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1
00:00:01,433 --> 00:00:03,200
So I was in the drugstore
the other day,
2
00:00:03,233 --> 00:00:04,400
trying to get a cold medication.
3
00:00:04,433 --> 00:00:06,400
Did you ever try
and pick one of these out?
4
00:00:06,433 --> 00:00:08,400
It's a wall, it's an entire wall
of cold medications.
5
00:00:08,433 --> 00:00:09,800
You're standing there,
you're going, "All right.
6
00:00:09,833 --> 00:00:13,233
"All right, all right.
Okay, what the hell am I--?
7
00:00:13,266 --> 00:00:17,033
"This is quick-acting,
but this is long-lasting.
8
00:00:18,266 --> 00:00:21,500
When do I need to feel good?
Now or later?"
9
00:00:21,533 --> 00:00:22,666
It's a tough question.
10
00:00:22,700 --> 00:00:24,466
And then we show you
the commercials on TV,
11
00:00:24,500 --> 00:00:26,666
where they show you what's wrong
with the guy, you know,
12
00:00:26,700 --> 00:00:29,066
and they always show you, like,
all the problems that he has.
13
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:30,000
First of all, they always
show you the human body,
14
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,066
First of all, they always
show you the human body,
15
00:00:31,100 --> 00:00:32,400
which is usually this guy:
16
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:35,900
No face, mouth open.
17
00:00:35,933 --> 00:00:38,033
This is how drug companies
see the public.
18
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,233
And he's always
in, like, a certain pain.
19
00:00:42,266 --> 00:00:45,066
It's like red, wavy lines
are going through him, you know,
20
00:00:45,100 --> 00:00:46,400
or he's glowing,
21
00:00:46,433 --> 00:00:48,800
parts of him are on fire
sometimes,
22
00:00:48,833 --> 00:00:50,633
lightning is attacking him...
23
00:00:50,666 --> 00:00:52,633
I never had a doctor say to me,
24
00:00:52,666 --> 00:00:54,233
"Are you having pain?"
"Yes, I am."
25
00:00:54,266 --> 00:00:56,366
"Are you having any lightning
with the pain?"
26
00:01:05,766 --> 00:01:07,366
How did you get fleas?
27
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,966
Because my cousin's imbecile dog
was rolling around outside,
28
00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:11,400
and they got in his carpet.
29
00:01:11,433 --> 00:01:14,666
Maybe you could get yourself
a little bow tie flea collar.
30
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:16,866
That's real funny.
31
00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:19,366
So are you coming to the party?
32
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,733
Um... I'd go,
33
00:01:20,766 --> 00:01:22,466
but Long Island,
it's so far out.
34
00:01:22,500 --> 00:01:23,866
It smacks
of desperation.
35
00:01:23,900 --> 00:01:25,866
The whole party, everyone's
gonna be saying to me,
36
00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:28,000
"You came all the way out
from Manhattan for this?"
37
00:01:28,033 --> 00:01:28,642
You know,
Ava's gonna be there.
38
00:01:28,642 --> 00:01:29,566
You know,
Ava's gonna be there.
39
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:30,566
Who?
40
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,466
The nice one
that works in my office.
41
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,033
Eh...
I'll drive.
42
00:01:34,066 --> 00:01:36,166
Oh, well,
now you're talking.
43
00:01:36,200 --> 00:01:37,666
It's supposed
to be a good party.
44
00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:39,133
Well, what does
that mean?
45
00:01:39,166 --> 00:01:41,333
Good dip?
46
00:01:41,366 --> 00:01:43,000
No. There'll be girls there.
47
00:01:43,033 --> 00:01:44,700
There's girls everywhere.
48
00:01:44,733 --> 00:01:46,133
I go out of
my apartment,
49
00:01:46,166 --> 00:01:47,400
there's girls
in the elevator.
50
00:01:47,433 --> 00:01:50,466
They're in cafeterias,
subways. So what?
51
00:01:50,500 --> 00:01:52,366
There's a hundred
different things here.
52
00:01:53,766 --> 00:01:55,700
What's the difference
between these two?
53
00:01:56,933 --> 00:01:58,500
You got propylparaben?
54
00:01:58,533 --> 00:01:58,642
Got it.
55
00:01:58,642 --> 00:01:59,500
Got it.
56
00:01:59,533 --> 00:02:00,633
You got isobutane 30?
57
00:02:00,666 --> 00:02:02,566
I've got isobutane 20.
58
00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,066
A-ha.
59
00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:06,900
You got sorbitan sesquioleate?
60
00:02:06,933 --> 00:02:07,900
Got it.
61
00:02:07,933 --> 00:02:08,900
I have aloe.
62
00:02:08,933 --> 00:02:11,233
You got aloe? I love aloe.
63
00:02:11,266 --> 00:02:12,300
Where do they make yours?
64
00:02:12,333 --> 00:02:14,566
Jersey.
White Plains.
65
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:15,600
Pfft.
66
00:02:16,733 --> 00:02:18,533
JERRY:
Girls...
67
00:02:18,566 --> 00:02:20,033
There's girls
right here in the store.
68
00:02:21,566 --> 00:02:23,133
Look, look,
there's one over there.
69
00:02:23,166 --> 00:02:24,800
Look.
70
00:02:24,833 --> 00:02:26,233
There's another one.
71
00:02:26,266 --> 00:02:28,642
As soon as I walk outside,
there'll be girls out there.
72
00:02:28,642 --> 00:02:29,133
As soon as I walk outside,
there'll be girls out there.
73
00:02:29,166 --> 00:02:31,066
What's the matter?
74
00:02:31,100 --> 00:02:32,400
I gave her a 20.
75
00:02:32,433 --> 00:02:34,200
She only gave me
change for a 10.
76
00:02:34,233 --> 00:02:35,200
Are you sure?
77
00:02:35,233 --> 00:02:36,700
Oh, boy, here we go.
78
00:02:37,833 --> 00:02:39,566
Excuse me. Um,
I gave you a $20 bill,
79
00:02:39,600 --> 00:02:41,566
and you only actually gave me
change for a 10.
80
00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:42,900
You gave me a 10.
81
00:02:42,933 --> 00:02:44,566
I'm positive I gave you a 20.
82
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:46,400
I know what you gave me.
83
00:02:46,433 --> 00:02:47,966
You owe me $10.
84
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,400
Will you please step aside.
85
00:02:49,433 --> 00:02:51,233
Next!
All right.
86
00:02:51,266 --> 00:02:53,000
All right, let's... Let's just
examine the situation
87
00:02:53,033 --> 00:02:54,033
for a second.
88
00:02:54,066 --> 00:02:56,166
Who in this situation
89
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:57,733
would be more likely
to make a mistake?
90
00:02:57,766 --> 00:02:58,642
Me, who had access to my wallet,
knew exactly what was in there,
91
00:02:58,642 --> 00:03:01,833
Me, who had access to my wallet,
knew exactly what was in there,
92
00:03:01,866 --> 00:03:02,833
or you?
93
00:03:02,866 --> 00:03:03,833
You.
94
00:03:03,866 --> 00:03:05,533
No, no, no.
95
00:03:05,566 --> 00:03:06,900
See, you're not
really listening.
96
00:03:06,933 --> 00:03:08,066
What's the problem
here?
97
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:09,300
No problem.
There's no problem.
98
00:03:09,333 --> 00:03:10,700
She just owes me $10,
that's all.
99
00:03:10,733 --> 00:03:11,900
Oh, he's claiming short.
100
00:03:11,933 --> 00:03:13,733
All right, let's just
take it outside.
101
00:03:13,766 --> 00:03:16,200
Oh, so you don't
believe me either?
102
00:03:16,233 --> 00:03:17,866
Come on, let's go.
103
00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:19,233
You haven't won.
104
00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:21,033
You may think you've won,
but you haven't won.
105
00:03:21,066 --> 00:03:22,533
Do you know why?
It's not over.
106
00:03:22,566 --> 00:03:23,833
This is not over.
107
00:03:23,866 --> 00:03:25,800
I'm not forgetting
what's happening here.
108
00:03:25,833 --> 00:03:27,066
You have my $10.
109
00:03:27,100 --> 00:03:28,566
I will get it back.
110
00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:28,642
All right.
111
00:03:28,642 --> 00:03:29,866
All right.
112
00:03:29,900 --> 00:03:31,166
Don't worry.
It's not over.
113
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:32,166
I'm going now.
114
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:35,433
Goodbye. I will be back.
Ho-ho-ho!
115
00:03:37,566 --> 00:03:40,033
[SOFT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
116
00:03:42,866 --> 00:03:44,400
ELAINE: Well,
don't stand here.
117
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,233
Let's walk in.
Blend in, blend in.
118
00:03:46,266 --> 00:03:48,633
No, let's survey first,
camp here.
119
00:03:48,666 --> 00:03:49,600
Ava.
120
00:03:51,700 --> 00:03:54,533
What could possess anyone
to throw a party?
121
00:03:54,566 --> 00:03:56,133
I mean,
to have a bunch of strangers
122
00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:58,300
treat your house
like a hotel room?
123
00:03:58,333 --> 00:03:58,642
So guess who just sold
129 West 81st?
124
00:03:58,642 --> 00:04:01,900
So guess who just sold
129 West 81st?
125
00:04:01,933 --> 00:04:02,900
Oh, no, you didn't.
126
00:04:02,933 --> 00:04:04,666
GEORGE:
Get out! When?
127
00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:05,666
Yesterday.
128
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:07,666
I don't believe it.
Ask Mark.
129
00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:09,666
Mark, is this true?
130
00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:11,100
Oh!
131
00:04:13,066 --> 00:04:18,033
Yeah, this has got disaster
written all over it.
132
00:04:18,066 --> 00:04:20,666
How did I ever let you
talk me into this?
133
00:04:20,700 --> 00:04:22,666
I must have been
out of my mind.
134
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:25,233
Now, listen, let's keep
an eye on each other tonight.
135
00:04:25,266 --> 00:04:27,733
In case one of us
gets in a bad conversation,
136
00:04:27,766 --> 00:04:28,642
we should have a signal
that you're in trouble
137
00:04:28,642 --> 00:04:29,566
we should have a signal
that you're in trouble
138
00:04:29,600 --> 00:04:31,566
so the other one
can get us out of it.
139
00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,066
How old are you?
140
00:04:33,100 --> 00:04:35,333
Thirty-six.
141
00:04:35,366 --> 00:04:36,366
What's the signal?
142
00:04:37,733 --> 00:04:39,466
How about this?
143
00:04:39,500 --> 00:04:41,900
Chicken wing.
144
00:04:41,933 --> 00:04:44,500
No, no, no,
I've got a better one.
145
00:04:44,533 --> 00:04:46,000
Head-patting.
146
00:04:46,033 --> 00:04:48,433
Whatever you want.
147
00:04:52,866 --> 00:04:55,066
You came all the way out
from Manhattan for this?
148
00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:57,900
Yeah. Yeah, I did.
149
00:04:57,933 --> 00:04:58,642
So, what do you do?
150
00:04:58,642 --> 00:04:59,700
So, what do you do?
151
00:05:03,533 --> 00:05:05,400
I'm a comedian.
152
00:05:05,433 --> 00:05:06,733
Are you?
153
00:05:06,766 --> 00:05:08,133
Let me ask you
something.
154
00:05:08,166 --> 00:05:09,333
Where do you get
your material?
155
00:05:09,366 --> 00:05:10,666
I hear a voice.
156
00:05:10,700 --> 00:05:12,233
What kind of voice?
157
00:05:12,266 --> 00:05:14,800
A man's voice,
but he speaks in German,
158
00:05:14,833 --> 00:05:16,366
so I have to get it translated.
159
00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:19,333
How come you keep tapping
your head?
160
00:05:19,366 --> 00:05:21,633
Uh, it's a nervous tic.
161
00:05:21,666 --> 00:05:23,300
I'm on L-dopa.
162
00:05:23,333 --> 00:05:24,833
On the other hand,
163
00:05:24,866 --> 00:05:27,566
you take a guy
like George Washington Carver.
164
00:05:27,600 --> 00:05:28,642
The man devoted his whole life
to the peanut.
165
00:05:28,642 --> 00:05:31,300
The man devoted his whole life
to the peanut.
166
00:05:31,333 --> 00:05:34,266
Imagine having so much passion
for something.
167
00:05:35,766 --> 00:05:38,666
You know, people tell me
I'm a funny guy.
168
00:05:41,666 --> 00:05:42,666
I've often wondered
169
00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:44,600
if he ever worked
with the pecan.
170
00:05:45,900 --> 00:05:47,400
Yeah, me too.
171
00:05:47,433 --> 00:05:49,233
Now, is that considered a nut?
172
00:05:49,266 --> 00:05:51,666
Because I know
the cashew is a legume.
173
00:05:55,600 --> 00:05:56,566
How's it going?
174
00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:57,733
Great.
How about you?
175
00:05:57,766 --> 00:05:58,642
I can't believe
what's happening here.
176
00:05:58,642 --> 00:06:00,166
I can't believe
what's happening here.
177
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,700
She hasn't taken her hands
off me all night.
178
00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:04,500
I mean, she was always friendly
around the office,
179
00:06:04,533 --> 00:06:05,500
but that was it.
180
00:06:05,533 --> 00:06:07,200
How do you account for this?
181
00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:08,200
I don't know.
182
00:06:08,233 --> 00:06:10,000
Maybe a safe fell on her head.
183
00:06:10,033 --> 00:06:13,066
Well, she obviously
liked you all along.
184
00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:14,666
No, I would have
picked up on it.
185
00:06:14,700 --> 00:06:16,466
I can always tell
when a woman likes me.
186
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:18,366
They always somehow
let you know.
187
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,366
With me, they could torture me,
I wouldn't tell them.
188
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:21,966
If anything,
I try to make them think
189
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,066
I don't like them.
190
00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:24,700
Then they think,
"Oh, look at this guy.
191
00:06:24,733 --> 00:06:25,966
"He's not even looking at me.
192
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,400
He must have something
going for him," you know.
193
00:06:28,433 --> 00:06:28,642
Anyway,
I'm ready to go.
194
00:06:28,642 --> 00:06:29,866
Anyway,
I'm ready to go.
195
00:06:29,900 --> 00:06:30,866
Now?
196
00:06:30,900 --> 00:06:32,700
Well, if not now, when?
197
00:06:32,733 --> 00:06:34,666
Give me a half-hour.
198
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:36,400
Okay, half-hour.
199
00:06:36,433 --> 00:06:39,400
Peanut brittle,
peanut butter,
200
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:40,566
peanut oil...
201
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,633
Can I talk to you
for a second?
202
00:06:42,666 --> 00:06:43,933
Oh, excuse me.
203
00:06:45,733 --> 00:06:47,333
What have you been doing?
204
00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:49,666
I've been smacking myself
senseless.
205
00:06:51,266 --> 00:06:52,866
People think
I'm a mental patient.
206
00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:55,000
Hey, I was dying over there.
207
00:06:55,033 --> 00:06:57,566
This guy's going off
on the peanut.
208
00:06:57,600 --> 00:06:58,642
Now, pay attention.
209
00:06:58,642 --> 00:06:59,466
Now, pay attention.
210
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:02,066
Yeah, I think I've seen you
in a club.
211
00:07:02,100 --> 00:07:04,066
You talk about
a lot of everyday things, right?
212
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:05,066
Right.
213
00:07:05,100 --> 00:07:06,900
Yeah. I remember you.
214
00:07:09,933 --> 00:07:11,400
I wonder what happened
to my fiancé.
215
00:07:11,433 --> 00:07:13,400
I know he's here
somewhere.
216
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,633
Ellen,
217
00:07:14,666 --> 00:07:16,633
have you seen
my fiancé?
218
00:07:16,666 --> 00:07:17,633
He's upstairs.
219
00:07:17,666 --> 00:07:18,733
Are you going
upstairs?
220
00:07:18,766 --> 00:07:21,566
Tell my fiancé
I'm looking for him.
221
00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:25,666
I have lost my fiancé,
the poor baby.
222
00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:28,642
[AUSTRALIAN ACCENT]
Maybe the dingo ate your baby.
223
00:07:28,642 --> 00:07:30,333
[AUSTRALIAN ACCENT]
Maybe the dingo ate your baby.
224
00:07:33,766 --> 00:07:34,733
What?
225
00:07:34,766 --> 00:07:38,066
The dingo ate your baby.
226
00:07:47,900 --> 00:07:49,200
You ready?
227
00:07:49,233 --> 00:07:50,233
Listen,
228
00:07:50,266 --> 00:07:52,233
I have a tremendous favor
to ask.
229
00:07:52,266 --> 00:07:53,566
I do favors.
230
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:55,666
I think something's
happening here.
231
00:07:55,700 --> 00:07:56,733
What?
232
00:07:56,766 --> 00:07:58,642
I think she wants me
to take her home.
233
00:07:58,642 --> 00:07:59,066
I think she wants me
to take her home.
234
00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:00,700
Wow.
235
00:08:00,733 --> 00:08:01,966
What should I do?
236
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,233
Go. What can you do?
237
00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:05,800
What about you
and Elaine?
238
00:08:05,833 --> 00:08:07,666
We'll get a ride.
Are you sure?
239
00:08:07,700 --> 00:08:09,200
We'll be fine.
What did she say?
240
00:08:09,233 --> 00:08:11,033
She told me she wants--
241
00:08:13,266 --> 00:08:15,433
She told me she wants me
to make love to her.
242
00:08:17,733 --> 00:08:18,800
What? She said that?
243
00:08:18,833 --> 00:08:20,133
Yeah.
244
00:08:20,166 --> 00:08:21,466
Get out of here.
245
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,266
I swear.
246
00:08:24,733 --> 00:08:25,733
What did you say?
247
00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:26,966
I--
248
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,066
Oh, I-- I can't.
249
00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:28,642
Come on, what did you say?
250
00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:29,700
Come on, what did you say?
251
00:08:29,733 --> 00:08:30,900
Please, it's-- It's...
252
00:08:30,933 --> 00:08:31,900
What?
253
00:08:33,266 --> 00:08:35,033
"I..."
254
00:08:36,433 --> 00:08:38,166
"I, uh..."
255
00:08:40,766 --> 00:08:43,533
"I long for you."
256
00:08:43,566 --> 00:08:44,666
"I long for you"?
257
00:08:44,700 --> 00:08:47,333
I was so shocked.
I was lucky I said anything.
258
00:08:47,366 --> 00:08:49,400
It's okay. That's not bad.
259
00:08:49,433 --> 00:08:51,733
I don't like when a woman
says "Make love to me."
260
00:08:51,766 --> 00:08:53,033
It's intimidating.
261
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,833
The last time
a woman said that to me,
262
00:08:54,866 --> 00:08:56,733
I wound up apologizing to her.
263
00:08:56,766 --> 00:08:58,033
Really?
264
00:08:58,066 --> 00:08:58,642
That's a lot of pressure.
"Make love to me."
265
00:08:58,642 --> 00:09:00,700
That's a lot of pressure.
"Make love to me."
266
00:09:00,733 --> 00:09:02,900
What am I? In a circus?
267
00:09:02,933 --> 00:09:04,200
What if I can't deliver?
268
00:09:04,233 --> 00:09:05,566
Oh, come on.
269
00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:06,866
I can't perform
under pressure.
270
00:09:06,900 --> 00:09:09,066
That's why I never play
anything for money.
271
00:09:09,100 --> 00:09:10,966
I choke.
272
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,733
I could choke tonight.
273
00:09:12,766 --> 00:09:14,233
And she works in my office.
274
00:09:14,266 --> 00:09:16,066
Can you imagine?
If she goes around
275
00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:17,466
telling everyone
what happened?
276
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:18,800
Oh, maybe I should cancel.
277
00:09:18,833 --> 00:09:20,400
I have a very bad
feeling about this.
278
00:09:20,433 --> 00:09:21,900
George,
you're thinking too much.
279
00:09:21,933 --> 00:09:25,066
I know, I know.
I can't stop it.
280
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,633
Well, right now,
281
00:09:28,666 --> 00:09:30,833
I'm reading manuscripts
for Pendant Publishing.
282
00:09:30,866 --> 00:09:32,000
JERRY:
Pendant?
283
00:09:32,033 --> 00:09:33,666
Those bastards.
284
00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:35,733
Excuse me.
285
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:41,500
Listen, George is going home
with this Ava from his office.
286
00:09:41,533 --> 00:09:43,133
Really?
287
00:09:43,166 --> 00:09:45,033
Huh. What a world.
288
00:09:46,366 --> 00:09:47,400
So we can go now.
289
00:09:47,433 --> 00:09:49,366
No, he's taking the car.
290
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,900
Well, what are we going
to do for a ride?
291
00:09:51,933 --> 00:09:53,000
I don't know.
292
00:09:54,666 --> 00:09:55,833
You don't know?
293
00:09:55,866 --> 00:09:57,733
Maybe Kramer
can come pick us up.
294
00:09:57,766 --> 00:09:58,642
Oh, great. Oh, this is great.
295
00:09:58,642 --> 00:10:00,700
Oh, great. Oh, this is great.
296
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:02,366
How could you let him
take the car?
297
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,933
There's nothing I could do.
It's part of the code.
298
00:10:06,266 --> 00:10:10,133
All plans between men
are tentative.
299
00:10:10,166 --> 00:10:12,466
If one man should suddenly have
an opportunity
300
00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:13,800
to pursue a woman,
301
00:10:13,833 --> 00:10:15,966
it's like these two guys
never met each other
302
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,233
ever in life.
303
00:10:17,266 --> 00:10:19,900
This is the male code.
304
00:10:19,933 --> 00:10:21,133
And it doesn't matter
305
00:10:21,166 --> 00:10:23,066
how important
the arrangements are.
306
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,400
I mean, most of the time,
307
00:10:24,433 --> 00:10:25,900
they scrub
a space shuttle mission,
308
00:10:25,933 --> 00:10:27,666
it's because one
of the astronauts met someone
309
00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:28,642
on his way to the launch pad.
310
00:10:28,642 --> 00:10:29,800
on his way to the launch pad.
311
00:10:29,833 --> 00:10:32,066
They hold that countdown.
312
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:34,233
He's leaning against the rocket,
talking to her,
313
00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:35,466
"So listen,
when I get back,
314
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:37,433
what do you say we get together
for some Tang?"
315
00:10:38,266 --> 00:10:39,733
ELAINE:
Oh, look at that.
316
00:10:39,766 --> 00:10:41,866
Look at what she's wearing.
You see what she's wearing?
317
00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:43,166
Yeah, yeah,
all right.
318
00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:45,166
I can't believe
she's walking around in that.
319
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:46,666
Just don't make a scene.
320
00:10:46,700 --> 00:10:48,733
Hey, is that real fur?
Oh, boy.
321
00:10:48,766 --> 00:10:52,233
It'd better be, or my ex-husband
owes me an explanation.
322
00:10:52,266 --> 00:10:53,233
Good night.
323
00:10:53,266 --> 00:10:54,566
You don't care
324
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,233
that innocent, defenseless
animals are being tortured
325
00:10:56,266 --> 00:10:57,400
so that you can look good?
326
00:10:57,433 --> 00:10:58,642
Could we talk about this
some other time?
327
00:10:58,642 --> 00:10:59,500
Could we talk about this
some other time?
328
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:00,733
Are you a vegetarian?
329
00:11:00,766 --> 00:11:01,900
Here we go.
330
00:11:01,933 --> 00:11:04,066
Yeah, yeah.
I eat fish occasionally.
331
00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:05,533
So you're a hypocrite.
332
00:11:05,566 --> 00:11:08,733
Hey, I've eaten frogs,
so nobody's perfect.
333
00:11:08,766 --> 00:11:09,866
Anyway, we...
334
00:11:09,900 --> 00:11:11,666
Well, talk to me
when you stop eating fish.
335
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:13,233
Fish don't feel any pain.
336
00:11:13,266 --> 00:11:15,400
How do you know?
Do you communicate with fish?
337
00:11:15,433 --> 00:11:17,500
Well, they're not kept
in little cages.
338
00:11:17,533 --> 00:11:18,500
Ever seen a goldfish?
339
00:11:18,533 --> 00:11:19,900
Goldfish...
340
00:11:19,933 --> 00:11:22,000
Yeah, I've seen goldfish.
They're not unhappy.
341
00:11:22,033 --> 00:11:25,400
Swim around a bowl for two weeks
and get flushed down the toilet.
342
00:11:25,433 --> 00:11:26,566
That's a good life.
Come on.
343
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,233
Oh, yeah, that's right.
344
00:11:28,266 --> 00:11:28,642
Go ahead, go ahead.
345
00:11:28,642 --> 00:11:29,466
Go ahead, go ahead.
346
00:11:29,500 --> 00:11:30,900
Maybe you can run
over a squirrel!
347
00:11:30,933 --> 00:11:32,233
Yeah, well,
348
00:11:32,266 --> 00:11:34,566
that's why we're here
in America.
349
00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:35,966
You're beautiful.
350
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,666
Call Kramer.
351
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:39,500
All right.
352
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:40,900
Excuse me.
353
00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:42,400
This is your party,
right?
354
00:11:42,433 --> 00:11:43,800
No, I just live here.
355
00:11:43,833 --> 00:11:45,133
Can I use your phone?
356
00:11:45,166 --> 00:11:46,733
What's in it for me?
357
00:11:46,766 --> 00:11:48,700
A bigger bill.
Hey, go for it.
358
00:11:53,266 --> 00:11:54,733
Kram, Sein.
359
00:11:54,766 --> 00:11:57,033
What are you doing?
360
00:11:57,066 --> 00:11:58,642
Well, I'm stuck out here
on Long Island.
361
00:11:58,642 --> 00:11:59,400
Well, I'm stuck out here
on Long Island.
362
00:11:59,433 --> 00:12:02,033
What are your thoughts
about taking a ride?
363
00:12:02,066 --> 00:12:03,833
You're sure?
364
00:12:03,866 --> 00:12:05,866
Okay, but don't leave me
hanging here.
365
00:12:07,066 --> 00:12:08,533
Okay, great.
Let me give you directions.
366
00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,533
You--? You sure
367
00:12:17,566 --> 00:12:19,166
you don't need
any help?
368
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,000
No, not really.
369
00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:23,066
I'm sure he'll be here
any minute.
370
00:12:23,100 --> 00:12:24,866
I want them out of here.
371
00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:26,133
Call him again.
372
00:12:26,166 --> 00:12:28,033
I called.
What should I do?
373
00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,000
We really
appreciate this.
374
00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:33,900
It's 2:00 in the morning.
375
00:12:33,933 --> 00:12:36,000
Oh, you've got
the Civil War book.
376
00:12:36,033 --> 00:12:39,133
I saw some
of that show.
377
00:12:39,166 --> 00:12:40,605
It was wonderful.
378
00:12:40,605 --> 00:12:41,400
It was wonderful.
379
00:12:41,433 --> 00:12:44,666
620 million people died.
380
00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:45,733
Thousand.
381
00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:48,500
Thousand, 620,000.
382
00:12:48,533 --> 00:12:49,500
The horror,
383
00:12:49,533 --> 00:12:50,833
the horror...
384
00:12:50,866 --> 00:12:53,233
The wife keeps
giving us dirty looks.
385
00:12:53,266 --> 00:12:55,033
Are you sure you gave him
the right directions?
386
00:12:55,066 --> 00:12:56,633
Yes, yes.
387
00:12:56,666 --> 00:12:58,300
You sure there's
nothing we can do?
388
00:12:58,333 --> 00:13:01,033
No! I am not going to bed
with them in our house.
389
00:13:01,066 --> 00:13:02,466
This is ridiculous.
390
00:13:02,500 --> 00:13:04,533
You know, a friend
of my father's
391
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:06,533
used to live
right around here.
392
00:13:06,566 --> 00:13:08,700
Mike Wichter.
393
00:13:11,233 --> 00:13:13,133
He sold
plastic straws,
394
00:13:13,166 --> 00:13:14,533
you know, the ones...
395
00:13:14,566 --> 00:13:15,733
You could bend them.
396
00:13:17,333 --> 00:13:19,133
Have you noticed?
397
00:13:19,166 --> 00:13:21,733
People don't use straws
as much as they used to
398
00:13:21,766 --> 00:13:23,200
for some reason.
399
00:13:23,233 --> 00:13:26,233
You know, it doesn't look
as if your friend is coming.
400
00:13:26,266 --> 00:13:27,533
Oh, he's coming.
401
00:13:27,566 --> 00:13:29,866
Maybe you should take a look
at a train schedule.
402
00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:31,300
[DOG BARKING]
403
00:13:31,333 --> 00:13:32,466
[SCREAMS]
404
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:33,766
That's him.
405
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:36,200
I'm going to bed.
406
00:13:37,766 --> 00:13:39,366
Thanks a lot.
407
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:40,605
Thanks.
Great party.
408
00:13:40,605 --> 00:13:41,900
Thanks.
Great party.
409
00:13:41,933 --> 00:13:43,066
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
410
00:13:44,566 --> 00:13:46,566
Hey, how you doing?
Look who's here.
411
00:13:46,600 --> 00:13:48,133
Uh...
412
00:13:48,166 --> 00:13:49,133
I'm sorry.
413
00:13:49,166 --> 00:13:50,400
Hey, it's okay.
414
00:13:50,433 --> 00:13:52,633
I had the directions
on the seat right next to me.
415
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:54,400
They... They flew
out the window.
416
00:13:54,433 --> 00:13:56,900
Then how did you find
the place?
417
00:13:56,933 --> 00:14:00,000
Well, I knew the exit
on the Long Island Expressway,
418
00:14:00,033 --> 00:14:03,366
and I thought that the address
was 8713 Riviera Drive.
419
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,366
Ha, ha ha.
420
00:14:04,400 --> 00:14:06,666
So I drove around
421
00:14:06,700 --> 00:14:09,566
knocking on everybody's door
that had those numbers.
422
00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:10,605
8317, 7813, 3718, 1837.
423
00:14:10,605 --> 00:14:14,566
8317, 7813, 3718, 1837.
424
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,333
Whew... Finally,
I hit it, 8173.
425
00:14:17,366 --> 00:14:20,966
Anyway, thanks a lot
for letting us stay here, Steve.
426
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,033
I really owe you one.
No problem.
427
00:14:23,066 --> 00:14:24,400
And if you're ever
in the city,
428
00:14:24,433 --> 00:14:26,400
you know, you want to come
to a comedy club,
429
00:14:26,433 --> 00:14:27,400
whatever...
430
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:29,633
Hey, I might
take you up on that.
431
00:14:29,666 --> 00:14:32,366
Here's my address
and number...
432
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:33,766
and really, thanks again.
433
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:36,566
Well, you'd better zip up.
434
00:14:36,600 --> 00:14:39,266
I couldn't get the top
on the convertible up.
435
00:14:41,833 --> 00:14:42,900
But it's cold out.
436
00:14:42,933 --> 00:14:45,433
Yeah, wait till we get
on the Expressway.
437
00:14:50,433 --> 00:14:53,200
George, I've been sick all week.
Elaine was too.
438
00:14:54,433 --> 00:14:55,566
Eighty miles an hour,
439
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,566
40-degree temperature
for 50 minutes.
440
00:14:57,600 --> 00:14:59,200
Do the math.
441
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,466
Maybe I will get out,
442
00:15:02,500 --> 00:15:04,600
but let me just stop off
at the drugstore first.
443
00:15:05,900 --> 00:15:07,466
Okay, meet me down there
in 15 minutes.
444
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:09,066
Then we'll go do something.
445
00:15:09,100 --> 00:15:10,605
Yeah, Selwyn's. Okay, bye.
446
00:15:10,605 --> 00:15:11,033
Yeah, Selwyn's. Okay, bye.
447
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:17,300
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
448
00:15:17,333 --> 00:15:18,400
Who is it?
449
00:15:18,433 --> 00:15:20,066
Mr. Pocatillo.
450
00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:21,233
Who?
451
00:15:21,266 --> 00:15:23,566
You mean, you don't
recognize my voice?
452
00:15:24,766 --> 00:15:25,966
Jerry, baby!
453
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,233
Do I know you?
454
00:15:27,266 --> 00:15:29,966
Boy, this comedy's
really frying your brain.
455
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,166
I'm sorry...
456
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:33,733
See, this is the kind
of lasting impression
457
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:34,833
I make on people.
458
00:15:34,866 --> 00:15:36,300
Oh, okay.
459
00:15:36,333 --> 00:15:38,066
You said if I was
ever in the city.
460
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:40,233
I'm in the city!
461
00:15:40,266 --> 00:15:40,605
You certainly are.
462
00:15:40,605 --> 00:15:42,266
You certainly are.
463
00:15:43,933 --> 00:15:45,166
What's going on?
464
00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,533
I'm just waiting
for a lift back to the Island.
465
00:15:47,566 --> 00:15:48,900
He won't be ready until 11:00,
466
00:15:48,933 --> 00:15:50,566
so I figured
I'd give you a break.
467
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:52,200
I thought I'd see
what it was like
468
00:15:52,233 --> 00:15:53,800
to hang out
with someone in show business.
469
00:15:53,833 --> 00:15:55,233
Listen, I'm really sorry,
470
00:15:55,266 --> 00:15:57,566
but I'm just on my way out
to meet a friend.
471
00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,833
Oh, come on, you can come up
with something better than that.
472
00:16:00,866 --> 00:16:02,566
No, really,
I just got off the phone
473
00:16:02,600 --> 00:16:04,066
with him.
474
00:16:04,100 --> 00:16:05,166
I understand.
475
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,866
Look, you can hang out here
if you want.
476
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:10,605
Don't be so enthusiastic.
477
00:16:10,605 --> 00:16:11,666
Don't be so enthusiastic.
478
00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:13,733
No, it's...
479
00:16:13,766 --> 00:16:15,233
I'm not going to steal anything.
480
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:16,500
No, of course not.
481
00:16:16,533 --> 00:16:19,400
Just close the door
when you leave.
482
00:16:19,433 --> 00:16:20,633
I think I can do that.
483
00:16:20,666 --> 00:16:22,900
Really, I'm sorry.
484
00:16:22,933 --> 00:16:24,066
Maybe another time.
485
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:26,066
Yeah, let's have lunch.
486
00:16:27,233 --> 00:16:29,833
JERRY:
The guy is in
my house right now.
487
00:16:29,866 --> 00:16:32,066
What a mistake
that party was.
488
00:16:32,100 --> 00:16:33,700
I never should
have gone.
489
00:16:33,733 --> 00:16:35,133
Yeah, me either.
490
00:16:35,166 --> 00:16:36,133
Oh, come on.
491
00:16:36,166 --> 00:16:37,733
What, "come on"?
492
00:16:37,766 --> 00:16:39,900
Have you ever dated a woman
that worked in your office?
493
00:16:39,933 --> 00:16:40,605
I never had a job.
494
00:16:40,605 --> 00:16:41,233
I never had a job.
495
00:16:41,266 --> 00:16:44,400
You know that anxiety
you feel on a date?
496
00:16:44,433 --> 00:16:46,133
That's what I have
every day now.
497
00:16:46,166 --> 00:16:48,300
My worst nightmare's come true.
Every day is a date.
498
00:16:48,333 --> 00:16:51,733
That's one of Dante's
nine stages of hell,
499
00:16:51,766 --> 00:16:53,233
isn't it?
500
00:16:53,266 --> 00:16:55,900
Ava was one of the reasons
I used to like going to work.
501
00:16:55,933 --> 00:16:57,200
She was a friend.
502
00:16:57,233 --> 00:16:58,400
Now we sleep together,
503
00:16:58,433 --> 00:17:00,900
and suddenly, I don't
know how to talk to her.
504
00:17:00,933 --> 00:17:03,466
Every time I go to the bathroom,
I pass her desk.
505
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:06,733
I have to plan little patter.
I spend half my day writing.
506
00:17:06,766 --> 00:17:08,233
Then afterwards,
I sit in my office
507
00:17:08,266 --> 00:17:09,733
and analyze how it went.
508
00:17:09,766 --> 00:17:10,605
If it was a good conversation,
509
00:17:10,605 --> 00:17:11,066
If it was a good conversation,
510
00:17:11,100 --> 00:17:13,566
I don't go to the bathroom
for the rest of the day.
511
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,033
I see her laughing
and talking with other people.
512
00:17:16,066 --> 00:17:17,733
They're all so loose
and relaxed.
513
00:17:17,766 --> 00:17:19,633
I think, "That used to be me."
514
00:17:19,666 --> 00:17:21,066
I want to go back there again.
515
00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:24,133
What are you gonna do?
I have no choice.
516
00:17:24,166 --> 00:17:25,633
I'm quitting.
517
00:17:25,666 --> 00:17:29,533
[ANNOUNCER SPEAKING,
CROWD CHEERING ON TV]
518
00:17:30,766 --> 00:17:32,033
The party, Long Island.
519
00:17:32,066 --> 00:17:34,133
Kramer, right?
Yeah.
520
00:17:34,166 --> 00:17:35,333
Hey, what are you doing here?
521
00:17:35,366 --> 00:17:36,800
I'm waiting for my ride.
522
00:17:36,833 --> 00:17:38,333
Where's Jerry?
523
00:17:38,366 --> 00:17:39,566
He split.
524
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:40,605
Let me ask you something.
525
00:17:40,605 --> 00:17:41,866
Let me ask you something.
526
00:17:41,900 --> 00:17:43,333
Is there anything
to drink in here,
527
00:17:43,366 --> 00:17:44,733
or is that, like,
a stupid question?
528
00:17:44,766 --> 00:17:47,200
Uh... well, Jerry,
he doesn't have anything.
529
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,233
[SIGHS]
530
00:17:48,266 --> 00:17:51,166
Well, but I might
have something.
531
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,900
Yeah, I...
532
00:17:52,933 --> 00:17:55,033
I'm going to get this.
This looks good.
533
00:17:55,066 --> 00:17:56,900
How much is that?
534
00:17:56,933 --> 00:17:58,733
$9.60.
535
00:17:58,766 --> 00:18:01,033
$9.60?
536
00:18:02,100 --> 00:18:03,566
Give it to me.
Why?
537
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:04,833
Don't worry.
I've got it.
538
00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:07,466
What do you mean,
you've got it?
I got it.
539
00:18:07,500 --> 00:18:09,733
Since when are you
treating me to medicine?
540
00:18:09,766 --> 00:18:10,605
What are you doing?
541
00:18:10,605 --> 00:18:10,900
What are you doing?
542
00:18:10,933 --> 00:18:12,800
You're stealing this,
aren't you?
543
00:18:12,833 --> 00:18:13,900
I'm not stealing it.
544
00:18:13,933 --> 00:18:15,733
They owe me $10.
They stole it from me.
545
00:18:15,766 --> 00:18:16,966
You're a lunatic.
546
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,966
I have to do this.
It's a matter of honor.
547
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,733
What do you say
to a person like you?
548
00:18:20,766 --> 00:18:22,733
Just-- Just walk.
You don't even know me.
549
00:18:25,333 --> 00:18:26,466
Excuse me.
550
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:29,033
What do you got there?
551
00:18:30,266 --> 00:18:31,233
What?
552
00:18:31,266 --> 00:18:33,766
What do you got in your shirt?
553
00:18:37,266 --> 00:18:39,733
Oh... I was going to pay
for this.
554
00:18:39,766 --> 00:18:40,605
Okay, come with me.
Where are you taking me?
555
00:18:40,605 --> 00:18:42,166
Okay, come with me.
Where are you taking me?
556
00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:43,733
I was going to pay for it.
Mm-hm.
557
00:18:43,766 --> 00:18:44,966
You don't think
I remember you?
558
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,066
What are you talking about?
559
00:18:46,100 --> 00:18:47,900
I know who you are.
I was watching you.
560
00:18:47,933 --> 00:18:50,633
What are you gonna do?
Are you gonna call the police?
561
00:18:50,666 --> 00:18:51,633
Come on.
562
00:18:51,666 --> 00:18:52,900
Aah! Where--?
563
00:18:52,933 --> 00:18:56,866
Can I still buy this,
or is this evidence now?
564
00:18:56,900 --> 00:18:58,700
So I'm chasing
these doves
565
00:18:58,733 --> 00:18:59,833
down the street,
566
00:18:59,866 --> 00:19:02,800
and she's screaming
at the top of her lungs,
567
00:19:02,833 --> 00:19:04,066
and then
when the magician
568
00:19:04,100 --> 00:19:05,400
comes back
from Europe,
569
00:19:05,433 --> 00:19:07,733
two of them
turn brown.
570
00:19:07,766 --> 00:19:10,200
Well, I followed
the instructions!
571
00:19:16,233 --> 00:19:18,266
They turned brown!
572
00:19:22,666 --> 00:19:24,700
Brown!
573
00:19:24,733 --> 00:19:26,666
[LAUGHING]
574
00:19:30,566 --> 00:19:32,300
Oh! Oh!
575
00:19:32,333 --> 00:19:34,166
So let me ask you something.
576
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:35,800
You know any women
we could call?
577
00:19:35,833 --> 00:19:38,033
Not really.
578
00:19:38,066 --> 00:19:40,605
Maybe we should call
one of those escort services.
579
00:19:40,605 --> 00:19:40,733
Maybe we should call
one of those escort services.
580
00:19:40,766 --> 00:19:41,833
[LAUGHING]
Yeah.
581
00:19:41,866 --> 00:19:44,633
I saw one of them
advertised before
582
00:19:44,666 --> 00:19:45,833
on that cable station.
583
00:19:45,866 --> 00:19:47,833
555-LOVE.
584
00:19:47,866 --> 00:19:49,333
[LAUGHS]
585
00:19:49,366 --> 00:19:51,200
Are you in on this?
586
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:52,300
Oh, no, no.
587
00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:54,533
I got a girl
in the next building.
588
00:19:54,566 --> 00:19:55,566
Oh.
589
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:56,700
Yeah.
590
00:19:57,766 --> 00:19:59,900
WOMAN: Now, I want
my money, mister,
591
00:19:59,933 --> 00:20:01,666
and I ain't leaving
till I get it.
592
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,866
[LAUGHING]
593
00:20:03,900 --> 00:20:07,000
Now, I am through
playing games with you.
594
00:20:07,033 --> 00:20:08,900
I got things to do.
595
00:20:08,933 --> 00:20:10,605
Whew...
596
00:20:10,605 --> 00:20:10,800
Whew...
597
00:20:10,833 --> 00:20:12,633
Oh, Jerry, Jerry.
598
00:20:12,666 --> 00:20:14,800
Look who's here.
It's Jerry.
599
00:20:14,833 --> 00:20:16,000
What the hell?
600
00:20:16,033 --> 00:20:17,666
Jerry, this is Patti.
601
00:20:17,700 --> 00:20:19,066
Nice to meet you.
602
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:21,000
It's a pleasure to make
your acquaintance, I'm sure.
603
00:20:21,033 --> 00:20:22,400
What the hell
is going on here?
604
00:20:22,433 --> 00:20:23,533
I don't know,
605
00:20:23,566 --> 00:20:25,133
but I've got to
do this more often.
606
00:20:25,166 --> 00:20:26,733
[LAUGHS]
607
00:20:26,766 --> 00:20:27,733
[HORN HONKS]
608
00:20:27,766 --> 00:20:30,133
Oh, there's my ride,
finally.
609
00:20:30,166 --> 00:20:33,200
I'm not gonna go anywhere until
I get the rest of my money.
610
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:34,566
See you, Jer,
611
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:35,866
and tell Kramer
thanks.
612
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,000
I'll call him
tomorrow.
613
00:20:37,033 --> 00:20:38,500
Oh, Kramer, huh?
614
00:20:38,533 --> 00:20:40,605
Yeah, he's a hoot.
615
00:20:40,605 --> 00:20:40,700
Yeah, he's a hoot.
616
00:20:40,733 --> 00:20:43,266
Oh... Goodbye, my dear.
617
00:20:44,700 --> 00:20:45,733
Ouch.
618
00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:49,066
Weekend of the 26th,
come on out.
619
00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:51,033
We're having another party.
620
00:20:52,566 --> 00:20:54,033
I ain't leaving.
621
00:20:54,066 --> 00:20:55,533
Patti.
622
00:20:55,566 --> 00:20:57,366
You got anything
to drink?
623
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:59,733
All right, how much
does he owe you?
624
00:20:59,766 --> 00:21:02,033
$50.
625
00:21:03,266 --> 00:21:04,933
$50...
626
00:21:09,433 --> 00:21:10,533
This your apartment?
627
00:21:10,566 --> 00:21:10,605
Yeah, but--
628
00:21:10,605 --> 00:21:11,700
Yeah, but--
629
00:21:11,733 --> 00:21:12,700
You're under arrest
630
00:21:12,733 --> 00:21:13,866
for solicitation
of prostitution.
631
00:21:13,900 --> 00:21:15,700
Oh, wait a second, I--
632
00:21:17,266 --> 00:21:18,366
I have chicken soup.
633
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:22,233
Is that real fur?
634
00:21:22,266 --> 00:21:24,433
BOTH: Oh, boy.
635
00:21:27,100 --> 00:21:29,000
You had
Sergeant Chadway?
636
00:21:29,033 --> 00:21:30,000
Me too.
637
00:21:30,033 --> 00:21:31,533
He was a nice guy.
638
00:21:31,566 --> 00:21:32,766
Oh, great guy.
639
00:21:34,266 --> 00:21:36,000
Was there a redheaded guy there?
640
00:21:36,033 --> 00:21:37,900
The one with the long sideburns?
Yeah.
641
00:21:37,933 --> 00:21:39,233
Where does he come off?
642
00:21:39,266 --> 00:21:40,605
I know, there's no call
for that kind of attitude.
643
00:21:40,605 --> 00:21:42,333
I know, there's no call
for that kind of attitude.
644
00:21:42,366 --> 00:21:45,400
One of the guys in my cell
threw a piece of gum at him.
645
00:21:45,433 --> 00:21:47,766
Oh, we all hated him.
646
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,066
There's two types of favors,
647
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:51,633
the big favor
and the small favor.
648
00:21:51,666 --> 00:21:53,900
You can measure
the size of the favor
649
00:21:53,933 --> 00:21:55,966
by the pause
that a person takes
650
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,400
after they ask you
to "do me a favor."
651
00:21:58,433 --> 00:22:00,233
Small favor, small pause.
652
00:22:00,266 --> 00:22:02,500
"Can you do me a favor
and hand me that pencil?"
653
00:22:02,533 --> 00:22:03,966
No pause at all.
654
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,933
Big favors are...
"Could you do me a favor?"
655
00:22:18,933 --> 00:22:21,033
[♪]
44305
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