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1
00:00:01,527 --> 00:00:03,060
My parents live in Florida now.
2
00:00:03,093 --> 00:00:04,993
They moved there last year.
3
00:00:05,027 --> 00:00:06,393
They didn't want
to move to Florida,
4
00:00:06,427 --> 00:00:08,060
but they're in their 60s,
5
00:00:08,093 --> 00:00:10,727
and that's the law.
6
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:11,960
You know how it works.
7
00:00:11,993 --> 00:00:14,393
They got the leisure police.
8
00:00:14,427 --> 00:00:16,660
They pull up in front
of the old people's house
9
00:00:16,693 --> 00:00:18,460
with the golf cart,
jump out, "Let's go, Pop!
10
00:00:18,493 --> 00:00:19,660
"White belt, white pants,
white shoes!
11
00:00:19,693 --> 00:00:20,860
"Get in the back!
12
00:00:20,893 --> 00:00:22,893
Drop the snow shovel!
Right there! Drop it!"
13
00:00:22,927 --> 00:00:25,860
I am not much
for the family gathering.
14
00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:27,193
You ever sit there,
15
00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:29,627
and the conversation's
so boring, it's so dull?
16
00:00:29,660 --> 00:00:30,000
And you start to fantasize.
17
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,027
And you start to fantasize.
18
00:00:31,060 --> 00:00:32,560
You know, you think,
19
00:00:32,593 --> 00:00:35,727
what if I just...got up
and jumped out that window?
20
00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:39,060
Just crash right through
the glass, you know?
21
00:00:39,093 --> 00:00:40,527
Come back in.
22
00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:42,227
There's broken glass,
everybody's all upset.
23
00:00:42,260 --> 00:00:44,560
"No, I'm all right.
I was a little bored there.
24
00:00:44,593 --> 00:00:48,060
"No, I'm fine. I came back.
I wanted to hear a little more
25
00:00:48,093 --> 00:00:49,793
"about that Hummel collection,
Aunt Rose.
26
00:00:49,827 --> 00:00:51,693
Let's pick it up right there."
27
00:00:55,811 --> 00:00:57,244
[GUNSHOTS AND SIRENS PLAY
OVER TELEVISION SPEAKERS]
28
00:00:57,278 --> 00:00:59,244
You have
so many nice jackets,
29
00:00:59,278 --> 00:01:01,244
I don't know why you had
to bring this jacket.
30
00:01:01,278 --> 00:01:03,311
Who wears
a jacket like this?
31
00:01:03,344 --> 00:01:06,644
What's wrong with
that nice gray one?
32
00:01:06,678 --> 00:01:08,344
You have beautiful clothes.
33
00:01:08,378 --> 00:01:09,678
They sit in your closet.
34
00:01:09,711 --> 00:01:11,344
Morty, you can't
wear this.
35
00:01:11,378 --> 00:01:13,011
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
36
00:01:13,044 --> 00:01:14,678
[TIRES SCREECHING
ON TELEVISION]
37
00:01:17,844 --> 00:01:19,078
Are you getting that?
38
00:01:19,111 --> 00:01:20,978
I thought you
were getting it.
39
00:01:21,011 --> 00:01:23,345
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
40
00:01:23,345 --> 00:01:23,511
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
41
00:01:23,544 --> 00:01:24,578
Should I pick up?
42
00:01:24,611 --> 00:01:27,944
Do you want me
to get that?
43
00:01:27,978 --> 00:01:29,078
I'll get it!
44
00:01:29,111 --> 00:01:30,211
I'll get it!
45
00:01:33,978 --> 00:01:35,844
[SIRENS, TIRES SCREECHING
ON TELEVISION]
46
00:01:35,878 --> 00:01:37,311
Hello?
47
00:01:37,344 --> 00:01:39,311
Hello?
48
00:01:41,111 --> 00:01:44,311
[GUNSHOTS, DISCO-FLAVORED
CHASE MUSIC ON TELEVISION]
49
00:01:46,544 --> 00:01:47,682
Hi.
50
00:01:48,439 --> 00:01:51,306
[LOUDLY]
Would you make
this thing lower?
51
00:01:51,339 --> 00:01:52,672
I can hear it on the street.
52
00:01:52,706 --> 00:01:53,345
Hey, Jer, how did you do?
[LOWERS VOLUME]
53
00:01:53,345 --> 00:01:54,839
Hey, Jer, how did you do?
[LOWERS VOLUME]
54
00:01:54,872 --> 00:01:58,139
We won. I made an incredible
play in the field.
55
00:01:58,172 --> 00:01:59,739
It was a tag-up at third base.
56
00:01:59,772 --> 00:02:02,806
I threw the guy out
from left field on a fly.
57
00:02:04,106 --> 00:02:05,672
We'll be in
the championship game Wednesday
58
00:02:05,706 --> 00:02:07,272
because of me.
59
00:02:07,306 --> 00:02:10,072
It was the single
greatest moment in my life.
60
00:02:10,106 --> 00:02:12,772
This is your greatest moment,
a game?
61
00:02:12,806 --> 00:02:17,772
Well, no. Uh...
Sharon Besser, of course.
62
00:02:17,806 --> 00:02:20,639
You know what my greatest moment
was, don't you?
63
00:02:20,672 --> 00:02:23,345
1946. I went to work
for Harry Flemming...
64
00:02:23,345 --> 00:02:24,472
1946. I went to work
for Harry Flemming...
65
00:02:24,506 --> 00:02:27,206
and I came up with the idea
for the beltless trench coat.
66
00:02:29,039 --> 00:02:30,939
Jerry,
look at this sport jacket.
67
00:02:30,972 --> 00:02:33,239
Is this a jacket
to wear to an anniversary party?
68
00:02:33,272 --> 00:02:35,806
Well, the man's
an individualist.
69
00:02:35,839 --> 00:02:38,172
He worked for Harry Flemming.
70
00:02:38,206 --> 00:02:39,772
He knows what he's doing.
71
00:02:39,806 --> 00:02:41,672
But it's their
50th anniversary.
72
00:02:41,706 --> 00:02:43,806
Your mother doesn't like
my taste in clothing.
73
00:02:43,839 --> 00:02:45,406
You know, I spoke
to Manya and Isaac
74
00:02:45,439 --> 00:02:46,639
on the phone today.
75
00:02:46,672 --> 00:02:49,072
They invited you again.
I think you should go.
76
00:02:49,106 --> 00:02:51,006
First of all,
I made plans with Elaine.
77
00:02:51,039 --> 00:02:52,406
So bring her.
78
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:53,345
I don't even know them.
What is she, a second cousin?
79
00:02:53,345 --> 00:02:56,006
I don't even know them.
What is she, a second cousin?
80
00:02:56,039 --> 00:02:58,006
I mean, I met them
three times in my life.
81
00:02:58,039 --> 00:02:59,639
I don't know her either.
82
00:02:59,672 --> 00:03:01,672
She made me fly
from Florida for this,
83
00:03:01,706 --> 00:03:04,206
and then she criticizes
my jacket.
84
00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:07,472
At least
come and say hello,
85
00:03:07,506 --> 00:03:09,339
have a cup of coffee,
then you leave.
86
00:03:09,372 --> 00:03:11,039
How come he gets to leave?
87
00:03:12,872 --> 00:03:16,306
If I wind up sitting
next to uncle Leo, I am leaving.
88
00:03:16,339 --> 00:03:18,939
He's always grabbing my arm
when he talks to me.
89
00:03:18,972 --> 00:03:20,906
I guess it's because
so many people have left
90
00:03:20,939 --> 00:03:23,345
in the middle
of his conversation.
91
00:03:23,345 --> 00:03:24,072
in the middle
of his conversation.
92
00:03:24,106 --> 00:03:25,806
And it's always
about Jeffrey, right?
93
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:29,506
Yeah. He talks about him
like he split the atom.
94
00:03:29,539 --> 00:03:31,372
The kid works
for the Parks department.
95
00:03:32,372 --> 00:03:34,472
Morty, you coming in?
96
00:03:34,506 --> 00:03:37,006
Oh, yeah!
I forgot all about it.
97
00:03:37,039 --> 00:03:38,506
Hey. How'd you do?
98
00:03:38,539 --> 00:03:40,172
We won. We're in
the finals on Wednesday.
99
00:03:40,206 --> 00:03:41,306
Yeah!
100
00:03:41,339 --> 00:03:42,506
What is this about?
101
00:03:42,539 --> 00:03:44,006
I'm completely changing
102
00:03:44,039 --> 00:03:45,639
the configuration
of the apartment.
103
00:03:45,672 --> 00:03:47,772
You're not going to believe it
when you see it.
104
00:03:47,806 --> 00:03:49,006
Whole new lifestyle.
105
00:03:49,039 --> 00:03:50,839
What are you doing?
106
00:03:50,872 --> 00:03:52,206
Levels.
107
00:03:53,706 --> 00:03:55,006
Levels?
108
00:03:55,039 --> 00:03:56,839
Yeah. I'm getting rid
of all my furniture,
109
00:03:56,872 --> 00:03:58,072
all of it,
110
00:03:58,106 --> 00:04:00,739
and I'm going to build
these different levels.
111
00:04:00,772 --> 00:04:02,239
You know, with steps.
112
00:04:02,272 --> 00:04:04,739
And it will all be carpeted.
113
00:04:04,772 --> 00:04:06,739
A lot of pillows.
114
00:04:06,772 --> 00:04:07,739
You know, like ancient Egypt.
115
00:04:07,772 --> 00:04:08,739
Hmm.
116
00:04:08,772 --> 00:04:11,906
You drew up plans for this?
117
00:04:11,939 --> 00:04:13,339
No, no, it's all in my head.
118
00:04:13,372 --> 00:04:15,672
I don't see how you can get
comfortable like that.
119
00:04:15,706 --> 00:04:17,772
Oh, I'll get comfortable.
120
00:04:17,806 --> 00:04:20,106
When do you intend
to do this?
121
00:04:20,139 --> 00:04:23,345
Oh, should be done by
the end of the month.
122
00:04:23,345 --> 00:04:23,406
Oh, should be done by
the end of the month.
123
00:04:23,439 --> 00:04:24,939
You're going
to do this yourself?
124
00:04:24,972 --> 00:04:27,672
It's a simple job.
125
00:04:27,706 --> 00:04:29,106
Why? You don't
think I can, huh?
126
00:04:29,139 --> 00:04:31,106
Oh, no. It's not
that I don't think you can.
127
00:04:31,139 --> 00:04:34,806
I know that you can't,
and I'm positive that you won't.
128
00:04:36,672 --> 00:04:38,739
Well, I got the tools,
I got the pillows,
129
00:04:38,772 --> 00:04:40,339
all I need is the lumber.
130
00:04:40,372 --> 00:04:42,106
Hey, that's
some big job.
131
00:04:42,139 --> 00:04:46,639
I don't see it happening.
132
00:04:46,672 --> 00:04:48,572
Yeah, well, this time--
This time, you're wrong.
133
00:04:48,606 --> 00:04:50,006
Come on, I'll even bet you.
134
00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:51,006
Seriously?
135
00:04:51,039 --> 00:04:52,106
I don't want
you betting.
136
00:04:52,139 --> 00:04:53,345
Morty, don't
let them bet.
137
00:04:53,345 --> 00:04:53,506
Morty, don't
let them bet.
138
00:04:53,539 --> 00:04:55,172
A big dinner,
with dessert,
139
00:04:55,206 --> 00:04:57,006
but I got till
the end of the month.
140
00:04:57,039 --> 00:04:59,006
I'll give you a year.
141
00:04:59,039 --> 00:05:00,006
No, no...
142
00:05:00,039 --> 00:05:02,306
No, no, no. A month.
End of the month.
143
00:05:02,339 --> 00:05:03,372
It's a bet.
144
00:05:14,439 --> 00:05:16,372
JERRY: Seriously,
do you want to switch chairs?
145
00:05:21,839 --> 00:05:22,806
No, no.
146
00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:23,345
I'm fine.
147
00:05:23,345 --> 00:05:24,406
I'm fine.
148
00:05:24,439 --> 00:05:26,639
Oh, Jerry,
you listening to this?
149
00:05:26,672 --> 00:05:29,572
Yeah, Uncle Leo.
150
00:05:29,606 --> 00:05:30,572
So...
151
00:05:30,606 --> 00:05:31,906
So now
the Parks commissioner
152
00:05:31,939 --> 00:05:35,739
is recommending Jeffrey
for a citation.
153
00:05:35,772 --> 00:05:39,172
Right, for the, uh,
reducing of the pond scum?
154
00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:43,306
No, no, no.
For the walking tours.
155
00:05:43,339 --> 00:05:46,806
Oh, yeah, where the people
eat the plant life,
156
00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:48,072
the edible-foliage tour.
157
00:05:48,106 --> 00:05:50,472
LEO: That's exactly right.
158
00:05:50,506 --> 00:05:53,345
He knows the whole
history of the park.
159
00:05:53,345 --> 00:05:54,472
He knows the whole
history of the park.
160
00:05:54,506 --> 00:05:58,306
For two hours, he's talking
and answering questions.
161
00:05:58,339 --> 00:06:00,606
But you want
to know something?
162
00:06:00,639 --> 00:06:02,672
Whenever he has a problem
with one of these
163
00:06:02,706 --> 00:06:05,439
high-powered big shots
from the Parks department,
164
00:06:05,472 --> 00:06:08,172
you know who he calls?
165
00:06:08,206 --> 00:06:09,506
Mickey Mantle?
166
00:06:09,539 --> 00:06:12,672
ELAINE:
Jerry. Jerry.
167
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:14,672
Did you
taste these peas?
168
00:06:14,706 --> 00:06:16,972
These-- These peas
are great.
169
00:06:17,006 --> 00:06:20,606
These peas are bursting
with country-fresh flavor.
170
00:06:22,539 --> 00:06:23,345
Mm, phenomenal peas.
171
00:06:23,345 --> 00:06:24,672
Mm, phenomenal peas.
172
00:06:24,706 --> 00:06:26,339
Mm.
173
00:06:26,372 --> 00:06:28,306
Are you ready for dessert?
174
00:06:28,339 --> 00:06:32,672
Well, actually, we do have
to kind of get going.
175
00:06:32,706 --> 00:06:34,306
You're going?
176
00:06:34,339 --> 00:06:37,272
Oh, uh, I don't
really eat dessert.
177
00:06:37,306 --> 00:06:38,939
I'm dieting.
178
00:06:38,972 --> 00:06:40,172
Yeah, I can't
eat dessert either.
179
00:06:40,206 --> 00:06:42,172
The sugar makes
my ankles swell up
180
00:06:42,206 --> 00:06:43,172
and I can't dance.
181
00:06:43,206 --> 00:06:44,839
Can't dance?
182
00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:47,172
HELEN:
He's kidding, Manya.
183
00:06:47,206 --> 00:06:49,839
MANYA:
Is that a joke?
184
00:06:49,872 --> 00:06:52,006
So did you hear
Claire's getting married?
185
00:06:52,039 --> 00:06:53,345
Yeah, yeah.
186
00:06:53,345 --> 00:06:53,439
Yeah, yeah.
187
00:06:53,472 --> 00:06:55,772
I hear the fellow
owns a couple race horses.
188
00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:57,172
You know, trotters,
like at Yonkers.
189
00:06:57,206 --> 00:06:58,172
JERRY: Horses.
190
00:06:58,206 --> 00:07:00,839
They're like big riding dogs.
191
00:07:00,872 --> 00:07:02,472
ELAINE:
What about ponies, huh?
192
00:07:02,506 --> 00:07:04,906
What kind of
abnormal animal is that?
193
00:07:04,939 --> 00:07:08,006
And those kids
who had their own ponies...
194
00:07:08,039 --> 00:07:09,672
I know, I hated those kids.
195
00:07:09,706 --> 00:07:11,339
In fact, I hate anyone
196
00:07:11,372 --> 00:07:13,339
that ever had a pony
when they were growing up.
197
00:07:13,372 --> 00:07:15,039
I had a pony.
198
00:07:20,539 --> 00:07:23,345
Well, I didn't,
uh, really mean a pony per se.
199
00:07:23,345 --> 00:07:24,839
Well, I didn't,
uh, really mean a pony per se.
200
00:07:24,872 --> 00:07:28,472
When I was
a little girl in Poland,
201
00:07:28,506 --> 00:07:30,806
we all had ponies.
202
00:07:30,839 --> 00:07:34,172
My sister had pony.
My cousin had pony.
203
00:07:34,206 --> 00:07:35,739
So, what's wrong with that?
204
00:07:35,772 --> 00:07:37,639
Nothing. Nothing at all.
205
00:07:37,672 --> 00:07:38,839
I was just merely expressing--
206
00:07:38,872 --> 00:07:40,339
Should we have
some coffee?
207
00:07:40,372 --> 00:07:42,772
Who's having coffee?
208
00:07:42,806 --> 00:07:44,839
He was a beautiful pony.
209
00:07:44,872 --> 00:07:46,506
And I loved him.
210
00:07:46,539 --> 00:07:48,172
Well, I'm sure you did.
211
00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:49,572
Who wouldn't love a pony?
212
00:07:49,606 --> 00:07:52,406
Who wouldn't love a person
that had a pony?
213
00:07:52,439 --> 00:07:53,345
You.
214
00:07:53,345 --> 00:07:53,639
You.
215
00:07:53,672 --> 00:07:54,839
You said so.
216
00:07:54,872 --> 00:07:57,606
No, see, we didn't have ponies.
217
00:07:57,639 --> 00:07:59,806
I'm sure at that time in Poland,
they were very common.
218
00:07:59,839 --> 00:08:02,106
They were probably
like compact cars.
219
00:08:04,372 --> 00:08:05,739
That's it!
220
00:08:05,772 --> 00:08:07,839
I had enough!
221
00:08:11,806 --> 00:08:13,106
Have your coffee,
everybody.
222
00:08:13,139 --> 00:08:15,506
She's a little upset.
223
00:08:15,539 --> 00:08:17,172
It's been an emotional day.
224
00:08:20,306 --> 00:08:23,272
I didn't know
she had a pony.
225
00:08:23,306 --> 00:08:23,345
How was I to know
she had a pony?
226
00:08:23,345 --> 00:08:26,306
How was I to know
she had a pony?
227
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:28,372
Who figures an immigrant's
gonna have a pony?
228
00:08:30,472 --> 00:08:34,106
Do you know
what the odds are on that?
229
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:35,672
I mean,
in all the pictures I saw
230
00:08:35,706 --> 00:08:38,806
of immigrants on boats
coming into New York harbor,
231
00:08:38,839 --> 00:08:41,039
I never saw one of them
sitting on a pony.
232
00:08:43,339 --> 00:08:46,906
Why would anyone come here
if they had a pony?
233
00:08:46,939 --> 00:08:48,506
Who leaves a country
packed with ponies
234
00:08:48,539 --> 00:08:50,206
to come to
a non-pony country?
235
00:08:51,972 --> 00:08:53,345
It doesn't make sense.
236
00:08:53,345 --> 00:08:54,639
It doesn't make sense.
237
00:08:54,672 --> 00:08:57,206
Am I wrong?
238
00:09:00,439 --> 00:09:02,172
I'll drive you
to the airport.
239
00:09:02,206 --> 00:09:04,672
No, we're taking a cab.
240
00:09:04,706 --> 00:09:06,672
I just hope
that the whole pony incident
241
00:09:06,706 --> 00:09:09,506
didn't put a damper
on the trip.
242
00:09:09,539 --> 00:09:12,139
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
It was a misunderstanding.
243
00:09:12,172 --> 00:09:14,106
Hey, I agree with him.
244
00:09:14,139 --> 00:09:17,006
Nobody likes
a kid with a pony.
245
00:09:17,039 --> 00:09:19,506
Well, if you ever talk to her,
tell her I'm sorry.
246
00:09:19,539 --> 00:09:21,172
Elaine too.
She feels terrible.
247
00:09:21,206 --> 00:09:23,139
You know, you should
give Manya a call.
248
00:09:23,172 --> 00:09:23,345
Maybe I will.
249
00:09:23,345 --> 00:09:24,839
Maybe I will.
250
00:09:24,872 --> 00:09:26,006
Oh, hey.
251
00:09:26,039 --> 00:09:27,272
Hey.
252
00:09:27,306 --> 00:09:30,139
I, uh, just came to say goodbye.
253
00:09:30,172 --> 00:09:31,139
Need any help with those?
254
00:09:31,172 --> 00:09:33,239
Oh, it's nothing.
I got it.
255
00:09:33,272 --> 00:09:35,006
So, how are your levels
coming along?
256
00:09:35,039 --> 00:09:37,972
Uh, well, I decided
I'm not going to do it.
257
00:09:39,706 --> 00:09:40,739
Really?
258
00:09:40,772 --> 00:09:42,472
What a shock.
259
00:09:42,506 --> 00:09:43,472
Goodbye, Jerry.
260
00:09:43,506 --> 00:09:44,472
Take care.
261
00:09:44,506 --> 00:09:45,472
We'll call you.
262
00:09:45,506 --> 00:09:46,472
Bye, Jer.
263
00:09:46,506 --> 00:09:47,472
Bye, Dad, take it easy.
264
00:09:47,506 --> 00:09:48,472
Bye, Mr. Kramer.
265
00:09:48,506 --> 00:09:49,639
Yeah, so long, Morty.
266
00:09:52,339 --> 00:09:53,345
So...when do I get
my dinner?
267
00:09:53,345 --> 00:09:56,506
So...when do I get
my dinner?
268
00:09:56,539 --> 00:09:57,839
There's no dinner.
269
00:09:57,872 --> 00:10:00,439
The bet's off.
I'm not going to do it.
270
00:10:00,472 --> 00:10:02,006
Yes, I know
you're not gonna do it,
271
00:10:02,039 --> 00:10:03,106
that's why I bet.
272
00:10:03,139 --> 00:10:05,272
There's no bet
if I'm not doing it.
273
00:10:05,306 --> 00:10:07,672
That's the bet,
that you're not doing it.
274
00:10:07,706 --> 00:10:10,172
Yeah, well, I could do it,
I don't want to do it.
275
00:10:10,206 --> 00:10:12,172
We didn't bet on
if you wanted to do it,
276
00:10:12,206 --> 00:10:13,906
we bet on if it would be done.
277
00:10:13,939 --> 00:10:15,006
And it could be done.
278
00:10:15,039 --> 00:10:17,572
Well, of course,
it could be done.
279
00:10:17,606 --> 00:10:18,906
Anything could be done,
280
00:10:18,939 --> 00:10:22,506
but it only is done
if it's done.
281
00:10:22,539 --> 00:10:23,345
Show me the levels.
282
00:10:23,345 --> 00:10:24,172
Show me the levels.
283
00:10:24,206 --> 00:10:25,839
The bet is the levels.
284
00:10:25,872 --> 00:10:27,639
I don't want the levels.
285
00:10:27,672 --> 00:10:29,239
That's the bet!
286
00:10:29,272 --> 00:10:31,572
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
287
00:10:31,606 --> 00:10:32,639
Man!
288
00:10:33,872 --> 00:10:34,839
Hello.
289
00:10:34,872 --> 00:10:36,839
No.
290
00:10:36,872 --> 00:10:39,972
Oh, hi.
291
00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:43,672
No, they just left.
292
00:10:43,706 --> 00:10:46,072
Oh, my God.
293
00:10:46,106 --> 00:10:48,139
Hang on a second.
Maybe I can still catch them.
294
00:10:51,106 --> 00:10:53,139
Ma! Ma, up here!
295
00:10:53,172 --> 00:10:53,345
Don't get in the cab!
296
00:10:53,345 --> 00:10:55,572
Don't get in the cab!
297
00:10:55,606 --> 00:10:57,906
Manya died!
298
00:10:57,939 --> 00:11:00,606
Manya died!
299
00:11:06,462 --> 00:11:07,529
Who'd you talk to?
300
00:11:07,685 --> 00:11:08,885
Uncle Leo.
301
00:11:08,919 --> 00:11:10,419
And when's the funeral?
I don't know.
302
00:11:10,452 --> 00:11:11,552
He said he'd call back.
303
00:11:11,585 --> 00:11:13,452
You know what this means,
don't you?
304
00:11:13,485 --> 00:11:14,652
We lost the supersaver.
305
00:11:14,685 --> 00:11:16,985
Those tickets are nonrefundable.
306
00:11:18,752 --> 00:11:20,085
She just had a check-up.
307
00:11:20,119 --> 00:11:21,952
The doctor said
she was fine.
308
00:11:23,519 --> 00:11:25,952
Unless...
What?
309
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:27,319
What?
310
00:11:27,352 --> 00:11:29,919
Nothing.
311
00:11:29,952 --> 00:11:31,885
You don't think...
312
00:11:31,919 --> 00:11:32,537
What, the pony remark?
313
00:11:32,537 --> 00:11:33,252
What, the pony remark?
314
00:11:33,285 --> 00:11:35,485
Oh, don't be ridiculous.
315
00:11:35,519 --> 00:11:36,985
She was an old woman.
316
00:11:37,019 --> 00:11:38,319
You don't think I killed her?
317
00:11:39,685 --> 00:11:41,552
You know what that flight back
will cost us?
318
00:11:41,585 --> 00:11:43,419
It was an innocent comment.
319
00:11:43,452 --> 00:11:45,152
I didn't know she had a pony.
320
00:11:45,185 --> 00:11:48,419
Maybe we could get
an Army transport flight.
321
00:11:48,452 --> 00:11:50,419
They got a base in Sarasota,
I think.
322
00:11:50,452 --> 00:11:52,719
I mean, the whole thing
was taken out of context.
323
00:11:52,752 --> 00:11:53,752
It was a joke.
324
00:11:53,785 --> 00:11:55,285
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
325
00:11:55,319 --> 00:11:58,819
That's probably Uncle Leo.
326
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:00,919
Hello?
327
00:12:00,952 --> 00:12:02,537
Yes, I know.
328
00:12:02,537 --> 00:12:03,785
Yes, I know.
329
00:12:03,819 --> 00:12:06,652
Well, it's just
one of those things.
330
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:10,485
Sure, sure.
We'll see you then.
331
00:12:10,519 --> 00:12:12,619
The funeral's Wednesday.
332
00:12:12,652 --> 00:12:13,619
Wednesday?
333
00:12:13,652 --> 00:12:15,619
What--? What Wednesday?
334
00:12:15,652 --> 00:12:17,219
2:00, Wednesday.
335
00:12:17,252 --> 00:12:18,485
Ah...
336
00:12:18,519 --> 00:12:19,478
What?
337
00:12:19,501 --> 00:12:21,068
I got the softball game
on Wednesday.
338
00:12:21,101 --> 00:12:22,335
It's the championship.
339
00:12:22,368 --> 00:12:25,201
So you're not obligated.
Go play in your game.
340
00:12:25,235 --> 00:12:27,001
I didn't even know the woman.
341
00:12:27,035 --> 00:12:28,001
So don't go.
342
00:12:28,035 --> 00:12:29,401
I mean, I met her three times.
343
00:12:29,435 --> 00:12:30,835
I don't even know her last name.
344
00:12:30,868 --> 00:12:32,501
Jerry, no one's forcing you.
345
00:12:32,535 --> 00:12:32,537
I mean, who has a funeral
on a Wednesday?
346
00:12:32,537 --> 00:12:36,501
I mean, who has a funeral
on a Wednesday?
347
00:12:36,535 --> 00:12:37,735
That's what I want to know.
348
00:12:37,768 --> 00:12:39,201
I mean, it's the championship.
349
00:12:39,235 --> 00:12:40,501
I'm hitting everything.
350
00:12:40,535 --> 00:12:42,501
I don't have
a dress to wear.
351
00:12:42,535 --> 00:12:44,168
And you,
you don't have anything.
352
00:12:44,201 --> 00:12:47,735
I got my sport jacket.
353
00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:49,635
You're not wearing
that to a funeral.
354
00:12:49,668 --> 00:12:50,735
What's wrong with it?
355
00:12:50,768 --> 00:12:51,968
It looks ridiculous.
356
00:12:52,001 --> 00:12:53,968
What, I'm going to buy
a new sport jacket now?
357
00:12:54,001 --> 00:12:55,368
I don't know
what to do.
358
00:12:55,401 --> 00:12:58,501
You know what this funeral
is going to wind up costing me?
359
00:12:58,535 --> 00:12:59,868
Oh, boy.
360
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:02,537
We don't understand death,
361
00:13:02,537 --> 00:13:04,335
We don't understand death,
362
00:13:04,368 --> 00:13:05,401
and the proof of this
363
00:13:05,435 --> 00:13:08,701
is that we give dead people
a pillow.
364
00:13:08,735 --> 00:13:10,901
And, I mean, hey, you know,
365
00:13:10,935 --> 00:13:13,801
I think
if you can't stretch out
366
00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:17,368
and get
some solid rest at that point,
367
00:13:17,401 --> 00:13:19,968
I don't see
how bedding accessories
368
00:13:20,001 --> 00:13:22,868
really make the difference.
369
00:13:22,901 --> 00:13:25,735
I mean, they got the guy
in a suit with a pillow.
370
00:13:25,768 --> 00:13:27,468
Now, is he going to a meeting,
371
00:13:27,501 --> 00:13:29,468
or is he catching 40 winks?
372
00:13:29,501 --> 00:13:31,868
I mean, let's make up our mind
where we think they're going.
373
00:13:33,701 --> 00:13:35,635
I actually like ponies.
374
00:13:35,668 --> 00:13:38,668
I was just trying
to make conversation.
375
00:13:38,701 --> 00:13:40,701
What time is your game?
376
00:13:40,735 --> 00:13:42,735
2:45.
377
00:13:42,768 --> 00:13:45,068
And what time
is the funeral?
378
00:13:45,101 --> 00:13:46,701
Two o'clock.
379
00:13:46,735 --> 00:13:48,068
How long does
a funeral take?
380
00:13:48,101 --> 00:13:51,668
Depends on how nice
the person was,
381
00:13:51,701 --> 00:13:56,901
but you got to figure
even Oswald took 45 minutes.
382
00:13:56,935 --> 00:13:58,901
So you can't do both.
383
00:13:58,935 --> 00:14:01,468
You know, if the situation
were reversed
384
00:14:01,501 --> 00:14:02,537
and Manya had some
mahjong championship,
385
00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:03,568
and Manya had some
mahjong championship,
386
00:14:03,601 --> 00:14:05,568
or something,
387
00:14:05,601 --> 00:14:07,568
I wouldn't expect her
to go to my funeral.
388
00:14:07,601 --> 00:14:09,901
I would understand.
389
00:14:09,935 --> 00:14:12,135
How can you even
consider not going?
390
00:14:12,168 --> 00:14:15,001
You know, I've been thinking.
391
00:14:15,035 --> 00:14:16,835
I cannot envision
any circumstance
392
00:14:16,868 --> 00:14:18,068
in which I'll ever have
393
00:14:18,101 --> 00:14:20,035
the opportunity
to have sex again.
394
00:14:22,701 --> 00:14:25,601
How's it going to happen?
395
00:14:27,701 --> 00:14:29,635
I just don't see
how it could occur.
396
00:14:29,668 --> 00:14:32,537
You know, funerals
always make me think
397
00:14:32,537 --> 00:14:33,068
You know, funerals
always make me think
398
00:14:33,101 --> 00:14:34,301
about my own mortality
399
00:14:34,335 --> 00:14:37,335
and how I'm actually
going to die some day.
400
00:14:37,368 --> 00:14:39,401
Me, dead.
401
00:14:39,435 --> 00:14:40,835
Huh, imagine that.
402
00:14:40,868 --> 00:14:43,468
They always make me
take stock of my life
403
00:14:43,501 --> 00:14:45,468
and how I've pretty much
wasted all of it.
404
00:14:45,501 --> 00:14:47,635
and how I plan
to continue wasting it.
405
00:14:47,668 --> 00:14:49,901
I know, and then
you say to yourself,
406
00:14:49,935 --> 00:14:53,235
"From this moment on,
I'm not wasting any more of it."
407
00:14:53,268 --> 00:14:54,835
But then you go, "How?
408
00:14:54,868 --> 00:14:56,901
I mean, what can I do
that's not wasting it?"
409
00:14:56,935 --> 00:14:58,301
Well, is this
a waste of time?
410
00:14:58,335 --> 00:14:59,735
What should we be doing?
411
00:14:59,768 --> 00:15:01,701
Can't you have
coffee with people?
412
00:15:01,735 --> 00:15:02,537
You know, I can't believe
413
00:15:02,537 --> 00:15:03,568
You know, I can't believe
414
00:15:03,601 --> 00:15:05,635
you're even considering
not playing.
415
00:15:05,668 --> 00:15:07,635
We need you.
You're hitting everything.
416
00:15:07,668 --> 00:15:09,001
He has to go.
417
00:15:09,035 --> 00:15:11,035
He may have killed her.
418
00:15:12,935 --> 00:15:14,568
Me? What about you?
419
00:15:14,601 --> 00:15:16,235
You brought up the pony.
420
00:15:16,268 --> 00:15:18,401
Oh, yeah,
421
00:15:18,435 --> 00:15:22,201
but I didn't say
I hated anyone who had one.
422
00:15:22,235 --> 00:15:23,568
Who's going to play left field?
423
00:15:23,601 --> 00:15:25,568
Bender?
424
00:15:25,601 --> 00:15:27,968
Bender? He can't play left.
425
00:15:28,001 --> 00:15:29,535
He stinks.
426
00:15:29,568 --> 00:15:32,537
I just don't see what purpose
it's going to serve, you going.
427
00:15:32,537 --> 00:15:32,835
I just don't see what purpose
it's going to serve, you going.
428
00:15:32,868 --> 00:15:36,335
I mean, you think dead people
care who's at their funeral?
429
00:15:36,368 --> 00:15:38,401
They don't even know
they're having a funeral.
430
00:15:38,435 --> 00:15:40,401
It's not like she's hanging out
in the back going,
431
00:15:40,435 --> 00:15:42,701
"I can't believe
Jerry didn't show up."
432
00:15:42,735 --> 00:15:45,801
Maybe she's there in spirit.
How about that?
433
00:15:45,835 --> 00:15:48,068
If you're a spirit,
434
00:15:48,101 --> 00:15:50,635
and you can travel to other
dimensions and galaxies,
435
00:15:50,668 --> 00:15:53,201
and find out
the mysteries of the universe,
436
00:15:53,235 --> 00:15:54,801
you think she's gonna want
to hang out
437
00:15:54,835 --> 00:15:56,235
at Drexler's funeral home
on Ocean Parkway?
438
00:15:56,268 --> 00:15:59,135
George, I met this woman.
439
00:15:59,168 --> 00:16:01,501
She is not traveling
to any other dimensions.
440
00:16:01,535 --> 00:16:02,537
Do you know how easy it is
for dead people to travel?
441
00:16:02,537 --> 00:16:06,068
Do you know how easy it is
for dead people to travel?
442
00:16:06,101 --> 00:16:07,735
It's not like getting on a bus.
443
00:16:07,768 --> 00:16:10,201
One second.
It's all mental.
444
00:16:14,601 --> 00:16:16,801
50 years
they were married.
445
00:16:16,835 --> 00:16:17,801
Now he's moving
to Phoenix.
446
00:16:17,835 --> 00:16:20,368
Phoenix?
447
00:16:20,401 --> 00:16:22,468
What's happening
with his apartment?
448
00:16:22,501 --> 00:16:23,668
I don't know.
449
00:16:23,701 --> 00:16:25,735
They've been in there
since, like, World War II.
450
00:16:25,768 --> 00:16:27,535
Rent's $300 a month.
451
00:16:27,568 --> 00:16:30,668
Three hundred a month?
452
00:16:30,701 --> 00:16:32,537
Oh, my God.
453
00:16:32,537 --> 00:16:33,068
Oh, my God.
454
00:16:33,101 --> 00:16:37,235
EULOGIST:
Although this may seem
like a sad event,
455
00:16:37,268 --> 00:16:39,801
it should not be
a day of mourning,
456
00:16:39,835 --> 00:16:44,035
for Manya had
a rich, fulfilling life.
457
00:16:44,068 --> 00:16:47,201
She grew up
in a different world,
458
00:16:47,235 --> 00:16:48,801
a simpler world,
459
00:16:48,835 --> 00:16:52,735
with loving parents,
a beautiful home in the country,
460
00:16:52,768 --> 00:16:55,501
and, from what I understand,
she even had a pony.
461
00:16:58,068 --> 00:17:01,068
Oh, how she loved
that pony.
462
00:17:01,101 --> 00:17:02,537
[MUTTERS]
463
00:17:02,537 --> 00:17:03,468
[MUTTERS]
464
00:17:03,501 --> 00:17:05,501
Even in her
declining years,
465
00:17:05,535 --> 00:17:10,501
whenever she would speak of it,
her eyes would light up.
466
00:17:10,535 --> 00:17:11,535
Its lustrous coat,
467
00:17:11,568 --> 00:17:14,301
its flowing mane.
468
00:17:14,335 --> 00:17:17,268
It was the pride
of Crakow.
469
00:17:23,168 --> 00:17:26,901
Well, the game's starting
just about now.
470
00:17:26,935 --> 00:17:28,868
It was good that
the two of you came.
471
00:17:28,901 --> 00:17:30,001
It was a nice gesture.
472
00:17:30,035 --> 00:17:31,568
I'm not a doctor yet,
Uncle Morty.
473
00:17:31,601 --> 00:17:32,537
I'm just an intern.
474
00:17:32,537 --> 00:17:33,068
I'm just an intern.
475
00:17:33,101 --> 00:17:34,601
I can't write a note
to an airline.
476
00:17:37,001 --> 00:17:38,735
You got your degree.
They don't care.
477
00:17:38,768 --> 00:17:40,601
They just want
to see something.
478
00:17:41,901 --> 00:17:44,235
I just wanted to say
how sorry I was.
479
00:17:44,268 --> 00:17:48,068
Jerry, you want
to hear something?
480
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:50,868
Your cousin Jeffrey
is switching parks.
481
00:17:50,901 --> 00:17:53,001
They're transferring him
to Riverside,
482
00:17:53,035 --> 00:17:55,068
so he'll completely revamp
that operation.
483
00:17:55,101 --> 00:17:56,235
You understand?
484
00:17:56,268 --> 00:17:57,568
Yeah.
485
00:17:57,601 --> 00:18:02,168
He'll do in Riverside now
what he did in Central Park.
486
00:18:02,201 --> 00:18:02,537
More money.
487
00:18:02,537 --> 00:18:03,801
More money.
488
00:18:03,835 --> 00:18:07,901
So...that's your cousin.
489
00:18:07,935 --> 00:18:09,801
You don't understand.
490
00:18:09,835 --> 00:18:12,001
I've never paid full fare.
491
00:18:12,035 --> 00:18:13,568
Once again,
I just wanted to say
492
00:18:13,601 --> 00:18:16,335
how sorry I am
about the other night.
493
00:18:16,368 --> 00:18:17,401
Oh, me too.
494
00:18:17,435 --> 00:18:19,668
No, no, no.
She forgot all about that.
495
00:18:21,035 --> 00:18:24,301
She was much more upset
about the potato salad.
496
00:18:24,335 --> 00:18:28,135
So I understand
you're moving to Phoenix.
497
00:18:28,168 --> 00:18:29,301
Yeah.
498
00:18:29,335 --> 00:18:30,401
My brother lives there.
499
00:18:30,435 --> 00:18:32,537
I think Manya
would have liked Phoenix.
500
00:18:32,537 --> 00:18:33,335
I think Manya
would have liked Phoenix.
501
00:18:33,368 --> 00:18:36,468
Mm. Gorgeous,
exquisite town.
502
00:18:36,501 --> 00:18:40,335
So, what's happening
with your apartment?
503
00:18:40,368 --> 00:18:43,535
Of course,
it's very hot there.
504
00:18:43,568 --> 00:18:45,068
I'll have to get
an air conditioner.
505
00:18:45,101 --> 00:18:46,301
Oh, you can have mine.
506
00:18:46,335 --> 00:18:47,901
I'll ship it out to you.
507
00:18:47,935 --> 00:18:49,568
But what about
508
00:18:49,601 --> 00:18:52,735
that big apartment
on West End Avenue?
509
00:18:52,768 --> 00:18:55,068
Although they say
it's a dry heat.
510
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:56,368
Dry, wet.
511
00:18:56,401 --> 00:18:59,735
What's happening
with your apartment?
512
00:18:59,768 --> 00:19:01,068
I don't even know
513
00:19:01,101 --> 00:19:02,537
if I should take
my winter clothing.
514
00:19:02,537 --> 00:19:03,901
if I should take
my winter clothing.
515
00:19:05,701 --> 00:19:07,901
I have an idea.
516
00:19:07,935 --> 00:19:11,201
Leave the winter clothing
in the apartment,
517
00:19:11,235 --> 00:19:13,301
and I'll watch it for you,
518
00:19:13,335 --> 00:19:14,701
and I'll live there,
519
00:19:14,735 --> 00:19:17,868
and I'll make sure
that nothing happens to it.
520
00:19:17,901 --> 00:19:20,901
Oh, the apartment.
521
00:19:20,935 --> 00:19:22,635
Jeffrey's taking the apartment.
522
00:19:22,668 --> 00:19:25,235
Oh, Jeffrey.
523
00:19:25,268 --> 00:19:27,735
You know Jeffrey.
524
00:19:27,768 --> 00:19:29,801
Yeah, from what
I understand,
525
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:32,135
he works
for the Parks department.
526
00:19:32,168 --> 00:19:32,537
[THUNDER CLAPPING]
527
00:19:32,537 --> 00:19:35,001
[THUNDER CLAPPING]
528
00:19:35,035 --> 00:19:37,035
It's raining.
529
00:19:37,068 --> 00:19:38,235
JERRY:
It's raining?
530
00:19:38,268 --> 00:19:41,735
It's raining.
531
00:19:41,768 --> 00:19:43,735
The game will be postponed.
532
00:19:43,768 --> 00:19:45,468
We'll play tomorrow.
533
00:19:45,501 --> 00:19:48,035
Believe me,
I wouldn't bother you
534
00:19:48,068 --> 00:19:52,235
if the Army hadn't closed
that base in Sarasota.
535
00:19:52,268 --> 00:19:54,635
Here, scribble
a little something here.
536
00:19:54,668 --> 00:19:56,501
I can't.
I'll get in trouble.
537
00:19:56,535 --> 00:19:58,268
Oh, for God's sake.
538
00:20:00,335 --> 00:20:02,537
Who gets picked off in softball?
539
00:20:02,537 --> 00:20:02,601
Who gets picked off in softball?
540
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:05,835
It's unheard of.
541
00:20:05,868 --> 00:20:06,835
Never happened to me before.
542
00:20:06,868 --> 00:20:09,635
I remember saying
to myself,
543
00:20:09,668 --> 00:20:13,135
"Why is Jerry
so far off the base?"
544
00:20:13,168 --> 00:20:15,068
I'll have to live
with this shame
545
00:20:15,101 --> 00:20:16,668
for the rest of my life.
546
00:20:16,701 --> 00:20:18,068
Then in the fifth inning,
547
00:20:18,101 --> 00:20:19,968
why did you take off
on the pop fly?
548
00:20:20,001 --> 00:20:21,901
I thought
there were two outs.
549
00:20:21,935 --> 00:20:25,301
I couldn't believe it
when I saw you running.
550
00:20:25,335 --> 00:20:28,368
I thought maybe they had
changed the rules or something.
551
00:20:29,601 --> 00:20:32,168
It was the single
worst moment of my life.
552
00:20:32,201 --> 00:20:32,537
What about Sharon Besser?
553
00:20:32,537 --> 00:20:33,901
What about Sharon Besser?
554
00:20:33,935 --> 00:20:36,468
Oh, well, of course, 1973.
555
00:20:36,501 --> 00:20:39,068
Makes you wonder,
though, doesn't it?
556
00:20:39,101 --> 00:20:40,068
Wonder about what?
557
00:20:41,835 --> 00:20:43,068
You know.
558
00:20:43,101 --> 00:20:44,068
The spirit world.
559
00:20:45,868 --> 00:20:47,635
What, you think Manya
showed up during the game
560
00:20:47,668 --> 00:20:48,835
and put a hex on me?
561
00:20:48,868 --> 00:20:52,335
I never saw anyone
play like that.
562
00:20:52,368 --> 00:20:54,368
But I went to the funeral.
563
00:20:54,401 --> 00:20:59,635
Yeah, but that doesn't
make up for killing her.
564
00:20:59,668 --> 00:21:00,968
Maybe Manya
missed the funeral
565
00:21:01,001 --> 00:21:02,537
because she was off visiting
another galaxy that day.
566
00:21:02,537 --> 00:21:03,868
because she was off visiting
another galaxy that day.
567
00:21:03,901 --> 00:21:06,901
Don't you think she would
have heard I was there?
568
00:21:06,935 --> 00:21:10,035
Not necessarily.
569
00:21:12,568 --> 00:21:16,035
Who figures an immigrant's
going to have a pony?
570
00:21:18,001 --> 00:21:19,401
What is the pony?
571
00:21:19,435 --> 00:21:20,801
What is the point of the pony?
572
00:21:20,835 --> 00:21:23,668
Why do we have these animals,
these ponies?
573
00:21:23,701 --> 00:21:26,901
What do we do with them,
besides the pony ride?
574
00:21:26,935 --> 00:21:29,401
Why ponies?
What are we doing with them?
575
00:21:29,435 --> 00:21:32,068
I mean, police don't use them
for, you know, crowd control.
576
00:21:32,101 --> 00:21:32,537
"Hey, uh, you want to get back
behind the barricades?
577
00:21:32,537 --> 00:21:36,335
"Hey, uh, you want to get back
behind the barricades?
578
00:21:36,368 --> 00:21:37,635
"Hey.
579
00:21:37,668 --> 00:21:39,635
"Hey, little boy.
580
00:21:39,668 --> 00:21:41,401
"Yeah, I'm talking to you.
581
00:21:41,435 --> 00:21:45,035
Just... Behind the barricades."
582
00:21:48,335 --> 00:21:50,068
So somebody, I assume,
583
00:21:50,101 --> 00:21:52,368
genetically engineered
these ponies.
584
00:21:52,401 --> 00:21:54,168
Do you think they could
make them any size?
585
00:21:54,201 --> 00:21:56,535
Could they make them,
like, the size of a quarter
586
00:21:56,568 --> 00:21:57,901
if they wanted?
587
00:21:57,935 --> 00:22:00,035
That would be fun for Monopoly,
though, wouldn't it?
588
00:22:00,068 --> 00:22:02,301
Just have a little pony,
and you put him on the...
589
00:22:02,335 --> 00:22:02,537
"Baltic.
That's two down, go ahead.
590
00:22:02,537 --> 00:22:04,568
"Baltic.
That's two down, go ahead.
591
00:22:04,601 --> 00:22:06,135
"Hold it.
Right there, Baltic.
592
00:22:06,168 --> 00:22:08,935
Yeah, fine. Right there.
Hold it right there."
41358
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