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1
00:00:01,362 --> 00:00:02,345
Whenever I see the news,
2
00:00:02,379 --> 00:00:05,461
and they're hauling in
some criminal terrorist
3
00:00:05,494 --> 00:00:07,761
psycho maniac mass murderer guy,
4
00:00:07,795 --> 00:00:10,297
you notice he's always
covering up his face
5
00:00:10,330 --> 00:00:12,064
with the newspaper,
with the jacket, with the hat?
6
00:00:12,097 --> 00:00:13,530
What is he worried about?
7
00:00:13,564 --> 00:00:15,530
I mean,
what is this man's reputation
8
00:00:15,564 --> 00:00:19,030
that he has to worry
about this kind of exposure
9
00:00:19,064 --> 00:00:21,497
damaging his good name?
10
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:24,052
I mean, what is he,
11
00:00:24,092 --> 00:00:26,914
up for a big job promotion
down at the office or something?
12
00:00:26,947 --> 00:00:29,328
Afraid the boss
will catch this on TV
13
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:30,000
and go,
"Isn't that Johnson from Sales?
14
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:33,163
and go,
"Isn't that Johnson from Sales?
15
00:00:33,196 --> 00:00:34,397
"He's up in that clock tower
16
00:00:34,430 --> 00:00:35,864
"picking people off one by one.
17
00:00:35,897 --> 00:00:38,397
"I don't know
if that's the kind of man
18
00:00:38,430 --> 00:00:40,897
"we want heading up
that new branch office.
19
00:00:40,930 --> 00:00:43,397
"he should be
in Bill Collection.
20
00:00:43,430 --> 00:00:45,997
I think he's got aptitude."
21
00:00:53,306 --> 00:00:54,488
[CHUCKLES]
22
00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:56,288
She was great.
23
00:00:57,287 --> 00:00:59,053
You don't want to know.
24
00:00:59,087 --> 00:01:03,787
Hey, remind me to tell you
what we did in Lake George, huh?
25
00:01:03,820 --> 00:01:05,287
Get this.
26
00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:07,587
I got it all on video.
27
00:01:07,620 --> 00:01:09,587
That's it. This is it.
28
00:01:10,787 --> 00:01:12,720
I'm done. Through.
It's over.
29
00:01:12,753 --> 00:01:14,220
I'm gone. Finished. Over.
30
00:01:14,253 --> 00:01:16,220
I will never work for you again.
31
00:01:16,253 --> 00:01:17,553
Look at you.
32
00:01:17,587 --> 00:01:18,131
You think you're
an important man?
33
00:01:18,131 --> 00:01:18,720
You think you're
an important man?
34
00:01:18,753 --> 00:01:19,753
Is that what you think?
35
00:01:19,787 --> 00:01:21,220
You are a laughingstock.
36
00:01:21,253 --> 00:01:22,720
You are a joke.
37
00:01:22,753 --> 00:01:24,653
These people
are laughing at you.
38
00:01:24,687 --> 00:01:25,787
You're nothing.
39
00:01:25,820 --> 00:01:29,787
You have no brains,
no ability, nothing.
40
00:01:29,820 --> 00:01:31,920
I quit!
41
00:01:38,253 --> 00:01:39,387
Hey.
Hey.
42
00:01:39,420 --> 00:01:41,620
Boy, I have really
had it with Newman.
43
00:01:41,653 --> 00:01:43,653
He wakes me up
again last night
44
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:44,887
at 3:00 in the morning
45
00:01:44,920 --> 00:01:46,920
to tell me he's going
up onto the roof
46
00:01:46,953 --> 00:01:47,953
to kill himself.
47
00:01:47,987 --> 00:01:48,131
Well, what did you say?
48
00:01:48,131 --> 00:01:48,953
Well, what did you say?
49
00:01:48,987 --> 00:01:51,720
I said, "Jump."
50
00:01:51,753 --> 00:01:54,120
He's been threatening
to do this for years.
51
00:01:54,153 --> 00:01:56,220
I said, "If you're going
to kill yourself,
52
00:01:56,253 --> 00:01:57,220
"do it already
53
00:01:57,253 --> 00:01:58,720
and stop
bothering me."
54
00:01:58,753 --> 00:02:01,453
At least I'd respect the guy
for accomplishing something.
55
00:02:02,953 --> 00:02:04,053
What's his problem?
56
00:02:04,087 --> 00:02:05,887
No job, no women.
57
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:09,420
He called the right guy.
58
00:02:09,453 --> 00:02:11,220
I mean, what am I supposed
to tell him?
59
00:02:11,253 --> 00:02:13,153
How much there is
for him to live for?
60
00:02:13,187 --> 00:02:15,720
Why should I lie to him?
61
00:02:15,753 --> 00:02:18,131
All right, I'm leaving.
I'm going to the laundry.
62
00:02:18,131 --> 00:02:18,320
All right, I'm leaving.
I'm going to the laundry.
63
00:02:18,353 --> 00:02:20,987
Why don't you use the machines
down in the basement?
64
00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:23,453
Fluff and fold,
the only way to live.
65
00:02:23,487 --> 00:02:26,453
I drop it off, I pick it up.
66
00:02:26,487 --> 00:02:27,920
It's a delight.
67
00:02:27,953 --> 00:02:29,720
How about if I
put a few things--
68
00:02:29,753 --> 00:02:31,487
Wait a second.
I don't want to do that--
69
00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:32,720
No, you're going over there--
70
00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:34,620
No, I don't want
to mix in everything.
71
00:02:35,787 --> 00:02:38,387
My guys don't know your guys.
72
00:02:38,420 --> 00:02:42,887
You can't just lock them all
in the same machine together.
73
00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:44,320
They'll start a riot.
74
00:02:44,353 --> 00:02:46,387
Have you ever met my guys?
75
00:02:46,420 --> 00:02:48,131
No, I can't say as I have.
76
00:02:48,131 --> 00:02:48,153
No, I can't say as I have.
77
00:02:48,187 --> 00:02:49,553
Well...
78
00:02:49,587 --> 00:02:51,753
All right, put them on top.
79
00:02:51,787 --> 00:02:53,620
On top.
80
00:02:53,653 --> 00:02:55,953
Oh, beautiful.
81
00:02:55,987 --> 00:02:58,220
This stuff on top
is my friend's.
82
00:02:58,253 --> 00:03:00,653
could I get it done
in a separate machine?
83
00:03:00,687 --> 00:03:02,320
I'll have to charge you
for another machine.
84
00:03:02,353 --> 00:03:03,553
Whatever it costs.
85
00:03:03,587 --> 00:03:05,053
In fact, I would prefer it
86
00:03:05,087 --> 00:03:08,553
if the machines are not even
touching each other,
87
00:03:08,587 --> 00:03:10,953
because something could,
you know, jump across.
88
00:03:12,453 --> 00:03:13,753
Guess what?
89
00:03:15,620 --> 00:03:16,987
How did you know
I was here?
90
00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:18,131
Kramer. Guess what?
91
00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:18,287
Kramer. Guess what?
92
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:19,487
I don't know.
93
00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:20,553
I quit my job.
94
00:03:20,587 --> 00:03:21,553
Get out of here.
95
00:03:21,587 --> 00:03:23,220
I couldn't take it
anymore.
96
00:03:23,253 --> 00:03:25,487
You can have this
on Monday.
97
00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:26,920
What happened? Levitan?
98
00:03:26,953 --> 00:03:28,920
I go in to use
his private bathroom,
99
00:03:28,953 --> 00:03:30,387
everybody uses it,
100
00:03:30,420 --> 00:03:32,087
and then I get a memo--
a memo--
101
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:35,087
telling me to use
the men's room in the hall.
102
00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:37,553
I mean, we share it
with Pace Electronics.
103
00:03:37,587 --> 00:03:38,587
It's disgusting.
104
00:03:38,620 --> 00:03:40,387
You and your toilets.
105
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:44,253
I snapped.
It was the last straw.
106
00:03:44,287 --> 00:03:45,887
So what are you
going to do now?
107
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:46,887
Are you going to look
108
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:48,131
for something else
in real estate?
109
00:03:48,131 --> 00:03:48,220
for something else
in real estate?
110
00:03:48,253 --> 00:03:49,753
Nobody's hiring now.
The market's terrible.
111
00:03:49,787 --> 00:03:51,520
So what are you
going to do?
112
00:03:57,587 --> 00:03:59,320
I like sports.
I could do something in sports.
113
00:04:02,253 --> 00:04:04,420
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
114
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,753
In what capacity?
115
00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:09,720
You know,
116
00:04:09,753 --> 00:04:12,587
like the general manager
of a baseball team.
117
00:04:15,787 --> 00:04:18,131
Yeah, well,
that can be tough to get.
118
00:04:18,131 --> 00:04:18,887
Yeah, well,
that can be tough to get.
119
00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:21,387
Well, it doesn't even have to be
the general manager.
120
00:04:21,420 --> 00:04:23,953
Maybe I could be, like,
an announcer,
121
00:04:23,987 --> 00:04:25,320
like a color man.
122
00:04:25,353 --> 00:04:27,553
You know, how I always make
those interesting comments
123
00:04:27,587 --> 00:04:28,587
during the game?
124
00:04:30,753 --> 00:04:32,653
Yeah, yeah,
you make good comments.
125
00:04:32,687 --> 00:04:33,720
So what about that?
126
00:04:33,753 --> 00:04:35,087
Well, you know,
127
00:04:35,120 --> 00:04:38,220
they tend to give those jobs
to ex-ballplayers
128
00:04:38,253 --> 00:04:42,753
and people that are, you know,
in broadcasting.
129
00:04:46,253 --> 00:04:48,131
Well, that's really not fair.
130
00:04:48,131 --> 00:04:48,320
Well, that's really not fair.
131
00:04:48,353 --> 00:04:50,387
I know.
132
00:04:50,420 --> 00:04:53,320
Well, okay, okay.
133
00:04:53,353 --> 00:04:55,387
What else do you like?
134
00:04:55,420 --> 00:04:57,487
Movies. I like to watch movies.
135
00:04:57,520 --> 00:05:00,453
Yeah, yeah.
136
00:05:00,487 --> 00:05:02,387
Do they pay people
to watch movies?
137
00:05:02,420 --> 00:05:04,987
Projectionists.
138
00:05:06,920 --> 00:05:08,120
That's true.
139
00:05:08,153 --> 00:05:11,420
But you got to know
how to work the projector.
140
00:05:11,453 --> 00:05:13,387
Right.
141
00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:15,387
And it's probably a union thing.
142
00:05:15,420 --> 00:05:18,131
Those unions.
143
00:05:18,131 --> 00:05:19,153
Those unions.
144
00:05:19,187 --> 00:05:20,887
Okay, sports...
145
00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:25,220
movies...
146
00:05:25,253 --> 00:05:26,787
What about a talk show host?
147
00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:31,387
Talk show host, that's good.
148
00:05:31,420 --> 00:05:32,953
I think I'd be good at that.
149
00:05:32,987 --> 00:05:35,220
I talk to people all the time.
150
00:05:35,253 --> 00:05:37,887
Someone told me they thought
I'd be a good talk show host.
151
00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:41,487
Really?
Yeah, a couple
of people.
152
00:05:43,753 --> 00:05:45,920
How do you get that, though?
Where do you start?
153
00:05:45,953 --> 00:05:48,131
Well, that's where
it gets tricky.
154
00:05:48,131 --> 00:05:49,387
Well, that's where
it gets tricky.
155
00:05:49,420 --> 00:05:51,220
You can't just
walk into a building and say,
156
00:05:51,253 --> 00:05:53,120
"I want to be a talk show host."
157
00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:54,887
I wouldn't think so.
158
00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,620
It's all politics.
159
00:05:57,653 --> 00:05:58,820
All right, okay,
160
00:05:58,853 --> 00:06:01,720
sports, movies,
talk show hosts.
161
00:06:01,753 --> 00:06:03,953
What else?
162
00:06:07,853 --> 00:06:10,220
This could have been
a huge mistake.
163
00:06:10,253 --> 00:06:12,220
Yeah, well, it doesn't sound
164
00:06:12,253 --> 00:06:14,787
like you completely
thought this through.
165
00:06:14,820 --> 00:06:16,253
Guess not.
166
00:06:16,287 --> 00:06:18,131
What should I do?
167
00:06:18,131 --> 00:06:18,653
What should I do?
168
00:06:18,687 --> 00:06:20,820
Maybe you can just go back.
169
00:06:20,853 --> 00:06:22,153
Go back?
170
00:06:22,187 --> 00:06:23,220
Yeah.
171
00:06:23,253 --> 00:06:25,087
Yeah.
Pretend like it never happened.
172
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,953
You mean just walk
into the staff meeting
173
00:06:26,987 --> 00:06:28,087
on Monday morning
174
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:29,453
like it never happened?
175
00:06:29,487 --> 00:06:31,720
Sure. You're
an emotional person.
176
00:06:31,753 --> 00:06:35,787
People don't
take you seriously.
177
00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:37,653
Just go back.
178
00:06:37,687 --> 00:06:40,387
Pretend the whole thing
never happened.
179
00:06:40,420 --> 00:06:41,387
Never happened.
180
00:06:41,420 --> 00:06:43,553
I was blowing off
a little steam. So what?
181
00:06:43,587 --> 00:06:45,920
So what? You're entitled.
182
00:06:45,953 --> 00:06:47,120
I'm emotional.
183
00:06:47,153 --> 00:06:48,131
That's right, you're emotional.
184
00:06:48,131 --> 00:06:49,253
That's right, you're emotional.
185
00:06:49,287 --> 00:06:50,820
Never happened.
186
00:06:50,853 --> 00:06:52,787
Never happened.
187
00:06:54,453 --> 00:06:55,653
To me, the most annoying thing
188
00:06:55,687 --> 00:06:59,820
about the couple of times
I did work in an office
189
00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,620
is that when you go in
in the morning,
190
00:07:01,653 --> 00:07:03,387
you say hi to everyone,
191
00:07:03,420 --> 00:07:04,987
and then for some reason,
throughout the day,
192
00:07:05,020 --> 00:07:07,387
you have to continue
to greet these people
193
00:07:07,420 --> 00:07:10,553
all day,
every time you see them.
194
00:07:10,587 --> 00:07:12,553
You walk in,
"Morning, Bill. Morning, Bob.
195
00:07:12,587 --> 00:07:13,887
How you doing? Fine."
196
00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,653
10 minutes later,
you see them in the hall.
197
00:07:15,687 --> 00:07:16,653
"How you doing?"
198
00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:18,131
Every time you pass,
199
00:07:18,131 --> 00:07:18,553
Every time you pass,
200
00:07:18,587 --> 00:07:20,553
you got to come up
with another little greeting.
201
00:07:20,587 --> 00:07:22,053
You know, you start
racking your brains.
202
00:07:22,087 --> 00:07:24,053
You know,
you do the little eyebrow.
203
00:07:24,087 --> 00:07:26,553
You know, "Hey."
204
00:07:26,587 --> 00:07:29,487
Start coming up
with nicknames for them.
205
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:30,687
"Jimbo."
206
00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:40,087
How you doing?
207
00:07:40,120 --> 00:07:41,420
What are you doing here?
208
00:07:41,453 --> 00:07:44,753
What? I work here.
209
00:07:44,787 --> 00:07:46,387
I thought you quit.
210
00:07:46,420 --> 00:07:48,131
What quit?
211
00:07:48,131 --> 00:07:48,387
What quit?
212
00:07:48,420 --> 00:07:50,253
Who quit?
213
00:07:52,420 --> 00:07:54,220
Bill, how was your weekend?
214
00:07:54,253 --> 00:07:56,820
Oh, excellent weekend.
What about your weekend?
215
00:07:56,853 --> 00:07:57,887
Fine weekend.
216
00:07:57,920 --> 00:07:59,387
Yeah, good weekend.
217
00:07:59,420 --> 00:08:02,953
Went up to the Cape.
Took the kids sailing.
218
00:08:02,987 --> 00:08:04,453
Lisa was a little scared
at first,
219
00:08:04,487 --> 00:08:06,653
but that kids gonna be
a good sailor some day.
220
00:08:06,687 --> 00:08:08,653
Oh, she'll be a fine sailor.
221
00:08:12,253 --> 00:08:14,820
Ava, what happened to you
Friday afternoon?
222
00:08:14,853 --> 00:08:16,087
Oh, I got tied up.
223
00:08:16,120 --> 00:08:18,131
I'll bet you did.
224
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:18,320
I'll bet you did.
225
00:08:18,353 --> 00:08:20,220
[GUFFAWS]
226
00:08:20,253 --> 00:08:22,220
I want
to remind everyone
227
00:08:22,253 --> 00:08:24,053
that the 10th
anniversary party
228
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,453
for Rick Barr Properties
229
00:08:25,487 --> 00:08:27,553
is gonna be Wednesday afternoon
at 4:00
230
00:08:27,587 --> 00:08:30,553
in Lasky's Bar
on Madison and 48th.
231
00:08:30,587 --> 00:08:32,253
I want all of you to be there.
232
00:08:32,287 --> 00:08:33,687
This really means a lot to me.
233
00:08:36,853 --> 00:08:38,987
Is that Costanza over there?
234
00:08:40,687 --> 00:08:41,953
What are you doing here?
235
00:08:41,987 --> 00:08:44,253
What?
236
00:08:44,287 --> 00:08:47,420
Am I crazy or didn't you quit?
237
00:08:47,453 --> 00:08:48,131
When?
238
00:08:48,131 --> 00:08:48,753
When?
239
00:08:48,787 --> 00:08:50,153
Friday.
240
00:08:50,187 --> 00:08:51,653
Oh, what? What? That?
241
00:08:51,687 --> 00:08:54,087
Are you kidding?
I didn't quit.
242
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,953
Why? You took that
seriously?
243
00:08:55,987 --> 00:08:57,253
Oh, boy.
244
00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,387
You mean "laughingstock,"
all that stuff...?
245
00:08:59,420 --> 00:09:00,987
Come on,
will you stop it?
246
00:09:01,020 --> 00:09:03,053
"No brains, no ability."
247
00:09:03,087 --> 00:09:04,487
Teasing.
248
00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:06,887
Okay, I want you out of here.
249
00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:08,920
I don't know where
you're getting this from.
250
00:09:08,953 --> 00:09:10,453
I...
251
00:09:10,487 --> 00:09:12,053
You're serious,
aren't you?
252
00:09:12,087 --> 00:09:13,553
Oh, you see,
253
00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:16,553
you just... you don't know
my sense of humor.
254
00:09:16,587 --> 00:09:17,553
I mean, Dan,
255
00:09:17,587 --> 00:09:18,131
don't I joke around
all the time?
256
00:09:18,131 --> 00:09:19,553
don't I joke around
all the time?
257
00:09:19,587 --> 00:09:22,820
I wouldn't say
all the time.
258
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:24,220
You can't win.
259
00:09:24,253 --> 00:09:25,887
You can't beat me.
260
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:30,053
That's why I'm here,
and you're there.
261
00:09:30,087 --> 00:09:32,420
Because I'm a winner.
262
00:09:32,453 --> 00:09:35,287
I'll always be a winner,
263
00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:39,420
and you'll always be a loser.
264
00:09:44,653 --> 00:09:47,453
"I'll always be a winner,
and you'll always be a loser."
265
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:48,131
This is what he said to me.
266
00:09:48,131 --> 00:09:48,820
This is what he said to me.
267
00:09:48,853 --> 00:09:50,453
Well, so that's that.
268
00:09:50,487 --> 00:09:51,753
No, that's not that.
269
00:09:51,787 --> 00:09:52,953
That's not that?
270
00:09:52,987 --> 00:09:54,220
No.
271
00:09:54,253 --> 00:09:56,453
Well, if that's not that,
what is that?
272
00:09:56,487 --> 00:09:58,653
I got some plans.
I got plans.
273
00:09:58,687 --> 00:10:00,153
What kind of plans?
274
00:10:00,187 --> 00:10:01,653
What's the difference?
275
00:10:01,687 --> 00:10:03,587
You don't want
to tell me?
276
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:09,853
I'm going to slip him a mickey.
277
00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:13,487
What, in his drink?
278
00:10:13,520 --> 00:10:15,987
Are you out of your mind?
279
00:10:16,020 --> 00:10:18,131
What are you,
Peter Lorre?
280
00:10:18,131 --> 00:10:18,587
What are you,
Peter Lorre?
281
00:10:18,620 --> 00:10:19,987
You don't understand.
282
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:22,287
He's got this big party
coming up.
283
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:23,887
He's been looking forward
to this for months.
284
00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:25,953
This is going to destroy
the whole thing.
285
00:10:25,987 --> 00:10:27,120
What if you destroy him?
286
00:10:27,153 --> 00:10:28,787
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't worry.
287
00:10:28,820 --> 00:10:29,887
It's perfectly safe.
288
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:30,953
I researched it.
289
00:10:30,987 --> 00:10:32,953
He'll get a little woozy.
290
00:10:32,987 --> 00:10:35,953
He might keel over.
291
00:10:35,987 --> 00:10:37,087
Well, what does that do?
292
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,220
Big deal.
293
00:10:38,253 --> 00:10:40,220
This is what they would do
in the movies.
294
00:10:40,253 --> 00:10:41,453
It's the beautiful thing.
295
00:10:41,487 --> 00:10:43,087
It's like a movie.
296
00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:46,053
I'm going to slip him a mickey.
297
00:10:46,087 --> 00:10:48,087
You've really gone mental.
298
00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:48,131
Where are you going to get
this mickey?
299
00:10:48,131 --> 00:10:50,553
Where are you going to get
this mickey?
300
00:10:50,587 --> 00:10:55,153
I can't believe
I'm saying "mickey."
301
00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:56,720
I got a source.
302
00:10:56,753 --> 00:10:59,320
You got a mickey source?
303
00:11:01,753 --> 00:11:05,120
And Elaine
is going to keep him busy.
304
00:11:05,153 --> 00:11:06,120
Elaine?
305
00:11:06,153 --> 00:11:07,487
How did you rope her into this?
306
00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:10,287
I told her what a sexist he is,
how he cheats on his wife.
307
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:11,620
She knew that.
308
00:11:11,653 --> 00:11:13,287
But she didn't know
he doesn't recycle.
309
00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:14,787
What is the point
310
00:11:14,820 --> 00:11:15,787
of all this?
311
00:11:15,820 --> 00:11:17,053
Revenge.
312
00:11:17,087 --> 00:11:18,131
Oh, the best revenge
is living well.
313
00:11:18,131 --> 00:11:19,287
Oh, the best revenge
is living well.
314
00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:22,653
There's no chance of that.
315
00:11:27,987 --> 00:11:31,787
[WHISTLING]
316
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:34,324
Did you get
your laundry?
317
00:11:34,357 --> 00:11:38,257
Yeah.
318
00:11:38,290 --> 00:11:39,457
What's with you?
319
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,524
He jumped.
320
00:11:41,557 --> 00:11:43,857
What?
321
00:11:43,890 --> 00:11:46,157
Yeah, Newman jumped.
322
00:11:46,190 --> 00:11:48,024
Did he call last night?
323
00:11:48,057 --> 00:11:51,090
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
324
00:11:51,124 --> 00:11:52,490
What did you say?
325
00:11:52,524 --> 00:11:53,683
I said, "Wave to me
when you pass my window."
326
00:11:53,683 --> 00:11:56,657
I said, "Wave to me
when you pass my window."
327
00:11:56,690 --> 00:11:58,657
Whew.
328
00:11:58,690 --> 00:12:00,190
Did he wave?
329
00:12:03,357 --> 00:12:06,657
No. He jumped
from the second floor.
330
00:12:06,690 --> 00:12:08,157
Mr. Papanickolas saw him
331
00:12:08,190 --> 00:12:09,424
from across the street.
332
00:12:09,457 --> 00:12:11,257
He's lying out there faking.
333
00:12:11,290 --> 00:12:13,824
See, he's trying
to get back at me.
334
00:12:17,024 --> 00:12:18,657
Oh, my God.
What?
335
00:12:18,690 --> 00:12:19,657
What's the matter?
336
00:12:19,690 --> 00:12:21,090
Oh, on Thursday
when I came home,
337
00:12:21,124 --> 00:12:22,290
I had $1,500 on me.
338
00:12:22,324 --> 00:12:23,424
For some reason,
339
00:12:23,457 --> 00:12:23,683
I decided to I hide it
in my laundry bag,
340
00:12:23,683 --> 00:12:25,424
I decided to I hide it
in my laundry bag,
341
00:12:25,457 --> 00:12:28,257
and then I completely
forgot about it,
342
00:12:28,290 --> 00:12:29,657
and then I took
the laundry in
343
00:12:29,690 --> 00:12:31,357
on Friday.
344
00:12:33,157 --> 00:12:35,124
Oh, come on, let's go.
345
00:12:35,157 --> 00:12:36,124
Where? Where?
346
00:12:36,157 --> 00:12:37,924
To the Laundromat.
347
00:12:37,957 --> 00:12:39,424
I never saw it.
348
00:12:39,457 --> 00:12:41,257
Okay, come on,
give the guy his money.
349
00:12:41,290 --> 00:12:42,990
What are you doing?
350
00:12:43,024 --> 00:12:44,524
Hey.
351
00:12:44,557 --> 00:12:46,257
You see that sign
up there?
352
00:12:46,290 --> 00:12:48,024
Oh, I see,
so you put up a sign
353
00:12:48,057 --> 00:12:49,457
so you can do
whatever you want.
354
00:12:49,490 --> 00:12:50,857
You are not a part
of society.
355
00:12:50,890 --> 00:12:51,857
Yeah, that's right,
356
00:12:51,890 --> 00:12:53,683
because this place
is my country,
357
00:12:53,683 --> 00:12:54,590
because this place
is my country,
358
00:12:54,624 --> 00:12:55,690
and I'm the president,
359
00:12:55,724 --> 00:12:58,990
and that's my constitution.
360
00:12:59,024 --> 00:13:01,024
I'm not responsible.
361
00:13:01,057 --> 00:13:03,090
So anybody
leaves anything here,
362
00:13:03,124 --> 00:13:04,657
you could just take it.
363
00:13:04,690 --> 00:13:05,824
You have a license
to steal.
364
00:13:05,857 --> 00:13:07,190
You are like
the James Bond
365
00:13:07,224 --> 00:13:10,657
of laundry.
366
00:13:10,690 --> 00:13:11,990
You ever hear of a bank?
367
00:13:12,024 --> 00:13:13,490
Come on, let's go.
368
00:13:13,524 --> 00:13:15,524
No, no, you can't let him
get away with this.
369
00:13:18,157 --> 00:13:19,457
[JAZZ PIANO PLAYING SOFTLY]
370
00:13:19,490 --> 00:13:20,790
ELAINE:
Which one is he?
371
00:13:20,824 --> 00:13:23,157
That's him over there.
372
00:13:23,190 --> 00:13:23,683
The one that looks
like a blowfish.
373
00:13:23,683 --> 00:13:26,824
The one that looks
like a blowfish.
374
00:13:26,857 --> 00:13:29,290
Oh, yeah, I see him.
375
00:13:29,324 --> 00:13:30,490
Yeah.
376
00:13:30,524 --> 00:13:32,790
Hey, thanks
for doing this.
377
00:13:32,824 --> 00:13:34,257
Why pass up
the opportunity
378
00:13:34,290 --> 00:13:36,024
to go to prison?
379
00:13:36,057 --> 00:13:37,257
This is by far
380
00:13:37,290 --> 00:13:39,357
the most exciting thing
I've ever done.
381
00:13:39,390 --> 00:13:40,657
Yeah, it is
kind of cool.
382
00:13:40,690 --> 00:13:42,624
It's the first time
in my life
383
00:13:42,657 --> 00:13:43,990
I've ever gotten back
at someone.
384
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,190
I can't believe
we're doing this.
385
00:13:45,224 --> 00:13:47,624
This is the kind of thing
they do in the movies.
386
00:13:47,657 --> 00:13:49,490
That's exactly
what I told Jerry.
387
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:50,490
Really?
388
00:13:50,524 --> 00:13:51,524
Yes.
389
00:13:51,557 --> 00:13:53,683
God, I've never
felt so alive.
390
00:13:53,683 --> 00:13:54,824
God, I've never
felt so alive.
391
00:14:02,557 --> 00:14:04,424
Maybe we should call this off.
392
00:14:04,457 --> 00:14:06,324
Come on.
What's the big deal?
393
00:14:06,357 --> 00:14:07,924
We're just going to
put a little concrete
394
00:14:07,957 --> 00:14:09,224
in the washing machine.
395
00:14:11,357 --> 00:14:12,590
And what's going to happen?
396
00:14:12,624 --> 00:14:14,524
Well, it'll mix up
with the water,
397
00:14:14,557 --> 00:14:17,024
and then by the end
of the cycle,
398
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:19,090
it'll be a solid block.
399
00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:23,683
If only you could put your mind
to something worthwhile.
400
00:14:23,683 --> 00:14:24,324
If only you could put your mind
to something worthwhile.
401
00:14:24,357 --> 00:14:27,190
You're like Lex Luthor.
402
00:14:27,224 --> 00:14:29,524
You keep him busy.
403
00:14:44,990 --> 00:14:47,790
Oh!
404
00:14:51,157 --> 00:14:52,157
You go over there...
405
00:14:52,190 --> 00:14:53,157
Yeah.
406
00:14:53,190 --> 00:14:53,683
You start flirting
with him,
407
00:14:53,683 --> 00:14:54,324
You start flirting
with him,
408
00:14:54,357 --> 00:14:55,690
and I'll come by,
409
00:14:55,724 --> 00:14:56,924
and while you're
keeping him busy,
410
00:14:56,957 --> 00:14:58,990
I'll slip it in his drink.
411
00:14:59,024 --> 00:15:00,324
Wouldn't it be easier
412
00:15:00,357 --> 00:15:02,324
just to punch him
in the mouth?
413
00:15:02,357 --> 00:15:03,824
Come on.
414
00:15:03,857 --> 00:15:05,657
They're terrible.
415
00:15:05,690 --> 00:15:07,490
They got no infield.
416
00:15:08,790 --> 00:15:10,424
Oops! Excuse me.
417
00:15:10,457 --> 00:15:11,657
Yeah.
418
00:15:11,690 --> 00:15:12,657
I'm gonna
get some food.
419
00:15:12,690 --> 00:15:14,157
You want some?
420
00:15:14,190 --> 00:15:15,324
Nah.
421
00:15:15,357 --> 00:15:18,524
Hi.
422
00:15:18,557 --> 00:15:20,657
Hi.
423
00:15:26,357 --> 00:15:28,357
[MOCK-SNEEZES]
424
00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:33,757
God bless you.
425
00:15:33,790 --> 00:15:35,124
Oh...
426
00:15:35,157 --> 00:15:36,124
thank you.
427
00:15:36,157 --> 00:15:38,657
Thank you very much.
428
00:15:38,690 --> 00:15:42,457
[HONKS LOUDLY]
429
00:15:42,490 --> 00:15:43,924
Really, I mean that.
430
00:15:43,957 --> 00:15:45,590
I am not
one of those people
431
00:15:45,624 --> 00:15:46,824
who gives insincere
thank yous.
432
00:15:46,857 --> 00:15:49,424
No, sir. No, sir.
433
00:15:49,457 --> 00:15:51,357
When I thank somebody,
I really thank them.
434
00:15:51,390 --> 00:15:53,424
So, thank...
435
00:15:53,457 --> 00:15:53,683
you!
436
00:15:53,683 --> 00:15:54,657
you!
437
00:15:59,857 --> 00:16:01,090
You're welcome.
438
00:16:01,124 --> 00:16:02,490
People don't say
"God bless you"
439
00:16:02,524 --> 00:16:03,690
as much
as they used to.
440
00:16:03,724 --> 00:16:04,857
Have you noticed that?
441
00:16:06,690 --> 00:16:08,957
No.
442
00:16:16,957 --> 00:16:18,324
So, I'm going
to a nudist colony
443
00:16:18,357 --> 00:16:21,090
next week.
444
00:16:21,124 --> 00:16:22,990
Nudist colony?
445
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:23,683
Really?
446
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:24,490
Really?
447
00:16:24,524 --> 00:16:25,990
Oh, yeah, yeah.
448
00:16:26,024 --> 00:16:27,924
I love nudist colonies.
449
00:16:27,957 --> 00:16:30,990
They help me unwind.
Blah.
450
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:33,524
I've never been
to a nudist colony.
451
00:16:33,557 --> 00:16:34,657
Oh, really?
452
00:16:34,690 --> 00:16:35,790
Oh, you should go.
453
00:16:35,824 --> 00:16:36,824
They're great.
They're great.
454
00:16:36,857 --> 00:16:38,590
Of course,
when it's over,
455
00:16:38,624 --> 00:16:41,657
it's hard to get used
to all this clothing,
456
00:16:41,690 --> 00:16:42,924
so a lot of times
457
00:16:42,957 --> 00:16:44,490
I'll just lock the door
to my office
458
00:16:44,524 --> 00:16:46,257
and I'll just
sit there naked.
459
00:16:46,290 --> 00:16:48,457
Seriously?
460
00:16:48,490 --> 00:16:50,257
Oh, yeah.
461
00:16:50,290 --> 00:16:53,683
I usually work naked
a couple of hours a day.
462
00:16:53,683 --> 00:16:54,357
I usually work naked
a couple of hours a day.
463
00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:57,424
[WHISPERING]
Glenda,
464
00:16:57,457 --> 00:16:58,790
can I ask you
a favor?
465
00:16:58,824 --> 00:17:00,257
Could I have this seat?
466
00:17:00,290 --> 00:17:02,257
[LOUDLY]
What do you have
to sit here for?
467
00:17:02,290 --> 00:17:04,024
There are plenty
of other seats.
468
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:06,024
I can't explain.
469
00:17:06,057 --> 00:17:08,657
It's very important
that I sit here.
470
00:17:08,690 --> 00:17:09,824
What are you
doing here anyway?
471
00:17:09,857 --> 00:17:11,257
I thought
you were fired.
472
00:17:11,290 --> 00:17:12,957
Okay, okay.
473
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,024
Fine.
474
00:17:16,324 --> 00:17:17,824
I cook naked.
475
00:17:17,857 --> 00:17:21,324
I clean...
476
00:17:21,357 --> 00:17:22,790
I clean naked.
477
00:17:22,824 --> 00:17:23,683
I drive naked.
478
00:17:23,683 --> 00:17:25,824
I drive naked.
479
00:17:25,857 --> 00:17:28,357
Naked, naked, naked.
480
00:17:28,390 --> 00:17:30,790
Who are you?
481
00:17:30,824 --> 00:17:33,824
Oh, you don't want
to know, mister.
482
00:17:33,857 --> 00:17:35,024
I'm trouble.
483
00:17:35,057 --> 00:17:36,790
Big trouble.
484
00:17:47,624 --> 00:17:48,824
What about the gentle cycle?
485
00:17:48,857 --> 00:17:50,324
You ever use that?
486
00:17:58,857 --> 00:18:00,290
Do you think it's effeminate
487
00:18:00,324 --> 00:18:02,457
for a man to put clothes
in a gentle cycle?
488
00:18:07,157 --> 00:18:08,257
What about
fine fabrics?
489
00:18:08,290 --> 00:18:09,424
How do you deal
490
00:18:09,457 --> 00:18:10,724
with that kind
of temperament?
491
00:18:16,957 --> 00:18:18,257
What about stone-washing?
492
00:18:18,290 --> 00:18:19,424
You ever witness one of those?
493
00:18:19,457 --> 00:18:20,424
That must be something.
494
00:18:20,457 --> 00:18:21,590
What, do they just
495
00:18:21,624 --> 00:18:23,683
pummel the jeans
with rocks?
496
00:18:23,683 --> 00:18:24,290
pummel the jeans
with rocks?
497
00:18:27,157 --> 00:18:30,490
I didn't realize
it was a full box.
498
00:18:35,957 --> 00:18:37,924
I'm going to
count to three.
499
00:18:37,957 --> 00:18:39,690
If you don't
give up the chair,
500
00:18:39,724 --> 00:18:43,024
the wig is coming off.
501
00:18:43,057 --> 00:18:46,257
I don't wear a wig.
502
00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:49,290
One...
503
00:18:51,357 --> 00:18:52,524
No, no, no, no,
no, no.
504
00:18:52,557 --> 00:18:53,524
I'm sorry.
505
00:18:53,557 --> 00:18:53,683
I don't really
have a phone.
506
00:18:53,683 --> 00:18:54,757
I don't really
have a phone.
507
00:18:54,790 --> 00:18:56,357
In fact, I don't really
have an apartment.
508
00:18:56,390 --> 00:18:58,290
I kind of sleep around.
509
00:19:01,057 --> 00:19:03,924
I just like to have
a few drinks
510
00:19:03,957 --> 00:19:05,424
and then just
let the guy do
511
00:19:05,457 --> 00:19:06,824
whatever he wants.
512
00:19:08,957 --> 00:19:11,924
Uh, would you close
your eyes a second?
513
00:19:11,957 --> 00:19:15,557
I want to tell you
a secret about my bra.
514
00:19:20,457 --> 00:19:23,290
[LAUGHING]
515
00:19:23,324 --> 00:19:23,683
Hello, Rick.
516
00:19:23,683 --> 00:19:24,757
Hello, Rick.
517
00:19:24,790 --> 00:19:26,257
Hey, look who's here.
518
00:19:26,290 --> 00:19:27,990
That's right,
Ricky-boy.
519
00:19:28,024 --> 00:19:29,290
It's me.
520
00:19:29,324 --> 00:19:30,290
You know something, Costanza?
521
00:19:30,324 --> 00:19:32,257
I'm a very lucky man.
522
00:19:32,290 --> 00:19:33,757
I've always been lucky.
523
00:19:33,790 --> 00:19:36,524
Things just to seem to fall
right in my lap.
524
00:19:36,557 --> 00:19:37,757
Boom!
525
00:19:37,790 --> 00:19:40,790
You wouldn't believe it
if I told you.
526
00:19:40,824 --> 00:19:41,924
Oh...
In fact, uh...
527
00:19:41,957 --> 00:19:43,257
I'm glad you're here,
you know?
528
00:19:43,290 --> 00:19:46,424
Maybe I've been
a little rough on you.
529
00:19:46,457 --> 00:19:47,957
Oh...
530
00:19:47,990 --> 00:19:49,357
Why should we let petty
personal differences
531
00:19:49,390 --> 00:19:51,290
get in the way
of business?
532
00:19:51,324 --> 00:19:52,424
I, uh...
533
00:19:52,457 --> 00:19:53,683
I want you to come back,
534
00:19:53,683 --> 00:19:54,257
I want you to come back,
535
00:19:54,290 --> 00:19:55,590
and, uh...
536
00:19:55,624 --> 00:19:58,757
you can use my bathroom
any time you want.
537
00:19:58,790 --> 00:20:00,757
You want me
to come back?
538
00:20:00,790 --> 00:20:01,824
Yeah.
539
00:20:01,857 --> 00:20:04,357
Hey, how about
a toast, huh?
540
00:20:04,390 --> 00:20:05,824
Everybody, a toast!
541
00:20:05,857 --> 00:20:06,924
Rick, um...
542
00:20:06,957 --> 00:20:08,924
Everyone,
I want to propose a toast
543
00:20:08,957 --> 00:20:11,857
to 10 great years
at Rick Barr Properties...
544
00:20:11,890 --> 00:20:13,024
Uh, Rick...
545
00:20:13,057 --> 00:20:14,524
and all the people
in this room
546
00:20:14,557 --> 00:20:15,924
that made that possible.
547
00:20:15,957 --> 00:20:16,924
Rick...
548
00:20:16,957 --> 00:20:18,124
I'd also like
to welcome back
549
00:20:18,157 --> 00:20:19,124
into the fold, our...
550
00:20:19,157 --> 00:20:20,924
our little, shrimpy friend,
551
00:20:20,957 --> 00:20:22,090
George Costanza,
552
00:20:22,124 --> 00:20:23,424
who,
553
00:20:23,457 --> 00:20:23,683
although he really didn't
have a very good year--
554
00:20:23,683 --> 00:20:26,457
although he really didn't
have a very good year--
555
00:20:26,490 --> 00:20:29,290
how you blew that McConnel deal,
I'll never know,
556
00:20:29,324 --> 00:20:31,424
but what the hell, huh?
557
00:20:31,457 --> 00:20:32,590
we've always enjoyed
558
00:20:32,624 --> 00:20:33,724
his antics
around the office.
559
00:20:35,457 --> 00:20:36,790
Anything you want
to add to this?
560
00:20:40,224 --> 00:20:41,290
Drink up!
561
00:20:47,824 --> 00:20:50,857
I like history. The Civil War.
562
00:20:53,357 --> 00:20:53,683
Maybe I could be a professor
or something.
563
00:20:53,683 --> 00:20:56,357
Maybe I could be a professor
or something.
564
00:20:56,390 --> 00:20:58,757
Well, to teach something,
565
00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:01,924
you really have to know
a lot about it.
566
00:21:01,957 --> 00:21:04,424
I think
you need a degree.
567
00:21:04,457 --> 00:21:06,024
Yeah, that's true.
568
00:21:09,124 --> 00:21:10,090
Hey, don't...
569
00:21:10,124 --> 00:21:11,957
What?
570
00:21:15,324 --> 00:21:17,290
Oh, my God,
the money!
571
00:21:17,324 --> 00:21:18,424
The $1,500!
572
00:21:18,457 --> 00:21:19,824
Where'd you find it?
573
00:21:19,857 --> 00:21:22,190
It was in my laundry.
574
00:21:22,224 --> 00:21:23,683
In your laundry?
The whole time?
575
00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:26,357
In your laundry?
The whole time?
576
00:21:26,390 --> 00:21:31,024
I told you not
to mix in our guys.
577
00:21:31,057 --> 00:21:32,424
What did we figure
578
00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:33,490
the damage
on that machine
579
00:21:33,524 --> 00:21:34,590
would be?
580
00:21:34,624 --> 00:21:36,857
It was about 1,200 bucks.
581
00:21:38,057 --> 00:21:39,924
Kramer!
582
00:21:39,957 --> 00:21:42,424
That's Newman.
583
00:21:42,457 --> 00:21:44,157
I'm on the roof!
584
00:21:46,624 --> 00:21:51,757
Well? What are you waiting for?
585
00:21:51,790 --> 00:21:52,957
Elaine, come on,
586
00:21:52,990 --> 00:21:53,683
take a walk with me
down to the Laundromat.
587
00:21:53,683 --> 00:21:54,757
take a walk with me
down to the Laundromat.
588
00:21:54,790 --> 00:21:56,357
I got to pay this guy
the money.
589
00:21:56,390 --> 00:21:57,424
I like horses.
590
00:21:57,457 --> 00:21:59,657
Maybe I could be a stable boy.
591
00:21:59,690 --> 00:22:01,090
KRAMER: You want
to shoot some pool
592
00:22:01,124 --> 00:22:02,757
tonight?
593
00:22:02,790 --> 00:22:05,290
I can't.
I'm going to a movie!
594
00:22:08,790 --> 00:22:11,424
Nah, it's probably
a union thing.
595
00:22:19,624 --> 00:22:21,257
People like the idea of revenge.
596
00:22:22,273 --> 00:22:23,235
Have you ever
heard the expression,
597
00:22:23,268 --> 00:22:25,235
"The best revenge
is living well"?
598
00:22:25,268 --> 00:22:26,402
I've said this.
599
00:22:26,435 --> 00:22:27,502
In other words,
600
00:22:27,535 --> 00:22:29,235
it means, supposedly,
601
00:22:29,268 --> 00:22:30,835
the best way
to get back at someone
602
00:22:30,868 --> 00:22:32,535
is just by being
happy and successful
603
00:22:32,568 --> 00:22:34,368
in your own life.
604
00:22:34,402 --> 00:22:35,502
Sounds nice.
605
00:22:35,535 --> 00:22:36,668
Doesn't really work
606
00:22:36,702 --> 00:22:38,035
on that Charles Bronson
kind of life.
607
00:22:38,068 --> 00:22:39,668
You know what I mean?
608
00:22:39,702 --> 00:22:40,835
Those movies
where his whole family
609
00:22:40,868 --> 00:22:43,568
just gets wiped out
by some street scum.
610
00:22:43,602 --> 00:22:45,368
You know,
maybe you could go up to him,
611
00:22:45,402 --> 00:22:46,435
"Charlie, forget the .357.
612
00:22:46,468 --> 00:22:47,878
"What you need
is a custom-made suit
613
00:22:47,878 --> 00:22:48,002
"What you need
is a custom-made suit
614
00:22:48,035 --> 00:22:49,002
"and a convertible.
615
00:22:49,035 --> 00:22:50,935
"New carpeting, French doors,
a divan.
616
00:22:50,968 --> 00:22:53,602
That'll show those punks."
40601
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