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1
00:00:54,020 --> 00:00:56,033
Say, I'm sorry about
the movie, Donna,
2
00:00:56,057 --> 00:01:00,870
but I thought "PG"
meant "pretty good."
3
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:02,605
No, "PG" means
4
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:04,807
they suggest parental guidance.
5
00:01:04,831 --> 00:01:06,510
Well, what am I supposed to do?
6
00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:09,513
I'm an orphan.
7
00:01:09,537 --> 00:01:11,781
It did have a lot of
sex and violence in it.
8
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,983
Yeah. You know, in the old days,
9
00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:15,552
they didn't mix it up like that.
10
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,154
See, if you wanted violence,
11
00:01:17,178 --> 00:01:18,455
you went to see James Cagney
12
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:19,789
or Humphrey Bogart,
13
00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:22,781
and if you wanted
sex, you went home.
14
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:29,199
You know, Fred, I
miss the old movies.
15
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,567
Yeah. Me too.
16
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:32,069
You know, like Mickey Rooney
17
00:01:32,093 --> 00:01:34,104
in Love Finds Andy Hardy.
18
00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:35,905
If they made that
same movie today,
19
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:39,876
they'd have to call it
"Love Finds Andy Naked."
20
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,011
Is it getting late?
21
00:01:42,035 --> 00:01:43,713
No.
22
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:45,182
As a matter of fact,
23
00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:46,516
I was wondering if I had time
24
00:01:46,540 --> 00:01:47,573
to come in for a minute.
25
00:01:50,177 --> 00:01:51,621
Y... You mean come in the house?
26
00:01:51,645 --> 00:01:53,090
May I?
27
00:01:53,114 --> 00:01:54,691
Yeah, sure.
28
00:01:54,715 --> 00:01:56,025
Uh, darling,
29
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:59,396
that movie didn't give
you no ideas, did it?
30
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:03,233
Fred... No, eh?
Come on in, honey.
31
00:02:03,257 --> 00:02:04,534
This is wonderful.
32
00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:06,636
Hey, you know... Hey, look.
33
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,538
All the lights are out.
34
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:10,740
I guess Lamont
went to bed early.
35
00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:13,776
We'll have the front
room all to ourselves.
36
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,247
And, Donna, you don't think
I'm a dirty old man, do you?
37
00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:18,715
No, Fred.
38
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:21,072
I don't think of
you as old at all.
39
00:02:22,709 --> 00:02:24,943
Come on.
40
00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:31,328
Surprise!
41
00:02:31,352 --> 00:02:32,596
Happy birthday, Pop!
42
00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:33,663
Yeah, happy birthday, Fred!
43
00:02:33,687 --> 00:02:36,433
Hey, we surprised
you, didn't we?
44
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:39,503
You almost
surprised me to death.
45
00:02:39,527 --> 00:02:40,570
This is just wonderful,
46
00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:42,038
all my friends and loved ones
47
00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:43,540
remembering my birthday.
48
00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:44,707
That's just great.
49
00:02:44,731 --> 00:02:46,143
Yeah.
50
00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:48,545
Hey, you was in
on this, wasn't you?
51
00:02:48,569 --> 00:02:50,247
Of course I was.
52
00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:51,581
You son of a gun, you.
53
00:02:51,605 --> 00:02:52,582
I should have known
54
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,184
that you had set me up for this.
55
00:02:54,208 --> 00:02:55,985
That's why you wanted
to come in the house.
56
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,409
Happy birthday, Fred.
57
00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,525
Hey, that's just...
That's wonderful.
58
00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:02,925
I mean, you know,
59
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:05,662
all your friends here, and
what... that's just great.
60
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:07,364
Hey, wait till you see
your present, Pop.
61
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:09,566
Oh, you didn't have to
give me no present, son.
62
00:03:09,590 --> 00:03:11,501
Just having all my
friends here together,
63
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:13,803
that's present enough for me.
64
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:15,505
Uh, what'd you get me?
65
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:19,576
Well, take a look.
66
00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,144
It's a... It's...
it's a pool table.
67
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:22,546
Hey, of course
it's a pool table,
68
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:23,547
and it's all yours.
69
00:03:23,571 --> 00:03:25,048
Son, this is great.
70
00:03:25,072 --> 00:03:26,849
This is the best present
you could've given me.
71
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,919
I mean, I've slept on them,
and I've played on them,
72
00:03:29,943 --> 00:03:31,921
but I never owned one.
73
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,590
Here you go, Pop.
74
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,458
Your own personal cue stick.
75
00:03:35,482 --> 00:03:36,459
Hey, you remembered everything.
76
00:03:36,483 --> 00:03:37,661
If you're going do it something,
77
00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:39,062
you might as well do it right.
78
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:40,664
Hey, why don't you
shoot a game, Pop?
79
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,199
Yeah, son. I sure will.
80
00:03:42,223 --> 00:03:43,300
Thanks. That's
what I'm going to do.
81
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:44,501
Hey, fellas,
82
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:46,536
get ready for some
real pool-shooting, now.
83
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,804
Since it's your table, Fred,
84
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:49,306
we'll let you break them.
85
00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:50,574
Because it might
be the last time
86
00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:52,838
you touch the ball tonight.
87
00:03:55,336 --> 00:03:56,446
Listen, Grady,
88
00:03:56,470 --> 00:03:58,948
I'll whip you like
I was your daddy.
89
00:03:58,972 --> 00:03:59,949
Okay, you all heard him.
90
00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:00,950
Yeah, sure did.
91
00:04:00,974 --> 00:04:02,252
All right, I got him first.
92
00:04:02,276 --> 00:04:04,654
Get on down here
and break the balls.
93
00:04:04,678 --> 00:04:05,855
Donna, excuse
me a minute, honey,
94
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:07,090
I won't be but a minute,
95
00:04:07,114 --> 00:04:08,325
and you can watch if you want.
96
00:04:08,349 --> 00:04:09,726
It won't take me long.
97
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,794
I just want to show the
fellas a few trick shots
98
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:15,031
that I learned from...
Minnesota Fats.
99
00:04:15,055 --> 00:04:16,032
Hurry up and break, Fred.
100
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:18,034
You can't talk the
balls into the pockets.
101
00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:19,035
$5.00 is the bet.
102
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:20,870
Bet!
103
00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:21,938
Oh, Lamont,
104
00:04:21,962 --> 00:04:23,506
it's the perfect
present for him.
105
00:04:23,530 --> 00:04:24,507
Yeah, I think so.
106
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:25,908
Now I won't have
to worry about Pop
107
00:04:25,932 --> 00:04:27,110
when I go out at night.
108
00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:28,678
You're a good son, Lamont.
109
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,135
Yeah, I think so.
110
00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:35,719
Hey, I see you're
still at it, Pop?
111
00:04:35,743 --> 00:04:38,063
Yeah, son, watch this shot.
112
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:41,991
Hey, you're getting good.
113
00:04:42,015 --> 00:04:43,293
Yeah, I've been
practicing all day.
114
00:04:43,317 --> 00:04:44,794
Son, I don't know
how to thank you
115
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:45,995
for this pool table.
116
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:47,096
You're a good son, Lamont.
117
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,432
Yeah, I think so.
118
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:50,800
I'm glad you're
enjoying the table,
119
00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,168
but I hope you're not
going to let it keep you
120
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:53,370
from doing your
work around here.
121
00:04:53,394 --> 00:04:57,106
No, no, no. I've been
coordinating all day.
122
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,309
And I also hope that you
fixed something to eat, man,
123
00:04:59,333 --> 00:05:00,677
because I'm starving.
124
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:01,911
I've been cooking all day.
125
00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:03,112
Food's in the oven,
126
00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:04,281
and while you're in there,
127
00:05:04,305 --> 00:05:06,271
get you a beer out
of the refrigerator.
128
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:10,620
How'd I miss that shot?
129
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:11,976
That's my main shot.
130
00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,259
Say, what's this?
131
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:20,029
Well, it's called
executive privilege,
132
00:05:20,053 --> 00:05:21,698
but if you saw me move the ball,
133
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:24,634
it's called cheating.
134
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:26,202
Pop, I'm not talking about pool.
135
00:05:26,226 --> 00:05:27,470
I'm talking about
136
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:29,773
this creature from
the Black Lagoon.
137
00:05:29,797 --> 00:05:31,974
Hey, that's one of
them frozen dinners.
138
00:05:31,998 --> 00:05:33,343
It's burnt.
139
00:05:33,367 --> 00:05:34,811
Now, I know why it's burnt.
140
00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:36,446
It's burnt because you're
too busy out here playing pool
141
00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:37,447
to look after it.
142
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:38,448
Go ahead, admit it.
143
00:05:38,472 --> 00:05:40,016
I ain't admitting nothing.
144
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,173
Who do you think
you are? Sam Ervin?
145
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:46,623
Would you get that, son?
146
00:05:46,647 --> 00:05:48,447
I'm going to see if I
can make this shot.
147
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:56,633
Hey, let's get it on.
148
00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:58,100
Boy, lookee here.
149
00:05:58,124 --> 00:06:03,072
Hey, how you
doing, uh... Lamont.
150
00:06:03,096 --> 00:06:04,974
Lamar? Oh, yeah.
151
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:07,043
Okay, move over, buzzard,
152
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,646
and let a man who
knows how to play play.
153
00:06:09,670 --> 00:06:10,980
Well, move me over, chump.
154
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,281
All right, get ready, Freddie,
155
00:06:12,305 --> 00:06:13,650
because I got some trick shots
156
00:06:13,674 --> 00:06:15,518
you ain't seen before.
157
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:18,054
They used to call
me "Shady Grady."
158
00:06:18,078 --> 00:06:19,589
When Grady gets through
with you, it's my turn.
159
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,624
I could roll you big fat guys
160
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:23,760
up into one big round ball
161
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:25,228
and use you for a cue stick
162
00:06:25,252 --> 00:06:26,685
and beat both of you.
163
00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,867
Hey, Pop? Can I talk
to you for a minute?
164
00:06:30,891 --> 00:06:31,868
What's the matter?
165
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,703
Wait a minute,
fellas. Wait for me.
166
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:35,104
Say, look, how
long are these guys
167
00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:36,172
going to be here, anyway?
168
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:37,774
I guess they'll be
here till they leave.
169
00:06:37,798 --> 00:06:41,143
Hey, all right, now,
you all watch the cue...
170
00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:42,979
Hey, Fred, are you
playing with us or not?
171
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:44,614
Come on over
here, will you please?
172
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,319
Hello?
173
00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:51,654
Yeah, just a minute. Leroy?
174
00:06:51,678 --> 00:06:53,122
What?
175
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:54,491
You're wanted on the telephone.
176
00:06:54,515 --> 00:06:55,625
Well, can't you take a message?
177
00:06:55,649 --> 00:06:57,816
Would you get over here
and answer this phone?
178
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,431
Now, listen, Leroy,
179
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:02,766
I've got to make a very
important phone call.
180
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:03,966
Now, would you cut this short?
181
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,101
Just make it quick.
182
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,936
Well, let me
see who it is first.
183
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,538
Hello?
184
00:07:08,562 --> 00:07:12,008
Hey, man, where you been?
185
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:13,009
Would you excuse me, Lamont?
186
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,077
This is private.
187
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,647
Now, what was you saying, man?
188
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:20,884
Hey, watch this shot.
189
00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,852
Hey, Skillet? Skillet...
190
00:07:22,876 --> 00:07:26,689
will you take your
belly off the table?
191
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:28,357
Just take your
belly off the table.
192
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:31,428
You want me to put a
cue ball in your navel?
193
00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:32,629
Hey, Pop, who's in the bathroom?
194
00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:33,963
Shhhh!
195
00:07:33,987 --> 00:07:35,097
Who's in the bathroom?
196
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,365
Bubba's in the bathroom.
197
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:37,734
I hope he's not
going to be long,
198
00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:38,902
because I've got to shave.
199
00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:40,737
Well, I think you
have to wait a while,
200
00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,721
because he took the
magazine with him.
201
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,313
Hey, would you get that, son?
202
00:07:50,337 --> 00:07:52,303
Get that for me, it's my shot.
203
00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:56,152
Oh, hi, Donna. Come on in.
204
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,186
Good evening, Lamont.
205
00:07:57,210 --> 00:07:58,988
Say, did you have a
date with Pop tonight?
206
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:00,356
Why, yes. Didn't he mention it?
207
00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:01,624
No, and I hope you're
going someplace
208
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:04,226
where you can take a pool table.
209
00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:06,362
He's really
enjoying it, isn't he?
210
00:08:06,386 --> 00:08:08,565
Yeah, he'd rather
shoot pool than sleep.
211
00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:09,566
Well, at least you know
212
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:12,068
your money was well spent.
213
00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:15,204
Fred... You big du... Donna!
214
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,439
I didn't know that was you.
215
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:17,640
I didn't see you come in.
216
00:08:17,664 --> 00:08:18,875
Move out the way, Fred.
217
00:08:18,899 --> 00:08:20,443
No, no. I get that
shot over again.
218
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:21,444
She made me miss.
219
00:08:21,468 --> 00:08:22,445
That ain't my fault.
220
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:23,980
You missed. You missed.
221
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,882
Fred, I came over
here to see you.
222
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:28,017
We had a date.
Don't you remember?
223
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,285
Y... Yeah.
224
00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:31,087
Come here, darling.
Come here a minute.
225
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:33,255
Excuse me a minute, fellows.
226
00:08:33,279 --> 00:08:34,491
Leroy!
227
00:08:34,515 --> 00:08:37,059
Shhh! I'm talking to Detroit.
228
00:08:37,083 --> 00:08:39,328
Fred... Uh-huh?
229
00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:40,329
You'd better get dressed
230
00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:41,464
if we're going out.
231
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:42,899
Where are we going tonight?
232
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:45,368
Going? We're here.
233
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:47,937
Here? The kitchen?
234
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:49,739
Fred Sanford, I did
not get all dressed up
235
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,374
to come here to
sit in the kitchen.
236
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:54,243
Well, I just can't up and
run away from my friends.
237
00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:55,378
That'd be ill-mannered.
238
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:56,412
Well, what about me?
239
00:08:56,436 --> 00:08:58,180
I ain't going to run
away from you either.
240
00:08:58,204 --> 00:08:59,582
How are you going
to manage both?
241
00:08:59,606 --> 00:09:00,583
Well, that'll be easy.
242
00:09:00,607 --> 00:09:02,084
See, I'll go in there with them,
243
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,285
then I'll come back in here
244
00:09:03,309 --> 00:09:04,754
and visit with you.
245
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:05,889
Excuse me a minute, Donna.
246
00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:07,089
I'll be back in a minute.
247
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:09,125
Sit down, honey. Sit down.
248
00:09:09,149 --> 00:09:10,393
Uh, hey, son.
249
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:13,362
Hey, listen, Lamont,
uh, uh, talk to Donna.
250
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,431
Talk to Donna for
me. Talk to her, son.
251
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,800
Do something.
252
00:09:17,824 --> 00:09:19,602
I'm beginning to
see what you mean.
253
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:20,670
Yeah, he's turning this house
254
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,271
into a pool room.
255
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,573
I can't even shave
in my own bathroom,
256
00:09:23,597 --> 00:09:24,974
and I got a date coming over.
257
00:09:24,998 --> 00:09:27,276
You going to shave
in the kitchen?
258
00:09:27,300 --> 00:09:28,545
I've got to.
259
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,013
Bubba's upstairs
in the bathroom,
260
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:33,471
and he's got the Christmas
issue of Ebony magazine.
261
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,820
Oh, he's really become obsessed
262
00:09:37,844 --> 00:09:39,422
with that pool table.
263
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:40,557
We had a date tonight,
264
00:09:40,581 --> 00:09:42,425
but if it's going to be
like this, I don't know.
265
00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:43,793
Yeah, well, I know.
266
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:45,494
It's either us or
that pool table.
267
00:09:45,518 --> 00:09:47,697
What do you mean?
268
00:09:47,721 --> 00:09:50,266
That pool table has got to go.
269
00:09:50,290 --> 00:09:52,268
See, Donna?
270
00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:53,836
I didn't forget our date.
271
00:09:53,860 --> 00:09:55,738
Hey, Fred, it's your shot!
272
00:09:55,762 --> 00:09:57,740
I got to go, honey.
273
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,776
Uh, wait a minute.
274
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:02,579
See, I'll do that to you,
but I won't do that to them.
275
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:03,646
You know what I mean?
276
00:10:03,670 --> 00:10:05,048
I'll be right back.
277
00:10:05,072 --> 00:10:07,584
Just keep puckered,
and I'll be right there.
278
00:10:07,608 --> 00:10:10,374
Talk to her,
Lamont. Talk to her.
279
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,032
Say, don't you hear
the phone ringing?
280
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:24,033
Yeah, son.
281
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,034
Why don't you get that?
282
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,971
I'm going to see if I
can make this shot.
283
00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:29,371
Hello?
284
00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:30,506
Oh, hi, Donna, just a second.
285
00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:31,574
Hey, Pop, it's Donna.
286
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:34,611
Tell her I'm indisposed.
287
00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:37,013
He says he's too
busy playing pool
288
00:10:37,037 --> 00:10:38,447
to be bothered with you.
289
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:41,372
Just tell her I'll call her
back in a minute, dummy.
290
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:47,223
He said he'll call you
back later, Donna.
291
00:10:47,247 --> 00:10:48,725
Look, don't worry about a thing.
292
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:50,359
I know how to
put a stop to this.
293
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:51,383
Okay.
294
00:10:55,656 --> 00:10:58,601
Hello?
295
00:10:58,625 --> 00:11:00,136
No, I'm not accepting no charges
296
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,773
from no Cha Cha
Hogan in Detroit.
297
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:06,776
Leroy don't live here.
298
00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:09,467
Hey, Lamont,
watch this shot here.
299
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:16,686
Yeah, you're becoming a
regular Central Avenue Fats.
300
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,821
You're a good son, Lamont.
301
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:19,889
You're a good son.
302
00:11:19,913 --> 00:11:21,190
I think so.
303
00:11:22,816 --> 00:11:25,383
Would you get the
door, good son?
304
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:30,633
Oh, hey. Come in.
305
00:11:30,657 --> 00:11:33,102
All right, often said
and seldom done,
306
00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:35,872
who wants to play the devil one?
307
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:39,341
Anybody who'd want to win.
308
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:41,010
Okay. All right. Let's take up
309
00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,713
where we left off last night.
310
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:45,381
You didn't get beat bad
enough last night, huh, Grady?
311
00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:47,150
You were just lucky last night.
312
00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:48,551
What do you mean, lucky?
313
00:11:48,575 --> 00:11:50,920
Grady, I could beat
you blindfolded,
314
00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:53,589
one arm tied behind me,
the other one in a cast,
315
00:11:53,613 --> 00:11:55,091
wearing army
shoes, in the hospital
316
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:58,850
having an emergency
appendectomy.
317
00:12:01,287 --> 00:12:03,066
Hey, look what I
got. Come and get it.
318
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,100
Hey, all that for us?
319
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:05,467
You bet.
320
00:12:05,491 --> 00:12:07,369
Hey, yeah.
321
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,005
Hey, lookee here.
322
00:12:09,029 --> 00:12:10,006
Keep on talking, Cha Cha.
323
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:11,074
I can hear you.
324
00:12:11,098 --> 00:12:12,875
Yeah, come on, man.
325
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,811
What are you doing,
giving away my stuff?
326
00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,012
Well, it's just a few snacks
327
00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:17,013
for your friends.
328
00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:18,247
A few snacks?
329
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,248
Yeah, a few snacks.
330
00:12:19,272 --> 00:12:21,784
Hey, fellas, when that runs out,
331
00:12:21,808 --> 00:12:23,986
there's more in the kitchen.
332
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:26,388
Hey, and there's some
booze in the cabinet.
333
00:12:26,412 --> 00:12:29,425
Come here. Come here.
334
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,282
Get in here.
335
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,363
Listen, what's the
matter with you,
336
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:35,564
giving away all my food?
337
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,533
Pop, if you're going to
have friends over here,
338
00:12:37,557 --> 00:12:38,534
you've got to give them
339
00:12:38,558 --> 00:12:39,602
a little something to eat.
340
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:41,270
Not them friends.
341
00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:45,007
Them bellies are home grown,
342
00:12:45,031 --> 00:12:46,909
and they should
grow them at home.
343
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,145
Listen, you never saw
them eat, have you?
344
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,680
Every time their elbow
bends, their mouths fly open.
345
00:12:51,704 --> 00:12:53,649
Son, they are dangerous.
346
00:12:53,673 --> 00:12:55,752
Pop, Jesus fed the multitude
347
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:57,286
with four fish and
a loaf of bread.
348
00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:59,122
Well, he couldn't
feed that bunch
349
00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:03,926
with four whales and
a truckload of bread.
350
00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,694
That was a nice snack, Lamont.
351
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:07,096
You got any toothpicks?
352
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,197
No, we ain't got no toothpicks.
353
00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,298
We ain't got nothing.
354
00:13:09,322 --> 00:13:11,242
Well, that's all
right. Never mind.
355
00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:16,006
Lamont, he's going
to eat my broom.
356
00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,879
Hey, how was the food, fellas?
357
00:13:22,903 --> 00:13:24,313
It's good.
358
00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:25,614
Hey, Pop, look,
359
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,483
I've got to run down
to the supermarket
360
00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,484
and get some more refreshments.
361
00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:29,485
Let me have $5.
362
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:30,653
$5 for what?
363
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:31,654
For some more refreshments
364
00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,022
for your friends.
365
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:34,523
You all are coming back
tomorrow, aren't you?
366
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:37,160
I ain't leaving.
367
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,594
Well, you'd better
make it $10, Pop.
368
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:40,429
Come on, let me have the money.
369
00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:42,564
You know, somehow,
this ain't working out
370
00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:44,300
the way I thought it would.
371
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,534
Here.
372
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:46,803
I think it's working out fine.
373
00:13:46,827 --> 00:13:48,771
Hey, Fred, you're out of scotch.
374
00:13:48,795 --> 00:13:51,240
You out of your mind. I
had a whole bottle of scotch.
375
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,241
Huh?
376
00:13:52,265 --> 00:13:53,509
I had a whole bottle of scotch
377
00:13:53,533 --> 00:13:54,510
in that cabinet.
378
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:55,845
That's what I'm saying.
379
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:58,047
You had a whole bottle,
but now you're out.
380
00:13:58,071 --> 00:13:59,648
Hey, Grady?
381
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:00,983
Mm-hmm?
382
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,384
Come here, Grady.
Excuse yourself.
383
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:03,908
Excuse me...
384
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:08,157
Oh my, Grady.
385
00:14:08,181 --> 00:14:09,158
Grady, I can talk to you.
386
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:10,159
See, you're my friend,
387
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:11,294
and I can talk to you,
388
00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:12,661
because you ain't
one of them eaters,
389
00:14:12,685 --> 00:14:13,696
Grady, don't suck your teeth
390
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:16,999
while I'm talking to you.
391
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:20,536
Grady, I got to get rid
of that damn pool table.
392
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:22,038
But why?
393
00:14:22,062 --> 00:14:25,808
Why? I can't keep filling
them big bellies up every night.
394
00:14:25,832 --> 00:14:28,311
Look at them guys over there.
395
00:14:28,335 --> 00:14:30,616
Look at them.
Just peep out there.
396
00:14:38,278 --> 00:14:41,357
Grady, I'm afraid.
397
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,992
I'm afraid when they
finish eating all that,
398
00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,660
they're going to start
putting salt and pepper
399
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:47,363
on my furniture.
400
00:14:47,387 --> 00:14:50,666
Grady, don't suck
your teeth, please.
401
00:14:50,690 --> 00:14:52,801
Have a straw, Grady.
402
00:14:52,825 --> 00:14:54,403
Here, have a bunch
of them, Grady,
403
00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:55,671
but don't suck your teeth
404
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:58,095
while I'm talking to you, hear?
405
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:15,024
Did you bring him?
406
00:15:15,048 --> 00:15:16,192
Yeah, he's right outside.
407
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,861
Shhhh, dummy. You'll
wake the other dummy up.
408
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:20,462
Oh, I'm sorry.
409
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:21,463
Listen, we got to be quiet.
410
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:22,464
Now, come on over here
411
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:23,933
and let's get the table outside.
412
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:26,437
Okay, open the door
so we can get it out.
413
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:28,371
Shhh.
414
00:15:28,395 --> 00:15:29,372
All right.
415
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:30,373
Ready?
416
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:31,573
Yeah, let's go.
417
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:32,663
Wait, fool! Wait, fool!
418
00:15:34,901 --> 00:15:36,745
I thought you said
you was in a hurry.
419
00:15:36,769 --> 00:15:38,147
I am in a hurry,
420
00:15:38,171 --> 00:15:39,882
but I'm not trying to
break the sound barrier.
421
00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:41,946
Now, let's try it
again, and take it easy.
422
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:47,189
Wait, wait!
423
00:15:47,213 --> 00:15:48,857
What's wrong now?
424
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,492
It ain't going out the
door at this angle.
425
00:15:50,516 --> 00:15:51,860
Move yours counter-clockwise.
426
00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:53,217
Counter-who?
427
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:58,467
Around to your right, Grady.
428
00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:01,737
Wait!
429
00:16:01,761 --> 00:16:03,372
It ain't going in this way.
430
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:04,974
Turn it over on its side,
431
00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:06,208
and don't drop it.
432
00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:07,343
All right.
433
00:16:07,367 --> 00:16:09,500
Easy.
434
00:16:10,337 --> 00:16:12,048
Okay.
435
00:16:12,072 --> 00:16:13,082
Now, come on.
436
00:16:13,106 --> 00:16:14,716
All right.
437
00:16:14,740 --> 00:16:17,253
Well, now, it ain't going
that way, either, Fred.
438
00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:18,654
The legs are too long.
439
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:20,056
Listen, did you all
have this much trouble
440
00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:21,090
getting it in here?
441
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:22,658
No, it was easy.
442
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,415
We did it like this.
443
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:54,323
Fred, meet, uh, uh... Otis, man.
444
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,425
Yeah, yeah. Meet Otis.
Otis, meet Fred Sanford.
445
00:16:56,449 --> 00:16:57,426
Hiya, Fred.
446
00:16:57,450 --> 00:16:59,828
Shhh.
447
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:00,997
What's wrong?
448
00:17:01,021 --> 00:17:02,064
Ain't nothing wrong.
449
00:17:02,088 --> 00:17:03,265
Listen, here's the pool table
450
00:17:03,289 --> 00:17:04,600
Grady was telling you about.
451
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:06,602
Grady said it was a good table.
452
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:07,736
It's used, isn't it?
453
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,405
Yeah, it's used.
454
00:17:09,429 --> 00:17:12,108
A table like this in a store
would cost you 200 bucks.
455
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:13,376
What do you want for it?
456
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:16,312
200 bucks.
457
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:19,015
I thought you said that's
what it would cost in a store.
458
00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:23,919
Well, what do you think I'm
running here, a taco stand?
459
00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:26,155
Maybe we better forget it.
460
00:17:26,179 --> 00:17:28,190
Wait a minute.
Give me a hundred.
461
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:29,691
I'll give you 75.
462
00:17:29,715 --> 00:17:31,360
90.75.
463
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,396
80.75.
464
00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:34,897
Wait a minute, 75?
465
00:17:34,921 --> 00:17:36,532
Why didn't you say
so in the first place?
466
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:37,955
Give it here.
467
00:17:51,438 --> 00:17:52,548
Hey, thanks a lot, Grady,
468
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:54,350
for helping me get
rid of the pool table.
469
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:55,751
You know, I'll
miss that pool table.
470
00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:57,553
I had a lot of good times on it.
471
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,121
Yeah. Say, Fred,
472
00:17:59,145 --> 00:18:00,489
how are you going to give
the money back to, uh...
473
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,624
To your son
474
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:04,893
without him knowing
that you sold the table?
475
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,363
I ain't going to
give it back to him.
476
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:09,698
But he paid for the table.
477
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:11,867
Who did he buy it for?
478
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:13,602
He bought it for you.
479
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:14,670
And who's got the money?
480
00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:15,971
You got it.
481
00:18:15,995 --> 00:18:18,441
Case closed.
482
00:18:18,465 --> 00:18:21,944
No, Fred, that don't
sound right to me...
483
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:22,945
You can go now, Grady.
484
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:23,946
I can handle it from here.
485
00:18:23,970 --> 00:18:24,947
All right.
486
00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:25,948
Be careful.
487
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:26,949
All right, take it easy, Fred.
488
00:18:26,973 --> 00:18:27,950
Good night, now.
489
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:28,951
Shhh!
490
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,953
Oh, yeah. Okay, hold up, Otis!
491
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:31,954
Shh!
492
00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:33,322
I'll help you load the table!
493
00:18:33,346 --> 00:18:34,812
Shh!
494
00:19:03,443 --> 00:19:06,655
Help! Help! Burglars!
Please, somebody help me!
495
00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:09,158
Pop, what happened?
496
00:19:09,182 --> 00:19:12,361
Oh, son, help me
up. Help me up, son.
497
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:13,662
What is it, Pop?
498
00:19:13,686 --> 00:19:14,896
What was all that
noise down here?
499
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:16,965
Some burglars broke in
and stole my pool table.
500
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,200
Burglars?
501
00:19:18,224 --> 00:19:19,201
Yeah, burglars.
502
00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:20,436
Must've been five of them.
503
00:19:20,460 --> 00:19:21,437
Listen, I'll call the police.
504
00:19:21,461 --> 00:19:22,971
No, don't call them.
It won't do no good.
505
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:25,374
They got too big a head start.
506
00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:27,576
Pop, what were
you doing down here
507
00:19:27,600 --> 00:19:29,311
this time of night
alone, anyway?
508
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,614
Oh, son, I couldn't sleep,
509
00:19:31,638 --> 00:19:33,749
so I came down here
to shoot a little pool,
510
00:19:33,773 --> 00:19:35,351
and then these guys
bust through the door.
511
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,519
And what did you do?
512
00:19:36,543 --> 00:19:38,554
I just fought them, son.
You should've saw me.
513
00:19:38,578 --> 00:19:41,957
You mean to tell me you
fought five guys by yourself?
514
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:43,959
Yeah, must've been
the tiger in my blood.
515
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:45,361
I fought them, son.
516
00:19:45,385 --> 00:19:47,829
See, they had me
backed up against the wall.
517
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:49,331
I was backed up
against the wall,
518
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,233
and I started using
my feet and my hands.
519
00:19:51,257 --> 00:19:52,968
You know, like that
dude on Kung Fu.
520
00:19:52,992 --> 00:19:53,969
Yeah, yeah.
521
00:19:53,993 --> 00:19:56,772
I Kung-ed one and
Fu-ed the other.
522
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:58,607
I mean, I was fighting,
523
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:00,543
and then, I moved around,
524
00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:03,212
and I tripped on
something, and I fell,
525
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:04,780
and that's the only
thing saved them.
526
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:06,382
Pop, why didn't you
call me sooner, man?
527
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:08,350
If the two of us had
been down here fighting,
528
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:09,618
maybe we could've
saved the pool table.
529
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:13,222
The action was too
heavy for a youngster.
530
00:20:13,246 --> 00:20:14,823
Pop, you could've been killed.
531
00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:17,826
Slaughtered, but I
didn't think about that.
532
00:20:17,850 --> 00:20:19,995
I thought about...
533
00:20:20,019 --> 00:20:21,630
I just felt like an eagle
protecting his nest.
534
00:20:21,654 --> 00:20:23,932
Well, the important thing
535
00:20:23,956 --> 00:20:25,167
is that you're all right, Pop.
536
00:20:25,191 --> 00:20:26,235
I'm fine, son.
537
00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:27,236
Okay, let's go back to bed.
538
00:20:27,260 --> 00:20:30,372
Yeah, let's...
Hey, wait a minute.
539
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:31,807
What's that?
540
00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:32,808
That's money.
541
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,743
It's not mine. It's not yours.
542
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:35,744
You know what I think, Pop?
543
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:36,978
I think during the fight,
544
00:20:37,002 --> 00:20:38,414
one of the burglars dropped this
545
00:20:38,438 --> 00:20:40,338
out of his pocket.
546
00:20:43,443 --> 00:20:45,787
$75.
547
00:20:45,811 --> 00:20:47,389
You know, that's
just what I paid
548
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:48,591
for the pool table.
549
00:20:48,615 --> 00:20:50,192
You know what that
means, don't you, Pop?
550
00:20:50,216 --> 00:20:53,984
Yeah, somebody going
to be crying about $75.
551
00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:58,634
No, that means
that we broke even.
552
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,369
We really didn't lose anything.
553
00:21:00,393 --> 00:21:01,503
We didn't?
554
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:02,504
No.
555
00:21:02,528 --> 00:21:04,072
You know, somehow,
556
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:07,331
I... I feel a definite
sense of loss.
557
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:11,335
Well, good night, Pop.
558
00:21:43,869 --> 00:21:45,748
Say, what's that?
Is that you I smell?
559
00:21:45,772 --> 00:21:47,683
Yeah, you like it?
560
00:21:47,707 --> 00:21:48,784
Know what it is?
561
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,675
Lysol?
562
00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:57,293
No, it's a new cologne
called "Savage Beast."
563
00:21:57,317 --> 00:21:59,227
Well, who are you going
out with tonight anyway,
564
00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:01,530
a water buffalo?
565
00:22:01,554 --> 00:22:02,964
No, I got a date with Donna.
566
00:22:02,988 --> 00:22:04,966
Come over here
and sit down, son,
567
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,302
because she's going
to be here any minute,
568
00:22:06,326 --> 00:22:08,136
and there's something I
want to talk to you about
569
00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,505
before she gets here.
570
00:22:09,529 --> 00:22:11,973
Now, look, I... I... I
571
00:22:11,997 --> 00:22:13,442
I'm out of... I'm out
of a birthday present,
572
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:15,143
and I think I ought
to get something.
573
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:16,445
So what you want,
another pool table?
574
00:22:16,469 --> 00:22:17,446
No, not that.
575
00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:18,447
Then what?
576
00:22:18,471 --> 00:22:22,217
Well, cash is always nice.
577
00:22:22,241 --> 00:22:23,485
Cash?
578
00:22:23,509 --> 00:22:25,587
Yeah, you know, like that
cash them burglars, um,
579
00:22:25,611 --> 00:22:27,623
dropped on the floor.
580
00:22:27,647 --> 00:22:28,757
Hey, Pop, that was house money.
581
00:22:28,781 --> 00:22:29,858
I found that money in the house.
582
00:22:29,882 --> 00:22:31,026
It's house money.
583
00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:33,796
Yeah, but I ain't got
no birthday present.
584
00:22:33,820 --> 00:22:36,699
Shouldn't I get something?
585
00:22:36,723 --> 00:22:39,401
Well, since it was your
birthday and your present,
586
00:22:39,425 --> 00:22:41,385
I guess you're
entitled to the money.
587
00:22:43,529 --> 00:22:45,006
Thank you. Thank you, Lamont.
588
00:22:46,366 --> 00:22:47,343
That's Donna now.
589
00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:48,677
Ain't you got nowhere to go?
590
00:22:48,701 --> 00:22:50,446
Why don't you try to
make yourself scarce?
591
00:22:50,470 --> 00:22:53,148
You ain't got nowhere to... No.
592
00:22:53,172 --> 00:22:54,672
Go somewhere.
593
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:57,185
Donna!
594
00:22:57,209 --> 00:22:58,186
Hello, Fred.
595
00:22:58,210 --> 00:22:59,187
Come on in, honey.
596
00:22:59,211 --> 00:23:00,188
Hello, Lamont.
597
00:23:00,212 --> 00:23:02,324
Hey, Donna.
598
00:23:02,348 --> 00:23:04,626
You're looking good, darling.
599
00:23:04,650 --> 00:23:05,761
Hey, listen,
600
00:23:05,785 --> 00:23:06,862
how should we start the evening?
601
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:07,863
You want to begin
602
00:23:07,887 --> 00:23:09,365
by watching a little
Walter Cronkite?
603
00:23:09,389 --> 00:23:10,966
Television?
604
00:23:10,990 --> 00:23:12,601
But I thought we were
going out to dinner
605
00:23:12,625 --> 00:23:13,902
and then to a movie.
606
00:23:13,926 --> 00:23:16,705
Well, you know, those
restaurants is so expensive,
607
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:19,140
and it costs so much
to go to the movie...
608
00:23:19,164 --> 00:23:20,308
Well, what difference
does it make
609
00:23:20,332 --> 00:23:21,410
with all that money you got?
610
00:23:21,434 --> 00:23:24,813
What money?
611
00:23:24,837 --> 00:23:26,014
Oh, you didn't know?
612
00:23:26,038 --> 00:23:27,416
No.
613
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,853
Pop just recently fell into $75.
614
00:23:30,877 --> 00:23:34,490
Fred.
615
00:23:34,514 --> 00:23:37,192
You just fell into $75?
616
00:23:37,216 --> 00:23:38,226
Well, come on.
617
00:23:38,250 --> 00:23:40,262
Let's go out and celebrate!
618
00:23:40,286 --> 00:23:41,719
Come on.
619
00:23:44,624 --> 00:23:46,323
I hope you fall into
something, dummy.
620
00:24:17,156 --> 00:24:18,934
Sanford and Son
is recorded on tape
621
00:24:18,958 --> 00:24:21,592
before a live studio audience.
41987
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