Original subtitles

First new message.

Hey Blaise it's Ferhan speaking.

Thank you so much for getting back to my

application to join your project Rainbow Films.

I just wondered if it would be possible to meet

with you tomorrow.

I know you're going to be in Birmingham to film the

anti-LGBT protests.

As it happens I'm gonna to be there as well.

So I wondered if maybe we could just connect while

we're both there and talk a little bit about the

project.

And maybe you can find out a little bit about

what I'm about too.

Your message will be saved for seven days.

When I see my sisters leave the school

and come to me and cry

and say we are sending our most prized possession

into a school where they are messing with our

children's heads.

I will not sit back.

I don't know about none of you but I

will not sit back and I urge you to stand with me

every single time we protest.

Let kids.

Be kids.

Let kids.

Be kids.

Listen to

parents.

Listen to

parents.

Listen to

parents.

Listen to

parents.

We will not

step down.

We will not

step down.

Don't engage with him.

Why not? Why can't you engage with me?

He's an Islamophobe that's why.

I'm not an Islamophobe.

How can I be an Islamophobe of I'm a

Muslim?

Alright OK would you like your son to be gay?

Well it's not really for me to decide whether he's gay

or straight.

He is I know he is.

You are gay?

You are gay?

Are you asking me if I'm gay?

I say you are gay?

Well why do you want to know?

Look like look like.

Because you talking. You talking in woman and gay.

Are you gay?

Keep away keep away.

I love this jacket.

This jacket looks amazing.

Amazeballs.

You will not see homophobic abuse from us

to any

individual of the LGBT community or the

community -

With all due respect you don't get to decide who

is homophobic and or not.

With all due respect -

Our children

Our right.

I'm a queer Muslim activist and I'm here to

observe the protests and try to

provide a counter narrative as a queer

Muslim to be visible as a Muslim and say actually,

there's nothing in the faith that compels you to

be homophobic.

Only LGBTQ community can decide who is homophobic

and who isn't.

Look in this country in this country,

they can't even define what Islamophobia is.

They keep saying oooh no that's not what we're

teaching. Oooh no.

Well what's this?

What's this?

It's out of your books.

And there are some things on there that are so

shameful I struggle to put them up because I'll

myself in disrepute but the people in that school

don't feel sensitivity towards it.

Shakeel quick flashes, quick flashes, that's all

we can do.

Because there are paedophiles in there

There are paedophiles in there.

I can't put half of it up.

Give it us here.

There are paedophiles in there.

This is a paedophilia agenda.

People just genuinely want to have their voice heard.

I think it's a shame that they have to shout about

it on a megaphone and do it this way,

but they just seem to want to have their voice

heard.

Where you from?

Rainbow Films.

Don't worry about them.

I'm gonna do a little interview with you. So

you you're concerned about some of the

materials being shown to kids.

Yeah? Erm.

And you're gonna show me some of the materials

that they're showing it.

Definitely.

Okay so what about this one?

First of all, what we've got here?

We've got Heather has two Mummies.

What's wrong with that?

Men love men. Okay fine.

Men love men. Fine.

Women love women fine. Oh, I feel bisexual

okay I'll still look like a yoyo, fine.

What about transgender?

What are you telling our children?

That a boy can be a girl?

Are you a boy or a girl?

So let's talk about -

I'm actually gender non-binary.

I don't care what you are it doesn't matter about

what you are or what I am.

Our children and they grew up in our

households and we don't it's not about you.

This is a problem isn't it?

All of this is very subjective for you.

You whole life is about you.

Your whole life is subjective. It's how you

see things.

And this is we have an objective viewpoint -

Can we have a look at some more of them.

There's no need just stay on that one.

Right do you know what? There's nothing wrong

with this one.

What do you means there's nothing wrong with it?

This is where it's all at.

Are you a boy or a girl what's the big deal -

Right can I have a look at some more please?

No, no, no, no.

Why not?

I'll tell you why. Because there's

a

school down in Slough. There's another -

Right -

Can I just have a -

Can I -

Can I have these

please or otherwise I'm not doing this.

Can I just say -

No no give me these -

No I want to look at the other ones.

It was to just do this one, I want to do

transgender.

Our children are not transgender they're only

four and five.

Can I have a look at the other one.

They belong to him.

Well then how am I supposed to discuss them

if he's not gonna show me them.

This discussion needs to be around them.

Right so let's see some more.

No. The discussion needs to be -

Can I have a look at the other ones please?

And I have to say well a child of four or five

doesn't know his own sexuality

he doesn't know the word sex.

So I think that the passion that the

protesters are showing all comes from nothing

more than deep homophobia.

You should be representing the parents.

Mum why you having a debate?

Ooh mum. Is that your mum?

Can I have a picture with all of you?

No, no, no, thank you.

Shame on you own during Ramadan.

What what?

Move from my face.

That's not -

Why well.

Shame on you.

She asked him. She asked him for his opinion.

No no no.

Aunty asked him for his opinion.

Aunty asked me.

Unfortunately I've got a - I made, listen guys.

Just to clarify I made a video with this man and I

spoke to him very politely but you know

what he did?

He posted all the videos on his YouTube except for

mine.

Why? Because he's he's he's vile arrogant bigot.

Don't talk to him.

I didn't have time.

I didn't have time to do your video

Right anyway right let's let's do our video.

You're gonna be accountable.

You're gonna be accountable.

Can I - sorry can I just do this interview please.

No we don't like this silly business. Have you

got children here?

No. Then why you here for? Huh?

Can I just do my interview please?

No no.

Just go away from here. You're not wanted here.

You're the devils game.

Shameful shameful.

Which one of you here has ever protested at the

Birmingham Gay Pride event?

None of us. None of us.

Yet we have an LGBT member who wants to come

and try to make out we are homophobic.

We will protest and protest and protest

the same way our brothers and

sisters around the world take bombs after bombs

after bombs after bombs.

We will protest and protest.

Even if till my hair goes white.

I'll carry on protesting.

Everybody has the right to protest, but we have

the right to show them how to protest.

And no protest in the city does it as

colourfully as we do.

A few years ago Birmingham Pride

helped to fund a project that at the time we knew

very little about.

And it was called 'No Outsiders'.

Little did we know how important and significant

it would be this Pride weekend.

And our protest this weekend is one of

tolerance and equality and togetherness and love

and acceptance.

And that our relationships are as

important as yours.

And the person who put all that into a book and

it formed part of

the national curriculum was a guy called

Andrew Moffitt.

And Andrew Moffitt will be leading our parade

today alongside for the first

time in our history two members of the LGBTQ

Muslim community because we're walking together.

This is what I want my children in my school

to see because

this is Birmingham, not the protests.

This is Birmingham, looking around me now I

can see different skin,

different religions, different faiths,

disabilities, LGBTQ+ and it works.

Celebrate Birmingham today remember wherever you

are whoever you are there are 'No Outsiders' here.

You need a wristband sir!

Excuse me you need a wristband.

Don't misgender me because I'm not -

don't touch me.

Don't touch me.

Whoa whoa whoa.

What are you doing?

Look what he's doing to me.

This is how they treat people.

Look at them.

Look at the way they treat me.

Look at the way they treat me.

Let go.

Calm down.

Let go of me.

Get off.

You can't let them do this.

So Rainbow Films is a project that was born out

of a discussion that I had with

some of our previous participants in some

shape or form every single person

in that conversation had been a victim of a hate

crime like I myself have

numerous times been attacked, I had a bottle

smashed in my face. I've been

stamped by rude boys in a nightclub literally

stamping on my head because I got

in the way of them arguing with someone and

then they were like shut the

fuck up you batty boy and I got bottled across the

head and then stamped on the face.

For that kid like me feeling intimidated,

pestered, harassed by people just

because they are who they are, you are not alone.

And just having that visibility,

I think is so important to allow people to feel -

You know what, there's nothing wrong with me.

I'm a human being at the end of the day

and my sexuality should not be something that I

feel ashamed about

because other people make me feel that way.

I basically got manhandled out of Pride.

And this Pride is supposed to be about

inclusion.

It's supposed to be about counter protest against

the homophobic

rhetoric that some Muslim communities within

Birmingham are spouting.

And me as a gay Muslim

I want to kinda be a counter narrative to all that.

We've started a new platform.

It's all about queer people of colour

and it's all about our experiences.

It's about the events that we go to.

It's about the prejudices that we face

the discriminative behaviour that we

encounter along the way

and I thought it'd be a really great idea to get

you involved.

So like how did all this come about?

A few years ago, I was a secondary school teacher.

Don't ask me how that happened.

But the reason why I say that is because

high school for me

like many queer people was a place of trauma.

I hadn't actually come out myself as a gay man

however on my social media, it was quite

obvious I was

and the students found out I was gay.

Hi Blaise.

Er you're not in this class.

Bye Blaise.

Okay. Anyone want to read out what it says?

What do you think the intention was?

If it's left on my seat specifically?

And not just like it fell off the table but like

literally strategically placed on the chair.

So when I come back I will see it.

Okay, well I'm gonna help you out.

I think it was to shame.

The intention was to shame.

Considering what you may or may not know of me.

As a gay man I have encountered many of these

microaggressions

probably on a daily basis.

Now, I'm quite secure in who I am.

It's taken me quite a few years to get there.

I've been through loads of things.

So this is kind of like a minor in comparison.

Yeah, but what it does is it does kind of bring

back things.

So in my hand

I've got the handwritten statements that you guys wrote.

This plus this analysis equals culprit.

You might be feeling your ears burning

your heart racing

if it was you

if you feel any kind of guilt or any shame for

what you've done

you'll be feeling that right now.

Now you multiply that by every single session

you're going to see me between now and the end

of the year.

And that's 16 lessons yeah 16 times two hours

32 hours coming into this class

seeing me knowing what you did

knowing that I've outed you and now you may be

potentially be treated differently for that.

Okay.

And that doesn't even come close to what an

LGBT person experiences in their life when they

go to school

and every single day they receive

microaggressive abuse like this

every single day.

It's not a good feeling.

So I'm not going to out you. I'm not going to

stoop to that level because that's not me.

I've been there I felt it. Because I am now in a

position where my sexuality does not define

who I am. It's how I deal with it. And it's

situations like this, that make me who I am.

So I set them this assignment and it was

basically to create a three to four minute

video promoting equality and diversity.

It got shut down by the year head

who said to the students that look, you're not doing

it because it's not part of the curriculum.

So I left my teaching job and I decided to

work here full time and this is what I've been

doing for the last four years. I've been working

with young people, people of colour

people from the LGBT community to provide them a safe space

to give them a voice and help them to challenge stereotypes.

You have an opportunity to create characters

for people from your community.

Because if you ain't gonna do it

no one else it gonna do it yeah?

So if you keep using names like John and Sarah

you're gonna get the same old stale crappy

actors that you see on TV all the time.

Start creating characters that are Jassia

or your Sharonjeets or Masood.

Or Sufiyan.

Use names like that. Because this is what

these sessions are about.

So I'm currently training a team of community

reporters who are going to go out and interview

queer people of colour role models and also

identify the various queer safe spaces that

exist.

What does it mean to be a queer person of colour in

today's society?

Like I've come out to all these spaces and what

I've realised is like it's cool we've got

all these like LGBT+ people but it's all just White.

And it's all just like anytime I bring up

race everyone just gets a bit like oh I don't

want to talk about that.

Kind of growing up I never saw

any Black or B rown faces that were queer.

Now where I'm at university and being able to like

do lots of different things and run my own

projects in order to make sure that queer people of

colour are heard in the narrative.

When you are a queer person of colour it's

not necessarily as accepted in BAME circles

as it is white circles so you pretty much have

to find your chosen family.

Which sharable little pieces of content can we

create that's provocative that's

controversial that's gonna get people talking.

I wanted to do this video which I think

potentially is going to get us a lot of hits and

it's basically how gay friendly is your high street?

And what we're thinking of doing is

having two people kissing in different high streets.

I'm up for it actually.

Would you do it? I knew you would.

Because I have like the structure of what I want

for each verse to be like, people who feel

like they're kind of trapped by being South

Asian and being queer as well. It could be

people's parents like that they're forcing you

to go one way and then you feel like you're

losing yourself and the chorus is just gonna be

like you know maybe I do wanna live my own

life I want to hold someone else's hand I

wannna love how I want to basically.

When I was your age I never even thought

about coming out.

But because I was outed by someone

Oh yeah.

I ended up just going with it and it was the

best thing that happened to me because I didn't

have to make those conversations it just

happened and it was fine.

I was outed in school though but that's how

everyone else knows. I was only like 13 as well.

I was watching Glee and then my favourite

character came out as a lesbian and I was like a

lesbian what's that? So I got bored and I Googled it.

And then I found out about bisexuality.

Straight away just kind of clicked with me so I

told a couple of people like my friends and they

were like oh yeah that's chill and then

the next day I came to school and the entire

school was calling me a lesbian and I was like

what?

I shared a room with my brother for 21 years of

my life, he hated me. Me and him did not get on.

At this age. I knew something was off and I

definitely knew that I had feelings that I

shouldn't be having.

What like as in an attraction or you were

just felt like you're more interested in them

than you normally would be.

Yeah it was like it was a bit of both like

obviously I couldn't accept the fact that it

as an attraction at that age I was like gay

is wrong whatever. I also was like crushing on

this girl in my school.

You know I actually have a friend he

came out as bisexual when we were like 14 and

then he came out as gay when we were 15 because

he was like no, no, nevermind I like guys.

And it's like so many people use that as an

excuse to say oh bisexuality is just a phase.

But I don't understand that cuz like they

think bisexual people have it easier we really

don't.

Yeah, I was 24.

Yeah.

The first time I ever said it to someone.

I got to a point where I was clearly

attracted to men.

Right.

But I was like I don't want romantic

relationships with them

because they all suck.

Like all the men in my life I never got

on with my brother I don't get on with my dad.

And then I fell in love with my straight best

friend.

Right.

And that went on for like a year.

What did he look like?

Okay, so he's like,

a white guy.

Right.

Blonde hair.

He had a very like cute face.

Like soft boy.

You were describing that there's

like a certain type of personality and like

attitude that comes with people that grew up in

Southall so you're not really like attracted to

those kind of guys?

No like I'm

not really.

Because all my friends are jokingly be like

oh you always go for like the white guy.

But they say that and the thing I immediately go

back with is like because those are the only

I meet.

I still have such a crush on Chun-Li I don't even get it.

I'm just like fully love you and want to be you.

Just like all kinds - just everything.

Oh I see the guy you're talking about.

The one by the wall?

Yeah the window.

Yeah he cute.

Paki.

Towelhead.

Whore.

Slut, greedy, sex obsessed.

Slave.

Mulan.

Dark chocolate.

Ladyboy.

Oriental.

Nigga.

Jackie Chan.

Yellow face.

Golliwog.

When you're East Asian people have either have

this idea that you're going to be very sexually

provocative or naughty.

And he was like, oh, you're not full Asian

right? When you're full Asian like they're

generally not good looking.

Obviously there's a big issue with racism.

When you try and bring that to light sometimes

a lot of people act like you're trying to make

things up or you're trying to divide the

community when obviously it's stuff that's

happened to you.

Stonewall and a lot of historical queer history

was brought about by queer people of colour

and that's something we mustn't forget. We wanna

be part of the community but there's not

always a space for us. I think more inclusivity is

very important which is why I'm really eager and

looking forward to UK Black Pride.

The power I have in my privilege of being able

to stand up as an out and proud bisexual Muslim.

When I do see people of colour who only date

White people I try not to be judgmental.

A lot of the time some of it can stem from

internalised racism.

You know the idea that oh well you know I'm

just I'm just attracted to who I'm attracted to.

It's like what how come you only date White girls

though? You know that there's something else

there that that informs that attraction perhaps

it's something else that you're trying to escape

or that you don't want to deal with.

Or in the case of White people the validation

right?

Right or the or the validation.

I acknowledge that a couple years ago I was

like I've got Master syndrome

right I don't know if that's a thing.

I found myself like looking for that

validation in White men right. Like I needed them

to find me attractive to fuck me hard to like to

to go there in order for me to feel desirable or

sexy.

And I'm trying very hard to dismantle that

thinking.

I'm certainly one of those black guys who for

a time saw validation in Whiteness and so I

always pursued White men always felt more

flattered when a White man thought I was

attractive and I realised just how

colonised that thinking is. I think sexual racism

is a thing and I think it's something that we

have to grapple with both as people of colour but

also that White men really need to get their

head around that all of our desires our

preferences they come from somewhere right?

We don't exist in a vacuum. I've written about this

before you know this this idea that we somehow

arrive at our desires without any input from

the external world is wildly inaccurate.

And I think people are really scared to confront

sexual racism because they see themselves as

not racist and I think there's also this weird

thing that happens with desire or when it's when

racism is couched in desire it's somehow not

racism, right? But it is right the reduction of

people to their exterior parts to their skin tone

to their blackness to the size of their penis

like that's all racist.

I went through a very public shaming

I lost my job my past was kind of thrown in my

face and I was hurting and I was having these

really beautiful conversations with people who

were kind of rallying around me and as I was

having these conversations, I was like oh my god

people need to hear this right

they need to hear the wonderful collected wisdom

of our community and you know these were

predominantly queer black people who were using

their own life experiences their own mistakes

their own adversity to help bolster me

to say you're gonna get through this

you messed up but you'll get

back up again

take time to heal and just kept giving

me this amazing advice.

You know Busy Being Black is a healing project

its a way for me to connect with my people

and to learn from people about how they are

healing, thriving, living at this kind of

messy intersection of Blackness and queerness.

18 months in and I feel like I'm just

now getting the confidence to say

hey what I've made is actually shit hot

I'm good at this.

We are so honored to be occupying this space

with so many queer people of colour.

Oh my gosh isn't this wonderful

a sea of beautiful Black and Brown faces and allies.

UK Black Pride is about people over profits.

UK Black Pride is about recognising that our

personal is political and our political is

personal. UK Black Pride is about love, pain, joy,

success, and you'll find that all in one place.

And that one place is the family.

Being an openly gay police officer was

probably the easiest job I did. I never received

any abuse for being queer because they really don't

care as long as you can do the job as long as

you've got their back when things happen you

could be anything. You could be a green alien.

When it comes to the public I only had one

incident and that was on a boxing day night shift

at four o'clock in the morning two people had

really brutally beaten up this person and ran

away and we ran after then I caught one of them and

I sat on him and he said 'Get off me you queer

black bastard.'

I just stayed sitting on him didn't say anything

didn't retaliate.

And then I put it in my statement and it wasn't

till the next day the sergeant in control of

the investigation came up to me and said you didn't

arrest him for racially abusing you, I was

like I just thought it was the part of the job.

He's like, no. Is the organisation overall

institutionally racist? Yeah, it is. Definitely.

Do you know if I wasn't a queer person of colour, I

wouldn't be so outspoken. I wouldn't have craft

myself into an entrepreneur. I very much

believe that being gay has pushed me to have to

say, no one is going to help you. You're going to

have to do this yourself. So it's very much crafted

and moulded who I am today. I mean, that's

also why I'm part of Black Pride. And it's

really hard when you've got people saying there

shouldn't be a Black Pride. Why do you have a

Black Pride?

If we lived in an ideal world we wouldn't need

Prides. But we do. We don't live in an ideal

world. We have racism, we have Islamophobia. We

have so many forms of discrimination. And

that's why UK Black Pride is needed.

When we rise.

I wish I got involved in the community when I was

younger. I'm 33 now I think if I just had the

community around me when I was a bit younger and

I could relate things to people without having to

think about it myself in my bedroom and think this

is just the way it is that's just not just the

way it is and there's people that can help.

You know that understand what you're going through.

UK Black Pride.

Yeah cuz like I haven't come out to my parents

but like, I mean my siblings like I think

they have like an inkling that I'm queer because

like, I'm just queer.

If I were to give anyone advice, I would probably

say, to not feel the need or pressure to tell

everyone right away. I when I was younger made a

pact with myself that I would come out of the

closet even though I didn't know what that

meant. When I was older and lived on my own and

finished my school and was financially

independent. It wasn't until my parents asked me

at 19 which was on my timeline, seven years too

early that I just decided to just get it

over with right away. The beautiful thing is people

have the internet and people are not telling

their stories. So it's like you don't have to

learn from your own mistakes. I think it's

really important to do the research now that

it's available to learn that you are valid. You

are allowed to be queer, you are not a disrespect

to your family. You are a completely and

unconditionally lovable and if other people don't

immediately show you that, that you will find

those people who make you believe again in your

life. To like learn that as a fundamental pillar

of courage and strength before you start coming

out to people who don't have your best interest

during that moment.

It has been a dream of mine to collaborate with

the Tate in any capacity and the fact that they've

allowed us to like throw a Hungama as well as do

an LGBT night as well as celebrate Sridevi is like

beyond my imagination. And so I thank you from

the bottom of my heart. And I just want to say

that tonight is not just about us. It's not just

about the LGBT community. It is about Sridevi and

it also is about her Perdes Simplay who passed

away last week. He ran Saathi for 18 years in

Birmingham. He was a legend. I never met him,

but he always messaged me with nothing but support.

And he's like Hungama's great. Keep doing it. And

when I found out he passed away, I was

devastated. Because like, the earth lost an angel.

And so tonight we celebrate for him, okay?

For me the reason why I came to these events is

because I never really found the safe space

where I am from. Because I live in West London in

Southall it's a very closed off community. And

growing up I never really knew anyone else who was

queer like me. So it was really tough trying to

find trying to find somewhere where I felt

like I could accept my identity as

bisexual as well as being Indian.

You'd be doing me a bad favour if you didn't

follow him on Instagram. Battyman Arun.

Battyman Arun.

Once you go through all of that oppression and

all the challenges and obstacles of coming out

and trying to find your community it is so

devastating to walk into the doors of places that

you're supposed to be welcomed, and still feel

alone. Like it's like getting to the end of a

desert and when you find that like small fountain

of water

realising it just run dry like is it can be really

harrowing.

And then after the first song, we go into each

song you don't know what they are

performing your hardest, live your best Madhuri

Dixit life.

Live your best Aishwarya life.

Live your best Sridevi life.

Live your best life.

I think it's important for people of colour to

to have their own queer safe spaces because we are

as wonderful as we are different and to pretend

that we're one way to pretend that we're one

genre of music or to pretend that we're one tone

or colour in a room is fools errand.

You need to be who you are. Who you are

is the only way this world's going to change

for the better.

I wish my mom was here.

Okay cool. On with the programme.

We are not homophobic.

We are not homophobic.

We are not homophobic. We are not homophobic.

We are not homophobic.

We are not homophobic.

We are not homophobic.

We are not homophobic.

Let kids be kids.

Let kids be kids.

I mean like

she was passing the mic to her child to say our

kids our choice.

A lot of control going on of children.

Very sad.

We are not homophobic.

Do you oppose are you opposed to LGBTQ

relationship education in primary school?

No I've not got a problem with it but you know

I've got -

Humza can I ask you a question? Sorry to

interrupt you.

Sorry he's speaking.

Do you agree with this?

When goldpants crapped his underpants?

You're not letting people speak.

The truth. The truth. The truth about Ferhan Khan.

So Pride is supposed to be an event for everyone

right?

With wristbands.

Now unfortunately, they're putting profit

before Pride.

Look at they way they're manhandling me because I

haven't got a wristband.

Look at that.

Is this Pride?

This is Pride. It's not about profit

It's about the guns isn't it?

It's about the White people telling what people are doing.

For goodness sake.

Look at these guns.

For people that haven't got tickets.

Have you seen that video online? Because

I'm shook by what people have said online. I'm

gonna go to other Prides and show that this is not

who I am.

It's fabulous to be here at the most inclusive

Pride

in history London 2019.

Pride is amazing.

Woooo.

You are so cute. Can I have a kiss?

How racist is the LGBTQ community?

I've experienced it firsthand absolutely.

Definitely through dating apps, in person in bars

in gyms, everywhere.

So what do you think about cultural

appropriation?

I love your T-shirt.

Tell us what's your favourite sexual

position or need we ask?

What do you think of the protests going on in

Birmingham?

We need to start with inclusive education from

the very beginning.

A lot of fear is based upon ignorance so you

know the people who are protesting I'd

encouraged them to educate themselves and

love and live and let live.

I think at the end of the day we gotta express

this with love.

Parents are protesting against kids being taught

not to be homophobic.

Oh fuck them.

You wanna lick pussy lick pussy.

You wanna do this do that.

You wanna suck dick? Suck fucking dick.

Brrrraap.

Pop your number in my fucking phone.

I'm not gonna lie I'm a little a bit nervous today.

I'll tell you why. I got a whole Channel 4 team

filming this for national TV innit so

I'm low key bricking it a little bit.

Yeah so I'm presenting a documentary on

young people's mental health

and this night is just incredibly important for

platforming conversations and creative ways of

expressing a conversation about this topic.

We are holy

We are holy in liquid size and sweat soaked skin

I cannot tell

where she ends and I begin as love interweaves

through estuaries of limb in this tapestry of

brown. It is not a sin, it is a call to prayer

wherever my name leaves her lips with devotion.

I know that God is here. Whenever I am with her,

I know that God is here.

By opening up too much, sometimes we can kind of

like be more vulnerable than you you're prepared

to be. Yeah, I mean, I felt like that when I

first came out in the scene at the age of 15 /

16 years old, things weren't great at home, I

came out and that didn't go down so well with my

family. So I needed a community just to like

embrace me and love me and just be be where I

could find a home and I thought that was the

LGBTQ community in Glasgow in London. But

unfortunately what I experienced wasn't the

cultural understanding that I needed, the racial

understanding the understanding of my lived

experience of racism up to that point at school

you know because I had come with those traumas

and the White people that I was meeting on those in

the LGBTQ community weren't able to

understand that trauma, you know, but if we're

prepared with the information empowered

with the information, we can actually really,

really help each other.

So much, there's so much potential for healing so

much but I think you're right it's just not

being scared to have those conversations.

Hey.

Hello hello.

Hey.

How's it going? This is Phoenix.

We brought guests.

Hi Phoenix.

Say hello.

Hi babe.

Prides.

Okay so you haven't been to any of the Prides yet

have you?

No I literally missed all of it.

You gotta go to Bi Pride.

Bi Pride's coming up.

Wait, there's a Bi Pride?

I met Ferhan at the protests at the

Birmingham Protests. Amazing. I was just like,

Oh my God, just just the way you actually just

just spoke to them and confronted them,but it

wasn't like patronising it was just like just

straightforward questions and they

revealed their own prejudices and it was

just great to see that.

It's like when you catch at bitch out.

And the next day you was at Birmingham Pride.

Birmingham Pride wanted to promote the message of

inclusion and have Muslims queer Muslims

like us just at the front. The rest of the

queer Muslims were doiing

interviews. So I thought you know what

I'm quite bored here I don't know anyone.

So I'm gonna leave. So I just went up to the security guard

and said I'm just going to go but is there anyway

I can get a wristband just to come back in later on?

Oh okay.

So then they cottoned on that I didn't have a wristband.

I saw you go in and I knew that you had access

so when I saw the video I was just like what?

Maybe I was resistant to leaving I guess you

know, but I don't think that I deserve to have my

head caught in a headlock. And for my face

to be smashed against the floor of the concrete.

Now the protesters are using that ammunition and

saying okay well this is your activist. This is

what the gay community is.

You see that's what's so irritating about these

protests is that no one's teaching these like five

year old children about like gay sex they're

telling you that this is what is out there in the

world. You can't hide truth from children.

It's also understanding like that we need to be

teaching our children how to love healthily and

that love manifests in all different ways and

we can love each other in so many different ways.

And that's it. It's such a basic concept.

That becomes politicised and used to oppress.

Because we touched on escapism and how that

like can take place in so many different forms like

drugs but actually how we can escape ourselves

through Whiteness is real you know and

trying to like be anything but what we are

in a White world through loving someone who's

White and trying to like like for me I was with

you know I've only had White partners really

and like like as in in terms of committed long

term relationships.

I mean I've just been a slag all my life so I

don't discriminate. Brown, Black, green, yellow.

I grew up in a very Asian area, maybe if I'd been

put up in a White area then I would have just

gravitated towards who was local to me. For me.

I've always had Asian partners like right from

the get go.

I am breaking this stereotype within my head

this urge within me to like go after someone I

was socialised to find attractive someone light

skinned you know I'm challenging myself.

Do you think

it's rebellious in a way? Are you doing it

out of protest?

You know it unfortunately is but it's the most

rewarding protest I've ever done.

Well I'm sure it was after what I heard about

a certain someone.

You know with Rainbow Films I did a

little interview with this very very

attractive Black guy.

Good for you man you gotta do what you gotta do.

We chatted a little while after that and he came

over here. That's right. That's the tea. He came

over here. We had sex right here outside in the

garden.

On this table?

No just underneath on the floor and then like we

were rolling around and then he took me upstairs

and he gives me the most intense anal orgasm I've

ever had in my life.

Well let's cheers to Ferhan's sexual

emancipation.

Yes.

When we rise, it's about community. It's about

love.

UK Black Pride is a political statement. It

is by us and it for us.

Aaron.

Hi Aaron. Shahmir.

How are you alright?

Together we are Mar/Comms.

We're Mar/Comms of UK Black Pride.

OK sick.

Here goes.

She's ready. That didn't take long.

From a comms perspective. Like I'm always answering

the question like why UK Black Pride is important.

And the only people who asked that question have

never been to UK Black Pride. And you can tell

because people who've been would never ask that

question. If I didn't define myself for myself.

I would be crunched into other people's fantasies

for me and eaten alive.

Maybe I should just say that. Yes, Lord,

Mashallah.

Babe I cried at first UK Black Pride.

That's because you're a faggot.

Okay guilty. Yeah also because

I'm just kidding.

But also because seeing all those like Black and

Brown bodies was so intense. When we get into

that space that is so healing that like I

don't think anyone brings trauma with them into the

UK Black Pride space. Whereas with mainstream

Prides we're kind of we never get to let our

guard down. Also at UK Black Pride you don't

have to wave a rainbow banner to be there. Yeah.

Whereas like with mainstream Prides and

not just in the UK but all over the world. Like

it seems like a prerequisite for

celebration that you're covered in rainbows and

actually what we see UK Black Pride is a

demonstration of culture.

Mario Mieli suggests that homosexuality is natural

because it's a form of self love. Like of

course you'd be attracted to the same sex

because you love yourself.

Like there's so much discord in our community.

And that's not just across

racial lines but it's across gender and gender

identity and I think there's so much division.

We want everyone to come to UK Black Pride.

I think it's important to have allies there at UK

Black Pride but I also think it's important for

allies to recognise that for us as queer Black

and Brown and Asian and non White people that it

is so rare for us to have a space where we can

truly be ourselves.

I believe that telling our stories first to

ourselves and then to one another and the

world is a revolutionary act. Growing up I've

been policed a lot about the way I present myself.

It's not been the easiest to fit into society's

norms or ideals of what a person should look like

or behave like our appear like and being a

Bollywood dancer that comes with added

difficulties because Bollywood as an industry

is very heteronormative. There are a lot of toxic

narratives queer characters aren't given

that sort of privilege and that sort of respect

to be full fledged characters. They are seen

as almost caricatures and for comic relief. So it's

all about questioning and challenging that through

performance and art. And that's what we did

through the London School of Bollywood which I'm

which I'm a part of and we went on to Britain's

Got Talent we addressed gender fluidity we

brought that to the forefront using dance.

And we did get backlash. Yes because

understandable I guess because people aren't

used to this kind of visibility. But honestly

the love and the positive feedback that we got

trumped it all we had judges standing up we had

audience members standing up we've had people from

all across the world send messages of Support. I've

had loads of people come up to me sharing their

personal stories coming out to me and sort of

finding comfort in that visibility that we were

able to create through our dance.

Shall we change it up me on top?

So just a couple more.

That's nice actually.

Well as South Asians we just don't even mention

those subjects we don't talk about sex sexuality

mental health and that's a problem. Me Him Us

that's testing for me to protect me testing for

him to protect him the partner and protecting us.

All of us. It's like some important for our

community to like come together. I don't think

we do that enough. We're too busy like bickering.

Well exactly like this Photoshoot today means a

lot to me because it's like we're just showing

that we can be intimate with each other.

Yeah.

An that can be on on billboards across the city.

Like how often do you see South Asian queer love.

I've never seen it. I don't know if you saw I'm

gonna be on a panel.

I did. I'm so excited for you.

And I need your advice because you've been on

like you're like famous 'I'm on panels everywhere '

I'll give you it all, I'll spill the tea.

So what do I do? I'm so nervous.

You're such a smart intelligent guy you're

gonna be really good at it I really believe in you.

Oh it's just like so I'm talking about like,

bisexuality and being a person of colour and that

like intersection in it all. Like when you start

talking about this kind of stuff every time I

have I upsetting people.

If I know anyone that knows bisexuality and the

intricacies of that it's you.

I don't shut up about it.

Wow, she thinks she's gonna have a problem

going on stage taking about it? Like it's a

problem stopping you talking about it.

So obviously the family situation is very tense.

And I don't want people to like jump on me like

if I see something wrong.

When I went to Birmingham and I encountered the

protesters in Birmingham. I got some backlash from

the Muslim community like why are you disagreeing

with these protesters? Why are you sexualising

our children? You're gonna face this backlash.

That's what makes us so strong and brave and beautiful.

I'm just gonna lean on you and be like help me.

I've got you I've got you sister. Yeah.

Right so we're here at Philly's place.

She wants to shoot today about your alter egos.

And in this case I'm kind of doing like a Desi

superhero.

I'd rather it looks strong, bold masculine.

Cool.

Basically everything that I'm not.

Like that please. I was planning on doing this

shoot yeah. I was gonna get Vaneet and Ferhan to

kiss in different high streets and then get

people's reactions.

Like you'd risk probably getting beaten up, no?

Is there that?

But I mean the fact that you just said that says

it all innit.

Yeah, totally. I get scared because I'm just

like what do we have to do to prove

I personally wouldn't do it I'd shit it.

But then obviously Ferhan and Vaneet are quite bold

in that sense.

So they probably would do. So I'm gonna talk to

them about it.

Hey babe, where are you at?

I'm outside the building.

Okay, cool. I'm just gonna I'm just gonna send

Philly to come and get you yeah?

If you just come round if you just come round the

front Philly's gonna come out now.

Okay he's Philly.

Okay wicked cheers.

Go on.

You're not gonna be kissing your little

boyfriend on the street I've got a fucking son.

You're not gonna do it no you're not. You do that

behind closed doors.

Do you think we're gonna stop now you said.

You do what you want.

It not something my son's gonna see. My son's not

gonna grow up like you to think it's right to get

stabbed in your ass.

Fucking batty.

Excuse me?

Batty boy.

Philly I feel like the more visible I've gotten,

the more vulnerable I've gotten to hate crime.

Coming out as queer on national television

straight after that I got recognised in the street.

This group of South Asian guys in a car and I'm

assuming must have been Muslim but they

recognise me so they must have been watching that

programme. 'Hey, you're that gay bastard.' And

then they pursued me whilst I was on my bike.

Which wow okay.

Yeah they pursued me down the street and then

they slowed down to like basically just stop and

hurl abuse at me. I mean they did actually find

the perpetrator. Okay because I recorded the

number plate.

Well done.

And they took me in for an identity parade but

get this. Right. So I go to the police station.

There's two police officers there. The first

one talks me through the process he says 'you're

going to do an identity parade it's going to be

on video.' And I instantly recognise the

perpetrator.

Right.

So I was like oh it's number six police officer

and he's like 'oh, right you okay sure?' And I was

like yeah I had a feeling might be number

ten. But I'm sure it's number six. He like oh

okay. So then we finish the interview and then we

take it takes me to another room. He's like

you identified the correct perpetrator. But

because you mentioned another perpetrator the

case has collapsed. We can't take any further

sorry.

What?

Yeah.

Poke my eye out.

Poke your eye out with what?

I want to be comfortable with myself publicly

I want to you know let everyone know that I am

bi and I love it but I'm just scared of

the consequences.

I might not have a home.

If I literally come out then my parents will

literally kicking me out if they see this you

know my Dad he's always just like oh you know

he's always talking about how he wants this kind of

perfect life with me and some Indian guy and when

I was younger and I first came out I got so

much shit for it. I was literally bullied to

absolute hell and I finally gotten over that.

I don't know how I'm supposed to kind of live

this public life but still somehow hide in my

own home. I have to sacrifice one or the

other. And I don't know which one it's going to

be. I don't know I don't know which one it's going

to be. I really want to do this. But that's why

is this so hard because I'm thinking if I do

this there's no going back.

Yeah.

I'm quite excited with what Hungama has managed

to achieve in the last year. It's been one year

since I started doing the party monthly and it's

been maybe a year and a half since I started

doing the party in general. I basically just

got to a point where I was working in fashion

for like almost 8 years and art and I was

just feeling very like isolated. I felt like the

only queer person, the only Brown person, the

only Canadian person. And so I just had a case of

the fuck its and I was like I'm just gonna

throw a Bollywood party and I'm just gonna invite

whoever wants to come that really gave me this

the foundation to keep doing them even though I

didn't know if they were going to work. Keep doing

them even though they weren't making money.

Keep doing them even though I had no idea what

I was doing. And it was things like yoga,

meditation, mindfulness. I mean I've taken CBT

therapy I've like I learned how to meditate

off YouTube. I listened to podcasts about like

how to believe in yourself when I go to

sleep and I thought what better way to finish off

our series of one year anniversary things than

by just doing that altogether and actually

being and collectively sharing that experience.

I've been singing forever I'm from

Leicester wasn't really getting anywhere that

exciting there just being pigeonholed a lot of

people telling me 'oh we should sing like you know

Punjabi' but I'm like babes I can't even talk

it. I don't even know what you want me to do.

So I like run away moved to London at 17 and I've

been trying to like carve a lane for myself. And I

think I really come into my artistry since I've

found my community of like queer POC queer

South Asians because it wasn't until I found the

support of people like me that I felt I could like

authentically be myself in my music. For a long

time. I believe or not was pretending that I was

straight like people were going believe it.

Honestly it was like yeah because I didn't think

get signed especially as like a South Asian guy.

First of all I was trying to pretend I

wasn't Brown.

wasn't Brown. I was just like I've just got a tan like I'm mixed

I was just like I've just got a tan like I'm mixed

race.

I was not a coconut. I just didn't want to

adhere to a lot of the kind of pressures that

are put upon me you know being queer like

you said was out of the question. So I think even

by me exercising my queerness even as

pretending to be straight but I just

couldn't help it. It was it like it was it just

wasn't it wasn't it wasn't Brown to them.

That was very you know but then it's so funny

because the same people that are calling me that

used to call me coconut I'm now going back home

and trying to have conversations with them

about white privilege. And they're like 'no you

know don't don't rock the boat.' Like first

like okay I don't understand am I a

coconut? Or am I a White person hater? Like what

really is it?

I'm much more interested in having a conversation with a

South Asian person my age and ask them why are they

perpetuating an archetype that doesn't exist in

their own family homes? Why are they pretending

they don't drink? Why they pretending they

don't smoke? Why they pretending they don't

have sex. I was like because you're actually

creating a huge unsafe area about like all these

tripwires that come up when they start doing

this without proper knowledge without these

issues actually coming to light. And I was like

and creativity is when like we as creatives

learn all this stuff in the trenches. And like

it's important for us to come together so having

this conversation.

Oh my god I loved it so much. When we came in

there's already so much that we could relate to

everyone in the room we don't even have to say

anything and everyone's already had the same you

know South Asian queer experience the same

trying to figure out

themselves. There's such a problem that we face

with trying to balance our identities with being

South Asian in Britain and then being queer

in such a straight environment. So it was

really nice hearing someone say it out loud.

And it made me feel like it's okay to be South

Asian and it's okay to be British. It's okay to be

both at all times I don't have to tone

anything down. And I really really like that

because I want to kind of own that more.

Standby. Roll camera.

Action.

I'm queer.

I'm here. Closets are for clothes not for people.

I'm bi what are you gonna do about huh?

What you gonna do bitch?

We're here, we're queer we will not live in fear.

We're here, we're queer.

I spent so many years suffering in denial. I

don't want anyone else to experience that pain.

I'm here. I'm queer. And I'm a Muslim. I exist

get over it.

The more we put ourselves out there and the more

visible we are. The more we can contribute to

normalising queer people of colour within society.

You are wearing underwear yeah?

Huh? Yeah.

Good. No one wants to see that.

Don't worry honey it's not for you.

Don't worry honey I don't want it.

No one's asking.

The shade.

Basically with Rainbow Films we're in a really

great position because we're working with a lot

of community organisations and through

them I've been able to get in touch with some

really great people and I think for us we're

trying to create a platform that enables

people to have a voice and empowers them and

it's about visibility about seeing people that

look like them talk like them from the same

neighbourhoods and they're living great

lives. They're living happy lives as open

people. It's just made me so much more comfortable

in my skin in terms of my sexuality. It's given me

a purpose.

It's allowed me to connect with people.

I think so.

And I just don't feel the shame. I don't feel that

shame of being out or people know.

Could we maybe have maybe just silhouettes of crew.

Yeah.

With a boom pole and a camera and stuff.

I'm extending his love to you here today.

Giving you the opportunity to repent.

What can I do to repent for you?

Turn to Jesus Christ.

Yeah?

And renounce homosexuality.

Why is that a problem for Jesus Christ.

Because it's a sin.

Where does it say it's a sin?

First Corinthians.

Yep.

And chapter six from verse nine.

Read it to me.

Show me exactly where it says it's a sin.

Do you wanna read it together?

I can't read.

It says do you not know that the unrighteous will

not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be

deceived. In other words don't try to convince

yourself that it's okay.

If God lives inside you is that the same as

myself entering you?

No, your perception of what the Bible says is

very different to what God actually means to say.

You are no more Christian than I am.

I am about a baptised Christian.

I don't think you actually Christian -

Oh really? So you're out here judging me too.

You wouldn't be out here opposing the word of God.

I am opposing to the word of God? I am

opposing you.

Do not judge people. God is the judge -

Thank you very much for your comments and trying

to oppose the word of God but I'm going to

continue preeching now.

You think I'm opposing the word of God?

As I was saying to my friends everyone has the

freedom to either contribute to the support

of this practice and continue to live in sin

or turn away from sin and make peace with God.

Because my friends only those who obey Jesus

Christ and live according to his teaching be

allowed into His kingdom. And the same way you live

in this country, you have to abide by the law.

For me I used to be a drunkard I used to be a

liar I used to be a theif. I used to you know

take drugs. I used to go to the club. I used to be

a bigger sinner. So I'm no better than these

people I'm just set apart by the grace of God.

And I've had my sins forgiven and so -

Are you gay?

Yes I am queer.

What?

Queer Pakistani Muslim woman.

What do you mean queer?

Well it's a reclamation of that word because -

I remember queer back in the days in the 70s.

So the idea is it was used as a derogatory term.

Yeah queer.

And we are we reclaiming that in a powerful way to

say that this is who we are.

What do you think the implications are for

people coming out especially for black

people coming out?

It's horrible. And it makes you go lulu

mental.

Well you know know what I mean I'm just

talking straight. You know when you're mental

you're mental.

I mean -

I mean - A normal mental.

A normal mental.

And then there's the gay mental. Sorry.

I mean I'm gonna say like that term is politically

incorrect because I'm a psychologist.

Right there's normal mental you're mental.

You're off key.

And there's a mental where you can't express

yourself and your feelings to people and it

gives you a bit of a mental feeling.

Listen some people want to commit suicide.

Naz and Matt Foundation started in 2014 sadly

as a result of my fiance and soulmate Naz sadly

taking his own life two days after his family

confronted him about his sexuality. The start of

the breakdown was actually Naz being

criticised because he didn't want to go to a

family funeral. And the reason why he would not

go want to go to that family funeral is because

he was sick and tired of being been asked 'Why

aren't you married?' And then he said on the phone

and I'll never forget this. He said I've told

them. Now there's no build up to this

conversation so I thought that's why I

asked him - told them what? And then even

though he was on the phone that I couldn't see

his face, I could hear.

I could hear that huge breath that he took when

he said everything, I've told them everything and -

I've been in that Pakistani home where

you're carrying you know so much weight

constantly and I think shame is the way to speak

to a lot of this and what I think a lot of people

carry for just being who they are and if you're

not having a place to speak to that to let that

weight to come off or for that to be met with love

or acceptance, it rots you on the inside it

completely like I don't have words to put to that

and I can only imagine what he was carrying to

that point in which it was just there was no

other way out and I've been to those places

personally and I think that we need to be

speaking more about the consequences in terms of

our mental health and especially when it comes

to intersections of particular identities and

families that are repeatedly shaming you

know and cultures are repeatedly shaming us for

who we actually are.

My pleasure is my power my moan becomes a protest

against all I have ever been told.

You attempt to reprimand me every time that you

tell me.

I'm supposed to try hard to make roti and dhal.

I'm supposed to steer clear of queer company.

I'm supposed to grow my hair and wear salwar kamaaz

I'm supposed to find a nice aadmi to take care

of me.

Well I would daringly care to disagree.

But please let the flowers of my Pakistani

powers interweave with ease through my identity.

My love is not limited to body parts.

It is about the passion that seers between two

human hearts and there is no part of you that

will make me feel shame for who and how I love.

Can I have a talk with you?

What's up?

I was speaking to Manpreet and she was

saying that you were having a chat with her.

And you were saying that you don't

think like bisexuality is real or something.

I don't know what it was.

I don't know what it was. No no no I didn't say that in the conversation

No no no I didn't say that in the conversation

I was talking about my own personal experience.

And I was talking about how when I was growing

up, I kind of said to my friends and everyone else

that was bisexual and I go to me it seems like

Vaneet is doing the same thing.

That's so invalidating. Like I told you my story.

I told you how hard it was.

I told how it was like

I didn't know if I liked women

I didn't know if I liked men

because I kept flipping back and forth

I didn't have a term for it

so I didn't know what the hell I was

I thought I was weird.

I don't think you realise how difficult it is to be bi

you're saying its easier and it'll soften the blow

but we have like higher rates of suicide

and depression and anxiety

we're less likely to come out.

And it's horrible because we go out into the LGBT+

community then we get people like that going

'You're not actually bi though, you're gonna come

out as gay later, you'll choose a side.'

We're not gonna choose a side.

This is my Mum.

And this is brother in law Tunde.

My whole family's here.

You'll be fine.

You'll be amazing.

This guy pops off on Twitter twenty four

seven. In real life its gonna be the same thing.

I'm gonna be like Twitter but in real life.

Watch me watch me.

You will never like not be

like oh I can't think of something to say.

Oh yeah no I mean I'm always gonna have

something to say.

Hi everyone it's very loud very loud person

I apologise. So I'm a queer person of colour.

My background is Indian. I identify as bisexual and

queer. I also do writing in my spare time and I

was published in the Bible Volume 2 which

you may have seen being sold here today.

I can't remember a time were I didn't feel

othered honestly. I grew up in Southall and it's

a very South Asian area and it was rife with

toxic masculinity which we all love and when I

finally did come to terms with my sexuality and I

finally did come out I went into LGBT+ spaces

and it was lovely to have all these LGBT+ friends

apart from the fact they just didn't want to talk

about race. They just didn't.

Anytime I bring up cultural appropriation.

Anytime I bring up preferences. Yeah it's

not preference mate any single time I would say

this stuff people there would always be at least

one person in the room would be like 'can you

just stop talking?' And they just didn't want to

hear because all of them were just White cis gay

men.

So I was like right well I need to go somewhere

else. So I found queer people of colour spaces

and you think well okay maybe that will be

better but just like with the White cis gay

spaces biphobia existed.

Oh my god congratulations.

You look so gorgeous.

Aw I love it.

We're gonna walk past and see us

on the street.

Oh that's gonna be so lush.

Do you drink diet Coke?

I normally drink normal Coke it will do. I'm not

that much of a queen just coz I'm on photos now.

For people of colour it's always like one or

the other. Either you're ignored or you're

fetishised.

And for me I'm always in the ignore category

because like there's so many other things on top

of me being Asian that just don't like.

Is it easy to tell that I'm Asian?

Yes.

You can still tell because your eyes

there's a lot of space around your eyes.

So shall I put some foundation on.

Pretend to be White for a day?

You're gonna go to a

circuit party and just pretend that you're

White that's what you wanna to do?

Yeah I'd be more successful.

And when it happens just be like suprise bitch.

Look you kissed a Paki.

I haven't tested my limits to be honest but

if I were to test my limits again then I

guess I would use the ultimate penetrating

cream. I have had to train myself up a bit

first. But spit is quite popular these days.

That's what you want really a spit and shove.

I don't know if you're aware actually but I

only ever go for an uncut dick. I like mine

nice and haram.

I'm growing my foreskin using -

How'd you grow foreskin?

It's using a foreskin DTR called a dick restorer

But you're Muslim I'm Muslim were circumcised -

Yep foreskin restorer.

So you can stretch your skin and all of the skin

cells when you separate them they start to

undergo mitosis so they replicate. So you can

replicate all of those skin cells from your

foreskin a little bit that you got left.

Yeah I got a device and it pulls it everyday

while I'm at work under the desk.

Yeah but it takes about 6 months or 8 months.

I don't know if you're lying to me.

It's called intactivism.

Everyone on Grindr is like oh you're gonna be

my like sub bottom boy and I'm like other way

round sis.

Don't let the hair fool you. Don't let the Asian

fool you.

Oh look douche cleansing.

I just hate all of these like sub communities.

And fact that they're like let's have a flag

and I'm like why? You're not a marginalised group.

And when we get a flag with black and brown

stripes suddenly it's like oooh.

'No you can't be a group

because that's racist.'

But you can have a bear flag.

Only do things that you're absolutely

comfortable with. Don't feel any pressure to do

anything that you don't want to do of course.

If at any point you guys feel like you're in

danger just shout out a safe word or a code

word. Yeah what would you want to use?

Pineapple.

OK pineapple.

And then I've got this DJI so this is a gimbal.

So I'm going to be basically hovering around

you looking like a pervert following you

like this. The point of it is to see how gay

friendly or queer friendly the high street

is so it might even be that people like don't

even batter an eyelid.

I feel like we haven't actually been on the

date this is like our first date but like

recorded which is weird.

Yeah.

Pronouns are he him they them. When I was like 13

I used to wear boys clothes all the time, I

was actually secretly happy on my friend broke

the head off my Barbie.

About three years ago I experienced homophobia

where I work. I used to work in finance as a

trader in Canary Wharf. I basically interviewed for

the job as a feminine and I kind of became more and

more masculine towards the end of my time there.

And that became a bit confusing for them so it

didn't really go so well and then I ended up

getting bullied for it and like my hands were

like shaking at work and shit. Yeah.

How bullied like how?

Swearing laughing jeering.

They would walk past me and then

click pens and be like 'when she's gonna get fired?

Does she know she's gonna get fired?

Who's gonna fire her?'

So I ended up with PTSD and it took me 2 years

to recover.

Day one my parents couldn't even hug me

they couldn't come into my room

because I'd have a panic attack I was

that scared of people.

I had to relearn how to eat in public how to

read how to write in public like I literally

couldn't work at all for like two years.

People who have a problem with it well I'm like

people already had a problem with me before so

I am a Black trans man.

I'm starting to feel a bit uncomfortable.

You're so nervous. Look at you.

I am a bit nervous.

Those guys they're like three of them.

They saw that I saw them and they started like

just looking but like

very intensely.

Some people were curious or some people were

getting a bit aggressive.

How vegan does it taste?

It actually tastes like sausage.

Hey hello.

Yeah I'm just a bit concerned that I think

the more I become who I am as an individual it

means that I'm going to have to deal with like

more prejudice like my partners will have

prejudice.

My children are going to have prejudice. It's just

gonna be a lot of pain for a lot of people.

Just because I want to accept who I am as as an

individual.

I went through hell and I've come on the other end

so I should speak about what happens it

doesn't happen to anyone else.

You should see how she's looking at us.

You should see it.

She's horrified.

Horrified?

Yeah.

Oh.

She's just like, analysing us and

everything.

I think she thinks I can't see her.

Everyone is watching us on the bus.

Yeah I know I know.

Everyone is.

Yeah we should actually go on like an actual date.

You're cool.

This is where I grew up.

Yeah.

I've spent most of my life here.

Sure.

I wasn't out when I was here to be out and being

in Southall and like it's exactly what I thought it

would be.

You're right.

I've not seen a single person walk by who hasn't

had a look.

And the looks are not positive looks.

If looks could kill.

It just confirms for me I could never be out here.

It could never come to Southall and be out and

be whatever.

Okay.

I just live my life without reactions or

without feeling unsafe.

without feeling unsafe. For me when I come here to a place like this

For me when I come here to a place like this

where I see people of my culture living their

lives but not really changing their mindsets.

I'm very inclined to change their mindset by

public displays of affection.

Yeah.

So for me is very like I'm not gonna like hold

back I want to like full on kiss I might even

take my clothes off.

I used to come to this high street all the time.

I'm pretty sure I used to come to dentist here. My

family used to have a business here.

Like this, this is my this is everything to me.

This is this is this is my whole life.

You have a connection a personal, heartfelt

connection to this area. And you you want to be

fully accepted for your whole self when you're

And it's sad because like, no matter what

happens in my life, no matter where I go, a tiny

piece of my heart will always be here.

It's Beyonce.

Happy Black Pride.

Oh my god. Look at you.

Look at that this.

Why does it look like Glastonbury?

What have you done?

That stage is immense.

We got a little bit more money.

If I say UK you say Black Pride.

UK

Black Pride

UK

Black Pride.

Ryan Lanji. Who is the innovator and creator of

East London's queer Bollywood night called

Hungama.

Performing for UK Black Pride was an honor.

There's this weird moment where like time didn't

exist and like those moments when you're a kid

with your parents and you're partying at a

wedding and you hear a song and you hear a tune

and your soul feels it I could feel it and

everyone in the audience I just I just phenomenal.

And so about coming and exploring, learning and

being together with everyone you didn't

realise was there.

As a queer Muslim who's living in Birmingham who

grew up in Birmingham how did you find the

impact in relation to seeing what was going on

with the protests?

I'm not from Birmingham? Can you not tell I'm from

Glasgow.

I have this opportunity this platform and yes

this privilege to be able to go to the community

ask some questions and challenge them and then

leave again and not have to deal unfortunately

with what people that actually live in the

community like people in the street what they

have to deal with because yes they are

marginalised as Muslims and they deal with

racism. So I would say moving forward I think

we need to have love in our hearts and really

open up dialogue and be able to trust each other

more.

I think the LGBTQ community has a lot of

work to do you know and I think the more of us

who read up on history queer history

specifically and the liberation movements the

more we begin to understand that we're

kind of we're still fighting a lot of the

same fights and a lot of those fights are

internal right we're fighting with each other.

We're protecting ourselves from each

other we're trying to bridge the divide we're

trying to have these conversations across

party lines and racial lines.

So this Pride here is inclusive.

This Pride here caters for our migrants

our refugees our asylum seekers

our Black and Brown queer folk

our homeless, people who are trying to get into

the workforce.

It is the most inclusive Pride you will come across.

This is the place where you can be

100 per cent free.

This is the place were you are not too Black.

You are not too White.

You are are not too Brown.

You are not too short.

You are not too tall.

You are not too fat.

You are not too maga.

You are not too gay.

You are not too straight.

You are not too butch.

You are not too fem.

You are not too undecided.

You are not too binary.

You are not anything

except too brainwashed to realise how beautiful you are.

This is where you belong.

Hi I'm Aaron from Beyonce experience you're

watching Rainbow Films at UK Black Pride.

I've been here since 6am when it was raining and I

honestly thought wow are people even gonna come

you know in the rain. Every time I pop out my

head it just seems to like double in size with

the vibe and energy here. I can feel it backstage

like I'm gonna have absolute chills going on

that stage for that audiene.

I've never been so excited for a performance

you know this performance and what I'm

doing today has been in my head for probably

about four or five months.

I am so proud of Aaron Carty like I don't think

that people realise how much work he puts into

the Beyonce experience. The handmaking of all of

the costumes, the rehearsals, the dancers

everything.

If you like it you should have put a ring on it.

The Beyonce experience.

When we rise.

When we rise.

Like over 10,000 people.

You make this happen.

So now you know what as we walk off

we take Pride in who we are.

No to racism

no to sexism

no to homophobia

no to biphobia

no to transphobia

no to any phobia at all.

It's incredible that an event like UK Black Pride

exists.

You know the community has shown me such

remarkable compassion and empathy and I think it's

just a demonstration of the potential of our

community right? We do have it within us to

recognise each other's humanity to treat each

other with kindness but I think that if we're

going to get to where we need to go we got to do

it together.

For weeks at the gates of a primary school in

Birminghamt here were loud protests claiming

teachers were promoting homosexuality. Now pupils

working hard inside Anderton Park Primary

School aren't disturbed by demonstrations

outside. Today the High Court in Birmingham ruled

an injunction stopping the demos at the school

gates should be made permanent.

Well I'm just glad that we were able to

contribute to getting these protesters banned

once and for all.

The police officer came to you didn't they?

Yeah basically they took a statement.

They came down here they're in the office for like

three hours talking about you know what

they're trying to do with the case they did say it

was going to be quite difficult to prove a lot

of things.

However she said the footage that I submitted

the things that I filmed outside with you in there

as well.

She said that was a critical piece of

evidence that helped to get them prosecuted and

without that piece of evidence I don't think

they would have had the case. There are gonna be

other groups are going to be opposed to it but

this sends out a clear message that hate speech

is not going to be tolerated. This is just

the start. I think we've got a lot more work to do.

Just thank you for being a part of it.

Do you know what? It's all about the Rainbow.

So you feeling prepped for tonight?

Yeah I actually am feeling prepped. I got my mic

ready so everything.

I was struggling so much when I came out and I

never really saw anyone like me and hopefully I

can try and be that for other people.

You're really impacting people now. And it's just

nice to know that your voice is a voice

that matters now.

No I'm like I'm an angry Twitter ranter that's

my identity.

You're bifurious.

Bifurious always.

Oh wait there we go.

Yeah that's fine.

So as you can see this exhibition is about

equality, diversity and what we can do to make

minority voices heard and a bunch of us have been

working on a huge project that's the involvement of

the LGBTQ community and how we as Indians and how

we as Brown people want to be seen in the

community because we don't have a voice. So a

lot of us has been have been doing things through

activism and I've been working on music that is

accepting who you are despite of society and

people telling you that you aren't allowed to

have both. You are allowed to be queer and

Brown and you're allowed to be yourself.

Hands together falling on your knees.

You say he is good he is grace he loves us

equally.

I'll hold her hand for the whole world to see.

We'll write our names on locks and chain them to

the city.

You can waste your time.

You can try to shun me. Leave me with no roof

over my head.

I'll spend the night star gazing with my lover instead.

And I love the way I was meant to.

And I love the way I was born to do.

And I love the way I would want to.

So free.

That's such a cute way to end it.

Thank you.

You smashed it.

Before this I never really thought of

activism much. Now I've made friends with so many

people who are doing so many nice things for the

world and I want to be a part of it. I want to

continue on with seeing where I can go with

fitting my queerness into my music and how I

can just create

more of a visible space for people like me.

I've started this when I was in these spaces and

they were all very White and very gay. And through

this, I've met so many people of colour. I've

met so many bisexual people. We're having all

of these discussions and you can have these

conversations so loudly and openly. All I was

doing was just being myself and suddenly

everyone's listening to me and I feel like I

just want to keep going.

I just think it's time for minds to change. We

can't allow this narrative of homophobia

in the Muslim community to go unchallenged

forever. I know that queer Muslims like myself

me included definitely will not allow homophobic

Muslims to take over the narrative anymore.

It's time to have a queer platform like this. It's

time for us to unite and it's time for us to make

that difference.

Rainbow Films.

SUBTITLES BY BLAISE SINGH