 00:10:33,528
Is that so much to ask for?
It's nice to get a reach.
317
00:10:33,562 --> 00:10:34,762
[BANGING ON DOOR]
318
00:10:34,795 --> 00:10:36,395
Oh! Ow!
319
00:10:37,228 --> 00:10:38,728
Who is it?
320
00:10:38,762 --> 00:10:40,228
KRAMER: It's me!
321
00:10:41,595 --> 00:10:44,195
Why are you locking
the door now?
322
00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:46,195
Because of Davola.
Get in here.
323
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:47,228
What the--?
324
00:10:49,562 --> 00:10:50,695
How come
you're not dressed?
325
00:10:50,728 --> 00:10:52,195
I am dressed.
326
00:10:52,228 --> 00:10:53,795
You're going like this?
327
00:10:53,828 --> 00:10:55,595
Yeah, yeah. Hey, I want you
to hear something.
328
00:10:55,628 --> 00:10:57,028
I thought you said
people dress up
329
00:10:57,062 --> 00:10:58,195
when they go
to the opera.
330
00:10:58,228 --> 00:10:59,462
Well, people do. I don't.
331
00:11:00,895 --> 00:11:02,616
If you're going like that,
I'm not going like this.
332
00:11:02,616 --> 00:11:03,628
If you're going like that,
I'm not going like this.
333
00:11:03,662 --> 00:11:04,862
Wait a minute. Wait a minute!
334
00:11:04,895 --> 00:11:07,795
Do you think
I'm comfortable here?
335
00:11:07,828 --> 00:11:10,028
I can't change.
I got no clothes here.
336
00:11:10,062 --> 00:11:12,262
You gotta go like that!
I can't go like this alone!
337
00:11:12,295 --> 00:11:13,728
Why should I be uncomfortable
338
00:11:13,762 --> 00:11:15,728
just because my apartment's
closer to Town Hall than yours?
339
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:17,728
That's not the issue.
We're friends!
340
00:11:17,762 --> 00:11:19,728
If I'm gonna be uncomfortable,
you gotta be uncomfortable too!
341
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:22,295
All right, all right,
I'll wear this!
342
00:11:22,328 --> 00:11:23,862
Bad enough
I gotta go to the opera,
343
00:11:23,895 --> 00:11:25,695
I gotta sit next
to Ozzie Nelson over here.
344
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:26,895
[OPERA MUSIC PLAYING]
345
00:11:26,928 --> 00:11:29,295
Would you turn that down?
What is that crap?
346
00:11:29,328 --> 00:11:30,462
It's Pagliacci.
347
00:11:30,495 --> 00:11:32,616
Oh, beautiful.
348
00:11:32,616 --> 00:11:32,728
Oh, beautiful.
349
00:11:32,762 --> 00:11:34,128
Listen, we got
a little problem here.
350
00:11:34,162 --> 00:11:35,295
We got two extra tickets.
351
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,395
Why, what happened?
352
00:11:36,428 --> 00:11:37,728
Well, Susan isn't going,
353
00:11:37,762 --> 00:11:39,128
and Elaine
just left me a message,
354
00:11:39,162 --> 00:11:40,295
her friend isn't going either.
355
00:11:40,328 --> 00:11:42,295
That's fantastic.
We'll scalp the tickets.
356
00:11:42,328 --> 00:11:44,562
We could make maybe,
uh...500 a ticket.
357
00:11:44,595 --> 00:11:45,562
What, really?
358
00:11:45,595 --> 00:11:46,628
Oh, yeah.
359
00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:49,128
What, people are looking
for tickets here?
360
00:11:49,162 --> 00:11:50,795
Are you kidding?
361
00:11:50,828 --> 00:11:52,795
Opening night?
Pavarotti in Pagliacci?
362
00:11:52,828 --> 00:11:54,062
[LAUGHING]
363
00:11:54,095 --> 00:11:55,195
We're gonna clean up!
364
00:11:55,228 --> 00:11:57,195
Oh, man, I knew
I was gonna love the opera!
365
00:11:57,228 --> 00:11:58,628
Oh, yeah, right.
366
00:11:58,662 --> 00:12:00,895
Come on, let's go
get the tickets.
All right.
367
00:12:00,928 --> 00:12:02,616
All right, listen,
I gotta wait for Elaine.
368
00:12:02,616 --> 00:12:02,962
All right, listen,
I gotta wait for Elaine.
369
00:12:02,995 --> 00:12:05,095
You guys go, I'll meet you
in front of the theater.
370
00:12:05,128 --> 00:12:06,528
Now, wait.
Isn't scalping illegal?
371
00:12:06,562 --> 00:12:07,962
Oh, yeah.
372
00:12:10,262 --> 00:12:12,628
[MAN SINGING ARIA
FROM "PAGLIACCI" IN ITALIAN]
373
00:12:24,462 --> 00:12:25,928
You sprayed him
in the eyes
374
00:12:25,962 --> 00:12:28,628
with Binaca?
375
00:12:31,162 --> 00:12:33,762
Cherry Binaca.
It's new.
376
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:34,962
See, I don't get that.
377
00:12:34,995 --> 00:12:36,395
First, they come out
with the regular.
378
00:12:36,428 --> 00:12:39,128
A year later, they have cherry.
They know we like cherry.
379
00:12:39,162 --> 00:12:41,462
Start with cherry.
Then come out with the regular.
380
00:12:41,495 --> 00:12:43,195
It was like
I didn't even know him.
381
00:12:43,228 --> 00:12:44,762
He was like
a totally different person.
382
00:12:44,795 --> 00:12:46,928
You should hear
the message from my nut.
383
00:12:46,962 --> 00:12:48,062
Where's George
and Kramer?
384
00:12:48,095 --> 00:12:49,228
I don't like
standing out here.
385
00:12:49,262 --> 00:12:50,595
I want to get
inside already.
386
00:12:50,628 --> 00:12:50,740
I feel very vulnerable.
387
00:12:50,740 --> 00:12:52,395
I feel very vulnerable.
388
00:12:52,428 --> 00:12:53,562
[COIN CLINKS ON SIDEWALK]
389
00:12:53,595 --> 00:12:54,728
Hey. Hey,
what are you doing?
390
00:12:54,762 --> 00:12:55,728
That's my quarter.
391
00:12:55,762 --> 00:12:56,862
No, it's not. It's mine.
392
00:12:56,895 --> 00:12:58,562
I was just flipping it.
That's mine.
393
00:12:58,595 --> 00:12:59,728
No, I dropped it.
It's mine.
394
00:12:59,762 --> 00:13:01,895
You want the quarter,
take the quarter,
395
00:13:01,928 --> 00:13:03,595
but don't try and tell me
it's yours.
396
00:13:03,628 --> 00:13:05,228
Well, it is mine.
397
00:13:05,262 --> 00:13:07,062
What, you think I care
about the money?
398
00:13:07,095 --> 00:13:09,462
Is that what you think?
You want me to show you?
399
00:13:09,495 --> 00:13:11,462
Here, look. Look at this.
Here's a dollar. Look.
400
00:13:11,495 --> 00:13:13,295
There. That's how much
I care about money. There.
401
00:13:13,328 --> 00:13:14,428
Think I care
about money?
402
00:13:14,462 --> 00:13:16,062
That's how much
I care about money.
403
00:13:16,095 --> 00:13:18,262
Why don't you get lost?
Why don't you get lost?
404
00:13:18,295 --> 00:13:19,762
Because I was standing here,
that's why.
405
00:13:19,795 --> 00:13:20,740
Oh, yeah?
Yeah!
406
00:13:20,740 --> 00:13:21,428
Oh, yeah?
Yeah!
407
00:13:26,628 --> 00:13:27,962
I kind of like
this opera crowd.
408
00:13:27,995 --> 00:13:29,462
I feel tough.
409
00:13:32,728 --> 00:13:35,562
Anybody else
got a problem?
410
00:13:38,095 --> 00:13:39,195
Hey, clown!
411
00:13:39,228 --> 00:13:40,295
Clown.
412
00:13:40,328 --> 00:13:42,728
Make us laugh,
clown.
413
00:13:42,762 --> 00:13:44,195
Nice face, clown.
414
00:13:44,228 --> 00:13:45,395
Make me laugh, clown.
415
00:13:45,428 --> 00:13:47,295
[GRUNTING]
416
00:13:50,062 --> 00:13:50,740
[MOANING]
417
00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:52,928
[MOANING]
418
00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:54,862
I got two.
I got two, huh?
419
00:13:54,895 --> 00:13:56,962
Pagliacci, huh?
Who needs Pagliacci, huh?
420
00:13:56,995 --> 00:13:58,528
Come on,
the great tragic clown.
421
00:13:58,562 --> 00:14:00,795
Come on, check it out.
He laughs, he cries, he sings.
422
00:14:00,828 --> 00:14:01,795
Pagliacci.
423
00:14:01,828 --> 00:14:03,195
Hey, I got two beauties
right here.
424
00:14:03,228 --> 00:14:04,595
Come on, fella,
check it out, huh?
425
00:14:04,628 --> 00:14:05,595
All right.
426
00:14:05,628 --> 00:14:06,628
Hey, hey, you selling?
427
00:14:06,662 --> 00:14:08,028
Oh, I'm selling.
428
00:14:08,062 --> 00:14:09,095
Where are they?
429
00:14:09,128 --> 00:14:11,962
Orchestra. Row G.
Dead center. Primo.
430
00:14:11,995 --> 00:14:14,295
You'll think you died
and went to heaven.
431
00:14:14,328 --> 00:14:15,895
What do you
want for them?
432
00:14:15,928 --> 00:14:17,095
I'll tell you what I'll do,
433
00:14:17,128 --> 00:14:18,462
because you look like
a nice guy.
434
00:14:18,495 --> 00:14:20,362
A thousand dollars
for the deuce.
435
00:14:20,395 --> 00:14:20,740
Uh, give you
500 for the pair.
436
00:14:20,740 --> 00:14:22,128
Uh, give you
500 for the pair.
437
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:23,228
Yeah. It's a deal.
438
00:14:23,262 --> 00:14:24,295
Boop. No.
439
00:14:24,328 --> 00:14:26,462
What? No?
Are you crazy?
440
00:14:26,495 --> 00:14:27,628
Look, let me handle this.
441
00:14:27,662 --> 00:14:30,128
That's $500.
That's a great deal.
442
00:14:30,162 --> 00:14:31,528
You're blowing it.
The guy's a pigeon.
443
00:14:31,562 --> 00:14:32,928
Ah...
444
00:14:32,962 --> 00:14:36,062
Oh, God, see, he's walking away.
What is wrong with you?
445
00:14:36,095 --> 00:14:37,862
That was a $300 profit!
446
00:14:37,895 --> 00:14:39,795
You know, I know
what I'm doing here, George.
447
00:14:39,828 --> 00:14:41,628
Look, this is not
a Metallica concert,
448
00:14:41,662 --> 00:14:42,928
it's an opera,
all right?
449
00:14:42,962 --> 00:14:44,628
A little dignity.
A little class.
450
00:14:44,662 --> 00:14:45,795
Just give me my ticket.
451
00:14:45,828 --> 00:14:47,795
I will stand over here
and sell it.
Oh, yeah.
452
00:14:47,828 --> 00:14:49,062
Thank you very much.
453
00:14:49,095 --> 00:14:50,740
You just stand over there,
I'll stand over here.
454
00:14:50,740 --> 00:14:50,795
You just stand over there,
I'll stand over here.
455
00:14:50,828 --> 00:14:51,862
I know where I'm standing.
456
00:14:51,895 --> 00:14:53,428
All right.
Get your Pagliaccis here!
457
00:14:53,462 --> 00:14:54,595
Come on, Pagliaccis
right here, huh?
458
00:14:54,628 --> 00:14:56,462
Where are they already?
459
00:14:56,495 --> 00:14:57,628
I guarantee you
460
00:14:57,662 --> 00:14:59,262
they don't sell either one
of those tickets.
461
00:14:59,295 --> 00:15:00,428
Hey, look,
462
00:15:00,462 --> 00:15:01,728
there's Bobby Leighton's
father-in-law.
463
00:15:01,762 --> 00:15:04,895
Mr. Reichman. George and I
were just talking about him.
464
00:15:04,928 --> 00:15:07,095
That's the guy who threw George
out of the wedding.
465
00:15:07,128 --> 00:15:09,728
Oh, yeah. When George
made that bad toast?
466
00:15:09,762 --> 00:15:11,095
You remember
the curse toast?
467
00:15:11,128 --> 00:15:13,295
Oh, yeah. The curse toast.
468
00:15:13,328 --> 00:15:15,028
So can you believe
that message?
469
00:15:15,062 --> 00:15:16,795
Now I gotta spend
the rest of my life
470
00:15:16,828 --> 00:15:17,795
looking over my shoulder.
471
00:15:17,828 --> 00:15:20,462
Me too.
472
00:15:20,495 --> 00:15:20,740
Crazy Joe Davola...
473
00:15:20,740 --> 00:15:23,928
Crazy Joe Davola...
474
00:15:23,962 --> 00:15:25,295
How do you
know his name?
475
00:15:25,328 --> 00:15:27,295
What do you mean?
Why wouldn't I know his name?
476
00:15:27,328 --> 00:15:28,528
I never told you his name.
477
00:15:28,562 --> 00:15:29,928
I never told you his name.
478
00:15:29,962 --> 00:15:32,262
Wait a second,
who are we talking about here?
479
00:15:32,295 --> 00:15:33,362
Joe Davola.
480
00:15:33,395 --> 00:15:34,662
Right, Joe Davola.
481
00:15:36,162 --> 00:15:37,728
How do you know his name?
482
00:15:37,762 --> 00:15:39,895
I've been out with him
three times.
483
00:15:39,928 --> 00:15:42,895
I should know the man's name.
484
00:15:42,928 --> 00:15:44,895
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
485
00:15:44,928 --> 00:15:46,395
He's stalking you?
486
00:15:46,428 --> 00:15:48,562
You're going out with a madman
who's trying to kill me?
487
00:15:48,595 --> 00:15:49,962
Oh, Jerry,
why didn't you tell me
488
00:15:49,995 --> 00:15:50,740
his name was Joe Davola?
489
00:15:50,740 --> 00:15:50,962
his name was Joe Davola?
490
00:15:50,995 --> 00:15:52,128
Why didn't you tell me?
491
00:15:52,162 --> 00:15:53,962
Last night, he accused me
of seeing someone else.
492
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:56,395
He said, "Tell me his name!"
He said that?
493
00:15:56,428 --> 00:15:58,795
If he sees me with you,
can you imagine what he'll do?
494
00:15:58,828 --> 00:16:01,395
If he thinks I ruined
his NBC deal and stole his girl!
495
00:16:01,428 --> 00:16:04,028
That will be a kibosh for sure.
What about me?
496
00:16:04,062 --> 00:16:05,062
MAN: Excuse me.
497
00:16:05,095 --> 00:16:06,628
[SCREAMING]
498
00:16:06,662 --> 00:16:09,228
Come on. This is Pavarotti.
499
00:16:09,262 --> 00:16:12,628
Three hundred dollars?
That's a lot of money.
500
00:16:12,662 --> 00:16:14,195
You know, Steven Holtzman
did a production
501
00:16:14,228 --> 00:16:15,862
in Tunis last year,
502
00:16:15,895 --> 00:16:18,962
and from what I understand,
the Muslims really took to it.
503
00:16:18,995 --> 00:16:20,740
I'll tell you what,
you seem like a nice guy.
504
00:16:20,740 --> 00:16:21,462
I'll tell you what,
you seem like a nice guy.
505
00:16:21,495 --> 00:16:23,195
Let's stop jerking around
here, all right?
506
00:16:23,228 --> 00:16:25,695
Give me...$250.
507
00:16:25,728 --> 00:16:26,895
I got people waiting for me.
508
00:16:26,928 --> 00:16:28,595
I gotta get
the hell out of here.
509
00:16:28,628 --> 00:16:29,695
They're scalping!
510
00:16:29,728 --> 00:16:31,295
I told them
to put out extra security.
511
00:16:31,328 --> 00:16:32,695
Excuse me.
512
00:16:32,728 --> 00:16:35,595
Pop, would you buzz off?
I got something cooking here.
513
00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:37,595
Costanza?
Mr. Reichman?
514
00:16:37,628 --> 00:16:39,195
You've still got
a mouth like a sewer!
515
00:16:39,228 --> 00:16:40,195
Give me those tickets.
516
00:16:40,228 --> 00:16:41,762
Harold, don't!
517
00:16:41,795 --> 00:16:45,928
Harold, be careful
of your hair transplant!
518
00:16:45,962 --> 00:16:47,295
Anything is welcome.
519
00:16:47,328 --> 00:16:48,795
I accept...change.
520
00:16:48,828 --> 00:16:50,740
I don't have anything.
I gave it to that guy.
521
00:16:50,740 --> 00:16:51,395
I don't have anything.
I gave it to that guy.
522
00:16:53,662 --> 00:16:56,028
You know,
you could just say no.
523
00:16:56,062 --> 00:16:57,795
You don't have
to humiliate me.
524
00:16:57,828 --> 00:17:01,028
I may be dressed as a clown,
but I am a person.
525
00:17:01,062 --> 00:17:02,628
No, I'm telling you,
the guy took my--
526
00:17:02,662 --> 00:17:04,028
And I don't need
people like you
527
00:17:04,062 --> 00:17:05,462
looking down
their noses at me.
528
00:17:05,495 --> 00:17:07,962
I am just a street
performer out here,
529
00:17:07,995 --> 00:17:09,795
trying to make
enough to get by.
530
00:17:09,828 --> 00:17:10,928
Doctor!
531
00:17:10,962 --> 00:17:12,628
Is there a doctor anywhere?
532
00:17:12,662 --> 00:17:14,628
We need a doctor!
533
00:17:14,662 --> 00:17:16,295
What are you, showing off
for your girlfriend?
534
00:17:16,328 --> 00:17:17,295
Is that it?
535
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:19,028
Uh, I'm not
his girlfriend.
536
00:17:19,062 --> 00:17:20,740
We dated for a while,
but things didn't work out.
537
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:21,728
We dated for a while,
but things didn't work out.
538
00:17:21,762 --> 00:17:24,995
You people make me sick.
539
00:17:28,095 --> 00:17:31,728
That is one angry clown.
540
00:17:31,762 --> 00:17:33,128
The hardest part
about being a clown,
541
00:17:33,162 --> 00:17:34,462
it seems to me,
542
00:17:34,495 --> 00:17:37,262
would be that you're constantly
referred to as a clown.
543
00:17:37,295 --> 00:17:38,362
"Who is that clown?"
544
00:17:38,395 --> 00:17:39,562
"I'm not working
with that clown."
545
00:17:39,595 --> 00:17:41,595
"Did you hire that clown?"
546
00:17:41,628 --> 00:17:43,028
"The guy's a clown."
547
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,762
How do you start into
being a clown?
548
00:17:44,795 --> 00:17:46,562
How do you know
you wanna be a clown?
549
00:17:46,595 --> 00:17:48,562
I mean, I guess
you just get to a point
550
00:17:48,595 --> 00:17:49,895
where your pants look so bad,
551
00:17:49,928 --> 00:17:50,740
it's actually easier
to become a clown
552
00:17:50,740 --> 00:17:52,462
it's actually easier
to become a clown
553
00:17:52,495 --> 00:17:54,862
than having
the proper alterations done.
554
00:17:54,895 --> 00:17:56,962
Because if you think about it,
a clown,
555
00:17:56,995 --> 00:17:59,295
if there isn't
a circus around them,
556
00:17:59,328 --> 00:18:02,128
is really just
a very annoying person.
557
00:18:02,162 --> 00:18:05,228
I mean, you're in the back seat
of this guy's Volkswagen.
558
00:18:05,262 --> 00:18:07,195
"What, you're picking
somebody else up?
559
00:18:07,228 --> 00:18:09,428
Oh, man!"
560
00:18:09,462 --> 00:18:12,195
I got one. Who needs one?
Pagliacci. Pagliacci.
561
00:18:12,228 --> 00:18:13,462
The tragic clown...
562
00:18:13,495 --> 00:18:15,762
Paglia...cci.
563
00:18:18,895 --> 00:18:20,428
What did you say?
564
00:18:22,162 --> 00:18:23,762
What, are you a cop?
565
00:18:23,795 --> 00:18:26,462
No, I'm a clown.
566
00:18:28,262 --> 00:18:30,095
Man, you look familiar.
567
00:18:30,128 --> 00:18:32,762
You ever been to the circus?
568
00:18:32,795 --> 00:18:35,028
Well, when I was a kid.
569
00:18:35,062 --> 00:18:36,295
Did you like it?
570
00:18:36,328 --> 00:18:39,062
Well, you know, it was fun.
571
00:18:39,095 --> 00:18:42,862
I was kind of scared
of the clowns.
572
00:18:42,895 --> 00:18:45,962
Are you still scared
of clowns?
573
00:18:45,995 --> 00:18:48,428
Yeah.
574
00:18:50,828 --> 00:18:52,595
We're gonna miss
the overture.
575
00:18:52,628 --> 00:18:55,562
♪ Overture
Curtains, lights ♪
576
00:18:55,595 --> 00:18:58,295
♪ This is it
We'll hit the heights ♪
577
00:18:58,328 --> 00:19:01,462
♪ And, oh, what heights
We'll hit ♪
578
00:19:01,495 --> 00:19:05,628
♪ On with the show
This is it ♪
579
00:19:09,128 --> 00:19:11,395
You know, it is so sad.
580
00:19:11,428 --> 00:19:13,362
All your knowledge
of high culture
581
00:19:13,395 --> 00:19:14,895
comes from Bugs Bunny cartoons.
582
00:19:17,395 --> 00:19:18,862
Oh, there's that clown again.
583
00:19:18,895 --> 00:19:20,128
What does he want from me?
584
00:19:20,162 --> 00:19:20,740
Look, I'm serious,
I'm not kidding.
585
00:19:20,740 --> 00:19:21,962
Look, I'm serious,
I'm not kidding.
586
00:19:21,995 --> 00:19:23,962
I don't have the quarter.
That guy took it.
587
00:19:23,995 --> 00:19:25,362
I don't want any money.
588
00:19:25,395 --> 00:19:26,428
[ELAINE SNIFFS]
589
00:19:26,462 --> 00:19:27,562
Huh?
590
00:19:27,595 --> 00:19:29,095
I smell cherry.
591
00:19:31,495 --> 00:19:32,695
It's Binaca.
592
00:19:32,728 --> 00:19:34,195
Binaca?
593
00:19:34,228 --> 00:19:36,495
[SINGING OPERA IN ITALIAN]
594
00:19:37,995 --> 00:19:39,262
[GASPS, SCREAMS]
595
00:19:40,717 --> 00:19:41,850
Go! Go!
596
00:19:41,884 --> 00:19:44,184
What did we say, 275 here?
597
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:45,517
250.
598
00:19:45,550 --> 00:19:47,050
250?
599
00:19:47,084 --> 00:19:48,217
Are you sure?
600
00:19:48,250 --> 00:19:49,517
Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure.
601
00:19:49,550 --> 00:19:50,740
All right, all right. 250.
602
00:19:50,740 --> 00:19:51,217
All right, all right. 250.
603
00:19:51,250 --> 00:19:52,350
SUSAN: George!
604
00:19:52,384 --> 00:19:53,884
S-Susan.
605
00:19:53,917 --> 00:19:54,950
I don't believe it!
606
00:19:54,984 --> 00:19:56,217
I'm so glad I caught you!
607
00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:57,450
Yeah...
608
00:19:57,484 --> 00:19:58,484
What are you doing here?
609
00:19:58,517 --> 00:20:00,050
I thought you were going
to the airport.
610
00:20:00,084 --> 00:20:01,684
Oh, there was some problem
with the plane.
611
00:20:01,717 --> 00:20:03,050
They landed in Philadelphia.
612
00:20:03,084 --> 00:20:04,650
Well, so what?
They don't have another plane?
613
00:20:04,684 --> 00:20:05,884
She couldn't take a bus?
614
00:20:05,917 --> 00:20:08,017
She's coming in tomorrow,
but I made it.
615
00:20:08,050 --> 00:20:10,284
Yeah, you made it.
How about that?
616
00:20:10,317 --> 00:20:11,384
Oh, I'm so excited.
617
00:20:11,417 --> 00:20:13,784
Now we get to see
the opera together.
618
00:20:13,817 --> 00:20:15,550
We get to go to
the opera--
619
00:20:15,584 --> 00:20:16,650
[WHISPERS]
Get out of here.
620
00:20:16,684 --> 00:20:17,717
Together.
621
00:20:17,750 --> 00:20:18,884
Who's that?
622
00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:20,450
Oh, that's--
That's Harry Fong.
623
00:20:20,484 --> 00:20:20,740
He's a very good
friend of mine.
624
00:20:20,740 --> 00:20:21,884
He's a very good
friend of mine.
625
00:20:21,917 --> 00:20:23,117
He's a big opera buff.
626
00:20:23,150 --> 00:20:26,550
Enjoy the show,
there, Harry!
627
00:20:26,584 --> 00:20:27,684
Come on. Let's go.
628
00:20:27,717 --> 00:20:28,817
You know what?
629
00:20:28,850 --> 00:20:30,717
Come on,
you gotta let us in.
630
00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:31,950
Not without tickets.
631
00:20:31,984 --> 00:20:33,950
We have tickets,
we just don't have them with us.
632
00:20:33,984 --> 00:20:35,550
Well, that's a problem.
633
00:20:35,584 --> 00:20:36,550
Um, excuse me.
634
00:20:36,584 --> 00:20:37,850
Come right in.
635
00:20:37,884 --> 00:20:39,150
You don't understand.
Someone's after us!
636
00:20:39,184 --> 00:20:40,850
A crazy clown.
He's trying to kill us.
637
00:20:40,884 --> 00:20:43,150
A crazy clown is after you?
Yes.
638
00:20:43,184 --> 00:20:45,317
Oh, that's rich.
639
00:20:45,350 --> 00:20:46,350
Now, clear the entrance
640
00:20:46,384 --> 00:20:47,784
so people with tickets
can get through.
641
00:20:47,817 --> 00:20:49,350
Oh, hey, we're with him.
We're with him!.
642
00:20:49,384 --> 00:20:50,740
Are you guys ready?
Yes, yes!
643
00:20:50,740 --> 00:20:50,784
Are you guys ready?
Yes, yes!
644
00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:52,784
Have you seen George?
We thought he was with you.
645
00:20:52,817 --> 00:20:53,984
Come on,
he's on his own.
646
00:20:54,017 --> 00:20:55,584
Come on!
Okay, here.
647
00:20:57,217 --> 00:20:58,550
Here I come.
648
00:20:59,850 --> 00:21:02,150
These are
great seats, huh?
649
00:21:02,184 --> 00:21:03,350
Yeah.
650
00:21:03,384 --> 00:21:05,684
Boy, some cast, huh?
651
00:21:05,717 --> 00:21:08,050
Pavarotti, Eva Marton.
652
00:21:08,084 --> 00:21:10,284
Eva Marton.
I've heard of her.
653
00:21:10,317 --> 00:21:11,650
Who's she playing?
654
00:21:11,684 --> 00:21:14,317
She's playing
Pagliacci's wife Nedda.
655
00:21:14,350 --> 00:21:15,317
Nedda?
656
00:21:15,350 --> 00:21:16,984
Yeah.
657
00:21:17,017 --> 00:21:18,050
Oh, my God.
658
00:21:18,084 --> 00:21:20,650
Excuse me.
659
00:21:20,684 --> 00:21:20,740
Excuse me.
660
00:21:20,740 --> 00:21:22,150
Excuse me.
661
00:21:22,184 --> 00:21:23,684
Excuse me.
662
00:21:23,717 --> 00:21:25,684
Excuse me.
663
00:21:36,084 --> 00:21:37,650
Susan, what are you
doing here?
664
00:21:37,684 --> 00:21:38,950
My friend's flight
couldn't make it.
665
00:21:38,984 --> 00:21:39,950
Hi.
666
00:21:39,984 --> 00:21:40,950
Where's George?
667
00:21:40,984 --> 00:21:42,650
I got his ticket.
668
00:21:42,684 --> 00:21:43,950
He decided
not to come.
669
00:21:43,984 --> 00:21:45,650
He said he was
uncomfortable.
670
00:21:45,684 --> 00:21:47,684
Uncomfortable?
671
00:21:47,717 --> 00:21:49,284
How do you think I feel?
672
00:21:49,317 --> 00:21:50,740
Hey, let me
ask you something.
673
00:21:50,740 --> 00:21:51,384
Hey, let me
ask you something.
674
00:21:51,417 --> 00:21:53,050
How much did you pay
for that ticket?
675
00:21:53,084 --> 00:21:54,050
One seventy-five.
676
00:21:54,084 --> 00:21:56,850
Oh...
677
00:21:56,884 --> 00:21:59,350
Kramer, who did you
sell your ticket to?
678
00:21:59,384 --> 00:22:03,184
Some nut
in a clown suit.
679
00:22:03,217 --> 00:22:05,350
[APPLAUSE]
680
00:22:09,817 --> 00:22:12,350
I had some friends drag me
to an opera recently.
681
00:22:12,384 --> 00:22:14,850
They all got those little
opera glasses, you know?
682
00:22:14,884 --> 00:22:16,117
Do you really need binoculars?
683
00:22:16,150 --> 00:22:19,284
I mean, how big
do these people have to get
684
00:22:19,317 --> 00:22:20,740
before you can spot them?
685
00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:20,784
before you can spot them?
686
00:22:20,817 --> 00:22:25,550
I mean, these opera kids,
they're going 250, 280, 325.
687
00:22:25,584 --> 00:22:28,184
They're wearing big white
woolly vests with--
688
00:22:28,217 --> 00:22:30,150
The women have, like,
the breastplates,
689
00:22:30,184 --> 00:22:31,550
the bullet hats,
the horns coming out.
690
00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:33,717
If you can't pick
these people out,
691
00:22:33,750 --> 00:22:35,650
forget opera,
think about optometry.
692
00:22:35,684 --> 00:22:38,684
Maybe that's--
Maybe that's more your thing.
693
00:22:47,150 --> 00:22:51,150
[MAN SINGING ARIA
FROM "PAGLIACCI" IN ITALIAN]
47355
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