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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:03,920 [elevator beeps] 2 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:05,680 [sighs] 3 00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:08,520 [elevator beeps] 4 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:25,920 [tense music] 5 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:22,880 [exhales] 6 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:22,680 [snickers] 7 00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:37,640 [clears throat] 8 00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:38,800 [knocking on door] 9 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,080 [in French] 10 00:02:44,960 --> 00:02:46,480 [in English] Hey, man. Are you a ninja? 11 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:47,920 -No, no. -[laughs] 12 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:49,800 Torsten, Michel. Michel, Torsten. 13 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:50,840 That's great. 14 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:52,640 -Wow! -What I can do for you, man? 15 00:02:52,680 --> 00:02:55,240 What can you do for me? Good question. 16 00:02:55,360 --> 00:02:56,920 I'm coming with these big... 17 00:02:57,800 --> 00:02:59,840 Oh, my God. Is that for me? 18 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:01,480 From me, for you. 19 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:02,520 [gasps] 20 00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:03,960 Thank you so much. 21 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,320 Dude, you don't even know what that means, that one's a keeper. 22 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:08,960 -Yeah. -You should really, wow. 23 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,080 That's so sweet. 24 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:11,120 Okay, what are you doing here, man? 25 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:15,520 -So? -Oh, yeah. 26 00:03:15,640 --> 00:03:16,960 I've come with special instructions 27 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:18,520 from Ingeborg for the presentation. 28 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,840 Okay. What are Ingeborg's instructions? 29 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,320 Right. 30 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:25,080 "That presentation is crucial. 31 00:03:25,120 --> 00:03:26,960 No mistakes. No second chances." 32 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,680 -What are you doing? -She gave me these precise 33 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,640 -instructions for eye contact. -Oh, okay. 34 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,040 "If you fuck it up, I'll send you to fucking hell. 35 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:37,800 Except if I'm in a bad mood, 36 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:40,200 then I'll have you appointed in Luxembourg." 37 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:41,640 Honestly, I think that's cruel. 38 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,240 So, you came here to threaten me? 39 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:44,560 -Yeah. -And that's it? 40 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:45,640 Yeah. 41 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,360 No, wait, sorry. There's another bullet point. 42 00:03:49,480 --> 00:03:52,360 She says, "Do not mention the finning part in the speech." 43 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:53,640 What? Why? 44 00:03:53,760 --> 00:03:56,200 It's gonna piss off the Spaniards. You know, 45 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:57,520 they're fishermen, they make millions out of finning. 46 00:03:57,560 --> 00:03:58,800 So, don't mention the sharks. 47 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:00,080 No talking about contentious issues. 48 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:01,960 That's rule number one here at the Parliament. 49 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,040 [in French] 50 00:04:11,520 --> 00:04:12,560 [in English] Okay, what should we talk 51 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:15,320 about then? There's nothing else and it's in ten minutes. 52 00:04:15,360 --> 00:04:17,760 Oh, yeah, sure. I get that. That's a fair point. 53 00:04:21,240 --> 00:04:22,760 There's nothing about that, sorry. 54 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,440 Great, Okay. Good luck, guys. Yeah? 55 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:26,200 It's been a pleasure to meet you. Tschüss. 56 00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:28,200 Tschüss, yes. 57 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:31,360 [laughing] 58 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,560 You speak German. This is incredible. He speaks German. 59 00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,120 -[shushing] -Thank you. 60 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:37,800 [in French] 61 00:05:10,560 --> 00:05:12,080 [in English] Is he recovering from a stroke 62 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:13,120 or something? 63 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,360 No, he's in full capacity right there. 64 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:18,880 [in French] 65 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,200 [clapping] 66 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:22,960 [in English] Rafael Caral, 67 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,240 for a point of order. 68 00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,880 -What's going on here? -It's a point of order. 69 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,360 MEPs can intervene by clapping whenever. 70 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:31,800 Oh. Weird. 71 00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:33,880 [speaking in Foreign Language] 72 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:38,640 The member from the Catalan Independence Party 73 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:40,880 is again speaking in Catalan, 74 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,120 not an official language of the EU! 75 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:47,240 What the member representing the oppressed Catalan minority... 76 00:05:47,320 --> 00:05:49,240 [mic static] 77 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,200 [arguing indistinctly] 78 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:52,320 [in French] 79 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:57,320 [in English] Regional identity, it's called. 80 00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,680 [in French] 81 00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:19,520 [speaking in Foreign language] 82 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:25,000 [cell phone pings] 83 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:26,560 [in English] I'm gonna go hide 84 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:27,760 for a while, Okay? 85 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,680 [in French] 86 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,680 [tense music] 87 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:52,960 [in English] Can you stop following me, man? 88 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:55,440 I have to. Ingeborg is now tracking you 89 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:57,680 through my phone GPS. There we go. 90 00:06:57,760 --> 00:06:58,760 [clears throat] 91 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,120 [in robot voice] "The Spanish are going to strike back hard. 92 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,520 If you fuck up the compromise meeting, 93 00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:06,560 I will terminate you and your MEP." 94 00:07:07,320 --> 00:07:09,680 [in normal voice] Yeah, I know. I just like taking on 95 00:07:09,760 --> 00:07:12,560 that robot voice when she makes me do things. 96 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,200 And also it worked well with the word 'terminate'. 97 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:16,800 What's a compromise meeting? 98 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:18,760 [laughs] 99 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,000 [in French] 100 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:22,560 [in English] Oh, come on, man, like... 101 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:25,080 How am I supposed to know that you don't know that I know, 102 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:27,520 I mean, that's a very confused situation. 103 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:29,560 [tense music] 104 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:50,760 [in French] 105 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:09,160 [snorts] 106 00:09:14,040 --> 00:09:15,040 [snickers] 107 00:09:27,960 --> 00:09:29,440 [in English] Okay, all I'm asking is that 108 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:31,720 you help me with the first steps, that's all. 109 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,480 [keyboard clicking] 110 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:37,960 Is that your boss? 111 00:09:38,680 --> 00:09:40,200 She looks very different now. 112 00:09:40,280 --> 00:09:42,800 It was ten years ago when she was a soft Eurosceptic Tory. 113 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:44,280 -What happened? -I don't know. 114 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:45,320 It happened so fast. 115 00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,200 She just spent more and more time on the Internet, 116 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,440 surfing weird websites and reading articles written 117 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,200 by Boris Johnson about condom sizes 118 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:53,560 and banana shapes. I didn't react at first, 119 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:54,960 because it all sounded so ridiculous, 120 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:58,040 but then when I finally realized what was happening, 121 00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,160 [deep inhale] 122 00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:02,800 it was too late... She was too far gone. 123 00:10:03,600 --> 00:10:05,320 She even radicalized online. 124 00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:07,600 I'm sorry. 125 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:12,080 Okay. So, could you just tell me what the first thing 126 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,080 I need to do is and I'll leave you alone? 127 00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,440 When do you meet the other groups? 128 00:10:16,560 --> 00:10:17,560 Tomorrow morning. 129 00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:19,920 First thing to do is get your political adviser on board. 130 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,320 Yeah, Ingeborg asked me to do it. 131 00:10:21,400 --> 00:10:23,600 Ingeborg is very not from your group. 132 00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:28,080 Okay, yeah, of course, she's not... 133 00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:29,480 And, out of curiosity, 134 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:32,400 where would I find my political adviser? 135 00:10:34,080 --> 00:10:35,080 Rose? 136 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:36,960 [keyboard clicking continues] 137 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:44,200 Okay, I'll let you do your good work. [chuckles] 138 00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:45,280 Thank you very much. 139 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:46,840 [in French] 140 00:10:47,560 --> 00:10:48,600 [groans] 141 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:50,280 [sighs] 142 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,320 [in English] It's okay, I'm fine. I'm really, 143 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:56,680 She told me that I had to have my political adviser on board. 144 00:10:56,720 --> 00:10:57,960 But, apparently, 145 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:00,200 Ingeborg is not the political adviser for my group. 146 00:11:00,800 --> 00:11:02,440 Yeah, I know. She's not. 147 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:03,840 You knew that too? 148 00:11:04,720 --> 00:11:05,720 Thanks, man. 149 00:11:06,560 --> 00:11:08,320 That's awful. I'll have two more. 150 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:09,440 No, I'm fine. 151 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:10,480 They're for me. 152 00:11:10,680 --> 00:11:13,080 So, you're sure that my political adviser 153 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,280 is gonna show up here? 154 00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:16,560 Maurice? Free wine. 155 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:19,680 Did Michael Jackson ever miss a kids' Xmas party at the office? 156 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,800 I don't think Michael Jackson had an office. 157 00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:26,320 -What? -This girl. This girl. 158 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:29,040 -She's checking you out. -I think I know her. 159 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:30,840 Why is she staring at me like that? 160 00:11:31,160 --> 00:11:33,080 Nordic girls can be pretty aggressive. 161 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:34,960 Oh, Okay. [giggles] 162 00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:36,400 What should I do? 163 00:11:37,320 --> 00:11:38,320 She's coming over. 164 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:40,960 Oh, fuck, man. I feel like an object. It feels bad. 165 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:42,680 -Hi. -Oh, hey! 166 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,200 [giggling] 167 00:11:44,680 --> 00:11:46,200 Do you want some white? 168 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:49,080 Are there two Polish guys waiting to kill me 169 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:50,320 and steal my genitals 170 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:51,960 [chuckles] once you've got me drunk? 171 00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:54,560 No. [awkward laugh] 172 00:11:54,600 --> 00:11:56,600 That's what you would say if there were. 173 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:02,320 Okay. I'm just gonna leave you with your friend. 174 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:05,040 -No. -No, it's Okay. 175 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:06,280 Samy. 176 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,400 Swedes are into that consent thing big time. 177 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:10,800 You forgot your bottle. 178 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,400 [laughing] 179 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,680 I think you're a funny guy. 180 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,800 You don't need to feel threatened by me 181 00:12:15,840 --> 00:12:17,080 because I'm homosexual. 182 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,560 I don't feel threatened by you. 183 00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:23,680 Well, I'm not totally sure yet. I might not be gay. 184 00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:26,920 Still not threatened. 185 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:31,200 I'm also thinking of, like, having a sex change this summer. 186 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,440 Wow. That's very cool. 187 00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:35,440 The restaurant I told you about... 188 00:12:35,480 --> 00:12:37,200 Do you have painful periods? 189 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:38,320 [burps] 190 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,320 -I'm sorry, I just... -No, 191 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:41,920 I'm just gonna see you later. 192 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:45,080 That was a pleasant moment for everyone, man. 193 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,920 Maurice! Maurice! 194 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:50,680 This is your political adviser. 195 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:53,200 [in French] 196 00:12:58,560 --> 00:12:59,720 [in English] He hates me, man. 197 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:01,080 Oh, shit. 198 00:13:02,080 --> 00:13:03,080 It's bad, right? 199 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,480 They're packing up, man. Just wait. 200 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:11,680 [quirky music] 201 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:15,040 [in French] 202 00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,040 [sniffs] 203 00:14:09,600 --> 00:14:11,320 [laughing] 204 00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,400 [chuckles] 205 00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:45,080 [indistinct yelling] 206 00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:04,680 [in English] So... 207 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:08,680 You really traded an innocent girl for some political support. 208 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:11,200 That's wild. 209 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:13,320 I didn't trade anyone. 210 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:16,320 I just left a party because I was tired 211 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,480 and I have an important meeting. 212 00:15:18,560 --> 00:15:19,560 [laughing] 213 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,560 That's not the way I'll recount it in my memoirs. 214 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,040 No one is gonna buy your memoirs anyway. 215 00:15:30,720 --> 00:15:33,920 That's some serious hand-washing, Pontius Pilate. 216 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:48,800 -Hey! -Hey! 217 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,560 You forgot something. 218 00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:57,960 [camera clicking] 219 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:00,320 [moans] 220 00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:01,960 -Is this really happening? -Yes. 221 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:03,280 [giggles] 222 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:05,400 Don't tell anyone, Okay? 223 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,440 You said I had forgotten something? 224 00:16:11,840 --> 00:16:12,960 -The kiss! -Oh, the kiss! 225 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,320 [giggling] 226 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:16,960 [tense music] 227 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:27,080 -I think I need another drink. -I think I need another job. 228 00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:30,960 [in French] 229 00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:32,320 [in English] Can you put the smile away, 230 00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,920 please? It's a ghastly sight this early in the morning. 231 00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,840 Whoa. Okay. Sorry, I think I found love. 232 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:39,200 The Swedish girl? 233 00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:40,920 You told her? 234 00:16:41,560 --> 00:16:43,040 -No. -He did. 235 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,840 What's the secret anyway? No one cares. 236 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,680 -Why are you so angry, then? -I'm not angry. 237 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,440 Really? I can't tell if it's your angry face 238 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,440 or if it's your normal face that always looks angry. [chuckles] 239 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,560 -Did you have wild sex? -No. 240 00:16:57,680 --> 00:16:58,960 Which party is she from? 241 00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:02,800 The Democrats of Sweden or something. 242 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:03,840 Why didn't you have sex? 243 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:07,040 Because I am staying in a dorm at a youth hostel [chuckles] 244 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,880 and her mom was sleeping at hers. 245 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,880 Plus, it's not about that. 246 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:12,960 We talked all night. 247 00:17:13,040 --> 00:17:14,840 She's so nice, she's funny... 248 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:16,200 She's a Nazi. 249 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:17,280 What? 250 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,720 The Democrats of Sweden are Nazis. 251 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:23,960 They cannot be Nazis because Nazis don't exist anymore. 252 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:27,000 Nazis aren't like dodos or polar bears. 253 00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:29,120 They can disappear and come back again. 254 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,680 They're democrats and Swedish, two things everybody loves. 255 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:35,960 Yeah. That's because everything is the opposite 256 00:17:36,040 --> 00:17:37,040 of what it's named here. 257 00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,160 What? 258 00:17:38,200 --> 00:17:40,760 The Ocean Preserver Association, from which you copied 259 00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:44,200 amendments, is the lobby of the fat polluters 260 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:47,120 riding big boats and using electric fishing. 261 00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:48,360 The Democrats of Sweden 262 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,960 who sit in the Nations and Freedom for Europe Group 263 00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:53,760 are Nazis who hate freedom, Europe and other nations. 264 00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:57,520 Your group is the Direct Democracy for Freedom in Europe 265 00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,680 so, you're Nazis too. 266 00:17:59,760 --> 00:18:03,040 No, we're not Nazis. We're confused, it's very different. 267 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,680 She cannot be a Nazi, because she is the kindest girl. 268 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:10,200 She strokes my hair. She loves it when I talk in French. 269 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,120 -Did you try German? -[laughs] 270 00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:13,200 That's offensive. 271 00:18:13,280 --> 00:18:14,520 But it's funny. 272 00:18:14,640 --> 00:18:16,000 Because it's mean. 273 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,160 Since when are you two friends? 274 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,920 -We're not. -We're best friends. 275 00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:23,760 Anyway. I have an important compromise meeting 276 00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,920 to attend and sharks to save, so if you'll excuse me. 277 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:27,960 Maurice! 278 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:31,680 What are we gonna do now, best friend? 279 00:18:31,720 --> 00:18:33,360 Absolutely not. 280 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:34,880 Maurice. 281 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,440 [in French] 282 00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:00,960 [grunting] 283 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:25,840 [tense music] 284 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,000 [door slams shut] 285 00:19:30,120 --> 00:19:32,680 [muffled yelling] 286 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:44,720 [upbeat music] 287 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,960 [speaking in Foreign Language] 288 00:23:05,200 --> 00:23:07,880 [arguing indistinctly] 289 00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:53,440 [upbeat music] 20055

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