Original subtitles

[dramatic bagpipe and drum music plays]

♪

[Sam] Scotland...

[sprightly music plays]

it's an ancient land with incredible history and tradition...

♪

castles,

warriors... [man yells]

[both] Yeah!

[Sam] and battlefields.

♪

[Graham] It is a land of dark secrets,

one-of-a-kind music...

♪

delicious bounty,

and some of the warmest,

most welcoming people in the world.

♪

[Graham] A land that is cut through

with lochs and rivers and valleys and mountains

that altogether weave, like, some kind of

- tartan kilt. - Oh, I knew you were gonna go there.

- That was beautiful. - Into a beautiful fabric which is called...

Scotland.

Scotland.

♪

Synced & corrected by minouhse www.addic7ed.com

[rain pattering]

[engine turning over]

[engine revving]

- [Sam] On the road. - [Graham] It's happening.

Finally, we are on the road, mate.

Born in the crucible of our imagination,

we have finally manifested...

A TV show.

Men in Kilts.

- Men in... - In...

- Kilts. - Kilts:

a Roadtrip with Sam and Graham.

[bright guitar music plays]

[Graham] Let the roadtrip begin, Sam. I think we need to bless the van.

[Sam] Bless this van.

[Graham] We love you, van.

I've given you maps to eat.

Please look after us. Be good to us.

Because we're going on the trip of a lifetime.

[dramatic music plays]

[Dougal] Have you no welcome for your beloved uncle?

- Dougal! - Ah!

[Sam] You know, we were lucky enough

to work together on a show...

- You look well, lad. - Aye.

- Outlander. - Outlander.

You are the interloping nephew

that is just a bit of a...

pain.

James Alexander

Malcolm MacKenzie Fraser.

[soft music plays]

Well, if you two are quite finished.

[Graham] I am the war chief.

You can call me MacKenzie iffen it please you.

But if we're being formal, you can call me Chief MacKenzie.

[tense music plays]

Well, I don't know about the rest of you, but I failed to understand

a single word the creature said.

I love Scotland,

and I've spent a lot of time here, obviously, shooting Outlander

and, along that period, have seen

some amazing locations, incredible places,

experienced some great things, and I kind of wanted to share it with everyone.

Yeah, I feel that too.

And I think that you and I,

well, we've got the same thirst for adventure as our characters.

I have been waiting for the day

when we would fight together on the same side

for Scotland.

[Graham] The Outlander is a wonderful show,

but what is portrayed in the show

is truthful in-in many ways.

- Mm-hmm. - But it is still...

Time travel is truthful.

- Yeah. - Oh.

Yeah, I wasn't necessarily thinking

- of the time travel bit, but... - Oh.

the truth about Scotland is so much more interesting, I think,

and more exciting than anything that could be portrayed in any fiction.

[Graham] For example, on Outlander,

we didn't really tap into the more, well,

distinguished portion of our palate.

Quite the appetite.

I should think you'd eat grass if there was nothing else.

I have.

Doesna taste bad, but it's not very filling.

[Sam] But in Scotland, the food is actually quite glorious.

The national dish is haggis,

a savory meat pudding

with a sheep's heart, liver, and lungs

traditionally cooked while encased in the animal's stomach.

Delicious, though not for everyone.

[Graham] But Scotland's cuisine doesn't stop with haggis.

The country's highland landscapes

and clear coastal waters

are fertile ground for everything

from Angus beef and Ayrshire potatoes

to mouth-watering salmon, oysters, and langoustine.

[lively music plays]

[Sam] Our roadtrip therefore begins

with a tour of Scottish food and drink.

First stop: the capital city of Edinburgh.

This is where I grew up as a teenager.

In recent years, though,

Edinburgh has become renowned for its fine food scene

and is home to four Michelin-starred restaurants.

And here is one of the greatest restaurants

arguably in Scotland and in the UK, The Kitchin.

Tom Kitchin is gonna make you your first meal.

- Hello, sir. How you doing? - Wow.

- [Sam] How you doing? - [Graham] Hello.

- What is that? - Oh.

[Tom] This is a halibut, a whale halibut.

I mean, it's one of the best fish

- we have here in Scotland. - [Graham] Ah.

And then we got some beautiful scallops from Orkney.

And each one of these has been hand...-

- Hand-dived. - Hand-dive.

- You take a knife, don't you, and you... - [Tom] Well, literally, we just take the spoon

in the top there...

and then off the scallop bit.

- [Sam] Oh-ho-ho-ho, wow. - [Tom] It's beautifully fresh.

[Tom] And some lobsters just in from Newhaven down the road

- which are just sensational. - [Sam] So these are-these are local.

- These are... - [Tom] Yeah, these are local.

These were swimming this morning, so when you were still having your breakfast.

And it comes in fresh every day.

That's what we're all about here at the restaurant.

I'm hungry. I'm salivating. This man is always hungry.

- I don't like sharing. - Okay.

[soft music plays]

♪

[Graham] Oh, yes.

- Oh, wow. - Okay.

Look at that.

[Tom] So we got a real taste of what's good in Scotland, okay?

- Oh. - Oh, it smells delicious.

[Tom] So the scallop here is really interesting.

It's what we call the scallop baked in the shell.

For the magic moment, we twist...

- [Graham] Oh, wow. - [Sam] Oh, no!

[Tom] the shell.

Stop it.

And then you can see the beautiful scallops

- are baked inside the shell. - [Graham] I'm gonna start crying.

This dish, I can't take it off the menu.

Every time I take it off the menu, people complain.

Please don't take it off the menu.

[Sam] Well, Scotland has, you know, incredible produce,

like, from-from seafood to...

- It's not just haggis, is it? - No.

You know, we have all this great seafood, and actually,

we don't celebrate it enough.

Oh, no, but honestly, it's-it's... The Larder is the envy of the world.

You know, as a young chef, I went to work

in three-star Michelin restaurants in Paris,

and the first thing the chef would talk about is the lobsters, the langoustine,

the grouse, the beef, you know.

[Graham] Really?

Everyone knows about our wonderful Larder.

And it's great now that people are coming and really we can showcase it.

- My God. - I'm actually quite jealous.

- But... - The scallops...

- Here-here we go. - I'm gonna dig into the lobster here.

[Graham] Oh, this is amazing.

- You enjoying that? - [Graham] It's amazing.

Mmm! Oh!

- Yes, I know. Yes. - So creamy, so... light.

[Tom] We got the lamb with courgette.

Now, these are courgette flowers,

which is really exciting for a chef, by the way.

But inside the courgette flower,

we actually have the braised lamb shoulder as well.

So tuck in, boys.

- It's amazing. - Oh, it's remarkable.

- Really fragrant. - I've got to take a bit of the sauce here.

- Here we go. Mmm. - Mm-hmm.

My taste buds don't know what's happening to them.

- It's just... - [Sam] Wow.

I could stay here all day.

Are we not staying here all day? I...

I'm afraid we do have to hit the road.

- No, actually, I'm gonna have a bit. - Get-get off!

Wow, you're literally pushing all my buttons now.

[Sam] It's time to leave the comforts of the big city

and go see Scotland's coastal bounty for ourselves.

[Graham] My taste buds are still dancing

from my-my experience with Tom Kitchin.

Yeah, it was kind of a religious experience for you,

- wasn't it? - A little bit.

Do you think...

when he grew up with that name...

Hmm.

I mean, he wouldn't become, like, a postman.

It's like if he'd been called, you know, Tom Accountant.

- He would have... - Become a plumber.

He...

Yeah.

- But now... - Now we head to fish.

We do head to fish.

- It's not a place. It's an activity. - No.

The things that we're fishing for are...

Compliments, mostly, about my driving.

[laughs] Very good.

[Sam] We're actually headed to the Kingdom of Fife,

a peninsula on the east coast of Scotland

that is home to five picturesque,

quaint fishing villages.

Our final destination is Pittenweem,

the most active of the five ports

and, perhaps more interestingly,

home of the first band member

to be kicked out of the Rolling Stones.

Uh, but anyway,

95% of what is caught here gets exported to other countries.

And we're gonna head out to catch some of that shellfish

for our dinner tonight.

[boat motor rumbling]

I do feel I should have got a bigger size pair of gloves.

I think they were really-that's a really good fit for you.

- Child's gloves. - It's a-it's a child's large.

That's it, keep going.

I don't know what I'm doing, but... I'll pretend.

[nautical fiddle music plays]

We're here with Captain Kirk on board the Charisma.

- What is it you love about fishing? - [Kirk] The freedom and the thrill.

Every day is a school day.

I mean, there's never two days the same at this job.

- [Sam] Oh, the birds are going crazy. - [Kirk] Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sam] I think we might have something.

Oh, it's coming in. I think we've got something.

- Ah, wow. - [Sam laughs]

- [Graham] Look at it. - [Sam] It's full.

It is bursting full of prawns.

Come on, Captain.

- Here we go, guys. - Here we go.

[Kirk] It's kicking.

Here they're all coming out.

Oh, my word. Look at that.

[Graham] Oh, my God.

Wow, there's langoustines and a lobster.

Hey, buddy, get over here.

- [Graham] Oh-ho-ho-ho! - Wow!

There's prawns. There's fish.

- Well, there's so much seafood here. - [Graham] There's so much.

- [Kirk] There's a nice one. - [Sam] Oh, wow, look at him.

You know, Scotland has, obviously, amazing seafood. You can see it right here.

You know, there's a real bounty here. But where does that go? Does it...

A lot of it's destined for abroad. A lot goes to Spain, France.

Some of the better-quality stuff goes to local restaurants.

- [Sam] And how much would they go for? - Anywhere about £100, £120 a box,

20 kilos, 25 kilos or so.

- [Sam] Oh, hi, bud. - [Graham] Wow, look at that.

- [Sam] Would you keep him, or you throw him out? - [Kirk] No, he's too small.

- He'll live to fight another day. - [Sam] Well, let's let him go, shall we?

- [Graham] There you go. - [Kirk] We're always looking to keep it sustainable,

so all the small kind of stuff, I try to put back.

[Graham] Yeah.

'Cause if you just keep taking and taking and taking,

then the stuff's just gonna get smaller and smaller.

- [Sam] Oh, my God, what is that? - That's disgusting.

- [Graham] Ugh. - Oh, I'm not hungry anymore.

- [Graham] Mmm. - Do you want to keep this one?

No! Stop it.

- Come on, just take... - Get just...

- [Sam] Take it for later. - [Graham] Just put it over the side.

[water splashes]

Well, thank you very much for taking us out.

- I-I-I'm excited to, uh... - [Graham] Eat them.

To try-to try some of you guys. You look, uh, delicious.

No, you don't have to say it to them, you know.

- I know. Sorry. - You could've kept that quiet.

So thank you for having us, Captain Kirk.

If you could take us back to shore, that would be great.

- Make it so. - [Kirk] Let's go.

You've been-you... "Make it so," seriously?

Have you been waiting all day to say that?

- Yeah. - Wow.

Yeah, I love Star Trek.

♪

[Graham] With enough seafood to cater a small royal wedding,

we headed back to shore,

where a very special guest was waiting to help us eat it.

♪

Well, we're here with one of Scotland's premier chefs,

- Tony Singh. - [Tony] Aye.

With some beautiful bounty I see youse got from the ships this morning.

We just caught these fresh lobster and-and langoustine

which look beautiful, don't they?

[Tony] Scottish lobsters are the best, the langoustines as well.

We've got some fantastic seaweed.

[Sam] You literally just pulled it out of the sea here down the road, so...

Yeah, do a fantastic seaweed butter with that.

Graham, if you want to keep creaming that together.

And we're gonna be putting some basic things,

'cause you don't want to mask the flavor of the langoustine.

We're just gonna put a little bit of garlic in there, some lime juice.

[Sam] What do you think of our impromptu, uh,

- kitchen we have here? - I am so impressed.

I'm really impressed with the charcoal stove that you've got going on here.

- Thank you. We built it ourselves. - [Tony] Mm.

Sam, if you can get that mortar and pestle,

we've got a little bit of coriander seeds,

'cause coriander adds that lemony fragrance to it

and a bit of texture as well.

[Graham] I'm loving this. We should do a cooking program.

All we-all we've done is cream some butter and grind some coriander.

It's not exactly Michelin-starred stuff.

All right, this is going in the butter as well.

- Yeah, okay. - Try to not get it on you.

Little bit...[coughing]

Yeah. Huh.

And then the seaweed.

And now what we're gonna do is get the sauce on for the lobster.

[Sam] Mmm.

[Tony] Extra-virgin rapeseed oil.

Garlic goes in.

[Sam] Oh, yes. Don't be shy.

I'm not kissing anyone today.

In goes the garlic.

- Local tomatoes that have just been chopped. - [Graham] Mm-hmm.

- [Tony] Chili powder. - [Sam] Chili powder.

And then some garam masala.

So garammeans "warm" in Punjabi,

- so it's warm and spicy. - [Graham] Mmm.

- [Tony] So while that's cooking out... - [Sam] That smells great already, doesn't it?

- Doesn't it? - Yeah.

We're going to, uh, send these to Valhalla.

- Okay. - Ah. Right.

- Okay, I don't... I'm just gonna... - We will, um...

- I might look away at this point. - Well, let's go over here and, uh,

talk amongst ourselves.

For those that are going to get cooked, we salute you.

- [Sam] Yes, we'll just... - [Graham] I'm just gonna look...

- Hey, look at that-look at that view. - Oh, look, is that a dolphin over there?

Wow. That's a seagull.

- Oh. There's a seal, look, playing. - Ah, yes.

- Beautiful. So beautiful. - Oh, that's so nice.

- Oh, that's the sound. - Puffins as well.

That's a lot of sound in the background there.

Is he finished yet?

[Tony] Could you give that a stir, please?

Oh, yes, I could do that for you.

- Thank you. - Where's your stirrer?

Where's your stirrer? Oh, there it is.

- Stirrer is there. - I'm on it.

- Okay, we're going in with the lobster now? - [Tony] Yes, please. Thank you.

- I'll just whang it in, as you say. - Whang it in, as they say.

[Sam] Culinary term.

[Tony] And we'll the langoustines straight on it there.

[Sam] You're just gonna put them straight on the grill.

[Tony] Straight on.

- Wow. - Wow.

Are you busy for the next couple weeks, Tony?

'Cause we could take you, uh, in the back of the...

I can come along. You just give me a shout, I'll come.

I'll be like Batman. You fire up the signal.

What would the signal be?

- I dread to think... - A langoustine.

- A big langoustine. - [both] Yeah.

[Tony] So that's it. Just cooked there.

[Sam] Are you putting our seaweed chili butter on...

- On top. - Oh.

So what we'll do is, once you peel them, just dip it in the butter.

Okay.

You know what I mean? It's a hard life.

- It's a hard life. - Oh, this is awful.

[soft music plays]

Oh.

- Oh, my God. - [Sam] It's sweet.

And you taste the sea. It's meaty.

[Tony] You've got lobster there.

There you go.

I'm-I'm... is that for me? I'm going-I'm going in.

Look at that. That's terrific.

It's dripping with the sauce here. I'm-I'm just gonna go for it.

♪

[Tony] We've done them proud. And these are langoustines.

- Mmm! [chuckles] - [Tony] Just done.

Thank you, sir.

[Graham] It's absolutely magnificent.

- You make it look easy. - [Sam] Mm.

But th-this is special.

Couldn't have done it without youse.

- Well, thanks. [Laughs] - You probably could have, to be honest.

In fact, you did.

[jaunty music plays]

♪

[Graham] I'm very full now.

- Are you? - Yeah, I am. I...

- Because, well, we've been eating a lot. - [Sam] I think we've eaten enough.

I think it's time to drink.

Not surprisingly,

the national drink of Scotland is whisky.

There are more than 100 distilleries currently operating in Scotland,

giving the locals and the tourists ample opportunity to share a wee dram.

But that popularity doesn't end at the border.

Whisky is the fifth-largest export in the UK economy,

with an average of 40 bottles of the stuff shipped overseas every second.

And yeah, we're sad to see them go.

[bright music plays]

Just-just a question. You don't need to answer it.

Um, would you say that you are

somewhat prone to overindulgence?

What?

[sprightly music plays]

♪

No.

♪

Gabh deoch.

I mean, it's daylight.

♪

The sun is out.

♪

- Yeah. - It's pretty early.

Hair of the dog.

You are basically a raging boozehound.

I think I may need the whole hound.

Well thank you very much.

Merci.

[Sam] To get a taste of Scotland's signature spirit,

we're headed to Islay,

a small island along the west coast.

Islay became a popular place for making whisky

centuries ago.

Thanks to its shipping access to nearby Ireland

and North America beyond.

Ten distilleries on this small island

produce smoky whiskies along a rugged landscape.

'Cause you know a lot about whisky, don't you?

- You're not-you... - I may have had one or two.

I used to think you were bluffing, but actually, you really do know.

I bluff. I bluff.

-I-I... -You actually know.

We are actors, right, so we generally lie a lot.

I mean, a few of my...

I-I remember, you know, horse riding:

"Oh, yeah, I can do that." "Of course."

My entire career pretending that I can ride a horse.

- Oh, yeah, absolutely. - Yes.

Anything that they say in the audition, "Can you do it?"

You're like, "Yes, yes, of course I can.

I grew up on a farm and was born in the saddle."

For this episode, I was born at a distillery, right?

And as I was saying, Islay whisky

draws its flavor from the environment itself.

You see, the main ingredient in malt whisky

is malted barley,

fermented in giant distilling tanks.

The clear alcoholic product

is captured and aged in oak barrels,

sometimes for decades,

which give it the final amber hue we're familiar with.

Before fermenting, though, the barley must be thoroughly dried.

[dramatic music plays]

Distilleries on Islay do this

by burning a fossil fuel called peat.

♪

The smoke rising up from the great furnaces

engulfs the barley chamber above,

giving Islay whiskies their signature flavor.

♪

But before the fires can be started,

the peat must be dug by hand

in the middle of a bog.

So we're in the middle of this vast peat bog.

It goes, I mean, pretty much as far as the eye can see here.

Basically, the whole south of the island

is peat bog, and so that's why

Islay has so many peaty whiskies in it,

because we've just got all this natural resource.

I mean, to me, this looks like mud.

What-I mean, what is this?

[Arthur] That's decomposed vegetation,

thousands upon thousands of years old.

[Sam] And so traditionally, the locals would burn that like fuel.

Yes, and this peat bog is 25 meters deep in places.

You get more smoke off the top of it.

And the deeper you go, more coalite, more heat.

So if you're cutting to flavor the malted barley, we want the bit at the top.

If you're cutting for your house, you want deeper.

And is this a traditional thing? Did you do this as a-as a child?

- Oh, yes. - [laughter]

Yes, yes.

[Sam] Many a summer spent here, right?

Many a summer evening ruined, having to go and cut peat.

Now, I do need to ask about this. Why is there a-a cow horn?

[John] So the horn is actually molded to my hand.

You would boil it in water

and then put your hand on it while it was still soft

so that it would mold into the shape of your hand.

- Wow. - That's so cool.

- So that's my horn you've got there, Graham. - Eh...

- So I put it here? - [Sam] Yeah.

- [Graham] Yeah? - [Sam] Not too deep now.

- You don't want to go too deep. - [Graham] Yeah, okay.

Right, so just get it there.

And a firm pressure. You want a firm pressure.

Don't thrust, firm pressure.

[Graham] Right, I'm holding John's horn.

- [Sam] Yeah. - [Graham] And I'm ready to dig.

- Oh, look at that. - Yeah.

That's it. That's it. I've got my...

[Sam] Oh, look, I think he's made a...

[Graham] Oh, he's bringing in the fork.

- Now, hold on. - [Sam] That's terrible.

[Graham] Hold on. Oh! There we go.

Teamwork, teamwork.

For your first day at the peat, that's not bad.

[inspiring music plays]

- Let's get a sweat on. - Yeah, yeah, it's a beautiful day.

- Come on. - I think we...

I'll get a wee bit of this.

♪

Oh, boy.

[grunts]

You like that?

[Graham] I'm so into this now. I'm gonna do a little bit more.

♪

[Sam] That is the master cutter, is it not?

- Look at that. - [Graham] Oh.

[John] You're a natural. You're an absolute natural.

♪

And how much of this bog would you like us to finish

before we actually get our whisky?

Oh, this is just one bank. We've got 16 here.

- Six-sixteen of these? - So 16 rows?

[John] Yeah.

So Arthur and I will go away and have a wee dram,

and we can just leave youse to cut.

Work up a sweat, and then maybe come back to the distillery.

[sighs] Okay.

Well, um, we better get to work.

- [Graham] Um, thanks, guys. - No problem.

[Sam] See you back at the distillery.

- Yes. - Perfect. Enjoy.

[Sam] Yeah, we-we will.

[breathing heavily]

You know, it's not that I'm against a little bit of hard work, but...

[Graham] Oh, no. No, not at all.

I just-I just feel bad, you know, taking another man's job.

[Sam] Yeah, let's go get a whisky, shall we?

- [Graham] Yeah, okay. - [Sam] Before they notice.

Yup, yup.

- That was very graceful. - [Sam] Thanks. Come on.

It's... Oh, God, it's getting very boggy here.

[upbeat music plays]

♪

[Graham] Small islands like Islay

often have only a handful of roads,

and the best way to experience them

isn't always by camper van.

♪

[Sam] So we took our time,

enjoying the scenic route to the distillery...

♪

where John said he had a special surprise in store

to thank us for all the hard work

he thought we'd done.

♪

- [Graham] I'm excited. - [Sam] Oh!

- [Graham] I'm very excited. - I can't wait.

[gasps]

- Oh, my God. - That's incredible.

[triumphant music plays]

♪

[Graham] This is like a... This is...

It's like a-a cathedral to malt.

- I don't know. I... yeah, I have... - To barley. [Sniffs]

- Oh, the smell in here as well. - Oh, my God.

Don't you-don't you have an overwhelming desire

- just to run across it? - Run into it and dive?

- Or is that really childish of me? - I-I want to do it.

- [John] Go for it. - This is... I can?

- [John] Go for it. - What? Really?

- Really? - [John] Go. Go for it, guys.

Yes!

- [Graham] Oh! - [Sam] Oh, it's heaven!

[laughter]

Oh, it's flowing. It smells amazing.

[laughter]

[sweeping orchestral music plays]

[Graham] We have found it, Sam, the holy grail.

We have.

- Paradise. - We have found our home.

- We're going to live here now forever. - Can we live here forever?

This... It's so soft.

-It's like... -It's like a bed.

[Graham] It is. You could sleep on it.

Have you ever slept on this?

[John] I-I could tell you, but I'd have to shoot you.

- [laughter] - Ah, good answer.

Maybe after a few, you have.

How long is the malt, um, in this process?

[John] Seven days.

200 years ago, every single distillery would have had one of these floor maltings.

It wasn't commercial maltings just down the road.

[bright music plays]

We've got the sea just outside that window.

So just through opening and closing the windows,

we ventilate this room with cool air off the sea.

[Graham] And everything just enhances the flavor.

♪

I'm never going to drink a Laphroaig whisky again

without thinking of this moment. This is fantastic.

You might taste a bit of me in that Laphroaig.

- I really hope not. - Ah.

Okay, let's go.

Yes, there's definitely a...

a bit there.

Hopefully, John doesn't see that.

Let's go. Wait for me, boys!

[soft music plays]

♪

[Graham] We've just started our journey,

but there's no better place to end our first leg.

It's perfect.

This is the 2019 25-year-old cask strength.

This would have been made the first year I started at the distillery as well, 1994.

Cheers to a great experience of Scottish food and drink.

[Graham] Your good self, your good health.

- [glasses clink] - Cheers.

♪

Oh.

I... The silence.

[John] That's always the sign of a good whisky. Isn't it?

[John] Five or six seconds of just feeling.

[water rushing]

[birds and insects chirping]

- [cork pops] - [glasses clink]

[Graham sighs] That was great.

What a great, great first leg of the journey, right?

- I really enjoyed it. - [laughs]

- I knew you would. - I really...

yeah, food and drink,

I'm glad we started with that, because it's put me in a really good mood.

Mm. What was your favorite part?

Tony Singh, I really enjoyed the outdoor element of it.

And he was just making it there in front of us; that was amazing.

But then with Tom Kitchin when he came out with that incredible scallop...

Oh, I think we both cried a little, didn't we?

I did. I did. There's been a little bit of weeping.

If that's the first one, we've got a lot to live up to with the... I... Whoa.

There's a lot of Scotland that we need to explore.

[lively music plays]

[laughter]

- History. - [Graham] The clans.

[engines rumbling]

[Sam] The landscape.

Jesus.

[laughs]

The music.

♪

- Sports. - Yeah.

♪

- Culloden. - [exhales sharply]

♪

- Am I doing the driving the whole way? - [barks]

- Uh, yeah, actually, you are. - Huh.

- I just feel more comfortable as the passenger. - Yeah.

- Because then I can moan and complain. - It's very entertaining.

- Cheers. - Cheers, mate.

[glasses clink]

[waves rushing]

- [Graham] I'm starving. - [Sam] Yeah.

I hope Tony hasn't gotten lost.

♪

- Question. - [Graham] Yes.

It's an age-old question, and I have to ask it.

- The question that I get asked the most... - Yes.

- as a Scotsman. - Mm-hmm.

Are you, Graham McTavish,

a true Scotsman?

Oh, aye, son.

Why, it'll be men in kilts,

but it'll be men in very little else.

Men in very little kilts.

- Ver... No. - Like mini kilts.

- Normal-sized kilts. - No, a-a mini kilt.

But what, are you going for some kind of tiny tartan miniskirt?

Men in mini kilts.

Synced & corrected by minouhse www.addic7ed.com