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1
00:00:01,333 --> 00:00:03,500
Well, I painted
my apartment again.
2
00:00:03,533 --> 00:00:05,500
I've been living in this
apartment for years and years,
3
00:00:05,533 --> 00:00:07,900
and every time I paint it,
it kind of gets me down.
4
00:00:07,933 --> 00:00:10,466
I look around and think, "Well,
it's a little bit smaller now."
5
00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:12,633
And I realize it's just
the thickness of the paint,
6
00:00:12,666 --> 00:00:13,633
but I'm aware of it.
7
00:00:13,666 --> 00:00:15,500
It just keeps coming in
and coming in.
8
00:00:15,533 --> 00:00:17,833
Every time I paint it,
it's closer and closer.
9
00:00:17,866 --> 00:00:20,000
I don't even know where
the wall outlets are anymore.
10
00:00:20,033 --> 00:00:22,400
I just look for, like, a lump
with two slots in it.
11
00:00:22,433 --> 00:00:23,866
It kind of looks like a pig.
12
00:00:23,900 --> 00:00:26,833
He's trying to push his way
through from the other side.
13
00:00:26,866 --> 00:00:28,233
That's where I plug in.
14
00:00:30,266 --> 00:00:32,700
My idea
of the perfect living room
15
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,700
would be the bridge
on the Starship Enterprise.
16
00:00:34,733 --> 00:00:36,133
You know what I mean?
17
00:00:36,166 --> 00:00:38,833
Big chair, nice screen,
remote control.
18
00:00:38,866 --> 00:00:42,300
That's why Star Trek really was
the ultimate male fantasy--
19
00:00:42,333 --> 00:00:45,133
just hurtling through space
in your living room,
20
00:00:45,166 --> 00:00:47,300
watching TV.
21
00:00:47,333 --> 00:00:50,066
That's why all the aliens
were always dropping in,
22
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:52,300
because Kirk was the only one
that had the big screen.
23
00:00:52,333 --> 00:00:54,966
They'd come over Friday nights--
Klingon boxing.
24
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,066
Got to be there.
25
00:01:07,894 --> 00:01:09,727
What did you do?
26
00:01:09,761 --> 00:01:12,227
Mousse. I moussed up.
27
00:01:12,261 --> 00:01:14,394
I guess it was just
a matter of time.
28
00:01:14,427 --> 00:01:16,361
You know, I should've done this
years ago.
29
00:01:16,394 --> 00:01:18,127
I mean, I feel like
I've had two lives--
30
00:01:18,161 --> 00:01:21,094
my premousse,
and now I begin my postmousse.
31
00:01:21,127 --> 00:01:24,127
Truthfully, have you ever seen
a better-looking guy?
32
00:01:24,161 --> 00:01:27,061
Looks,
it's so subjective.
33
00:01:27,094 --> 00:01:28,141
Oh, I don't mean
to interrupt or anything,
34
00:01:28,141 --> 00:01:30,127
Oh, I don't mean
to interrupt or anything,
35
00:01:30,161 --> 00:01:31,194
but on Sunday,
36
00:01:31,227 --> 00:01:32,361
my friend
is having a brunch
37
00:01:32,394 --> 00:01:33,561
for the New York
marathon--
38
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:38,227
Oh! I keep forgetting
to enter that! Gee!
39
00:01:38,261 --> 00:01:41,061
[SIGHING] She lives
right above 1st Avenue.
40
00:01:41,094 --> 00:01:43,061
She says she has
a perfect view of the race,
41
00:01:43,094 --> 00:01:44,861
and she said I could
invite some friends.
42
00:01:44,894 --> 00:01:45,861
Maybe.
43
00:01:45,894 --> 00:01:47,427
MAN: No, I'm not
going up there!
44
00:01:47,461 --> 00:01:49,727
[SECOND MAN SPEAKING SPANISH]
45
00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:51,027
Harold and Manny.
46
00:01:51,061 --> 00:01:54,194
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
47
00:01:54,227 --> 00:01:56,027
Boys, boys.
48
00:01:56,061 --> 00:01:57,061
Oh, Jerry.
49
00:01:57,094 --> 00:01:58,141
I slid the rent
under your door, Harold.
50
00:01:58,141 --> 00:01:59,427
I slid the rent
under your door, Harold.
51
00:01:59,461 --> 00:02:01,361
Did you get it?
Yeah, yeah.
52
00:02:01,394 --> 00:02:03,427
Hey, Jerry,
would you like anything
53
00:02:03,461 --> 00:02:04,761
from Miss Hudwalker's
apartment?
54
00:02:04,794 --> 00:02:05,927
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
55
00:02:05,961 --> 00:02:07,427
I was only joking.
56
00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,061
He thinks I'm going
to give you
57
00:02:09,094 --> 00:02:10,061
Miss Hudwalker's
things.
58
00:02:10,094 --> 00:02:11,527
[SPEAKS SPANISH]
59
00:02:11,561 --> 00:02:13,694
We have to go up there now
and clean the apartment.
60
00:02:13,727 --> 00:02:15,294
It's a good thing
her rent was overdue.
61
00:02:15,327 --> 00:02:17,427
She'd be rotting
up there for a month.
62
00:02:17,461 --> 00:02:19,361
She died? Mrs. Hudwalker died?
63
00:02:19,394 --> 00:02:22,194
94 years old.
I found her yesterday.
64
00:02:22,227 --> 00:02:24,227
She didn't
have a wig on.
65
00:02:24,261 --> 00:02:26,427
It was horrifying.
66
00:02:26,461 --> 00:02:28,141
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
67
00:02:28,141 --> 00:02:29,027
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
68
00:02:29,061 --> 00:02:30,727
What's the matter with you?
I'm talking!
69
00:02:30,761 --> 00:02:33,361
So, Jerry, you know anybody
who needs an apartment?
70
00:02:33,394 --> 00:02:35,261
Are you kidding?
Do you know my friend Elaine?
71
00:02:35,294 --> 00:02:36,794
Yeah. I like her.
72
00:02:36,827 --> 00:02:38,694
She always
says hello to me.
73
00:02:38,727 --> 00:02:39,761
It's not promised to anyone?
74
00:02:39,794 --> 00:02:41,194
Because she'd take it
in a second.
75
00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:43,561
Well, Manny wanted it
for his brother,
76
00:02:43,594 --> 00:02:45,061
but he got deported.
77
00:02:45,094 --> 00:02:46,127
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
...deported?
78
00:02:46,161 --> 00:02:47,761
It's un pequeño
misunderstanding
79
00:02:47,794 --> 00:02:48,961
con departmentode immigracíon.
80
00:02:48,994 --> 00:02:50,761
What's the difference?
It's true.
81
00:02:50,794 --> 00:02:53,194
So it's okay? I can just
tell her she can have it?
82
00:02:53,227 --> 00:02:54,927
Sure, sure.
She's getting a bargain too.
83
00:02:54,961 --> 00:02:56,961
It's only $400 a month.
84
00:02:56,994 --> 00:02:58,141
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
85
00:02:58,141 --> 00:02:59,361
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
86
00:02:59,394 --> 00:03:00,361
Okay.
87
00:03:00,394 --> 00:03:01,361
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
88
00:03:01,394 --> 00:03:02,527
Okay!
89
00:03:02,561 --> 00:03:04,727
Hey, Harold.
What do you think?
90
00:03:04,761 --> 00:03:08,194
Manny, look.
Kramer put mousse in his hair.
91
00:03:08,227 --> 00:03:12,861
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
92
00:03:12,894 --> 00:03:13,827
Thanks.
93
00:03:19,661 --> 00:03:22,327
What was that
all about?
94
00:03:24,061 --> 00:03:27,361
Oh, nothing important.
95
00:03:27,394 --> 00:03:28,141
What's going on?
What is that look?
96
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:30,561
What's going on?
What is that look?
97
00:03:30,594 --> 00:03:33,227
What look?
98
00:03:33,261 --> 00:03:34,561
Nothing.
99
00:03:34,594 --> 00:03:38,261
Something's going on here.
100
00:03:38,294 --> 00:03:40,727
I don't know if you should sit
for this or not.
101
00:03:40,761 --> 00:03:42,861
Sitting is good
if you faint,
102
00:03:42,894 --> 00:03:47,227
but standing is good
for jumping up and down.
103
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:48,861
I can't decide.
104
00:03:48,894 --> 00:03:50,194
Jumping up and down?
105
00:03:50,227 --> 00:03:53,027
What are you talking about?
Come on. Cough it up.
106
00:03:53,061 --> 00:03:55,694
Oh, Elaine,
you know the way I am,
107
00:03:55,727 --> 00:03:58,141
rarely ever thinking of myself.
108
00:03:58,141 --> 00:03:59,027
rarely ever thinking of myself.
109
00:03:59,061 --> 00:04:02,961
My only concern
is the welfare and happiness
110
00:04:02,994 --> 00:04:05,061
of those close to me.
111
00:04:05,094 --> 00:04:06,527
Sure, it hurts
sometimes
112
00:04:06,561 --> 00:04:09,027
to give and give
and give--
113
00:04:09,061 --> 00:04:10,561
Would you please?
114
00:04:10,594 --> 00:04:12,527
What would you say...
115
00:04:12,561 --> 00:04:14,327
if I told you that--
116
00:04:15,994 --> 00:04:17,727
Told me what?
117
00:04:17,761 --> 00:04:20,261
I got you an apartment
in this building?
118
00:04:20,294 --> 00:04:21,261
No!
119
00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:22,261
Yes.
120
00:04:22,294 --> 00:04:23,761
No!
Yes!
You didn't!
121
00:04:23,794 --> 00:04:24,961
I did.
122
00:04:24,994 --> 00:04:26,861
You got me an apartment
in the building?
123
00:04:26,894 --> 00:04:28,141
I got you an apartment
in the building.
124
00:04:28,141 --> 00:04:28,927
I got you an apartment
in the building.
125
00:04:28,961 --> 00:04:29,927
How did you--
126
00:04:29,961 --> 00:04:31,427
You remember Mrs. Hudwalker,
127
00:04:31,461 --> 00:04:34,361
the 94-year-old woman
who lived above me?
No.
128
00:04:34,394 --> 00:04:35,961
She died.
She died?
129
00:04:35,994 --> 00:04:36,961
She died!
130
00:04:36,994 --> 00:04:38,227
[GIGGLING]
She died!
131
00:04:39,927 --> 00:04:43,727
And... the rent
is only $400 a month.
132
00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:46,094
Get out!
133
00:04:46,127 --> 00:04:49,261
400 a month? Only 400 a month?
134
00:04:49,294 --> 00:04:50,261
400 a month.
135
00:04:50,294 --> 00:04:51,394
And I'll be right upstairs?
136
00:04:51,427 --> 00:04:52,394
Right upstairs.
137
00:04:52,427 --> 00:04:53,394
Right above you?
138
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:54,394
Right above me.
139
00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:56,527
Oh! Whoo-hoo! We're neighbors!
140
00:04:56,561 --> 00:04:58,141
I'll be here all the time!
141
00:04:58,141 --> 00:04:58,727
I'll be here all the time!
142
00:04:58,761 --> 00:05:01,527
All the time.
143
00:05:01,561 --> 00:05:02,761
We can exchange keys
144
00:05:02,794 --> 00:05:04,527
so we can come in
and out.
145
00:05:04,561 --> 00:05:07,061
Oh, this is gonna
be great.
146
00:05:07,094 --> 00:05:09,927
All the time.
147
00:05:09,961 --> 00:05:11,394
The problem with talking
148
00:05:11,427 --> 00:05:14,194
is that nobody stops you
from saying the wrong thing.
149
00:05:14,227 --> 00:05:16,227
I think
life would be a lot better
150
00:05:16,261 --> 00:05:18,294
if it was like
you're always making a movie.
151
00:05:18,327 --> 00:05:19,761
You mess up,
152
00:05:19,794 --> 00:05:22,361
somebody just walks on the set
and stops the whole shot.
153
00:05:22,394 --> 00:05:23,761
You know what I mean?
154
00:05:23,794 --> 00:05:25,761
Think of the things
you wish you could take back.
155
00:05:25,794 --> 00:05:26,861
You're out somewhere
with people.
156
00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,141
"Gee, you look pregnant.
Are you?"
157
00:05:28,141 --> 00:05:29,961
"Gee, you look pregnant.
Are you?"
158
00:05:29,994 --> 00:05:32,927
Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut!
159
00:05:32,961 --> 00:05:34,861
That's not gonna work at all.
160
00:05:34,894 --> 00:05:36,727
Walk out the door. Come back in.
161
00:05:36,761 --> 00:05:38,527
Let's take
this whole scene again.
162
00:05:38,561 --> 00:05:41,594
People, think about
what you're saying.
163
00:05:41,627 --> 00:05:45,094
Thanks.
See you later, Donna.
164
00:05:46,061 --> 00:05:47,194
What happened to you?
165
00:05:47,227 --> 00:05:48,561
You can't believe
what I just did.
166
00:05:48,594 --> 00:05:50,027
What? What did you do?
167
00:05:50,061 --> 00:05:52,394
I could tell you what I did,
but you won't believe it.
168
00:05:52,427 --> 00:05:53,861
It's not believable.
What did you do?
169
00:05:53,894 --> 00:05:55,627
How could I have
done that?
Done what?
170
00:05:55,661 --> 00:05:57,561
I told Elaine about
an apartment opening up
171
00:05:57,594 --> 00:05:58,141
in my building.
172
00:05:58,141 --> 00:05:58,561
in my building.
173
00:05:58,594 --> 00:05:59,627
She's going to move in.
174
00:05:59,661 --> 00:06:01,527
Elaine's moving
into your building?
175
00:06:01,561 --> 00:06:03,027
Yes. Right above me.
176
00:06:03,061 --> 00:06:04,527
Right above you?
177
00:06:04,561 --> 00:06:06,027
You're gonna
be neighbors.
178
00:06:06,061 --> 00:06:07,594
I know. Neighbors.
179
00:06:07,627 --> 00:06:08,761
She's right above you?
180
00:06:08,794 --> 00:06:09,861
Right above me.
181
00:06:09,894 --> 00:06:11,194
How could you do that?
182
00:06:11,227 --> 00:06:12,694
Because I'm an idiot.
183
00:06:12,727 --> 00:06:14,861
You may think you're an idiot,
but with all due respect,
184
00:06:14,894 --> 00:06:16,727
I'm a much bigger idiot
than you are.
185
00:06:16,761 --> 00:06:18,194
Please.
Don't insult me, my friend.
186
00:06:18,227 --> 00:06:19,627
Remember who you're talking to.
187
00:06:19,661 --> 00:06:21,461
No one's a bigger idiot than me.
188
00:06:21,494 --> 00:06:22,694
Did you ever ask
an ex-girlfriend
189
00:06:22,727 --> 00:06:23,761
to move into your building?
190
00:06:23,794 --> 00:06:25,361
Did you ever go
to a singles' weekend
191
00:06:25,394 --> 00:06:27,027
in the Poconos?
192
00:06:27,061 --> 00:06:28,141
She's right in my building,
right above me.
193
00:06:28,141 --> 00:06:29,861
She's right in my building,
right above me.
194
00:06:29,894 --> 00:06:31,261
Every time I come
in the building,
195
00:06:31,294 --> 00:06:33,261
I'm gonna have to sneak around
like a cat burglar.
196
00:06:33,294 --> 00:06:34,427
You're doomed.
197
00:06:34,461 --> 00:06:36,027
You're gonna have to have
all your sex
198
00:06:36,061 --> 00:06:37,194
at women's apartments.
199
00:06:37,227 --> 00:06:38,561
It'll be like
a permanent road trip.
200
00:06:38,594 --> 00:06:39,727
Forget about
the home-bed advantage.
201
00:06:39,761 --> 00:06:41,761
But I need
the home-bed advantage.
202
00:06:41,794 --> 00:06:42,794
Of course.
203
00:06:42,827 --> 00:06:44,027
We all do.
204
00:06:44,061 --> 00:06:46,027
Come in for two minutes
and sit with me.
205
00:06:46,061 --> 00:06:48,027
I was just in there.
It's embarrassing.
206
00:06:48,061 --> 00:06:49,527
Oh, who's gonna know?
207
00:06:49,561 --> 00:06:52,027
They all saw me
walk out.
208
00:06:52,061 --> 00:06:54,027
Two minutes.
209
00:06:54,061 --> 00:06:55,961
[SIGHING]
210
00:06:58,661 --> 00:07:00,527
My sensoring system
broke down.
211
00:07:00,561 --> 00:07:02,094
You know that little guy
in your head
212
00:07:02,127 --> 00:07:03,361
who watches
everything you say
213
00:07:03,394 --> 00:07:04,961
and makes sure
you don't make a mistake?
214
00:07:04,994 --> 00:07:07,361
He went
for a cup of coffee
215
00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:08,794
and, in that second,
ruined my life.
216
00:07:08,827 --> 00:07:11,261
My sensor quit two years ago.
217
00:07:11,294 --> 00:07:14,627
Checked into a clinic,
emotionally exhausted.
218
00:07:14,661 --> 00:07:17,127
So is there any way out
of this Elaine thing?
219
00:07:17,161 --> 00:07:18,194
It's tough.
220
00:07:18,227 --> 00:07:19,294
You know,
the water pressure's
221
00:07:19,327 --> 00:07:20,361
terrible
in my building,
222
00:07:20,394 --> 00:07:21,561
and she loves
a good shower.
223
00:07:21,594 --> 00:07:22,627
I never heard
of anyone
224
00:07:22,661 --> 00:07:23,694
turning down
an apartment
225
00:07:23,727 --> 00:07:25,194
because of a weak
shower spray.
226
00:07:25,227 --> 00:07:27,294
If they were fanatic
about showers, they might.
227
00:07:27,327 --> 00:07:28,141
For that rent,
228
00:07:28,141 --> 00:07:28,561
For that rent,
229
00:07:28,594 --> 00:07:30,194
she'd take a bath
in the toilet tank
230
00:07:30,227 --> 00:07:31,261
if she had to.
231
00:07:31,294 --> 00:07:33,927
Look at this woman
feeding her baby
232
00:07:33,961 --> 00:07:35,194
greasy, disgusting,
233
00:07:35,227 --> 00:07:38,294
coffee-shop
corned beef hash.
234
00:07:38,327 --> 00:07:39,861
Isn't that child abuse?
235
00:07:39,894 --> 00:07:41,461
I'd like to have a kid.
236
00:07:43,261 --> 00:07:45,727
Of course, you have
to have a date first.
237
00:07:45,761 --> 00:07:48,227
Remember my friend Adam
from Detroit?
238
00:07:48,261 --> 00:07:49,627
Yeah, the guy
with the flat head?
239
00:07:49,661 --> 00:07:50,927
He's a cube.
240
00:07:50,961 --> 00:07:53,227
Anyway, he got married
about six months ago.
241
00:07:53,261 --> 00:07:55,561
He told me, ever since he's been
wearing a wedding band,
242
00:07:55,594 --> 00:07:57,561
women have been coming on to him
everywhere he goes.
243
00:07:57,594 --> 00:07:58,141
Yeah, I've heard that
about wedding bands.
244
00:07:58,141 --> 00:07:59,094
Yeah, I've heard that
about wedding bands.
245
00:07:59,127 --> 00:08:01,194
I wonder if that's really true.
246
00:08:01,227 --> 00:08:04,127
That'd be an interesting
sociological experiment.
247
00:08:04,161 --> 00:08:06,194
You know, Kramer
has his father's band.
248
00:08:06,227 --> 00:08:07,427
He'd loan it to you.
249
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:15,894
Hey, thanks a lot.
250
00:08:15,927 --> 00:08:17,894
So I'll give it back
to you in a week.
251
00:08:17,927 --> 00:08:19,294
You know, I don't even know why
252
00:08:19,327 --> 00:08:20,527
you're fooling around
with this ring.
253
00:08:20,561 --> 00:08:22,861
I've been telling you--
get yourself some plugs
254
00:08:22,894 --> 00:08:24,527
or a piece.
I'm not doing that.
255
00:08:24,561 --> 00:08:26,594
Oh, man. You know, you're crazy.
256
00:08:26,627 --> 00:08:27,794
You're a good-looking guy.
257
00:08:27,827 --> 00:08:28,141
Why do you want to walk around
like that for?
258
00:08:28,141 --> 00:08:30,561
Why do you want to walk around
like that for?
259
00:08:30,594 --> 00:08:33,594
No, I'll put a half a can
of mousse in my head, like you.
260
00:08:33,627 --> 00:08:34,594
No.
261
00:08:34,627 --> 00:08:35,961
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
262
00:08:37,927 --> 00:08:40,727
I told you,
I don't like these sponges.
263
00:08:40,761 --> 00:08:42,227
They're too small.
264
00:08:42,261 --> 00:08:43,761
I want a big sponge!
265
00:08:43,794 --> 00:08:46,361
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
266
00:08:46,394 --> 00:08:47,727
You can't pick up anything
with these.
267
00:08:47,761 --> 00:08:48,727
There's no absorption.
268
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:51,894
Boys, boys.
269
00:08:51,927 --> 00:08:53,861
Hi, Jerry.
270
00:08:53,894 --> 00:08:55,294
Hello, Jerry.
271
00:08:57,061 --> 00:08:58,027
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
272
00:08:58,061 --> 00:08:58,141
Okay.
273
00:08:58,141 --> 00:08:59,027
Okay.
274
00:08:59,061 --> 00:09:00,527
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
275
00:09:00,561 --> 00:09:01,694
Okay.
276
00:09:01,727 --> 00:09:04,961
Your friend can't have
the apartment, Jerry.
277
00:09:04,994 --> 00:09:05,961
What?
278
00:09:05,994 --> 00:09:09,261
Because somebody
offered Manny $5000
279
00:09:09,294 --> 00:09:10,861
for the apartment.
280
00:09:10,894 --> 00:09:14,027
I don't want to do it.
Manny wants to do it.
281
00:09:14,061 --> 00:09:15,294
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
282
00:09:15,327 --> 00:09:17,227
Because it's true!
Why shouldn't I tell him?
283
00:09:17,261 --> 00:09:20,261
Hey, hey, I understand.
You're businessmen.
284
00:09:20,294 --> 00:09:21,361
Okay, okay...
285
00:09:21,394 --> 00:09:25,227
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
286
00:09:25,261 --> 00:09:28,141
Oh. Now he says that
if your friend has $5000,
287
00:09:28,141 --> 00:09:29,227
Oh. Now he says that
if your friend has $5000,
288
00:09:29,261 --> 00:09:31,594
we'll give it to her.
289
00:09:31,627 --> 00:09:33,094
Well, that's a lot of money,
290
00:09:33,127 --> 00:09:34,894
but if that's the way
it's got to be,
291
00:09:34,927 --> 00:09:36,994
that's the way it's got to be.
292
00:09:39,261 --> 00:09:41,861
You know,
I used to think
293
00:09:41,894 --> 00:09:43,194
that the universe
294
00:09:43,227 --> 00:09:45,227
is a random,
chaotic sequence
295
00:09:45,261 --> 00:09:47,127
of meaningless events...
296
00:09:47,161 --> 00:09:48,627
But I see now
297
00:09:48,661 --> 00:09:52,727
that there is reason and purpose
to all things.
298
00:09:52,761 --> 00:09:54,527
What happened to you?
299
00:09:54,561 --> 00:09:57,227
Religion, my friend.
That's what happened to me.
300
00:09:57,261 --> 00:09:58,141
Because I have just
301
00:09:58,141 --> 00:09:59,127
Because I have just
302
00:09:59,161 --> 00:10:01,727
been informed
that it's going to cost Elaine
303
00:10:01,761 --> 00:10:06,194
the sum of $5000
to get the apartment upstairs.
304
00:10:06,227 --> 00:10:10,027
$5000? She doesn't have $5000.
305
00:10:10,061 --> 00:10:11,461
Of course
she doesn't have $5000.
306
00:10:11,494 --> 00:10:12,694
So she can't get the apartment.
307
00:10:12,727 --> 00:10:13,694
Can't get it.
308
00:10:13,727 --> 00:10:15,594
So she doesn't move in!
No move.
309
00:10:15,627 --> 00:10:18,894
So you see?
It's all part of a divine plan.
310
00:10:18,927 --> 00:10:22,894
And how does the baldness
fit into that plan?
311
00:10:22,927 --> 00:10:25,894
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
312
00:10:25,927 --> 00:10:26,894
Elaine?
313
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,141
Yeah!
314
00:10:28,141 --> 00:10:28,894
Yeah!
315
00:10:30,427 --> 00:10:32,527
All right.
316
00:10:32,561 --> 00:10:35,527
This is going to require
some great acting now.
317
00:10:35,561 --> 00:10:37,461
I have to pretend
I'm disappointed,
318
00:10:37,494 --> 00:10:39,694
so you're going to see me
really being a phony now.
319
00:10:39,727 --> 00:10:40,861
I hope you can take this.
320
00:10:40,894 --> 00:10:42,861
Maybe you should go
into the other room.
321
00:10:42,894 --> 00:10:43,927
Are you kidding?
322
00:10:43,961 --> 00:10:45,694
I lie every second of the day.
323
00:10:45,727 --> 00:10:47,894
My whole life is a sham.
324
00:10:47,927 --> 00:10:49,694
Because, you know,
I love Elaine.
325
00:10:49,727 --> 00:10:50,727
Of course you do.
326
00:10:50,761 --> 00:10:52,827
But, you know,
not in the building.
327
00:10:54,294 --> 00:10:56,727
Really, I feel terrible
about this.
328
00:10:56,761 --> 00:10:58,141
My intentions were good.
329
00:10:58,141 --> 00:10:58,194
My intentions were good.
330
00:10:58,227 --> 00:10:59,694
What-- What can I do?
Tell me.
331
00:10:59,727 --> 00:11:02,727
No, I'll be seeing you!
332
00:11:04,761 --> 00:11:06,961
♪ Good morning
Good morning ♪
333
00:11:06,994 --> 00:11:09,027
Have you ever gotten up
first thing in the morning
334
00:11:09,061 --> 00:11:10,794
and felt that it's just great
to be alive?
335
00:11:10,827 --> 00:11:16,561
That every breath is a gift
of sweet life from above?
336
00:11:22,061 --> 00:11:23,294
Ooh.
337
00:11:23,327 --> 00:11:25,227
Before I forget,
338
00:11:25,261 --> 00:11:28,141
I have the checks
for the first month,
339
00:11:28,141 --> 00:11:28,227
I have the checks
for the first month,
340
00:11:28,261 --> 00:11:30,027
last month, security deposit.
341
00:11:30,061 --> 00:11:31,194
[CHUCKLES]
342
00:11:31,227 --> 00:11:34,227
I have $75 left in my account.
343
00:11:35,761 --> 00:11:37,227
Well...
344
00:11:37,261 --> 00:11:38,727
There's a little bit
of a problem.
345
00:11:38,761 --> 00:11:39,794
Oh, I know.
346
00:11:39,827 --> 00:11:41,194
There's a weak shower spray,
I know,
347
00:11:41,227 --> 00:11:43,861
and I already thought about it--
I am switching to baths.
348
00:11:43,894 --> 00:11:47,227
As Winston Churchill said,
"Why stand when you can sit?"
349
00:11:47,261 --> 00:11:49,627
Maybe I'll get
some rubber duckies.
350
00:11:49,661 --> 00:11:51,227
Uh, no, uh...
351
00:11:51,261 --> 00:11:56,427
Someone offered Harold and Manny
5000 for the apartment.
352
00:11:56,461 --> 00:11:58,141
I'm sure they'd just as soon
give it to you,
353
00:11:58,141 --> 00:11:58,894
I'm sure they'd just as soon
give it to you,
354
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:01,694
but you would have to
come up with that money.
355
00:12:01,727 --> 00:12:04,294
Five thousand dollars?
356
00:12:04,327 --> 00:12:06,627
I don't have $5000.
357
00:12:06,661 --> 00:12:08,027
I know.
358
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:10,861
How am I going to get $5000?
359
00:12:10,894 --> 00:12:13,127
I have no idea.
360
00:12:14,261 --> 00:12:16,194
Hey! My new neighbor.
361
00:12:16,227 --> 00:12:18,194
Oh, I'm not
moving in.
362
00:12:18,227 --> 00:12:19,394
What?
363
00:12:19,427 --> 00:12:21,861
They want $5000 now.
364
00:12:21,894 --> 00:12:25,361
So, okay, uh,
w-what's the problem?
365
00:12:25,394 --> 00:12:27,694
I don't have $5000.
366
00:12:27,727 --> 00:12:28,141
Oh, come on!
You can come up with $5000!
367
00:12:28,141 --> 00:12:30,727
Oh, come on!
You can come up with $5000!
368
00:12:30,761 --> 00:12:33,727
Jerry, you don't have $5000
you can lend her?
369
00:12:33,761 --> 00:12:36,727
Come on.
370
00:12:36,761 --> 00:12:38,527
Yeah, well, I didn't--
I mean...
371
00:12:38,561 --> 00:12:41,027
is that something
you want to borrow?
372
00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:44,527
No, that's too much money
to borrow.
373
00:12:44,561 --> 00:12:47,461
Loan her the money.
You can afford it.
374
00:12:47,494 --> 00:12:49,694
She doesn't want
to borrow the money.
375
00:12:49,727 --> 00:12:51,627
Oh, come on!
She'll pay you back.
376
00:12:51,661 --> 00:12:53,594
What's five grand
between friends?
377
00:12:53,627 --> 00:12:55,594
Oh, of course I'd pay you back.
378
00:12:55,627 --> 00:12:57,194
Yeah, so what's
the problem?
379
00:12:57,227 --> 00:12:58,141
Who said
there's a problem?
380
00:12:58,141 --> 00:12:58,927
Who said
there's a problem?
381
00:12:58,961 --> 00:13:01,194
Uh! See? He said
he'll loan you the money.
382
00:13:01,227 --> 00:13:03,961
Well, now, Jerry,
it might take a while
383
00:13:03,994 --> 00:13:05,561
for me to pay you back,
you know.
384
00:13:05,594 --> 00:13:06,861
Maybe a few years.
385
00:13:06,894 --> 00:13:08,727
How do you feel
about that?
386
00:13:08,761 --> 00:13:09,727
Ah, it's okay!
387
00:13:09,761 --> 00:13:12,794
He doesn't care.
388
00:13:12,827 --> 00:13:13,861
Well, you know,
389
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:16,027
money can sometimes
come between friends.
390
00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:17,294
Get out of here.
391
00:13:17,327 --> 00:13:18,694
Let me think about it.
392
00:13:18,727 --> 00:13:19,694
What's to think about?
393
00:13:19,727 --> 00:13:20,694
Well, I don't know.
394
00:13:20,727 --> 00:13:22,561
I don't know. 5000?
395
00:13:22,594 --> 00:13:25,294
Let me just take
one more look at it.
396
00:13:26,994 --> 00:13:28,141
[GURGLING CHEERFULLY]
397
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,927
[GURGLING CHEERFULLY]
398
00:13:34,594 --> 00:13:36,227
It was all over.
399
00:13:36,261 --> 00:13:37,727
Taken care of.
400
00:13:37,761 --> 00:13:38,727
Done. Finished.
401
00:13:38,761 --> 00:13:40,194
5000-- where is she gonna get--?
402
00:13:40,227 --> 00:13:41,794
She doesn't have 5000.
403
00:13:41,827 --> 00:13:42,794
Clean. Goodbye.
404
00:13:42,827 --> 00:13:44,194
She's gone.
405
00:13:44,227 --> 00:13:45,627
Then you come in.
406
00:13:45,661 --> 00:13:47,027
"Why don't you loan her
the 5000?
407
00:13:47,061 --> 00:13:48,727
"What do you care?
You got 5000.
408
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:49,727
Give her 5000."
409
00:13:49,761 --> 00:13:50,961
Wait a minute.
410
00:13:50,994 --> 00:13:52,894
You didn't want her
in the building?
411
00:13:52,927 --> 00:13:54,861
No, I didn't.
412
00:13:54,894 --> 00:13:58,141
Well, then, what did you
loan her the $5000 for?
413
00:13:58,141 --> 00:13:58,694
Well, then, what did you
loan her the $5000 for?
414
00:13:58,727 --> 00:14:00,794
Well, uh, look,
maybe she won't take it.
415
00:14:00,827 --> 00:14:02,027
I mean, she did say
416
00:14:02,061 --> 00:14:04,061
that she was going
to think about it.
417
00:14:04,094 --> 00:14:05,561
People don't turn down money.
418
00:14:05,594 --> 00:14:08,561
It's what separates us
from the animals.
419
00:14:08,594 --> 00:14:09,961
Oh, man, well,
I still don't understand
420
00:14:09,994 --> 00:14:11,894
what the problem is,
having her in the building.
421
00:14:11,927 --> 00:14:14,727
Let me explain
something to you.
422
00:14:14,761 --> 00:14:17,727
You see...
423
00:14:17,761 --> 00:14:19,361
You're not normal.
424
00:14:19,394 --> 00:14:22,194
You're a great guy.
I love you.
425
00:14:22,227 --> 00:14:25,227
But... you're a pod.
426
00:14:25,261 --> 00:14:28,141
I, on the other hand,
am a human being.
427
00:14:28,141 --> 00:14:28,627
I, on the other hand,
am a human being.
428
00:14:28,661 --> 00:14:30,527
I sometimes feel
awkward, uncomfortable,
429
00:14:30,561 --> 00:14:32,394
even inhibited
in certain situations
430
00:14:32,427 --> 00:14:33,894
with the other
human beings.
431
00:14:33,927 --> 00:14:35,361
You wouldn't
understand.
432
00:14:35,394 --> 00:14:37,061
Yeah. Because I'm a pod.
433
00:14:39,094 --> 00:14:42,227
I'll take it!
434
00:14:42,261 --> 00:14:43,894
No.
435
00:14:51,061 --> 00:14:52,061
Hi, Elaine.
436
00:14:52,094 --> 00:14:54,361
Oh, hi, Roxanne.
It's nice to be here.
437
00:14:54,394 --> 00:14:55,361
These are my friends.
438
00:14:55,394 --> 00:14:57,027
This is George.
And this is Jerry.
439
00:14:57,061 --> 00:14:58,227
Hi.
440
00:14:58,261 --> 00:15:00,694
Jerry's the one
who got me my new apartment.
441
00:15:00,727 --> 00:15:04,061
So you're Elaine's hero.
442
00:15:04,094 --> 00:15:06,027
Yes, it's my life's work.
443
00:15:06,061 --> 00:15:08,227
There are so few
true heroes
444
00:15:08,261 --> 00:15:09,527
left in this world.
445
00:15:09,561 --> 00:15:12,894
Yeah, my wife
couldn't make it today.
446
00:15:12,927 --> 00:15:15,676
She's got some thing
with her mother.
447
00:15:15,676 --> 00:15:15,727
She's got some thing
with her mother.
448
00:15:15,761 --> 00:15:18,027
Who knows what's
going on with her?
449
00:15:18,061 --> 00:15:20,694
Don't let
anybody kid you.
450
00:15:20,727 --> 00:15:22,661
It's tough.
451
00:15:25,227 --> 00:15:27,694
Well, better load up
on some carbos
452
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,261
before the race.
453
00:15:29,294 --> 00:15:31,194
Oh, the marathon
is great, isn't it?
454
00:15:31,227 --> 00:15:33,694
Oh, yes, particularly
if you're not in it.
455
00:15:33,727 --> 00:15:36,427
I wish we had a view
of the finish line.
456
00:15:36,461 --> 00:15:37,694
Ah, what's to see?
457
00:15:37,727 --> 00:15:39,261
A woman from Norway,
a guy from Kenya,
458
00:15:39,294 --> 00:15:40,594
and 20,000 losers.
459
00:15:42,794 --> 00:15:44,694
Yeah, my wife started
getting on me
460
00:15:44,727 --> 00:15:45,676
about the lawn today.
461
00:15:45,676 --> 00:15:46,194
about the lawn today.
462
00:15:46,227 --> 00:15:49,761
I tell you,
it's one thing after another.
463
00:15:49,794 --> 00:15:50,961
Is she here?
464
00:15:50,994 --> 00:15:52,294
Uh, no, no,
she's working.
465
00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:53,894
What does she do?
466
00:15:53,927 --> 00:15:56,361
She's an entomologist.
467
00:15:56,394 --> 00:16:00,127
Yeah, you know--
bees, flies, gnats.
468
00:16:00,161 --> 00:16:02,094
Yeah. What-- What about you?
469
00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:04,861
I work for the director
of Madison Square Garden.
470
00:16:04,894 --> 00:16:06,027
It's great.
471
00:16:06,061 --> 00:16:07,861
I can get free tickets
to any sporting event
472
00:16:07,894 --> 00:16:08,861
in New York.
473
00:16:08,894 --> 00:16:10,194
Wow.
474
00:16:10,227 --> 00:16:12,694
Anyway,
she's a very lucky woman.
475
00:16:12,727 --> 00:16:14,094
Enjoy the race.
476
00:16:15,827 --> 00:16:16,861
But...
477
00:16:16,894 --> 00:16:17,861
ROXANNE: Hi, Stan.
478
00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:18,861
Joanne.
479
00:16:18,894 --> 00:16:20,261
Come in.
480
00:16:20,294 --> 00:16:22,361
Jerry, this is Joanne
and this is Stan.
481
00:16:22,394 --> 00:16:23,861
They're in
my short story class.
482
00:16:23,894 --> 00:16:25,527
Hi.
How are you?
483
00:16:25,561 --> 00:16:26,861
Hey, Jerry just
got me
484
00:16:26,894 --> 00:16:29,027
a great apartment
in his building.
485
00:16:29,061 --> 00:16:30,394
Well, Jerry,
it'll be nice
486
00:16:30,427 --> 00:16:32,894
to have
a close friend nearby.
487
00:16:32,927 --> 00:16:33,961
Fantastic.
488
00:16:33,994 --> 00:16:35,661
She can pop in
whenever she wants.
489
00:16:37,227 --> 00:16:38,861
She doesn't even
need to knock.
490
00:16:38,894 --> 00:16:40,361
It's tremendous.
491
00:16:40,394 --> 00:16:41,894
Any time of day.
492
00:16:41,927 --> 00:16:43,594
I'm in heaven.
493
00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:44,694
Oh, Rita.
494
00:16:44,727 --> 00:16:45,676
Rita, come here.
495
00:16:45,676 --> 00:16:45,727
Rita, come here.
496
00:16:45,761 --> 00:16:47,094
This is Jerry.
497
00:16:47,127 --> 00:16:49,227
He's the one
who got me the apartment.
498
00:16:49,261 --> 00:16:50,794
Oh, hi.
499
00:16:50,827 --> 00:16:54,327
Bob, this is the guy
who got Elaine her apartment.
500
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:02,361
I'm sorry, I just
don't see the big deal
501
00:17:02,394 --> 00:17:03,761
about being a matador.
502
00:17:03,794 --> 00:17:06,694
I mean, the bull charges,
you move the cape--
503
00:17:06,727 --> 00:17:08,527
What's so hard?
504
00:17:08,561 --> 00:17:10,861
So, are you really married?
505
00:17:10,894 --> 00:17:13,927
Because I've actually heard
of single guys
506
00:17:13,961 --> 00:17:15,676
who wear wedding bands
to attract women.
507
00:17:15,676 --> 00:17:16,227
who wear wedding bands
to attract women.
508
00:17:16,261 --> 00:17:17,594
[CHUCKLES]
509
00:17:17,627 --> 00:17:18,594
[SNORTS]
510
00:17:18,627 --> 00:17:21,194
You would have to be
a real loser
511
00:17:21,227 --> 00:17:23,227
to try something like that.
512
00:17:23,261 --> 00:17:25,561
That's too bad, because...
513
00:17:25,594 --> 00:17:28,994
I really have a thing
for bald guys with glasses.
514
00:17:35,661 --> 00:17:37,394
Hey, everybody!
Here come the runners!
515
00:17:37,427 --> 00:17:38,727
Oh! Ooh.
516
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:45,061
So, you and Roxanne
are hitting it off, huh?
517
00:17:45,094 --> 00:17:45,676
Oh, I wouldn't
quite say that.
518
00:17:45,676 --> 00:17:46,361
Oh, I wouldn't
quite say that.
519
00:17:46,394 --> 00:17:47,694
Really?
520
00:17:47,727 --> 00:17:49,894
From a distance, you seemed
to be coming on to her.
521
00:17:49,927 --> 00:17:50,894
Oh, I'm a guy.
522
00:17:50,927 --> 00:17:52,561
It always
looks like that.
523
00:17:52,594 --> 00:17:55,127
Because I was thinking...
524
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:58,961
Are you at all concerned
that living in the same building
525
00:17:58,994 --> 00:18:02,027
will, you know,
cramp our styles?
526
00:18:02,061 --> 00:18:03,361
Nah.
527
00:18:03,394 --> 00:18:06,561
Because I was worried
that there might be a situation
528
00:18:06,594 --> 00:18:09,194
in which one of us
came home with somebody.
529
00:18:09,227 --> 00:18:11,194
It could get
a little uncomfortable.
530
00:18:11,227 --> 00:18:12,894
But as long
as you're okay with it,
531
00:18:12,927 --> 00:18:13,961
it's fine with me.
532
00:18:17,394 --> 00:18:18,861
I've never
been able to be
533
00:18:18,894 --> 00:18:20,194
with just one person.
534
00:18:20,227 --> 00:18:21,894
I can, however,
535
00:18:21,927 --> 00:18:24,527
carry on strictly
physical relationships
536
00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:27,761
which can last
for years and years.
537
00:18:27,794 --> 00:18:29,261
It's a shame you're married.
538
00:18:31,227 --> 00:18:33,694
Um... I'm not.
539
00:18:33,727 --> 00:18:37,694
Um, it-- it's just
a sociological experiment.
540
00:18:37,727 --> 00:18:38,727
Please.
541
00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:53,127
You have no idea
what an idiot is.
542
00:18:53,161 --> 00:18:56,127
Elaine just gave me
a chance to get out,
543
00:18:56,161 --> 00:18:57,627
and I didn't take it.
544
00:18:57,661 --> 00:18:59,194
This is an idiot.
545
00:18:59,227 --> 00:19:02,127
Is that right?
546
00:19:02,161 --> 00:19:06,794
I just threw away
a lifetime of guilt-free sex
547
00:19:06,827 --> 00:19:10,094
and floor seats
for every sporting event
548
00:19:10,127 --> 00:19:12,194
in Madison Square Garden.
549
00:19:12,227 --> 00:19:15,676
So, please, a little respect,
550
00:19:15,676 --> 00:19:15,694
So, please, a little respect,
551
00:19:15,727 --> 00:19:20,661
for I am Costanza,
lord of the idiots.
552
00:19:22,727 --> 00:19:25,394
ROXANNE:
You're all winners!
553
00:19:26,894 --> 00:19:31,794
But, suddenly,
a new contender has emerged.
554
00:19:34,394 --> 00:19:37,694
George, I didn't sleep at all
last night.
555
00:19:37,727 --> 00:19:40,027
I decided I have to tell her.
556
00:19:40,061 --> 00:19:42,361
I'm just gonna be honest,
that's all.
557
00:19:42,394 --> 00:19:44,894
Yes, I'm nervous.
558
00:19:44,927 --> 00:19:45,676
Are you listening to me?
559
00:19:45,676 --> 00:19:47,627
Are you listening to me?
560
00:19:47,661 --> 00:19:49,927
Just-- Just put some soap
on your finger.
561
00:19:49,961 --> 00:19:52,427
It'll slide right off.
562
00:19:52,461 --> 00:19:54,861
Well, then try axle grease.
563
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:58,527
I'll call you back
after I talk to her.
564
00:19:58,561 --> 00:20:01,027
Well...
565
00:20:01,061 --> 00:20:04,694
It's all taken care of.
566
00:20:04,727 --> 00:20:06,561
Everything's cool.
567
00:20:06,594 --> 00:20:08,427
What? What's cool?
568
00:20:08,461 --> 00:20:10,027
Elaine.
569
00:20:10,061 --> 00:20:12,027
What are you
talking about?
570
00:20:12,061 --> 00:20:14,361
I just found a guy
who's willing to pay $10,000
571
00:20:14,394 --> 00:20:15,676
for the apartment.
572
00:20:15,676 --> 00:20:16,227
for the apartment.
573
00:20:16,261 --> 00:20:18,261
You what? Get out!
574
00:20:18,294 --> 00:20:19,261
10,000?
575
00:20:19,294 --> 00:20:20,261
Cash!
576
00:20:20,294 --> 00:20:21,761
Who would pay that much?
577
00:20:21,794 --> 00:20:23,194
He's in the music business.
578
00:20:23,227 --> 00:20:24,861
Elaine would never borrow
that much money.
579
00:20:24,894 --> 00:20:25,861
Kramer...
580
00:20:25,894 --> 00:20:27,361
my God, man.
581
00:20:27,394 --> 00:20:28,861
This is beautiful.
582
00:20:28,894 --> 00:20:30,361
I think
I'm in the clear here.
583
00:20:30,394 --> 00:20:31,694
Elaine's not moving in.
584
00:20:31,727 --> 00:20:33,694
I don't have to confront her.
585
00:20:33,727 --> 00:20:36,361
She has no idea
I never wanted her to move in.
586
00:20:36,394 --> 00:20:37,761
I'm golden.
587
00:20:37,794 --> 00:20:41,461
Well, occasionally,
I like to help the humans.
588
00:20:46,227 --> 00:20:50,627
[LOUD ELECTRIC GUITAR PLAYING]
589
00:20:50,661 --> 00:20:53,861
ELAINE: Wow, you're right,
that is loud.
590
00:20:53,894 --> 00:20:55,094
It's just unbelievable.
591
00:20:55,127 --> 00:20:56,261
They rehearse all the time?
592
00:20:56,294 --> 00:20:57,261
All the time!
593
00:20:57,294 --> 00:20:58,694
I've been up there six times.
594
00:20:58,727 --> 00:21:00,361
They refuse to stop.
595
00:21:00,394 --> 00:21:01,727
I can't live
like this.
596
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,194
I don't know what
I'm gonna do.
597
00:21:03,227 --> 00:21:04,194
I'm headed for
a breakdown.
598
00:21:04,227 --> 00:21:05,461
Can't you
do something?
599
00:21:05,494 --> 00:21:07,761
I'm not going up.
It stinks up there.
600
00:21:07,794 --> 00:21:08,761
Manny?
601
00:21:08,794 --> 00:21:13,861
[SPEAKING SPANISH]
602
00:21:13,894 --> 00:21:15,294
I'm not the one
who said
603
00:21:15,327 --> 00:21:15,676
they could play
till 11:00.
604
00:21:15,676 --> 00:21:17,527
they could play
till 11:00.
605
00:21:17,561 --> 00:21:19,094
He makes up
his own rules.
606
00:21:19,127 --> 00:21:20,694
Boy, too bad. If I was up there,
607
00:21:20,727 --> 00:21:22,594
you'd never hear
a peep out of me.
608
00:21:22,627 --> 00:21:24,461
I'm as quiet
as a mouse.
609
00:21:24,494 --> 00:21:26,361
Hey.
610
00:21:26,394 --> 00:21:27,727
Oh!
611
00:21:27,761 --> 00:21:29,961
I love the one they do
right after this one.
612
00:21:31,127 --> 00:21:32,527
I don't know.
613
00:21:32,561 --> 00:21:35,361
What do you do when a neighbor
is making, like, a lot of noise
614
00:21:35,394 --> 00:21:36,694
at 3:00 in the morning?
615
00:21:36,727 --> 00:21:38,261
I mean, can you
knock on someone's door
616
00:21:38,294 --> 00:21:39,694
and tell 'em to keep it down?
617
00:21:39,727 --> 00:21:41,461
You're really altering
your whole self-image.
618
00:21:41,494 --> 00:21:43,194
I mean, what am I,
Fred Mertz now?
619
00:21:43,227 --> 00:21:44,527
What's happening to me?
620
00:21:44,561 --> 00:21:45,676
Can I do this?
Am I a shusher?
621
00:21:45,676 --> 00:21:46,894
Can I do this?
Am I a shusher?
622
00:21:46,927 --> 00:21:48,761
I used to be a shushee.
623
00:21:48,794 --> 00:21:50,761
There's a lot of shushing
going on in movie theaters.
624
00:21:50,794 --> 00:21:52,227
People are always shushing.
625
00:21:52,261 --> 00:21:55,061
Shh. Shh, shh. Shh!
626
00:21:55,094 --> 00:21:56,361
It doesn't work...
627
00:21:56,394 --> 00:21:58,194
Because nobody knows
where a shush is coming from.
628
00:21:58,227 --> 00:21:59,394
They just hear a "shh!"
629
00:21:59,427 --> 00:22:01,194
Was that a shush?
I think somebody shushed me.
630
00:22:01,227 --> 00:22:03,061
Some people you can't shush
in a movie theater.
631
00:22:03,094 --> 00:22:05,194
There's always a certain group
of people talking and talking.
632
00:22:05,227 --> 00:22:06,761
Everyone around them
is shushing them, shushing them.
633
00:22:06,794 --> 00:22:07,761
They won't shush.
634
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:09,827
They're the unshushables.
635
00:22:19,327 --> 00:22:22,261
[♪]
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