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You wanna just get a bunch of shit and share it?

Yeah, like, let's eat on the ground like animals.

O.K., great.

l made both of your towels wet. Sorry.

That's O.K.

Mmm...

One second. l'm almost ready.

What's up, my man?

Feels good to have you here.

l know. lt feels good to be here.

You O.K.?

Yeah?

You hungry?

We're gonna get food.

O.K.

What? You have sad face still.

What's your sad face about?

That's not happy face.

That's artificial happy face.

l'll be right back. One second.

So who's your new lab partner?

Well, they haven't assigned

them yet because...

There was, like, the number of people

in the class didn't match up

and everybody else was happy with their lab partners.

But the good thing is,

number one: she didn't have to know that l complained about her,

and number two...

What are you doing?

Number two?

- What are you doing? - Number two?

Are you taking off my stuff?

Number two?

Number two is that l get

to do it all myself,

which is all l wanted to do in the beginning anyway.

You're your own lab partner?

- Mm-hmm. - That's so sad.

No, that's awesome.

No, that's lonely.

No, everybody else screws up my work.

Can l come be your lab partner?

Absolutely not.

- Really? - No.

They wouldn't let me into nursing school?

No, they'd let you in if you applied and were...

You know, had a... burning desire.

Button me back up, please.

Mm-mm.

- No? - Mm-mm.

Thank you.

What time is it?

Arms up.

You were thwarted by the inner bra.

Oh, shit.

So that's how these things work?

What?

Yeah, that's what they do.

You girls with your multiple layers and stitching.

That shirt cost $80, didn't it?

No, not that one, but l do have a running shirt

that cost a lot of money.

lt's for special running.

l was...need that.

lt's for special snow running.

Oh...

- Go take a shower. - l'm sorry.

So that we can start...

- Our day. - Our day.

Are you gonna make me breakfast or should we get some?

Well...

You're eating already.

l'm about to spoil my breakfast, but...

Yeah, you are.

l'm hungry.

Um... O.K., well...

l'm gonna take a shower.

Don't spoil your breakfast too much 'cause l haven't eaten yet

and l want to eat with you.

O.K.?

Are you sure you don't want to take a shower with me?

Hold on.

Hold on what?

Do you wanna take one?

l mean, are you asking me to take a shower with you

'cause l want to get clean

or because you want to take a shower with me?

Because it'd be nice taking a shower together.

Well, then, totally.

l just was saying that l didn't need a shower.

Don't eat the brown part.

Eww!

l think that one of the grossest things in the world

is somebody else eating a banana.

lt's the way it smells and it sounds.

And l love you, but it's gross.

Eww! Oh, God!

l just saw it inside your mouth.

You still want to take a shower with me?

Yeah, l still want to take a shower with you.

Just get the smell of banana off you.

l like bananas when / eat--

You're just gargling banana.

Can l please throw this away?

No, don't take it off with a chip.

That's gross.

l don't want to meet people.

l feel like it's gonna take a long time and l'm not gonna know

what to say to them...

Because they're all video gamers...

And l'm not.

l know, but you're not some antisocial freak

who can't meet people and say ''hi'' to strangers.

But l don't really...

These are my... friends and my people that l work with.

l know. l want to meet them.

l just don't want to meet them...today.

But when are we... O.K.

We're not gonna come back.

l'd rather meet them in a social situation.

What social--

l don't meet them in a social situation.

l don't know them outside of this space.

But you said you might have, like, um...

A work gathering at some point.

Probably not.

Why not?

Not that you're gonna be at.

Well, l don't know. l just feel weird.

O.K.

Well, then let me go...

so we can get out of here as soon as possible.

- Go. - O.K.

Let's roll.

Are you done?

l am done.

That took a while.

l'm just saying...

lt didn't seem like you were just dropping something off.

O.K., l'm sorry.

Well, were you?

Were you just dropping something off?

l don't know how to answer that question.

Was l lying to you or was that all that l did?

My brother called, so l talked to him for a second.

What did he say?

So that wasn't just ''dropping something off,'' l guess.

ls that what you're asking, though?

Or are you asking was l lying to you

and l didn't just have something to drop off?

Don't attack me. l wasn't the one who lied.

Well, what the fuck's with the tone and the attitude?

Well, you said you had to drop something off

and then you're in there for like--

''That took a while.''

Well, it did! lt took 1 0 minutes.

You said you had to drop something off.

lt's been 1 0 minutes since you went in there.

l don't even care. Let's just go.

lt looks like it's... clearing up.

Well, it doesn't matter. We're not in any kind of rush,

because we're not gonna have dinner with my brother tonight.

Why?

Because they have a fucking baby and because he called

and he said that they can't have dinner tonight,

so we got moved to tomorrow night.

l didn't know that.

Don't get upset. l didn't know that.

O.K., but l feel like you've been fucking pissy

about this whole thing.

l'm sorry that l had to come by here today.

l thought buying you lunch was like...

l don't care if you buy me lunch.

l just didn't...

Like, l can't believe you didn't deal with this yesterday.

That's it.

l came to get you from the airport.

l couldn't stay late yesterday.

Yeah, or anytime earlier this week.

l don't wanna fight about it.

Let's just go.

Did you do any other work here?

Are you still fucking asking this?!

l'm not... O.K., never mind.

lt makes me dizzy.

Come do it with me.

l like that.

Just be fun for a second.

Put down the umbrella and be fun with me.

Well, you put it down, but you're not being fun with me.

l don't respond to sarcastic fun!

Stop!

l don't respond to sarcastic fun!

lt's not funny when it's not meant with sincerity!

You didn't mean that sincerely!

l don't want to do it if you're just doing it out of anger--

l only want to do it if you're actually gonna have fun,

and right now you're just fucking making fun of me,

and l don't think that's funny!

Too hard!

You touched me hard!

That wasn't gentle!

lt's 'cause l'm sick of you fucking crying

every time it's not perfect.

l don't cry every time it's not perfect!

Every time that it's not perfect, / fix it!

Every time that it's not perfect and we haven't seen each other

for three months, / make sure that / save my money

and buy a ticket and / make sure that l get my work done,

so we spend time together.

Every time it's not perfect, / fix it!

Once in a while, l cry.

Don't worry.

l won't cry the rest of the weekend.

Don't worry. This will never happen again.

You'll never have to see me cry.

Don't worry. lt's not gonna be a problem.

l won't cry.

l'm sorry.

Sorry.

l'm not mad at you. l'm sorry too.

l just want to go home. Let's go.

But not like that.

l just want to go home.

l don't care.

l'm not sure she recognizes us at all yet.

Actually, l kind of, like,

don't want her to be like the kind of girl that likes, like,

a beard guy... You know?

lt's, like, kind of weird.

You're training her?

Yeah, she'll be, like, listening to Lynyrd Skynyrd.

How conscious are you guys... are you of that at all times?

Of the beard thing?

No, of messing up Little Baby Alice for the rest of her life.

l'm sure we've messed up Baby Alice already.

But do you think about it?

l mean, do you lose sleep at night?

The thing that l worry about is l think

about, um, whether she's getting smarter all the time.

''Am l doing the right thing?''

''Am l playing the right music?''

Yeah, absolutely, all the time.

And, like, l'll put her down to do something, and l'll be like,

''That's, that's just lame.

l'm just leaving her there

to stare at nothing so that l can...''

And her brain's not growing,

and she's not gonna go to Harvard.

lt's gonna be my fault.

You think she wants it?

l don't know, l think she's chilling.

No, she wants it.

Bleh-bleh-bleh...

O.K....

Here you go.

Oop...

l got it.

- Can you fill this up? - Yeah.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

You O.K.?

O.K., all right.

Should l come and sit?

Yeah, come on over!

Did she get you?

No...

She's not taking to me.

You want to hold her?

Yeah, sure.

ls that O.K.?

Yeah.

You just want to watch that.

You're probably gonna have to put the pacifier in,

like, right away.

Here you go.

Yeah.

lt's O.K.

lt's O.K. That's Mattie.

No, it's O.K.

You O.K.?

She just... She just gets fussy

in the evenings.

Oh, no...

''No... No...''

No? You're not sure?

You're not sure.

That's O.K..

Oh, God.

Don't take it personally.

Madge?

Yeah?

What is it? What are you doing?

Does this seem like something you would want?

A plastic lion?

- Yeah. - Yeah!

Good.

Are you gonna... acquire one for me?

l'm going to try.

Whoa, thanks.

l've never seen one of these things.

We will see if the change from the hats and gloves

is enough to cover the plastic lion.

These are awful.

l'm just gonna start putting money in.

You have awful taste.

l think it's just gonna start as soon as l get enough money in there.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, my God.

Here goes.

This is so much machine for a plastic lion.

- Are you ready? - l'm ready.

O.K.

Good, the lion pressure's at 40.

Yes.

Go get it.

ls it O.K. to get it?

Yeah, it's O.K. to get it.

Ta-da!

And that's how babies are made.

Whoa... This is awesome.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

Have you named him yet?

Um... This lion?

Yeah.

No, what should l name him?

l don't know.

This lion.

Thank you.

Let's begin.

Your session is timed, but don't worry--

you'// have p/enty of time to get your picture just right.

There are severa/ categories

of exciting backgrounds to choose from.

Oh, my God, there's...

Use the se/ect button

to view the background choices.

O.K., choice one: color or black and white?

- Um, color. - Color, yeah.

Because we want to see that the lion is yellow.

O.K.

We should do ''naughty but nice.''

O.K. Press ''O.K.''

Now you are ready to pose for four sittings.

Sit back and position yourse/f in the picture

by pressing the up and down buttons.

Look between the ye//ow arrows beneath the screen.

Ho/d sti// and smi/e.

This is so loud.

You got to get him up in the circle.

Oh, it's not gonna show--

Place your face in the oval.

5-4-3-2-1...

O.K, three more settings.

You can now pose for your next sitting.

O.K., so, but...

Oh, God, it's going.

lt's happening.

Make an excited face.

l was in high school before l had ever had a girlfriend,

and when everybody else was...

having relationships and dating people and l had...

these impossibly high standards.

l never was in any relationships and l never...

For girls, you had impossibly high standards?

Well, l think for all people, but especially for girls.

And... l had all this, like, these lists of things that...

were important to me that a girl would have to meet, you know?

What was the list?

Well, l...

l don't know.

l don't remember all of it, but one, certainly...

Can you give key examples?

Yeah, that's what l was gonna tell you

is that one of the things on the list was that she would

have to be somebody who l could

leave in a room full of my friends and,

like, go off somewhere and not be afraid

that she couldn't handle herself.

And l really like that about you,

that l never worry,

that l can always trust that when l go anywhere,

no matter who's around,

you're gonna be cool and everybody's gonna like you

and you're gonna impress everybody.

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

Good night, baby.

Good night.

l don't want to go tomorrow.

l don't want you to go.

This situation is...

not sustainable.

We gotta figure out what we're gonna do...

'cause l don't want to be in a different city.

Yeah.

That's no plan, though.

We'll make a plan.

You promise?

Yeah.

O.K.

- Yeah. - O.K.

l feel like l'm walking into something.

Step over.

You got all kinds of wires.

We just moved in.

Come on, this way.

O.K.

And stay put for one second,

and l'm gonna go close the door so nobody gets in.

You O.K.?

Yeah.

All right.

Turn to your right...

O.K.

And keep walking, oh...

Keep walking.

O.K., thanks.

And...

God, um, put down the suitcase.

O.K.

And...open your eyes.

So l'm usually right there when l'm talking to you.

Yeah.

So my sister and l were gonna have dinner tonight.

Uh-huh.

You wanna come?

Yeah.

Really?

- Yeah. - Sweet.

Of course.

She does know...stuff.

- You told her? - Yeah.

So...after we talked.

Yeah.

Whatever.

l got you a Christmas present.

You got me a Christmas present?

- Yeah. - What'd you get me?

l'm gonna make you guess.

l already have a tree.

You want clues?

Um...

O.K., clue number one...

O.K.

lt is something...

that you can use.

lt's functional.

Um, and...

Wait, should you ask questions and l say yes or no

or should l--

- Yeah, l'll ask questions. - O.K.

Um, is it...

ls it... ls it biodegradable?

Yes.

lt is?

l'm pretty sure.

My answer is ''eventually.''

But isn't everything?

Are there some things that are eventually not?

lt's half quickly biodegradable, half l-have-no-idea biodegradable.

O.K., um, is it...

ls it romantic?

No.

ls it...

Don't look over here.

O.K.

l'm buying it because l love you and because l know that you need it

and because it's something that you're doing

and it's two of it and it's...

New running shoes!

You got me running shoes!

Oh, my God, that's awesome!

Oh, thank you so much!

You're welcome. Do you like 'em?

Yeah, l love 'em.

Really?

Oh, these are perfect. Yeah, l love these colors too.

When you were in Chicago, l checked your shoe size.

Ah, this is perfect.

Yeah, this guy is not gonna last.

l know. They're busted.

This is awesome.

- Thank you so much. - You're welcome.

This is so great.

Where's the other one?

Right here.

Sorry that they're not wrapped.

They're awesome. They look so retro and cool.

Yeah?

- l like it. - Good.

You did good.

You chose well for a guy.

Oh, good.

l mean, for anybody, but especially for a guy.

Yeah.

l like them a lot.

l couldn't sleep last night,

so l went shoe shopping.

That's something to do.

l love 'em.

Merry Christmas.

Merry early Christmas.

Sorry l couldn't wait till christmas.

How are you?

Um...l'm a little...

l'm a little nervous right now.

What about you? Yeah?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Did you see my Lapis Lazuli bracelet?

lt's for honesty.

Really?

Yep... Personal honesty with myself.

- You know what? - What?

lt's gonna be good.

Like, whatever happens, it's gonna be good.

Yeah, 'cause l know l'm gonna look like you in 1 0 years.

Hell, yeah!

Right?

Oh...

You're a babe.

l feel like... you got legs for days.

Shut up.

l still wanna get my hair re-dyed.

You do? Oh, no, not yet.

Little longer, a little longer.

l really like it.

l wanna go to your place and go to your woman.

Yeah, Kelly. She's awesome...

Shit, here they come.

Here they come.

Gotta put the hat back on.

Thank God.

You guys ready to go?

Yeah, but first you have to get us warm.

You ladies have boyfriends?

We can't move.

l know.

You stiff?

Yeah, in the butt.

- ln the butt? - ln the butt.

There were times when l did feel pretty and l knew,

but, like... l derived this weird thing--

l don't know if l felt it most in college...

l think l felt it most in college, but, like, um,

that feeling of, like, l'm pretty and maybe that will

make people talk to me...

Mm-hmm.

But l was, l always had this feeling of, like,

''you have no fucking idea, like...

that l'm what you got coming,''

which sounds really...

which was really arrogant,

but l was like--

l don't know--

Like, you may talk to me because l'm pretty,

but when you start talking to me,

you're gonna get...

l'm gonna be one of the smartest,

coolest people you've ever met.

l don't know...

That sounds really arrogant, but, um, l don't know.

l think that l've always had a mental image of myself

that's not necessarily associated with the way l actually look.

l know what you mean.

Like l forget myself.

Right.

l forget my actual face,

and l think in my head l project some kind of confident,

handsome face, and then occasionally l'll see myself and go,

''Oh, my God. This is what you look like?

That's pathetic.''

But then l don't need to worry about it because l have a mental

handsome projection that gives me confidence in the world.

You know?

Yeah.

And it allows me to forget.

l realized once that my mom and l make...the same face

when we're disgusted by something.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

That's funny 'cause one time l realized that l make the same face

as my dad when l'm driving and l'm, like,

concentrating or looking at something.

What's the face?

l...l'm trying to remember what the face is.

lt's like... l don't know, l don't know.

l just felt myself do it one time.

And l could just feel that it was my dad's face.

l didn't have to look at it.

Or it was my impression of my dad's face.

Do you know that you make the same face as your mom?

Or do you just feel--

l just feel like it's the same face.

You feel like you're using the same muscles and--

l know we do similar things when we put on makeup too.

What things?

Like similar faces.

lf you turned out like your dad, would you be happy?

Yes.

l hope all the time that l'm turning out like my dad.

l think he's a great man.

That's really nice.

l have a totally unrelated question.

Did you say that you loved me because you thought that

that's what l wanted to hear at the time, or it was exciting?

Or did you feel it?

The first time that l said ''l love you'' to you?

No, l felt it.

l waited to say it.

l didn't do this with you,

but l have said it because l've been excited.

l would rather alienate somebody than say

''l love you'' and not mean it.

'Cause l think you gotta be kind of precious with things like that.

l, unfortunately, have not been as precious as l should be.

l'm probably guilty of being overly precious.

Here, l'm gonna fall and give you my weight.

Wait, no, no, no. You gotta get ready.

l'm really gonna go dead on you.

Like...

No, l want you to, like, lift me up.

Hold you up?

Yeah, like, l'm gonna go dead on you

and l want you to be able to hold me.

O.K.

A very small person can lift up a very heavy person

because they balance them correctly,

And you kind of use that theory with your own body

and then you apply it to your partner.

lt's really... You know,

l just thought that, like,

if l don't end up being pregnant and we don't get together,

like, you could just be...

l could just be... in your life, like...

This story of this girl that you maybe once

were gonna have a baby with.

Maybe you wouldn't even mention that.

Do you ever wonder how, like...

like, what story you're gonna be in somebody else's life?

You ever think about that?

You know what l mean?

Like, what's gonna be your soundbite for the next person?

Hey, baby, it's me.

Um, l'm in Manhattan now, so l was just calling to let you know

that l got here safely and that,

um, you should call me back now.

Um, call me back within the next hour if you get this.

Otherwise l'll probably be doing my interview,

and if that's the case, l will just call you back

as soon as l'm done with that.

O.K., um, l love you.

l hope you're doing good and l'll talk to you soon. Bye.

Hello?

Uh...hi.

James?

l was wondering if, um,

part of the appeal of these games is that, sort of,

modern life as we know it is so,

sort of, mundane and dry

and we never really find ourselves

in any life-or-death situations, really.

We tend to be driving cars,

or shopping in malls or sitting at desks

with computers and...

And so that maybe these games, you know,

fulfill some kind of...

intense excitement or somehow make us feel alive,

whereas in our day-to-day existence we never...

Don't really have those sensations of intensity and...

life or death.

l don't know if you experience it in the same way, though.

Like, you know, um...

The intensity of shooting someone in the game is not...

l mean, you know, l wouldn't even think that it comes close

to what it must be like to actually shoot a gun.

Like, l've never shot a real gun in my life, you know?

l've only shot a video game gun.

l'm sorry... l can get that later.

Um...So...

Yeah, l don't know. l think that that's part of it,

but l think that it's... there's something...more.

What were you writing? l noticed you were taking notes.

Oh, um, l was--

Are you publishing a secret interview for some other publication?

No, no, no.

l'm not. l was just sort of,

writing little notes about what you said or...

lt's sort of embarrassing.

it was mostly just, like, me saying,

''Oh, l didn't know all this stuff. l didn't...''

And it seemed like, all right...

You were writing that down?

Well, l was, like, l'm finding out things or whatever, but...

Um, do you want to... You want to go somewhere?

l'm sorry l invited you over

and then you just had to sit in a hotel room.

Oh, no, don't even worry about it...

Let's go... Let's go somewhere.

lt's probably, like, not best to just hang out here.

l know it's, um...

lt feels like...

- Like a hotel room. - Like a hotel room.

- Yeah. - l agree.

All right, um...

there's a place around here...

Do you want food or coffee or...?

- That's fine. - Yeah?

l just want to talk and say hey and talk to you,

so wherever's good for that.

O.K., sounds good.

Hey, Mattie. lt's James.

Um, hey...l'm almost finished with what l need to do here,

so, um, l was calling to...

'cause you said that maybe

you would have some time tonight to hang out or something.

So what l have to do is go to that photo shoot later

and l don't know what your plan is,

but it's sort of over in your neighborhood, so l was thinking

that maybe l could come over to your place first

and we can hang out a little bit.

And then also l was gonna say you're welcome to come

to the photo shoot with me because l was thinking that might be

something that would be fun or funny or something to do.

So anyway, call me back.

l'm about to go back in,

l have one more thing that l have to do here,

so if l don't pick up, l'll just call back.

But leave a message and let me know

what you think so l can, um, plan that out a little bit.

O.K., l hope you're doing good and l'll talk to you soon. Bye.

Yeah, um...

So nobody's home and...

What are you trying to say?

Nothing, l'm just sort of analyzing the space

to see if there's anything embarrassing, right off the bat.

You had all day to figure that out.

l know, but l just... lt's pressure now.

Do you want me to lock this?

No. That's good. l think we're good.

O.K. l don't see any--

This room looks different to me.

Have you lost roommates?

No, no, she's still there.

l just...

Oh, don't close the computer.

No, it's O.K.

l want to read something.

No, there's nothing--

Have you been working all day?

Yes, l have, but there's nothing--

Come on.

No, uh... Please, please don't.

- Really? - Yeah.

Why?

Uh, l don't like people to read stuff.

l don't...

Sorry, l'm, like, kind of out of it.

l've been alone, writing, so...

You want to come with me to this photo shoot?

Yeah, totally.

l look kind of like a...

member of a... '80s band.

l want to do it like rockabilly or something.

O.K.

Hold on. All the electricity might blow.

Let me see.

Well, this is the shirt.

That's...

All right, we're getting there.

l have jeans.

Do you have dark jeans like this?

Awesome.

l'm sorry. l really wish l could show it to you,

but l just can't...

'cause then l'd never be able to see you the rest of the weekend.

You couldn't make eye contact with me

if you knew that l had read that stuff?

lt's hard enough as it is.

What does that mean?

- Nothing. - Why'd you say that then?

Well...

Anyway, um, actually, uh...

Do you want to think about getting out of here soon?

Yeah.

No, um, l actually was hoping that, um...

l don't know if this is, like, weird, and l...

On the subject of writing and like, you know

how you've read my reviews and all that?

And that's fine, l'm fine with you reading that.

But, like, the poetry, the short stories...

Anyway, um... This is...

l don't...

l'm trying to say something...

O.K.?

l'm listening.

O.K., um, so this is, like...

Uh... l...

l don't know what, um, like,

l don't know what my next, um,

gig is in that... in the review section,

and l was wondering if...

l just thought of it

'cause, you know, we're gonna go

to the photo shoot for the thing,

so l was just, like,

thinking that if, if you could...

Uh... lf l... lf you wouldn't mind if l could have, like, um,

like the, the telephone number or, like, e-mail or whatever,

um, of that, of that reporter yesterday,

because l'm doing that kind of stuff,

and that would be really great.

ls that weird?

That's what you just got all worked up about?

You ready to go?

Yeah, totally.

Let's do it.

You look good. You're ready.

Thanks, you look good too.

Thank you, l look just like you.

That's what l mean.

O.K.

Just give me one second...

to do this real quick.

lf you just go in that other room,

l'll just meet you out there.

Do you mind just closing the door for a second?

l'm just gonna...

l'm just gonna, like, adjust myself, and put on a...

Actually l'm not wearing a bra, but...

Does it matter which one?

No, l have one in the camera now,

so just keep that on you in case l run out.

What do l do?

Do l smile or do l be serious?

Right now, you can do whatever the hell you want,

and then when l've got the lighting right,

then l'll direct you.

Can you slide the chair, like, behind me?

l like the way that you're directing him.

- Really? - And so do it...

God, well...

Career opportunities cropping up all the time.

Not this way. Right here.

O.K., O.K.

Perfect. l like that one.

Ooh, that's good.

Oh, that's nice. l like that.

l think it's very you.

Yeah.

Try to look like you're... Look at your girlfriend.

- What's that? - Look at your girlfriend.

O.K.

Try not to look so goofy. Bring your chin up a little.

Come on, help me.

Why don't you look like...

Help me look dignified.

Why don't you just look like you just got caught.

Go like this.

Like, try...

No, and then you're scared,

like that you're trying not to make an expression.

Bring your face this way.

l feel like they're only gonna write nice things

about you because l feel like that would be really mean to say,

''Oh, we're gonna have... a photo shoot.''

lt would be like tricking you.

lt would be like, ''We just want to take a picture--

So people can see what you look like

when we write bad things about you.''

l don't think they ever do that.

- l don't think they would. - No.

lt doesn't mean they'll say good things.

Yeah, l agree. l don't think l'm being tricked.

Are you in on this?

No... All l do is take pictures.

l get hired to show up and take the pictures.

Actually, l would really like to see

pictures of the two of you guys together.

- Really? - l think it would be fun.

This wasn't my idea.

l mean, they couldn't use it for The Times...

Get in here.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

We gotta put these matching outfits to good use.

Oh, that's cute.

l didn't realize you guys were matching.

l feel weird.

l didn't do anything to deserve this.

l didn't make a video game.

But these are just pictures for the two of you guys.

These are for us. Shut up.

You guys look like a really cute couple.

Yeah, we're a really cute couple.

- Stop ruining it. - Couple of what?

All right.

Oh, that's cute.

Maybe you put your hands also in her back pockets.

ln each other's back pockets.

We're just doing...

l look like l'm stealing something from you.

lt looks like you're grabbing some booty.

lt's cute.

O.K., be serious, both of you.

Perfect.

l might've been too serious.

Can l try one more?

Oh! lt looks like you guys are gonna kiss.

You guys should kiss.

l don'wanna, l don'wanna...

We'll do one more serious.

O.K.

You were laughing.

l like that. You're looking up at him adoringly.

You were looking up at me adoringly?

No, she's a liar.

You direct...totally.

Can we go back to, like,

the one where l said you guys should be kissing?

lt'll be cute.

- O.K. - No?

And what do you mean by that?

Face each other and kiss.

You mean we should be kissing and cute?

All right.

Cute!

You just gotta put your hands somewhere else,

like maybe put your hands around his shoulders.

Like this?

Yeah.

Cute.

You guys have swapped a lot more cooties than that, l bet.

- That's a good one. - That's a good one?

Yeah.

Hiding in shame.

- Do it with me. - O.K.

lt would be like... Get in the back.

lt would be like this.

Uh-huh.

And, like, there'd be a boy in front of me

and then a girl in front of him.

And it would be like, ''Let me see you tootsie roll!''

- ''To the left, to the left...'' - That's so obscene.

And everybody would be doing it, and there would be

30 kids humping each other.

And it's called a ''freak train?''

lt's called a freak train.

l can't ever remember doing that.

l was more like slow-dancey,

and it was more like arms on waist and then maybe...

Not butt, you know, but, like, maybe move in for, like--

- Yeah. - That kind of thing.

- No, l didn't do that. - No?

l did do a freak train once.

l do remember once...

l don't know why we're talking about this, but l do remember once...

l wanted to dance with this guy -

this guy, Matteo Shoro.

And it was in... Did l tell you this story?

Mm-mmm.

l can't remember what stories...

Anyway... And we were doing...freak dancing,

but just the two of us and he...

We were, like, our rhythms were off.

Like, l was swinging this way and he was swinging the other way,

so our knees kept knocking.

lt was like, boom, boom, boom.

lt was just all wrong.

And then, um... And then...

Uh...

l don't know.

You don't know how that story ends?

No.

l guess the end of that story

is that l still feel embarrassed when l think about it.

We danced a whole song with the rhythm off.

Anyway, um...

l should go wash my face or something.

My eyes were closed and all l felt was, like, like, hair.

Sensation on your forehead.

And l was, like, it's a monkey.

lt's attacking.

What's that move?

- What are you doing? - Guess who l am?

You're a tree kangaroo... Sleeping.

A baby one.

l know. They're so cute.

- Good night. - Good night.

Um...l should...

Um...

l'm gonna go--

Wash your face?

Wash my face. And, um...

Yeah.

What are you doing? What are you doing?

What?

Hey.

Oh, God, l thought...

l thought this would be really funny if l wore this robe

and it's not funny and, uh, it's not funny.

l just thought, wow, it's so weird hotels have robes and...

Do, do-do...

Where are you going?

l'm gonna go back. l'm gonna change.

Wait, no, no, no. Come here, come here.

- No, no, l'm wearing a robe. - Hey, come here.

Still wearing a weird robe.

What is going on?

Put your hand in your pocket.

Put your hand in your pocket.

Put your hand in your pocket, in your robe pocket.

O.K., that just made it funny.

Let's do it all again.

No.

No, no, no.

- Shut up. - Watch, watch, watch, O.K.?

Hey...

That's what l'm talking about.

That's comedy, yeah.

l still feel a little weird about this.

You can feel weird, but you better sit down here

and eat some pizza with me because l'm feeling hungry.

Yeah, l'll put my--

Drop 'em.

Oh, man, l would offer to also put on the other robe,

but l don't think l want to.

Oh... l don't blame you.

l feel like a fucking idiot.

Well, look, l'm gonna leave you here to feel

like an idiot and you should start eating pizza

'cause l have to go make a phone call,

so l'll be right back and you can, uh, start without me, O.K.?

Here's the remote if you wanna watch TV.

Maybe you can turn it to the Robe Channel

and there might be some interesting programming on.

- Ohh. - Ohh.

O.K., enjoy yourself.

l hope you're comfortable.

l will be right back.

l will be feeling like an idiot...

in all ways.

- That's nice. - Were you scared?

- Oh, that's nice.

Were you scared today, of taking pictures?

No.

Was it scary?

- That one is nice. - lt wasn't that scary.

lt was fun.

That's funny.

You have your hands on my butt.

Yeah, l do.

Now l have my hands on your butt.

l still have my hands on your butt.

lt's funny that she posed us like that

thinking we were boyfriend and girlfriend

because we, we would never even pose like that anyway.

Never do that, like, never, ever.

lt's really weird, right?

- Why did we get all serious? - l don't know.

That's cute.

She kept saying you were looking at me longingly.

You remember she kept saying that?

That's not even true.

Nuh-uh.

Your hands are really cool there.

Yeah, they're so much closer.

This one's lit and that one's not lit.

How weird.

Oh, man, how weird.

l'm really squishing your nose. Look at that.

l know, it's so funny.

Aww.

How weird that these pictures exist.

l know, totally.

They're like, they're like present us, only, like,

acting out past us, right?

They're, like, out of time.

They're weird.

That one's really good.

lt's good.

lt's, like, less jokey.

Mm-hmm.

Hey...

Hey.

Hold on, hold on.

Hold on, baby.

Come here.

Come here, baby.

Lift your head up.

l just wanna feel you.

Yeah?

Yeah.

l want you to feel me.

You wanna fuck me?

- What? - Do you want to fuck me?

l like kissing you, baby.

- Yeah? - Yeah, you feel good.

Can l fuck you?

Yeah... You wanna fuck me?

l wanna fuck you.

Of course you can fuck me.

O.K.

Do you want to be on top of me?

- Yeah. - Yeah?

O.K., baby.

Do you want me to be on top?

- Sure. - Yeah?

O.K.

l'm gonna take this off, O.K.?

O.K.

Let me take this off too, O.K.?

Yeah, yeah.

Hold on.

Oh, yeah, that's good.

That's good, that's good...

Oh, yeah...

O.K.

Oh, yeah...

Yeah...

Yeah, l don't know, it's...

Look, hey...

Can you...

Do you think you can get me wet?

Yeah, what do you want me to do?

Like, lick me.

- Do you think that's... - Yeah.

Why don't you bring yourself up here?

You...

Slide yourself up here.

No. l don't... No.

What do you want me to do?

l don't like that.

You know that l don't like that.

Why don't you...

Why don't you come...

- Just lay down with me? - Let me just try it again...

Hey, come here.

What? Where do you want me to go?

l want you to come lay down here.

We don't have to have sex right now.

We can just lay down and--

Lay down and what?

And relax...

And we can have sex later.

Later?

We're gonna relax and have sex later?

What are you doing?

l'm trying to hold you.

l gotta go.

l gotta go.

l gotta go.

O.K.?

You gotta go.

l gotta go.

l gotta go.

lt's gonna be O.K.

O.K.?

l gotta go.

Come here.

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