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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,533 --> 00:00:04,533 It seems the way they've designed the car alarm 2 00:00:04,566 --> 00:00:05,966 is so that the car will behave 3 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,666 as if it was a nervous, hysterical person. 4 00:00:08,700 --> 00:00:11,066 Anyone goes near it, anyone disturbs it... 5 00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:13,000 [MIMICS SIREN WAILING] 6 00:00:13,033 --> 00:00:16,566 Lights flashing on and off, acting all crazy. 7 00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:18,200 Not everyone wants to draw that much attention 8 00:00:18,233 --> 00:00:20,000 to themselves. Wouldn't it be nice if you could 9 00:00:20,033 --> 00:00:22,000 have a car alarm that was a little more subtle? 10 00:00:22,033 --> 00:00:23,133 Maybe just, you know, 11 00:00:23,166 --> 00:00:24,700 somebody tries to break in, and it goes... 12 00:00:24,733 --> 00:00:25,900 [CLEARS THROAT] 13 00:00:25,933 --> 00:00:27,133 [LAUGHTER] 14 00:00:27,166 --> 00:00:28,900 [CLEARS THROAT] 15 00:00:30,200 --> 00:00:32,333 "Excuse me?" 16 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:33,964 I would like a car alarm like that. 17 00:00:40,935 --> 00:00:42,602 Do you believe this? 18 00:00:42,635 --> 00:00:44,335 Car was parked right out front. 19 00:00:44,368 --> 00:00:45,502 Was the alarm on? 20 00:00:45,535 --> 00:00:47,768 I don't know. I guess it was on. 21 00:00:47,802 --> 00:00:49,302 I don't know my alarm sound. 22 00:00:49,335 --> 00:00:52,102 I'm not tuned into it like it's my son. 23 00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,168 I don't understand. 24 00:00:53,202 --> 00:00:55,402 How do these thieves start the car? 25 00:00:55,435 --> 00:00:57,668 They cross the wires or something. 26 00:00:57,702 --> 00:00:58,835 Cross the wires? 27 00:00:58,868 --> 00:01:01,302 I can't even make a pot of spaghetti. 28 00:01:01,335 --> 00:01:02,602 Hey. 29 00:01:02,635 --> 00:01:03,602 They stole my car. 30 00:01:03,635 --> 00:01:04,568 Who did? 31 00:01:04,602 --> 00:01:06,068 They did. 32 00:01:06,102 --> 00:01:06,161 What? Is there more than just one? 33 00:01:06,161 --> 00:01:08,135 What? Is there more than just one? 34 00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:09,835 What should I do? Call the police? 35 00:01:09,868 --> 00:01:13,102 What are they gonna do? 36 00:01:13,135 --> 00:01:14,735 You know, I'd better call the car-phone company, 37 00:01:14,768 --> 00:01:17,568 cancel my service. 38 00:01:17,602 --> 00:01:19,802 Maybe you should call your car phone. 39 00:01:19,835 --> 00:01:21,935 Yeah. 40 00:01:21,968 --> 00:01:24,335 He's probably driving it right now. 41 00:01:24,368 --> 00:01:25,735 Wait a minute. Call the car phone. 42 00:01:25,768 --> 00:01:27,502 See what happens. 43 00:01:27,535 --> 00:01:29,435 Are you serious? Yeah, go ahead. Call. 44 00:01:29,468 --> 00:01:32,735 I don't even know if I remember the number. 45 00:01:32,768 --> 00:01:35,468 What do I say if he picks up? 46 00:01:35,502 --> 00:01:36,161 MAN: Hello. 47 00:01:36,161 --> 00:01:36,902 MAN: Hello. 48 00:01:36,935 --> 00:01:37,902 Hello. 49 00:01:37,935 --> 00:01:40,835 Is this 555-8383? 50 00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:43,002 I have no idea. 51 00:01:43,035 --> 00:01:44,668 Can I ask you a question? 52 00:01:44,702 --> 00:01:45,935 Sure. 53 00:01:45,968 --> 00:01:47,502 Did you steal my car? 54 00:01:47,535 --> 00:01:51,135 Yes, I did. 55 00:01:51,168 --> 00:01:53,468 You did? I did. 56 00:01:53,502 --> 00:01:56,168 But that's my car. I didn't know it was yours. 57 00:01:56,202 --> 00:01:59,068 What are you gonna do with it? 58 00:01:59,102 --> 00:02:01,335 I don't know. Drive around. 59 00:02:01,368 --> 00:02:02,835 Then can I have it back? 60 00:02:02,868 --> 00:02:05,968 Mmmm... No, I'm gonna keep it. 61 00:02:06,002 --> 00:02:06,161 Let me talk to him. Give it, give it, give it. 62 00:02:06,161 --> 00:02:09,268 Let me talk to him. Give it, give it, give it. 63 00:02:09,302 --> 00:02:10,268 Hello. 64 00:02:10,302 --> 00:02:11,635 Yeah, who's this? 65 00:02:11,668 --> 00:02:12,735 Kramer. 66 00:02:12,768 --> 00:02:14,168 Hello, Kramer. 67 00:02:14,202 --> 00:02:17,068 Listen, there's a pair of gloves in the glove compartment. 68 00:02:17,102 --> 00:02:19,835 Wait, hold it. 69 00:02:19,868 --> 00:02:21,002 De, de, de-dee ♪ 70 00:02:21,035 --> 00:02:22,002 Brown ones? 71 00:02:22,035 --> 00:02:23,602 Yeah. 72 00:02:23,635 --> 00:02:25,435 Listen, could you mail those to me? 73 00:02:25,468 --> 00:02:28,635 Or bring them by my building. It's 129 West 81st Street. 74 00:02:28,668 --> 00:02:30,068 129. Okay. 75 00:02:30,102 --> 00:02:32,168 All right, thanks a lot. Here's Jerry. 76 00:02:36,702 --> 00:02:38,335 Gloves. 77 00:02:38,368 --> 00:02:40,935 Hello. Jerry. 78 00:02:40,968 --> 00:02:43,135 Yeah. Let me ask you a question. 79 00:02:43,168 --> 00:02:45,968 How do you cross those wires? 80 00:02:46,002 --> 00:02:48,235 I didn't cross any wires. The keys were in it. 81 00:02:48,268 --> 00:02:50,168 Sid left the keys in the car. 82 00:02:50,202 --> 00:02:53,468 All right, I gotta go. Drive carefully. 83 00:02:53,502 --> 00:02:55,902 Hey, Jerry, when's the last time you had a tune-up? 84 00:02:55,935 --> 00:02:57,802 Because I can't find the owner's-- 85 00:02:57,835 --> 00:02:59,602 Sid left the keys in the car. 86 00:02:59,635 --> 00:03:00,802 Who's Sid? 87 00:03:00,835 --> 00:03:02,235 He's this guy in the neighborhood. 88 00:03:02,268 --> 00:03:03,402 Parks cars on the block. 89 00:03:03,435 --> 00:03:04,435 What do you mean? 90 00:03:04,468 --> 00:03:06,161 He moves them from one side to the other, 91 00:03:06,161 --> 00:03:06,235 He moves them from one side to the other, 92 00:03:06,268 --> 00:03:07,302 so you don't get ticketed. 93 00:03:07,335 --> 00:03:08,602 You pay him for that? 94 00:03:08,635 --> 00:03:10,268 Yeah. Like 50 bucks a month. 95 00:03:10,302 --> 00:03:11,835 How many people does he do that for? 96 00:03:11,868 --> 00:03:13,568 The whole block, 40, 50 cars. 97 00:03:13,602 --> 00:03:15,568 He only works three hours a day. 98 00:03:15,602 --> 00:03:17,835 He makes a fortune. 99 00:03:17,868 --> 00:03:19,835 He's been doing that for years, right, Jerry? 100 00:03:19,868 --> 00:03:21,602 Could anybody do that? 101 00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:22,935 Hey, Sid, what happened? 102 00:03:22,968 --> 00:03:24,768 I'm sorry, Jerry. 103 00:03:24,802 --> 00:03:26,935 Maybe I'm getting too old for this stuff. 104 00:03:26,968 --> 00:03:28,768 You left the keys in the car? 105 00:03:28,802 --> 00:03:30,135 Well, you know. 106 00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:31,968 They're making that Woody Allen movie on the block 107 00:03:32,002 --> 00:03:34,635 and all those people and trucks everywhere 108 00:03:34,668 --> 00:03:36,161 and when I saw him, I must've got a little distracted. 109 00:03:36,161 --> 00:03:37,102 and when I saw him, I must've got a little distracted. 110 00:03:37,135 --> 00:03:38,435 You know I'm in that movie. 111 00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:39,435 You're what? 112 00:03:39,468 --> 00:03:40,568 Yeah, I'm an extra. 113 00:03:40,602 --> 00:03:41,768 How'd you get that? 114 00:03:41,802 --> 00:03:43,402 Well, I was just watching them film yesterday, 115 00:03:43,435 --> 00:03:45,335 and some guy just asked me. 116 00:03:45,368 --> 00:03:46,902 Right out of the clear blue sky? 117 00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:48,902 Clear blue sky. 118 00:03:48,935 --> 00:03:50,068 Why didn't they ask me? 119 00:03:50,102 --> 00:03:52,135 I got a quality. 120 00:03:52,168 --> 00:03:54,902 Hey, Jerry, you got insurance, right? 121 00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:58,102 Yeah, but no car. I'll have to rent one. 122 00:03:58,135 --> 00:04:00,235 I'm going to visit my sister in Virginia next Wednesday 123 00:04:00,268 --> 00:04:02,235 for a week, so I can't park it. 124 00:04:02,268 --> 00:04:03,235 This Wednesday? 125 00:04:03,268 --> 00:04:04,235 No, next Wednesday. 126 00:04:04,268 --> 00:04:05,568 Week after this Wednesday. 127 00:04:05,602 --> 00:04:06,161 But the Wednesday two days from now 128 00:04:06,161 --> 00:04:07,668 But the Wednesday two days from now 129 00:04:07,702 --> 00:04:09,168 is the next Wednesday. 130 00:04:09,202 --> 00:04:10,602 If I meant this Wednesday, 131 00:04:10,635 --> 00:04:12,235 I would've said, "this Wednesday." 132 00:04:12,268 --> 00:04:14,002 It's the week after this Wednesday. 133 00:04:17,368 --> 00:04:20,002 Sid, who's gonna move the cars while you're away? 134 00:04:20,035 --> 00:04:22,735 Whoever wants to move them. What do I care who moves them? 135 00:04:22,768 --> 00:04:24,568 They can move themselves if they want. 136 00:04:24,602 --> 00:04:26,835 Maybe I could move them until you get back. 137 00:04:26,868 --> 00:04:29,268 What's a young man like you want to move cars for? 138 00:04:29,302 --> 00:04:30,902 You don't work? 139 00:04:30,935 --> 00:04:32,835 I'm in a transition phase right now. 140 00:04:32,868 --> 00:04:36,161 Well, if you want to move the cars, move the cars. 141 00:04:36,161 --> 00:04:36,268 Well, if you want to move the cars, move the cars. 142 00:04:36,302 --> 00:04:38,268 Just don't forget to take the keys out. That's all 143 00:04:38,302 --> 00:04:39,668 All right. 144 00:04:39,702 --> 00:04:41,035 [PHONE RINGS] 145 00:04:42,768 --> 00:04:44,502 Hello. 146 00:04:44,535 --> 00:04:46,768 Yeah, the defroster's the one on the bottom. 147 00:04:46,802 --> 00:04:49,968 Just slide it all the way over. 148 00:04:50,002 --> 00:04:51,468 You're welcome. 149 00:04:51,502 --> 00:04:52,968 I'm in awe of his intellect. 150 00:04:53,002 --> 00:04:54,435 When he talks, it sounds like 151 00:04:54,468 --> 00:04:56,502 he's reading from one of his novels. 152 00:04:56,535 --> 00:04:58,335 Owen March. I never heard of him. 153 00:04:58,368 --> 00:04:59,968 Well, he's not a baseball player. 154 00:05:00,002 --> 00:05:01,835 Yeah, that's true. 155 00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:03,935 Well, so it sounds like it's going pretty good. 156 00:05:03,968 --> 00:05:06,161 Yeah. Well, there is one little problem. 157 00:05:06,161 --> 00:05:06,402 Yeah. Well, there is one little problem. 158 00:05:06,435 --> 00:05:09,135 What's that? He's 66 years old. 159 00:05:09,168 --> 00:05:11,568 WOMAN: Next, please. 160 00:05:11,602 --> 00:05:15,235 Go. Go. She-- Go. Come on. 161 00:05:15,268 --> 00:05:17,268 Can I help you? Name, please. 162 00:05:17,302 --> 00:05:20,468 Uh, Seinfeld. I made a reservation for a midsize, 163 00:05:20,502 --> 00:05:23,002 and she's a small. 164 00:05:24,368 --> 00:05:25,335 I'm kidding around, of course. 165 00:05:25,368 --> 00:05:26,902 Yes. 166 00:05:26,935 --> 00:05:28,735 Okay, let's see here. 167 00:05:28,768 --> 00:05:30,968 Sixty-six years old? 168 00:05:31,002 --> 00:05:33,268 Yeah, well, he's in perfect health. 169 00:05:33,302 --> 00:05:36,161 He works out. He's vibrant. You'd really like him. 170 00:05:36,161 --> 00:05:36,235 He works out. He's vibrant. You'd really like him. 171 00:05:36,268 --> 00:05:37,635 Why do people always say that? 172 00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:40,468 I hate everybody. Why would I like him? 173 00:05:40,502 --> 00:05:41,568 So, what do you think? 174 00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:43,135 Could you go out with a 66-year-old woman? 175 00:05:43,168 --> 00:05:48,768 Well, I'll tell you, she would have to be really vibrant. 176 00:05:48,802 --> 00:05:52,168 So vibrant she'd be spinning. 177 00:05:52,202 --> 00:05:53,268 I'm sorry. 178 00:05:53,302 --> 00:05:55,335 We have no midsize available at the moment. 179 00:05:55,368 --> 00:05:56,768 I don't understand. I made a reservation. 180 00:05:56,802 --> 00:05:57,968 Do you have my reservation? 181 00:05:58,002 --> 00:06:00,768 Yes, we do. Unfortunately, we ran out of cars. 182 00:06:00,802 --> 00:06:04,235 But the reservation keeps the car here. 183 00:06:04,268 --> 00:06:05,768 That's why you have the reservation. 184 00:06:05,802 --> 00:06:06,161 I know why we have reservations. 185 00:06:06,161 --> 00:06:08,402 I know why we have reservations. 186 00:06:08,435 --> 00:06:10,468 I don't think you do. 187 00:06:12,602 --> 00:06:16,835 If you did, I'd have a car. 188 00:06:16,868 --> 00:06:18,935 See, you know how to take the reservation. 189 00:06:18,968 --> 00:06:22,602 You just don't know how to hold the reservation. 190 00:06:22,635 --> 00:06:25,135 And that's really the most important part 191 00:06:25,168 --> 00:06:27,768 of the reservation, the holding. 192 00:06:27,802 --> 00:06:31,502 Anybody can just take them. 193 00:06:31,535 --> 00:06:35,068 Let me speak with my supervisor. 194 00:06:35,102 --> 00:06:36,161 Well, here we go. 195 00:06:36,161 --> 00:06:37,235 Well, here we go. 196 00:06:37,268 --> 00:06:39,268 The supervisor. 197 00:06:39,302 --> 00:06:40,502 Know what she's saying over there? 198 00:06:40,535 --> 00:06:41,502 What? 199 00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:42,735 "Hey, Marge, see those two people? 200 00:06:42,768 --> 00:06:44,568 "They think I'm talking to you. 201 00:06:44,602 --> 00:06:46,168 "So you pretend like you're talking to me. 202 00:06:46,202 --> 00:06:48,168 Okay, now you start talking." 203 00:06:48,202 --> 00:06:50,402 "You mean like this? So it looks like I'm saying something, 204 00:06:50,435 --> 00:06:51,968 but I'm not really saying anything at all?" 205 00:06:52,002 --> 00:06:54,568 "Okay. Now you say something else, and they won't yell at me, 206 00:06:54,602 --> 00:06:56,768 because they thought I was checking with you." 207 00:06:56,802 --> 00:06:59,468 "Okay, I think. I think that's enough. See you later." 208 00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:02,402 I'm sorry. My supervisor says there's nothing we can do. 209 00:07:02,435 --> 00:07:05,835 Yeah, it looked like you were in a real conversation over there. 210 00:07:05,868 --> 00:07:06,161 But we do have a compact if you would like that. 211 00:07:06,161 --> 00:07:08,468 But we do have a compact if you would like that. 212 00:07:08,502 --> 00:07:10,668 Fine. All right. 213 00:07:10,702 --> 00:07:14,502 Well, we have a blue Ford Escort for you, Mr. Seinfeld. 214 00:07:14,535 --> 00:07:15,668 Would you like insurance? 215 00:07:15,702 --> 00:07:17,502 Yeah, you better give me the insurance, 216 00:07:17,535 --> 00:07:21,868 because I am gonna beat the hell out of this thing. 217 00:07:24,135 --> 00:07:27,502 Please fill this out. 218 00:07:27,535 --> 00:07:28,668 So, what do you think? 219 00:07:28,702 --> 00:07:30,335 Do you think I'm making a big mistake? 220 00:07:30,368 --> 00:07:32,635 Hey, if you enjoy being with him, that's what's important. 221 00:07:32,668 --> 00:07:33,635 I love being with him. 222 00:07:33,668 --> 00:07:36,161 I mean, I like being with him. 223 00:07:36,161 --> 00:07:37,168 I mean, I like being with him. 224 00:07:37,202 --> 00:07:39,535 It's okay being with him. 225 00:07:41,102 --> 00:07:42,468 I just don't enjoy being with him. 226 00:07:42,502 --> 00:07:43,935 Well, that's what's important. 227 00:07:43,968 --> 00:07:46,068 I'm meeting him for lunch at Chadway's, around the corner. 228 00:07:46,102 --> 00:07:48,502 Do I have to break up with him face to face, 229 00:07:48,535 --> 00:07:50,302 or can I just do it over the phone? 230 00:07:50,335 --> 00:07:51,668 How many times have you been out? 231 00:07:51,702 --> 00:07:52,668 Seven. 232 00:07:52,702 --> 00:07:54,335 Face to face. 233 00:07:54,368 --> 00:07:56,835 Seven dates is a face-to-face breakup? 234 00:07:56,868 --> 00:08:00,968 If it was six, I could've let you go. 235 00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:04,335 But seven, I'm afraid, is over the limit. 236 00:08:04,368 --> 00:08:06,161 Unless, of course, there was no sex. 237 00:08:06,161 --> 00:08:06,168 Unless, of course, there was no sex. 238 00:08:06,202 --> 00:08:07,768 [HORNS HONKING, CAR ALARMS WAILING OUTSIDE] 239 00:08:07,802 --> 00:08:08,968 Hmm. 240 00:08:12,168 --> 00:08:13,602 How's the pasta over there? 241 00:08:15,535 --> 00:08:17,668 Hey-- Whoa! Whoa! 242 00:08:17,702 --> 00:08:19,235 What is going on out there? 243 00:08:19,268 --> 00:08:20,802 I need, like, a bucket of water. 244 00:08:20,835 --> 00:08:21,968 I got a car overheating. 245 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,668 I got an alarm that won't go off. 246 00:08:23,702 --> 00:08:26,102 I'm pressing one. I'm pressing two. Nothing. 247 00:08:26,135 --> 00:08:28,302 What do I do? Help me. Help me. 248 00:08:29,602 --> 00:08:30,935 [KEYS JANGLE] 249 00:08:35,435 --> 00:08:36,161 Hey you know they were supposed 250 00:08:36,161 --> 00:08:36,968 Hey you know they were supposed 251 00:08:37,002 --> 00:08:38,435 to do my scene today. 252 00:08:38,468 --> 00:08:39,935 Today? Yeah. 253 00:08:39,968 --> 00:08:41,735 You know they told me that they wanted me 254 00:08:41,768 --> 00:08:43,768 to walk down the block carrying this bag of groceries. 255 00:08:43,802 --> 00:08:48,102 So I start to walk, and I trip. And the grocery bag goes flying 256 00:08:48,135 --> 00:08:50,502 and Woody-- Woody starts laughing. 257 00:08:50,535 --> 00:08:51,935 He was laughing? 258 00:08:51,968 --> 00:08:53,135 Oh, yeah. He was drinking something. 259 00:08:53,168 --> 00:08:54,768 It started to come out of his nose. 260 00:08:54,802 --> 00:08:55,768 So then what? 261 00:08:55,802 --> 00:08:57,602 I got a line in the movie! 262 00:08:57,635 --> 00:08:59,135 Get out! 263 00:08:59,168 --> 00:09:00,268 That's great. 264 00:09:00,302 --> 00:09:02,102 Ha-ha! 265 00:09:02,135 --> 00:09:04,235 You got a line in a Woody Allen movie? 266 00:09:04,268 --> 00:09:05,768 Pretty good, huh? 267 00:09:05,802 --> 00:09:06,161 You're in the movie? 268 00:09:06,161 --> 00:09:06,968 You're in the movie? 269 00:09:08,935 --> 00:09:10,102 Is he in the scene? 270 00:09:10,135 --> 00:09:11,935 Oh yeah, yeah. It's me and him. 271 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:14,268 I might have a whole new career on my hands, huh? 272 00:09:14,302 --> 00:09:16,768 You mean "a career." 273 00:09:19,302 --> 00:09:21,168 So was Mia Farrow there? 274 00:09:21,202 --> 00:09:22,268 I didn't see him. 275 00:09:24,768 --> 00:09:26,002 What's your line? 276 00:09:26,035 --> 00:09:28,502 Well, okay, I'm there with Woody, you know. 277 00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:30,402 I'm at this bar, and, uh, I'm sit-- 278 00:09:30,435 --> 00:09:32,835 You know it's Woody Allen. Did I mention that? 279 00:09:32,868 --> 00:09:34,402 We got it. We got it. 280 00:09:34,435 --> 00:09:35,735 And I'm sitting there with Woody, 281 00:09:35,768 --> 00:09:36,161 and I say-- I turn to him and I go, 282 00:09:36,161 --> 00:09:37,768 and I say-- I turn to him and I go, 283 00:09:37,802 --> 00:09:39,835 "Boy, these pretzels are making me thirsty." 284 00:09:42,268 --> 00:09:44,735 Is that how you're gonna say it? 285 00:09:44,768 --> 00:09:47,135 No, no. I'm working on it. 286 00:09:47,768 --> 00:09:49,402 Do it like this. 287 00:09:49,435 --> 00:09:52,235 "These pretzels are making me thirsty" 288 00:09:52,268 --> 00:09:53,302 No. 289 00:09:53,335 --> 00:09:56,768 "These pretzels are making me thirsty." 290 00:09:56,802 --> 00:09:58,502 No, no. See, that's no good. 291 00:09:58,535 --> 00:09:59,935 See, you don't know how to act. 292 00:10:01,102 --> 00:10:02,668 "These pretzels... 293 00:10:04,202 --> 00:10:05,968 are making me thirsty!" 294 00:10:09,635 --> 00:10:11,002 Oh, that was no good? 295 00:10:11,035 --> 00:10:13,135 I didn't say anything. 296 00:10:13,168 --> 00:10:15,668 All right, I'm gonna go break up with Owen. 297 00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:17,435 What was wrong with that? 298 00:10:17,468 --> 00:10:19,935 I had a different interpretation. 299 00:10:19,968 --> 00:10:22,335 Do you know anything about this pretzel guy? 300 00:10:22,368 --> 00:10:24,402 Maybe he's been in the bar a really long time 301 00:10:24,435 --> 00:10:26,835 and he's really depressed because he has no job, 302 00:10:26,868 --> 00:10:27,968 and no woman 303 00:10:28,002 --> 00:10:30,068 and he's parking cars for a living! 304 00:10:30,102 --> 00:10:33,235 All right! All right! Shut up! Shut up! 305 00:10:33,268 --> 00:10:36,161 I hear you! I'm coming down! 306 00:10:36,161 --> 00:10:36,668 I hear you! I'm coming down! 307 00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:38,668 These pretzels are making me thirsty! 308 00:10:39,835 --> 00:10:41,402 Yeah! 309 00:10:41,435 --> 00:10:44,268 [HONKING, WAILING CONTINUE OUTSIDE] 310 00:10:44,302 --> 00:10:47,102 [LOUD KNOCKING] 311 00:10:47,135 --> 00:10:49,802 Oh, my God. 312 00:10:49,835 --> 00:10:51,635 Call an ambulance. 313 00:10:51,668 --> 00:10:55,502 Boy, he took it hard. 314 00:10:55,535 --> 00:10:57,635 ELAINE: We were walking down the block 315 00:10:57,668 --> 00:11:00,235 right by your house, and I was about to break up with him, 316 00:11:00,268 --> 00:11:02,302 and then all of a sudden, he started to twitch. 317 00:11:02,335 --> 00:11:05,268 Yes, I need an ambulance at 129 West 81st Street, Apartment 5A. 318 00:11:05,302 --> 00:11:06,161 Tell them to hurry. Hurry! 319 00:11:06,161 --> 00:11:06,602 Tell them to hurry. Hurry! 320 00:11:06,635 --> 00:11:09,802 It's an ambulance. 321 00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:11,468 I don't know, but he's unconscious. 322 00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,768 These pretzels are making me thirsty! 323 00:11:17,668 --> 00:11:19,902 These pretzels are making me thirsty! 324 00:11:19,935 --> 00:11:21,468 Kramer. 325 00:11:21,502 --> 00:11:22,502 What happened here? 326 00:11:22,535 --> 00:11:23,935 I don't know. What should we do? 327 00:11:23,968 --> 00:11:25,935 We called an ambulance. Does anyone know first aid? 328 00:11:25,968 --> 00:11:27,602 Do something with the extremities. 329 00:11:27,635 --> 00:11:29,568 What extremities? What's an extremity? 330 00:11:29,602 --> 00:11:31,668 You raise the feet, get blood to the head. 331 00:11:31,702 --> 00:11:34,102 You raise the head, get blood to the feet. 332 00:11:34,135 --> 00:11:35,435 Okay, what about a cold compress? 333 00:11:35,468 --> 00:11:36,161 They always do that. 334 00:11:36,161 --> 00:11:36,602 They always do that. 335 00:11:36,635 --> 00:11:37,602 I don't have a washcloth. 336 00:11:37,635 --> 00:11:38,668 Use a paper towel. 337 00:11:38,702 --> 00:11:40,468 You can't put a paper towel on his head. 338 00:11:40,502 --> 00:11:41,502 What about a big sponge? 339 00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:43,902 How you gonna hold it on? Use a belt. 340 00:11:43,935 --> 00:11:45,402 No, no, no. That'll-- 341 00:11:45,435 --> 00:11:47,235 It'll drip all over him. 342 00:11:47,268 --> 00:11:48,568 Should we walk him around? 343 00:11:48,602 --> 00:11:49,668 I've seen them do that. 344 00:11:49,702 --> 00:11:50,935 No, that's for a drug overdose. 345 00:11:50,968 --> 00:11:52,435 Maybe that's what he's got. 346 00:11:52,468 --> 00:11:53,802 No, I just had lunch with him. 347 00:11:53,835 --> 00:11:55,468 He didn't leave the table. 348 00:11:55,502 --> 00:11:58,168 Well, he could've dropped acid when you weren't looking. 349 00:11:58,202 --> 00:12:01,268 He is not a drug addict. 350 00:12:01,302 --> 00:12:02,435 Hey, maybe he's diabetic. 351 00:12:02,468 --> 00:12:04,235 He might just need a cookie or something. 352 00:12:04,268 --> 00:12:05,235 A cookie! 353 00:12:05,268 --> 00:12:06,161 Can you give him a cookie? 354 00:12:06,161 --> 00:12:06,402 Can you give him a cookie? 355 00:12:06,435 --> 00:12:08,068 How's he gonna chew it? 356 00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:09,835 We'll move his teeth. It happened to my uncle. 357 00:12:09,868 --> 00:12:15,235 The sugar revived him. 358 00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:17,568 Careful, you're getting crumbs all over him. 359 00:12:17,602 --> 00:12:18,802 I've got him chewing, 360 00:12:18,835 --> 00:12:20,735 but I don't think he's gonna swallow. 361 00:12:20,768 --> 00:12:24,068 Let's put a few cookies in a blender and he could drink it. 362 00:12:24,102 --> 00:12:25,235 Cookies don't liquefy. 363 00:12:25,268 --> 00:12:27,235 Yes they do. You can liquefy a cookie. 364 00:12:27,268 --> 00:12:28,235 I'll get the blender. 365 00:12:28,268 --> 00:12:29,602 I don't have a blender. 366 00:12:29,635 --> 00:12:30,835 You've got a blender. 367 00:12:30,868 --> 00:12:32,435 I'd know if I had a blender. 368 00:12:32,468 --> 00:12:34,768 Where is the ambulance?! 369 00:12:34,802 --> 00:12:36,161 [TIRES SCREECHING] 370 00:12:36,161 --> 00:12:36,502 [TIRES SCREECHING] 371 00:12:36,535 --> 00:12:39,702 [THUD, GLASS SHATTERS] 372 00:12:43,581 --> 00:12:44,881 Hello, yes. I called for an ambulance 373 00:12:44,914 --> 00:12:46,147 like 35 minutes ago. 374 00:12:46,181 --> 00:12:48,314 I can't believe what's going on out here. 375 00:12:48,347 --> 00:12:50,481 This is an emergency. What's taking so long? 376 00:12:50,514 --> 00:12:51,647 [INTERCOM BUZZING] 377 00:12:51,681 --> 00:12:53,447 Wait a second. Maybe that's them. 378 00:12:53,481 --> 00:12:54,547 Hello. 379 00:12:54,581 --> 00:12:55,614 MAN: Paramedics. 380 00:12:55,647 --> 00:12:58,414 Come on up. Okay, they're here. 381 00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:01,681 He seems to be breathing. 382 00:13:05,014 --> 00:13:06,647 You know, I got to tell you, 383 00:13:06,681 --> 00:13:08,447 he's a pretty good-looking guy. 384 00:13:08,481 --> 00:13:09,881 I know. 385 00:13:09,914 --> 00:13:11,081 Those eyebrows could use a trimming. 386 00:13:11,114 --> 00:13:11,970 You ever mention that to him? 387 00:13:11,970 --> 00:13:12,747 You ever mention that to him? 388 00:13:12,781 --> 00:13:14,647 Almost. 389 00:13:14,681 --> 00:13:15,814 I mean, because, come on, 390 00:13:15,847 --> 00:13:17,447 they're running wild there. 391 00:13:17,481 --> 00:13:19,047 It's not an easy thing to bring up. 392 00:13:19,081 --> 00:13:20,947 Yeah, that's true. 393 00:13:20,981 --> 00:13:23,381 You should see his bathrobe, man. It's all silk. 394 00:13:23,414 --> 00:13:24,947 Yeah. Does he wear slippers? 395 00:13:24,981 --> 00:13:26,281 I bet he wears slippers. 396 00:13:26,314 --> 00:13:28,281 He does. How'd you know that? 397 00:13:28,314 --> 00:13:29,747 I could tell. 398 00:13:31,614 --> 00:13:33,547 What happened? What took you so long? 399 00:13:33,581 --> 00:13:35,814 We got here 20 minutes ago, but we couldn't move. 400 00:13:35,847 --> 00:13:37,214 The whole intersection is gridlocked. 401 00:13:37,247 --> 00:13:38,914 I've never seen anything like it. 402 00:13:38,947 --> 00:13:40,281 Finally we make the turn, 403 00:13:40,314 --> 00:13:41,970 and this guy who was running around triple-parking cars 404 00:13:41,970 --> 00:13:42,614 and this guy who was running around triple-parking cars 405 00:13:42,647 --> 00:13:44,414 slammed into us with a blue Escort. 406 00:13:44,947 --> 00:13:46,414 Blue Escort? 407 00:13:46,447 --> 00:13:47,581 That's my rent-a-car! 408 00:13:47,614 --> 00:13:48,914 GEORGE: Oh, man. 409 00:13:48,947 --> 00:13:50,447 What happened to the car? 410 00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:53,447 I'm sorry. You don't know what's going on out there! 411 00:13:53,481 --> 00:13:54,447 Who's he? 412 00:13:54,481 --> 00:13:56,114 This guy I'm seeing. 413 00:13:56,147 --> 00:13:57,647 GEORGE: What happened? We don't know. 414 00:13:57,681 --> 00:13:59,147 Who put cookies in his mouth? 415 00:14:00,414 --> 00:14:01,781 Cookies? Cookies? 416 00:14:01,814 --> 00:14:04,114 You're not supposed to do that. 417 00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:05,481 JERRY: So how'd you hit the car? 418 00:14:05,514 --> 00:14:07,047 I was moving it across the street. 419 00:14:07,081 --> 00:14:08,614 I looked up and I saw Woody Allen. 420 00:14:08,647 --> 00:14:10,214 I got all distracted. 421 00:14:10,247 --> 00:14:11,781 It's not even my car. It's a rental. 422 00:14:11,814 --> 00:14:11,970 What are you doing out there? 423 00:14:11,970 --> 00:14:13,981 What are you doing out there? 424 00:14:14,014 --> 00:14:16,381 You're holding up the production of the movie. 425 00:14:16,414 --> 00:14:18,714 We can't shoot, and Woody, he's really mad at you. 426 00:14:18,747 --> 00:14:21,081 Woody mentioned me? What did he say? 427 00:14:21,114 --> 00:14:25,081 He said, "Who's the moron who's got the street all screwed up?" 428 00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,114 Should I apologize to Woody? 429 00:14:28,281 --> 00:14:30,047 All right, I'll tell you what. 430 00:14:30,081 --> 00:14:33,747 Next time I talk to him, maybe I'll bring it up. 431 00:14:33,781 --> 00:14:36,414 I'll feel him out. 432 00:14:36,447 --> 00:14:39,947 What do you think first aid was like hundreds of years ago? 433 00:14:39,981 --> 00:14:41,970 You know, I mean, they had no medicine, no drugs 434 00:14:41,970 --> 00:14:43,447 You know, I mean, they had no medicine, no drugs 435 00:14:43,481 --> 00:14:44,647 no technology, no equipment. 436 00:14:44,681 --> 00:14:46,414 Basically, they were there first. 437 00:14:46,447 --> 00:14:49,447 That was it. That was the whole first aid. They sit with you. 438 00:14:49,481 --> 00:14:51,714 That's all they could do. "Can you help me?" 439 00:14:51,747 --> 00:14:55,047 "No, we can't help you, but we were the first ones here. 440 00:14:55,081 --> 00:14:57,147 "Did you see our truck? 'First aid.' That's our motto. 441 00:14:57,181 --> 00:14:58,481 [LAUGHTER] 442 00:14:58,514 --> 00:15:00,147 We show up before anybody." 443 00:15:00,181 --> 00:15:01,147 You didn't tell me 444 00:15:01,181 --> 00:15:02,414 you didn't know how to drive. 445 00:15:02,447 --> 00:15:03,714 Should've mentioned that. 446 00:15:03,747 --> 00:15:05,714 Well, I know how to drive. 447 00:15:05,747 --> 00:15:07,814 Then how did all those cars get damaged? 448 00:15:07,847 --> 00:15:11,381 Why are people calling me up, screaming on the phone? 449 00:15:11,414 --> 00:15:11,970 Most of them canceled out on me. 450 00:15:11,970 --> 00:15:12,914 Most of them canceled out on me. 451 00:15:12,947 --> 00:15:14,481 Can I get anybody anything? 452 00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,714 Moving cars from one side of the street to the other 453 00:15:16,747 --> 00:15:19,947 don't take no more sense than putting on a pair of pants. 454 00:15:19,981 --> 00:15:22,781 My question to you is: Who's putting your pants on? 455 00:15:22,814 --> 00:15:26,381 I put my pants on, Sid. 456 00:15:26,414 --> 00:15:27,581 I don't believe you. 457 00:15:27,614 --> 00:15:29,814 You can put your pants on, you can move those cars. 458 00:15:29,847 --> 00:15:33,281 I don't want to get into a big dispute about the pants. 459 00:15:33,314 --> 00:15:35,481 Who's gonna send money to my sister in Virginia? 460 00:15:35,514 --> 00:15:37,481 Her little boy needs surgery on his foot. 461 00:15:37,514 --> 00:15:39,314 Now he gonna be walking around with a limp, 462 00:15:39,347 --> 00:15:41,970 because you can't park a few cars. 463 00:15:41,970 --> 00:15:42,314 because you can't park a few cars. 464 00:15:42,347 --> 00:15:44,314 Maybe I could call my father. 465 00:15:44,347 --> 00:15:47,547 Hey, you seen the paper yet? 466 00:15:47,581 --> 00:15:49,481 Interestingly enough, no, 467 00:15:49,514 --> 00:15:51,314 inasmuch as it is my paper. 468 00:15:51,347 --> 00:15:52,647 Look there. 469 00:15:52,681 --> 00:15:54,414 There's an article about that writer. 470 00:15:54,447 --> 00:15:56,714 "Owen March, prominent author and essayist, 471 00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:58,381 "suffered a stroke yesterday 472 00:15:58,414 --> 00:16:00,914 in the Upper West Side apartment of a friend." 473 00:16:00,947 --> 00:16:03,647 That's the guy that was here. You're the friend. 474 00:16:03,681 --> 00:16:07,614 Thanks. "The extent of the damage would've been 475 00:16:07,647 --> 00:16:11,970 far less severe had paramedics been able to reach him sooner." 476 00:16:11,970 --> 00:16:12,814 far less severe had paramedics been able to reach him sooner." 477 00:16:12,847 --> 00:16:14,814 Oh, Lord. 478 00:16:14,847 --> 00:16:16,114 "The commotion also delayed production 479 00:16:16,147 --> 00:16:19,114 "of a Woody Allen movie that was shooting up the block. 480 00:16:19,147 --> 00:16:21,647 "A spokeswoman for the legendary filmmaker 481 00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:24,447 "said that Mr. Allen was extremely agitated 482 00:16:24,481 --> 00:16:27,247 "and wondered if his days of shooting movies in New York 483 00:16:27,281 --> 00:16:29,247 were over." 484 00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:30,814 Five seconds. 485 00:16:30,847 --> 00:16:34,614 Jerry, I was five seconds away from breaking up with him. 486 00:16:34,647 --> 00:16:37,914 Five seconds! The next words out of my mouth were, 487 00:16:37,947 --> 00:16:39,647 "Owen, it's over." 488 00:16:39,681 --> 00:16:40,814 Can he communicate? 489 00:16:40,847 --> 00:16:41,970 Yeah. Well, he nods. 490 00:16:41,970 --> 00:16:43,381 Yeah. Well, he nods. 491 00:16:43,414 --> 00:16:45,214 And I think he understands me. 492 00:16:45,247 --> 00:16:47,481 He seems to enjoy it when I read to him. 493 00:16:47,514 --> 00:16:49,081 Phew. 494 00:16:49,114 --> 00:16:50,314 All right, she's free. 495 00:16:53,647 --> 00:16:56,247 Hi, I called before. My car got smashed. 496 00:16:56,281 --> 00:16:57,414 So, listen, what should I do? 497 00:16:57,447 --> 00:16:59,247 I mean, if I break up with him now, 498 00:16:59,281 --> 00:17:01,914 it'll look like I'm abandoning him because of his condition. 499 00:17:01,947 --> 00:17:03,814 I'll be ostracized from the community. 500 00:17:03,847 --> 00:17:06,147 What community? There's a community? 501 00:17:06,181 --> 00:17:07,714 Of course there's a community. 502 00:17:07,747 --> 00:17:10,581 All these years, I'm living in a community, I had no idea. 503 00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:11,970 Sir, the estimate on the damage to your car is 2866 dollars. 504 00:17:11,970 --> 00:17:15,614 Sir, the estimate on the damage to your car is 2866 dollars. 505 00:17:15,647 --> 00:17:18,047 Ooh, well, I got the insurance and everything, so-- 506 00:17:18,081 --> 00:17:20,247 Yes. In your report, you said you were not the driver 507 00:17:20,281 --> 00:17:21,414 at the time of the accident. 508 00:17:21,447 --> 00:17:23,714 That is right. It was somebody else. 509 00:17:23,747 --> 00:17:25,647 All right, well, sir, you're only covered 510 00:17:25,681 --> 00:17:27,114 for when you're driving the car. 511 00:17:27,147 --> 00:17:30,447 Mm-hm. What's that? 512 00:17:30,481 --> 00:17:32,881 You're not covered for other drivers. 513 00:17:32,914 --> 00:17:34,081 Other drivers? Mm-hm. 514 00:17:34,114 --> 00:17:35,714 Your whole business is based on other drivers. 515 00:17:35,747 --> 00:17:37,247 It's a rented car. 516 00:17:37,281 --> 00:17:39,814 That's who's driving it. Other drivers. 517 00:17:39,847 --> 00:17:41,714 Doesn't my credit card cover me or something? 518 00:17:41,747 --> 00:17:41,970 Not that particular one. 519 00:17:41,970 --> 00:17:43,481 Not that particular one. 520 00:17:43,514 --> 00:17:44,714 I got a hundred cards. 521 00:17:44,747 --> 00:17:47,581 Here, here. Pick a card. Take any card you want. 522 00:17:47,614 --> 00:17:49,381 Go ahead. Whichever one. I don't care. 523 00:17:49,414 --> 00:17:52,381 Really, sir, if you had read the rental agreement-- 524 00:17:52,414 --> 00:17:53,981 Did you see the size of that document? 525 00:17:54,014 --> 00:17:55,547 It's like the Declaration of Independence. 526 00:17:55,581 --> 00:17:57,547 Who's gonna read that? 527 00:17:57,581 --> 00:17:58,914 Mr. Seinfeld, as it stands right now, 528 00:17:58,947 --> 00:18:00,747 you are not covered for that damage 529 00:18:00,781 --> 00:18:04,914 and there is absolutely nothing that can be done about that. 530 00:18:04,947 --> 00:18:08,947 These pretzels are making me thirsty. 531 00:18:15,647 --> 00:18:20,081 Ahhh. It's good, isn't it? 532 00:18:20,114 --> 00:18:23,047 Yankee bean. 533 00:18:23,081 --> 00:18:25,647 Why "Yankee" bean, huh? 534 00:18:25,681 --> 00:18:29,081 Don't they have beans in the South? 535 00:18:29,114 --> 00:18:32,414 I mean, if you order Yankee bean in the South, are they offended? 536 00:18:32,447 --> 00:18:33,481 Huh? 537 00:18:33,514 --> 00:18:35,814 [LAUGHS] 538 00:18:35,847 --> 00:18:39,547 ♪ Yankee bean Yankee bean ♪ 539 00:18:39,581 --> 00:18:41,970 ♪ I like my Yankee ♪ 540 00:18:41,970 --> 00:18:43,881 ♪ I like my Yankee ♪ 541 00:18:43,914 --> 00:18:46,147 ♪ Bean ♪ 542 00:18:47,514 --> 00:18:48,447 [SIGHS] 543 00:18:51,581 --> 00:18:53,147 [CLEARS THROAT] 544 00:18:54,814 --> 00:18:56,647 Owen... 545 00:19:01,747 --> 00:19:05,047 I think we have to talk. 546 00:19:05,081 --> 00:19:08,281 I mean, uh, I have to talk. 547 00:19:08,314 --> 00:19:11,970 It would be nice if we could, but, you know, whatever. 548 00:19:11,970 --> 00:19:12,314 It would be nice if we could, but, you know, whatever. 549 00:19:13,814 --> 00:19:15,714 Um... 550 00:19:15,747 --> 00:19:17,747 Don't get me wrong. 551 00:19:17,781 --> 00:19:21,714 I like coming here and feeding you 552 00:19:21,747 --> 00:19:25,447 and cleaning a little, and paying your bills. 553 00:19:25,481 --> 00:19:27,214 I mean, that's good stuff. 554 00:19:27,247 --> 00:19:28,881 Good stuff. 555 00:19:28,914 --> 00:19:30,981 [CLEARS THROAT] 556 00:19:31,014 --> 00:19:35,181 I have a wonderful time when I'm with you. Wonderful! 557 00:19:36,614 --> 00:19:40,214 But at this point in my life, I'm not really sure 558 00:19:40,247 --> 00:19:41,970 that I'm ready to make a commitment to one person. 559 00:19:41,970 --> 00:19:45,047 that I'm ready to make a commitment to one person. 560 00:19:45,081 --> 00:19:48,581 I'm just not really sure that we have enough in common. 561 00:19:48,614 --> 00:19:51,481 I mean, for example: 562 00:19:51,514 --> 00:19:54,914 I like running in the park, 563 00:19:54,947 --> 00:19:56,614 bicycling, 564 00:19:56,647 --> 00:20:01,547 roller-skating, tennis and, uh, skiing. 565 00:20:01,581 --> 00:20:04,081 And, um, well, 566 00:20:04,114 --> 00:20:07,581 I'm gonna be brutally honest with you now. 567 00:20:07,614 --> 00:20:11,581 It's a bitch to get here. It's two subways. 568 00:20:11,614 --> 00:20:11,970 I have to transfer at 42nd Street to take the double-R. 569 00:20:11,970 --> 00:20:16,481 I have to transfer at 42nd Street to take the double-R. 570 00:20:16,514 --> 00:20:20,447 Anyway, I mean, this doesn't mean we can't be friends. 571 00:20:22,414 --> 00:20:25,947 These pretzels are making me thirsty. 572 00:20:31,414 --> 00:20:33,714 Can you die from an odor? 573 00:20:33,747 --> 00:20:37,614 I mean, like, if you were locked in a vomitorium for two weeks 574 00:20:37,647 --> 00:20:39,047 could you actually die from the odor? 575 00:20:39,081 --> 00:20:41,970 An overdose of odor. Good question. 576 00:20:41,970 --> 00:20:42,047 An overdose of odor. Good question. 577 00:20:42,081 --> 00:20:45,881 Do I smell? 578 00:20:45,914 --> 00:20:49,547 No, no, no. I was just down at the 42nd Street subway today. 579 00:20:49,581 --> 00:20:52,214 It is disgusting. 580 00:20:52,247 --> 00:20:53,981 Guess who I bumped into? Owen. 581 00:20:54,014 --> 00:20:55,214 Ah. 582 00:20:55,247 --> 00:20:56,281 He's all right? 583 00:20:56,314 --> 00:20:58,381 Yeah, he's almost fully recovered. 584 00:20:58,414 --> 00:21:01,881 Told me he was just using me for sex. 585 00:21:01,914 --> 00:21:03,781 Let me get that. 586 00:21:03,814 --> 00:21:05,147 No, no, no. I got it. 587 00:21:05,181 --> 00:21:06,581 Please. Come on. Let me. 588 00:21:06,614 --> 00:21:07,914 I smashed your car. 589 00:21:07,947 --> 00:21:09,314 It cost you over 2000 dollars. 590 00:21:09,347 --> 00:21:11,347 Yeah, a cup of coffee should cover it. 591 00:21:14,014 --> 00:21:14,981 Oh, man. 592 00:21:15,014 --> 00:21:17,314 What are you doing here? 593 00:21:17,347 --> 00:21:18,747 I got fired from the movie. 594 00:21:18,781 --> 00:21:20,547 Get out of here. What? What? 595 00:21:20,581 --> 00:21:23,381 Well, you know, they were gonna shoot it today. 596 00:21:23,414 --> 00:21:26,981 We rehearsed it twice, and then Woody yells, "Action." 597 00:21:27,014 --> 00:21:28,547 I turn to him and I say, 598 00:21:28,581 --> 00:21:30,647 [IN UNISON] "These pretzels are making me thirsty." 599 00:21:30,681 --> 00:21:31,647 Right. 600 00:21:31,681 --> 00:21:34,147 Then I took a swig of beer 601 00:21:34,181 --> 00:21:36,147 and I slammed the glass down on the bar, 602 00:21:36,181 --> 00:21:37,214 and it shattered. 603 00:21:37,247 --> 00:21:39,481 Ohhh. 604 00:21:39,514 --> 00:21:41,970 Well, one of the pieces must've hit Woody, 605 00:21:41,970 --> 00:21:43,114 Well, one of the pieces must've hit Woody, 606 00:21:43,147 --> 00:21:45,481 and he started crying. 607 00:21:45,514 --> 00:21:49,447 And he yells out, "I'm bleeding," and he runs off. 608 00:21:49,481 --> 00:21:51,614 Anyway, this woman, she came up to me, and she says, 609 00:21:51,647 --> 00:21:53,614 "You're fired." 610 00:21:53,647 --> 00:21:55,847 Boy, I really nailed that scene. 611 00:22:01,314 --> 00:22:02,981 Oh, wait a-- 612 00:22:03,014 --> 00:22:06,314 Oh. Oh, for crying out loud. 613 00:22:06,347 --> 00:22:08,647 [♪] 614 00:22:17,612 --> 00:22:19,571 The best part of a relationship is when you're sick. 615 00:22:19,604 --> 00:22:21,271 And the best part of being sick 616 00:22:21,304 --> 00:22:22,604 is when you're in a relationship. 617 00:22:22,638 --> 00:22:24,771 But if I was to get married, you know those vows, 618 00:22:24,804 --> 00:22:27,304 "for richer or for poorer, for better or for worse." 619 00:22:27,338 --> 00:22:30,271 All I need is the sickness. That is the most important one. 620 00:22:30,304 --> 00:22:34,604 "Do you take this man in sickness?" 621 00:22:34,638 --> 00:22:36,304 That's the only time I need somebody there. 622 00:22:36,338 --> 00:22:38,304 The rest of the time, go out, have a ball. 623 00:22:38,338 --> 00:22:39,571 Do whatever you want. 624 00:22:39,604 --> 00:22:42,404 But if I get the sniffles, you better be there. 625 00:22:42,438 --> 00:22:44,104 [♪] 45127

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