All language subtitles for GRATEFUL DEAD - Long Strange Trip (2017) - Part 3 -Eng

♪ Well, I know you rider

♪ Gonna miss me when

Lesh: I did not want
to take a break.

I was so into it,
and it was just developing,

and it was getting better
and better and better,

and I was having
the time of my life.

♪ Gonna miss me

My fear was,
once we took a break,

it might not come back
together again.

And the Grateful Dead is the best
thing that ever happened to me

until I met my wife.

And I did not want to let it go.

Not even for a minute.

Huh?

Lesh: From 1967 on,
it was constant.

We averaged 80 shows
a year, on the road.

I guess people were
just getting tired.

Well, what happened was that
everybody sort of went their...

Their separate ways
to let things cool out.

Never waste a drop.

Weir: And that period of rest

really kind of saved us.

It's not just momentary fatigue
that you're running down,

and you look back
on your lifestyle,

and you can pretty clearly see
what's been doing it to you,

then prudence decrees that you're
gonna have to alter your lifestyle,

or you're not gonna
make it very far.

I don't think that I can
really fairly expect

to live for a long time
if I'm on the road

six months out of the year.

That's hard on you.

When the Grateful Dead
took a break,

we didn't stop for a second.

Not me and Jerry.
We just went right into the Garcia band.

We kept going.

♪ Later on,
the bottom dropped out ♪

♪ I became withdrawn

♪ The only thing
I knew how to do ♪

♪ Was to keep on keepin' on
like a bird that flew ♪

♪ Tangled up in blue

Parish: We were playing
nightclubs night after night.

Putting all our energy into it.

You see, Jerry just wanted
to be a guitar player.

He wanted to play
as much as he could.

So we never stopped
for one second.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen
and the Deadheads of the world,

the Grateful Dead!

Weir: When we came back
together,

everybody had
a bigger bag of tricks

to bring back to the fold.

And that was really
a golden era for us.

You could pretty much
walk into a show

and expect that we were
going to achieve liftoff.

We were... We were
pretty damn reliable.

♪ Oh, go

♪ Go, Johnny, go

♪ Go

♪ Go, Johnny, go

♪ Go go go

♪ Go, Johnny, go

♪ Go, Johnny, go

♪ Go

♪ Johnny B. Goode

Lesh:
That period, the late '70s,

were extraordinarily productive,

and some of the most
popular shows

that we've ever played
are from that period.

At the same time,

something wasn't right.

That's just from my perspective.

But something fundamental...

There was a...
There was a kind of hole

in the whole thing somehow.

Barlow:
We did do the Egypt thing,

which I think was a huge,

huge thing for creating a sense

of solidarity
and mystical purpose

for just about everybody.

But, oh God, it was just...

There was all manner
of wickedness.

♪ Long distance runner

♪ What you holdin' out for?

Parish: As darker drugs
moved into the scene,

it became more about trying
to protect your brothers

from falling too deep into
things that you knew about.

I was a streetwise kid,

and I knew everything
that happened

when you fucked around
with heroin.

But Jerry,
he got caught up in it.

♪ The more that you give,
the more it will take ♪

♪ To the thin line beyond
which you really can't fake ♪

♪ Fire, fire on the mountain

♪ Fire, fire on the mountain

♪ Fire

Parish: Jerry was the epitome
of the Grateful Dead,

the heart and soul of it.

He was responsible
for being the guy

to keep this whole machination
that we have built goin'.

And it's hard
to live up to that.

The drugs that go along
with being that person

are not conducive
to health and life.

Barlow: You know,
we were asking ourselves

to maintain a kind of
creative openness

and leaning-into-it-ness...

and passion and all that stuff.

As we got older,
it just got harder.

And it was all kind of
gathering ourselves up

for what was gonna be...

What turned out to be our...

You know, our big decade,

which was the '80s,
going into the nineties.

I hope there are people
watching this documentary

who don't know the Dead

or are just being
introduced to the Dead.

And I think you're gonna ask me

about some... I don't know...

What you're gonna
ask me about, but...

Prankster: Tonight's acid
test will remain in part

from its paralysis voyage
into the void

for the remainder of the night.

That's right. Just a...

- Hey, Bear.
- Get off the stage, will you?

What's that?

Al Franken:
Are you gonna have,

like, an animated Jerry
over your shoulder

going like,
"Oh, I wouldn't do that"?

Is that like an idea
you can put in the movie?

I'm not a Grateful Dead scholar.

I'm a Grateful Dead fan.

You know...

I'm a Deadhead.

We caught up with the band

in Hartford, Connecticut,

and their fans
called the Deadheads.

Perhaps as important
as the Dead themselves...

The Deadheads.

Self-described Deadheads

who are undoubtedly
the most enthusiastic cult...

Male reporter: Deadheads...
A faithful following

that comes here again
and again for the music,

but at the same time
a whole lot more.

Man: Yep.
They're Deadheads.

McNally: In, uh, 1984,

I became the Grateful Dead's
publicist.

We'll start in about 15 minutes.

I got hired because the
receptionist said, "You know,

"the media calls,
and nobody calls them back,

and they yell at me,
and I don't like it."

And Garcia said, "Ah, get McNally to do it.
He knows that shit."

By the middle 1980s,

the people of my generation,

all these people are now
in their middle 30s.

They have careers.

Some of them are in the media.

They not only know
about the Grateful Dead,

they want to cover
the Grateful Dead,

and they want
to do it positively.

So they're gonna send a camera.

The Grateful Dead
are one of the...

The press would arrive.

They would be assaulted
by this incredible scene...

...and suddenly
the story became

not the band but Deadheads.

And everybody
had the same question.

Man: Okay, what is it
about the Grateful Dead?

What is it about the Grateful
Dead that brings you here?

Woman:
Why are you a Deadhead?

Why am I a Deadhead?

Wow. What is this for?
Is this, like,

just for your own
personal satisfaction,

or is this like...

Wow, that's weird. Wow.
Do you, like... Is this fun?

Box slate.

Back to the Grateful Dead.

In the 1980s, I had retired,

and I wanted to write a book.

And so for two years

I took this tape recorder out

and started to do
these interviews.

Joe Smith on tape:
Jerry, thank you for this.

- You know I'm doing this book.
- Garcia: Yeah.

And you're a very key
player in it,

so I if you got a few minutes

- I'd just like to talk.
- Absolutely, man.

You know, I, I have such
a fond feeling for you guys.

Smith: Well, this is
years later, you know,

and all the venom

that had been taken
out of the relationship...

Smith: Why is it
that this one aggregation,

this one combination,

can continue to do it
23, 24 years later

with audiences that weren't
alive the first time around.

- Right.
- What is it that you guys got?

I haven't the slightest
idea, Joe.

It is one of the great
phenomenons

of the entertainment world.

I think now,
during the eighties,

the Grateful Dead kind of
represents something

like hopping railroads,
you know what I mean?

- Yeah.
- Some... Something like that,

or being on the road
like Kerouac.

- Yeah, yeah.
- It... it...

But you can't do those
types of things anymore,

but you can be a Deadhead.

You can get in your van

and go with the other Deadheads

across the United States.

"Now, that looks
like fun," you know?

You have your war stories,
you know?

- Yeah.
- Stories about the time

that you were driving
through Des Plains

in the middle of the night,
got four flat tires,

and some farmer helped you out

and put you up and...

I think that's

what motivates
the audience now...

The spirit of being
able to go out

and have an adventure
in America at large,

you know what I mean?

Woman: We're here.

We were chasing your ass
all the way across country.

Man: We've been chasing you
from fucking Nebraska.

Garcia: The whole thing
is that Deadheads

have a certain
sense of adventure,

and it's tough
to come by adventure

in this new, lame America.

Male reporter: Roll over,
Boogaloo Shrimp.

That's the First Lady
Nancy Reagan

trying out some
break dance steps today

on a visit to a New York
rehab home for teens.

Now she ready
to slip on some tie-dye

and go to a Dead concert.

McNally: Ronald Reagan is
president in the eighties,

and the great reaction
had begun.

As a matter of fact,
I have here...

The reaction
against the sixties.

...District Attorney
of Alameda County.

It concerns a dance...

Ronald Reagan ran as governor

and as president
against the sixties,

and it worked.

Three rock and roll bands

were in the center
of the gymnasium

playing simultaneously
all during the dance.

And all during the dance,

movies were shown on two screens

at the opposite ends
of the gymnasium.

These movies were the only
lights in the gym proper.

They consisted
of color sequences

that gave the appearance
of different-colored liquid

spreading across the screen,

followed by shots of men
and women on occasion,

shots where the men
and women's nude torsos,

on occasion,

and persons twisted and gyrated

in provocative
and sensual fashion.

- ♪ When I married me a bad girl... ♪
- The young...

McNally: A certain
proportion of Americans

say "No, we don't think so,"

and run away to join the circus

and follow the Grateful Dead.

♪ Never even put
a stew bone in the pot ♪

♪ She's on the road again

♪ Sure as you're born

♪ Catch a policeman
on the road again ♪

♪ She's on the road again

♪ Sure as you're born

The whole world that, you know,

kind of, Jack Kerouac
and the Beat Generation

had risen up against,

was still kind of
there, you know,

pressing everybody,
but in new forms.

But when you went
to a Grateful Dead show...

you would glimpse
over a kind of horizon

of, uh, you know, American crap

that was usually
all you got to see.

♪ Come on, pretty mama

♪ Let's get on the road again ♪

McNally: It wasn't
for everybody, you know.

It was an acquired taste.

♪ Catch a policeman
on the road again ♪

In the early 1980s,

the Grateful Dead
were still very much

an underground phenomenon.

Deadheads became Deadheads
by being mentored.

You'd have an elder
sibling or friend,

and he would turn you on
to the Dead.

I had friends
who would give me acid

and then play Aoxomoxoa.

Aoxomoxoa: it's a palindrome.

One of their most wild
experimental albums.

And then I had another friend

who would play me Europe '72.

And I remember listening
to the transition

where out of the chaos

condenses
"The Morning Dew."

And so that sort of
beguiled me enough

to go to my first show.

Whoo!

Steve Silberman:
And I remember,

like, 20 minutes into this show,

I'm hearing this
incredible improvisation

on electric bass

played through
quadraphonic speakers

and Phil moving notes around

in three dimensions
through the audience.

Like, I had never
seen anybody do that.

And I remember
thinking, like, My God,

this is, like, the best music
I've ever heard in my life.

This is for me.

I want to see this
as much as I can.

♪ Sometimes we live
in no particular way ♪

♪ But our own

And so I basically started going

to see them whenever I could.

♪ Sometimes we visit
your country ♪

♪ And live in your home

♪ Sometimes we ride
on your horses ♪

♪ Sometimes we walk alone

♪ Sometimes the songs
that we hear ♪

♪ Are just songs of our own

♪ Wake up to find out...

Silberman:
You know, I was surrounded

by this incredibly complicated

and incredibly well
established social structure.

♪ It's speeches,
it's homeland and... ♪

The physical layout
of a Grateful Dead show

was like a mandala
with different regions.

And if you look at a mandala

in traditional Tibetan Buddhism,

there are, like,
these different sectors

of the mandala.

You know, here are
the angry gods,

here are the people suffering.

Grateful Dead shows
were like a mandala.

You know, people knew
where they would sit.

There would be, you know,
the Phil zone people out here

and then the Jerry side
people over here.

There would be the deaf zone

where people would
be holding balloons

that vibrated with the music
because they could not hear.

But, by holding the balloons,

they could literally sense
the vibrations of the music.

And they would dance,

and there would be a live
sign language interpreter

providing interpretation
of the lyrics.

There was, you know,
a whole crew of Wharf Rats,

who were people following
the 12-step path,

who would have meetings
during the set breaks.

Spinners would be out
in the hall, you know,

having literally
religious experiences

because they thought
Garcia was a prophet,

and they'd be bowing down.

Or there were tapers.

They would, you know,

go there with all their gear
and set up their gear.

♪ The wind in the willow's
playing "Tea For Two" ♪

♪ The sky was yellow,
and the sun was blue ♪

♪ Strangers stopping strangers ♪

♪ Just to shake their hand

♪ Everybody's playing

♪ In the heart of gold band,
heart of gold band ♪

When I first started
going to Dead shows,

they didn't yet have explicit
permission from the band,

so it was still in a sense
a form of bootlegging.

Weir: Portable
recording equipment

was getting pretty good.

And people started
showing up at our shows

with expensive equipment...

Nice microphones,
all that kind of stuff...

Recording the shows,

and the record company
wanted to, you know,

"We gotta shut that down,"
uh, you know,

"because those people are
gonna record your shows,

and then they're not
gonna buy our records."

We were confronted
with two options:

we can either be cops,
or we can let 'em in.

We didn't want to be cops.

Whoo!

♪ Shakin' on Shakedown Street ♪

♪ Used to be the heart of town ♪

How do you feel about people
taping Grateful Dead concerts

and trading the tapes?

Garcia: Hey,
when I'm done with it,

if somebody can find
use for our music

after it's been performed,
fine with me.

As it turns out, we get credit

for all kinds of visionary
business practices

and stuff like that.

We were just doing
the easiest thing.

In fact, what happened was,

this was the greatest promo tool

in the history of music.

You give away your music...
Your recorded music,

and you make your money
on selling tickets.

♪ Maybe you had
too much too fast ♪

And since every show
is different,

you could record every show,

and you still wouldn't
have heard it all,

and you'd still want
to go to that next show.

♪ Maybe you had
too much too fast ♪

We doubled or tripled
our audience. Why?

Largely because of taping.

Yow!

My generation got into it
mainly through tapes.

The core of the canon
reached people

through this hand-traded stuff.

If this plays, it's a miracle.

I went to boarding school.

You know, we were in a place

where there wasn't
much else to do

besides, you know, sit around

and listen to music and talk.

You start to discover
that some people,

the older people,
have, you know,

100, 150, 200
Grateful Dead tapes.

Well, you listen to one,

and you begin to understand
what's going on in that tape,

and you become interested in it.

You listen to it
over and over again.

And then you get another one,

and you begin to learn
what's going on in that one,

and you begin to understand
the language of that one.

Play.

And, you know, over time...

you build up this collection,

and you listen to them enough

so that you begin to see
an arrangement in a sequence

and a narrative of
the band's performances

as are represented
by these tapes,

which, you know,
are little snapshots

from each year, each tour.

To start with, you know,
you're not really aware

of one year being
different from another,

but after a while, you begin
to say "Oh, you know,

1971 sounds like this."

1973 sounds like this.

Later, you learn
that there was variation

even within that year, within
that week, within each night.

I think that's
part of the appeal.

You start to understand
what's going on in the music.

You hear the patterns.

You hear the deviations
from the patterns.

The differences
between recordings

makes it seems alive.

♪ Dancin' in the street

♪ Dance in Chicago

You're really hearing

how each, you know,
musical performance

represents an evolution

or devolution
of the band over time.

♪ Dancin', dancin'

♪ Dancin' in the streets

♪ Dancin', dancin'

♪ dancin' in the streets

For the discerning Deadhead,

it's sort of an endlessly
fascinating body of work

to say this one...
This one's good in this way,

and this one's
not good in this way.

You know, this one...

This one's really good,
and this is why.

There's a central irony
to the whole thing,

which is the band that was
sort of most dedicated

to the ephemeral experience
of playing live,

performing something once
in a certain way,

is the band that's been sort of

most obsessively recorded
and catalogued in history.

You know, I never had
a great collection.

In fact, some of the people

that had the great collections,

I mean, they were...

They were weird, you know?

Al Franken:
You know, I mean,

I've listened
to a million "Althea" s.

Now I very much focus on, like,

what year when
an "Althea" was played.

The "Althea," uh,

from, I think it's May, 1980,

Nassau Coliseum,

to me is, like,
the most hair-raising solo.

My God, that solo
is unbelievable.

It was so unbelievably great.

You tell me... You...

Hampton is one of
your favorites, right?

So I listened
to the "Althea" from that,

and that has the flavor
of that one,

but it ain't that one.

- Did you listen to it?
- Amir Bar Lev: Yeah.

- Am I right?
- Yeah.

Only Deadheads would,
like, talk like that.

Silberman: Believe me,
after you'd heard

150 versions
of a particular song,

you'd have a kind of platonic
form of the leads,

or whatever, like, in your head.

And then Jerry would play
something slightly better.

So I would have to sort
of negotiate with myself.

It would be like, "Well,
I saw the last six shows,

so do I really need to see
the next two?" you know.

But inevitably I would
end up, like, hearing

about what they'd played on
the night that I didn't go,

and I'd be like, "Fuck."

The Dead had a way

of sort of frustrating
your attempts

to moderate the obsession.

You guys got any extra
tickets for tonight?

- I don't have any extra ones...
- Come on.

- ...for tonight myself.
- You don't?

But I'm sure they'll be around.

- You goin'?
- Oh, of course we're goin'.

All right.
You go last night?

Oh, yeah.

Boy, that was a good
jam, wasn't it?

Man: Where'd you guys
come from?

Rhode Island.

All the way from Rhode
Island to see the Dead.

Took us a week to get here.

We had a hell of a time, man.

Two months to get back home.

I left last week, and it
took six days to get here.

It was pretty fun on the way.

Spent Christmas in Arcata.

Anything within 600 miles
is automatic.

You can make that in one night

and still make it to work
in the morning.

Last night was my 45th
show this year.

I make almost all
the shows of the year.

I drive that big Ford.

And you guys, uh,
off the record,

are welcome to smoke
a joint with us.

But I really need
a miracle for tonight,

you know, like, I'd like
to be holdin' a ticket.

You know what I mean?
I really would.

♪ I need a miracle every day

Got any tickets?

♪ It takes dynamite
to get me up ♪

Help me, please!

♪ Too much of everything
is just enough ♪

♪ One more thing
I just got to say ♪

♪ I need a miracle every day

You know, I started going
to see them in 1984,

and I remember
at that point, they still...

Still were a strange,

forgotten, almost sixties cult

that was sort of shambling
around America

pretty much ignored
by the culture at large.

It was a pretty intense,
small scene.

It was overwhelming,
and it was kind of scary.

We were 15.

You know, I was sort of
a clean-cut kid,

and it was not a clean-cut
scene necessarily.

What'cha need?

The sense of menace
was always there.

Which I didn't quite
understand myself.

You know, the bikers
that would go,

rough guys, there were drunks.

I didn't, kind of,
get that part.

Fuck off, you.

Franken: You know,
I'm a very,

you know, gentle person.

Nick Paumgarten: And sometimes
it was just a madhouse.

So that... that aspect of it
just frightened me.

I remember, sort of,

survival was sort of the thing

when I went to shows...

Surviving the crowds
and the bathroom lines.

Franken:
I couldn't go

to the bathroom there.

And, I remember, like, Deadheads

who were barefoot going in

to go the bathroom,

and I was, like, going like...

I can't handle that.

Man: Thank you.
Thank you very much.

- Thank you.
- Welcome in, folks.

Walk, walk, walk.
Don't run, don't run!

- Walk.
- Here you go.

Paumgarten:
It was not like, you know,

being a middle-aged guy

going to see a show
with your seat number

and showing up
and maybe getting an IPA

and being shown to your seat

and sitting there
and being like, "Oh,

this is a nice presentation
of decent music."

It was... It was...
It was an adventure.

♪ Well, I was feelin'

♪ So bad now

♪ Asked my family doctor
'bout what I had done ♪

♪ I said now, Doctor

♪ Doctor

♪ Mr. M.D.

♪ Doctor

♪ Ow, can you tell me

♪ Doctor

♪ What's ailing me

♪ Doctor

♪ He said Yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ Yeah, yeah

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ All you need

♪ All you really need

♪ Is good lovin'

♪ Because you got
to have lovin' ♪

Weir: And as the years
went by...

♪ Well, you got to have lovin' ♪

we just got better at it.

♪ A little bit of lovin'

♪ Good lovin'

And then,

when Brent started
playing with us,

we had three really good,
strong singers.

We could really knock it
out of the park

with our choral vocals.

♪ Don't you want your daddy

♪ To be all right?

Paumgarten: After Keith
and Donna Jean Godchaux

left the band,

they brought in Brent Mydland,

who was a fabulous
keyboard player

and a wonderful singer,
actually.

He really revitalized the
backup singing for the band

and gave it some muscle,
made the sound bigger.

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ All you need

You know, and it seemed like,

for a while,
that they were feeling it.

♪ Is good lovin'

♪ Well, you got to have lovin' ♪

♪ Good lovin'

♪ And you gotta have lovin'

♪ Good lovin'

♪ Oh, a little good lovin'

♪ Good lovin'

Get it on!

♪ Good lovin'

♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme,
gimme some lovin' ♪

♪ Ah, you gotta have lovin'

♪ Good lovin'

♪ Gimme, gimme,
gimme some lovin' ♪

- ♪ Good lovin'
- ♪ Ah

Silberman:
There was something

that was uncanny

about the wave form
of a Grateful Dead show.

- ♪ Got to have lovin'
- ♪ Good lovin'

You know, there were two sets.

The first set was usually
more contained musically.

There would be more kind of

chorus, verse, you know,
structure of the songs.

But then, in the second set,

almost anything could happen.

There would be a period
in the second set

where you would be
actually brought back

to the very elemental
essence of music

by the drums and space sections.

Percussive rhythms
from the jungle...

or from the desert
in the Middle East.

Hart: The idea is
to take the audience

on a trip, you know,
on a journey.

If you asked me
what business I was in,

I would say transportation.

We're in the transportation
business.

Silberman: I think that what
made Grateful Dead music

so appealing for people
who were tripping

was that it was a way
of having experiences

that were almost
a primordial initiation.

Like in cultures where

young men would be taken
away from their parents,

often by a Shaman.

You know, they would
have to spend,

like, three days in
the wilderness, fasting,

learning that the world
was serious

instead of superficial.

Learning that things like
life and death were real.

Becoming an adult.

It's not to say that, you know,

people couldn't enjoy Dead
shows while they were sober,

but for people who, you know,

were taking
psychedelics like me,

which I did hundreds
of times at Dead shows,

it was an absolutely
exquisite opportunity

to explore this rich

musical tradition

that they were
sort of serving up,

you know, nightly,

in this incredibly
well architected form.

And then you'd be returned
to the, kind of, human world

through the ballads
that Jerry would sing.

Like, Jerry would often
come out of space

with "Stella Blue."

It was as if he had
found a place to stand

in the middle of the universe

where he could look at
everything outside of him

and utter something
meaningful about it.

♪ All the years combine

♪ They melt into a dream

♪ A broken angel sings

You know, a very common
experience about psychedelics

is that you feel
like you're on the verge

of sort of cracking
the cosmic koan

or getting the cosmic
joke or something.

And then it would slip away.

♪ It all rolls into one

And, I think the lyrics
kind of flirted with that...

♪ And nothing...

where they would, you know,
almost hand you something

that sounded like
the big answer,

but then it was, you know,
ever so slightly slippery.

♪ There's nothing you can hold ♪

♪ For very long

Paumgarten:
The lyrics for me...

The good ones...

They do hang around like
scraps of important poetry.

♪ Stella Blue

There's something
ingenious about Hunter

where the lyrics
all have these level

of involving the listener in
whatever story's being told.

♪ Stella Blue

Robert Hunter was
a very subtle lyricist.

Trist: He was part
of the Grateful Dead

because he was creating
the words they sang.

Always referring
back to those roots

that we shared
in the early sixties.

McNally: Hunter was Jerry's
partner on every level.

They were close enough.
They went back far enough

that Hunter could be
the source of words

and Jerry could be
comfortable singing them.

Garcia: I can't get
on stage and sing a song

that doesn't have some
emotional reality for me.

Hunter is very good about
writing into my beliefs.

You know?

He... He understands
the way I think.

Silberman:
His lyrics seem to come

out of a much older world

than they literally came out of.

♪ In the timbers to Fennario

♪ The wolves are running round ♪

It was like those songs came

from some kind of subterranean
old, weird America.

♪ I beg of you,
don't murder me ♪

One that had important
information in it.

♪ Please don't murder me

That you would kind of have to

live your way
up to understanding.

Weir: Hunter's
got his own window

into what those songs are about,

what they mean to him.

He's notoriously reclusive,

uh, so I doubt
that he would be willing

to sit for an interview,
but he might.

I could call him and...
Or text him or something.

If you can get him to talk,
it'd be interesting to see.

I think a lot of times,
people want to know

what he meant
by this or that line.

No artist wants to sit there

and explain
why he did what he did.

It's sort of counter

to the whole point of
doing something artistic.

Well, it is fun

to learn how songs
are written, right?

I guess.

Generally speaking,
when I listen to a song,

you know, I don't ponder.

"What was he trying
to get at here?"

I always do that.

I always try to figure out

what the words mean...
What do they mean?

What's...

But it takes all kinds right?

Mm-hmm.

But he knows
we're coming, right?

Bar Lev:
No, he does not.

Ah, okay.

You know, Robert Hunter
was a very elusive person.

He did not like photographs
circulating of him.

He wouldn't even appear
in public for many years

because he wanted
to retain his anonymity.

Hunter would just
kind of appear,

or he would disappear
whenever he wanted to.

That's who the guy is.

And that's why
his lyrics suggest...

"I'm anywhere you want me to be.

You can't catch me."

This is a man who will
pull out a gun and shoot you

if you start, you know,
analyzing his lyrics.

He will not answer
questions like that.

No, you can't exp... Nobody w...

Well, I can't
explain his songs, no.

McNally: He won't do it,
nor should he.

If he did,
the illusion would be gone,

and that ain't no fun, you know?

Silberman: His lyrics
were not easily cast

into some narrow
range of meaning.

You know, it's like,

I love the lyric to "Dark Star,"

even though it's
one of the most...

You know, you can't
explain what it means.

Well, let's see.

Dark star crashes,

pouring its light
into the ashes.

Reason tatters.

The forces tear loose
from the axis.

Uh, searchlight
casting for faults

in the clouds of delusion.

Shall we go, you and I,

while we can,

through the transitive
nightfall of diamonds?

What is unclear about that?

I mean, it says what it means.

♪ Dark star crashes

♪ Pouring its light

♪ Through ashes

♪ Reason...

Godchaux: The lyrics
are worded in such a way

that anybody who hears
a Grateful Dead song

can interpret it

so that it becomes meaningful

to their own life.

It is so personal

to each and every person
who listens to it,

it belongs to you, honey.

It's yours.

♪ Shall we go

♪ You and I, while we can?

And that's the key,

and that's the genius

of the Hunter/Garcia
collaboration.

♪ The transitive
nightfall of diamonds ♪

Silberman:
Both Robert Hunter's

and John Barlow's
best lyrics did that.

Those songs would become,
like, good, wise advisors

that you could take with you
through decades of life.

Come right here,
and it's all about this:

"See ya at the next show."

When this one's over,

we're not going anywhere
but to the next show.

Man: And how long are you
gonna keep doing this?

Like the band does
another 20 years,

I'll do another 20 years.

Silberman:
It was really profound

to keep coming back
over the years

because you would see people,
you know, get older.

Eventually they'd be
coming with their spouse

and maybe their kids.

Eventually they'd be
getting gray hair.

It's like we would all
be growing old together

in this place that kept
recreating itself

in a way that was both
reassuringly familiar

and excitingly new every time.

I think, for a lot of people,

Grateful Dead shows were
experiences of renewal

in the same way that it would be

within a...

An established, uh, religion.

♪ I wanna tell you
how it's gonna be ♪

♪ You're gonna give
your love to me ♪

♪ I want to love you
night and day ♪

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ Not fade away

Lesh: It is more like
a ritual than a concert.

Everybody's ecstatic together.

I always said,

every place we play is church.

That says it in a nutshell.

Barlow: You know,
there really was

a holy thing
that happened there.

There's no question.

But it wasn't
coming from Garcia.

It wasn't coming
from the stage, actually.

It wasn't coming from
any particular place.

It never does.

We realized that we had
to be really very careful...

because if the Grateful Dead

was going to form a religion

beyond just having
a religious-like thing

that was following it around...

it would constrain our ability

to get into the future properly.

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ Mmm-bop, bop, bop-bop

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ Mmm-bop, bop, bop-bop

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ Mmm-bop, bop, bop-bop

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

♪ You know our love
will not fade away ♪

See, for the first
18 years or so,

I had a lot of doubts
about the Grateful Dead.

I thought maybe this is really
a bad thing to be doing,

you know, this could be,
like, really pernicious.

Reporter: Because you
were aware of it.

Because I was
aware of the power.

If I had started to think
about controlling that power,

it would be like,
perilously close to fascism.

And, so I did a lot
of things to sabotage it.

It's like, "Fuck that, you know?

"I'm not going to go
along with this.

I don't want
to be a part of this."

I mean, it's the thing of it.

You don't want
to be the king, you know?

You don't want
to be the president.

You don't fuckin' want that.

I mean, nobody wants...
Nobody should have that.

♪ Fare you well, my honey, oh ♪

♪ Fare you well

♪ My only true one

♪ All the birds
that were singing ♪

♪ Have flown

♪ Except you alone

Steve Silberman: Jerry
once said something like

"I live in a world
without a Grateful Dead"

because, he didn't have some
group that was, you know,

that he could go see

that would lift
the burdens of his life.

You know, he was the guy

who was lifting
everybody else's burdens

without even trying.

And he couldn't do it
for himself, clearly,

because meanwhile,
he's going back to his house

and smoking heroin all day.

Nick Paumgarten: By the time
I came on the scene

in the mid-eighties,

Garcia was probably at his
unhealthiest, you know,

up until, basically,
when he died.

♪ In my time

I feel like the extent to which

he allowed himself
to fall to pieces,

there was some element
of the canny artist in that.

I mean, this is me projecting
onto him entirely.

Maybe it's giving him
too much credit,

but it suited the music
that he was performing

when he was shrouded in death

because a lot of Garcia's
music is about death.

That's an appeal of the man

that you have to
discover over time.

You don't see it immediately

because of the way
he presents historically

as this sort of big,
happy, hippie icon.

You get to know,

if you listen to the music,

that actually he's a deliverer

of dark news, you know?

That's where you really
begin to take him seriously.

♪ Fare you well, fare you well ♪

♪ I love you more
than words can tell ♪

♪ Listen to the river
sing sweet songs ♪

♪ To rock my soul

♪ Listen to the river
sing sweet songs ♪

♪ To rock my soul

This is where I'm working

on archiving a bunch
of Jerry's stuff.

This is my endless project.

You know, I was always
expecting when I...

When I would listen
to the Grateful Dead music,

there was gonna be some, like,
overt message, you know?

Something there,
like, oh, that's it.

But I can't tell exactly

where the magic is
in... in these things.

You know, but there's definitely

something special going on.

This is a great reel
from a press release.

Back here I have a couple of,
um, like, family shots.

There's Jerry.

This is... This is
the daughter picture.

He's holding his wallet.

I'm probably
hitting him up for money.

Um, this is in Hawaii.

He looks pretty frickin'
happy, to me.

This is actually
at Ken Kesey's house.

Me and Jerry in '86.

My mom, Mountain Girl,
took this picture.

Growing up in the Grateful Dead,

I never got
to experience the show

as a fan did, you know?

So, it didn't make sense to me

why all these people
have this, um,

deep, deep connection to my dad

that I sometimes felt
like I had to compete with.

You know, they toured a lot,

and it was really hard
for him, you know,

spending that much
time on the road.

And we gave him, you know,

he got his space
when he came home.

I would just sit, you know,

and hang out next to him
while he played his scales.

And we'd watch
TV shows together.

And weird movies, you know.

Twilight Zone stuff.

Shall we put the heart in now?

Yes.

Ludwig.

Here's some old, uh,

sketches of little
Frankensteins.

Frankenstein was a recurring
character for him.

Um, you know, Jerry
loved horror movies

and stuff like that, so...

The Frankenstein,

the harmless little
companion that you create

that ends up dominating
your whole world.

Work.

He was exhausted.

I'm exhausted.
I must get sleep.

Work, finish, then sleep.

The Grateful Dead thing
had gotten so big

where you're kind of, you know,

working just to keep it
going at a certain point.

Not that, you know,

not saying it should have
ended or anything, but...

I wish that, uh,

he would've just got
some fucking rest, you know?

Dennis McNally: Summer of '86,

we played two concerts
in Washington, D.C.

It was over a hundred degrees,

and Jerry was out there
for three hours a day,

and he got dehydrated.

And about three days later,

he went into a diabetic coma.

Garcia: I just laid down
one day and didn't get up.

During the time
I was actually in a coma,

my main experience is
a kind of tremendous struggle

in a kind of a futuristic,

sort of spaceship-y
kind of vehicle

with some kind
of insectoid presences.

Prankster: The acid test is
everywhere in this spaceship,

everywhere you are,
you're all on...

Garcia: Kind of like invisible
time travelers from the future

looking at me, you know.

I had this image of myself...

I love death.

...as these little
hunks of protoplasm

that were stuck together
kind of like stamps

with perforations between 'em.

And they were a gift.

They were these kind
of, like, message units

or message carriers,

and I thought they were, like,

kind of like my bloodstream.

And that was my image
of my physical self.

I came out of my coma...

feeling fragile...

but I'm not afraid of death.

It made it easier for me
to focus on the things

that I really wanted
to accomplish.

It had that kind of
attention-getting, you know,

the thing of you could
go at any moment.

You never know, you know,

so you might as well
just try to crowd

as much as you can possibility
get into your life.

This week,
the Grateful Dead released

their first studio
album in seven years,

In The Dark, over which

their so-called Deadhead
fans are delirious.

They always love it
when I don't die.

I always get a lot
of mileage out of that.

Reporter: The Grateful Dead
are very much alive and well.

Their last album, Into The Dark,

was their best selling ever.

Their single, "Touch of Grey,"

became their first top-40 hit.

♪ I will get by

The Dead racked up over
$26 million in ticket sales.

Woman: ...one of
the highest earners

in the entertainment
business last year.

The band's music makes millions.

There's an ice cream
named after their leader.

The Dead is even
on the internet.

♪ I will survive

McNally: In 1987,

we finally have a radio hit.

With "Touch of Grey"
in the top ten,

tens of thousands of people
just heard it on the radio,

and they went, "Oh,
I want to go to that show,"

and, of course,
they can't get in

'cause it's already sold out.

So they go down anyway,

and they find a party
the likes of which

no 19-year-old
ever walks away from.

And we go from having
a thousand people

on the outside of our show,

uh, to 5,000.

And that simply overloaded
the environment.

♪ I will get by

Mickey Hart:
It got so, so popular,

so powerful a draw,

that the biggest places
were too small,

even the stadiums.

Playing to the stadiums

were akin to playing
in the studio

because the people
were all there...

There were 60,000 people there...

But it was basically...

You didn't have any touch
with those people.

They're hundreds
of feet away from you.

Phil Lesh: In the stadiums,

you're gonna have no contact
with your audience.

It's just not possible.

You know, it's just a sea
of faces about this big

and waving arms.

Man: Has success
spoiled the Dead?

- Yeah.
- Bob Weir: Yeah.

Sam Cutler:
I came back to America

after 30 years away.

I was absolutely gobsmacked

by the influence
of the Grateful Dead

and how it spread
all over the United States.

And then this is what
the mainstream culture

does, you know?

It neuters things

and declaws things, you know,

by absorbing them, you know.

They kinda love you to death.

Paumgarten:
The scene kept evolving.

They attracted
a new legion of fans.

And they became
popular and accepted,

and you found out
that, you know,

Peter Jennings went to shows

and Senator Leahy
was a Deadhead,

and the Grateful Dead,
God bless 'em,

were fine with that.

I found it affirming,

the fact that it was a big tent.

It wasn't just a bunch
of hippie chicks

or prep school
Deadheads or spinners.

They were open
to all kinds of people.

That was always part of it.

Garcia: Events have
carried us this far.

You know what I mean?

And that seems
to work pretty good

when we sort of take
a hands-off approach,

you know, kind of
let things happen.

So we'll see where this gets us

'cause right now
we're in motion.

We're on our way somewhere.

It's hard to tell where.

Cutler: What's
interesting to me

is the reaction
of the Deadheads.

When the Grateful Dead
became locked

into playing huge stadiums,

I mean, the Deadheads picked up

on the original ethos
of the Grateful Dead,

their inherently
anarchic tendencies.

And all of a sudden,

it was like they'd been stalked

by 50,000 lunatics.

Lesh: We should've known
that something was coming

when we realized
that a lot of times

there were more people
outside the shows

partying and trying
to find a way in for free

than there were inside.

♪ I spent a little time
on the mountain ♪

♪ Spent a little time
on the hill ♪

♪ I heard some say

♪ "Better run away"

♪ Others say
"Better stand still" ♪

Hart: It got so chaotic,

you couldn't take it
out of the bag.

We wanted to make
a statement saying that:

"You guys got to police
yourselves," you know?

You gotta be good neighbors,
you don't want to...

You can't be pee on the lawns
and everything.

You have to respect people.

McNally: What we
were trying to do

was simply preserve
our ability to do a show

under conditions in which
you had far too many people

saying "Oh, I'm just
here for the party,

even if I can't
get into the show."

And it's all too much.

Jerry Garcia did not
bargain to be the mayor

of a traveling
counter-cultural town.

Listen, please,
because this is serious.

McNally: And so I'd
get the band members

to record these letters.

...so at our sold-out shows,
if you don't have a ticket,

- please don't come.
- Got any extra tickets?

- Lesh: We really mean this.
- Just one ticket.

Jerry just couldn't bring
himself to do one of those.

Uh, but Phil didn't mind.

Folks who run this shop,

I need it starting
to be shut down now.

Lesh: We wrote more than one
open letter to Deadheads.

The area around every
Grateful Dead concert

is subject to the local
legal system.

- But it did nothing.
- Deadhead: Come on.

It's a joke.

Deadheads are a determined
bunch, though,

you know, uh, not much
for listening to rules.

When they were younger guys,

first startin' out
on this thing,

they decided just, "Okay,

"the rules aren't
cuttin' it for me.

"Society's typical way of dealing
with things isn't cuttin' it for me,

and I want to follow
my intuition."

I'm coming in, brother.

I'm coming in.

I got you.

Female Deadhead:
They cut loose.

By doing that,

their music has grown

into this blossoming
monster, you know?

So we do the same thing,

and they do the same thing.

The Dead's fans have always been

among the mellowest
on a music scene,

but lately they've been
having some problems.

Reporter: Charges
against Deadheads ranging

from public lewdness
and disturbing the peace

to using and selling drugs.

Hart:
It was a scary thing,

because you don't want
to wake up in the morning

finding people
are in jail, or deaths.

I said, "Oh man,
this is dangerous."

You know, we'll be responsible

for things that we can't control

or that they can't control,
and it'll get out of hand.

♪ One way or another

♪ One way or another

♪ One way or another

♪ This darkness got to give

McNally: Many of the people
without tickets

have no responsibility
or obligation to our scene.

It's up to you as Deadheads
to educate these people

and to pressure them
into acting like Deadheads

instead of maniacs.

They can only
get away with this crap

if you let them.

If you're not
part of the solution,

you're part of the problem.

Yeah, don't you do that.

The spirit of the Grateful
Dead is at stake,

and we'll do
what we have to do...

- Yeah.
- ...to protect it.

Yeah. I mean, the whole point
with the Grateful Dead

was we didn't tell anybody,
you know, to do nothin',

you know?

Just the idea is repellent.

The idea that we're gonna now

start telling people
how to behave.

I mean, we're not the
government, you know?

We're just musicians,

and it's enough
to try to control...

McNally: The main thing

was getting Jerry
to co-sign the message.

But he was such an
anti-authoritarian.

He was just said,
"Get somebody else to do it."

Man: Well, Phil said
that he would like Deadheads

to not bring hard drugs
around the Dead.

How do you feel about that?

I think drugs are really
a personal thing,

and anybody... everybody has
the right to take 'em...

- Mm-hmm.
- ...as far as I'm concerned.

- Yeah.
- And in my world,

everything is legal, you know,

and everybody can do
whatever they want,

and, I mean, I...

John Barlow: Jerry
did not do messages.

Period. End of story.

Man: Is there anything
that you feel Deadheads can do

to help out the Grateful Dead?

Garcia: Yeah, they can
keep having fun.

I mean, there was certainly
an underlying message

that was about
thinking for yourself.

Ignore alien orders.

Steve Parish: Jerry never
liked to talk to the audience

'cause he realized that they
hung on his every word.

Everybody in the audience
would think

that Jerry was there
to play to them that night.

And he was. He tried to.

He liked to have
the lights up a little bit

so he could see
the faces of the audience.

- He drew off of them.
- ♪ Drifting and dreaming

You gotta remember,

when you start
with the early days...

you couldn't tell the difference

between the stage
and the audience.

It was just
an extension of that.

But as time went on,

Jerry became
this icon to people.

And that became impossible.

Weir: I had a tough time

walking the streets
of any town we were in.

Jerry couldn't do it,
flat couldn't.

He was stuck in a hotel room
wherever we went.

He couldn't go out.

And there were people

scaling the walls of the hotel

trying to get at him.

That just drove him nuts.

Trixie: I spent
a lot of time on stage

staring at the audience

and just wondering
what they're seeing,

why are they so enraptured?

But I remember, um,

just knowing
that I shouldn't go out

and mingle with the Deadheads.

There had already been

kind of certain breaches
of personal space.

I think Jerry was already
a little freaked out

about the weird, um, things

that people
were projecting on him.

♪ Dear Mr. Fantasy,
play us a tune ♪

♪ Something
to make us all happy ♪

♪ Do anything

♪ Take us out of this gloom

♪ Sing a song, play guitar

♪ Make it snappy

♪ You are the one...

Weir: We were just
beset by people

who had just gone off
into this imaginary world...

♪ You break, you break
down in tears ♪

...to the point where
Jerry was basically

a messiah figure.

♪ ...a straight mind you had

♪ Wouldn't have known you

♪ All these years

Woman: How do you feel
about the fact

that you enjoy such
a divine-like status

in the eyes
of so many of your fans?

I mean, yeah, but I don't think

anybody takes it that seriously,

- you know what I mean?
- You might be surprised.

Well...

Then I'll... I'll put up with it

until they come for me
with the cross and nails.

You know?

One of the things that upsets me

about what happened
with Jerry in the nineties

was how isolated he was

in the middle of this
incredible community.

And I think he was
really suffering,

particularly after
Brent Mydland died.

It was obvious
that Jerry and Brent

really had some kind
of very deep

and mutually, uh,
enriching connection.

Weir: After Brent died
from heroin overdose,

the music kind of
sagged a little bit.

I think Jerry... the... the fact

that he was kind of
shut in by circumstance,

and you add on top of that
the band is not what it was...

well, that's a little...

That's a place where the plot
sort of turns a little bit,

and, uh, and he started
looking for a way to get out.

♪ I'd rather be
in some dark hollow ♪

♪ Where the sun
don't ever shine ♪

♪ Then to be

♪ In some big city

♪ In a small room

♪ With you upon my mind

Brigid Meier: April, 1990...

I get a letter from Jerry.

I haven't seen him, really,

for 28 years.

And he said,
"I'll always love you."

Okay.

What am I supposed
to do with that?

Then, a year later,

there was a note
from Dennis McNally,

their publicist,

the designated liaison.

And he said, "Call me.

Jerry would like to see you."

But, I mean,

he was living
with somebody else,

had a child with someone else.

In order to have a conversation,

we had to couch it
as an interview.

Garcia: I mean, you really
sort of started me going.

You bought me
that guitar, you know?

You're partly responsible!

So I took a tape recorder
and did an interview.

Yeah.

It goes by fast.

The last fifteen years
has been furious.

I'm sorry to hear that.

We never decided to go somewhere

or to become something,
you know what I mean?

Yeah, it's funny...
It's funny... it's...

At some point or another,

after I got out of the hospital,

when I had my coma and all that,

somewhere in there
I... I... I kind of...

I have this memory now...

I don't know
where it came from...

That's like as though you and I

had continued with our
lives together somehow

and had a whole alternate life,

you know what I mean?
But it's like...

I mean, it was
incredibly awkward.

He says, "You know,

there's a part of me that
is still in love with you."

still is very much
in love with you, you know?

Still, always.

It's a little scary.

McNally: She interviewed him

for an article that would
appear in Tricycle.

It was the Buddhist magazine.

I arranged it.

She was Buddhist,

and he was curious about it.

McNally was actually
the mastermind.

I don't know if that's entirely
a story I want to tell.

Uh, suffice it to say...

He did all he could
to facilitate this.

There was something there.

Both of them felt it.

It became like
a military operation

to extricate Jerry
and get me in there.

And eventually he went
to Hawaii with Brigid.

I didn't know
what we were doing.

I had no idea what we were doing

until about day 3.

We... We started scuba diving.

I'd never done it before,

and he was...

masterful.

He was an extraordinary diver.

Bill Kreutzmann:
Jerry and I started diving,

I think back in '86.

You couldn't keep us
out of the water.

He loved diving.

He loved the ocean,

and and used to do
this thing with his hands

so it looked
like a squid, right?

Like that.

And fuckin'... out of nowhere

all these fish
would come around.

You know, it was like,
he had this attraction.

Whether it was fish,
audience, whatever, you know,

He always had this way
of attracting things.

We liked to dive

because it has
a sense of freedom

that I don't know where
else you could get that.

Here was this beautiful
buffer, the ocean,

that kept all that
outside shit away.

You didn't have to
sign autographs

or any of that crap.

Meier: So he turned me on
to that world of his.

And I loved it.

I loved it.

At one point,

we're tired after diving
and hanging out.

He just looks at me,
and he said...

"Would you marry me?"

I said, "Yeah, okay."

So I didn't know what we were
doing until that moment.

Then he got on the phone.

He calls Hunter,
and he calls everybody.

He says,
"We're getting married."

And he's all excited,
and he's all happy.

It's like, "Okay,
what do we gotta do?"

Acupuncture.

Quit smoking.

Exercise.

Walk around the lake every day.

We... We started
working on Bowflexes.

We had a trainer,
personal trainer.

Suddenly he feels creative

and he wants to start
writing songs.

Hey.

Get in there, fellers.

Meier: And it's like,
"Hunter, come on over."

They wrote six songs.

I mean, it was just this
amazing eruption of energy.

Okay, I'm ready.

1, 2, 3, 4.

Meier:
There was this feeling.

It was real.

I wasn't the only one
who felt it. They felt it.

It was like, we're back.

We're back to those days

when we used to pick you
up from high school

and drive around,

and we were all together,
and it was all new,

and it was all fresh,
and it was all...

alive.

McNally: Reconnecting with
someone after 30 years...

there's no way that you
can't feel, you know,

in some weird way
that you're young again.

Hunter certainly thought so.

He wrote "The Days Between"
about just that.

It's the last
Hunter-Garcia masterpiece.

It's about looking
back on your youth

and seeing your whole life

that has passed in the interval,

and that's...
That's "The Days Between."

It's your life.

♪ Walked upon a mountaintop

♪ Walked barefoot
through the snow ♪

♪ Gave the best we had to give ♪

♪ How much we'll never know

♪ Never know

It wasn't me.

It was...

He got in touch
with a part of him.

I was just a catalyst, okay?

But he...

I think he had been
suffering for a long time

under the weight
and responsibility

of this behemoth.

I mean, at one point...
I can... I remember him.

We're in the kitchen,
we're talking,

and he said, "You know,

"I'd like to just live
on the ice cream money.

"You know, I could do that.

I could just live on that
and say the hell with this."

And, I said,
"Well, why don't you?"

"Oh, man, come on,

"do you know how many
people are depending

on this show
going down the road?"

And I understood in that moment.

It was a machine by then.

It wasn't just a bunch of guys

getting together
and making music.

This enormous community
was demanding

that he be the Grateful
Dead's Jerry Garcia.

Where's the freedom in that?

McNally: The Grateful
Dead became a weight.

By the Grateful Dead,
I do not mean the six guys,

I mean the phenomenon.

He had fifty people,
including me,

whose paycheck
he was in charge of.

And their families.

And a million people
who demanded that he play

eighty nights a year
for their happiness factor.

And it was a weight.

It was a responsibility.

This was a guy who didn't
want responsibility.

So he self-medicated

and had been doing so
for a very long time.

Meier: I can remember a
really chilling moment.

I'm backstage and I'm sitting
on the black equipment boxes.

And the doctor is telling me,

yeah, Jerry's using again.

Suddenly, it's all too obvious.

He's been out of it,

and he's been unpleasant
to be around.

And then the road manager,
he's saying,

"You know... you know,
Jerry's cool,

he's cool,
he can handle this."

I said, "Well why don't...
Why doesn't he go into rehab?"

"It's cool, he's gonna kick.
He always does,

and just, just
hang in there with it."

"Why don't we just
do an intervention?"

"Don't say anything.

"This is the Grateful Dead, man.

"We gotta keep this show goin'.

We gotta keep goin'."

Cutler: The secret of
longevity in the music business

is to get away from it.
Alright?

You gotta leave it man.
Fuck off.

Learn how to be
a deep sea fisherman.

Go SCUBA diving.
Whatever it is.

Snow skiing. Become, and be,
something completely else.

For somebody like Garcia, I mean,
that's the only way to survive.

Lesh: We had staff
that, you know,

depended on us for their living.

And we convinced ourselves
that we owed it

to our employees to keep going.

Right or wrong.

I could wish that we'd
thought more about Jerry.

And, uh...

So, yeah.
That's a...

That's a tender place.

Meier: So, after the show,

we go back to the hotel room.

I say, "I just want you to know

"that I know that you're using,

"and that's fine,
that's okay, that's cool.

"You do what you wanna do,
I don't... I'm not gonna try and stop you.

"I just really don't want
any secrets between us.

You know, I just
don't want any secrets."

And he looked at me,
and the room got cold,

and he says...

"I think it's time
for you to go now."

And he said, "You know,
I can't thank you enough,

but this isn't gonna work."

The band left,

and then I left for the airport.

I never saw him again.

That was that.

McNally: Have you ever had
a friend who was addicted?

Until they decide that
that's what they want,

everything you can say
is just gonna go

in one ear and out the other.

It's not like the band
didn't talk to him.

It's not like the band...
The band didn't, you know,

stage periodic, you know,
big throw down interventions.

That's the way it was.

Parish: He was my
boss, and my friend,

and somebody that I wanted
to protect from harm.

But could I help him save
himself from his own self?

I always thought of
Jerry as a strong guy.

I remember one time when a guy
came bolting out of the audience

so quick before
I could get to him,

and he was zeroed in
on grabbin' Jerry to hug him.

A lot of time people
would just want to

jump up there and hug 'em,
you know while he's playin'...

It's awkward.
And Jerry took his guitar,

and point foremost,
bang that guy

right in the solar plexus
and didn't miss a note,

and knocked him into my arms.

I said, well there,
you know, you see it.

He was strong, you know.

And, I didn't ever think

that he would get
deteriorated in that way.

Kreutzmann: I always thought
we were gonna be able

to get through to Jerry,

that we were gonna be able to
help get him into treatment.

We had seen
Jerry clean up and...

We've all racked our brains.

...and be in great shape.

What could we
have done differently?

I had faith that Jerry
would come back around.

The only thing we could have
done was to have taken a break.

Another break.

You know, and I would've-
I would've-

I would've been
okay with it this time.

But I never thought
that if we did take a break

that Jerry would stop.

He would just go out
with the Jerry Garcia Band

and keep going.

Trixie: Jerry was a
very strong individual.

Hart: Jerry Garcia was
a lot of great things.

You didn't tell Jerry
what to do.

He was a really cool guy.

You know, until
he killed himself.

Yeah, until he killed himself.

That's really what happened.

Barlow: I remember toward the
end of the fateful last tour,...

they were playing
Meadowlands in New Jersey.

And I turned around,

and there's Garcia
looking all white.

You know, everything's,
like, his beard, his face,

his skin is, like,
he's-he's kind of like

a luminous white figure,

already kind of angelic.

And I think he'd
just had enough.

Cutler: Garcia was suffering,
being in the Grateful Dead.

I don't think that
it was the dream

that he, you know,
wanted realized.

The Grateful Dead had become

a hugely successful
rock and roll band,

and in the process, of course,

they lost certain things.

Paumgarten:
You see people cheering

even when they should be crying.

Either because
the performance is very poor

or because the song is-is,
you know, is a dirge.

♪ Yesterday I begged you

♪ Before I hit the ground

Paumgarten: He's singing
about his own death,

looking like he's about to die.

♪ All I leave behind me

♪ Is only what I found

Paumgarten:
When I was younger,

it made the music more
interesting for me.

But by '95,

it was a depressing and
pretty intense experience.

You know, he had
something in him

that embraced his own
self-destruction.

Garcia: I feel that
my real responsibility

is to the audience
in the now, you know?

There was a conscious
decision in my life

to be involved in something
that was flowing,

and dynamic, and living...

and not so solid that you
couldn't tear it down.

Something that had
a life of its own

and I was just a part of it.

McNally: Monuments are an
attempt to subvert death.

To transcend death.

To make a monument of
something freezes it forever.

That is exactly opposite
what Jerry wanted.

From the very beginning,
Jerry wanted to do something

in real time

and to touch people's hearts.

He wanted to make
the Grateful Dead

as open-ended as possible.

Garcia: For me it
has a lot to do with

getting out of the way,
you know what I mean?

At some point I decided
not to be "me"

and to be "they."

When it's something more
than my own little self.

That's it, that's the goal.

McNally: In the last year and a
half, two year of his life,

when the diabetes was
playing havoc with his moods,

I knew he didn't
want to do interviews,

and so I didn't ask him.

But six months before he died,

I got a request,
and I took one look

and I went "This
he's going to want to do."

Garcia: My mother, I think,
must of taken me to see it.

McNally: The interview was for a
show on the American Movie Channel

called "The Movie
That Changed My Life."

Garcia:
You know I had my head down

and I cried
and except occasionally

I would glimpse the screen
and go, "Oh, ah!"

He immediately just sat down

and said, "Oh yeah!"

And started talking
for half an hour.

Garcia: That whole
business evoked something.

It like, touched something,
you know what I mean?

Something... I don't know what.

Something very strong.

It might have been the-
the thing of

a dead thing brought to life.

Frankenstein's Monster,
after all,

is a drive to reanimate or to...

To produce life.

Dr. Frankenstein:
It's alive.

Garcia: And it hit me in
that archetypal center.

Dr. Frankenstein:
It's alive!

You know like, vaboom, you know?

Dong, you know?

♪ Death don't

♪ Have no mercy

♪ In this land

Garcia:
But, really it's workin'.

The Grateful Dead is this
living, breathing thing.

♪ Death don't

It's not up to us to define it.

♪ Have no mercy

Or to enclose it in any way.

♪ In this land

It's whatever it is.

♪ In this land

I think that's one of
the parts of its magic.

The effect seems to be
not defining it

is that it becomes everything.

Woman: Nancy Smith and Ed
Rooney were the two winners,

but we're gonna break in
and break format,

- um, for a moment here.
- Man: Yes.

Woman:
We just got some real bad news.

Reporter:
Okay, that's fantastic.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

My pleasure.
I really enjoyed it.

Male reporter: Could I
take a few quick photos?

Oh, god, if you have to.

Male Reporter 2:
It's incredibly tragic,

and it's a little
frustrating right now

because we don't know
anything more than the fact

that Jerry Garcia has died.

He was found dead
a couple of hours ago.

Male Reporter 3: There's no easy
way to break this news to you,

but it's true, the unthinkable,

and the inevitable has happened,

and Jerry's gone.

Male Reporter 4: ...Grateful
Dead died earlier this morning

in California,
of an apparent heart attack.

Male Reporter 5: He's said to have
died with a smile on his face.

Garcia: Well, thanks a lot,
you guys, I certainly enjoyed it.

Woman:
Thank you.

♪ Fare you well, my honey

♪ Fare you well,
my only true one ♪

♪ All the birds
that were singing ♪

♪ Are flown

♪ Except you alone

Man: Hi. Bob would like
to make a brief statement,

and please, no questions.

♪ Going to leave
this brokedown palace ♪

Well, I guess some sad
news has come our way.

This morning, Jerry Garcia,

our friend and my brother,

passed away.

And I guess not much
can be said about that,

except that we also
have to remember

that his life was a...

far more a blessing
for all of us.

And I think we should,
perhaps, if we're gonna

dwell on anything,
dwell on that.

Thank you.

♪ In a bed, in a bed

♪ By the waterside
I will lay my head ♪

♪ Listen to the river
sing sweet songs ♪

♪ To rock my soul

Weir: Jerry wasn't interested
in building something

that will stand
the test of time.

But I-I don't think
that what we see

as time can put an end
to what we had.

I think it was, is,
and will be there.

Those moments were more alive

than-than anything
that a heart pumps out.

That's what we were living for.

And that was what we were
trying to coax through

on any given night on stage.

That was the fun.

That was the fun
he was talking about.

That's eternity.

♪ River gonna take me

♪ Sing me sweet and sleepy

♪ Sing me sweet and sleepy

♪ All the way back back home

♪ It's a far gone lullaby

♪ Sung many years ago

♪ Mama, Mama,
many worlds I've come ♪

♪ Since I first left home

♪ Going home, going home

♪ By the waterside
I will rest my bones ♪

♪ Listen to the river
sing sweet songs ♪

♪ To rock my soul

Garcia: I'm real happy
with the Grateful Dead.

I'm real happy with it.

What I'm hopin' is to be able to

see some way of extending
this idea beyond ourselves.

You know what I mean?
I wanna be feeling

that this idea
can continue without us.

It doesn't have to be
the Grateful Dead,

but something, you know?

Kerouac's books opened up
doors for me that...

That put me in
this life, you know?

I would like to do that
for somebody else,

you know what I mean?

And then it will
be there for anybody

who's got the spirit
to go for it.

♪ Fare you well, fare you well ♪

♪ I love you more
than words can tell ♪

♪ Listen to the river
sing sweet songs ♪

♪ To rock my soul

♪ Doo-doo-doo, doo-doo-doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo doo-doo-doo,
doo-doo doo-doo ♪

♪ Doo-doo-doo

♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo

♪ Doo doo-doo-doo

♪ Doo-doo doo-doo

♪ Doo-doo do doo-doo-doo

♪ Doo-doo doo-doo

♪ If my words did glow ♪

♪ With the gold of sunshine ♪

♪ And my tunes were played ♪

♪ On the harp unstrung ♪

♪ Would you hear my voice ♪

♪ Come through
the music? ♪

♪ Would you hold it near ♪

♪ Let there be songs

♪ To fill the air

♪ Ripple in still water ♪

♪ When there is
no pebble tossed ♪

♪ Nor wind to blow

♪ Reach out your hand ♪

♪ That path is for

♪ Your steps alone

♪ Ripple in still water ♪

♪ When there is
no pebble tossed ♪

♪ Nor wind to blow

♪ You who choose

♪ To lead must follow ♪

♪ But if you fall

♪ You fall alone

♪ If you should stand ♪

♪ Then who's
to guide you? ♪

♪ If I knew the way

♪ I would take you home ♪

♪ La-da-da-da

♪ La-da-da-da-da-da

♪ Da-da-da, da-da

♪ Da-da, da-da-da

♪ Da-da-da-da

♪ Da-da-da-da-da-da

♪ Da-da-da-da

♪ Da-da da-da da

Thanks a lot.

See you in a little while.

♪ I wanna tell you
how it's gonna be ♪

♪ You're gonna
give your love to me ♪

♪ I wanna love you
night and day ♪

♪ You know my love
will not fade away ♪

♪ You know my love
will not fade away ♪

♪ Not fade away

♪ My love is bigger
than a Cadillac ♪

♪ I try to show you
but you drive me back ♪

♪ Your love for me
has got to be real ♪

♪ You're gonna know
just how I feel ♪

♪ Our love is real,
not fade away ♪

♪ Not fade away