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1
00:00:08,530 --> 00:00:11,489
Meredith: No one ever imagined
we would make it this far.
2
00:00:21,456 --> 00:00:24,720
Incision-less surgeries,
4D imaging,
3
00:00:24,763 --> 00:00:28,898
mechanical organs,
stem cell therapy...
4
00:00:42,259 --> 00:00:45,132
Every medical innovation
seemed impossible,
5
00:00:45,175 --> 00:00:47,351
unimaginable
until it was achieved.
6
00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:55,142
And luckily, we haven't
stopped making advancements.
7
00:00:55,185 --> 00:00:58,101
Your recent COVID test
has come back negative,
8
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,625
your ABG's improved,
9
00:01:00,669 --> 00:01:03,106
your RSBI
looks promising,
10
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,847
and oxygen requirements
have decreased.
11
00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:06,588
If you keep this up,
12
00:01:06,631 --> 00:01:09,112
I may just try weaning you
off the vent later today.
13
00:01:09,156 --> 00:01:13,116
Because the other side
of the unimaginable is death.
14
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:14,639
And the pain
that comes with loss.
15
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:15,988
Man: Dr. Altman?
16
00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:19,818
Bailey said
you'd need some help
17
00:01:19,862 --> 00:01:22,125
covering the COVID ICU
since --
18
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:25,781
since we lost --Yeah, -
o-okay.
19
00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,919
And that side
never stops coming.
20
00:01:33,963 --> 00:01:36,052
We need some good news,
Meredith.
21
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,968
Please, just...
we really need some good news.
22
00:01:45,888 --> 00:01:46,976
It's you again!
23
00:02:00,990 --> 00:02:04,080
Captioning provided by
ABC Studios and ABC, Inc.
24
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,648
and brought to you by: Ford,
Built Ford Proud
25
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:10,782
Jackson:
You going in today?
26
00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:12,088
Day off.
27
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:19,313
Hey, if I say something,
can you not judge me?
28
00:02:19,356 --> 00:02:21,532
Because we're friends who bang,
not friends who judge.
29
00:02:21,576 --> 00:02:23,230
I have wrapped my head
30
00:02:23,273 --> 00:02:24,492
around the concept,
yeah.
31
00:02:24,535 --> 00:02:28,539
I need joy in my life.
32
00:02:28,583 --> 00:02:31,890
Val died,
33
00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:34,284
and DeLuca...
34
00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:36,199
I can't even say it yet.
35
00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:39,115
And I physically have
no more room left in my body
36
00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:40,203
for sadness.
37
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:44,338
So I am switching specialties
to OB
38
00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:48,255
and all I need from you
is encouragement.
39
00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:49,865
You thought
I would judge you for that?
40
00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:51,780
I literally spend all day
every day at work
41
00:02:51,823 --> 00:02:53,651
wanting to
walk out that door
42
00:02:53,695 --> 00:02:56,480
just to go off into the woods by
myself hiking for three months
43
00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:58,178
until there's a vaccine.
44
00:02:58,221 --> 00:03:00,745
There's not gonna be a vaccine
in three months.
45
00:03:00,789 --> 00:03:02,094
I'm sorry --
you just said no judging.
46
00:03:02,138 --> 00:03:05,097
I know,
but that's just ridiculous.
47
00:03:05,141 --> 00:03:08,231
Wait, so, you for real
about switching specialties?
48
00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:09,885
Yes.
49
00:03:09,928 --> 00:03:11,800
Wow.
Yeah.
50
00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:17,153
What was that?
51
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,763
In lieu of confetti.
52
00:03:30,775 --> 00:03:33,256
No.
53
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,997
The kids loved Andrew.
54
00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:36,259
He used to
play his guitar for them
55
00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:37,782
and teach them songs
in Italian.
56
00:03:37,826 --> 00:03:39,523
He brought gelato
to every birthday.
57
00:03:39,567 --> 00:03:41,525
And every half-birthday.
58
00:03:41,569 --> 00:03:43,745
Which all three of these kids
now think is an actual thing.
59
00:03:44,615 --> 00:03:47,314
I'm just so sorry.
60
00:03:47,357 --> 00:03:48,489
For all of you.
61
00:03:48,532 --> 00:03:50,230
Aunt Maggie!
It's your turn!
62
00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:53,320
Okay, Zozo.
63
00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:54,364
I'll be there.
64
00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:56,236
Know what?
65
00:03:56,279 --> 00:03:59,717
I think this crowd could benefit
from some new East Coast moves.
66
00:03:59,761 --> 00:04:01,632
Ndugu moves.
What do you say, Zola?
67
00:04:01,676 --> 00:04:03,243
Gimme a shot?Yeah!
68
00:04:03,286 --> 00:04:04,418
Alright.
Make room.
69
00:04:05,070 --> 00:04:06,289
Unh!
70
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:24,786
And I just wish I had the chance
to thank him for it.
71
00:04:27,615 --> 00:04:29,312
Do you think
that was okay?
72
00:04:29,356 --> 00:04:32,141
It's a video tribute for someone
whose brother got murdered.
73
00:04:32,184 --> 00:04:34,274
Nothing's "okay."
74
00:04:34,317 --> 00:04:37,668
But funerals
no longer exist, so...
75
00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,148
Do you want me
to record yours?
76
00:04:39,191 --> 00:04:40,932
I'm, um...
77
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:44,022
Yeah, just, um...
78
00:04:44,066 --> 00:04:45,110
No.
79
00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,724
And, later today,
I need you to meet a team...
80
00:04:49,767 --> 00:04:51,595
...from county
at the loading dock.
81
00:04:51,639 --> 00:04:53,945
We're giving them PPE.
82
00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:56,600
They're wearing trash bags
over there.
83
00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:00,822
Do we have extra PPE?
84
00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:03,520
We have more than others.
Which is extra.
85
00:05:03,564 --> 00:05:05,348
When was the last timeyou were home?
86
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:06,871
Hunt! Yeah, Altman.
Come in.
87
00:05:06,915 --> 00:05:08,656
Meredith's stable.
88
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:12,137
I'm actually gonna try to
reduce her vent settings today.
89
00:05:12,181 --> 00:05:13,051
I'm hopeful.
90
00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:14,575
Hunt,
how are we with beds?
91
00:05:14,618 --> 00:05:18,535
The normal COVID floor
capacity's at 80%, ICU is okay.
92
00:05:18,579 --> 00:05:22,191
Morale is pretty low
with DeLuca...
93
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:23,801
It's hit everyone
pretty hard.
94
00:05:23,845 --> 00:05:27,239
Well, I expect
DeLuca's autopsy results
95
00:05:27,283 --> 00:05:28,328
by the end of the day.
96
00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:32,419
You asked for his results?
Why?
97
00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:34,116
Andrew DeLuca
was one of our own.
98
00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:35,596
Obviously,
something went wrong.
99
00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:37,162
I want to know what that was.
100
00:05:39,251 --> 00:05:40,122
That's all.
101
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:49,392
Bailey, I already told you
every step of what happened.
102
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:54,441
Well after I could have donesomething to change the outcome.
103
00:05:54,484 --> 00:05:56,225
Shut the door
on your way out.
104
00:05:56,268 --> 00:05:57,400
Yes?
105
00:05:59,750 --> 00:06:00,664
Yeah.
106
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:01,883
Alright.
107
00:06:07,541 --> 00:06:09,934
Woman on P.A.:
Dr. Connor to the ICU.Thank youfor coming with me.
108
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,414
I wouldn't miss it.
109
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:12,676
I have privileges,
right?
110
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:14,548
My department,
my world.
111
00:06:14,591 --> 00:06:15,940
Dr. Gruber to the OR.
112
00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:17,377
Helm, what do we got? Dr. Gruber to the OR.
113
00:06:17,420 --> 00:06:21,642
Byron Gibbis, 52, foundpassed out on his front porch.
114
00:06:21,685 --> 00:06:23,905
He's febrile, tachycardic.I also heard a big murmur.
115
00:06:23,948 --> 00:06:25,428
Rapid COVID was negative,
116
00:06:25,472 --> 00:06:27,561
no signs of head trauma,but I did order a pan scan.
117
00:06:27,604 --> 00:06:29,127
Let's add a cardiac CT.
118
00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:30,825
Um, do you work here?
119
00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:32,000
Dr. Winston Ndugu,
120
00:06:32,043 --> 00:06:33,784
cardiothoracic surgeon
from Tufts.
121
00:06:33,828 --> 00:06:36,178
He's got Osler's nodes.
122
00:06:39,442 --> 00:06:41,749
My God.
My God.
123
00:06:41,792 --> 00:06:43,794
Byron, I'm Dr. Maggie Pierce.You're at Grey-Sloan Memorial.
124
00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:44,969
You were found unconscious,and an ambulance --
125
00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:46,362
Get away from me!Okay --
126
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,798
No, I'm serious.
Everybody back up, okay?
127
00:06:47,842 --> 00:06:49,365
I'm not getting COVID.
Where are my clothes?
128
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,322
Sir, please just --
129
00:06:50,366 --> 00:06:51,846
Everybody here is sick.
130
00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:52,977
God.
131
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:55,110
Okay, Byron,I know that this is a shock
132
00:06:55,153 --> 00:06:56,459
and I know
that you're scared,
133
00:06:56,503 --> 00:06:57,808
but if we don't geta look at your heart,
134
00:06:57,852 --> 00:06:59,288
you may not make it home.
135
00:06:59,331 --> 00:07:00,594
We have all been tested.
136
00:07:00,637 --> 00:07:02,900
If you need a maskor if you need a face shield,
137
00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:03,988
we can get you
whatever you need.
138
00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:06,208
But, please, just stay.
139
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:08,036
I was so good.
140
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:09,254
I didn't go anywhere.
141
00:07:09,298 --> 00:07:11,126
Let's get you ready
for CT.
142
00:07:13,781 --> 00:07:17,480
One minute I'm sad,'cause I think about his sister
143
00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:20,788
and his familyand what a great guy he was.
144
00:07:20,831 --> 00:07:23,268
Next minute,
I'm filled with guilt.
145
00:07:23,312 --> 00:07:24,618
Then I'm filled with rage.
146
00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:27,055
That a person could
147
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:30,754
do thatto another human being.
148
00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:33,627
I'm scared. Hopeless.
Sometimes numb.
149
00:07:33,670 --> 00:07:35,324
I can always go backto guilt.
150
00:07:35,367 --> 00:07:37,500
Guilt is my go-to.
151
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:40,503
My go-to is numb.
152
00:07:40,547 --> 00:07:42,505
Wow.
153
00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:44,855
Did you just describeexactly what was wrong
154
00:07:44,899 --> 00:07:46,509
with our relationship
in only five words?
155
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:50,426
I think maybe I just did.
156
00:07:54,125 --> 00:07:56,127
I just...
DeLuca. I...
157
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,742
I-I just can't
get my head around it.
158
00:08:09,924 --> 00:08:12,448
What is this?
159
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,189
Looks like whiskey.
160
00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:16,147
What was it doing
161
00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:18,628
on the top shelf behindthe fancy candlesticks?
162
00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:19,890
What were you doing
on the top shelf
163
00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:21,370
behind the fancy
candlesticks?
164
00:08:21,413 --> 00:08:22,632
Are you drunk?
165
00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:23,981
It's 9:00 in the morning.
166
00:08:24,025 --> 00:08:25,592
Plenty of people get drunk
at 9:00 in the morning.
167
00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:28,551
Yeah, well, not me,
Amelia.
168
00:08:28,595 --> 00:08:30,466
I live at home
with four kids.
169
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:32,990
Sometimes late at night...
170
00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:35,123
...I have a drink in the garage
and I play my guitar.
171
00:08:35,166 --> 00:08:36,385
We're in a pandemic.
172
00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:39,127
You drink in the garage?Do you hear yourself?
173
00:08:39,170 --> 00:08:40,345
Do youhear yourself?
174
00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:42,826
Hiding alcohol
is an objectively bad sign.
175
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:45,046
Or it's a sign that I'm trying
to be respectful of you.
176
00:08:45,089 --> 00:08:46,874
If you have a problem,you can talk to me.
177
00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:49,311
I'm, like, literallythe best person in the world
178
00:08:49,354 --> 00:08:52,314
you could talk to.Do you know stressed out I am?All the time?
179
00:08:52,357 --> 00:08:54,359
And now on top of everything,
if it wasn't hard enough,
180
00:08:54,403 --> 00:08:56,623
now I have to make sure that
I don't accidentally mention
181
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,363
that their friend Andrew
was stabbed to death
182
00:08:58,407 --> 00:09:00,017
by somebody
who sells children for sex.
183
00:09:00,061 --> 00:09:02,237
Okay, that is all of us.That is not just you.
184
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:04,805
And not all of us
have to drink to cope.
185
00:09:04,848 --> 00:09:06,676
You don't haveto,
or you don't getto?
186
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:09,331
Because I get to.
Because I'm not an alcoholic.
187
00:09:09,374 --> 00:09:10,637
I'm not in recovery and --
188
00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:14,118
Y'know what?
189
00:09:14,162 --> 00:09:15,598
I can't be here right now.
190
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,731
You're leaving?
Yes.
191
00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:19,559
Because I don't want to say
something that I might regret.
192
00:09:19,602 --> 00:09:22,039
Because I love you
and because I'm a good guy.
193
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:24,346
But sometimes, Amelia,
you drive me insane.
194
00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:25,608
And -- And this is
one of those times.
195
00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:27,567
So, yes, I'm leaving.
196
00:09:29,656 --> 00:09:31,222
And I'm taking this
with me.
197
00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:33,790
And,
just so we're clear...
198
00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:36,750
I'm coming back.
199
00:09:36,793 --> 00:09:38,752
Because
I'm not a bad guy!
200
00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:47,151
No pressure, Grey, but we reallyneed you to pull through this.
201
00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:50,198
This place
can't stand another loss.
202
00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:52,243
Are we ready?
203
00:09:52,287 --> 00:09:53,636
I'm gonna lighten
her sedation...
204
00:09:55,203 --> 00:09:57,771
...and then gradually
turn down all of her settings.
205
00:09:57,814 --> 00:10:00,382
And if she tolerates it,then we'll move forward
206
00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:02,123
with spontaneous
breathing trials.
207
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,733
Dr. Altman, I'm more
than able to handle this
208
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:05,343
with the
respiratory therapist.
209
00:10:05,387 --> 00:10:06,736
Maybe you should
get some rest.
210
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,651
I know how closely
you worked with Dr. DeLuca.
211
00:10:08,695 --> 00:10:11,611
Which has nothing to do withgetting Meredith off the vent.
212
00:10:19,836 --> 00:10:21,316
Come on, Grey.
213
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:25,581
Come on, Grey,
you can do this.
214
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:29,498
You look just like Ellis
just now,
215
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:30,891
the way you're looking
at your feet.
216
00:10:30,934 --> 00:10:32,066
So serious.
217
00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:34,285
Then she gets that
worried little brow.
218
00:10:36,810 --> 00:10:38,899
This is torture!
219
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:40,378
You're right here,
and I can't --
220
00:10:40,422 --> 00:10:41,684
It's torture!
221
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,686
It's a torture
of your own devising.
222
00:10:43,730 --> 00:10:45,296
You were always good
at that.
223
00:10:45,340 --> 00:10:46,950
Good at what?
224
00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:48,212
Torturing yourself.
225
00:10:48,256 --> 00:10:50,475
I don't do that
as much anymore.
226
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:57,874
You never
got to meet Ellis.
227
00:10:57,918 --> 00:10:59,484
We didn't even know.
228
00:10:59,528 --> 00:11:01,486
I wish
you got to know her.
229
00:11:01,530 --> 00:11:03,619
She looks just like you.
230
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,926
She breaks the rules
just like you.
231
00:11:05,969 --> 00:11:09,364
And she's quick to anger.
And quick to laugh.
232
00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:14,456
And she's smart and pensive
and stubborn, just like you.
233
00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:18,982
Hates pink and purple,
loves brown and green,
234
00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:21,202
and -- and gets enraged
at the thought
235
00:11:21,245 --> 00:11:23,117
of anybody wanting to
cut down a tree.
236
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:35,477
Is -- Is this thing clean?
237
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:37,566
People say you can't get sick
from surfaces, but you can.
238
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:40,003
We thoroughly disinfect the entire room
239
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:41,135
in between patients.
240
00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:43,703
Sir?Just --
I need a minute, okay?
241
00:11:43,746 --> 00:11:45,487
Can I leave my face shield on,
please?
242
00:11:45,530 --> 00:11:48,577
Sure.God.
243
00:11:48,620 --> 00:11:50,753
If you'd like,
I can stay with you.
244
00:11:50,797 --> 00:11:52,537
I can hold your foot or --No, no, no, no. I don't
want anybody touching me.
245
00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:54,148
Nobody touches me, okay?
246
00:11:54,191 --> 00:11:57,412
Winston: Osler's nodes,
so...endocarditis.
247
00:11:57,455 --> 00:11:59,675
Yes, but what is
the underlying cause?
248
00:11:59,719 --> 00:12:01,416
He denies
intravenous drug use,
249
00:12:01,459 --> 00:12:04,114
there's no indwelling catheter,
no diabetes --
250
00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:06,203
He said he hasn't left his house
since lockdown, right?
251
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:07,596
May I?
252
00:12:10,686 --> 00:12:12,253
Hey, Byron.Yeah?
253
00:12:12,296 --> 00:12:14,037
Have you had any trouble
with your teeth lately?
254
00:12:14,081 --> 00:12:16,910
I had a -- a popcorn kernel
stuck in my teeth,
255
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,346
and I picked it out
with a paperclip
256
00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:20,043
and -- and now my gums
are a little sore,
257
00:12:20,087 --> 00:12:21,610
but I-I'm not going
to the dentist.
258
00:12:21,653 --> 00:12:23,394
I'm not gonna lay there with
my mouth open for 20 minutes
259
00:12:23,438 --> 00:12:24,569
inhaling somebody's
spit droplets.
260
00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:26,571
No way.Bingo.
261
00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:30,488
Dental infection, which led
to bacterial endocarditis.
262
00:12:30,532 --> 00:12:34,188
Aortic valve abscess almost
completely blocking the valves.
263
00:12:34,231 --> 00:12:36,407
Helm, order some antibiotics
and book an OR.
264
00:12:38,888 --> 00:12:40,542
I thought of it.
265
00:12:40,585 --> 00:12:41,543
You just said it first.
266
00:12:41,586 --> 00:12:43,545
Yeah, I believe you.
267
00:12:43,588 --> 00:12:45,242
100%.
268
00:12:49,594 --> 00:12:52,423
Catherine: Were you looking
for me, dear?
269
00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:53,947
Yeah, I was.
Yeah.
270
00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:01,171
You know, I built my life,
271
00:13:01,215 --> 00:13:02,738
my sanity,
272
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,785
my sobriety...
273
00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:08,309
around the surrender
to a higher power.
274
00:13:08,352 --> 00:13:10,833
I mean, for me,
275
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:14,837
it's the belief
that there's some purpose.
276
00:13:14,881 --> 00:13:19,973
That there's
a -- a bigger plan.
277
00:13:20,016 --> 00:13:23,454
Something that if
I got all the way above it
278
00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:25,369
and could look down on it
279
00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,719
like, um --
280
00:13:27,763 --> 00:13:30,200
like a jigsaw puzzle,
okay?
281
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:33,290
That somehow it would --
it would make sense.
282
00:13:33,334 --> 00:13:35,945
My faith is rooted
in the trust
283
00:13:35,989 --> 00:13:40,297
that there's a -- a meaning
and a wisdom
284
00:13:40,341 --> 00:13:44,867
that I'm just not elevated
enough to see or understand.
285
00:13:44,911 --> 00:13:48,349
A faith that
whoever made this puzzle,
286
00:13:48,392 --> 00:13:50,307
it makes sense to Him.
287
00:13:51,700 --> 00:13:53,833
And it's beautiful.
288
00:13:56,574 --> 00:13:58,315
Today,
I'm -- I'm struggling.
289
00:13:58,359 --> 00:14:01,928
I'm struggling
with my faith.
290
00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:04,669
I'm struggling
to trust anything.
291
00:14:06,497 --> 00:14:12,547
And I just cannot
see any wisdom in this.
292
00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:20,337
I live
with stage 4 cancer.
293
00:14:20,381 --> 00:14:23,993
A cancer
very few people survive.
294
00:14:24,037 --> 00:14:26,691
I just got the results
from my latest scan,
295
00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:29,825
and...nothing has grown.
296
00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:33,133
It makes no sense.
297
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:34,525
Everywhere we look,
298
00:14:34,569 --> 00:14:37,964
someone is dying
that was healthy yesterday.
299
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:41,271
It makes no sense.
300
00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:45,101
"Puzzle"
is the right word.
301
00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:51,629
You can look for the pain,
the lost, the unbearable.
302
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:56,112
Or you can look
for the beauty, the grace...
303
00:14:56,156 --> 00:14:58,419
the miracle.
304
00:14:58,462 --> 00:15:02,249
And nothing grew?
305
00:15:02,292 --> 00:15:04,860
Nothing grew.
306
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:12,476
Okay, so, I know
that people buy and trade
307
00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:15,262
and get rich
and then just lose everything.
308
00:15:15,305 --> 00:15:18,221
But what exactly
is the stock market?
309
00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:20,397
It's a good thing you already
know how to live out of a car.
310
00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:22,182
Why?Well, questions like that
311
00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:23,618
make me think you're
gonna end up back in one.
312
00:15:27,535 --> 00:15:30,494
who is it?
313
00:15:30,538 --> 00:15:32,583
Link: It's Jackson Avery!
314
00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:34,237
I'm here for a quick bang.
315
00:15:34,281 --> 00:15:35,717
I --
Jo!
316
00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:36,805
I...
317
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:43,986
Shut up.
318
00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:45,901
Bad time?
319
00:15:48,164 --> 00:15:50,427
Crap.
320
00:15:50,471 --> 00:15:52,429
Hey.Really bad time.
321
00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:54,431
Um, I brought whiskey.
322
00:15:54,475 --> 00:15:57,086
We're day drinking.
323
00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:58,914
Sorry, dude.
I didn't realize...
324
00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:00,872
No, no, it's cool.
325
00:16:00,916 --> 00:16:03,136
Guess you're aware of our...
situation, then.
326
00:16:03,179 --> 00:16:05,268
Yep. Sweet deal.
327
00:16:07,009 --> 00:16:08,489
Here.
328
00:16:08,532 --> 00:16:09,881
No,
I'm on, call.
329
00:16:09,925 --> 00:16:11,753
Dibs.
330
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:13,668
Okay. Cheers.
331
00:16:13,711 --> 00:16:16,453
Happy...
332
00:16:16,497 --> 00:16:17,672
all-our-friends-are-dying
day.
333
00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:28,291
I told him we'd move as fast
as was safely possible.
334
00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:31,599
His echo showed
his ejection fraction at 64%,
335
00:16:31,642 --> 00:16:34,558
so hopefully his heart is strong
enough to have a good outcome.
336
00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:36,821
Who cleans his teeth
with a paperclip?
337
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:39,085
Isolation makes people
do crazy things.
338
00:16:39,128 --> 00:16:41,391
We're not meant
to be alone.
339
00:16:41,435 --> 00:16:43,741
People physically
need people.
340
00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:51,010
No, no! Don't --
Don't -- Don't touch me!
341
00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:53,099
Just back away!
Please, everybody, back away.
342
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:55,579
Nurse Linda: Dr. Pierce!I'm sorry.
I can't be here!
343
00:16:55,623 --> 00:16:58,321
I can't do this. I can't!
Get away from me!Dr. Pierce. Dr. Pierce.
344
00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:00,236
Dr. Pierce! A little help?I can't be here!
I can't be here!
345
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:01,977
God.I can't!
I can't be here.
346
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,110
I can't.
I need to get out of here!
347
00:17:09,811 --> 00:17:12,248
Okay, call security.
I'm gonna go to the elevator.
348
00:17:12,292 --> 00:17:13,510
You go to the OR board.I don't know where that is.
349
00:17:13,554 --> 00:17:14,555
It's --Did anyone lose
a naked man?
350
00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:15,512
Because he went that way.
351
00:17:22,302 --> 00:17:23,433
Winston: Byron?
352
00:17:32,529 --> 00:17:34,444
Hey, Byron.
353
00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:36,925
I'm -- I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
354
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:38,883
I can't do this.
I can't be here.
355
00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:40,668
I--
356
00:17:40,711 --> 00:17:43,236
My God, my masks.
I'm not wearing my masks.
357
00:17:43,279 --> 00:17:45,499
Honey, you're not wearing
anything.
358
00:17:50,547 --> 00:17:54,377
My best friend, Rory,
he was healthy as a horse.
359
00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:56,162
Never worked a day job
his entire life,
360
00:17:56,205 --> 00:17:57,380
he didn't smoke,
he didn't drink,
361
00:17:57,424 --> 00:17:59,208
he -- he ran triathlons.
362
00:17:59,252 --> 00:18:01,732
He got the virus,
he was dead in a week. A week!
363
00:18:01,776 --> 00:18:03,647
Wife and kids didn't
get to say goodbye to him.
364
00:18:03,691 --> 00:18:04,996
Do you know
how many people
365
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,650
they're projecting die
from this?
366
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:09,131
Hundreds of thousands.I know.
367
00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:11,307
And if you
want to walk out of here,
368
00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:13,135
I'm not gonna stop you.
369
00:18:13,179 --> 00:18:14,615
Wait, what?
370
00:18:14,658 --> 00:18:16,312
But I will follow you.
371
00:18:16,356 --> 00:18:18,358
Because your heart's
only gonna get worse,
372
00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:19,794
and I owe it to you,
373
00:18:19,837 --> 00:18:21,883
I owe it to my oath,
374
00:18:21,926 --> 00:18:22,884
I owe it...
375
00:18:26,670 --> 00:18:29,282
I lost someone, too,
Byron.
376
00:18:29,325 --> 00:18:32,415
Not COVID.
377
00:18:32,459 --> 00:18:34,156
But I know that pain,
378
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:39,074
and I know how unfair it is
and how enraging it is.
379
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:40,858
But I think...
380
00:18:43,165 --> 00:18:45,733
I think we owe it
to the people we lost
381
00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:47,691
to live the lives
that they can't.
382
00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:51,782
Even when it seems hard,
and even when we're afraid.
383
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:55,177
Byron, you have a problem
that we can fix.
384
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:56,526
We can fix this.
385
00:18:56,570 --> 00:18:57,962
But you have to let us.
386
00:18:58,006 --> 00:18:59,790
I don't want to die.
387
00:18:59,834 --> 00:19:01,009
I don't want to die.
388
00:19:01,052 --> 00:19:03,142
I don't want you to die,
either.
389
00:19:15,415 --> 00:19:16,372
Okay.
390
00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:18,461
Okay.
391
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:21,334
Let's get you
a gown first.
392
00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:24,554
She didn't even know
that she was pregnant.
393
00:19:24,598 --> 00:19:25,903
And then
we saved her baby.
394
00:19:25,947 --> 00:19:27,601
And then...
395
00:19:27,644 --> 00:19:28,993
she died.
396
00:19:29,037 --> 00:19:31,170
It's like,
during a pandemic,
397
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:34,129
shouldn't all the other
tragic crap take a break?
398
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:35,652
You're seriously
gonna quit surgery?
399
00:19:35,696 --> 00:19:37,045
I need some good things
in my life.
400
00:19:37,088 --> 00:19:38,264
And babies are good.
401
00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,440
You realize OB
is all about moms, yeah?
402
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:43,182
Yeah, who are happy
because they're having babies.
403
00:19:43,225 --> 00:19:45,401
Not having my own
any time soon --
404
00:19:45,445 --> 00:19:46,446
Fingers crossed.
405
00:19:46,489 --> 00:19:48,317
...or maybe ever,
406
00:19:48,361 --> 00:19:50,232
so I might as well hang out
with some others.
407
00:19:50,276 --> 00:19:51,581
I got like 15 of themat home.
408
00:19:51,625 --> 00:19:52,582
Hang out with those.
409
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:53,931
It's so unfair!
410
00:19:53,975 --> 00:19:56,760
You and Amelia
didn't even want a baby,
411
00:19:56,804 --> 00:19:58,762
and then you got one
and neither of you died.
412
00:19:58,806 --> 00:20:01,200
Poor you.
413
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:04,115
You're young and single
and dating a plastic surgeon.
414
00:20:04,159 --> 00:20:05,552
No, we're not --
not dating.It's just sex.
415
00:20:05,595 --> 00:20:07,597
And you can still work.
416
00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:09,991
Last time
my life sucked this bad,
417
00:20:10,034 --> 00:20:12,385
I quit medicine
and moved to Venice Beach.
418
00:20:12,428 --> 00:20:13,908
Yes.
The bike shop, right?
419
00:20:13,951 --> 00:20:15,214
Heaven.
420
00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,216
Jackson wants to
run away to the woods.
421
00:20:17,259 --> 00:20:18,260
Nice.
Can I come?
422
00:20:18,304 --> 00:20:19,479
No, that would defeat
the purpose.
423
00:20:19,522 --> 00:20:21,524
What isthe purpose?
424
00:20:21,568 --> 00:20:23,613
You kidding? Escape.
Outta here.
425
00:20:23,657 --> 00:20:25,963
Escape from pain and rage
and responsibility.
426
00:20:26,007 --> 00:20:27,574
Escape from humanity.
427
00:20:27,617 --> 00:20:29,053
I mean,
trees don't murder people.
428
00:20:29,097 --> 00:20:30,620
Trees are not racist.-
429
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:32,492
Trees do not
politicize a disease
430
00:20:32,535 --> 00:20:33,580
and convince
millions of people
431
00:20:33,623 --> 00:20:35,234
not to protect themselves
and others
432
00:20:35,277 --> 00:20:37,279
by using a simple piece of damn
fabric on their faces, so...
433
00:20:37,323 --> 00:20:39,238
Trees don't even
have faces.
434
00:20:39,281 --> 00:20:40,239
You know what?
Maybe you can come.
435
00:20:48,769 --> 00:20:51,293
Primary repair
of the stomach...
436
00:20:51,337 --> 00:20:53,121
...diaphragm,
splenectomy,
437
00:20:53,164 --> 00:20:55,297
and repair
of ventricular injury --
438
00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:57,995
all intact.
439
00:20:58,039 --> 00:21:00,650
Ultimately died
from coagulopathy.
440
00:21:00,694 --> 00:21:03,044
Like I told you.Well, now we have it
in writing.
441
00:21:03,087 --> 00:21:05,176
Which will make
the M&M go smoothly.
442
00:21:05,220 --> 00:21:06,917
The M&M?
443
00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:09,006
Bailey, what in the hell
are you trying to prove?
444
00:21:09,050 --> 00:21:11,095
It's Andrew DeLuca.
445
00:21:11,139 --> 00:21:13,315
He gave five years of his life
to this hospital.
446
00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:15,230
We own him due diligence.
447
00:21:15,274 --> 00:21:17,885
What about what you owe to your
doctors that are still here?
448
00:21:17,928 --> 00:21:20,235
The ones who've sacrificed
their lives to fight a pandemic,
449
00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:23,499
who hardly sleep or eat
or even shower,
450
00:21:23,543 --> 00:21:25,545
who see their families
on screens --
451
00:21:25,588 --> 00:21:28,635
Their faces are full of bruises
because of the damn PPE,
452
00:21:28,678 --> 00:21:30,898
and now you want them
to sit in front of a computer
453
00:21:30,941 --> 00:21:32,726
and be grilled
on whether they messed up
454
00:21:32,769 --> 00:21:34,815
trying to save
one of their own?
455
00:21:34,858 --> 00:21:36,599
Let them grieve,
for God's sake!
456
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:47,218
You are causing me harm.
457
00:21:47,262 --> 00:21:51,875
You are causing harm
to Hunt and Altman.
458
00:21:51,919 --> 00:21:55,662
DeLuca was a victim
of a horrible crime,
459
00:21:55,705 --> 00:21:57,664
and he lost
too much blood.
460
00:21:57,707 --> 00:22:01,798
No mistakes were made,
no stitch was missed.
461
00:22:01,842 --> 00:22:03,583
And the mere suggestion
that any of us
462
00:22:03,626 --> 00:22:06,760
didn't do everything possible
to save his life...
463
00:22:09,415 --> 00:22:11,547
...it's a pain
I wouldn't put on anyone.
464
00:22:24,604 --> 00:22:26,954
I want you closer.
465
00:22:26,997 --> 00:22:29,348
Could you please
just come here?
466
00:22:31,088 --> 00:22:33,526
Do you remember when
you were trying to teach Zola
467
00:22:33,569 --> 00:22:35,397
how to ride a bike?
468
00:22:35,441 --> 00:22:37,443
She got so frustrated
because she couldn't,
469
00:22:37,486 --> 00:22:40,184
and she threw it down,
and she goes, "Mama, you do it."
470
00:22:40,228 --> 00:22:43,274
And you couldn't stop laughing,
and she got so mad.
471
00:22:43,318 --> 00:22:45,189
Well, I was trying
not to laugh.
472
00:22:45,233 --> 00:22:47,627
So am I.
473
00:22:47,670 --> 00:22:50,978
I can't do it for you.
474
00:22:51,021 --> 00:22:51,935
It's your beach.
475
00:22:53,676 --> 00:22:55,591
Zola's amazing,
isn't she?
476
00:22:55,635 --> 00:22:58,942
I mean,
she's just so brilliant.
477
00:22:58,986 --> 00:23:00,422
She writes me letters
in her journal.
478
00:23:00,466 --> 00:23:01,510
Did you know that?
479
00:23:08,082 --> 00:23:10,301
Well, what is that?
What is that face?
480
00:23:10,345 --> 00:23:12,391
Would you start a surgery
with a face like that?
481
00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:13,435
No!
482
00:23:13,479 --> 00:23:14,436
No.
483
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,090
You would relax.
484
00:23:39,635 --> 00:23:40,984
It hasn't been that long.
485
00:23:41,028 --> 00:23:43,334
Maybe we could decrease
sedation a bit further,
486
00:23:43,378 --> 00:23:44,771
at least run another ABG.
487
00:23:44,814 --> 00:23:46,163
And hope she doesn't go
into cardiac arrest
488
00:23:46,207 --> 00:23:48,470
while we wait
for the results?
489
00:23:48,514 --> 00:23:50,298
I'm turning the settings
back up.
490
00:23:52,343 --> 00:23:53,823
Grey's staying
on the vent.
491
00:24:06,967 --> 00:24:08,055
How's the book report
coming?
492
00:24:09,883 --> 00:24:12,494
That was
one of my favorites.
493
00:24:12,538 --> 00:24:14,061
That's what grownups say
to convince you
494
00:24:14,104 --> 00:24:15,279
to finish your homework.
495
00:24:15,323 --> 00:24:17,847
You got me there.
496
00:24:17,891 --> 00:24:20,720
I'm supposed to write a whole
page about living forever.
497
00:24:20,763 --> 00:24:23,636
Mom says it's impossible.
So what's the point?
498
00:24:23,679 --> 00:24:26,856
Your mom is pretty smart.
499
00:24:28,989 --> 00:24:31,818
If I made a medicine
where you could live forever,
500
00:24:31,861 --> 00:24:33,254
would you take it?
501
00:24:33,297 --> 00:24:34,690
I don't know.
502
00:24:34,734 --> 00:24:36,126
Uncle Link said,
"Heck yeah."
503
00:24:36,170 --> 00:24:38,520
That sounds like him.
504
00:24:38,564 --> 00:24:40,740
Me, I don't know.
505
00:24:40,783 --> 00:24:44,265
I think the fact
that we can't live forever
506
00:24:44,308 --> 00:24:48,530
is one of the things
that makes life so special.
507
00:24:48,574 --> 00:24:49,923
Impermanence.
508
00:24:49,966 --> 00:24:51,925
I think if we could
live forever,
509
00:24:51,968 --> 00:24:54,449
we'd spend so much time
losing the people that we love
510
00:24:54,493 --> 00:24:56,495
instead of holding tight
while we still can.
511
00:24:56,538 --> 00:24:58,366
Impermanence.
512
00:24:58,409 --> 00:25:00,020
I like that word.
513
00:25:00,063 --> 00:25:01,935
Me too.
514
00:25:01,978 --> 00:25:05,242
If I had the medicine,
I'd give it to my mom right now.
515
00:25:05,286 --> 00:25:07,070
Me too.
516
00:25:09,116 --> 00:25:10,813
Hey,
you want to call her?
517
00:25:10,857 --> 00:25:13,250
Alright.
518
00:25:19,605 --> 00:25:20,562
Hello there.
519
00:25:20,606 --> 00:25:21,824
Can we have a minute?
520
00:25:21,868 --> 00:25:22,608
Of course.
521
00:25:24,697 --> 00:25:28,309
Hi, Mommy.
I miss you so much.
522
00:25:28,352 --> 00:25:29,832
I love you.
523
00:25:29,876 --> 00:25:33,706
Um, I've been writing
a page about living forever.
524
00:25:34,881 --> 00:25:36,535
How are you doing?
525
00:25:36,578 --> 00:25:38,145
It didn't work?
526
00:25:38,188 --> 00:25:40,277
Altman wants to try again
in a day or so.
527
00:25:45,979 --> 00:25:47,894
When I lost my wife,
um...
528
00:25:50,113 --> 00:25:51,506
...the therapist,
she said that
529
00:25:51,550 --> 00:25:55,118
there's no wrong way
to process the loss,
530
00:25:55,162 --> 00:25:56,816
the grief.
531
00:25:58,557 --> 00:26:00,733
But there is.
532
00:26:01,908 --> 00:26:04,040
Over a bloody computer screen,
it's...
533
00:26:06,086 --> 00:26:07,870
...it's wrong.
534
00:26:07,914 --> 00:26:09,524
Woman on P.A.: Dr. Lyon,
call the blood bank.
535
00:26:09,568 --> 00:26:12,135
Dr. Lyon,
call the blood bank.
536
00:26:15,878 --> 00:26:19,490
You know the rules.
Who deserves it?
537
00:26:19,534 --> 00:26:21,362
Deserves what?
Rules to what?"Make it Sadder."
538
00:26:21,405 --> 00:26:23,320
We tell our sob stories,
539
00:26:23,364 --> 00:26:27,063
and whosever story is saddest
wins the last shot.
540
00:26:27,107 --> 00:26:28,674
"Make it Sadder"?
That's fun?
541
00:26:28,717 --> 00:26:29,762
Yeah. Yeah.
542
00:26:29,805 --> 00:26:31,590
Okay. Alright.
I'll be the judge.
543
00:26:31,633 --> 00:26:32,634
I'll be the judge.
Alright, go.Okay.
544
00:26:32,678 --> 00:26:34,027
Alright.
545
00:26:34,070 --> 00:26:37,465
I am currently raising
four children
546
00:26:37,508 --> 00:26:39,859
in a hellscape of a world
547
00:26:39,902 --> 00:26:41,730
where people
don't listen to science.
548
00:26:41,774 --> 00:26:44,559
My parents are going ahead
with their second wedding
549
00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:45,821
even though
there's a pandemic,
550
00:26:45,865 --> 00:26:47,693
so they'll probably
get sick and die.
551
00:26:47,736 --> 00:26:51,087
And, my last shred
of me-time --
552
00:26:51,131 --> 00:26:52,480
sneaking an occasional drink,
553
00:26:52,523 --> 00:26:53,960
which was already
pretty pathetic,
554
00:26:54,003 --> 00:26:57,528
I know -- is now ruined.
555
00:26:57,572 --> 00:26:59,792
Strong. Yeah.
Alright.
556
00:26:59,835 --> 00:27:05,362
I had plans the weekend
that everything shut down.
557
00:27:05,406 --> 00:27:07,974
I had crawled out
of my depression,
558
00:27:08,017 --> 00:27:11,847
and I was all set
to start over by...
559
00:27:11,891 --> 00:27:12,674
going...
560
00:27:14,458 --> 00:27:17,505
...going on dates.
561
00:27:17,548 --> 00:27:18,549
Yeah.Aww!
562
00:27:18,593 --> 00:27:20,421
Okay, yes, yes.
563
00:27:20,464 --> 00:27:22,989
You guys,
I even bought outfits, okay?
564
00:27:23,032 --> 00:27:26,340
Hang on. Okay.
Okay.Alright.
565
00:27:26,383 --> 00:27:28,385
Let me show you.
566
00:27:28,429 --> 00:27:31,519
What do we have?
This is cute, right?
567
00:27:31,562 --> 00:27:35,436
The perfect thing
to declare someone dead in.
568
00:27:35,479 --> 00:27:36,611
What about this?
569
00:27:36,655 --> 00:27:38,569
This, for the, um,
career girl
570
00:27:38,613 --> 00:27:41,050
that just spent, um,
seven hours
571
00:27:41,094 --> 00:27:43,662
making more room for bodies
on the morgue truck.
572
00:27:43,705 --> 00:27:45,838
Or --
Or...
573
00:27:45,881 --> 00:27:47,622
How about this?
574
00:27:47,666 --> 00:27:51,626
This, for -- for
the funeral of a co-worker
575
00:27:51,670 --> 00:27:54,542
who got stabbed to death...
576
00:27:54,585 --> 00:27:59,025
who doesn't even
get a funeral.
577
00:28:03,507 --> 00:28:05,771
Okay,
Jo wins the last shot.
578
00:28:07,903 --> 00:28:09,600
No, no!
579
00:28:09,644 --> 00:28:10,689
Yes.No way. Unh-unh.
580
00:28:10,732 --> 00:28:11,907
Unh-unh.Thank you so much.
581
00:28:11,951 --> 00:28:15,781
She has an entire loft
all to herself!
582
00:28:15,824 --> 00:28:16,782
Mnh-mnh.
583
00:28:18,261 --> 00:28:19,306
Hold on.
584
00:28:20,220 --> 00:28:21,612
What's that?
585
00:28:21,656 --> 00:28:22,918
It's Richard.
586
00:28:22,962 --> 00:28:24,528
The memorial for DeLuca
is tonight.
587
00:28:27,357 --> 00:28:28,881
Alright, I'll drive.
588
00:28:28,924 --> 00:28:32,711
Let's, um, get ready.
589
00:28:32,754 --> 00:28:34,190
Woman on P.A.:
Orderly to 6 East.
590
00:28:53,862 --> 00:28:56,256
Hey. Just moved
Mr. Cabrera up here.
591
00:28:56,299 --> 00:28:57,431
Another complete white-out.
592
00:28:57,474 --> 00:28:58,345
How's Meredith?
593
00:28:58,388 --> 00:29:00,608
Um...
594
00:29:00,651 --> 00:29:02,175
It -- It didn't work.
595
00:29:02,218 --> 00:29:04,786
And I'm questioning
why I even thought it would.
596
00:29:04,830 --> 00:29:07,833
Well, DeLuca's autopsy results
came back.
597
00:29:07,876 --> 00:29:09,269
We did everything
that we could.
598
00:29:09,312 --> 00:29:10,923
I know that.
599
00:29:12,707 --> 00:29:14,927
And he's still dead.
600
00:29:26,634 --> 00:29:29,463
Hayes: Your kids call every day
on a video chat.
601
00:29:29,506 --> 00:29:31,030
Don't know
if you can hear them.
602
00:29:33,249 --> 00:29:34,773
Don't even know
if you can hear me now.
603
00:29:38,559 --> 00:29:39,952
You look perfect.
604
00:29:44,217 --> 00:29:45,696
Hayes:
Maybe -- Maybe
605
00:29:45,740 --> 00:29:47,829
it's none of my business,
Grey,
606
00:29:47,873 --> 00:29:49,657
but I'm begging you.
607
00:29:49,700 --> 00:29:51,050
Fight.
608
00:29:53,879 --> 00:29:56,011
That's up to you.
609
00:29:56,055 --> 00:29:57,665
But if you're asking me,
610
00:29:57,708 --> 00:29:58,884
you should hear him out.
611
00:29:58,927 --> 00:30:00,494
They need you, Grey.
612
00:30:00,537 --> 00:30:02,061
The little one...
613
00:30:02,104 --> 00:30:04,454
Meredith: Ellis.She looks just like you.
614
00:30:04,498 --> 00:30:06,761
She got
all your expressions.
615
00:30:06,805 --> 00:30:08,197
She doesn't smile
easy or often,
616
00:30:08,241 --> 00:30:11,331
but when she does, sweet Jesus,
it lights up the room.
617
00:30:11,374 --> 00:30:13,376
What did you do
to make her smile?
618
00:30:13,420 --> 00:30:14,421
You shoulda seen it --
619
00:30:14,464 --> 00:30:15,988
she smiles and she smiles,
620
00:30:16,031 --> 00:30:18,425
and it gets bigger
and bigger until...
621
00:30:18,468 --> 00:30:20,775
boom! --
she just bursts out laughing.
622
00:30:20,819 --> 00:30:23,299
What did you do
to make her laugh?
623
00:30:23,343 --> 00:30:25,301
Then her brother gets annoyed
because she's laughing so hard
624
00:30:25,345 --> 00:30:26,433
right in his ear.
625
00:30:26,476 --> 00:30:27,477
That's Bailey.
626
00:30:27,521 --> 00:30:28,870
And then the oldest one
comes in,
627
00:30:28,914 --> 00:30:31,438
and she takes the tablet
and says they're hogging it
628
00:30:31,481 --> 00:30:32,918
and that she needs
time with you, too,
629
00:30:32,961 --> 00:30:36,443
because she's the oldest
and she's your favorite.
630
00:30:36,486 --> 00:30:38,488
Zola.
631
00:30:38,532 --> 00:30:41,970
Then I hear a click and a lock,
but we're in darkness.
632
00:30:42,014 --> 00:30:44,799
Can't tell who has it,
'cause I can't see a face.
633
00:30:44,843 --> 00:30:48,368
But then I hear a voice,
and it's the oldest one.
634
00:30:48,411 --> 00:30:50,718
And she's
sittin' in the dark.
635
00:30:50,761 --> 00:30:52,633
She's in her closet.
636
00:30:52,676 --> 00:30:55,244
That's where she goes
to write letters to her dad.
637
00:30:55,288 --> 00:30:58,421
And she says,
"I'm really sorry, Mum.
638
00:30:58,465 --> 00:31:00,293
Didn't mean for things
to get so violent.
639
00:31:00,336 --> 00:31:03,252
Ellis can be
truly infuriating."
640
00:31:05,341 --> 00:31:07,517
They need you, Grey.
641
00:31:07,561 --> 00:31:08,910
I know.
642
00:31:08,954 --> 00:31:10,346
They need you to fight.
643
00:31:15,786 --> 00:31:18,354
We all need you to fight.
644
00:31:18,398 --> 00:31:21,357
I don't know that I can.
645
00:31:21,401 --> 00:31:24,926
It's...so warm here.
646
00:31:24,970 --> 00:31:27,276
The water is so cool.
647
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,235
I feel so relaxed.
648
00:31:29,278 --> 00:31:30,976
And there's no pain.
649
00:31:31,019 --> 00:31:32,629
I watched my kids
lose their mum.
650
00:31:32,673 --> 00:31:34,327
You don't want
that for your kids, Grey.
651
00:31:34,370 --> 00:31:36,633
There are people getting better
here every day.
652
00:31:36,677 --> 00:31:38,809
You could be
one of those people.
653
00:31:41,029 --> 00:31:43,249
I believe that you could.
654
00:31:43,292 --> 00:31:44,859
'Cause I've heard the stories
about other fights
655
00:31:44,903 --> 00:31:46,208
you've already won, so...
656
00:31:47,601 --> 00:31:50,038
So I'm asking you
to fight.
657
00:31:51,257 --> 00:31:53,215
You fight, Grey.
658
00:31:54,216 --> 00:31:56,044
It's okay.
659
00:31:56,088 --> 00:31:57,959
I'll be right here.
660
00:32:32,689 --> 00:32:35,692
Dr. Webber
set something up for DeLuca.
661
00:32:35,736 --> 00:32:36,824
A memorial.
662
00:32:45,398 --> 00:32:46,660
I'm not a great Jew.
663
00:32:49,315 --> 00:32:52,448
I cheated
at my bar mitzvah.
664
00:32:52,492 --> 00:32:56,670
I was too busy trying
to ignore Lenny Rapkin's shins
665
00:32:56,713 --> 00:32:58,628
that I didn't learn Hebrew,
666
00:32:58,672 --> 00:32:59,542
so I just wrote it out
phonetically
667
00:32:59,586 --> 00:33:01,675
and read that instead.
668
00:33:01,718 --> 00:33:05,505
I skip half the High Holy Days
and repent for it at Yom Kippur.
669
00:33:05,548 --> 00:33:08,116
And if I'm honest, I...
670
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,118
go back and forth
about believing in God,
671
00:33:10,162 --> 00:33:13,165
which is actually very Jewish,
but...
672
00:33:13,208 --> 00:33:15,906
It's the traditions
that I find helpful.
673
00:33:17,778 --> 00:33:20,999
When a loved one dies,
we have...
674
00:33:21,042 --> 00:33:24,698
rules about how to grieve
and move on.
675
00:33:24,741 --> 00:33:26,178
Protocols.
676
00:33:26,221 --> 00:33:31,139
We force ourselves
to sit in the pain.
677
00:33:31,183 --> 00:33:33,794
We cry.
678
00:33:33,837 --> 00:33:35,535
And we laugh.
679
00:33:35,578 --> 00:33:38,233
And we eat a lot.
680
00:33:38,277 --> 00:33:41,715
And it doesn't bring
the person back,
681
00:33:41,758 --> 00:33:44,065
but it does
start the healing.
682
00:33:48,635 --> 00:33:50,463
Chief, your mom died.
683
00:33:54,684 --> 00:33:55,990
My mom makes me crazy,
684
00:33:56,034 --> 00:33:58,949
but I'm gonna fall apart
when she dies.
685
00:33:58,993 --> 00:34:02,779
And you have people
you can be with.
686
00:34:04,259 --> 00:34:08,829
People who love you and miss you
and need to grieve with you.
687
00:34:10,483 --> 00:34:12,702
This pandemic
has taken so much.
688
00:34:14,704 --> 00:34:16,445
Don't give it that,
too.
689
00:34:33,027 --> 00:34:34,463
Hey.
690
00:34:34,507 --> 00:34:36,161
Sorry.
691
00:34:36,204 --> 00:34:39,468
Um, I'm about to head back in
to check on Mr. Gibbis.
692
00:34:39,512 --> 00:34:41,514
He's sedated and stable.
693
00:34:41,557 --> 00:34:44,430
You gonna go
to the memorial?
694
00:34:44,473 --> 00:34:48,216
I thought bad things
about him.
695
00:34:48,260 --> 00:34:53,395
When he was sick, I thought,
"Great, more surgeries for me."
696
00:34:53,439 --> 00:34:55,441
I had no compassion.
697
00:34:55,484 --> 00:34:57,356
And now he's just...
698
00:34:57,399 --> 00:34:59,053
dead.
699
00:34:59,097 --> 00:35:00,141
And we can't hug.
700
00:35:00,185 --> 00:35:02,578
And as a rule,
I hate hugs, but...
701
00:35:04,319 --> 00:35:07,192
...I haven't physically touched
anyone without gloves
702
00:35:07,235 --> 00:35:08,584
in over two months,
703
00:35:08,628 --> 00:35:12,675
and I-I feel like
I'm turning into that patient.
704
00:35:12,719 --> 00:35:14,155
Another week of this and...
705
00:35:14,199 --> 00:35:16,462
I'll be running through
the hospital naked.
706
00:35:17,506 --> 00:35:20,161
Stand up.
707
00:35:20,205 --> 00:35:21,249
And turn around.
708
00:35:21,293 --> 00:35:22,859
I'm sorry?
709
00:35:22,903 --> 00:35:24,209
Just trust me.
710
00:35:48,233 --> 00:35:49,799
Thank you.
711
00:35:53,716 --> 00:35:55,544
Zander: Spread out, please.
712
00:35:55,588 --> 00:35:58,112
We may be outside, but we still
need to maintain our distance.
713
00:36:24,138 --> 00:36:25,270
Richard.
714
00:36:26,445 --> 00:36:28,098
I'm...
715
00:36:28,142 --> 00:36:31,014
I need to
take some time off.
716
00:36:31,058 --> 00:36:32,320
I'm not sure how long.
717
00:36:32,364 --> 00:36:34,409
But I-I need to go home.
718
00:36:34,453 --> 00:36:36,194
However long you need.
719
00:36:39,284 --> 00:36:44,245
Everybody, can I have
your attention, please?
720
00:36:44,289 --> 00:36:46,465
Thank you.
721
00:36:46,508 --> 00:36:49,381
I appreciate
you all being here tonight.
722
00:36:49,424 --> 00:36:52,949
Grey-Sloan is a family.
723
00:36:52,993 --> 00:36:56,388
And Andrew DeLuca
was a member of that family.
724
00:36:56,431 --> 00:36:59,347
And his death,
however brave...
725
00:36:59,391 --> 00:37:02,263
Well,
it's still heartbreaking.
726
00:37:02,307 --> 00:37:07,703
We can't honor his life
like we might have in the past,
727
00:37:07,747 --> 00:37:11,751
but we can still honor him.
728
00:37:11,794 --> 00:37:13,492
Dr. Perez?
729
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:50,502
DeLuca: Hello.
730
00:38:50,545 --> 00:38:53,200
My name is Andrew DeLuca,
and I'm thrilled to be
731
00:38:53,243 --> 00:38:55,115
applying to the surgical
residency program
732
00:38:55,158 --> 00:38:57,596
at Grey-Sloan
Memorial Hospital.
733
00:38:57,639 --> 00:38:59,249
A bit about me.
734
00:38:59,293 --> 00:39:01,730
I am Italian,
but I grew up in Wisconsin.
735
00:39:01,774 --> 00:39:03,384
A lot of doctors
in my family,
736
00:39:03,428 --> 00:39:05,255
including my big sister,
Carina.
737
00:39:05,299 --> 00:39:07,736
Um, I grew up stealing
her game of Operation,
738
00:39:07,780 --> 00:39:09,825
so I guess you can say
it's, been a dream of mine
739
00:39:09,869 --> 00:39:12,262
for a very long time.
740
00:39:12,306 --> 00:39:14,787
The idea of doing my training
at Grey-Sloan
741
00:39:14,830 --> 00:39:17,050
and -- and learning
from surgical legends
742
00:39:17,093 --> 00:39:19,139
like Richard Webber
and Miranda Bailey
743
00:39:19,182 --> 00:39:22,708
and Jackson Avery
and Meredith Grey...
744
00:39:22,751 --> 00:39:25,885
well, it just doesn't
get any better than that.
745
00:39:25,928 --> 00:39:28,061
I think the reason I want to
become a surgeon
746
00:39:28,104 --> 00:39:30,150
is that I've always had
747
00:39:30,193 --> 00:39:32,500
this insatiable desire
to help people.
748
00:39:32,544 --> 00:39:36,504
And I think I get that from
my mom, who I lost too soon.
749
00:39:36,548 --> 00:39:38,288
And, she had
this really giving heart,
750
00:39:38,332 --> 00:39:40,900
and she always pushed me to do as much good as possible,
751
00:39:40,943 --> 00:39:44,556
so I guess
I'm doing this for her.
752
00:39:44,599 --> 00:39:46,253
Now, you should be warned,
753
00:39:46,296 --> 00:39:49,387
I can be relentless at times,
and very stubborn.
754
00:39:49,430 --> 00:39:53,782
But I promise that,
if I match with you...
755
00:39:56,350 --> 00:39:59,353
I will give you
the very best of me.
756
00:39:59,397 --> 00:40:01,311
Thank you.
757
00:40:01,355 --> 00:40:03,270
Alright.
758
00:40:12,627 --> 00:40:14,803
Meredith: At all costs,
759
00:40:14,847 --> 00:40:17,110
we avoid
negative experiences.
760
00:40:29,731 --> 00:40:31,516
We ignore pain.
761
00:40:37,652 --> 00:40:40,525
We steer clear
of the unfamiliar.
762
00:40:40,568 --> 00:40:42,309
We lie when asked
about how we feel.
763
00:40:48,837 --> 00:40:50,752
We shouldn't do that.
764
00:40:53,886 --> 00:40:56,715
I stopped by
the hospital for, um...
765
00:40:56,758 --> 00:40:58,499
I watched.
766
00:41:02,677 --> 00:41:04,157
I won't keep booze
in the house anymore.
767
00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:06,028
That's not what I need
from you.
768
00:41:08,509 --> 00:41:11,817
What I need from you
is no more secrets.
769
00:41:11,860 --> 00:41:16,386
It's just --
we have this baby together.
770
00:41:16,430 --> 00:41:19,477
We have this whole life
together, so...
771
00:41:19,520 --> 00:41:21,914
I want to really know you.
772
00:41:23,176 --> 00:41:24,220
Deal.
773
00:41:26,266 --> 00:41:28,877
I reek of whiskey right now,
or I would hug you.
774
00:41:28,921 --> 00:41:30,836
I will hold my breath.
775
00:41:44,066 --> 00:41:46,155
Because I've learned something from these last several months.
776
00:41:46,199 --> 00:41:47,287
Teddy?
777
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:53,206
Hey.
778
00:41:56,296 --> 00:41:57,558
Teddy.
779
00:42:00,343 --> 00:42:02,258
I'm gonna take you home,
okay?
780
00:42:03,782 --> 00:42:05,305
Okay.
781
00:42:13,705 --> 00:42:15,924
The body
can only take so much.
782
00:42:24,759 --> 00:42:27,632
--Captions by VITAC--
55492
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