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1
00:00:02,233 --> 00:00:04,000
I'm not a foodie.
2
00:00:04,033 --> 00:00:07,400
I don't...
"Oh, this is too rare."
3
00:00:07,433 --> 00:00:08,800
"Oh, it's too salty."
4
00:00:08,833 --> 00:00:11,066
Just eat it and shut up.
5
00:00:11,100 --> 00:00:13,900
I'll eat anywhere,
whatever they're having.
6
00:00:13,933 --> 00:00:16,966
I have eaten rolls
off of room-service trays
7
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,166
in hotel hallways.
8
00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,966
I have. That's not a joke.
9
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,366
This is my life.
10
00:00:24,266 --> 00:00:25,666
I don't know.
Somebody left it.
11
00:00:25,700 --> 00:00:28,033
Why would somebody poison a roll
and leave it in the hallway
12
00:00:28,066 --> 00:00:30,000
for some comic coming down
at 2:00 in the morning?
13
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,900
for some comic coming down
at 2:00 in the morning?
14
00:00:31,933 --> 00:00:32,900
Why would they do that?
15
00:00:34,366 --> 00:00:35,833
Sometimes,
you go to a nice restaurant,
16
00:00:35,866 --> 00:00:37,500
they put the check
in a little book.
17
00:00:37,533 --> 00:00:40,833
What is this,
the story of the bill?
18
00:00:40,866 --> 00:00:42,966
"Once upon a time,
19
00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,533
there were
some very hungry people..."
20
00:00:44,566 --> 00:00:46,000
What is this?
21
00:00:46,033 --> 00:00:48,333
A little gold tassel
hanging down...
22
00:00:48,366 --> 00:00:49,833
Am I graduating
from the restaurant?
23
00:00:49,866 --> 00:00:51,066
What is this about?
24
00:01:00,266 --> 00:01:02,733
You want
some of mine?
25
00:01:02,766 --> 00:01:04,566
Take some of mine.
26
00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,833
Why do I get pesto?
27
00:01:06,866 --> 00:01:08,666
Why do I think I'll like it?
28
00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:12,133
I keep trying to like it.
It's like I have to like it.
29
00:01:12,166 --> 00:01:13,666
Who says you have to like it?
30
00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:15,166
Everybody likes pesto.
31
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:17,333
You walk into a restaurant,
that's all you hear.
32
00:01:17,366 --> 00:01:18,666
Pesto. Pesto. Pesto.
33
00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:20,166
I don't like pesto.
34
00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:22,719
Where was pesto 10 years ago?
35
00:01:22,719 --> 00:01:24,333
Where was pesto 10 years ago?
36
00:01:24,366 --> 00:01:25,833
Look at that guy.
37
00:01:25,866 --> 00:01:27,533
Mm-mm-mm-mm!
38
00:01:27,566 --> 00:01:29,000
I'll bet you
39
00:01:29,033 --> 00:01:30,800
he's getting hair
transplants.
40
00:01:30,833 --> 00:01:34,833
Anytime you see a guy that age
wearing a baseball cap,
41
00:01:34,866 --> 00:01:36,866
ten to one-- plugs.
42
00:01:38,033 --> 00:01:39,300
Well, the thing
43
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:42,333
about that painting
is with the colors and, um...
44
00:01:42,366 --> 00:01:45,666
Oh, yeah, plugola.
45
00:01:45,700 --> 00:01:47,033
Oh, one more thing
about the car--
46
00:01:47,066 --> 00:01:48,466
let it warm up for a minute.
47
00:01:48,500 --> 00:01:50,333
Yeah, that's a tough minute.
48
00:01:50,366 --> 00:01:52,719
It's like waiting in the shower
for the conditioner to work.
49
00:01:52,719 --> 00:01:55,333
It's like waiting in the shower
for the conditioner to work.
50
00:01:55,366 --> 00:01:57,633
I don't understand
why he couldn't take a cab.
51
00:01:57,666 --> 00:01:58,833
GEORGE: Who?
52
00:01:58,866 --> 00:02:01,300
Elaine is having a, uh...
house guest?
53
00:02:01,333 --> 00:02:04,466
She's picking him up
at the airport tonight.
54
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:05,666
A guy?
55
00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:07,800
Yes, it's a guy.
56
00:02:07,833 --> 00:02:11,500
He's from, uh, Yakima, right?
57
00:02:11,533 --> 00:02:13,000
Seattle.
58
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:15,033
Everybody's moving to Seattle.
59
00:02:15,066 --> 00:02:17,166
It's the pesto of cities. So?
60
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,333
Oh, well, you tell.
61
00:02:19,366 --> 00:02:22,333
Well, from what
I can piece together,
62
00:02:22,366 --> 00:02:22,719
our friend here
met a gentleman--
63
00:02:22,719 --> 00:02:24,733
our friend here
met a gentleman--
64
00:02:24,766 --> 00:02:25,800
Ed.
65
00:02:25,833 --> 00:02:28,666
Who was in town
on a business venture,
66
00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:30,666
and, uh...
67
00:02:30,700 --> 00:02:34,966
We, uh, shared
an interpersonal experience.
68
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,033
[CRYSTAL DINGS]
69
00:02:36,066 --> 00:02:39,166
So, they went out
a few times,
70
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,366
but, apparently,
when the fellow returned home,
71
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:44,500
he discovered
that the Benes tattoo
72
00:02:44,533 --> 00:02:46,300
does not wash off so easily.
73
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:47,500
On some people.
74
00:02:47,533 --> 00:02:49,500
Ooh...
75
00:02:49,533 --> 00:02:51,700
So, he's coming in
to stay with her for a week.
76
00:02:51,733 --> 00:02:52,719
It was just gonna be a weekend,
77
00:02:52,719 --> 00:02:53,866
It was just gonna be a weekend,
78
00:02:53,900 --> 00:02:55,400
but, then,
somehow it became a week.
79
00:02:57,066 --> 00:02:58,533
Ho. Ho. Ho. Ho!
80
00:02:58,566 --> 00:03:01,000
Wait a second. All right, okay.
I'll take that.
81
00:03:01,033 --> 00:03:02,166
All right. All right, okay.
82
00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:03,166
What happened?
83
00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:04,566
Oh...
84
00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,366
The, uh, busboy
left the menu
85
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:08,333
a little close
to the candle.
86
00:03:08,366 --> 00:03:10,733
I'm sorry
for the disturbance.
87
00:03:10,766 --> 00:03:13,233
Mm. I'm never eating here again.
88
00:03:13,266 --> 00:03:15,500
Yes.
89
00:03:15,533 --> 00:03:16,666
Nice going.
90
00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:17,866
Thank you.
91
00:03:17,900 --> 00:03:20,233
That ought to get us
a free dessert.
Yeah.
92
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:22,666
I think the busboy's in trouble.
93
00:03:25,233 --> 00:03:27,833
Did I get him in trouble
because of what I said?
94
00:03:27,866 --> 00:03:30,500
I just told him what happened.
He didn't do it on purpose.
95
00:03:30,533 --> 00:03:32,000
He pointed at me.
96
00:03:32,033 --> 00:03:34,066
Why did they point at me?
97
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:36,333
I said I would never eat here
again,
98
00:03:36,366 --> 00:03:38,366
but I--
he had to know I was kidding.
99
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:39,766
I didn't say anything.
100
00:03:40,866 --> 00:03:42,366
[GASPS]
101
00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:44,233
I can't believe it.
He's going.
102
00:03:44,266 --> 00:03:45,333
He's fired.
103
00:03:45,366 --> 00:03:47,666
Oh, I said it
in a kidding way.
104
00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:49,966
I didn't know he'd get fired.
105
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,566
He'll probably
kill his family over this.
106
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:52,719
What if he's waiting for me
outside?
107
00:03:52,719 --> 00:03:55,233
What if he's waiting for me
outside?
108
00:03:55,266 --> 00:03:57,066
He pointed at me.
Did you see him point?
109
00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:59,466
A lot of ex-cons become busboys.
110
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,833
They seem to gravitate
toward it.
111
00:04:01,866 --> 00:04:03,800
Was it my fault?
112
00:04:03,833 --> 00:04:04,900
Was it my fault?
113
00:04:04,933 --> 00:04:07,433
Maybe I'll try that pesto.
114
00:04:10,533 --> 00:04:14,033
Look, I feel bad for him too,
but he'll get another job.
115
00:04:14,066 --> 00:04:15,400
I mean, let's face it.
116
00:04:15,433 --> 00:04:17,833
It's not a profession
where you embellish your resume
117
00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:21,066
and undergo a series
of grueling interviews.
118
00:04:22,666 --> 00:04:22,719
Like you really know busboys.
119
00:04:22,719 --> 00:04:24,333
Like you really know busboys.
120
00:04:24,366 --> 00:04:25,566
Oh, like you do?
121
00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:27,833
Hey, at least
I was a camp waiter.
Camp.
122
00:04:27,866 --> 00:04:29,666
It was a fat camp!
123
00:04:29,700 --> 00:04:32,133
Those kids depended on me.
124
00:04:32,166 --> 00:04:35,333
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
125
00:04:35,366 --> 00:04:36,366
Elaine?
126
00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,733
Yeah.
127
00:04:38,766 --> 00:04:40,700
Busboys are always
changing jobs.
128
00:04:40,733 --> 00:04:42,200
That's the business.
129
00:04:42,233 --> 00:04:43,666
I know. I work with these guys.
130
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:44,966
I talk with them
131
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,333
in the kitchens
at the comedy clubs.
132
00:04:46,366 --> 00:04:48,166
Why don't you try
to get him another job?
133
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:49,200
I'd love to,
134
00:04:49,233 --> 00:04:51,000
but I don't know
anything about him.
135
00:04:51,033 --> 00:04:52,400
He could be one of those people
136
00:04:52,433 --> 00:04:52,719
that walks around the street
pricking people with pins.
137
00:04:52,719 --> 00:04:54,933
that walks around the street
pricking people with pins.
138
00:04:57,933 --> 00:05:00,500
I don't know
if you people are aware of this,
139
00:05:00,533 --> 00:05:01,733
but I am one clever chickadee.
140
00:05:01,766 --> 00:05:04,200
What, did you get
the busboy's number?
141
00:05:04,233 --> 00:05:06,166
His phone's been disconnected,
142
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:08,533
but I was able to obtain
an address--
143
00:05:08,566 --> 00:05:11,900
1324 Amsterdam Avenue,
apartment 4-D.
144
00:05:11,933 --> 00:05:13,900
Now, I did my job.
145
00:05:13,933 --> 00:05:16,333
May I have
the car keys, please?
146
00:05:16,366 --> 00:05:18,500
How did you
get all this?
147
00:05:18,533 --> 00:05:21,500
Does the word charm
mean anything to you?
148
00:05:21,533 --> 00:05:22,719
No.
149
00:05:22,719 --> 00:05:23,100
No.
150
00:05:26,366 --> 00:05:28,000
So now you're going
to his apartment?
151
00:05:28,033 --> 00:05:29,333
I really think this is nuts.
152
00:05:29,366 --> 00:05:30,833
I'd like
to apologize,
153
00:05:30,866 --> 00:05:32,166
I want to tell him
154
00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:33,866
I didn't mean
to get him in trouble.
155
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,333
So you're going now?
156
00:05:35,366 --> 00:05:37,500
Yeah, I wanna see
if there's anything I can do,
157
00:05:37,533 --> 00:05:39,166
maybe get him
another job.
158
00:05:39,200 --> 00:05:40,200
Maybe I'll hear
of something.
159
00:05:40,233 --> 00:05:41,433
Maybe the fat camp.
160
00:05:44,066 --> 00:05:45,333
You're not going?
161
00:05:45,366 --> 00:05:47,833
I would, but I have to
pick up Ed at the airport.
162
00:05:47,866 --> 00:05:50,333
I just don't think
you should go alone.
163
00:05:50,366 --> 00:05:52,719
Can't you wait
till after my set?
164
00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:52,833
Can't you wait
till after my set?
165
00:05:52,866 --> 00:05:53,966
It'll take too long.
166
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:54,966
Hey.
Hey.
167
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,333
Take the K-man,
a little support.
168
00:05:59,533 --> 00:06:01,033
I don't, uh...
169
00:06:01,066 --> 00:06:02,666
What? What? Take me where?
170
00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:04,866
Where?
171
00:06:07,933 --> 00:06:09,000
Uh...
172
00:06:09,033 --> 00:06:11,466
Um...
173
00:06:11,500 --> 00:06:14,333
Look, I really
appreciate your coming,
174
00:06:14,366 --> 00:06:19,500
but, um...
if you wouldn't mind...
175
00:06:19,533 --> 00:06:21,566
try not to say too much.
176
00:06:23,700 --> 00:06:26,700
What am I going to say?
177
00:06:26,733 --> 00:06:28,333
I don't know.
178
00:06:28,366 --> 00:06:30,500
Well, I'm not an idiot.
179
00:06:32,400 --> 00:06:35,033
Certainly not.
180
00:06:35,066 --> 00:06:37,166
Then we're cool.
181
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:39,500
Y-- Yeah.
182
00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,533
Yeah, w-w-we're cool.
183
00:06:46,700 --> 00:06:49,333
[KNOCKING LIGHTLY]
184
00:06:49,366 --> 00:06:50,933
[POUNDING]
185
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,233
Uh, I'm sorry to bother you.
186
00:06:58,266 --> 00:07:00,566
I was in the restaurant earlier,
187
00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,500
and I, uh, was wondering
if I could talk to you
188
00:07:03,533 --> 00:07:05,066
for a few minutes
about what happened.
189
00:07:10,533 --> 00:07:12,166
Thanks.
190
00:07:19,866 --> 00:07:21,333
Um...
191
00:07:21,366 --> 00:07:22,719
I-- I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.
192
00:07:22,719 --> 00:07:24,166
I-- I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.
193
00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:27,733
It's just that, um,
I think I may have--
194
00:07:27,766 --> 00:07:29,866
without realizing it--
195
00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:32,333
[CHUCKLING WEAKLY]
Um, been responsible
196
00:07:32,366 --> 00:07:33,666
for getting you fired.
197
00:07:35,233 --> 00:07:38,800
And-- and I just--
I wanted you to know
198
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:43,833
that I did not intend
for that to happen.
199
00:07:43,866 --> 00:07:45,700
He's a hell of a guy.
200
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:48,666
This is, uh...
a guy I know.
201
00:07:48,700 --> 00:07:50,000
Kramer--
202
00:07:50,033 --> 00:07:51,666
Habla espanol?
203
00:07:51,700 --> 00:07:52,719
Oh, my God.
204
00:07:52,719 --> 00:07:54,133
Oh, my God.
205
00:07:54,166 --> 00:07:55,200
Si.
206
00:07:55,233 --> 00:07:58,833
¿Como se dice...
waterbed?
207
00:08:02,433 --> 00:08:04,166
Anyway, I-- I, um...
208
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:06,666
I just wanted
to let you know
209
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:09,000
that I'm really sorry
that happened,
210
00:08:09,033 --> 00:08:12,500
and if I can help out
in any way,
211
00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:14,200
I'll certainly be glad
to do that.
212
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:19,333
Well, I guess
that's about it.
213
00:08:19,366 --> 00:08:21,833
You got anything
to drink?
214
00:08:21,866 --> 00:08:22,719
Agua.
215
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:22,866
Agua.
216
00:08:22,900 --> 00:08:24,333
Oy, oy... um.
217
00:08:24,366 --> 00:08:26,000
You know, we really
should be going.
218
00:08:26,033 --> 00:08:27,366
I'm gonna get a glass of water.
219
00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:29,533
Hurry up.
220
00:08:30,900 --> 00:08:36,333
Paquita.
221
00:08:36,366 --> 00:08:37,933
¿Paquita?
222
00:08:39,366 --> 00:08:42,266
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
223
00:08:45,700 --> 00:08:47,666
His cat's gone.
224
00:08:54,766 --> 00:08:59,733
La puerta esta abierta.
225
00:08:59,766 --> 00:09:03,533
La puerta esta abierta!
226
00:09:13,366 --> 00:09:15,066
Who left the door open?
227
00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:22,066
Who left the door open?
228
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:32,233
Come on! Come on! Help me look!
229
00:09:34,033 --> 00:09:36,433
Psst. Psst...
230
00:09:47,533 --> 00:09:48,600
[SIGHS]
231
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:53,366
You know, the cats,
they run away all the time.
232
00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,000
You know, my aunt,
she had a cat,
233
00:09:55,033 --> 00:09:57,000
ran away,
showed up three years later.
234
00:09:57,033 --> 00:09:58,666
You never know.
235
00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:00,400
They got things in their brains
236
00:10:00,433 --> 00:10:02,533
where they can remember
where they're from.
237
00:10:04,033 --> 00:10:05,133
Unless, of course,
238
00:10:05,166 --> 00:10:06,333
somebody else
starts feeding her.
239
00:10:06,366 --> 00:10:08,453
See, that's what
you got to worry about.
240
00:10:08,453 --> 00:10:10,000
See, that's what
you got to worry about.
241
00:10:10,033 --> 00:10:11,100
Ah.
242
00:10:12,533 --> 00:10:13,833
Once again,
243
00:10:13,866 --> 00:10:15,466
Antonio,
244
00:10:15,500 --> 00:10:17,000
I can't even begin
to say
245
00:10:17,033 --> 00:10:22,500
how deeply, deeply sorry
I am about everything.
246
00:10:22,533 --> 00:10:26,000
The job... the cat...
247
00:10:26,033 --> 00:10:29,500
[CRASH]
248
00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:31,033
The lamp.
249
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:35,733
There's wire
sticking out.
250
00:10:47,033 --> 00:10:48,100
Yeah?
251
00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,233
Here's my card.
252
00:10:52,266 --> 00:10:54,233
Uh, I'm in real estate,
253
00:10:54,266 --> 00:10:57,233
so if you're ever looking
for something bigger,
254
00:10:57,266 --> 00:11:00,000
something nicer...
255
00:11:00,033 --> 00:11:02,400
Maybe not right away.
256
00:11:02,433 --> 00:11:04,866
Anyway, heh...
257
00:11:09,666 --> 00:11:12,433
You ought to get
that wire fixed.
258
00:11:16,733 --> 00:11:19,400
Uh, I got the door.
259
00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:23,333
[THUNK]
260
00:11:25,900 --> 00:11:27,300
George, stop worrying
about this guy.
261
00:11:27,333 --> 00:11:29,366
It wasn't your fault.
262
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,700
Come on. He's not stalking you.
263
00:11:33,933 --> 00:11:35,000
Hey.
Hey.
264
00:11:35,033 --> 00:11:37,666
He doesn't even know
where you live.
265
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:38,453
Who told you to give him
your business card?
266
00:11:38,453 --> 00:11:40,166
Who told you to give him
your business card?
267
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,500
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
268
00:11:41,533 --> 00:11:42,900
That's Elaine.
269
00:11:42,933 --> 00:11:44,400
Kramer...
270
00:11:44,433 --> 00:11:45,833
George wants to know
271
00:11:45,866 --> 00:11:47,833
when you want to go
look for the cat again.
272
00:11:47,866 --> 00:11:50,000
Well, it's been a week.
273
00:11:50,033 --> 00:11:52,400
It's up to the cat now.
274
00:11:53,933 --> 00:11:56,900
Kramer says
it's up to the cat now.
275
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:59,000
It'll be on your conscience.
276
00:11:59,033 --> 00:12:00,233
Oh? How do you figure?
277
00:12:00,266 --> 00:12:01,900
How do you figure?
278
00:12:01,933 --> 00:12:04,033
Because you're the one
that left the door open.
279
00:12:04,066 --> 00:12:06,533
Why was I in charge
of closing the door?
280
00:12:06,566 --> 00:12:08,453
Why was he in charge
of closing the door?
281
00:12:08,453 --> 00:12:09,666
Why was he in charge
of closing the door?
282
00:12:09,700 --> 00:12:11,066
Because you came in after him.
283
00:12:11,100 --> 00:12:12,066
So?
284
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:13,400
So?
285
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:15,633
So the last person in
should close the door.
286
00:12:15,666 --> 00:12:17,000
Let me talk to him.
287
00:12:17,033 --> 00:12:19,000
Call-- Call him
from your house.
288
00:12:19,033 --> 00:12:21,500
He's calling you now.
289
00:12:21,533 --> 00:12:24,466
Okay.
290
00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:26,400
Ed's downstairs.
Can I have the car keys?
291
00:12:27,833 --> 00:12:28,800
No hello?
292
00:12:28,833 --> 00:12:31,366
You got any aspirin?
293
00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:32,533
Hello.
294
00:12:34,533 --> 00:12:35,733
Now, lookit,
295
00:12:35,766 --> 00:12:37,666
you guarantee me
this car's gonna get me
296
00:12:37,700 --> 00:12:38,453
to the airport
tomorrow, no problem?
297
00:12:38,453 --> 00:12:39,666
to the airport
tomorrow, no problem?
298
00:12:39,700 --> 00:12:42,233
Guarantee?
Hey, it's a car.
299
00:12:42,266 --> 00:12:43,466
Because if there's even
300
00:12:43,500 --> 00:12:46,333
the slightest chance
of any problem at all,
301
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:47,700
I don't want to take it,
302
00:12:47,733 --> 00:12:50,133
because if I don't get this guy
on a plane to Seattle,
303
00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:52,133
and out of my life,
I'm going to kill him
304
00:12:52,166 --> 00:12:55,733
and anyone who tries
to stop me.
305
00:12:55,766 --> 00:13:00,033
So, did you have
a nice week together?
306
00:13:01,266 --> 00:13:03,500
I heard a little ping
in the car the last time.
307
00:13:03,533 --> 00:13:04,633
What was that ping?
308
00:13:04,666 --> 00:13:05,666
There's no ping.
309
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:07,800
Why are you so wacky?
310
00:13:07,833 --> 00:13:08,453
[SIGHING]
Oh, Jerry.
311
00:13:08,453 --> 00:13:09,166
[SIGHING]
Oh, Jerry.
312
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,333
You cannot imagine how
much I hate this guy,
313
00:13:12,366 --> 00:13:13,833
and he hasn't even
done anything.
314
00:13:13,866 --> 00:13:15,666
It's the situation.
315
00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:20,000
He's a wonderful guy,
but I hate his guts.
316
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:22,133
Have you two been,
uh....
317
00:13:22,166 --> 00:13:24,466
No!
318
00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:25,633
I told him
319
00:13:25,666 --> 00:13:29,066
I've been having my period
the last five days.
320
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,833
I'm sleeping
all squished over
321
00:13:30,866 --> 00:13:32,300
on the edge of my bed,
322
00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:33,866
but I've only got
14 hours to go,
323
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,166
and nothing
can go wrong now.
324
00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:36,633
I think I've taken care
of everything.
325
00:13:36,666 --> 00:13:38,000
I've confirmed
the plane reservation,
326
00:13:38,033 --> 00:13:38,453
I've checked the weather.
327
00:13:38,453 --> 00:13:39,500
I've checked the weather.
328
00:13:39,533 --> 00:13:40,666
What's your airport route?
329
00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:42,066
Mm. I've got it
all mapped out.
330
00:13:42,100 --> 00:13:43,066
I'm taking the tunnel.
331
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:44,433
What about the Van Wyck?
332
00:13:46,066 --> 00:13:47,900
I spoke to a cab driver.
333
00:13:47,933 --> 00:13:49,333
For 5 bucks,
he turned me onto
334
00:13:49,366 --> 00:13:51,166
the Rockaway Boulevard
shortcut.
335
00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:52,400
Ooh.
336
00:13:52,433 --> 00:13:53,633
This plane
leaves at 10:15.
337
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,000
We're getting up
at about 8:00.
338
00:13:55,033 --> 00:13:56,300
That gives us
enough time, right?
339
00:13:56,333 --> 00:13:58,366
Are you still using
that same old alarm clock?
340
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,166
Oh, no, no, I bought
a new one today.
341
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:01,366
It's got everything.
It's got everything.
342
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,966
If you oversleep
more than 10 minutes,
343
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:06,000
a hand comes out
and slaps you in the face.
344
00:14:06,033 --> 00:14:08,233
Flying doesn't make me nervous.
345
00:14:08,266 --> 00:14:08,453
Driving to the airport, uh,
can make you very nervous
346
00:14:08,453 --> 00:14:11,633
Driving to the airport, uh,
can make you very nervous
347
00:14:11,666 --> 00:14:15,533
because, when you're flying,
when you're getting on a plane,
348
00:14:15,566 --> 00:14:18,233
If you miss that plane,
there's no alternative.
349
00:14:18,266 --> 00:14:19,800
On the ground,
you have options.
350
00:14:19,833 --> 00:14:22,166
You have buses,
you have taxis, you have trains.
351
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:24,466
But when you're taking a flight,
352
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:26,000
if you miss it, that's it.
353
00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:28,300
No airline goes,
"Well, you missed the flight.
354
00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:30,733
"We do have a cannon leaving
in about 10 minutes.
355
00:14:30,766 --> 00:14:32,733
"Think you'd be interested
in that?
356
00:14:32,766 --> 00:14:34,000
"It's not a direct cannon.
357
00:14:34,033 --> 00:14:37,533
"You have to change cannons
after you land.
358
00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:42,166
"I'm sorry,
where are you going, Chicago?
359
00:14:43,533 --> 00:14:46,900
"Oh, Dallas. All right.
Wait a second.
360
00:14:46,933 --> 00:14:48,900
"That's about Dallas.
Texas, anyway.
361
00:14:48,933 --> 00:14:50,533
"You should hit Texas.
Are you ready?
362
00:14:52,066 --> 00:14:53,833
"Make sure you get out
of the net immediately,
363
00:14:53,866 --> 00:14:56,500
because we shoot the luggage in
right after you."
364
00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:07,066
[GASPING]
Get up!
365
00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:08,453
The alarm didn't go off.
It's 9:15!
366
00:15:08,453 --> 00:15:08,833
The alarm didn't go off.
It's 9:15!
367
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:10,733
You're gonna miss the plane.
It's 9:15!
368
00:15:10,766 --> 00:15:12,233
It's 9:15?
369
00:15:12,266 --> 00:15:13,333
Yes. Yeah. It's 9:15.
370
00:15:13,366 --> 00:15:15,166
Mm. We'll never
make it.
371
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,333
I'll leave
tomorrow.
372
00:15:16,366 --> 00:15:17,833
Tomorrow? Are you crazy?
373
00:15:17,866 --> 00:15:20,166
No. Now, now, let's go.
Let's go.
374
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,733
Let's go. You get dressed.
You get dressed.
375
00:15:21,766 --> 00:15:23,000
Can I shower?
376
00:15:23,033 --> 00:15:24,500
Shower?
Are you out of your mind?
377
00:15:24,533 --> 00:15:25,500
Well, I gotta shower.
378
00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:27,166
I'll feel dirty
all day.
379
00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:28,733
Forget the shower.
The shower's out.
380
00:15:28,766 --> 00:15:30,166
Just move it.
Put your clothes on.
381
00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:31,166
Put your clothes on.
382
00:15:31,200 --> 00:15:32,333
Where are you going?
383
00:15:32,366 --> 00:15:33,333
I'm going to
the kitchen.
384
00:15:33,366 --> 00:15:34,400
The kitchen?
385
00:15:34,433 --> 00:15:36,500
Got a bag of cashews
in there.
386
00:15:36,533 --> 00:15:38,453
No, they're not in the kitchen.
They're not in the kitchen.
387
00:15:38,453 --> 00:15:38,666
No, they're not in the kitchen.
They're not in the kitchen.
388
00:15:38,700 --> 00:15:39,700
Here,
put your pants on.
389
00:15:39,733 --> 00:15:40,700
What's the big deal?
390
00:15:40,733 --> 00:15:41,700
Put your pants on!
391
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,400
I'll go tomorrow
or the next day.
392
00:15:43,433 --> 00:15:45,400
No, you've got your ticket.
You have to go now.
393
00:15:45,433 --> 00:15:46,733
We'll never make it.
394
00:15:46,766 --> 00:15:48,066
Don't say that.
395
00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:49,866
Well, it takes
45 minutes to g--
396
00:15:49,900 --> 00:15:52,733
It takes 45 minutes
to get there.
397
00:15:52,766 --> 00:15:54,166
That'll only leave me
five minutes
398
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,333
to get to the plane.
399
00:15:55,366 --> 00:15:56,833
Shut up and pack!
400
00:15:56,866 --> 00:15:58,633
And then what if
I don't make the plane?
401
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:00,400
You'll have already left,
then what do I do?
402
00:16:00,433 --> 00:16:01,500
Oh, you're talking
too much.
403
00:16:01,533 --> 00:16:03,166
Where's my sweater?
404
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,166
What?
405
00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:05,666
My brown sweater.
406
00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:06,733
What? What sweater?
407
00:16:06,766 --> 00:16:07,966
My brown sweater!
408
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:08,453
What? You didn't bring
a brown sweater.
409
00:16:08,453 --> 00:16:09,666
What? You didn't bring
a brown sweater.
410
00:16:09,700 --> 00:16:10,666
I had
a brown sweater!
411
00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:12,333
Here. Here!
You want a sweater?
412
00:16:12,366 --> 00:16:14,333
You want a brown sweater?
You got a brown sweater.
413
00:16:14,366 --> 00:16:15,333
That's not mine.
414
00:16:15,366 --> 00:16:16,333
I can't take
your sweater.
415
00:16:16,366 --> 00:16:18,466
It's brown!
416
00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:20,833
What are you doing?
417
00:16:20,866 --> 00:16:22,133
No, there's no time
for folding.
418
00:16:22,166 --> 00:16:24,166
There's no time for folding.
I think that's it.
419
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,000
My shoes,
you packed my shoes!
420
00:16:26,033 --> 00:16:27,233
Shoes? Shoes?
421
00:16:27,266 --> 00:16:29,666
Shoes weren't invented
until the 4th century.
422
00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:30,833
People walked around
423
00:16:30,866 --> 00:16:33,333
for thousands of years
without them!
424
00:16:33,366 --> 00:16:35,533
Let's go. Let's go!
425
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:40,633
Anywhere
in the city?
426
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:41,833
Anywhere in the city,
427
00:16:41,866 --> 00:16:43,833
I'll tell you
the best public toilets.
428
00:16:43,866 --> 00:16:45,033
Okay.
429
00:16:45,066 --> 00:16:47,033
54th and 6th.
430
00:16:47,066 --> 00:16:50,200
Sperry Rand Building,
14th floor, Morgan Apparel.
431
00:16:50,233 --> 00:16:55,400
Mention my name,
she'll give you the key.
432
00:16:55,433 --> 00:16:58,933
All right. 65th and 10th.
433
00:17:00,366 --> 00:17:02,166
Are you kidding?
434
00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:05,500
Lincoln Center,
Alice Tully Hall, the Met.
435
00:17:05,533 --> 00:17:08,233
Magnificent facilities. Come on.
436
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,200
I never knew
I could drive like that.
437
00:17:17,733 --> 00:17:20,333
I was going faster
than I've ever gone before.
438
00:17:20,366 --> 00:17:23,500
Yet it all seemed
to be happening in slow motion.
439
00:17:23,533 --> 00:17:26,333
I was seeing
three and four moves ahead,
440
00:17:26,366 --> 00:17:27,900
weaving in and out of lanes
441
00:17:27,933 --> 00:17:31,833
like an Olympic skier
on a gold-medal run.
442
00:17:31,866 --> 00:17:35,533
I knew I was challenging
the very laws of physics.
443
00:17:35,566 --> 00:17:37,733
At Queens Boulevard,
444
00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:38,453
I took the shoulder.
445
00:17:38,453 --> 00:17:39,566
I took the shoulder.
446
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,400
At Jewel Avenue,
I used the median.
447
00:17:42,433 --> 00:17:44,900
I had it. I was there.
448
00:17:44,933 --> 00:17:46,366
And then...
449
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:50,566
I hit the Van Wyck.
450
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,900
They say no one's ever
beaten the Van Wyck...
451
00:17:53,933 --> 00:17:58,233
but, gentlemen,
I tell you this:
452
00:17:58,266 --> 00:18:02,933
I came as close
as anyone ever has,
453
00:18:04,566 --> 00:18:08,453
And if it hadn't been
for that five-car pileup
454
00:18:08,453 --> 00:18:09,633
And if it hadn't been
for that five-car pileup
455
00:18:09,666 --> 00:18:12,500
on Rockaway Boulevard,
456
00:18:12,533 --> 00:18:15,666
that numbskull...
457
00:18:15,700 --> 00:18:20,833
would be on a plane for Seattle
right now...
458
00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:24,166
instead of looking
for a parking space
459
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,033
downstairs.
460
00:18:26,066 --> 00:18:27,200
Oh.
461
00:18:27,233 --> 00:18:28,500
There, there.
There, there.
462
00:18:28,533 --> 00:18:30,666
Hey, the busboy's coming.
463
00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:33,000
The busboy's coming!
464
00:18:33,033 --> 00:18:34,500
The busboy's coming?
465
00:18:34,533 --> 00:18:36,000
You don't mean here?
466
00:18:36,033 --> 00:18:38,166
Yeah. I just buzzed him in.
He's on his way up.
467
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:38,453
He's coming up?
468
00:18:38,453 --> 00:18:39,166
He's coming up?
469
00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:40,166
Check you out later.
470
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,566
Where are you going?
471
00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:43,400
He's coming
to settle the score.
472
00:18:43,433 --> 00:18:45,233
No, you three
all know each other.
473
00:18:45,266 --> 00:18:47,133
There's no point
in me getting involved
474
00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:48,366
at this stage
of the game--
475
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,000
He's not going to do anything.
I guarantee it.
476
00:18:51,033 --> 00:18:53,666
Oh, the hell with it!
Let him kill me. I-- I--
477
00:18:53,700 --> 00:18:54,666
Antonio!
478
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:57,533
Antonio, in here.
479
00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:02,200
Hey, Antonio, how's it going?
480
00:19:03,266 --> 00:19:05,500
Three nights ago...
481
00:19:05,533 --> 00:19:08,453
A gas main
beneath the restaurant exploded,
482
00:19:08,453 --> 00:19:09,333
A gas main
beneath the restaurant exploded,
483
00:19:09,366 --> 00:19:12,833
killing five people
in my section,
484
00:19:12,866 --> 00:19:15,366
Including the busboy
who replaced me.
485
00:19:15,400 --> 00:19:17,466
I-- I-- I-- I--
486
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:21,166
If I'm not fired that night
because of you
487
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:25,800
and your thoughtless,
stupid, insensitive remarks,
488
00:19:25,833 --> 00:19:28,100
it would have been me.
489
00:19:31,033 --> 00:19:33,333
You saved my life!
490
00:19:36,866 --> 00:19:38,453
Come on...
491
00:19:38,453 --> 00:19:39,733
Come on...
492
00:19:39,766 --> 00:19:41,500
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
493
00:19:41,533 --> 00:19:42,500
Yeah?
494
00:19:42,533 --> 00:19:43,500
It's Eddie.
495
00:19:43,533 --> 00:19:44,800
He's coming up.
496
00:19:44,833 --> 00:19:46,833
And the very same night
of the accident,
497
00:19:46,866 --> 00:19:48,500
while looking for Paquita,
498
00:19:48,533 --> 00:19:50,966
I find a job in a restaurant
499
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,900
Where they pay me almost twice
what I was making before.
500
00:19:53,933 --> 00:19:55,166
And...
501
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:57,800
when I returned
to the apartment,
502
00:19:57,833 --> 00:20:01,033
Paquita, perhaps
frightened from the explosion,
503
00:20:01,066 --> 00:20:03,366
had miraculously returned.
504
00:20:04,766 --> 00:20:06,066
Well...
505
00:20:06,100 --> 00:20:07,566
Now I must go.
506
00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:08,453
For today, I am starting
my new and wonderful job,
507
00:20:08,453 --> 00:20:11,400
For today, I am starting
my new and wonderful job,
508
00:20:11,433 --> 00:20:14,700
and I am-- I am very late.
509
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:18,333
Thank you.
510
00:20:18,366 --> 00:20:21,600
Thank you.
Thank you all.
511
00:20:28,100 --> 00:20:30,166
ED: Hey, watch
where you're going.
512
00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:31,500
You almost
knocked my head off.
513
00:20:31,533 --> 00:20:32,733
ANTONIO:
Hey, why don't you
514
00:20:32,766 --> 00:20:34,333
watch where
you're going, okay?
515
00:20:34,366 --> 00:20:35,533
Because you bumped
into me.
516
00:20:35,566 --> 00:20:38,453
Who do you think
you're talking to, pal?
517
00:20:38,453 --> 00:20:38,500
Who do you think
you're talking to, pal?
518
00:20:38,533 --> 00:20:41,000
Hey, get your hands
off me!
519
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:42,400
You go to hell!
520
00:20:42,433 --> 00:20:43,900
[YELLING IN SPANISH]
521
00:20:43,933 --> 00:20:46,533
[MEN CRASHING DOWN STAIRS]
522
00:20:46,566 --> 00:20:49,533
[ANTONIO AND ED
CURSING AND FALLING]
523
00:20:56,266 --> 00:20:58,700
He'll get another job.
524
00:20:58,733 --> 00:20:59,866
He's a busboy.
525
00:20:59,900 --> 00:21:01,900
It won't be
for a while.
526
00:21:01,933 --> 00:21:04,000
At least not till
after the cast comes off.
527
00:21:04,033 --> 00:21:06,300
It was that fall down
the stairs, that's what did it.
528
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:08,233
That's not
how it happened.
529
00:21:08,266 --> 00:21:08,453
It's when he fell on him
with his knee.
530
00:21:08,453 --> 00:21:11,233
It's when he fell on him
with his knee.
531
00:21:11,266 --> 00:21:13,100
Ugh. That was awful.
Poor Antonio.
532
00:21:14,366 --> 00:21:16,000
Oh. Thanks.
533
00:21:16,033 --> 00:21:18,500
So... much longer?
534
00:21:18,533 --> 00:21:19,500
Till when?
535
00:21:19,533 --> 00:21:21,666
Till he goes back
to Seattle,
536
00:21:21,700 --> 00:21:24,266
or till he can
feed himself?
537
00:21:26,533 --> 00:21:29,433
I guess
it's not important.
538
00:21:31,866 --> 00:21:35,000
Take care of yourselves.
539
00:21:35,033 --> 00:21:37,400
I should probably
get going too.
540
00:21:37,433 --> 00:21:38,453
If I don't feed Paquita by 7:00,
she goes all over everything.
541
00:21:38,453 --> 00:21:40,066
If I don't feed Paquita by 7:00,
she goes all over everything.
542
00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:41,900
Mm.
543
00:21:41,933 --> 00:21:43,400
Take it easy.
544
00:21:43,433 --> 00:21:44,500
Yeah.
545
00:21:47,900 --> 00:21:50,566
How are you doing?
546
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:54,500
First of all, I can't believe
that people actually do fight.
547
00:21:54,533 --> 00:21:57,000
People have fistfights in life.
548
00:21:57,033 --> 00:22:00,066
And I can't really believe
we have boxing, either.
549
00:22:00,100 --> 00:22:01,566
It's really
kind of an amazing thing.
550
00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,066
To me, the problem with boxing
551
00:22:03,100 --> 00:22:05,400
is you have two guys
having a fight
552
00:22:05,433 --> 00:22:07,400
that have no prior argument.
553
00:22:07,433 --> 00:22:08,453
Why don't they have the boxers
554
00:22:08,453 --> 00:22:08,666
Why don't they have the boxers
555
00:22:08,700 --> 00:22:10,200
come into the ring
in little cars,
556
00:22:10,233 --> 00:22:12,733
drive around a little bit,
have a little accident,
557
00:22:12,766 --> 00:22:13,900
they get out--
558
00:22:13,933 --> 00:22:15,733
"Did you see my signal?
Look at that fender!"
559
00:22:15,766 --> 00:22:17,766
Then you'd see a real fight.
560
00:22:26,100 --> 00:22:28,566
[♪]
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