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1
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,343
Eddie, my friend,
what can I do for you?
2
00:01:02,646 --> 00:01:03,646
I want to talk to Diane.
3
00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:06,058
But she don't want
to talk to you.
4
00:01:06,358 --> 00:01:06,813
Yeah.
5
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:08,190
Please don't make trouble.
6
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,638
Diane, before you start
squawking,
7
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:12,273
let me just tell you
you're the most wonderful girl
8
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:13,153
I've ever known.
9
00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:17,236
And nobody's been as sweet
to me as you.
10
00:01:17,536 --> 00:01:18,992
You make me feel...
11
00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,779
Well, you make me feel
beautiful.
12
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,288
But you are beautiful.
13
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,290
Why do always hide
behind that booth?
14
00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:26,917
Let me see all of you.
15
00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:28,292
Please, I'm begging you,
16
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,671
go away and don't ever
come back.
17
00:01:30,966 --> 00:01:31,546
Oh, kiss me!
18
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:34,709
Please, for the love
of god, go away.
19
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:36,627
Not till I get my kiss!
20
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:41,723
Please don't look at me
that way!
21
00:01:42,019 --> 00:01:42,428
No.
22
00:01:42,728 --> 00:01:44,468
- Eddie!
- No!
23
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:55,771
Ar
24
00:01:59,161 --> 00:02:01,618
You're missing the whole movie.
25
00:02:01,913 --> 00:02:05,246
Believe me,
I ain't missing a thing.
26
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,248
No one understands bettina.
27
00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,660
Her screen persona
is a brilliant comment
28
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:14,377
on the entire sociopolitical
structure of stardom.
29
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:15,820
Jeeper, do you get all of that
30
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:18,586
from the pizza waitress
with three heads?
31
00:02:18,889 --> 00:02:22,177
Well, I guess we are the only
ones watching the movie.
32
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:26,560
These guys have only one thing
on their minds.
33
00:02:26,855 --> 00:02:28,937
Want a wiener?
34
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:37,403
Oh, hey there, Lars.
35
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:40,486
Oh, I love
the smells of America...
36
00:02:40,786 --> 00:02:42,276
Hot dogs, popcorn...
37
00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:43,785
- Car exhaust?
- Mm.
38
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,867
Lars, being how
you're from Sweden,
39
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,656
the sex capital
of the entire world...
40
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:49,699
- Mm-hmm...
- Could you tell me
41
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:50,617
what's wrong with me?
42
00:02:50,921 --> 00:02:52,707
What? There's nothing
wrong with you.
43
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:55,292
Suddenly every girl I know
is boy crazy.
44
00:02:55,592 --> 00:02:57,708
Golly, if some dork
stuck his tongue down my throat,
45
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,876
I'd barf! Ugh! I'd belt him.
46
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,180
I'd kick him in the nuts.
47
00:03:01,306 --> 00:03:02,921
You're just a typical
American girl.
48
00:03:03,225 --> 00:03:06,968
One day soon, you'll wake up
and explode into a woman.
49
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:12,059
Well, my date will be anxious
for these buns to be hot.
50
00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:13,724
Bye-bye.
51
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:14,641
Where you going, lover?
52
00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:16,825
I'm going to the head
to get us a you-know-what.
53
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:19,146
I don't want my girl
spending her Christmas
54
00:03:19,449 --> 00:03:20,939
in a home for unwed mamas.
55
00:03:29,084 --> 00:03:30,790
- Oh, hey, there, Rhonda.
- Hi, Florence.
56
00:03:31,086 --> 00:03:32,417
You got yourself a heavy date?
57
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:33,713
I'm here with berdine.
58
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:36,087
You'd think it was a crime
against the nation
59
00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:37,694
to go to a drive-in
with more than
60
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:38,958
kissy-kissy stuff on your mind.
61
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,863
Well, you do have a quaint way
of looking at things.
62
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:44,129
Hey, is it true you're going to
Europe at the end of the summer?
63
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:47,015
No, we just have
a Swedish exchange student
64
00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:47,674
staying with us.
65
00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:49,593
Oh, I heard you
were going to Denmark.
66
00:03:49,896 --> 00:03:51,011
Where'd you get that idea?
67
00:03:51,314 --> 00:03:52,434
I heard you were going there
68
00:03:52,691 --> 00:03:54,932
to have some sort
of an operation.
69
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:55,690
An operation?
70
00:03:55,986 --> 00:03:57,066
Yeah, I heard you're having
71
00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:59,569
your dick cut off
and turning into a girl.
72
00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:01,230
That's not funny.
73
00:04:01,533 --> 00:04:02,693
Kisses.
74
00:04:08,457 --> 00:04:11,915
Hey, pea brain,
who's that guy in the next car?
75
00:04:12,210 --> 00:04:14,747
- You know him?
- Yeah, I know him.
76
00:04:15,046 --> 00:04:16,081
Calls himself starcat.
77
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,621
Dropped out of Northwestern,
78
00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:20,711
hangs out in Malibu
with a bunch of surf bums.
79
00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:24,128
Strictly a loser
from loserville.
80
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:36,231
Sergeant, this
young woman is the victim
81
00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:38,232
of nuclear testing.
82
00:04:38,528 --> 00:04:42,487
Her cells appear to be
in a constant state of mutation
83
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:47,322
aggravated
by intense sexual frustration.
84
00:04:47,954 --> 00:04:50,286
- Can I help you?
- Well, let's see.
85
00:04:50,582 --> 00:04:51,582
I'll have a frank,
86
00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:55,368
and with it, golly,
I'm not sure.
87
00:04:55,670 --> 00:04:56,670
What would be good?
88
00:04:56,755 --> 00:04:59,838
And what can I do for you, doll?
89
00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:08,718
Who do you have to fuck
to get a hot dog in this dump?
90
00:05:09,017 --> 00:05:09,551
Say what?
91
00:05:09,851 --> 00:05:10,851
You heard me, buster,
92
00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,093
and I'm not paying extra
for dialogue,
93
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:15,261
so cut the chin music.
94
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:23,239
Hey.
95
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:42,335
Aah!
96
00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:56,979
Ee
97
00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:58,274
J psycho »
98
00:05:58,441 --> 00:06:02,400
===
99
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:03,856
j psycho »
100
00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:08,319
===
101
00:06:08,618 --> 00:06:10,358
j psycho »
102
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:12,493
jhahahahalt
103
00:07:09,054 --> 00:07:10,464
J psycho »
104
00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:14,507
===
105
00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:16,049
j psycho »
106
00:07:16,353 --> 00:07:20,221
===
107
00:07:20,523 --> 00:07:22,809
j psycho »
108
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,771
jhahahahalt
109
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:42,538
J psycho »
110
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:47,251
it was horrible.
111
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:48,130
So much blood,
112
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:50,041
like something
out of dostoevsky.
113
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,864
What took you so long
at the snack bar?
114
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,008
Well, I was about to order,
when the next thing I knew
115
00:07:54,265 --> 00:07:59,476
the guy at the counter
went awol for some sweater job.
116
00:08:00,939 --> 00:08:04,272
Captain Monica stark,
L.A. sheriff's department.
117
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:05,567
Detective molasky.
118
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,477
Now, don't tell me...
Florence, berdine.
119
00:08:08,780 --> 00:08:11,192
- Wow, you're good.
- It's my job.
120
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,903
I understand you both were
at the drive-in last night.
121
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:16,614
Oh, yeah, berdine's the gal
who found the body.
122
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:19,700
I want to know
exactly what you heard
123
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,000
and exactly what you saw.
124
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:21,747
Well, it's hard
125
00:08:22,043 --> 00:08:25,831
because I was concentrating
on the subtext of the film.
126
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:26,711
What about you, Florence?
127
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,794
Well, I guess I was
coming back from the snack bar.
128
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,424
Did you notice anything...
129
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:33,005
Unusual, anything at all”?
130
00:08:33,304 --> 00:08:34,424
Well, to be honest with you,
131
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,258
the whole night's
something of a blur.
132
00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:39,595
I bet some rat fink
spiked my orangeade.
133
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:45,312
Hello, girls.
134
00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:46,608
Hi, mom.
135
00:08:46,776 --> 00:08:47,310
Florence, hop in.
136
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,588
I thought you were gonna help
me pickle those beets.
137
00:08:49,612 --> 00:08:50,692
Oh, I was just on my way.
138
00:08:50,989 --> 00:08:52,109
I got to skedaddle. Toodles.
139
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:54,864
We haven't quite finished.
140
00:08:55,326 --> 00:08:56,566
May I ask what's going on here?
141
00:08:56,828 --> 00:08:59,035
There was a murder
at the drive-in last night,
142
00:08:59,330 --> 00:09:03,369
white female, 17,
sleeping it off in the morgue.
143
00:09:03,668 --> 00:09:05,909
A murder?
And you didn't tell me?
144
00:09:06,212 --> 00:09:07,327
I didn't want to upset you.
145
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,872
What were you doing
around 9:00 P.M., Mrs. forrest?
146
00:09:11,176 --> 00:09:15,340
What any woman should be doing
at that hour... needlepoint.
147
00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:16,047
Yes. Uh, Florence,
148
00:09:16,347 --> 00:09:18,463
if you wouldn't mind answering
a few more questions,
149
00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:20,052
- I...
- I don't think so.
150
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:21,056
We have beets to pickle,
151
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:23,343
and Florence has
to practice her oboe.
152
00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:25,477
She has a recital coming up.
153
00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:26,308
Mrs. forrest, I...
154
00:09:26,608 --> 00:09:27,688
Florence, dear, the car.
155
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,724
Wait... now just
one minudo, sister,
156
00:09:30,028 --> 00:09:32,360
before we toss you
both in the holding tank.
157
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:35,738
Show me a subpoena, flatfoot.
158
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,285
Madam detective,
I will not have my daughter
159
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:45,039
interrogated
by the secret police.
160
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:46,335
As far as I know,
161
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:50,287
we are not yet a part
of the Soviet union.
162
00:09:54,761 --> 00:09:57,173
Good afternoon,
Mrs. forrest, Florence.
163
00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:00,509
Lars, where are you off
to with that enormous satchel,
164
00:10:00,809 --> 00:10:02,140
robbing a bank?
165
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,721
- Laundry time.
- Leave that to me, Lars.
166
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,261
It's women's work.
167
00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:08,395
I do not wish
to impose myself on you.
168
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,522
Nonsense.
It would be a pleasure.
169
00:10:10,819 --> 00:10:12,901
I haven't washed
a man's personal things
170
00:10:13,196 --> 00:10:14,652
since Mr. forrest passed on.
171
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,904
Perhaps it's time
you considered remarriage.
172
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,906
Oh, Lars, you're outrageous.
173
00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:22,035
I lost two husbands
in the big war and one in Korea.
174
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:26,414
No, my future
lies in my widow's pensions.
175
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:27,949
I mean pension.
176
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:28,742
Now, off with you.
177
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:30,785
You'll find everything
folded on your bed.
178
00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,626
Mrs. forrest,
as Florence would say,
179
00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:36,132
you are fantabulous.
180
00:10:36,427 --> 00:10:41,012
Well, they know
how to grow 'em in Sweden.
181
00:10:44,727 --> 00:10:47,844
Mother, can't you just
throw that in the machine?
182
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,309
Oh, darling,
you know I'm a perfectionist.
183
00:10:50,608 --> 00:10:52,894
Oh, just look
at these urine stains.
184
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,856
They may never
come out completely.
185
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,776
Gee, marvel Ann,
I can't believe you called.
186
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,941
I mean, I honestly thought
you'd written me off
187
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:04,861
as the geekiest geek
of all time.
188
00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:06,996
Keep moving.
189
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:09,283
We've never been
to Malibu before.
190
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:11,076
What made you want to come here?
191
00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:13,244
- I have my reasons.
- Wait a minute, guys.
192
00:11:13,548 --> 00:11:14,588
I feel my nose blistering.
193
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,873
- I got to put some...
- If you put any of that
194
00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,713
disgusting white gook
on your nose,
195
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:23,387
I'm sorry.
196
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,514
I happen to be allergic
to the sun.
197
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,096
It's true.
Her face turns fire-engine red
198
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:28,885
and her lips blow up.
199
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,726
And I get this terrible
chafing between my legs.
200
00:11:32,025 --> 00:11:35,483
Spare me the details, berdine.
201
00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:39,817
Oh, darn, I left my goggles
and flippers in the car.
202
00:11:40,116 --> 00:11:43,950
I think you're forgetting
the reason we're here.
203
00:11:44,245 --> 00:11:47,612
This... is a man hunt.
204
00:11:47,916 --> 00:11:50,908
Let's set our traps.
205
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,850
Can't we just have
a good time by ourselves?
206
00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:12,888
I mean, why do we have
to bother with them?
207
00:12:13,191 --> 00:12:14,191
Don't be a dip.
208
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:17,226
You've got the sex drive
of a milk dud.
209
00:12:17,528 --> 00:12:18,984
You're 16, girl.
210
00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:19,814
Get with the action.
211
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:25,450
Just look at that water
overflowing with boys.
212
00:12:26,788 --> 00:12:30,747
Those guys are flying
over those waves.
213
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:34,876
It's the romping,
stomping, living end!
214
00:12:42,553 --> 00:12:43,753
I'm heading down to the water.
215
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:47,005
You guys stay right here
and wait for my signal.
216
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:48,923
They look like beatniks.
217
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,309
Should I unpack my bongos?
218
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:54,812
I intend to unpack mine.
219
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,231
Whoo, flip my fins, daddy-o.
220
00:13:00,530 --> 00:13:02,612
You see me getting tubed
on that outsider?
221
00:13:02,907 --> 00:13:06,024
I got a tube for you.
Why don't you ride this?
222
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:08,534
Get him, man.
223
00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:09,830
All right, yo yo.
224
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:34,052
Yo yo!
225
00:13:34,355 --> 00:13:35,390
= eae sess ep
226
00:13:35,690 --> 00:13:36,099
aah!
227
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:39,232
Oh, no, what am I gonna do?
228
00:13:39,986 --> 00:13:45,106
Oh, oh, this is so embarrassing,
I could die.
229
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:48,650
Could you help me tie my straps?
230
00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:52,286
You know, this could be
a subconscious reflex
231
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:54,948
of an overly stimulated libido.
232
00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:58,789
Say, that sounds dirty.
233
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,203
Oh, I'm sorry.
234
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:05,591
I'm a refugee from the psych
department at Northwestern.
235
00:14:05,887 --> 00:14:07,127
Starcat's the name.
236
00:14:07,430 --> 00:14:10,797
Hey, didn't I see you
at the drive-in movie theater?
237
00:14:11,100 --> 00:14:12,100
Uh-huh.
238
00:14:12,226 --> 00:14:13,226
I'm marvel Ann.
239
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,725
I'm surprised you remember me.
240
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:16,421
There was a lot
going on that night.
241
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:19,564
I mean, that girl getting
her throat slashed and all.
242
00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:22,475
Well, she
wasn't the only one murdered.
243
00:14:22,779 --> 00:14:24,861
You killed me with that look.
244
00:14:27,408 --> 00:14:28,898
Are those your friends?
245
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:29,736
Oh, hardly.
246
00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,636
The one with the coke bottles
on her eyes
247
00:14:31,662 --> 00:14:33,618
has something
that resembles a car.
248
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:35,035
My folks took my wheels away
249
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,948
'cause I ran over an old lady
in a crosswalk.
250
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:39,412
Parents are such squares!
251
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:40,201
That was so nifty.
252
00:14:40,505 --> 00:14:42,621
You guys were flying
over those waves like a comet.
253
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,256
I've never seen
anything like it.
254
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:46,551
Excuse me?
255
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:47,174
Oh, I'm Florence.
256
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:48,926
Gosh, how'd you learn
to do that?
257
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:50,382
Florence, would you mind?
258
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:52,512
Maybe we should get some lunch.
259
00:14:52,809 --> 00:14:53,924
Oh, you guys were boss.
260
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:55,427
You make it look so darn easy.
261
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:58,140
Easy? It takes years
to fly on top of the soup.
262
00:14:58,439 --> 00:14:59,559
You got to stay in the curl.
263
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:02,311
There's turning, stalling,
trimming, riding the nose.
264
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:06,023
Alley-oops, duck dives,
flying through a wipeout.
265
00:15:06,322 --> 00:15:08,153
Knowing your way
around point breaks,
266
00:15:08,449 --> 00:15:10,030
reef breaks, shore breaks.
267
00:15:10,326 --> 00:15:12,487
Yeah, doing the turtle,
little nose dips.
268
00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:15,153
- Switch stance and spinners.
- Wow.
269
00:15:15,456 --> 00:15:17,788
I just love to watch.
270
00:15:18,084 --> 00:15:18,664
Well, I want to learn.
271
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:22,077
You guys mind if I tag along
with you next time you go out?
272
00:15:23,339 --> 00:15:25,500
Forget it. Girls can't surf.
273
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:28,633
The male of the species
are natural-born hunters,
274
00:15:28,928 --> 00:15:30,208
and our prey
is the perfect wave.
275
00:15:30,471 --> 00:15:32,553
I mean, heck, a surfboard's
even a phallic symbol.
276
00:15:32,849 --> 00:15:35,010
Well, I don't know
about all that phallic stuff,
277
00:15:35,309 --> 00:15:37,675
but I'm a terrific swimmer
and a quick study.
278
00:15:37,979 --> 00:15:40,846
Aw, the great kanaka
would cool to sub-zero
279
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:42,764
if we let a chick tag along.
280
00:15:43,067 --> 00:15:44,387
Who's the great kanaka?
281
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:48,028
Only the greatest surfer
of all time... the pope.
282
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:50,654
Well, maybe he'll teach me
how to surf.
283
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:51,950
Oh, yeah.
284
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,033
Kanaka's a world champion.
285
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:57,241
He's not gonna splash around
with a half-pint like you.
286
00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:58,575
Well, what about you?
287
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,395
Are you too big a fish
to teach a girl?
288
00:16:04,505 --> 00:16:05,505
Ain't he simply gorgeous?
289
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:08,964
Hold me close,
you great big hunk of he-man.
290
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:09,794
Knock it off.
291
00:16:10,094 --> 00:16:11,414
Kid, listen to it
in high-fidelity
292
00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:14,967
stereophonic sound...
Surfing's a man's domain.
293
00:16:15,266 --> 00:16:16,722
No minnows in the shark tank.
294
00:16:17,018 --> 00:16:21,182
I guess the fella's
just not interested.
295
00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:24,389
Oh, no, I'm afraid of sharks.
296
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:28,105
All points bulletin
for a big strong hero!
297
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:30,155
Yeah! Cowabungal!
298
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:33,697
There is no reason in the world
I can't be one of them.
299
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:37,030
I've got to ingratiate myself,
but how?
300
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,867
Those guys are interested
in only two things,
301
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:43,249
and you don't have
either of them.
302
00:16:50,468 --> 00:16:51,924
Ugh!
303
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:54,131
Man, there went lunch.
304
00:16:54,430 --> 00:16:55,510
I was down to my last peso.
305
00:16:55,723 --> 00:16:58,635
Oh, well, like, hey, you
can have the rest of my hot dog,
306
00:16:58,935 --> 00:17:00,655
and here, berdine,
you don't want this coke.
307
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:01,387
Hey!
308
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:02,894
Sit down, take a load off.
309
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:07,181
Thanks for the chow.
310
00:17:07,818 --> 00:17:09,524
So why do you
stay all covered up?
311
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:11,180
Are you afraid of
a little sunburn?
312
00:17:11,447 --> 00:17:11,981
It's good for you.
313
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:15,193
I suffer from the heartbreak
of psoriasis.
314
00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:18,030
My back is covered
with the stuff.
315
00:17:18,329 --> 00:17:20,365
I'm sorry. But, uh...
316
00:17:20,665 --> 00:17:24,624
That football Jersey
looks really neato.
317
00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:28,036
So tell me
about the great kanaka.
318
00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,125
Is he really nice,
a lot of laughs?
319
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,631
Kanaka goes to a different bop.
320
00:17:32,927 --> 00:17:34,883
He's a tip-top kaleidoscope
of cool.
321
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:35,838
Does he live around here?
322
00:17:36,138 --> 00:17:38,720
I mean, I can't even fathom
where someone that fantabulous
323
00:17:39,016 --> 00:17:41,428
would call home except maybe,
like, the white house.
324
00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:44,184
Ha ha! No, kanaka has a place
325
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,311
at the far end of the beach.
326
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:51,397
Hey, you wouldn't be thinking
about crashing his pad?
327
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:35,027
What are you doing
snooping around my shack?
328
00:18:35,323 --> 00:18:37,405
Are you the great kanaka?
329
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,236
I am the man who rides the waves
330
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,617
from Jay-pan to the Yucatan.
331
00:18:41,912 --> 00:18:43,152
I'm Florence. Oh, wow!
332
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,822
This is like meeting
Walt Disney or Helen Keller.
333
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:47,535
I mean, you're a living legend.
334
00:18:47,835 --> 00:18:50,042
Hey, pour some water
on the carburetor.
335
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,578
Hey, is this thing real?
336
00:18:51,881 --> 00:18:53,337
You break it, you buy it.
337
00:18:53,633 --> 00:18:56,090
So what brings you
to kanaka's shack?
338
00:18:56,385 --> 00:18:58,967
Please, great kanaka,
I want to learn how to surf,
339
00:18:59,263 --> 00:19:01,595
and none of the other fellas'll
teach me.
340
00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:02,425
I'm desperate.
341
00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:04,306
Oh, yeah,
we'd make quite a pair.
342
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:08,220
Sorry, kid, go back
to mama and papa square.
343
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:12,148
Yeah, I bet if I looked
like this, you'd teach me.
344
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:13,763
Pussycat,
if you looked like that,
345
00:19:13,903 --> 00:19:17,066
we'd be doing more
than chewing the fat.
346
00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:19,230
Numero uno,
the water's what I crave.
347
00:19:19,533 --> 00:19:23,151
More than anything,
I live for mother wave.
348
00:19:23,454 --> 00:19:26,617
More than anything,
I live for father fuck.
349
00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:27,575
Florence?
350
00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:29,331
I'm afraid
you got the wrong girl.
351
00:19:29,627 --> 00:19:31,913
Florence is not my name.
352
00:19:32,213 --> 00:19:33,213
Who are you?
353
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:34,255
My name is Anne bowman.
354
00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:35,830
I'm revealing my true nature.
355
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:37,133
Listen, jailbait,
356
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:39,337
if I didn't live
by my personal code of honor,
357
00:19:39,637 --> 00:19:41,798
I'd take advantage
of this situation,
358
00:19:42,098 --> 00:19:43,213
erotically, as it were.
359
00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:46,053
I thought you were the man
with the big cigar.
360
00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,808
What are you packing,
a tiparillo?
361
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:51,141
More than you can handle.
Now, before I get mad,
362
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:52,850
kindly vacate my pad.
363
00:19:53,150 --> 00:19:56,017
Don't you turn your butt to me!
364
00:19:56,320 --> 00:19:57,605
Florence.
365
00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,817
My name isn't Florence.
366
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,153
My name is Anne bowman.
367
00:20:03,452 --> 00:20:05,192
Anne bowman, Anne bowman,
368
00:20:05,496 --> 00:20:06,110
Anne bowman!
369
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:08,905
Yeah, that's right, Anne bowman.
370
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:10,539
I frighten you, don't I?
371
00:20:10,835 --> 00:20:12,416
- I ain't scared.
- You're lying.
372
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:15,294
Look at your hands.
They're shaking like jell-o.
373
00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:16,169
No, they ain't.
374
00:20:16,465 --> 00:20:17,750
You're scared. Say it!
375
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,050
You're scared!
376
00:20:19,343 --> 00:20:21,800
- Yes.
- Yes, what?
377
00:20:22,096 --> 00:20:23,506
Yes, ma'am?
378
00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:24,806
Ah, that's better.
379
00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:28,724
You're just a little slave boy,
aren't you, Sonny?
380
00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:32,887
Ma'am, if you would,
I ain't feeling so good.
381
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:35,772
Listen, sly,
can the nursery rhyme.
382
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,649
I know what you fantasize about.
383
00:20:37,945 --> 00:20:39,065
I know what you dream about,
384
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,633
and I'm gonna
give it to you in spades.
385
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,823
To start, I think
I'll walk you down to the beach
386
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:45,153
on a leash, capisce?
387
00:20:45,453 --> 00:20:47,053
But what'll the rest
of the fellas think?
388
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:49,328
To hell with the rest
of the fellas!
389
00:20:49,623 --> 00:20:52,410
I am the most important,
me, Anne bowman.
390
00:20:52,710 --> 00:20:54,951
I will not be cast aside.
I will not be...
391
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,085
Told a girl can't surf.
I mean, golly,
392
00:20:57,381 --> 00:20:59,141
a girl can do all sorts
of things these days,
393
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:02,667
like be... an executive
secretary.
394
00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:04,506
Anne?
395
00:21:04,805 --> 00:21:06,090
Anne? My name is Florence.
396
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:08,176
It's squaresville,
but what the heck?
397
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:11,058
Do you remember
what we were just talking about?
398
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:12,873
Surfing lessons.
Can we start tomorrow?
399
00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:15,061
I can see I'm wearing
down your resistance.
400
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:16,847
- You can say that again.
- Yippee!
401
00:21:17,151 --> 00:21:17,606
I got to get moving.
402
00:21:17,902 --> 00:21:19,582
I got to round up
a surfboard, not so easy,
403
00:21:19,737 --> 00:21:24,356
and then tomorrow we'll hit
the old h20o. Toodles.
404
00:21:27,995 --> 00:21:32,580
Ee
405
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:50,931
What?
406
00:21:51,227 --> 00:21:52,888
Look out for that outsider!
407
00:21:53,187 --> 00:21:55,269
- What?
- Duck under!
408
00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:56,770
Whoa!
409
00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:59,148
Aah!
410
00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:07,231
Aah!
411
00:22:08,452 --> 00:22:10,784
I am sort of
picking it up a little.
412
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:12,536
Oh, cool, baby, cool.
413
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:13,832
You're a demon.
414
00:22:13,999 --> 00:22:15,580
- Ow!
- Anne?
415
00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:17,116
Beg your pardon?
416
00:22:17,419 --> 00:22:19,410
Nothing.
417
00:22:21,465 --> 00:22:23,265
Kanaka, I don't mean
to be scraping your fins,
418
00:22:23,342 --> 00:22:26,709
but you can't let a chick
infiltrate our stag clan, man.
419
00:22:27,012 --> 00:22:28,532
That's how it starts.
Next thing you know,
420
00:22:28,556 --> 00:22:31,218
you'll be eating frozen waffles
and wearing a cardigan.
421
00:22:31,517 --> 00:22:34,008
Yeah, you're the emperor
of the seven seas.
422
00:22:34,311 --> 00:22:35,413
This makes us all look cheap.
423
00:22:35,437 --> 00:22:37,237
Hey, kanaka doesn't have
to answer to anybody.
424
00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:40,640
If he wants to indulge
this pipsqueak's penis envy,
425
00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:43,059
that's his business.
426
00:22:43,362 --> 00:22:44,362
Yeah, so there.
427
00:22:44,405 --> 00:22:46,817
Kanaka, I thought
you had some hot babe
428
00:22:47,116 --> 00:22:47,730
that you were seeing.
429
00:22:48,033 --> 00:22:49,273
You can't be that desperate.
430
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:52,068
Yeah, but the new chick's
as complex as a zodiac.
431
00:22:52,371 --> 00:22:54,532
You can never tell
when she's coming back.
432
00:22:54,832 --> 00:22:58,245
You're not even a chick.
You're a chicklet.
433
00:22:58,544 --> 00:22:59,544
Ha, ha, ha.
434
00:22:59,670 --> 00:23:01,376
Yeah, that should be
your new name.
435
00:23:01,672 --> 00:23:02,331
Don't you dig it?
436
00:23:02,631 --> 00:23:05,213
It'll pass.
The name's got class.
437
00:23:05,509 --> 00:23:07,465
I hereby dub you chicklet.
438
00:23:07,761 --> 00:23:10,002
I'll buy it, I'll buy it.
I'll be chicklet.
439
00:23:10,306 --> 00:23:13,594
But does this mean
I get to be part of the gang?
440
00:23:16,353 --> 00:23:18,890
There are some prize tomatoes
in that tin can.
441
00:23:19,189 --> 00:23:22,477
I didn't think anybody lived
in the elkins house.
442
00:23:22,776 --> 00:23:24,437
- For good reason.
- How come?
443
00:23:24,737 --> 00:23:25,817
'Cause it's haunted.
444
00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:27,853
Really?
Have you ever been inside?
445
00:23:28,157 --> 00:23:28,646
In my time.
446
00:23:28,949 --> 00:23:30,439
There are ghosts, all right.
447
00:23:30,743 --> 00:23:32,699
I could feel it in my nuts.
448
00:23:32,995 --> 00:23:33,575
You and your nuts.
449
00:23:33,871 --> 00:23:36,283
I've had a man's hairy balls
since I was eight.
450
00:23:36,582 --> 00:23:38,368
It's the source of my power.
451
00:23:38,667 --> 00:23:40,749
They tell me the weather,
time of day,
452
00:23:41,045 --> 00:23:43,832
if there's a pile-up
on route 66.
453
00:23:44,131 --> 00:23:46,588
Did something really awful
happen in that house?
454
00:23:46,884 --> 00:23:48,465
A bunch of people died there.
455
00:23:48,761 --> 00:23:52,128
Some people were born to die.
456
00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:54,805
Here you go.
457
00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:58,638
Aw, berdine, hon, your little
friend's awfully late.
458
00:23:58,938 --> 00:24:03,022
Hey, I got a roast beef au jus
with your initials on it, hmm?
459
00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:06,184
Mm, no, thanks.
I'll wait a little longer.
460
00:24:06,487 --> 00:24:08,023
- All right.
- Pat?
461
00:24:08,322 --> 00:24:09,322
Sorry you're going bald,
462
00:24:09,490 --> 00:24:12,072
but finding clumps of hair
in the chicken a la king,
463
00:24:12,368 --> 00:24:13,448
frankly, grossed me out.
464
00:24:13,744 --> 00:24:16,201
It's reflected in your gratuity.
465
00:24:16,497 --> 00:24:18,328
Well, I never.
466
00:24:18,624 --> 00:24:20,706
And my hair is not...
467
00:24:23,921 --> 00:24:25,036
Hi, berdine.
468
00:24:25,339 --> 00:24:27,830
Aw, you enjoy your own company,
don't you?
469
00:24:28,133 --> 00:24:29,839
I'm waiting for Florence.
470
00:24:30,135 --> 00:24:32,842
Oh, you two
used to be friends, right.
471
00:24:33,138 --> 00:24:34,719
What do you mean, used to be?
472
00:24:35,015 --> 00:24:36,801
I heard she dumped you
now that she's got
473
00:24:37,101 --> 00:24:38,762
all these new friends
down at the beach.
474
00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:41,052
Well, you heard wrong.
475
00:24:41,355 --> 00:24:42,675
I heard she
calls herself chicklet
476
00:24:42,773 --> 00:24:46,482
and that she's hanging out
with that sleazy beach crowd.
477
00:24:46,777 --> 00:24:47,857
Florence is my best friend,
478
00:24:48,153 --> 00:24:50,735
and she's gonna
be here any minute.
479
00:24:51,031 --> 00:24:52,111
What are you doing? What...
480
00:24:52,366 --> 00:24:54,607
Yo yo, give her
the Chinese tickle torture.
481
00:24:54,910 --> 00:24:56,650
Ole! Ole, toro, toro!
482
00:24:56,954 --> 00:24:58,865
No, anything but that!
483
00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:02,656
Aah!
484
00:25:04,003 --> 00:25:06,460
Hey, let's invite them
to the luau.
485
00:25:06,755 --> 00:25:09,497
T.j., toss them a line.
They'll do fine.
486
00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:10,129
What luau?
487
00:25:10,426 --> 00:25:12,758
Just the whippin',
flippin', rippin',
488
00:25:13,053 --> 00:25:14,322
biggest event
of the whole summer.
489
00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:16,803
A wild night.
Know how to spell orgy?
490
00:25:17,099 --> 00:25:19,260
Better than you.
Well, I want to go!
491
00:25:19,560 --> 00:25:21,926
Kid, you're definitely
not the luau type.
492
00:25:22,229 --> 00:25:24,140
But those two angels are.
493
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:25,440
Junior, you coming?
494
00:25:25,691 --> 00:25:26,771
No, I'm gonna stick around.
495
00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:30,275
There's still some great
shore breaks.
496
00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:42,030
No man rejects Anne bowman.
497
00:25:42,332 --> 00:25:44,914
Anne bowman invented luaus.
498
00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:48,043
Anne bowman invented orgies!
499
00:25:48,338 --> 00:25:52,081
Anne bowman invented revenge.
500
00:26:09,818 --> 00:26:14,983
Guys, any of you know a
surefire cure for constipation?
501
00:26:15,282 --> 00:26:16,818
I got it real bad.
502
00:26:17,117 --> 00:26:18,698
It's wrecking
my center of gravity.
503
00:26:18,994 --> 00:26:20,034
It could be psychological.
504
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:23,578
A secret or a repressed longing
can lead to anal retention.
505
00:26:23,874 --> 00:26:26,490
Oh, that's silly.
My mom swears by enemas
506
00:26:26,794 --> 00:26:29,786
filled with epsom salt
and beef broth.
507
00:26:30,089 --> 00:26:31,329
Butt out.
508
00:26:31,632 --> 00:26:33,588
Provoloney, we got to dig deep,
509
00:26:33,884 --> 00:26:37,968
deep into that inner dark place
where your fear lives.
510
00:26:38,263 --> 00:26:40,845
I'll take an ex-lax.
511
00:26:41,350 --> 00:26:44,308
On this fine morning,
how is your flipness?
512
00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:48,016
His flipness is ready
to lead his troop into the soup.
513
00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:50,271
- Where's junior?
- Yeah.
514
00:26:50,567 --> 00:26:53,058
Haven't seen him
since yesterday.
515
00:26:53,362 --> 00:26:55,603
Wasn't he with you, chicklet?
516
00:26:55,906 --> 00:26:57,817
Well, yeah,
I guess, for a while.
517
00:26:58,117 --> 00:27:03,578
Kanaka, did you, um,
shave off all your chest hair?
518
00:27:03,872 --> 00:27:05,112
Yeah, well, olympic swimmers
519
00:27:05,415 --> 00:27:09,124
shave their body so's they can
move faster through the water.
520
00:27:09,419 --> 00:27:12,536
Yeah, does your new lady
friend like it that way?
521
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:13,545
Oh, yeah, baby.
522
00:27:13,841 --> 00:27:15,172
My shave got a rave.
523
00:27:15,467 --> 00:27:18,049
- Wedgie attack!
- Ah!
524
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,837
You guys. Ha ha.
525
00:27:23,183 --> 00:27:25,139
Cowabungal!
526
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:28,932
Come on, yo yo!
527
00:27:29,231 --> 00:27:31,597
Yo yo, yo!
528
00:27:43,954 --> 00:27:46,161
Ah...
529
00:27:48,333 --> 00:27:51,825
All right, guys, come on.
That's, uh, that's enough.
530
00:27:52,129 --> 00:27:54,586
Ah... uhh...
531
00:28:02,723 --> 00:28:06,181
Aah! What the hell is that?
532
00:28:06,727 --> 00:28:10,561
Yo, it's got psoriasis on it.
533
00:28:10,856 --> 00:28:12,312
Junior.
534
00:28:17,404 --> 00:28:19,645
How long's he been planted
there?
535
00:28:19,948 --> 00:28:20,403
Oh, maybe six hours.
536
00:28:20,699 --> 00:28:24,487
We've located the pancreas,
the intestines, and a big toe.
537
00:28:24,786 --> 00:28:26,026
And this group of deadbeats?
538
00:28:26,330 --> 00:28:29,993
Alibis as tight as
Sandra Dee's butt.
539
00:28:30,292 --> 00:28:32,908
Except that one.
540
00:28:34,755 --> 00:28:38,168
Well, here we are
at yet another murder.
541
00:28:38,467 --> 00:28:41,834
I'd rather we met
for miniature golf.
542
00:28:42,137 --> 00:28:43,137
He was my friend.
543
00:28:43,263 --> 00:28:45,345
I understand that at the time
of the murder
544
00:28:45,641 --> 00:28:46,921
you were walking
along the beach.
545
00:28:47,017 --> 00:28:51,135
Run into anyone
on this relaxing stroll?
546
00:28:51,438 --> 00:28:53,474
I saw her.
547
00:28:53,774 --> 00:28:54,263
Chicklet,
548
00:28:54,608 --> 00:28:57,975
how come you didn't tell her
I bought you a burger and fries?
549
00:28:58,278 --> 00:29:01,941
The great kanaka,
leader of the pack.
550
00:29:02,241 --> 00:29:04,152
Long time, no see.
551
00:29:04,451 --> 00:29:05,451
Still following the sun?
552
00:29:05,661 --> 00:29:08,152
Still walking the straight
and narrow-minded?
553
00:29:08,455 --> 00:29:10,491
Still intend to knock down
this fire trap
554
00:29:10,791 --> 00:29:11,450
you call a bachelor pad.
555
00:29:11,750 --> 00:29:15,368
Come by with those handcuffs,
and we'll burn it down...
556
00:29:15,671 --> 00:29:16,706
Together.
557
00:29:17,005 --> 00:29:17,494
Oh!
558
00:29:17,798 --> 00:29:20,164
You forget that I'm
both a cop and a lady.
559
00:29:20,467 --> 00:29:21,126
Why you picking on us?
560
00:29:21,426 --> 00:29:22,962
We didn't do nothing wrong.
561
00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:24,297
Because I don't like you.
562
00:29:24,596 --> 00:29:28,509
Don't like the way you talk.
Don't like the way you walk.
563
00:29:28,809 --> 00:29:30,219
Don't like your haircut.
564
00:29:30,519 --> 00:29:32,430
You kids think
you own this beach,
565
00:29:32,729 --> 00:29:34,970
think it's a teenage world.
566
00:29:35,274 --> 00:29:36,480
Well, you're dead wrong.
567
00:29:36,775 --> 00:29:39,016
Are you gonna arrest us?
568
00:29:39,319 --> 00:29:40,729
I might.
569
00:29:41,029 --> 00:29:41,484
I've got methods
570
00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:44,192
that can get the truth out
of the most hardened criminal.
571
00:29:44,491 --> 00:29:45,150
I have a special room.
572
00:29:45,450 --> 00:29:48,442
Picture it,
if you will... cold steel,
573
00:29:48,745 --> 00:29:51,282
blinding lights,
formica coffee table.
574
00:29:51,581 --> 00:29:52,581
Oh, I've heard enough.
575
00:29:52,708 --> 00:29:56,576
Well, you'll be hearing more
from me, especially you,
576
00:29:56,878 --> 00:29:58,994
Mr. kanaka.
577
00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:01,254
Cookie.
578
00:30:04,428 --> 00:30:07,044
Kanaka, why's she got it
in for you so bad?
579
00:30:07,347 --> 00:30:10,464
I boffed her once
in west Covina.
580
00:30:11,601 --> 00:30:14,968
Carving up junior
like a Thanksgiving Turkey?
581
00:30:15,272 --> 00:30:18,480
How does a monster
like that sleep at night?
582
00:30:18,775 --> 00:30:22,734
If you're insane, you might
not even remember you did it.
583
00:30:23,030 --> 00:30:26,193
You might not remember anything.
584
00:30:35,625 --> 00:30:39,664
Lars? It's 2:00 in the morning,
and you're doing laundry?
585
00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:42,204
Did I make too much noise?
586
00:30:42,507 --> 00:30:44,213
Oh, only to someone
with insomnia.
587
00:30:44,509 --> 00:30:47,501
And why should you
have trouble sleeping?
588
00:30:47,804 --> 00:30:48,259
Inner demons.
589
00:30:48,555 --> 00:30:50,575
Oh, you ate too much
of your mother's beef tornadoes.
590
00:30:50,599 --> 00:30:54,342
If 1 didn't stop you, you
would have taken all my meat.
591
00:30:54,644 --> 00:30:55,804
Lars, haven't you heard?
592
00:30:56,104 --> 00:30:58,595
One of my friends
was found murdered today,
593
00:30:58,899 --> 00:30:59,899
hacked up to bits,
594
00:31:00,192 --> 00:31:02,604
and it looks like I was
the last one to see him alive.
595
00:31:02,903 --> 00:31:06,361
Do you have any idea who would
do such a terrible thing?
596
00:31:06,656 --> 00:31:10,740
No, but then I wonder
if maybe I did see something
597
00:31:11,036 --> 00:31:15,405
but I can't remember,
like a mental block.
598
00:31:15,707 --> 00:31:16,321
On...
599
00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:18,331
It's very sad about your friend,
600
00:31:18,627 --> 00:31:21,369
but you must not
torture yourself.
601
00:31:21,671 --> 00:31:22,205
You are alive.
602
00:31:22,506 --> 00:31:26,374
You must go out and surf
the waves just like your friend
603
00:31:26,676 --> 00:31:27,085
would have done.
604
00:31:27,386 --> 00:31:30,844
As my old grandmother,
Ingrid, used to say, "Lars..."
605
00:31:37,479 --> 00:31:39,310
That's what she said, huh?
606
00:31:39,606 --> 00:31:40,220
- Yeah.
- Well, I guess
607
00:31:40,524 --> 00:31:44,108
that does make me
feel a little better.
608
00:32:00,710 --> 00:32:05,830
And the papa bear said, "who's
been sleeping in my sandbox?"
609
00:32:06,133 --> 00:32:07,623
Oh, am I trespassing?
610
00:32:07,926 --> 00:32:08,460
I had no idea.
611
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,045
Say, you look real familiar.
612
00:32:10,345 --> 00:32:11,380
Oh, no, I don't.
613
00:32:11,680 --> 00:32:13,716
Give us a clue.
What's your name?
614
00:32:14,015 --> 00:32:16,597
I'm afraid I can't answer that.
615
00:32:16,893 --> 00:32:18,053
Are you incognito?
616
00:32:18,353 --> 00:32:20,264
No, I'm German-Irish.
617
00:32:20,564 --> 00:32:22,054
Wait a minute.
618
00:32:22,357 --> 00:32:24,598
Chicklet, move a little
to the left.
619
00:32:24,901 --> 00:32:25,606
A little more.
620
00:32:25,902 --> 00:32:27,312
And yo yo,
lean your head in closer.
621
00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:29,477
Keep going. Yeah, that's it!
622
00:32:29,781 --> 00:32:31,942
The pizza waitress
with three heads.
623
00:32:32,242 --> 00:32:34,358
- Bettina Barnes?
- Shh!
624
00:32:34,661 --> 00:32:37,619
No one must know
my true identity.
625
00:32:37,914 --> 00:32:39,245
I ran away from the studio.
626
00:32:39,541 --> 00:32:42,749
You can't imagine
what it's like being exploited
627
00:32:43,044 --> 00:32:46,628
by those lousy flesh peddlers
and power brokers,
628
00:32:46,923 --> 00:32:49,414
everyone wanting a little piece.
629
00:32:49,718 --> 00:32:51,549
I'm not a pepperoni.
630
00:32:51,845 --> 00:32:54,552
I saw that one flick,
sex kittens go to outer space?
631
00:32:54,848 --> 00:33:00,013
It was a good film, then I had
to do the four sequels.
632
00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:00,767
Quelle trash.
633
00:33:01,062 --> 00:33:04,805
They have no respect for
the rights of the individual.
634
00:33:05,108 --> 00:33:06,723
We'll respect you.
635
00:33:07,027 --> 00:33:09,018
Ah, would you really?
636
00:33:09,321 --> 00:33:10,982
You see, I'm hiding out here
637
00:33:11,281 --> 00:33:13,272
until the studio
agrees to my terms,
638
00:33:13,575 --> 00:33:16,487
both script director
and hairdo approval.
639
00:33:16,786 --> 00:33:17,946
Florence, there you are!
640
00:33:18,246 --> 00:33:22,706
Yesterday I waited for you
at auggie's for over two hours.
641
00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:24,103
Please, my name is chicklet.
642
00:33:24,127 --> 00:33:26,994
Yes, you're definitely
not Florence anymore.
643
00:33:27,297 --> 00:33:28,787
Bettina Barnes!
644
00:33:29,090 --> 00:33:30,626
Shh! She's in hiding.
645
00:33:30,926 --> 00:33:33,087
Oh, bettina Barnes in person.
646
00:33:33,386 --> 00:33:35,186
I loved you in the
tarantula queen of hoboken.
647
00:33:35,472 --> 00:33:40,182
I swear, I saw sex kittens and
the killer meatballs 16 times.
648
00:33:40,477 --> 00:33:41,808
Oh, did you really?
649
00:33:42,103 --> 00:33:43,138
Oh, yes, miss Barnes.
650
00:33:43,438 --> 00:33:44,838
You are more than
a mere sex kitten.
651
00:33:45,065 --> 00:33:49,855
You are the feminine embodiment
of the nietzschean Superman,
652
00:33:50,153 --> 00:33:51,339
ever striding, striking a blow
653
00:33:51,363 --> 00:33:54,321
for the truth in the eternal
battle of the sexes.
654
00:33:54,616 --> 00:33:59,406
That is what I have been
telling my agent for months.
655
00:33:59,704 --> 00:34:01,194
What is your name?
656
00:34:01,498 --> 00:34:01,827
Berdine.
657
00:34:02,249 --> 00:34:05,582
Always was berdine,
always will be.
658
00:34:05,877 --> 00:34:07,083
Oh. Well, you know,
659
00:34:07,379 --> 00:34:11,167
I desperately need
a secretary/companion/masseuse.
660
00:34:11,466 --> 00:34:14,754
How'd you like to have a job
for the summer?
661
00:34:15,053 --> 00:34:15,587
I'm really honored,
662
00:34:15,887 --> 00:34:20,176
but Florence and I have a
zillion things planned, and...
663
00:34:20,475 --> 00:34:23,592
I'd love to be your gal Friday.
664
00:34:23,895 --> 00:34:24,509
When do I start?
665
00:34:24,813 --> 00:34:26,223
Pronto. Come inside.
666
00:34:26,523 --> 00:34:30,311
I am gonna let you
into my private world.
667
00:34:30,610 --> 00:34:33,067
We are gonna have a blast.
668
00:35:08,607 --> 00:35:10,097
Chicklet!
669
00:35:43,266 --> 00:35:44,847
Are you okay?
670
00:35:45,143 --> 00:35:46,883
How come you helped me?
671
00:35:47,187 --> 00:35:49,223
I thought you would have
let me drown.
672
00:35:49,522 --> 00:35:52,309
What would you say
a crazy thing like that for?
673
00:35:52,609 --> 00:35:55,601
It's common knowledge
that you hate me.
674
00:35:55,904 --> 00:35:57,644
I don't hate you.
675
00:35:57,947 --> 00:35:59,653
I don't hate you at all.
676
00:35:59,949 --> 00:36:04,693
When you didn't come up,
I suddenly thought...
677
00:36:04,996 --> 00:36:05,701
I thought,
678
00:36:05,997 --> 00:36:08,113
"well, doesn't she know
she should dive
679
00:36:08,416 --> 00:36:09,952
before the wipeout?”
680
00:36:10,251 --> 00:36:11,457
Of course I know that.
681
00:36:11,753 --> 00:36:12,753
It was an accident.
682
00:36:13,046 --> 00:36:17,255
But then, you never have
accidents, do you, Mr. perfect?
683
00:36:17,550 --> 00:36:19,757
Don't you ever call me that.
684
00:36:20,053 --> 00:36:21,793
What, Mr. perfect?
685
00:36:22,097 --> 00:36:23,866
You don't know what it's
like having everybody think
686
00:36:23,890 --> 00:36:28,099
you're the golden boy, perfectly
smart, perfectly athletic.
687
00:36:28,395 --> 00:36:29,635
You can't imagine the pressure.
688
00:36:29,813 --> 00:36:32,600
And I thought all those people
starving in India had it bad.
689
00:36:32,899 --> 00:36:34,605
It's a curse,
but you're so wrapped up
690
00:36:34,901 --> 00:36:36,253
trying to prove
you're one of the guys
691
00:36:36,277 --> 00:36:38,214
you've never given a thought
to my personal anguish.
692
00:36:38,238 --> 00:36:40,775
Well, you're not a guy,
and you never will be.
693
00:36:41,074 --> 00:36:42,564
Why... why can't you be
694
00:36:42,867 --> 00:36:44,903
a normal girl like marvel Ann?
695
00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:48,070
Oh, I wish I could be
more like her,
696
00:36:48,373 --> 00:36:49,909
so cultured, so refined.
697
00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:52,369
I can just imagine
all those wonderful evenings
698
00:36:52,669 --> 00:36:56,161
you've spent together
at the opera, museums,
699
00:36:56,464 --> 00:36:59,297
reading the great books.
700
00:36:59,592 --> 00:36:59,956
Aw, forget it!
701
00:37:00,260 --> 00:37:03,969
Next time you're drowning,
you can save yourself.
702
00:37:04,264 --> 00:37:07,756
And no matter how hard you
try, you will always be perfect!
703
00:37:08,059 --> 00:37:09,424
Perfect, perfect, perfect!
704
00:37:09,728 --> 00:37:13,312
Perfect hair, perfect teeth,
perfect eyes...
705
00:37:13,606 --> 00:37:17,394
Perfectly perfect.
706
00:37:18,778 --> 00:37:20,314
Miss Barnes?
707
00:37:20,613 --> 00:37:21,773
Miss Barnes?
708
00:37:22,073 --> 00:37:25,190
Another lousy Sci-Fi
horror flick.
709
00:37:25,493 --> 00:37:27,654
Berdine, I just...
I can't identify
710
00:37:27,954 --> 00:37:29,694
with the ratface girl from Mars.
711
00:37:29,998 --> 00:37:31,078
Is it really that bad?
712
00:37:31,374 --> 00:37:35,788
Honey, Lassie
could fart out a better script.
713
00:37:36,087 --> 00:37:38,078
Miss b, I found this photograph
714
00:37:38,381 --> 00:37:38,915
tucked away in a corner.
715
00:37:39,215 --> 00:37:41,501
- Is this your family?
- Oh, no.
716
00:37:41,801 --> 00:37:44,042
I've never seen it before.
717
00:37:44,345 --> 00:37:47,508
Oh, come in, come in.
718
00:37:47,807 --> 00:37:48,868
We brought you some flowers,
719
00:37:48,892 --> 00:37:52,009
but I guess my body heat
sort of slaughtered them.
720
00:37:52,312 --> 00:37:55,395
Oh, well,
you must have one hot body.
721
00:37:55,690 --> 00:37:58,773
Hey there, berdine.
How's it going?
722
00:37:59,068 --> 00:38:01,605
Hey, look,
berdine just found this photo.
723
00:38:01,905 --> 00:38:02,439
I wonder who it could be.
724
00:38:02,739 --> 00:38:06,948
Whoa, this here's
the flipside of cool.
725
00:38:07,243 --> 00:38:08,243
The elkins family.
726
00:38:08,369 --> 00:38:10,530
Say, are those the people who...
727
00:38:10,830 --> 00:38:11,945
Oh, you can tell me.
728
00:38:12,248 --> 00:38:13,784
I like feeling tingles.
729
00:38:14,083 --> 00:38:14,788
Yeah, well, baby, this tale
730
00:38:15,084 --> 00:38:17,450
even makes my massive
cojones rise.
731
00:38:17,754 --> 00:38:18,869
- Oh.
- 15 years ago,
732
00:38:19,172 --> 00:38:20,958
the elkins family
made this joint their digs.
733
00:38:21,257 --> 00:38:24,624
Ten-year-old Larry was
the youngest of the three kids.
734
00:38:24,928 --> 00:38:26,464
One hot summer night
he couldn't sleep,
735
00:38:26,763 --> 00:38:28,719
so he took his mom's
sharpest carving knife
736
00:38:29,015 --> 00:38:31,006
and hacked them all to death.
737
00:38:31,309 --> 00:38:33,721
Oh, look at my goose bumps.
738
00:38:34,020 --> 00:38:37,183
You know, they say
this house is haunted.
739
00:38:37,482 --> 00:38:39,122
If you're scared,
I'd like to make a pitch
740
00:38:39,275 --> 00:38:42,688
at being your bodyguard,
all night long if need be.
741
00:38:42,987 --> 00:38:43,646
Oh, tres gallant.
742
00:38:43,947 --> 00:38:45,938
Miss b,
I've got an even better idea.
743
00:38:46,241 --> 00:38:49,404
I've a book at home
on balinese exorcism rituals.
744
00:38:49,702 --> 00:38:52,444
I bet I could get rid
of those ghosts.
745
00:38:52,747 --> 00:38:54,738
Oh, quelle fun. Let's do it.
746
00:38:55,041 --> 00:38:56,247
Yeah, let's do it.
747
00:38:56,543 --> 00:38:58,158
We'll have
a slumber party Chez moi,
748
00:38:58,461 --> 00:39:00,622
and we'll take a whack
at some of those spells.
749
00:39:00,922 --> 00:39:04,506
That'll teach
those evil spirits who's boss.
750
00:39:04,801 --> 00:39:05,801
Cool.
751
00:39:06,052 --> 00:39:10,011
A slumber party
thrown by a movie actress?
752
00:39:10,306 --> 00:39:13,013
Oh, perhaps
if it were Deborah kerr
753
00:39:13,309 --> 00:39:16,176
or Audrey hepburn,
but bettina Barnes?
754
00:39:16,479 --> 00:39:17,059
Out of the question.
755
00:39:17,355 --> 00:39:19,124
Oh, but mother, it's not
like we're going to be
756
00:39:19,148 --> 00:39:20,638
drag racing
through Griffith park.
757
00:39:20,942 --> 00:39:23,649
Florence, please get the eggs
out of the frigidaire.
758
00:39:23,945 --> 00:39:27,984
You're going to love
this bavarian custard pudding.
759
00:39:28,283 --> 00:39:29,648
But mother...
760
00:39:29,993 --> 00:39:30,322
Dear,
761
00:39:30,618 --> 00:39:34,486
a slumber party is an invitation
to sexual intercourse.
762
00:39:34,789 --> 00:39:36,871
Oh, I know how they paint it
in the movies...
763
00:39:37,166 --> 00:39:39,578
A man and a woman locked
in embrace,
764
00:39:39,878 --> 00:39:43,370
soft lighting,
a pitcher of Manhattans,
765
00:39:43,673 --> 00:39:46,130
rachmaninoff playing
in the background.
766
00:39:46,426 --> 00:39:48,963
Well, my girl,
that is not how it is.
767
00:39:49,262 --> 00:39:51,844
You have no idea
how repugnant it can be to have
768
00:39:52,140 --> 00:39:54,131
a man's sweaty thing
poking at you.
769
00:39:54,434 --> 00:39:55,434
- Ow.
- You like that?
770
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:56,996
- How does that feel?
- Mother, stop,
771
00:39:57,020 --> 00:39:58,100
- you're hurting me.
- Huh?
772
00:39:58,396 --> 00:40:02,890
That's nothing compared to
when they poke you down there.
773
00:40:07,155 --> 00:40:08,816
Get them ugly old paws off me,
bitch.
774
00:40:09,115 --> 00:40:11,026
- Florence...
- Don't tell me how to handle
775
00:40:11,326 --> 00:40:12,606
my man's flippety-floppety,
baby.
776
00:40:12,827 --> 00:40:14,667
I grease up the cake pan,
throw it in the oven,
777
00:40:14,871 --> 00:40:18,534
- and let the batter rise.
- Florence, stop it!
778
00:40:18,833 --> 00:40:19,948
On!
779
00:40:22,462 --> 00:40:25,454
Mother? Mother, what's wrong?
780
00:40:25,757 --> 00:40:27,122
Why are you crying?
781
00:40:29,928 --> 00:40:32,465
You never know, do you?
782
00:40:33,932 --> 00:40:38,016
I must be the worst mother
in the entire world.
783
00:40:38,311 --> 00:40:39,801
No, it's just that, well,
784
00:40:40,104 --> 00:40:41,832
things are different
from when you were young,
785
00:40:41,856 --> 00:40:45,474
but that doesn't mean
you're bad.
786
00:40:45,777 --> 00:40:48,393
You really want to go
to that party, don't you?
787
00:40:48,696 --> 00:40:49,981
I'll die if I miss it, mom.
788
00:40:50,281 --> 00:40:52,146
It's the nonstop ultimate.
789
00:40:52,450 --> 00:40:56,489
Well, as long
as there are no boys present,
790
00:40:56,788 --> 00:41:00,701
I guess it's as you teens
would say, okel-dokel.
791
00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,366
Oh, mother.
792
00:41:03,670 --> 00:41:10,166
I feel the spirit's hot breath
on my neck.
793
00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:15,963
Oh, their lips on mine,
so sweet.
794
00:41:16,265 --> 00:41:23,012
Oh, a touch, fingers
lightly caressing my breast.
795
00:41:23,314 --> 00:41:29,401
Oh, a tongue,
a tongue licking my...
796
00:41:29,696 --> 00:41:31,937
Good gravy, I forgot the chant.
797
00:41:32,240 --> 00:41:34,105
That's supposed to come first.
798
00:41:35,618 --> 00:41:37,529
We were doing just swell.
799
00:41:37,829 --> 00:41:38,238
On.
800
00:41:38,538 --> 00:41:40,779
Okay, why don't we just
take a break,
801
00:41:41,082 --> 00:41:42,913
and I'll whip up
the house special,
802
00:41:43,209 --> 00:41:48,249
my world-famous jalapeño
pancakes with peach sauce, hmm?
803
00:41:49,799 --> 00:41:51,505
Oh, look at me.
804
00:41:51,801 --> 00:41:53,632
I am hopeless.
805
00:41:53,928 --> 00:41:54,963
Oh, I'll get that.
806
00:41:55,263 --> 00:41:58,596
Oh, stop. Um...
807
00:41:58,891 --> 00:41:59,471
I think it's best
808
00:41:59,767 --> 00:42:05,182
if we preserve the fantasy
of my on-screen image.
809
00:42:05,481 --> 00:42:07,767
On.
810
00:42:08,067 --> 00:42:08,431
Wait.
811
00:42:08,735 --> 00:42:12,398
Meet me in the guest bathroom
in ten minutes.
812
00:42:13,656 --> 00:42:14,656
Dig this.
813
00:42:14,907 --> 00:42:17,774
Must be bettina's room.
814
00:42:19,912 --> 00:42:22,028
It's just me, starcat.
815
00:42:22,331 --> 00:42:23,331
Sorry.
816
00:42:23,416 --> 00:42:24,075
I'm sure Larry elkins
817
00:42:24,375 --> 00:42:27,287
is residing in a well-guarded
booby hatch somewhere.
818
00:42:27,587 --> 00:42:30,294
Unless the state board of
evaluation found his treatment
819
00:42:30,590 --> 00:42:32,376
and rehabilitation
to be complete.
820
00:42:32,675 --> 00:42:33,675
Then he can get sprung.
821
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:36,502
As an expert,
maybe you can help me.
822
00:42:36,804 --> 00:42:39,011
See, I have this girlfriend.
823
00:42:39,307 --> 00:42:41,389
I'm kind of worried about her.
824
00:42:41,684 --> 00:42:43,970
She has these blackouts.
825
00:42:44,270 --> 00:42:45,270
What sort of blackouts?
826
00:42:45,313 --> 00:42:47,474
Well, she says
when she comes to,
827
00:42:47,774 --> 00:42:49,774
she doesn't really remember
anything that happened,
828
00:42:49,817 --> 00:42:52,729
but she thinks when she's out,
she's really out.
829
00:42:53,029 --> 00:42:56,738
I mean, like, out of her bird.
830
00:42:57,033 --> 00:42:58,614
Well, what do you think?
831
00:42:58,910 --> 00:43:01,026
It's not professional
to give an instant diagnosis,
832
00:43:01,329 --> 00:43:02,729
but I'd say
she's probably suffering
833
00:43:02,872 --> 00:43:07,536
from morbidly psychotic episodes
of schizophrenia.
834
00:43:07,835 --> 00:43:09,666
I didn't know
berdine was so unstable.
835
00:43:09,962 --> 00:43:12,874
Berdine? Who said anything
about berdine?
836
00:43:13,174 --> 00:43:14,914
Well, you don't have
any other friends.
837
00:43:15,218 --> 00:43:16,333
Twisted loner that I am?
838
00:43:16,636 --> 00:43:21,926
Oh, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it like that.
839
00:43:22,225 --> 00:43:24,967
How's about a truce?
840
00:43:25,269 --> 00:43:26,759
Okay, a truce,
841
00:43:27,063 --> 00:43:29,349
and I take it back
that you're perfect.
842
00:43:29,649 --> 00:43:30,809
You're deeply flawed.
843
00:43:31,109 --> 00:43:32,211
In fact, from a certain angle,
844
00:43:32,235 --> 00:43:34,942
I can even see a small bump
on your nose.
845
00:43:35,238 --> 00:43:37,479
From one mess to another?
846
00:43:40,618 --> 00:43:42,279
I think the reason
I pick on you so much
847
00:43:42,578 --> 00:43:44,443
is because you're so darn perky.
848
00:43:44,747 --> 00:43:45,787
You can't help it. I mean,
849
00:43:45,873 --> 00:43:50,993
not all of us can be attuned
to the darker side of life.
850
00:43:55,967 --> 00:43:59,255
Fuck you.
851
00:43:59,554 --> 00:44:00,554
Starcat?
852
00:44:00,721 --> 00:44:02,131
I'm here.
853
00:44:02,431 --> 00:44:06,174
Remember me, marvel Ann?
854
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:20,989
Is... is that the lady
of my dreams?
855
00:44:24,328 --> 00:44:26,944
Mm, tingles.
856
00:44:37,008 --> 00:44:39,499
Imagine bettina
wearing this stuff.
857
00:44:39,802 --> 00:44:42,134
Yeah, and naked underneath.
858
00:44:42,430 --> 00:44:43,430
Ooh, ooh,
859
00:44:43,723 --> 00:44:48,387
I could just see her pretty
titties bouncing under this one.
860
00:44:48,686 --> 00:44:50,267
Let me see.
861
00:44:50,563 --> 00:44:54,727
Wow, which is the top?
862
00:44:55,026 --> 00:44:56,266
On.
863
00:45:00,281 --> 00:45:02,567
Here, try this on.
864
00:45:02,867 --> 00:45:05,358
It looks your size.
865
00:45:09,540 --> 00:45:13,579
I don't know, I think
it makes my neck look thick.
866
00:45:13,878 --> 00:45:17,166
- Oh.
- Oh, oh, we was just,
867
00:45:17,465 --> 00:45:19,109
you know, looking for stuff
for the exorcism.
868
00:45:19,133 --> 00:45:20,794
Yeah, we didn't hurt anything,
honest.
869
00:45:21,093 --> 00:45:23,004
Oh, of course you didn't.
870
00:45:23,304 --> 00:45:24,544
Oh, those white feathers,
871
00:45:24,847 --> 00:45:27,680
they just look great
against your tan.
872
00:45:27,975 --> 00:45:31,888
But, you know, I don't think
this is your color at all.
873
00:45:32,188 --> 00:45:33,644
Try on my black peignoir.
874
00:45:33,940 --> 00:45:35,220
You know, it's a Paris original.
875
00:45:35,274 --> 00:45:37,310
Oh, I, you know,
don't really want to...
876
00:45:37,610 --> 00:45:40,568
Oh, there's nothing
wrong with dressing up.
877
00:45:40,863 --> 00:45:43,195
That's why I'm an actress.
878
00:45:43,491 --> 00:45:45,732
Some afternoon
you should come over,
879
00:45:46,035 --> 00:45:47,235
and we can play beauty parlor.
880
00:45:47,328 --> 00:45:49,223
Sure, yeah, but, you know,
we got to get downstairs.
881
00:45:49,247 --> 00:45:51,704
You know, the guys, they're
gonna be waiting for us, so...
882
00:45:51,999 --> 00:45:54,331
Oh, yeah, yeah, the guys.
883
00:45:54,627 --> 00:45:58,211
But you haven't even seen
my shoes.
884
00:46:00,258 --> 00:46:03,967
Berdine, have I been
acting strange lately?
885
00:46:04,262 --> 00:46:07,299
Other than being
an obnoxious snob?
886
00:46:07,598 --> 00:46:08,713
That bad, huh?
887
00:46:09,016 --> 00:46:09,471
It's okay.
888
00:46:09,767 --> 00:46:11,473
You're part
of the cool crowd now.
889
00:46:11,769 --> 00:46:14,932
Being best friends and soul
mates is sort of kid stuff.
890
00:46:15,231 --> 00:46:16,511
As Jean-Paul sartre would say...
891
00:46:16,607 --> 00:46:19,064
No, what I meant was
do you think I'm suffering
892
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:23,148
from morbidly psychotic episodes
of schizophrenia?
893
00:46:23,447 --> 00:46:25,028
Morbidly schizophrenic what?
894
00:46:25,324 --> 00:46:27,406
Where'd you get that crazy idea?
895
00:46:27,702 --> 00:46:28,407
It's like just now.
896
00:46:28,703 --> 00:46:33,037
I was talking to starcat,
and now I'm out here with you.
897
00:46:33,332 --> 00:46:35,323
Does this happen a lot?
898
00:46:35,626 --> 00:46:35,990
Well...
899
00:46:36,294 --> 00:46:41,459
Last time it happened
was the night junior was killed.
900
00:46:43,551 --> 00:46:44,551
Kanaka, you rat fink.
901
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:47,126
Don't give me no sass.
It was a gas.
902
00:46:50,391 --> 00:46:52,757
Is he dead?
903
00:46:53,060 --> 00:46:56,302
That's dead.
904
00:46:56,605 --> 00:46:59,813
- 1.j.!
- Nobody touch a thing.
905
00:47:02,945 --> 00:47:09,783
Cookie, is there something
stuffed in his mouth?
906
00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:12,568
Oh, my god.
907
00:47:12,872 --> 00:47:14,392
Somebody's bumping off
all our friends.
908
00:47:14,498 --> 00:47:15,858
I don't want to die.
I'm panicking.
909
00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:17,477
- It's giving me agita.
- I'm experiencing
910
00:47:17,501 --> 00:47:20,993
severe feelings of loss
and a profound sense of anxiety.
911
00:47:21,297 --> 00:47:22,357
You guys are the absolute limit.
912
00:47:22,381 --> 00:47:24,443
I suppose this is your answer
to school overcrowding,
913
00:47:24,467 --> 00:47:26,173
letting us
get butchered one by one?
914
00:47:26,469 --> 00:47:28,551
We were in the lanai
when we heard bettina.
915
00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:31,212
I'd know that scream anywhere,
916
00:47:31,515 --> 00:47:32,595
tender and vulnerable,
917
00:47:32,892 --> 00:47:35,884
yet brimming
with inner strength.
918
00:47:38,856 --> 00:47:39,436
Miss Barnes,
919
00:47:39,732 --> 00:47:42,644
I hope my colleagues
weren't too rough on you.
920
00:47:42,943 --> 00:47:45,685
No, I'm all right.
921
00:47:45,988 --> 00:47:50,027
This trauma can only make me
a greater artist.
922
00:47:50,326 --> 00:47:51,907
You see, to excel at drama,
923
00:47:52,203 --> 00:47:58,699
one must experience tragedy
and then be able to transform
924
00:47:59,001 --> 00:48:02,368
that into the raw material
of art.
925
00:48:02,671 --> 00:48:03,671
Otherwise...
926
00:48:07,968 --> 00:48:09,754
Keep it going, partner.
927
00:48:10,054 --> 00:48:12,010
Keep up the speed.
928
00:48:12,306 --> 00:48:14,137
Harder.
929
00:48:14,433 --> 00:48:15,433
Pull back.
930
00:48:15,684 --> 00:48:17,094
Now run the light.
931
00:48:17,395 --> 00:48:20,057
- Yaaah!
- Ah!
932
00:48:20,356 --> 00:48:23,018
What's wrong?
933
00:48:23,317 --> 00:48:25,649
Taking a breather.
934
00:48:26,904 --> 00:48:28,235
I talked to
sergeant macklehenny.
935
00:48:28,531 --> 00:48:30,050
He said we could have
the wedding in his backyard,
936
00:48:30,074 --> 00:48:32,781
and Steve Casey's wife
said she'd do the flowers.
937
00:48:33,077 --> 00:48:33,691
You've been busy.
938
00:48:33,994 --> 00:48:35,859
Well, if we want
a June wedding...
939
00:48:36,163 --> 00:48:37,869
Isn't that a little soon?
940
00:48:38,165 --> 00:48:40,497
What, having second thoughts?
941
00:48:40,793 --> 00:48:41,793
It's just that, well,
942
00:48:41,919 --> 00:48:44,831
I'm taking
the detective's exam next month.
943
00:48:45,131 --> 00:48:47,793
Shouldn't you be thinking
about having babies?
944
00:48:48,092 --> 00:48:50,754
A baby?
You've got to be kidding.
945
00:48:51,053 --> 00:48:52,418
My career's just building.
946
00:48:52,721 --> 00:48:56,760
I'm sure
you can understand that.
947
00:48:57,059 --> 00:49:01,473
I guess I just like
being a cop on the beat.
948
00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:02,932
Well, I want more.
949
00:49:03,232 --> 00:49:04,392
I'm gonna show those bastards
950
00:49:04,650 --> 00:49:07,687
who said a woman
couldn't be a detective.
951
00:49:07,987 --> 00:49:09,943
And where do I fit in?
952
00:49:10,239 --> 00:49:12,230
Honey, you fit just fine.
953
00:49:12,533 --> 00:49:12,942
Stop it!
954
00:49:13,242 --> 00:49:15,654
- I'm not your whore.
- Don't talk that way.
955
00:49:15,953 --> 00:49:18,035
This isn't what I want.
956
00:49:18,330 --> 00:49:19,445
None of it!
957
00:49:19,874 --> 00:49:20,408
Come back.
958
00:49:20,791 --> 00:49:22,998
Darling, all the success
in the world means nothing
959
00:49:23,294 --> 00:49:26,286
unless you're beside me.
960
00:49:26,589 --> 00:49:27,829
I need you!
961
00:49:30,926 --> 00:49:33,042
Monica, you okay?
962
00:49:33,345 --> 00:49:34,425
Of course I am.
963
00:49:34,722 --> 00:49:37,429
Strange that the victim
had only one testicle
964
00:49:37,725 --> 00:49:38,885
stuffed in his mouth.
965
00:49:39,185 --> 00:49:40,625
I believe they usually
come in pairs.
966
00:49:40,769 --> 00:49:43,181
Well, that's 'cause
he only had one.
967
00:49:43,481 --> 00:49:43,810
I checked.
968
00:49:44,106 --> 00:49:46,643
Plenty of meat,
but only one potato.
969
00:49:46,942 --> 00:49:50,480
Cookie, the girl who was
murdered at the drive-in,
970
00:49:50,779 --> 00:49:54,488
do you recall any distinguishing
marks or scars?
971
00:49:54,783 --> 00:49:56,444
Yes, indeedy.
972
00:49:56,744 --> 00:49:57,859
Victim had a harelip.
973
00:49:58,162 --> 00:50:01,996
Precisely, a harelip,
a common birth defect.
974
00:50:02,291 --> 00:50:04,156
The boy at the beach
suffered from
975
00:50:04,460 --> 00:50:05,950
the heartbreak of psoriasis,
976
00:50:06,253 --> 00:50:09,495
and this young man had one nut.
977
00:50:09,798 --> 00:50:10,162
Cookie,
978
00:50:10,466 --> 00:50:16,757
someone out there has a problem
with people who are different.
979
00:50:17,515 --> 00:50:18,515
Look at this dull blade,
980
00:50:18,599 --> 00:50:20,840
can't even slice
through a sandwich meat.
981
00:50:21,143 --> 00:50:22,974
If there's one thing
I can't stand,
982
00:50:23,270 --> 00:50:24,885
it's imperfection.
983
00:50:25,189 --> 00:50:28,272
No room in the world for it.
984
00:50:28,817 --> 00:50:30,899
It's just not the same
without t.4. And junior.
985
00:50:31,195 --> 00:50:34,278
Yeah, I can still picture
old t.J. Hanging ten
986
00:50:34,573 --> 00:50:36,234
off the nose of his hobie.
987
00:50:36,534 --> 00:50:39,401
And all that time
he only had one nut.
988
00:50:43,332 --> 00:50:44,697
Yeah.
989
00:50:45,251 --> 00:50:48,743
Hey, kanaka,
think we should cancel the luau?
990
00:50:49,046 --> 00:50:50,832
You know,
out of respect for the dead?
991
00:50:51,131 --> 00:50:51,495
No way, man.
992
00:50:51,799 --> 00:50:53,239
We got to commune
under the full moon
993
00:50:53,384 --> 00:50:54,999
to celebrate our main man,
king Neptune.
994
00:50:55,302 --> 00:50:58,760
Yeah, I mean, they'd want
us to have a good time.
995
00:50:59,056 --> 00:51:02,048
Us? She's saying us again.
996
00:51:02,351 --> 00:51:03,370
Maybe the kid should come.
997
00:51:03,394 --> 00:51:06,101
Might be a good mix,
like adding coke to rum.
998
00:51:06,397 --> 00:51:08,763
Oh, golly, my first luau.
999
00:51:09,066 --> 00:51:11,557
I've never been to
an orgy before.
1000
00:51:11,860 --> 00:51:12,940
What do I wear?
1001
00:51:35,926 --> 00:51:37,837
I got to split.
I'm late to meet marvel Ann.
1002
00:51:38,137 --> 00:51:39,531
Chicklet, old buddy,
can I borrow a few bucks
1003
00:51:39,555 --> 00:51:43,093
to buy something sweet
to keep my girl cuddly?
1004
00:51:43,392 --> 00:51:45,633
Sure.
1005
00:51:45,936 --> 00:51:48,018
Frankly, Dr. Edwards,
in the past
1006
00:51:48,314 --> 00:51:50,074
I've had little use
for you head shrinkers...
1007
00:51:50,232 --> 00:51:52,232
Inkblot tests, I hate my mother,
and all that crap.
1008
00:51:52,484 --> 00:51:55,976
But with this case
I find myself at a loss.
1009
00:51:56,280 --> 00:51:59,113
I understand you
specialize in the treatment
1010
00:51:59,408 --> 00:52:00,488
of homicidal maniacs.
1011
00:52:00,784 --> 00:52:02,149
Yes, but I've never
been involved
1012
00:52:02,453 --> 00:52:04,193
in a criminal investigation.
1013
00:52:04,496 --> 00:52:04,951
Ha. Don't worry,
1014
00:52:05,247 --> 00:52:07,329
you can leave the cops
and robbers stuff to me.
1015
00:52:07,625 --> 00:52:08,956
What I need from you is this...
1016
00:52:09,251 --> 00:52:11,412
What kind of sicko
am I looking for?
1017
00:52:11,712 --> 00:52:15,921
The perpetrator preys
upon vulnerable unfortunates
1018
00:52:16,216 --> 00:52:18,707
the killer deems somehow flawed.
1019
00:52:19,011 --> 00:52:19,625
Give me a profile.
1020
00:52:19,928 --> 00:52:22,840
Let's say the assailant
is highly sophisticated
1021
00:52:23,140 --> 00:52:26,928
yet childlike,
vulnerable but canny,
1022
00:52:27,227 --> 00:52:32,597
capable of both tenderness
and extreme brutality.
1023
00:52:32,900 --> 00:52:35,607
The murderer
is highly intelligent
1024
00:52:35,903 --> 00:52:39,361
yet strangely
out of touch with reality,
1025
00:52:39,657 --> 00:52:43,024
sexual,
yet surprisingly innocent.
1026
00:52:43,327 --> 00:52:46,740
This individual
has an insatiable craving
1027
00:52:47,039 --> 00:52:51,282
for normalcy which will make
your investigation
1028
00:52:51,585 --> 00:52:53,041
- all the more difficult.
- How so?
1029
00:52:53,337 --> 00:52:56,704
Because the killer
will do everything in his power
1030
00:52:57,007 --> 00:52:58,167
to pass as normal.
1031
00:52:58,467 --> 00:53:02,210
He or she could be anyone.
1032
00:53:02,513 --> 00:53:03,513
What you doing?
1033
00:53:03,806 --> 00:53:07,139
For the luau, pagan god of sex.
1034
00:53:07,434 --> 00:53:11,347
Oh, funny coincidence... that's
what I need some advice about.
1035
00:53:11,647 --> 00:53:16,892
See, there's this girl I know
who's friends with this guy.
1036
00:53:17,194 --> 00:53:20,311
She wants to be
more than just friends.
1037
00:53:20,614 --> 00:53:27,201
What I need to know is if she
puts out, will he respect her?
1038
00:53:27,496 --> 00:53:30,533
Kid, lesson number one,
don't be sleazy.
1039
00:53:30,833 --> 00:53:33,495
Nobody wants
what they can get too easy.
1040
00:53:33,794 --> 00:53:35,910
For instance,
I got this lady friend.
1041
00:53:36,213 --> 00:53:37,874
I haven't seen her in a while.
1042
00:53:38,173 --> 00:53:40,585
And that makes you really
miss her, huh?
1043
00:53:40,884 --> 00:53:41,293
Uh-huh.
1044
00:53:41,593 --> 00:53:43,254
Don't even know
how to reach her.
1045
00:53:43,554 --> 00:53:45,385
Her name's Anne bowman.
1046
00:53:45,681 --> 00:53:46,045
Ring a bell?
1047
00:53:46,348 --> 00:53:51,012
Nope. Does she live around here?
1048
00:53:51,311 --> 00:53:52,311
Real close.
1049
00:53:52,479 --> 00:53:57,394
It's still a mystery to me
just what turns her on.
1050
00:53:57,693 --> 00:53:59,274
Is something wrong
with your back?
1051
00:53:59,570 --> 00:54:01,606
Oh, man,
I must be out of my gourd.
1052
00:54:01,905 --> 00:54:04,647
Kid, before I get myself
in a jam, you better scram.
1053
00:54:04,950 --> 00:54:06,781
Yeah, my mom would be frosted
1054
00:54:07,077 --> 00:54:09,739
if she knew I was alone
with a man in his house.
1055
00:54:10,038 --> 00:54:11,038
I mean, I don't know why.
1056
00:54:11,081 --> 00:54:13,413
It's not like you find
me even remotely sexy.
1057
00:54:13,709 --> 00:54:15,791
I mean, you probably...
1058
00:54:20,340 --> 00:54:21,340
Anne? Are you back?
1059
00:54:21,425 --> 00:54:23,290
With a vengeance.
God, I didn't think
1060
00:54:23,594 --> 00:54:26,051
the little twerp
would ever let me in.
1061
00:54:26,346 --> 00:54:27,552
It's the circles, isn't it?
1062
00:54:27,848 --> 00:54:29,088
You're a regular Einstein.
1063
00:54:29,391 --> 00:54:33,054
Mistress Anne,
I've been a bad boy.
1064
00:54:33,353 --> 00:54:35,685
And bad boys get spanked.
1065
00:54:35,981 --> 00:54:37,767
Bad boys get tortured.
1066
00:54:38,066 --> 00:54:39,681
Cowabungal!
1067
00:54:39,985 --> 00:54:41,850
Boy, what you doing
dressed up like a ho?
1068
00:54:42,154 --> 00:54:43,735
- You out your mind?
- Anne?
1069
00:54:44,031 --> 00:54:45,216
Anne? Who you be calling Anne?
1070
00:54:45,240 --> 00:54:48,448
My name is tylene,
tylene Carmichael carmel.
1071
00:54:48,744 --> 00:54:50,104
I work the checkout
at the safeway.
1072
00:54:50,329 --> 00:54:52,320
Look, it's going on 4:30, right,
1073
00:54:52,623 --> 00:54:53,738
and my supervisor, miss...
1074
00:54:54,041 --> 00:54:54,700
Bring Anne back!
1075
00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:56,080
Look what I've got for you!
1076
00:54:56,168 --> 00:54:57,187
Back up! I got me a blade.
1077
00:54:57,211 --> 00:54:58,371
I'll cut you. I will cut you.
1078
00:54:58,670 --> 00:54:59,790
Forget the paddle, bad idea.
1079
00:54:59,922 --> 00:55:00,536
Don't mess with me, boy.
1080
00:55:00,839 --> 00:55:03,376
Don't even
try to escape my power.
1081
00:55:03,675 --> 00:55:06,007
The world
has conspired to suppress me,
1082
00:55:06,303 --> 00:55:09,966
but I've risen like a Phoenix
to claim my birthright.
1083
00:55:10,265 --> 00:55:15,601
Anne bowman, dominatrix,
empress of the planet earth.
1084
00:55:15,896 --> 00:55:16,896
Catchy, isn't it?
1085
00:55:17,147 --> 00:55:20,560
You know, I think
I've gotten in over my head.
1086
00:55:20,859 --> 00:55:22,975
Oh, miss b,
auggie's does deliver.
1087
00:55:23,278 --> 00:55:26,862
Berdine, how can I
express universal emotions
1088
00:55:27,157 --> 00:55:30,900
if I don't observe
how real people live?
1089
00:55:31,328 --> 00:55:35,947
Oh, how terribly human.
1090
00:55:39,545 --> 00:55:43,538
Now, we mustn't draw
attention to ourselves.
1091
00:55:43,841 --> 00:55:46,753
We're here to observe.
1092
00:55:47,636 --> 00:55:50,252
Look over there, a brave soul.
1093
00:55:50,556 --> 00:55:53,514
Yeah, she's pretty brave,
all right.
1094
00:55:53,809 --> 00:55:56,266
- Hello, berdine.
- Hello, Rhonda.
1095
00:55:56,562 --> 00:55:57,562
Not alone for a change.
1096
00:55:57,771 --> 00:55:59,682
You gonna introduce me
to your new friends?
1097
00:55:59,982 --> 00:56:02,473
This is yo yo and provoloney.
1098
00:56:02,776 --> 00:56:04,061
Hmm, intellectual types.
1099
00:56:04,361 --> 00:56:05,567
And this is my cousin,
1100
00:56:05,863 --> 00:56:08,070
frieda diefendorfer
from altoona.
1101
00:56:08,365 --> 00:56:09,901
You're not from altoona.
1102
00:56:10,200 --> 00:56:11,531
You're bettina Barnes.
1103
00:56:11,827 --> 00:56:15,991
Well, you're very sweet
and very pretty.
1104
00:56:16,290 --> 00:56:17,370
So that is your real voice.
1105
00:56:17,624 --> 00:56:20,036
I thought maybe they messed
with it to make it sound funny.
1106
00:56:20,335 --> 00:56:22,872
Oh, well,
would you care to join us?
1107
00:56:23,171 --> 00:56:24,411
No, I've got to get going home.
1108
00:56:24,631 --> 00:56:26,371
I've got friends
coming for dinner.
1109
00:56:26,675 --> 00:56:28,211
Berdine, you're not invited.
1110
00:56:28,510 --> 00:56:30,501
Miss Barnes, I'm a real fan.
1111
00:56:30,804 --> 00:56:31,924
You know, for crummy movies,
1112
00:56:32,097 --> 00:56:33,497
the camera
work must be pretty good.
1113
00:56:33,599 --> 00:56:36,636
Can't even see
those itty-bitty lines.
1114
00:56:36,935 --> 00:56:39,176
Anyway, it's been a thrill.
1115
00:56:39,479 --> 00:56:40,594
Kisses.
1116
00:56:41,857 --> 00:56:45,065
That wheelchair
needs an ejector seat.
1117
00:56:45,360 --> 00:56:46,816
So what can I do you for?
1118
00:56:47,112 --> 00:56:49,899
I think we need
a few more minutes.
1119
00:56:50,198 --> 00:56:53,816
Hey, hon, has anyone
ever told you you're a ringer
1120
00:56:54,119 --> 00:56:57,577
for that gal that makes
all those stinky horror movies?
1121
00:56:59,625 --> 00:57:00,956
I need air.
1122
00:57:01,251 --> 00:57:03,162
Oxygen, I'm suffocating.
1123
00:57:03,462 --> 00:57:04,462
I have to go outside.
1124
00:57:04,588 --> 00:57:06,954
- I'll go with you.
- No.
1125
00:57:07,257 --> 00:57:07,621
I must be alone.
1126
00:57:07,925 --> 00:57:11,008
Don't worry,
just order me a Reuben,
1127
00:57:11,303 --> 00:57:13,419
fries, and a cherry coke.
1128
00:57:19,144 --> 00:57:22,511
What are you looking at,
asshole?
1129
00:57:24,900 --> 00:57:25,605
What are you doing?
1130
00:57:25,901 --> 00:57:29,109
I don't... 1 don't need
your stinking help, okay?
1131
00:57:29,404 --> 00:57:32,487
Where the hell
are you taking me?
1132
00:57:34,868 --> 00:57:37,701
There's your tuna melt
1133
00:57:37,996 --> 00:57:40,487
and your bit,
1134
00:57:40,791 --> 00:57:42,577
and you got the prunes.
1135
00:57:42,876 --> 00:57:44,412
Those oughta loosen you up.
1136
00:57:44,711 --> 00:57:46,167
Ain't your friend coming back?
1137
00:57:46,463 --> 00:57:48,328
Oh, I hope so.
1138
00:57:48,632 --> 00:57:50,543
Oh, my lord.
1139
00:57:50,842 --> 00:57:52,673
Berdine, darling.
1140
00:57:52,970 --> 00:57:54,961
- It's been ages.
- Chicklet?
1141
00:57:55,263 --> 00:57:57,345
Where'd you find that get-up?
1142
00:57:57,641 --> 00:57:58,756
Oh, this?
1143
00:57:59,059 --> 00:58:00,970
A gift from an admirer.
1144
00:58:01,269 --> 00:58:02,975
I am panting for a cocktail.
1145
00:58:03,271 --> 00:58:05,182
A highball, baby,
hold the fruit.
1146
00:58:05,482 --> 00:58:08,519
You're not even old enough
to be smoking.
1147
00:58:08,819 --> 00:58:12,482
Peasant, be gone.
You're annoying me.
1148
00:58:12,781 --> 00:58:14,191
You're on a wild groove.
1149
00:58:14,491 --> 00:58:17,608
Love your eye makeup,
very Cleopatra.
1150
00:58:17,911 --> 00:58:22,655
Well, I... 1-
1151
00:58:22,958 --> 00:58:25,165
what's this all over my fingers?
1152
00:58:26,211 --> 00:58:27,997
- What's this?
- I think it's fabulous.
1153
00:58:28,296 --> 00:58:32,710
- Are you okay?
- Berdine, it happened again.
1154
00:58:33,010 --> 00:58:33,590
What happened?
1155
00:58:33,885 --> 00:58:36,501
I was in kanaka's shack.
1156
00:58:36,805 --> 00:58:38,921
Oh, god, what's wrong with me?
1157
00:58:39,224 --> 00:58:41,431
Nothing is wrong with you.
1158
00:58:41,727 --> 00:58:43,263
She's just putting you guys on.
1159
00:58:43,562 --> 00:58:47,726
Ever since we were kids
she's been doing funny voices.
1160
00:58:50,068 --> 00:58:51,774
Both: Oh.
1161
00:58:55,198 --> 00:58:57,564
Clear a path, police.
1162
00:58:57,868 --> 00:59:01,611
All of yas, evaporate.
1163
00:59:02,122 --> 00:59:06,331
The crippled girl.
Fits the pattern.
1164
00:59:06,626 --> 00:59:12,041
Miss Barnes, why am I feeling
a sense of déja vu?
1165
00:59:12,340 --> 00:59:15,377
I have a breath mint
in my purse, sweetie.
1166
00:59:15,677 --> 00:59:16,883
Will that help?
1167
00:59:17,179 --> 00:59:18,179
A strange coincidence
1168
00:59:18,472 --> 00:59:20,758
that all of your recent
personal appearances
1169
00:59:21,058 --> 00:59:22,969
have been at crime scenes.
1170
00:59:23,268 --> 00:59:26,726
Say, is that a crack?
1171
00:59:28,065 --> 00:59:31,603
Fellas, do, please, sit down.
1172
00:59:33,236 --> 00:59:35,773
I want to talk to you
about the murders
1173
00:59:36,073 --> 00:59:37,734
that have been taking place.
1174
00:59:38,033 --> 00:59:39,944
I'm concerned
that one of you could be
1175
00:59:40,243 --> 00:59:43,280
- the killer's next target.
- Why us?
1176
00:59:43,580 --> 00:59:45,161
Well, so far
the killer's gone after
1177
00:59:45,457 --> 00:59:47,914
a girl with a harelip,
a young lady in a wheelchair,
1178
00:59:48,210 --> 00:59:51,794
a boy with psoriasis,
and another with one testicle.
1179
00:59:52,089 --> 00:59:53,149
Is there anything about you
1180
00:59:53,173 --> 00:59:58,042
that the killer could possibly
perceive as freakish?
1181
00:59:58,345 --> 00:59:59,004
Come now, fess up.
1182
00:59:59,304 --> 01:00:02,046
Everyone has something
they'd rather hide.
1183
01:00:02,349 --> 01:00:04,886
Since he won't say anything,
I guess I'll tell you.
1184
01:00:05,185 --> 01:00:06,721
Provoloney's
so constipated he's in
1185
01:00:07,020 --> 01:00:10,228
Ripley's believe it or not
for going 67 days
1186
01:00:10,524 --> 01:00:12,060
without taking a dump.
1187
01:00:12,359 --> 01:00:15,021
You want to see a freak?
Starcat, show her your big toe.
1188
01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:17,006
The nall fell off.
It makes you want to puke.
1189
01:00:17,030 --> 01:00:19,237
You guys think
this is real funny.
1190
01:00:19,533 --> 01:00:21,239
Wheelchairs and harelips
and stuff,
1191
01:00:21,535 --> 01:00:22,845
kind of makes
you want to crack up.
1192
01:00:22,869 --> 01:00:24,109
Oh, you kids.
1193
01:00:24,412 --> 01:00:26,323
I just hope someday
decent people no longer
1194
01:00:26,623 --> 01:00:29,615
find this sort of sick humor
a source of comedy.
1195
01:00:29,918 --> 01:00:33,126
Yo yo, a penny
for your thoughts.
1196
01:00:33,421 --> 01:00:34,627
There's nothing wrong with me.
1197
01:00:34,923 --> 01:00:36,504
This is for your own protection.
1198
01:00:36,800 --> 01:00:40,292
Do you feel different
in any way?
1199
01:00:40,595 --> 01:00:42,551
[, uh...
1200
01:00:42,848 --> 01:00:43,337
Maybe a little.
1201
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:46,803
What are you talking about?
You're 100% normal.
1202
01:00:47,102 --> 01:00:48,182
I am, but...
1203
01:00:48,478 --> 01:00:52,096
Sometimes I feel like
there's something in me
1204
01:00:52,399 --> 01:00:53,855
that's kind of...
1205
01:00:54,151 --> 01:00:55,891
The way I feel towards...
1206
01:00:56,194 --> 01:00:58,651
I mean, provoloney and me...
1207
01:00:58,947 --> 01:01:00,227
I can't believe this. Forget it.
1208
01:01:00,365 --> 01:01:02,401
You know, I hope the killer
knocks us all off.
1209
01:01:02,701 --> 01:01:05,033
Provoloney!
1210
01:01:05,328 --> 01:01:07,159
What exactly did I sound like?
1211
01:01:07,455 --> 01:01:09,992
Like an old lady,
like you were 30.
1212
01:01:10,292 --> 01:01:11,412
"Berdine, darling."
1213
01:01:11,668 --> 01:01:15,001
Oh, you won't tell anyone
I'm a nut job, will you?
1214
01:01:15,297 --> 01:01:16,297
Oh, of course not.
1215
01:01:16,590 --> 01:01:20,583
Chicklet forrest,
you are my best friend.
1216
01:01:20,886 --> 01:01:22,251
I'd keep your secret forever.
1217
01:01:22,554 --> 01:01:25,591
- You'd do that for me?
- I'd take a bullet.
1218
01:01:25,891 --> 01:01:27,631
It makes me feel like the way
1219
01:01:27,934 --> 01:01:32,849
things used to be
when it was just the two of us.
1220
01:01:34,357 --> 01:01:35,357
Hello, girls.
1221
01:01:35,567 --> 01:01:37,148
Florence, may I
ask of you a favor?
1222
01:01:37,444 --> 01:01:41,107
I wish to wear these trousers
to the luau Saturday night,
1223
01:01:41,406 --> 01:01:41,986
but the button fell off.
1224
01:01:42,282 --> 01:01:43,897
I'm not good with the needles.
1225
01:01:44,201 --> 01:01:48,160
Each time I put my hand
in the pants, I feel a prick.
1226
01:01:48,455 --> 01:01:49,820
Sure thing, Lars.
1227
01:01:50,123 --> 01:01:51,454
Thank you.
1228
01:01:53,710 --> 01:01:55,416
Oh, the luau.
1229
01:01:55,712 --> 01:01:57,794
I can't wait
to hear all about it.
1230
01:01:58,089 --> 01:02:00,080
Oh, I'm not going.
1231
01:02:00,383 --> 01:02:01,042
But you've got to go.
1232
01:02:01,343 --> 01:02:04,050
You have been canvassing
for that invitation all summer.
1233
01:02:04,346 --> 01:02:09,340
What if I blow a fuse
and I short out the whole party?
1234
01:02:11,311 --> 01:02:13,311
What goes on when I black out?
1235
01:02:13,521 --> 01:02:16,012
Golly, could I be the nutter
who's been butchering
1236
01:02:16,316 --> 01:02:17,316
all these people?
1237
01:02:17,567 --> 01:02:19,307
I'll never get
into a good school.
1238
01:02:19,611 --> 01:02:21,522
You've got to finish college.
1239
01:02:21,821 --> 01:02:23,021
It's a terrible tragedy seeing
1240
01:02:23,240 --> 01:02:24,508
all of your wonderful
moneymaking
1241
01:02:24,532 --> 01:02:26,864
- potential going to waste.
- That's parent stuff.
1242
01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:30,744
Kanaka says I've got the
potential to be a great surfer.
1243
01:02:32,249 --> 01:02:32,783
Where you going?
1244
01:02:33,083 --> 01:02:36,166
I am mapping out my future,
and you're not in it.
1245
01:02:36,461 --> 01:02:39,294
And here, you can take back
your tacky old ten-cent pin.
1246
01:02:39,589 --> 01:02:42,171
- Let me help you with that.
- Get your hands off of me!
1247
01:02:42,467 --> 01:02:43,627
No, but I think I can get it.
1248
01:02:46,846 --> 01:02:48,256
Marvel Ann, I am so sorry.
1249
01:02:48,556 --> 01:02:49,215
You did that on purpose.
1250
01:02:49,516 --> 01:02:53,634
You are a selfish,
disgusting, perverted weirdo,
1251
01:02:53,937 --> 01:02:55,928
and my advice to you
is to straighten up,
1252
01:02:56,231 --> 01:02:57,971
buckle down, and apply yourself
1253
01:02:58,275 --> 01:03:01,984
like any decent presbyterian.
1254
01:03:12,455 --> 01:03:13,945
Girl trouble?
1255
01:03:14,249 --> 01:03:15,785
It's a lot more than that.
1256
01:03:16,084 --> 01:03:17,824
See, I'm an extremely
complex person
1257
01:03:18,128 --> 01:03:20,540
with deep-rooted neuroses
and anxieties.
1258
01:03:20,839 --> 01:03:23,171
Why am I telling you this?
You're just a kid.
1259
01:03:23,466 --> 01:03:25,252
I'm not just a kid.
1260
01:03:25,552 --> 01:03:27,668
I'm... how did kanaka put it?
1261
01:03:27,971 --> 01:03:29,211
A luscious voluptuary.
1262
01:03:29,514 --> 01:03:30,514
He never said that, liar.
1263
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:32,471
He taught me how to surf,
didn't he?
1264
01:03:32,767 --> 01:03:34,177
And he always wants
to see me alone.
1265
01:03:34,477 --> 01:03:36,247
As a matter of fact,
I'm headed over to his shack
1266
01:03:36,271 --> 01:03:38,978
later today for an extremely
intimate tete-a-tete.
1267
01:03:39,274 --> 01:03:40,754
You're just trying
to make me jealous.
1268
01:03:40,900 --> 01:03:42,620
Ha. If we were at war
with the Soviet union,
1269
01:03:42,694 --> 01:03:45,106
I wouldn't even let you
into my bomb shelter.
1270
01:03:45,405 --> 01:03:46,405
Hey, hold on.
1271
01:03:46,698 --> 01:03:48,984
Didn't we call a truce?
1272
01:03:50,410 --> 01:03:55,530
You know, you could make
a tasty morsel to some wolf.
1273
01:03:58,126 --> 01:04:00,833
Starcat...
1274
01:04:01,129 --> 01:04:03,336
What do you do with marvel Ann?
1275
01:04:03,631 --> 01:04:05,622
I mean when you're alone.
1276
01:04:06,676 --> 01:04:07,862
It's kind of
embarrassing, chicklet.
1277
01:04:07,886 --> 01:04:12,050
Tell me. I mean, I need
to learn about this stuff.
1278
01:04:14,768 --> 01:04:18,226
Well, she nestles
real close to me.
1279
01:04:19,481 --> 01:04:21,267
Kind of like this?
1280
01:04:21,566 --> 01:04:24,103
Yeah, sort of like that.
1281
01:04:24,402 --> 01:04:26,518
And I hold her in my arms.
1282
01:04:26,821 --> 01:04:30,530
Kind of like this?
Then what do you do?
1283
01:04:30,825 --> 01:04:33,783
I kiss the back of her neck.
1284
01:04:38,041 --> 01:04:39,622
You know, in the movies,
1285
01:04:39,918 --> 01:04:41,198
sometimes they
lie down together,
1286
01:04:41,461 --> 01:04:43,918
like over by these rocks.
1287
01:04:45,256 --> 01:04:48,089
- I can't do this with you.
- Oh, come on.
1288
01:04:48,385 --> 01:04:49,385
Pretend I'm marvel Ann.
1289
01:04:49,427 --> 01:04:52,919
I mean, I don't want guys
to think I'm frigid.
1290
01:04:56,851 --> 01:05:00,685
I stroke her arm,
and she kisses my chest.
1291
01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:05,812
Then you take
your clothes off, right?
1292
01:05:06,111 --> 01:05:06,816
Uh-huh.
1293
01:05:07,112 --> 01:05:09,694
I caress her smooth,
satiny flesh.
1294
01:05:09,989 --> 01:05:11,320
It glows in the sunset.
1295
01:05:11,616 --> 01:05:15,700
She gently touches my muscles
with her fingertips.
1296
01:05:16,037 --> 01:05:19,404
She sinks to her knees
with a look of loving rapture.
1297
01:05:19,707 --> 01:05:22,119
My erect penis grazes her cheek.
1298
01:05:22,419 --> 01:05:25,286
She slides it in her mouth,
cupping my balls with one hand
1299
01:05:25,588 --> 01:05:27,544
and playing with my anus
with her finger.
1300
01:05:27,841 --> 01:05:28,841
Oh, god!
1301
01:05:28,883 --> 01:05:32,421
Chicklet! Chicklet, come back!
1302
01:05:39,352 --> 01:05:40,467
- Kanaka.
- Hold on, doctor.
1303
01:05:40,770 --> 01:05:41,872
I don't dig surprise visits.
1304
01:05:41,896 --> 01:05:43,082
I wanted to get here
before chicklet.
1305
01:05:43,106 --> 01:05:45,142
What's it to you?
She's not your chick.
1306
01:05:45,442 --> 01:05:46,932
She shouldn't be yours either.
1307
01:05:47,235 --> 01:05:48,645
She's only a kid.
1308
01:05:48,945 --> 01:05:49,945
That's all you know.
1309
01:05:50,238 --> 01:05:51,424
If you've laid a finger on her...
1310
01:05:51,448 --> 01:05:53,484
Hey, cool out.
I've never even touched her,
1311
01:05:53,783 --> 01:05:56,650
but let me tell you,
she is off the wall.
1312
01:05:56,953 --> 01:05:59,535
There is more to that chicklet
than meets the old eyeball.
1313
01:05:59,831 --> 01:06:03,039
There's, like,
two chicklets in one.
1314
01:06:03,334 --> 01:06:04,039
What are you talking about?
1315
01:06:04,335 --> 01:06:08,624
I know it's odd,
but she's like twins in one bod.
1316
01:06:09,340 --> 01:06:11,020
Are you saying
she has a split personality?
1317
01:06:11,092 --> 01:06:13,128
Split, one's an angel,
the other's a she-devil.
1318
01:06:13,428 --> 01:06:16,465
Calls herself Anne bowman,
and the screwy thing is
1319
01:06:16,764 --> 01:06:19,380
I can switch her off and on
like a flashlight.
1320
01:06:19,684 --> 01:06:24,303
So do you think this
Anne bowman could be violent?
1321
01:06:24,606 --> 01:06:26,312
You tell me.
1322
01:06:27,692 --> 01:06:31,105
I hope you put some bactine
on that scratch.
1323
01:06:31,404 --> 01:06:34,487
Kanaka, I hate to say this,
but I think our little chicklet
1324
01:06:34,782 --> 01:06:37,945
may be the butcher
of Malibu beach.
1325
01:06:40,163 --> 01:06:41,278
Chicklet, hi. Um...
1326
01:06:41,581 --> 01:06:43,117
We were just talking about you.
1327
01:06:43,416 --> 01:06:44,075
Checking up on me, huh?
1328
01:06:44,375 --> 01:06:46,741
Well, if it isn't
the Malibu branch of the CIA.
1329
01:06:47,045 --> 01:06:49,502
Chicklet,
I'm fixing up the place.
1330
01:06:49,797 --> 01:06:53,289
What do you think of my
new curtains, lots of circles?
1331
01:06:53,593 --> 01:06:57,962
I know how you dig
the crazy circles.
1332
01:06:58,264 --> 01:07:02,257
Starcat, this is the friend
I wanted you to meet.
1333
01:07:02,769 --> 01:07:04,680
You lousy son of a...
1334
01:07:05,522 --> 01:07:07,478
Oh, listen, guys, really...
1335
01:07:07,774 --> 01:07:09,639
Aw, now you've done it, man.
1336
01:07:09,943 --> 01:07:10,352
I've done it?
1337
01:07:10,652 --> 01:07:13,860
- Oh, what happened?
- Dear god!
1338
01:07:14,155 --> 01:07:14,735
Who the hell are you?
1339
01:07:15,031 --> 01:07:16,396
Mother, what are you doing here?
1340
01:07:16,699 --> 01:07:19,156
Your oboe recital was at 4:00.
1341
01:07:19,452 --> 01:07:20,032
Do you even care?
1342
01:07:20,328 --> 01:07:22,008
To track you down,
I've had to consort with
1343
01:07:22,205 --> 01:07:23,741
the lowest form of beach scum
1344
01:07:24,040 --> 01:07:26,326
only to find you here like this.
1345
01:07:26,626 --> 01:07:28,912
Uh, miss forrest,
you don't understand.
1346
01:07:29,212 --> 01:07:29,621
Indeed I do.
1347
01:07:29,921 --> 01:07:33,038
I believe this is what you
young people call a gangbang.
1348
01:07:33,341 --> 01:07:35,172
Mother, kanaka and starcat
are my friends.
1349
01:07:35,468 --> 01:07:36,862
Florence, dear,
please wait in the car.
1350
01:07:36,886 --> 01:07:39,172
- But mother...
- End of discussion.
1351
01:07:39,472 --> 01:07:41,838
Just get in the car.
1352
01:07:43,476 --> 01:07:45,967
I'll have you know
I fully intend to press charges.
1353
01:07:46,271 --> 01:07:49,229
You two had better find
a good lawyer because I'm going
1354
01:07:49,524 --> 01:07:52,891
to tear your peckers off
in that courtroom.
1355
01:07:56,322 --> 01:07:58,278
- Captain?
- Yes, cookie?
1356
01:07:58,575 --> 01:08:00,156
I just checked the plates
on that dodge.
1357
01:08:00,451 --> 01:08:04,069
It's registered
under the name Thor frestur,
1358
01:08:04,372 --> 01:08:04,986
mar vista, California.
1359
01:08:05,290 --> 01:08:09,408
Sounds phony, like an anagram.
1360
01:08:09,711 --> 01:08:10,826
Thor frestur.
1361
01:08:11,129 --> 01:08:14,337
Put the r before the s,
t in back of the e,
1362
01:08:14,632 --> 01:08:17,840
and you get Rose h. Toruf.
1363
01:08:18,136 --> 01:08:18,625
Hmm. Take the h,
1364
01:08:18,928 --> 01:08:23,137
move it back to the fourth spot,
the o to the last syllable,
1365
01:08:23,433 --> 01:08:25,094
Seth r. Roufort.
1366
01:08:25,393 --> 01:08:26,393
No, that's not it.
1367
01:08:26,477 --> 01:08:28,934
Put the r
back in the first slot,
1368
01:08:29,230 --> 01:08:31,141
the f at the top
of the last name,
1369
01:08:31,441 --> 01:08:33,227
and what have you got?
1370
01:08:33,526 --> 01:08:36,484
Mrs. Ruth forrest.
1371
01:08:45,330 --> 01:08:46,695
Good evening, Mrs. forrest.
1372
01:08:46,998 --> 01:08:49,159
Lars, look at you.
1373
01:08:49,459 --> 01:08:50,499
I'm on my way to the luau.
1374
01:08:50,543 --> 01:08:54,411
I wanted to ask you, my car
is still in the shop.
1375
01:08:54,714 --> 01:08:55,203
Might [...
1376
01:08:55,506 --> 01:08:58,373
Take the dodge any time.
I never use it.
1377
01:08:58,676 --> 01:09:00,166
Shall I wait
and give Florence a ride?
1378
01:09:00,470 --> 01:09:03,212
I have forbidden
her from attending.
1379
01:09:03,514 --> 01:09:04,173
I had no idea she'd been
1380
01:09:04,474 --> 01:09:06,931
palling around with
that disgusting beach trash.
1381
01:09:07,226 --> 01:09:10,935
Garbage like that oughta
be incinerated.
1382
01:09:11,230 --> 01:09:12,936
Oh, Lars, be a lamb?
1383
01:09:13,232 --> 01:09:14,722
Screw that light bulb
in overhead.
1384
01:09:15,026 --> 01:09:17,688
It's been flickering all night
and driving me batty.
1385
01:09:17,987 --> 01:09:19,523
But of course, Mrs. forrest.
1386
01:09:19,822 --> 01:09:23,110
Don't you think it's time
you called me ruthie?
1387
01:09:23,409 --> 01:09:24,409
On.
1388
01:09:24,577 --> 01:09:26,192
Climb up on that stool.
1389
01:09:26,496 --> 01:09:27,656
It should hold your weight.
1390
01:09:27,955 --> 01:09:30,947
You keep yourself so trim.
1391
01:09:31,501 --> 01:09:34,117
I owe you a cocktail
for this good turn.
1392
01:09:34,420 --> 01:09:36,411
Oh, I don't like
the hard liquor.
1393
01:09:36,714 --> 01:09:38,955
One little nip
ain't gonna kill ya.
1394
01:09:39,258 --> 01:09:42,876
Oh, damn it to hell.
1395
01:09:43,179 --> 01:09:46,922
Better soak this immediately.
1396
01:09:47,934 --> 01:09:52,678
Stool's a little wobbly.
Wouldn't want you to fall.
1397
01:09:52,980 --> 01:09:56,063
I think perhaps you require
the services of an electrician.
1398
01:09:56,359 --> 01:09:58,771
Baby, just screw
the goddamn bulb in the socket.
1399
01:09:59,070 --> 01:10:02,483
Mrs. forrest,
I've never seen you like this.
1400
01:10:02,782 --> 01:10:04,022
This is not you.
1401
01:10:04,325 --> 01:10:07,442
No, this is not you at all.
1402
01:12:09,242 --> 01:12:10,732
How the heck
did you get up here?
1403
01:12:11,035 --> 01:12:12,366
The wonders of literature.
1404
01:12:12,662 --> 01:12:15,745
To Everest and beyond:
Mountain climbing made easy.
1405
01:12:16,040 --> 01:12:19,032
We are going to that luau.
1406
01:12:21,045 --> 01:12:21,625
Marvel Ann.
1407
01:12:21,921 --> 01:12:23,627
I knew you'd come crawling back.
1408
01:12:23,923 --> 01:12:25,484
I'm looking for chicklet.
Have you seen her?
1409
01:12:25,508 --> 01:12:30,298
Yeah, she's in the bottom
of this glass.
1410
01:12:35,226 --> 01:12:36,466
- Bettina?
- Hmm?
1411
01:12:36,769 --> 01:12:37,349
Have you seen chicklet?
1412
01:12:37,645 --> 01:12:39,010
Oh, no, come to think of it,
1413
01:12:39,313 --> 01:12:40,313
I haven't seen her.
1414
01:12:40,565 --> 01:12:40,974
Oh, but starcat,
1415
01:12:41,274 --> 01:12:42,810
I want you to meet
my new friend.
1416
01:12:43,109 --> 01:12:45,475
This is Joey. He's deaf.
1417
01:12:45,778 --> 01:12:49,487
Oh, and look, he has 11 fingers.
1418
01:12:49,782 --> 01:12:50,862
Isn't that cute?
1419
01:12:53,369 --> 01:12:56,156
Poor sucker.
Doesn't stand a chance in hell.
1420
01:12:56,455 --> 01:12:58,616
J the tallest waves j
1421
01:12:58,916 --> 01:13:01,532
j into outer space ~
1422
01:13:03,421 --> 01:13:03,910
nothing's copacetic.
1423
01:13:04,213 --> 01:13:06,829
The poi's overcooked,
I see no lychee nuts.
1424
01:13:07,133 --> 01:13:07,713
I ordered lychee nuts,
1425
01:13:08,009 --> 01:13:09,169
and the pineapple's gone bad.
1426
01:13:09,343 --> 01:13:11,504
You can't make a pu pu platter
without pineapple.
1427
01:13:11,804 --> 01:13:14,011
Pull yourself together,
provoloney.
1428
01:13:14,307 --> 01:13:16,047
You're at the breaking point.
1429
01:13:16,350 --> 01:13:19,012
I can't take the pressure.
1430
01:13:24,108 --> 01:13:26,019
Oh, shit.
1431
01:13:26,319 --> 01:13:29,436
My insides are finally moving.
1432
01:13:30,990 --> 01:13:31,570
I really got to go.
1433
01:13:31,866 --> 01:13:34,824
Do what you got to do, man,
and don't forget:
1434
01:13:35,119 --> 01:13:39,738
When you get back,
I'll be waiting for you.
1435
01:13:40,041 --> 01:13:43,124
Yo yo, you're the greatest.
1436
01:13:59,769 --> 01:14:02,932
Chicklet, wow.
1437
01:14:03,230 --> 01:14:04,470
You look so...
1438
01:14:04,774 --> 01:14:06,230
Glamorous?
1439
01:14:06,525 --> 01:14:08,186
Sophisticated?
1440
01:14:08,486 --> 01:14:10,147
- Scrumptious?
- Yeah.
1441
01:14:10,446 --> 01:14:13,108
Look, I don't know
how to say this,
1442
01:14:13,407 --> 01:14:14,817
but you shouldn't be here.
1443
01:14:15,117 --> 01:14:17,403
- Oh, I get the picture.
- You do?
1444
01:14:17,703 --> 01:14:18,722
Now that marvel Ann's here,
1445
01:14:18,746 --> 01:14:21,112
I'm back to being
Lassie to your Timmy.
1446
01:14:21,415 --> 01:14:21,870
Now, get this.
1447
01:14:22,166 --> 01:14:23,747
I'm gonna be the life
of this luau,
1448
01:14:24,043 --> 01:14:27,160
and if anyone tries to stop me,
I'll...
1449
01:14:27,463 --> 01:14:29,579
I'l kill them.
1450
01:14:33,177 --> 01:14:40,800
Selacs a
1451
01:14:41,102 --> 01:14:43,684
- hello.
- Hello.
1452
01:14:46,357 --> 01:14:49,440
Kanaka, what gives?
You know those characters?
1453
01:14:49,735 --> 01:14:51,055
I've had the displeasure.
1454
01:14:51,237 --> 01:14:52,727
Wedge Riley's
out of the big house,
1455
01:14:53,030 --> 01:14:54,691
and the coroner's hurting
for slabs.
1456
01:14:54,991 --> 01:14:58,108
I wonder if the two
could be related.
1457
01:14:58,411 --> 01:15:00,993
Looks like they
want to start something.
1458
01:15:01,288 --> 01:15:04,701
This started a long time ago.
1459
01:15:06,168 --> 01:15:07,168
Wedge Riley.
1460
01:15:07,420 --> 01:15:10,412
So what brings you
to our nocturnal celebration?
1461
01:15:10,715 --> 01:15:13,752
Just a friendly visit.
No need for confrontation.
1462
01:15:14,051 --> 01:15:16,133
Wedge, old man,
I appreciate the wit,
1463
01:15:16,429 --> 01:15:19,216
but from trash like you
I take no shit.
1464
01:15:19,515 --> 01:15:21,005
Cool, daddy-o, cool.
1465
01:15:21,308 --> 01:15:22,388
Over this domain you rule,
1466
01:15:22,685 --> 01:15:24,425
but let me give you
some good advice:
1467
01:15:24,729 --> 01:15:28,221
To honor king Neptune
you need a virgin sacrifice.
1468
01:15:28,524 --> 01:15:30,105
Virgin sacrifice?
What the hell's that?
1469
01:15:30,401 --> 01:15:32,938
An ancient ritual
started in del mar in '62.
1470
01:15:33,237 --> 01:15:33,851
Forget it, wedge.
1471
01:15:34,155 --> 01:15:36,612
Well, what happens
to the virgin sacrifice?
1472
01:15:36,907 --> 01:15:38,317
I mean, what do you do to her?
1473
01:15:38,617 --> 01:15:39,697
You shouldn't even be here.
1474
01:15:39,952 --> 01:15:42,989
There you go, treating me
like a pipsqueak again.
1475
01:15:43,289 --> 01:15:44,409
We were gonna do the ritual,
1476
01:15:44,498 --> 01:15:46,534
but it turns
out we don't got no virgins.
1477
01:15:46,834 --> 01:15:49,667
Well, I'll do it.
I mean, I'm your man...
1478
01:15:49,962 --> 01:15:51,623
I mean, your virgin.
1479
01:15:51,922 --> 01:15:53,128
Ooh, yeah,
1480
01:15:53,424 --> 01:15:57,133
fresh as a salad
out of the fridge.
1481
01:15:57,428 --> 01:15:58,133
You'll do nicely.
1482
01:15:58,429 --> 01:16:00,715
- I won't let you.
- Please, chicklet, don't.
1483
01:16:01,015 --> 01:16:02,880
It's an existential fate
worse than death.
1484
01:16:03,184 --> 01:16:07,678
You gonna let your pals spoil
a night you'll never forget?
1485
01:16:09,190 --> 01:16:12,057
Let the ritual begin.
1486
01:16:12,401 --> 01:16:13,766
I do have a few conditions,
though.
1487
01:16:14,070 --> 01:16:17,062
I mean, first of all,
no blindfolds.
1488
01:16:19,617 --> 01:16:22,029
What's going on back there?
1489
01:16:25,247 --> 01:16:26,247
Hey, is that chicklet?
1490
01:16:26,290 --> 01:16:29,782
She's got more garnish on her
than my grandma's antipasto.
1491
01:16:30,086 --> 01:16:31,622
Oh, at least she has clothes on.
1492
01:16:31,921 --> 01:16:35,379
That's more
than I got back in altoona.
1493
01:16:36,300 --> 01:16:40,464
King Neptune, to you
we offer the ring of fate.
1494
01:16:40,763 --> 01:16:43,721
In other words,
scumbags, form a circle!
1495
01:16:45,059 --> 01:16:46,328
No circles. That... that...
1496
01:16:46,352 --> 01:16:50,015
That's not the way
we do things around here.
1497
01:16:54,443 --> 01:16:57,276
Dance, fools, dance.
1498
01:16:57,571 --> 01:16:59,232
That ain't the way
a virgin should act.
1499
01:16:59,532 --> 01:17:00,692
Kiss my ass, flunky.
1500
01:17:00,991 --> 01:17:02,010
I'm calling the shots now.
1501
01:17:02,034 --> 01:17:05,743
Put me down
from this thing, now!
1502
01:17:06,038 --> 01:17:07,038
Where's my whip?
1503
01:17:07,081 --> 01:17:08,412
Who's got my goddamn whip?
1504
01:17:08,707 --> 01:17:10,307
Now chicklet's gonna
do some impressions.
1505
01:17:10,417 --> 01:17:15,081
- Do your zsa-zsa.
- I warned you not to touch me.
1506
01:17:15,464 --> 01:17:19,298
- That's one flaked-out chick.
- I'm not mere chick.
1507
01:17:19,593 --> 01:17:20,127
I'm a goddess,
1508
01:17:20,427 --> 01:17:24,670
and the first thing I'm gonna
sacrifice are your balls, Sonny.
1509
01:17:26,892 --> 01:17:31,056
There! Officers,
those men seduced my daughter.
1510
01:17:31,355 --> 01:17:32,765
Your daughter is mentally ill.
1511
01:17:33,065 --> 01:17:34,930
She's not sick. She's not sick!
1512
01:17:35,234 --> 01:17:36,234
It's true!
1513
01:17:36,402 --> 01:17:40,111
I'm hardly the lunatic
you're painting me to be.
1514
01:17:40,406 --> 01:17:41,406
I'm utterly in control.
1515
01:17:41,574 --> 01:17:43,530
You're merely a delusion
of chicklet forrest
1516
01:17:43,826 --> 01:17:46,317
that enables her to express
anger and rage.
1517
01:17:46,620 --> 01:17:49,407
Fancy phrases and a big basket.
1518
01:17:49,707 --> 01:17:51,413
I'm gonna place
you under hypnosis,
1519
01:17:51,709 --> 01:17:53,509
and we're gonna get
to the root of the trauma,
1520
01:17:53,669 --> 01:17:55,580
the guilt complex that
fragmented
1521
01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:56,585
chicklet's personality.
1522
01:17:56,881 --> 01:17:57,899
I can't allow this.
1523
01:17:57,923 --> 01:17:59,317
He doesn't even know
what he's doing.
1524
01:17:59,341 --> 01:18:01,301
He's had three semesters
of psych at Northwestern.
1525
01:18:01,427 --> 01:18:03,418
It's either that
or an ice pick lobotomy.
1526
01:18:03,721 --> 01:18:06,588
Starcat, proceed.
1527
01:18:07,266 --> 01:18:10,554
You're feeling tired, drowsy.
1528
01:18:10,853 --> 01:18:12,434
You can't keep your eyes open.
1529
01:18:12,730 --> 01:18:14,721
Oh, someone stop this madness.
1530
01:18:15,024 --> 01:18:16,355
Oh, shut your hole.
1531
01:18:16,650 --> 01:18:18,732
Go on, darling doctor starcat.
1532
01:18:19,028 --> 01:18:21,644
I want to talk to chicklet.
1533
01:18:22,531 --> 01:18:24,317
It's hard.
1534
01:18:24,617 --> 01:18:26,983
I feel so far away.
1535
01:18:28,329 --> 01:18:30,285
I can't... travel
down the Hollywood freeway.
1536
01:18:30,581 --> 01:18:31,701
Be prepared for stop-and-go-
1537
01:18:40,132 --> 01:18:41,747
What's going on?
1538
01:18:42,051 --> 01:18:43,962
It's a bad connection.
1539
01:18:44,261 --> 01:18:44,750
Help me.
1540
01:18:45,054 --> 01:18:46,885
- Chicklet, is that you?
- Uh-huh.
1541
01:18:47,181 --> 01:18:49,467
- How old are you?
- 71/2.
1542
01:18:49,767 --> 01:18:53,305
- I don't like this place.
- Where are you?
1543
01:18:53,604 --> 01:18:54,844
The hotel.
1544
01:18:56,857 --> 01:18:59,314
Oh, well, look who's here.
1545
01:18:59,610 --> 01:19:00,770
We've got visitors.
1546
01:19:01,070 --> 01:19:03,482
Curtsy, Florence,
like I taught you.
1547
01:19:03,781 --> 01:19:05,988
Mama, we're ready
to go to the movies.
1548
01:19:06,283 --> 01:19:09,025
Oh, darlings, I'm so sorry.
1549
01:19:09,328 --> 01:19:11,944
We're gonna
have to skip the picture.
1550
01:19:12,248 --> 01:19:13,533
But you promised.
1551
01:19:13,832 --> 01:19:15,663
Well, mother's got
to do her part
1552
01:19:15,960 --> 01:19:17,416
for the boys
serving our country.
1553
01:19:17,711 --> 01:19:21,078
Why don't you and Frankie
go sit in the living room
1554
01:19:21,382 --> 01:19:24,169
and listen to the radio?
1555
01:19:25,302 --> 01:19:28,715
Sugar,
I don't even know your name.
1556
01:19:29,014 --> 01:19:33,474
Oh, pleased to meet you, Johnny.
1557
01:19:33,852 --> 01:19:36,935
I'm Anne, Anne bowman.
1558
01:19:37,231 --> 01:19:40,644
I was so angry.
I wanted to hurt her.
1559
01:19:40,943 --> 01:19:44,652
I took Frankie to the playground
across the street.
1560
01:19:44,947 --> 01:19:46,027
Please don't make me go on.
1561
01:19:46,323 --> 01:19:48,814
You got to. What happened next?
1562
01:19:49,118 --> 01:19:52,702
He kept asking me
to push him harder and harder
1563
01:19:52,997 --> 01:19:55,830
until he was soaring
into the clouds.
1564
01:19:56,125 --> 01:19:57,125
Then he said,
1565
01:19:57,251 --> 01:19:59,913
"make me go round the world."
1566
01:20:01,797 --> 01:20:03,958
Aah!
1567
01:20:05,676 --> 01:20:07,462
No!
1568
01:20:07,761 --> 01:20:11,049
I did it, I did it,
I killed him!
1569
01:20:11,348 --> 01:20:12,554
It was my fault.
1570
01:20:12,850 --> 01:20:14,761
When Florence lost her memory
1571
01:20:15,060 --> 01:20:16,516
I took it as
a blessing from god.
1572
01:20:16,812 --> 01:20:19,394
I vowed to create
a better life for us.
1573
01:20:19,690 --> 01:20:22,272
I changed my name,
I moved to a new city.
1574
01:20:22,568 --> 01:20:25,150
- Oh, mother, hold me.
- Darling.
1575
01:20:25,446 --> 01:20:30,315
That's the most exciting
story idea I've heard in years.
1576
01:20:30,617 --> 01:20:33,654
This is the project
that could showcase my talent
1577
01:20:33,954 --> 01:20:35,444
as a great dramatic actress.
1578
01:20:35,748 --> 01:20:36,112
Story?
1579
01:20:36,415 --> 01:20:38,872
A surfer chick
with a split personality.
1580
01:20:39,168 --> 01:20:40,783
Oh, I can see a hit
Broadway play,
1581
01:20:41,086 --> 01:20:42,355
and we'll sort out
the movie rights.
1582
01:20:42,379 --> 01:20:44,995
Honey, I want to option
this property, and believe me,
1583
01:20:45,299 --> 01:20:45,958
I'll pay top dollar.
1584
01:20:46,258 --> 01:20:47,819
Bettina, do you think
you're ready to tackle
1585
01:20:47,843 --> 01:20:52,883
- such a complex role?
- I don't think, I feel.
1586
01:20:53,182 --> 01:20:54,843
I know this girl.
1587
01:20:55,142 --> 01:20:56,928
I am chicklet.
1588
01:20:57,227 --> 01:20:59,013
I hate to miss
your opening night,
1589
01:20:59,313 --> 01:21:02,055
but I'll be in a loony bin
for the criminally cuckoo.
1590
01:21:02,358 --> 01:21:04,565
- Oh, no.
- Not so fast, chicklet.
1591
01:21:04,860 --> 01:21:08,068
I wouldn't model
that straightjacket just yet.
1592
01:21:12,534 --> 01:21:15,150
Someone so tormented
for being an outsider
1593
01:21:15,454 --> 01:21:18,742
that she's compelled to destroy
others who don't fit in.
1594
01:21:19,041 --> 01:21:22,659
Mrs. forrest,
you're under arrest.
1595
01:21:22,961 --> 01:21:24,326
Oh, no! It can't be!
1596
01:21:24,630 --> 01:21:27,622
What are you doing?
This is a dreadful mistake.
1597
01:21:27,925 --> 01:21:29,961
Come on, sister,
you're going places.
1598
01:21:30,260 --> 01:21:33,923
Get your hands off me.
I'm innocent, I tell you!
1599
01:21:34,223 --> 01:21:34,678
I'm innocent!
1600
01:21:34,973 --> 01:21:36,964
All right,
cut her off at the pits.
1601
01:21:37,267 --> 01:21:38,267
Let me go.
1602
01:21:38,394 --> 01:21:40,385
No, I'm not moving.
1603
01:21:40,687 --> 01:21:42,803
Just try and make me, pig-woman!
1604
01:21:43,107 --> 01:21:45,849
Lady, you are
getting me steamed!
1605
01:21:46,151 --> 01:21:47,391
Oh, please don't hurt her!
1606
01:21:47,694 --> 01:21:49,104
You'll never get away with this,
1607
01:21:49,405 --> 01:21:53,148
motherfucking cocksuckers!
1608
01:21:54,368 --> 01:21:58,156
My mother, a murderess?
1609
01:21:58,455 --> 01:22:00,696
What next?
1610
01:22:01,792 --> 01:22:05,159
Oh, berdine, did I hurt you?
1611
01:22:05,462 --> 01:22:06,462
I'm so sorry.
1612
01:22:06,630 --> 01:22:08,666
Oh, I thought by
making excuses for you
1613
01:22:08,966 --> 01:22:10,957
I was being a best friend.
1614
01:22:11,260 --> 01:22:13,376
I should have gotten you help.
1615
01:22:13,679 --> 01:22:16,386
I stink rotten eggs.
1616
01:22:20,519 --> 01:22:22,976
We've got to get
both of you home.
1617
01:22:23,272 --> 01:22:25,183
Actually...
1618
01:22:25,482 --> 01:22:29,020
I think I'd like
to stay a little longer.
1619
01:22:29,319 --> 01:22:31,856
I can take Florence home.
1620
01:22:32,156 --> 01:22:32,520
Oh, Lars,
1621
01:22:32,823 --> 01:22:35,781
you sure picked one heck
of an American family
1622
01:22:36,076 --> 01:22:37,486
to shack up with.
1623
01:22:37,786 --> 01:22:40,152
I'm not worried.
1624
01:22:43,125 --> 01:22:45,241
How can I ever thank you?
1625
01:22:45,544 --> 01:22:48,957
Well, you just being chicklet
again's all the thanks I need,
1626
01:22:49,256 --> 01:22:51,417
and believe me, one's enough.
1627
01:22:54,094 --> 01:22:55,925
Shall we go?
1628
01:23:16,241 --> 01:23:16,946
Florence,
1629
01:23:17,242 --> 01:23:20,575
this must be the worst thing
that's ever happened to you.
1630
01:23:20,871 --> 01:23:23,578
It's definitely up there
in the top ten.
1631
01:23:23,874 --> 01:23:27,162
Your mother
couldn't help herself.
1632
01:23:27,461 --> 01:23:28,461
In her own way,
1633
01:23:28,587 --> 01:23:33,126
she believed she was saving
those poor, sick people.
1634
01:23:33,425 --> 01:23:34,130
If you don't mind,
1635
01:23:34,426 --> 01:23:37,714
I'm not really in the mood
for conversation right now.
1636
01:23:38,013 --> 01:23:40,971
I understand completely.
1637
01:23:43,352 --> 01:23:44,933
Still, I was surprised
1638
01:23:45,229 --> 01:23:48,642
to learn of your deep
psychological problems.
1639
01:23:48,941 --> 01:23:49,555
I always thought of you
1640
01:23:49,858 --> 01:23:53,066
as a well-adjusted typical
American girl.
1641
01:23:53,362 --> 01:23:55,648
Almost boring, really.
1642
01:23:55,948 --> 01:23:57,438
I'm sorry to disappoint you.
1643
01:23:57,741 --> 01:24:00,278
There is so much ugliness
in the world.
1644
01:24:00,577 --> 01:24:05,617
Can't there be anyone
who is utterly perfect?
1645
01:24:08,210 --> 01:24:11,998
Gee, all those revelations
today have made me famished.
1646
01:24:12,297 --> 01:24:15,960
How's about stopping over there
for a quick bite?
1647
01:24:16,260 --> 01:24:18,797
I think not.
1648
01:24:20,305 --> 01:24:21,745
Psychologically
it just doesn't jive.
1649
01:24:22,015 --> 01:24:25,257
- It can't be Mrs. forrest.
- Hmm. Poor chicklet.
1650
01:24:25,561 --> 01:24:26,801
Well, at least she's not alone.
1651
01:24:26,853 --> 01:24:30,766
It's a good thing
she has Lars with her, huh?
1652
01:24:31,525 --> 01:24:32,525
Yeah, Lars.
1653
01:24:32,776 --> 01:24:35,142
Bettina, do you still have
that photo of the elkins family?
1654
01:24:35,445 --> 01:24:38,107
Well, you mean the ones
who were murdered?
1655
01:24:38,407 --> 01:24:41,365
I put it in the credenza.
1656
01:24:50,711 --> 01:24:53,077
Starcat, what are you doing?
1657
01:25:34,671 --> 01:25:37,788
Why are you
running away from me?
1658
01:25:38,091 --> 01:25:40,798
I only want to help you!
1659
01:25:51,271 --> 01:25:52,351
Could you pass the mustard?
1660
01:25:52,439 --> 01:25:55,306
Lars, what happened
to your accent?
1661
01:25:55,609 --> 01:25:59,978
I don't need it.
I can finally be myself.
1662
01:26:00,656 --> 01:26:04,023
- Call me Larry.
- As in elkins?
1663
01:26:04,326 --> 01:26:04,781
Pleased to meet you.
1664
01:26:05,077 --> 01:26:06,738
Unfortunately,
this is also good-bye.
1665
01:26:07,037 --> 01:26:09,244
- You best be backing off.
- Huh?
1666
01:26:09,539 --> 01:26:12,121
You a nut. Give me that knife.
1667
01:26:12,417 --> 01:26:14,282
I'm axing you nicely,
give me that thang.
1668
01:26:14,586 --> 01:26:15,706
Oh, I'll give you the knife.
1669
01:26:15,921 --> 01:26:18,913
You going, down, fuckface.
1670
01:26:22,761 --> 01:26:23,295
Criminy.
1671
01:26:23,595 --> 01:26:28,009
There's the dodge.
They must be in the drive-in.
1672
01:26:40,946 --> 01:26:42,561
How could you do
that to your own family?
1673
01:26:42,864 --> 01:26:44,195
You're just like all the others.
1674
01:26:44,491 --> 01:26:46,322
- No one understands.
- Try me.
1675
01:26:46,618 --> 01:26:47,653
I can be very perceptive.
1676
01:26:47,953 --> 01:26:48,658
You can't possibly imagine
1677
01:26:48,954 --> 01:26:51,195
what it's like to grow up
in a house of freaks.
1678
01:26:51,498 --> 01:26:54,410
My mother was blind,
my father was deaf,
1679
01:26:54,710 --> 01:26:56,496
and my sisters were midgets.
1680
01:26:56,795 --> 01:26:59,252
They had to die
so I could be free.
1681
01:26:59,548 --> 01:27:00,003
So why kill me?
1682
01:27:00,298 --> 01:27:02,914
I'm your pal. I'm the one
who fixed your pants.
1683
01:27:03,218 --> 01:27:07,336
And now I'm gonna fix you.
1684
01:27:40,797 --> 01:27:43,413
Look, up there!
1685
01:28:00,609 --> 01:28:02,224
Alone at last.
1686
01:28:02,527 --> 01:28:04,688
Larry, please, don't.
1687
01:28:06,490 --> 01:28:12,201
I've got you now,
just the way I want you.
1688
01:28:12,496 --> 01:28:15,408
You pathetic little worm.
1689
01:28:15,707 --> 01:28:18,824
- No man conquers Anne bowman.
- What?
1690
01:28:20,170 --> 01:28:22,957
You're weak. You disgust me.
1691
01:28:23,256 --> 01:28:25,497
You like being humiliated,
don't you?
1692
01:28:25,801 --> 01:28:28,213
Help me. Chicklet!
1693
01:28:28,512 --> 01:28:30,343
Starcat?
1694
01:28:30,639 --> 01:28:34,507
The bitch is gone,
and now so are you.
1695
01:28:36,520 --> 01:28:38,886
Put down the knife.
1696
01:28:39,189 --> 01:28:40,349
Make me.
1697
01:28:47,656 --> 01:28:50,318
Poor Larry.
1698
01:28:50,617 --> 01:28:53,575
That's the end of that.
1699
01:29:06,132 --> 01:29:10,501
The circle goes round,
but I'm still me.
1700
01:29:10,804 --> 01:29:12,590
You're cured.
1701
01:29:19,145 --> 01:29:20,351
I remember that grip.
1702
01:29:20,647 --> 01:29:25,141
- Feels good?
- Mmm, it feels real good.
1703
01:29:26,987 --> 01:29:28,773
Want to wrestle?
1704
01:29:29,072 --> 01:29:30,903
For the championship.
1705
01:29:31,199 --> 01:29:34,282
Let's get out of here.
1706
01:29:39,124 --> 01:29:43,663
Boy, there sure are a lot
of twisted souls out there.
1707
01:29:44,296 --> 01:29:46,207
Maybe I should become
a psychiatrist.
1708
01:29:46,506 --> 01:29:47,916
You'd be tops.
1709
01:29:48,216 --> 01:29:49,331
I'm proof of that.
1710
01:29:49,634 --> 01:29:51,625
I'd have to go back to school.
1711
01:29:51,928 --> 01:29:54,340
Leave everything behind.
1712
01:29:54,639 --> 01:29:56,595
Not everything.
1713
01:29:56,892 --> 01:29:59,634
Chicklet, I was wondering,
1714
01:30:02,230 --> 01:30:04,266
will I ever?
1715
01:30:13,408 --> 01:30:14,408
Florence?
1716
01:30:14,451 --> 01:30:17,193
Florence? Florence, wake up.
1717
01:30:17,495 --> 01:30:18,495
Wake up.
1718
01:30:18,705 --> 01:30:21,697
You got to get up.
1719
01:30:22,000 --> 01:30:23,865
I must have been dreaming.
1720
01:30:24,169 --> 01:30:27,832
It's time for your treatment.
1721
01:30:28,131 --> 01:30:30,122
Ready?
1722
01:30:45,857 --> 01:30:49,224
You were in my dream.
1723
01:30:49,527 --> 01:30:51,688
- And you were there.
- Mm-hmm.
1724
01:30:51,988 --> 01:30:54,070
- Bite.
- And you.
1725
01:30:54,366 --> 01:30:58,735
We dream many foolish things
when we're ill.
1726
01:31:00,997 --> 01:31:01,997
Kisses.
1727
01:31:14,678 --> 01:31:16,669
So it was all her dream?
1728
01:31:16,972 --> 01:31:17,381
What a gyp.
1729
01:31:17,681 --> 01:31:19,467
Well, it's based
on a true story.
1730
01:31:19,766 --> 01:31:22,473
I'm just glad that
creepy Anne bowman
1731
01:31:22,769 --> 01:31:24,179
is locked up for good.
1732
01:31:24,479 --> 01:31:26,015
Don't be so sure, darlings.
1733
01:31:40,328 --> 01:31:42,785
J p-s-y-c-h-o0, psycho j
1734
01:31:43,081 --> 01:31:46,039
j p-s-y-c-h-o0, psycho j
1735
01:31:47,669 --> 01:31:51,708
j there was a crazy
beach party that was underway j
1736
01:31:53,174 --> 01:31:57,383
j with lots of rocking
teenagers from the usa 2
1737
01:31:58,555 --> 01:32:02,889
j they planed to romp
and stomp till broad daylight
1738
01:32:04,102 --> 01:32:05,582
j but there was something
in the air j
1739
01:32:05,687 --> 01:32:08,929
j that something
wasn't quite right j
1740
01:32:09,816 --> 01:32:12,478
j if I sing anymore,
I might give it away j
1741
01:32:12,777 --> 01:32:15,985
j it was a psycho
beach party in the usa»
1742
01:32:16,281 --> 01:32:18,647
j p-s-y-c-h-o0, psycho j
1743
01:32:18,950 --> 01:32:22,408
j p-s-y-c-h-o, psycho j;
1744
01:32:26,332 --> 01:32:27,697
js yeah
1745
01:32:41,473 --> 01:32:43,304
> Ooh jt
1746
01:33:31,064 --> 01:33:33,726
J p-s-y-c-h-o, psycho j;
1747
01:33:34,025 --> 01:33:37,392
j p-s-y-c-h-o, psycho j;
119530
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