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1
00:00:02,045 --> 00:00:04,613
Okay. One, two, three.
2
00:00:04,656 --> 00:00:06,049
[grunting]
3
00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:08,965
That was a tie
if I've ever seen one.
4
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,575
Not that I can see that far.
5
00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:12,316
-I really shouldn't be driving.
-[chuckles]
6
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,057
Good job.
7
00:00:14,101 --> 00:00:16,320
How 'bout that?
My former crush, Max,
8
00:00:16,364 --> 00:00:19,541
and my boyfriend, Oscar,
getting along like gangbusters.
9
00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:23,066
Hey. Want to try
my homemade salsa?
10
00:00:23,110 --> 00:00:24,850
You just poured it out of a jar.
11
00:00:24,894 --> 00:00:27,636
Hey. Want to try
my home-poured salsa?
12
00:00:27,679 --> 00:00:29,246
[chuckling]
13
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:30,943
Mm. Speaking of salsa,
14
00:00:30,987 --> 00:00:33,120
do you want to go salsa dancing
with me sometime?
15
00:00:33,163 --> 00:00:34,817
Um, yes!
16
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:36,297
And be warned...
17
00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:38,647
[chuckles]:
I am a great salsa dancer!
18
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,344
At sleepaway camp,
I had to choose
19
00:00:40,388 --> 00:00:42,825
between salsa and archery,
and I chose salsa,
20
00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:44,435
'cause Hunger Games
hadn't come out yet
21
00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,133
and we didn't know
how cool archery could be.
22
00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:48,091
Well, I am excited
to go dancing with you.
23
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:49,353
I used to go with
my ex-girlfriend all the time.
24
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:50,441
We had a lot of fun.
25
00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:53,401
I hope that's not weird,
to bring up my ex.
26
00:00:53,444 --> 00:00:55,229
No! Of course not.
27
00:00:55,272 --> 00:00:56,752
Everybody has a past.
28
00:00:56,795 --> 00:00:58,319
I ain't scared of no ghost.
[chuckles]
29
00:00:58,362 --> 00:01:00,147
What do you mean, "ghost"?
She's not dead.
30
00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:02,975
No, she's not.
I have no idea why I said that.
31
00:01:05,152 --> 00:01:07,023
Oh, Katharine.
32
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,982
You found a real winner
with this Oscar.
33
00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:11,680
KAT:
He and I are gonna go salsa dancing.
34
00:01:11,723 --> 00:01:13,464
Do you remember when I did salsa
at sleepaway camp?
35
00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:14,770
Polka.
36
00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,424
No, it was salsa.
37
00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:18,034
It was polka.
38
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,514
I remember the recital.
39
00:01:19,557 --> 00:01:21,472
I had to buy you lederhosen.
40
00:01:22,995 --> 00:01:24,345
Oh.
41
00:01:24,388 --> 00:01:25,868
That's right.
42
00:01:25,911 --> 00:01:27,957
They chafed.
[hisses]
43
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,046
♪
44
00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:35,921
Hey.
45
00:01:35,965 --> 00:01:37,445
I'm about to do a thing
46
00:01:37,488 --> 00:01:39,142
where I keep bugging you
until I get what I want.
47
00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:41,318
So it's just a normal day then?
48
00:01:41,362 --> 00:01:44,016
I got a Groupon
for a beginner salsa class,
49
00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:46,497
and I didn't realize
I have to bring my own partner.
50
00:01:46,541 --> 00:01:49,500
I thought "BYOP" meant
"bring your own paella."
51
00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:52,155
Couple things. Uh, that's
something you should be doing
52
00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:53,983
with your boyfriend, and...
53
00:01:54,026 --> 00:01:55,550
No, it's just the one thing.
54
00:01:55,593 --> 00:01:57,465
Well, I can't ask Oscar.
55
00:01:57,508 --> 00:01:59,380
I'm trying to get good at it
before I go dancing with him.
56
00:01:59,423 --> 00:02:01,164
You can't ask the person
you're trying to impress
57
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:02,818
to help you impress them.
58
00:02:02,861 --> 00:02:04,298
Max, please?
59
00:02:04,341 --> 00:02:06,169
You'll be fine.
You're a good dancer.
60
00:02:06,213 --> 00:02:07,823
Yeah, but I've never done salsa.
61
00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:09,781
And he used to do it
with his ex-girlfriend,
62
00:02:09,825 --> 00:02:12,393
so, in my mind, it's like she's
challenged me to a dance battle,
63
00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:14,221
which I cannot lose.
64
00:02:14,264 --> 00:02:16,179
I'm really sorry, Kat, but
I'm already a good salsa dancer.
65
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:18,790
So taking a beginner class
sounds muyboring.
66
00:02:18,834 --> 00:02:20,618
Wait, you salsa?
67
00:02:20,662 --> 00:02:22,490
Mm-hmm. I picked it up
when I was living in Barcelona.
68
00:02:22,533 --> 00:02:24,927
Brigitte and I would hit
the salsa clubs all the time.
69
00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:27,451
We were known
as les meilleurs à la salsa.
70
00:02:27,495 --> 00:02:29,845
Wh-What does that mean?
71
00:02:29,888 --> 00:02:32,239
It means our chemistry
electrified the dance floor
72
00:02:32,282 --> 00:02:33,588
and people would stare,
73
00:02:33,631 --> 00:02:35,590
wishing they were us.
74
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:37,505
That little phrase
means all that?
75
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,510
Well, if you're so advanced,
why don't you teach me then?
76
00:02:42,553 --> 00:02:44,076
You've been saying
you want to do more tutoring.
77
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:45,208
Tutor away!
78
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:46,383
Show me all your salsa moves--
79
00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:48,646
mild, medium and extra spicy.
80
00:02:48,690 --> 00:02:49,995
Come on, Max.
81
00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:51,214
Just, like, two lessons.
82
00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:52,737
Uh, I don't think so.
83
00:02:54,130 --> 00:02:55,740
Oh, I get it.
84
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:56,872
Get what?
85
00:02:56,915 --> 00:02:58,874
You don't know how to salsa.
86
00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:01,006
-[scoffs]
-You lied about it to get out
87
00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:03,574
of going to the class and
now you're just doubling down.
88
00:03:03,618 --> 00:03:04,923
I know how to salsa.
89
00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:06,447
Yeah, I-I don't think you do.
90
00:03:06,490 --> 00:03:08,362
I mean,
I've watched a lot of videos,
91
00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:11,147
and you can just tell when
someone has that salsa de fuego.
92
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,236
Oh, I have the salsa de fuego,
93
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,977
and it is muy caliente.
94
00:03:15,020 --> 00:03:16,326
Tonight.
95
00:03:16,370 --> 00:03:17,327
At 8:00.
96
00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:18,633
Okay then.
97
00:03:18,676 --> 00:03:20,243
Tonight at 8:00.
98
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:21,766
I'll believe it when I see it.
99
00:03:21,810 --> 00:03:24,029
[chuckles]
100
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,990
Randi, honey, I'd be careful
drinking that much caffeine.
101
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:32,299
That's how we induce labor
if a sow's past her due date.
102
00:03:32,342 --> 00:03:34,170
I didn't sleep at all
last night.
103
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:35,606
I tried counting sheep,
104
00:03:35,650 --> 00:03:37,042
but then they all had
Daniel's face,
105
00:03:37,086 --> 00:03:38,827
and I got so mad.
106
00:03:38,870 --> 00:03:41,264
You want one
of my mama's sleeping pills?
107
00:03:41,308 --> 00:03:43,266
She left some at my house.
108
00:03:43,310 --> 00:03:45,181
I always wait
till she's zonked-out on one
109
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:48,010
before I cut her toenails
or she might kick me.
110
00:03:48,053 --> 00:03:49,272
See this tooth?
111
00:03:49,316 --> 00:03:50,534
Fake.
112
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:54,277
I'm willing to try anything
at this point.
113
00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:55,670
Okay, I'll bring some tomorrow.
114
00:03:55,713 --> 00:03:57,106
But you be careful.
115
00:03:57,149 --> 00:03:59,108
I took one
on a flight to Lubbock.
116
00:03:59,151 --> 00:04:00,805
I thought
I went to the bathroom.
117
00:04:00,849 --> 00:04:02,677
I actually peed
in the middle of the aisle.
118
00:04:02,720 --> 00:04:04,592
Had to spend
the rest of the flight zip-tied
119
00:04:04,635 --> 00:04:06,115
to my tray table.
120
00:04:07,769 --> 00:04:09,466
Hey, Randi.
Check it out.
121
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:12,426
I just got the cutest dress
to go dancing with Oscar.
122
00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:14,341
Ooh, that's hot.
123
00:04:14,384 --> 00:04:16,517
But you know that thing's not
gonna make you dance any better.
124
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,475
It's not like the suit
from Iron Man.
125
00:04:18,519 --> 00:04:20,390
Yes, I've got that covered.
126
00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:22,044
Max is gonna teach me.
127
00:04:22,087 --> 00:04:24,351
Uh, do you really think
that's a good idea,
128
00:04:24,394 --> 00:04:26,178
considering
that you've had a crush on Max
129
00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:28,006
-for the past two decades?
-[sighs]
130
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:30,182
I've given it a lot of thought,
and here's why it's fine.
131
00:04:30,226 --> 00:04:32,228
I'm completely falling
for Oscar.
132
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,186
So, right now,
every other man in the world
133
00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:36,711
is just a sexless "blech"
in a baseball cap.
134
00:04:37,886 --> 00:04:39,366
Oh, uh, not you.
135
00:04:39,409 --> 00:04:40,497
Not him.
136
00:04:40,541 --> 00:04:41,977
He's not a sexless "blech."
137
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:44,196
-[mouths]
-[Phil shrieks]
138
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,807
Oh, my Lord, child,
it's a miracle.
139
00:04:45,850 --> 00:04:47,504
-What, Phil?
-What's a miracle?
140
00:04:47,548 --> 00:04:50,464
This bun looks exactly like
the Holy Mother herself.
141
00:04:51,465 --> 00:04:52,901
Looks like Dolly Parton.
142
00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:53,902
Exactly!
143
00:04:53,945 --> 00:04:56,121
That's what I said.
144
00:04:56,165 --> 00:04:57,471
Did you bake it like that
on purpose?
145
00:04:57,514 --> 00:05:00,474
No! She just magically appeared.
146
00:05:00,517 --> 00:05:02,171
The spitting image
147
00:05:02,214 --> 00:05:06,784
of Dolly from the October 1978
cover of Playboy.
148
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:08,569
I remember,
'cause that's the only time
149
00:05:08,612 --> 00:05:10,658
-I bought that filthy magazine.
-[Kat chuckles]
150
00:05:13,400 --> 00:05:15,576
[salsa music playing softly]
151
00:05:16,881 --> 00:05:18,405
Now,
152
00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:19,928
I want you to imagine
a string coming out
153
00:05:19,971 --> 00:05:21,582
of the top of your head,
like a puppet.
154
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,279
Ooh, I like marionettes.
155
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,889
I still have my favorite,
Lady Juniper, upstairs.
156
00:05:24,933 --> 00:05:26,238
-Kat, I don't care.
-Okay.
157
00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:27,675
Now...
158
00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:29,851
[inhales]
think about the string
159
00:05:29,894 --> 00:05:30,852
and look at me.
160
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:32,723
[laughs]
161
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:34,377
-What?
-I'm sorry.
162
00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:36,248
I'm just having a laugh.
163
00:05:36,292 --> 00:05:37,641
'Cause, like, I'm looking at you
but, like, we're staring...
164
00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,077
Kat, be serious.
165
00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:40,992
With salsa,
eye contact is the way
166
00:05:41,036 --> 00:05:42,690
-to connect with your partner.
-Okay.
167
00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:44,431
-[inhales]
-Huh?
168
00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:45,910
-I'm gonna be looking at you...
-Mm-hmm.
169
00:05:45,954 --> 00:05:47,608
but I'm gonna be thinking
about cats.
170
00:05:47,651 --> 00:05:49,914
-Don't think about cats.
-Oh, it's already happening.
171
00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:50,959
♪
172
00:05:51,002 --> 00:05:52,569
Focus.
173
00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:53,831
Listen to the music.
174
00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:55,398
Okay.
175
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:56,921
There you go.
You're getting it.
176
00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:58,532
Oh, look at me.
177
00:05:58,575 --> 00:06:00,142
Making my salsa.
178
00:06:00,185 --> 00:06:01,491
Chopping my onions.
179
00:06:01,535 --> 00:06:03,363
Adding my lime juice.
[giggling]
180
00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:05,408
What did I say about jokes?
181
00:06:05,452 --> 00:06:07,105
Not to make them.
182
00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:09,151
And what did I say
about eye contact?
183
00:06:09,194 --> 00:06:11,066
To have it.
184
00:06:11,109 --> 00:06:12,197
Good.
185
00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:14,069
Now...
186
00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:15,853
keep the hips moving in time.
187
00:06:15,897 --> 00:06:18,029
Feel the rhythm
188
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:20,815
and let my body tell your body
where it should go.
189
00:06:20,858 --> 00:06:22,382
♪
190
00:06:25,341 --> 00:06:27,604
["Swift Cubano" by Juan Zavala
and Eddie Grey playing]
191
00:06:34,568 --> 00:06:36,221
♪
192
00:06:46,318 --> 00:06:48,843
Remember when I didn't think Max
teaching me would be a problem?
193
00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:50,932
I'm starting to see the problem.
194
00:06:51,889 --> 00:06:53,848
Problem solved.
195
00:06:53,891 --> 00:06:55,980
[pants]
Where'd that come from?
196
00:06:56,024 --> 00:06:57,286
From me.
197
00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:58,722
Feeling the rhythm,
198
00:06:58,766 --> 00:07:00,507
telling my body
where it should go.
199
00:07:00,550 --> 00:07:02,204
-[chuckles]
-[grunts]
200
00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:09,690
Randi, it's 1:00 in the morning.
What are you doing out here?
201
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:12,606
[chuckles] I couldn't sleep,
so I figured I'd go for a run.
202
00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,564
Sounds like you got ex-somnia.
203
00:07:14,608 --> 00:07:16,392
Don't you mean "insomnia"?
204
00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:19,134
If you're thinking
about your ex, it's ex-somnia.
205
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:21,615
Yeah, well,
then that's what I got.
206
00:07:21,658 --> 00:07:23,530
You know, I've been trying
online blackjack
207
00:07:23,573 --> 00:07:25,096
for my ex-somnia.
208
00:07:25,140 --> 00:07:26,837
Getting my drink on
helps a little bit, too.
209
00:07:26,881 --> 00:07:28,665
Yeah.
210
00:07:28,709 --> 00:07:30,450
You might be right.
211
00:07:30,493 --> 00:07:32,060
I think I'm gonna go check out
this cute little bar
212
00:07:32,103 --> 00:07:33,583
that's still open
down the street.
213
00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:36,281
-Jog your ass in here.
-[chuckles]
214
00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:41,330
Mother, did you get my message
about Phil's Dolly bun?
215
00:07:41,373 --> 00:07:42,723
Why do you think I'm here?
216
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:45,508
Oh, Phil,
my pageant friend Jeannie
217
00:07:45,552 --> 00:07:47,423
is Dolly's new publicist,
218
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,512
so I shared the picture with her
on Insta,
219
00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:51,427
and she showed it to Dolly.
220
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,602
Oh, Sheila.
221
00:07:52,646 --> 00:07:54,474
If you are pulling my leg,
222
00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:58,521
I'll cut yours off and slap you
across the face with it.
223
00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:00,349
I am not kidding!
224
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:02,699
And she said Dolly's performing
tonight at the Opry
225
00:08:02,743 --> 00:08:04,309
and if we can get down
to Nashville,
226
00:08:04,353 --> 00:08:06,964
she'll take a picture with us
and the bun
227
00:08:07,008 --> 00:08:08,444
after the show.
228
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,533
Meeting Dolly's
on my whistle list.
229
00:08:10,577 --> 00:08:12,753
I worship the ground
she walks on.
230
00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:15,146
[squealing]
231
00:08:15,190 --> 00:08:17,584
Oh, Kat! Please, can I leave?
232
00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:21,109
Of course. You can't pass up
an opportunity like that.
233
00:08:21,152 --> 00:08:23,154
And don't forget to tell Dolly
Parton about Dolly Purr-ton.
234
00:08:23,198 --> 00:08:24,547
PHIL:
Oh, thank you!
235
00:08:24,591 --> 00:08:26,984
Thank you, thank you!
236
00:08:27,028 --> 00:08:28,856
-Hey.
-Hey.
237
00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,858
I'm, uh, literally sore.
238
00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:32,337
Like I worked out last night.
239
00:08:32,381 --> 00:08:34,078
-Like I did leg day.
-[chuckles]
240
00:08:34,122 --> 00:08:35,558
Can you stop smiling at me
like that?
241
00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:37,168
You're making me feel exposed.
242
00:08:37,212 --> 00:08:38,561
I'll try.
243
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:40,563
-Nope, not possible.
-[laughs]
244
00:08:40,607 --> 00:08:43,174
Uh, and I have class tonight,
so I won't see you.
245
00:08:43,218 --> 00:08:44,306
But I will be thinking of you
246
00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:45,786
and thinking of last night.
247
00:08:45,829 --> 00:08:47,439
Well, I can't stop you
from thinking,
248
00:08:47,483 --> 00:08:48,876
so think away.
249
00:08:48,919 --> 00:08:50,660
[chuckles]
250
00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:52,749
Randi. Randi.
251
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,664
Can I run a moral quandary
by you?
252
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:57,145
You know how I had that salsa
lesson with Max last night?
253
00:08:57,188 --> 00:08:59,103
-Uh-huh.
-Well, afterward,
254
00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:03,368
I had a particularly sensual,
consensual evening with Oscar.
255
00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:05,457
Kat, we're roomies.
I heard everything.
256
00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:07,111
It sounded like y'all
was installing hardwood floors
257
00:09:07,155 --> 00:09:08,112
in there.
258
00:09:08,156 --> 00:09:09,897
Okay.
259
00:09:09,940 --> 00:09:11,420
Not embarrassed by that at all.
260
00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:13,030
Well, I-I'm feeling
a little guilty
261
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:15,076
because I think
I may have transferred some
262
00:09:15,119 --> 00:09:17,339
of the spiciness of salsa
with Max to Oscar.
263
00:09:17,382 --> 00:09:18,688
It was just really...
264
00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:20,342
Wh-What was that for?
265
00:09:20,385 --> 00:09:21,822
I told you
you were playing with fire.
266
00:09:21,865 --> 00:09:23,388
I had to put you out.
267
00:09:24,389 --> 00:09:26,087
Okay, but I-I don't want
to be with Max.
268
00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,610
I want to be with Oscar.
269
00:09:27,654 --> 00:09:29,481
The problem is
you didn't tell Oscar
270
00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:30,874
that you were dancing with Max.
271
00:09:30,918 --> 00:09:32,615
-[sighs]
-Or getting heated up by Max.
272
00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,312
And unless you're planning
a surprise party,
273
00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:36,314
you should hide nothing
from your partner.
274
00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:37,315
Okay, but what...
275
00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:39,013
Nothing.
276
00:09:41,015 --> 00:09:42,146
Hey, teach.
277
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:43,844
Great dance lesson last night.
278
00:09:43,887 --> 00:09:46,194
Thank you, thank you.
Great learning last night.
279
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:48,065
[chuckles]
280
00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:50,459
-I actually have to cancel...
-I have to cancel tonight.
281
00:09:50,502 --> 00:09:52,461
-Why can't you make... [laughs]
-Why can't you make... [laughs]
282
00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:53,984
You go first.
283
00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,986
Well, honestly...
284
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:58,510
it felt a little bit
like I was cheating on Oscar.
285
00:09:58,554 --> 00:09:59,990
Like, 'cause I was dancing
286
00:10:00,034 --> 00:10:01,992
with another guy.
Even though it's you.
287
00:10:02,036 --> 00:10:03,733
Yeah, no, that makes sense.
I felt a little weird, too.
288
00:10:03,777 --> 00:10:05,387
-Especially 'cause it's salsa.
-[exhales]
289
00:10:05,430 --> 00:10:07,215
Exactly. Like, if it were polka,
290
00:10:07,258 --> 00:10:09,173
we wouldn't even be having
this conversation, you know?
291
00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:11,785
Polka's a lot more oom-pah-pah,
a lot less "ooh, papi."
292
00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:13,656
[chuckles]
293
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,050
You know what would be great?
294
00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:17,747
-Hmm?
-Is if you had a girlfriend
295
00:10:17,791 --> 00:10:19,662
and the four of us
could all go dancing together.
296
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:20,750
You know? Get on that.
297
00:10:20,794 --> 00:10:21,795
Get yourself a girlfriend.
298
00:10:21,838 --> 00:10:23,405
Well, I'm working on it.
299
00:10:23,448 --> 00:10:26,147
-Oh, really? With who?
-With Brigitte.
300
00:10:26,190 --> 00:10:28,410
I'm actually making
a little progress on that front.
301
00:10:28,453 --> 00:10:30,630
Oh. That's great.
302
00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:32,457
Yeah, in fact, I'm thinking
about surprising her
303
00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:33,633
in Paris this summer.
304
00:10:33,676 --> 00:10:34,721
Like...
[inhales]
305
00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,548
Like, a big, grand gesture.
306
00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:38,202
Probably something
on the Eiffel Tower.
307
00:10:38,246 --> 00:10:40,248
Wow, that sounds so romantic.
308
00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:42,250
That way, if she rejects me,
you know, I can just...
309
00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:43,512
boop.
310
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,210
You're gonna push her off?
311
00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:48,212
I'm just saying,
it gets windy up there.
312
00:10:48,256 --> 00:10:50,214
[laughs]
313
00:10:50,258 --> 00:10:52,521
Your friend says
that when we get to the Opry,
314
00:10:52,564 --> 00:10:54,915
we give the password
to the security guard.
315
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:57,004
"Hard Candy Christmas."
316
00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:58,701
Then we can pull
317
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,834
right up to her tour bus!
[chuckles]
318
00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,313
[both squeal]
319
00:11:02,357 --> 00:11:03,837
-[chuckles]
-You know, I never told
320
00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:05,447
Katharine, but...
321
00:11:05,490 --> 00:11:08,015
I had a bit of the baby blues
after I had her.
322
00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:09,712
So I would play Dolly's
323
00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:11,932
"I Will Always Love You"
on a loop
324
00:11:11,975 --> 00:11:15,283
to remind me how I was
supposed to feel about my baby.
325
00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:18,852
And eventually, I did.
326
00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:22,464
The song that got to me
was "Coat of Many Colors."
327
00:11:22,507 --> 00:11:24,031
If I ever opened a bakery,
328
00:11:24,074 --> 00:11:26,990
I was gonna call it
Coat of Many Crullers.
329
00:11:28,513 --> 00:11:30,385
Guess what our hours
were gonna be.
330
00:11:30,428 --> 00:11:31,734
9:00 to 5:00?
331
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:33,475
Bingo.
[laughing]
332
00:11:33,518 --> 00:11:35,695
[laughs]
333
00:11:35,738 --> 00:11:37,479
Oh, oh. Uh-oh.
334
00:11:37,522 --> 00:11:39,611
Looks like we're hitting
a bit of traffic.
335
00:11:39,655 --> 00:11:41,396
Oh, it's probably just a bend
in the road.
336
00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:43,398
Nothing to worry about.
337
00:11:43,441 --> 00:11:45,487
[siren wailing]
338
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:51,493
Nope.
339
00:11:51,536 --> 00:11:53,887
Still not gonna worry.
340
00:11:55,105 --> 00:11:57,673
[sighs] I have been watching
salsa videos
341
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,196
for the past three hours.
342
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,763
It started
with instructional videos,
343
00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:02,678
but then
it turned into salsa fails.
344
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,854
I watched a guy try and salsa
with a kangaroo.
345
00:12:04,898 --> 00:12:06,943
The kangaroo was not having it.
346
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:09,685
Grabbed that guy by the collar,
kicked him right in the nuts.
347
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,643
Ooh, that sounds horrible.
348
00:12:11,687 --> 00:12:13,384
Can you send me that video?
349
00:12:13,428 --> 00:12:15,386
Yeah, no problem.
350
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:17,649
Every time I close my eyes,
I see salsa fails.
351
00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:19,173
I don't know
how I'm gonna get to sleep.
352
00:12:19,216 --> 00:12:20,783
Oscar's working.
353
00:12:20,827 --> 00:12:23,133
I don't know why I'm looking
in the fridge.
354
00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:24,395
Hey, do you want to watch
355
00:12:24,439 --> 00:12:25,875
a movie with the sound off
356
00:12:25,919 --> 00:12:27,529
and make the people say
whatever we want?
357
00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:29,618
Uh, no, I'm okay.
I'm gonna go for a run.
358
00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:31,185
They've been helping me relax.
359
00:12:31,228 --> 00:12:32,882
Hmm. I don't like you running
at night.
360
00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:34,710
You know,
I have a holiday sweater
361
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,625
that has real lights on it
that you could wear.
362
00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:38,235
Oh, but then you'd be running
in an itchy sweater.
363
00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:39,846
Never mind. Have fun.
364
00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:41,499
[chuckles]: Don't worry,
I'm not going that far.
365
00:12:41,543 --> 00:12:43,284
And if you're having problems
getting to sleep,
366
00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:45,939
why don't you take one
of Phil's mama's sleeping pills.
367
00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:47,723
-Oh. All right.
-All right.
368
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,159
-Have a good time.
-[door opens]
369
00:12:49,203 --> 00:12:50,987
-Have a good night. Bye.
-Be safe.
370
00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:55,470
"Take as needed"?
371
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:57,211
Hmm.
372
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:03,695
[snoring]
373
00:13:03,739 --> 00:13:05,741
BRIGITTE:
Wake up, cheater.
374
00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:09,310
Brigitte?
375
00:13:09,353 --> 00:13:10,964
What are you doing here?
376
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:12,574
I am very mad at you.
377
00:13:12,617 --> 00:13:16,186
You have been dancing
with my boyfriend.
378
00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:25,848
I told him I am not dancing
with him anymore.
379
00:13:25,892 --> 00:13:27,502
Oh!
380
00:13:27,545 --> 00:13:29,460
I even told him
that I wished that you were here
381
00:13:29,504 --> 00:13:30,853
so we could all
hang out together.
382
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,376
That is very generous.
383
00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:35,075
I like you on sleeping pills.
[chuckles]
384
00:13:35,118 --> 00:13:36,946
I don't think they're working.
I'm not even tired.
385
00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:39,122
Mm.
386
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:40,645
You know,
I found your therapy website.
387
00:13:40,689 --> 00:13:43,170
I see your name.
I see your e-mail address.
388
00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:44,780
But I don't see
any pictures of you
389
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,564
'cause Max said
you have so many stalkers.
390
00:13:46,608 --> 00:13:49,916
Yes. I even tried to post
a weird one of me mid-sneeze.
391
00:13:49,959 --> 00:13:52,135
-But no. The stalking continued.
-Mm.
392
00:13:52,179 --> 00:13:54,007
I see a picture, oh,
of a happy couple
393
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:55,269
staring at a waterfall.
394
00:13:55,312 --> 00:13:57,053
You know...
[smacks lips]
395
00:13:57,097 --> 00:13:58,663
That makes me thirsty.
That makes me want root beer.
396
00:13:58,707 --> 00:14:00,187
Do you want some root beer?
I got a guy.
397
00:14:00,230 --> 00:14:01,666
I would love root beer
398
00:14:01,710 --> 00:14:02,842
-if it tastes like wine.
-You know what?
399
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,669
I'll just get you some wine.
400
00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:06,715
Then you are picking up
what I am putting down.
401
00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:07,934
[laughs]
402
00:14:10,545 --> 00:14:11,807
[horns honking]
403
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:13,200
-[phone chimes]
-Ah.
404
00:14:13,243 --> 00:14:14,810
Oh, your friend says
405
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:17,030
that Dolly
is halfway through her set.
406
00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:20,729
If things pick up,
we could still make it.
407
00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:23,601
-I'm starving, Phil.
-Me, too.
408
00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:25,560
I have an antacid
409
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:27,867
that I was not gonna
tell you about.
410
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:31,392
But I will split it with you.
411
00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:35,135
You know, if we're stuck here
much longer, we could...
412
00:14:35,178 --> 00:14:37,137
Do not even think about it,
Sheila.
413
00:14:37,180 --> 00:14:40,488
I'll slice you
like a Honey Baked Ham.
414
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:45,101
You just lost your half.
415
00:14:49,062 --> 00:14:50,541
Okay, so,
416
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:52,195
-you have to split those eights.
-Okay.
417
00:14:52,239 --> 00:14:53,414
Okay, now hit here.
418
00:14:53,457 --> 00:14:55,938
Stay. Now hit this one.
419
00:14:55,982 --> 00:14:57,897
-Ooh, that's what
I'm talking about. -[chuckles]
420
00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:59,942
Told you. My grandpa taught me
how to play blackjack.
421
00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:02,292
It's how I put myself
through grade school.
422
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:04,207
[chuckles]
I kept trying to get Daniel
423
00:15:04,251 --> 00:15:05,730
to go down to the riverboat
with me, but he kept saying,
424
00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:07,732
"Gambling
is a frivolous waste of money."
425
00:15:07,776 --> 00:15:09,647
You know,
the more I think about it,
426
00:15:09,691 --> 00:15:12,520
the more I realize that he had
a big old stick up his butt.
427
00:15:12,563 --> 00:15:14,478
You need to be
with somebody easygoing
428
00:15:14,522 --> 00:15:16,263
and knows how to have fun
like you do.
429
00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:18,221
Mm-mm. Randi doesn't need to be
430
00:15:18,265 --> 00:15:20,397
with anybody but Randi
right now.
431
00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:22,573
I get that. And Carter is
only dating Carter
432
00:15:22,617 --> 00:15:24,836
-for a while.
-[chuckles]: And why is that?
433
00:15:24,880 --> 00:15:27,056
'Cause CJ can't stand
his mom's new boyfriend.
434
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,710
And listening to him complain
about that dude
435
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:30,059
is the best part of my weekend.
436
00:15:30,103 --> 00:15:31,800
-[laughs]
-Yeah. I can't
437
00:15:31,843 --> 00:15:32,975
get a girlfriend
and give Stephanie
438
00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:34,716
that same satisfaction.
439
00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:36,631
Yeah. Yeah.
You know, I just need
440
00:15:36,674 --> 00:15:39,939
to start having some fun
where feelings don't ruin it.
441
00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:43,594
Like a friends with benefits
type situation?
442
00:15:43,638 --> 00:15:47,903
Well, I don't know if that ever
really works out for anybody.
443
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:51,211
Yeah. It's the kind of thing
you dream about, though.
444
00:15:51,254 --> 00:15:52,777
[banging at door]
445
00:15:54,518 --> 00:15:55,955
Uh-oh, busted.
446
00:16:00,220 --> 00:16:01,917
Hey, Kat. What's going on?
447
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,745
RANDI:
Hey.
448
00:16:03,788 --> 00:16:06,052
Uh, are you okay, Kat?
449
00:16:06,095 --> 00:16:08,576
♪ Everybody dance now.♪
450
00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:12,232
Uh...
451
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:21,589
Kat.
452
00:16:21,632 --> 00:16:23,025
You don't even see me.
453
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:25,985
♪ Root beer is the best beer.♪
454
00:16:27,812 --> 00:16:29,901
Uh-oh. She must have taken
455
00:16:29,945 --> 00:16:31,164
one of Phil's mama's
sleeping pills,
456
00:16:31,207 --> 00:16:32,295
and she's having a reaction.
457
00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:34,602
You mean tripping her balls off.
458
00:16:34,645 --> 00:16:35,951
I'm gonna make sure
she gets home okay.
459
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,953
Okay. Okay.
460
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,607
Damn.
461
00:16:39,650 --> 00:16:42,349
I just got Kat-blocked.
462
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:51,749
Hey. I brought you some coffee.
463
00:16:51,793 --> 00:16:53,708
What happened in here?
464
00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:55,449
Uh, you did.
465
00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:58,060
You were sleepwalking
last night.
466
00:16:58,104 --> 00:17:00,367
After my run, I found you trying
to get into the Middle C.
467
00:17:00,410 --> 00:17:02,021
I was sleepwalking?
468
00:17:02,064 --> 00:17:04,153
Yeah, you were. And then,
when I brought you back,
469
00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:06,199
you insisted that we bring
all the cats upstairs
470
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:07,852
because they had never seen
your room
471
00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:10,246
and you wanted to sleep
under a cat blanket.
472
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:13,989
Uh, it must have been
the sleeping pills,
473
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,904
'cause I don't remember
any of that.
474
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:17,775
Any of it?
475
00:17:17,819 --> 00:17:19,560
Like, like, none of it?
476
00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:22,128
I vaguely remember
braiding Brigitte's hair,
477
00:17:22,171 --> 00:17:23,607
but that's it.
478
00:17:23,651 --> 00:17:25,566
Wait,
Max's ex-girlfriend, Brigitte?
479
00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:28,525
Never mind. Hey, Mr. Mousekers,
this is my hand-carved bed.
480
00:17:28,569 --> 00:17:30,005
It's been passed down
for generations.
481
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,572
And you remember Randi.
482
00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:33,661
[yawning]:
From downstairs.
483
00:17:36,098 --> 00:17:39,101
I can't believe we missed her.
484
00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:41,973
I can't believe we urinated
in front of each other.
485
00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:44,063
Twice.
486
00:17:45,673 --> 00:17:48,806
I'm still hungry, Phil.
487
00:17:48,850 --> 00:17:50,634
Me, too. I'm so delirious,
488
00:17:50,678 --> 00:17:53,724
I thought I saw Dolly
in the mirror a minute ago.
489
00:17:53,768 --> 00:17:56,597
Maybe she was sending us a sign.
490
00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,252
She'd want us to eat her.
491
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,176
-Mmm.
-Mmm.
492
00:18:10,219 --> 00:18:12,656
-She's inside of us now.
-Mm-hmm.
493
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:14,528
She's nourishing us
494
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:18,140
like she nourished us
our entire lives.
495
00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:20,490
It'll remind us
to be more like Dolly.
496
00:18:20,534 --> 00:18:21,970
To be kinder.
497
00:18:22,013 --> 00:18:23,406
To be more generous.
498
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:24,625
[phone chimes]
499
00:18:24,668 --> 00:18:26,888
Oh. It's Jeannie.
500
00:18:26,931 --> 00:18:29,151
Mm. Oh, she says
Dolly's decided to do
501
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:30,935
a second night at the Opry.
502
00:18:30,979 --> 00:18:33,634
Mm, so we can take our time
getting there.
503
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:35,679
Spit it out.
504
00:18:35,723 --> 00:18:37,855
-Hmm?
-Spit it out right now,
505
00:18:37,899 --> 00:18:39,814
or I'll reach in there
and I'll pull it out.
506
00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:40,945
[squeals]:
What?
507
00:18:40,989 --> 00:18:42,643
I'm gonna put her back together.
508
00:18:42,686 --> 00:18:45,733
-Mm.
-I will use your saliva as the glue.
509
00:18:45,776 --> 00:18:49,606
-Mm-mm. [mutters]
-Spit it out, Sheila.
510
00:18:52,174 --> 00:18:55,221
-So, you going
for a run tonight? -I haven't decided.
511
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,831
So, I shouldn't read too much
into the fact
512
00:18:56,874 --> 00:18:58,746
that you drew a heart
in my foam?
513
00:18:58,789 --> 00:19:01,096
[chuckles] It just does that
when you pull the milk away.
514
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,054
-Mm-hmm.
-[chuckles]
515
00:19:03,098 --> 00:19:04,665
KAT:
Hey.
516
00:19:04,708 --> 00:19:06,232
-Hey. You look good.
-Thanks.
517
00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:07,711
-Yeah.
-RANDI: Ooh!
518
00:19:07,755 --> 00:19:09,452
Kat, you look incredible,
519
00:19:09,496 --> 00:19:12,194
-whether you can salsa or not.
-KAT [chuckles]: Thanks.
520
00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:13,935
I'm actually feeling
really positive
521
00:19:13,978 --> 00:19:15,415
about my salsa dancing
abilities.
522
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:17,025
The lesson with Max,
523
00:19:17,068 --> 00:19:18,331
all those videos that I watched,
524
00:19:18,374 --> 00:19:19,897
it really sunk into my brain.
525
00:19:19,941 --> 00:19:21,421
Like, I woke up this morning
able to do moves
526
00:19:21,464 --> 00:19:23,162
I couldn't even do yesterday.
Like this.
527
00:19:23,205 --> 00:19:24,859
-RANDI: Ooh.
-[chuckles]
528
00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:26,600
Ooh, and, uh, and this.
529
00:19:26,643 --> 00:19:28,689
Whoo!
[chuckles]
530
00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:31,170
-Oh, hey, Max.
-What the hell did you do?
531
00:19:31,213 --> 00:19:32,954
Oh, I just dipped a cat.
[chuckles]
532
00:19:32,997 --> 00:19:34,782
Brigitte called me
and said some American woman
533
00:19:34,825 --> 00:19:37,393
wrote her a long e-mail
about how I'm a mess without her
534
00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:39,700
and I'm gonna go declare my love
for her on the Eiffel Tower,
535
00:19:39,743 --> 00:19:42,398
and if she rejects me,
I'm gonna push her off.
536
00:19:42,442 --> 00:19:45,445
A-And you think I did that?
I didn't do that.
537
00:19:45,488 --> 00:19:46,837
Really?
Because the letter was signed,
538
00:19:46,881 --> 00:19:49,449
"Have a meow-tastic day,
Kat Silver."
539
00:19:50,624 --> 00:19:53,235
Well, that does
very specifically narrow down
540
00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:55,890
the suspects, but how would I...
541
00:19:55,933 --> 00:19:57,283
Oh.
542
00:19:57,326 --> 00:19:58,806
I took sleeping pills
last night.
543
00:19:58,849 --> 00:20:00,982
Girl, check your e-mail
sent folder.
544
00:20:01,025 --> 00:20:02,462
-Oh.
-[sighs]
545
00:20:03,419 --> 00:20:06,814
Oh, my gosh. Max, I am so sorry.
546
00:20:06,857 --> 00:20:09,120
Just tell her I was on drugs.
It didn't mean anything.
547
00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:10,992
Well, I-I would,
except she told me
548
00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:12,472
never to contact her again.
549
00:20:12,515 --> 00:20:14,082
Well, do you want me
to e-mail her?
550
00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:15,562
Are you out of your mind?
551
00:20:15,605 --> 00:20:18,695
I want you to stay
out of my business, Kat.
552
00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:21,655
And you know
what really pisses me off?
553
00:20:21,698 --> 00:20:24,266
I tried to help you
with your relationship,
554
00:20:24,310 --> 00:20:26,137
and you blew mine up.
555
00:20:31,317 --> 00:20:33,014
-I'm so sorry, Kat.
-[door closes]
556
00:20:33,057 --> 00:20:34,711
I can't believe I did that.
557
00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:36,974
Well, it's not your fault.
Honestly, it's Phil's.
558
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:38,759
He's the one that gave us
those damn pills
559
00:20:38,802 --> 00:20:40,282
that made him
whip his wiener out on a plane
560
00:20:40,326 --> 00:20:41,544
and pee in the aisle.
561
00:20:41,588 --> 00:20:43,067
What?
562
00:20:43,111 --> 00:20:44,982
You didn't tell me
that happened.
563
00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:46,506
Well, I just thought
he had an overreaction
564
00:20:46,549 --> 00:20:48,247
because he's itty-bitty.
565
00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:50,814
I feel horrible.
566
00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:53,469
I've never seen Max that upset.
567
00:20:53,513 --> 00:20:55,515
What am I supposed to do?
568
00:20:55,558 --> 00:20:57,473
Hey, hey.
569
00:20:57,517 --> 00:21:00,781
Are you ready
to get our salsa on?
570
00:21:01,825 --> 00:21:04,611
I just need un momento.
571
00:21:04,654 --> 00:21:07,614
["Chipa y Fuego [salsa]" by El
Swing de Nicky Catarey playing]
572
00:21:07,657 --> 00:21:09,703
♪
573
00:21:17,841 --> 00:21:21,323
♪
574
00:21:21,373 --> 00:21:25,923
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