Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,159
What's going on
with y'all this weekend?
2
00:00:05,311 --> 00:00:07,068
I heard Brenda on the phone,
3
00:00:07,171 --> 00:00:10,664
ordering a party bus and
a dirty cantaloupe centerpiece
4
00:00:10,800 --> 00:00:12,591
from Edible Arrangements.
5
00:00:12,784 --> 00:00:14,652
Edible Derangements.
6
00:00:14,712 --> 00:00:16,523
It's like an erotic knockoff?
Probably not gonna
7
00:00:16,547 --> 00:00:17,930
stand up in court. Anyway,
8
00:00:18,081 --> 00:00:19,576
Brenda is throwing
a bachelorette party
9
00:00:19,600 --> 00:00:20,824
for her cousin Brenda.
10
00:00:20,885 --> 00:00:22,250
Not just a bachelorette party.
11
00:00:22,311 --> 00:00:24,753
The throwdown to end
all throwdowns,
12
00:00:24,814 --> 00:00:26,330
starring the whole Brenda clan.
13
00:00:26,390 --> 00:00:28,127
We got a party bus,
drunk tubing,
14
00:00:28,151 --> 00:00:30,236
and as many male strippers
as you can legally have
15
00:00:30,260 --> 00:00:32,594
before you got to call it
a "nudist colony."
16
00:00:32,655 --> 00:00:35,856
Ooh, now, Jenny,
just be careful.
17
00:00:36,008 --> 00:00:37,616
Last time one of the Brendas had
18
00:00:37,768 --> 00:00:42,362
a bachelorette party, this one
went missing for five days,
19
00:00:42,498 --> 00:00:44,439
and this one...
20
00:00:44,500 --> 00:00:47,776
Meaning you, Jenny...
Got bit by a police horse.
21
00:00:47,837 --> 00:00:49,520
Yeah, it was awful.
22
00:00:49,622 --> 00:00:50,963
You know what, Brenda?
23
00:00:51,132 --> 00:00:53,299
I-I think I got
to sit this one out.
24
00:00:53,468 --> 00:00:54,950
Good for you, Jenny.
25
00:00:55,011 --> 00:00:56,989
You keep this up,
soon you'll be having
26
00:00:57,013 --> 00:00:59,120
just as much fun as me.
27
00:00:59,182 --> 00:01:02,382
Okay, off to my dead
husband's grave.
28
00:01:02,477 --> 00:01:04,051
Doo-doo-doo-doo!
29
00:01:04,145 --> 00:01:05,627
What the hell are you going?
30
00:01:05,688 --> 00:01:07,295
I'm pouring out some weak sauce
31
00:01:07,356 --> 00:01:08,647
to honor my best friend,
32
00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,536
who died of Can't Hang Disease.
33
00:01:11,560 --> 00:01:13,802
Oh, come on, Brenda.
I-I can't party like I used to.
34
00:01:13,905 --> 00:01:16,230
- I'm a mom now.
- (man shouts)
35
00:01:16,365 --> 00:01:19,566
- (Jenny laughs)
- There's my little hellraiser.
36
00:01:19,660 --> 00:01:21,869
? ?
37
00:01:23,414 --> 00:01:29,488
Check out more than 100 online Thai lessons
on BananaThai, osdb.link/bananathai
38
00:01:51,767 --> 00:01:53,100
Jenny, shouldn't you be packing?
39
00:01:53,194 --> 00:01:55,361
Oh, for the Brenda Bachelorette?
40
00:01:55,512 --> 00:01:57,007
Yeah, I don't know.
41
00:01:57,031 --> 00:01:58,825
I don't know if I want to go
to an all-weekend party.
42
00:01:58,849 --> 00:02:01,011
I mean, it's not that I can't
hang. I was just planning
43
00:02:01,035 --> 00:02:02,870
on organizing
my closet this weekend.
44
00:02:02,894 --> 00:02:04,444
Jenny, just go.
45
00:02:04,597 --> 00:02:05,924
You can be a responsible adult
46
00:02:05,948 --> 00:02:07,392
and still have fun
every once in a while.
47
00:02:07,416 --> 00:02:09,600
When's the last time
you really blew it out?
48
00:02:09,702 --> 00:02:12,211
Yeah, go party, Miss Martyr.
I can watch Violet.
49
00:02:12,362 --> 00:02:13,857
There's a covered dish
tonight at church.
50
00:02:13,881 --> 00:02:15,714
Violet can be my arm candy.
51
00:02:15,866 --> 00:02:17,194
Sorry, but there's no way
52
00:02:17,218 --> 00:02:18,886
that I'm going
to another church potluck.
53
00:02:18,910 --> 00:02:20,888
If I see green Jell-O
with marshmallows in it,
54
00:02:20,912 --> 00:02:22,613
I will never stop screaming.
55
00:02:22,673 --> 00:02:25,057
Violet, you don't have to
get within six feet of Jell-O.
56
00:02:25,208 --> 00:02:26,870
We can hang out this weekend,
you and me.
57
00:02:26,894 --> 00:02:29,895
- Wait, really?
- Yep, a father-daughter weekend.
58
00:02:30,088 --> 00:02:32,639
Sorry, common-law stepfather.
59
00:02:32,792 --> 00:02:34,545
Ah, nope. Wayne-Violet weekend.
60
00:02:34,569 --> 00:02:36,310
No father anywhere near that.
61
00:02:36,404 --> 00:02:38,962
Wayne, you're gonna have to be
more like a father than a buddy.
62
00:02:39,064 --> 00:02:41,148
- (horn honking)
- (women whooping)
63
00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:44,629
Come on, Jenny! Jump through
the ring of fire, girl!
64
00:02:44,653 --> 00:02:47,805
- Go! I got this.
- Mom, just go.
65
00:02:47,865 --> 00:02:51,475
- (women whooping, cheering)
- You're sure?
66
00:02:51,535 --> 00:02:54,144
- Oh, my Lord, just go!
- Okay, you talked me into it.
67
00:02:54,204 --> 00:02:55,849
Don't eat a bunch of trash
and stay up too late.
68
00:02:55,873 --> 00:02:57,442
And lock all the doors.
And drink all the milk
69
00:02:57,466 --> 00:02:58,591
before it expires!
70
00:02:58,784 --> 00:03:01,479
(women whooping, clamoring)
71
00:03:01,503 --> 00:03:03,262
? Oh, yeah ?
72
00:03:03,455 --> 00:03:05,989
? Oh, yeah,one, two, three, four... ?
73
00:03:06,050 --> 00:03:09,143
(cheering and whooping)
74
00:03:14,817 --> 00:03:17,059
I cannot for the life of me
understand
75
00:03:17,153 --> 00:03:20,003
why my potato salad is
still untouched.
76
00:03:20,064 --> 00:03:22,856
People are passing it up
just to spite me.
77
00:03:22,950 --> 00:03:25,100
Bobbie Nell,
your potato salad is always
78
00:03:25,244 --> 00:03:26,768
covered in cigarette ashes.
79
00:03:26,871 --> 00:03:30,530
Uh-oh! Looks like we got
a Bud situation.
80
00:03:30,666 --> 00:03:32,144
BETTY: Never comes to service.
81
00:03:32,168 --> 00:03:34,438
He only worships
at the altar of free food.
82
00:03:34,462 --> 00:03:36,945
BOBBIE NELL:
He pounded all the ham biscuits
83
00:03:37,006 --> 00:03:38,872
and laid waste to the ambrosia.
84
00:03:38,966 --> 00:03:41,541
Oh, and now he's
moved on to my chicken?
85
00:03:41,636 --> 00:03:45,379
Eating it up before any actual
children of God can get a taste?
86
00:03:45,473 --> 00:03:47,139
This stops now.
87
00:03:47,332 --> 00:03:49,290
Well, well, well,
88
00:03:49,352 --> 00:03:51,310
if it isn't Bud Bullard.
89
00:03:51,503 --> 00:03:53,784
All right now, Betty.
If it wasn't for my strip club,
90
00:03:53,839 --> 00:03:56,798
no one would even feel guilty
enough to come here on Sunday.
91
00:03:56,901 --> 00:03:59,652
(inhales deeply)
92
00:03:59,845 --> 00:04:01,820
Plus, your thighs
are my favorite.
93
00:04:02,013 --> 00:04:04,973
You are gross.
Manhandling my breasts, as well.
94
00:04:05,034 --> 00:04:08,402
Welp, back to reveling
in the Lord's bounty.
95
00:04:08,554 --> 00:04:10,237
This stops now.
96
00:04:10,373 --> 00:04:14,166
I got to get this blasphemous
pig out of the Lord's trough.
97
00:04:14,359 --> 00:04:16,647
- (phone rings, vibrates)
- Go for Bud.
98
00:04:16,671 --> 00:04:18,315
(deep voice): Bud, where you at?
99
00:04:18,339 --> 00:04:20,898
I just pulled into your club,
and it's on fire!
100
00:04:20,999 --> 00:04:22,657
- What?!
- I said
101
00:04:22,718 --> 00:04:24,677
your filthy strip club
is on fire.
102
00:04:24,870 --> 00:04:26,786
Oh, no! My club! My girls!
103
00:04:26,847 --> 00:04:28,755
Hup... oh, gaw! Oh, my heart!
104
00:04:28,849 --> 00:04:30,809
Here it comes.
Oh, this ain't good.
105
00:04:30,843 --> 00:04:32,000
Uh-oh.
106
00:04:32,061 --> 00:04:35,095
Don't you quit on me, heart! Oh!
107
00:04:35,247 --> 00:04:38,265
I'm gonna take one more bite
of this... nope, bad idea.
108
00:04:38,359 --> 00:04:40,943
Ooh. Overshot it.
109
00:04:42,738 --> 00:04:44,863
Okay, we've got
French bread, pizzas,
110
00:04:45,032 --> 00:04:47,032
popcorn and fixings for s'mores.
111
00:04:47,201 --> 00:04:49,321
I was thinking we could have
a movie night,
112
00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:51,787
- then an indoor campout.
- (girls laughing)
113
00:04:53,198 --> 00:04:54,932
Um, sure.
114
00:04:54,992 --> 00:04:56,912
I think people are really
loving our shirts.
115
00:04:56,936 --> 00:04:58,268
They're so jealous.
116
00:04:58,328 --> 00:05:00,265
Okay, so since I put
on your fun T-shirt,
117
00:05:00,289 --> 00:05:02,192
can we do something
I want to do now?
118
00:05:02,216 --> 00:05:03,860
Like, can we buy these fedoras
119
00:05:03,884 --> 00:05:05,553
and go over
to the Mega Joe Mart Caf�
120
00:05:05,577 --> 00:05:07,555
and take our pictures
as we sip espressos
121
00:05:07,579 --> 00:05:08,870
and pretend we're in Paris?
122
00:05:08,973 --> 00:05:11,223
One million percent yes
on the fedoras,
123
00:05:11,416 --> 00:05:13,227
but I'm pretty sure
your mom doesn't like you
124
00:05:13,251 --> 00:05:14,893
to have caffeine... let me check.
125
00:05:15,086 --> 00:05:17,615
No, Wayne. You don't need
to call Mom! (groans)
126
00:05:17,639 --> 00:05:19,047
(women whooping, clamoring)
127
00:05:19,108 --> 00:05:21,400
- BRENDA: Hey, don't splash me!
- (phone ringing)
128
00:05:21,569 --> 00:05:23,902
Jenny Hart speaking here.
129
00:05:24,071 --> 00:05:25,738
Hey, Jenny. Violet's fine.
130
00:05:25,931 --> 00:05:28,626
- Uh, I just wanted to ask...
- Catch!
131
00:05:28,650 --> 00:05:30,242
(whooping)
132
00:05:30,435 --> 00:05:32,302
- ALL: Oh!
- My cooter bone!
133
00:05:32,404 --> 00:05:34,766
(slurring):
Wait, sorry, Wayne. Say that again?
134
00:05:34,790 --> 00:05:37,916
I just wanted to check, is
Violet allowed to have espresso?
135
00:05:38,109 --> 00:05:41,086
Oh, right. Okay, here are
the caffeine rules...
136
00:05:41,279 --> 00:05:43,480
Jenny, come on!
137
00:05:43,540 --> 00:05:44,998
You're talking about rules?
138
00:05:45,150 --> 00:05:48,146
Like some Jenny
narc-ass lifeguard?
139
00:05:48,170 --> 00:05:49,669
Lame.
140
00:05:49,764 --> 00:05:52,765
Wayne, there are no rules
this weekend! (chuckles)
141
00:05:52,958 --> 00:05:54,469
(quietly):
Except for the important ones.
142
00:05:54,493 --> 00:05:55,934
Which you know which is which.
143
00:05:56,127 --> 00:05:59,830
The only rules this weekend
are people that rule!
144
00:05:59,890 --> 00:06:01,400
(quietly):
Use your best judgment.
145
00:06:01,424 --> 00:06:04,001
We're both using
our best judgment this weekend.
146
00:06:04,061 --> 00:06:05,611
(shouts)
147
00:06:05,762 --> 00:06:07,424
- I'm covered in snakes!
- (beeps)
148
00:06:07,448 --> 00:06:09,189
So, what did she say?
149
00:06:09,283 --> 00:06:12,267
Um, she said
I should decide for myself.
150
00:06:12,369 --> 00:06:14,769
Okay, well, what do you say?
151
00:06:14,872 --> 00:06:17,030
All right,
let me think it through.
152
00:06:17,124 --> 00:06:18,124
Huh?
153
00:06:18,909 --> 00:06:20,979
Sorry, Vi, you can't have
that coffee drink.
154
00:06:21,003 --> 00:06:23,148
"Okay, Wayne, I'll look
for a different kind of high.
155
00:06:23,172 --> 00:06:25,188
Drugs. Alcohol.
Whipped cream cans."
156
00:06:25,249 --> 00:06:27,466
Vi, you're drunk.
You got to get clean.
157
00:06:27,659 --> 00:06:28,449
"Then I'm running away."
158
00:06:28,511 --> 00:06:29,968
Berlin. Discotheques.
159
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:31,397
(German accent):
"Yeah, Fraulein,
160
00:06:31,421 --> 00:06:32,620
you really want to party?"
161
00:06:32,681 --> 00:06:34,475
Wake up. Bathtub full of ice.
162
00:06:34,499 --> 00:06:35,307
Kidneys gone.
163
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:36,500
Nein!
164
00:06:36,668 --> 00:06:38,626
Jenny, I'm sorry!
165
00:06:38,687 --> 00:06:40,628
Okay. Two espressos.
166
00:06:40,689 --> 00:06:42,929
I wrote a screenplay, Wayne.
I wrote a screenplay.
167
00:06:42,966 --> 00:06:44,632
It's 230 pages, Wayne.
168
00:06:44,693 --> 00:06:47,986
It all takes place in the basket
of a hot-air balloon, Wayne.
169
00:06:48,179 --> 00:06:50,157
-What are you waiting for?
Take my picture. Take it! -(gasps)
170
00:06:50,181 --> 00:06:51,659
Take it, take it, take it!
Take it now.
171
00:06:51,683 --> 00:06:53,325
(sips, chuckles)
172
00:06:54,570 --> 00:06:55,680
WAYNE: Holy!
173
00:06:55,704 --> 00:06:57,312
Okay, giving you the credit card
174
00:06:57,373 --> 00:06:58,453
was probably a mistake.
175
00:06:58,499 --> 00:07:00,648
Was it? (laughs)
176
00:07:00,709 --> 00:07:02,668
Yeah! Look at this.
177
00:07:05,030 --> 00:07:07,005
(door creaking)
178
00:07:07,157 --> 00:07:08,393
(monitor beeping steadily)
179
00:07:08,417 --> 00:07:11,751
Poor dumb baby.
What did I do to you?
180
00:07:11,904 --> 00:07:14,991
Just came to check on you,
'cause-'cause I feel guil...
181
00:07:15,015 --> 00:07:17,432
guil... guilty.
182
00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:19,926
?
183
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:22,262
Oh, look at you,
laying there so vulnerable
184
00:07:22,356 --> 00:07:24,242
in the moonlight glow.
185
00:07:24,266 --> 00:07:27,008
Layin' down, your stomach
flattens out a little bit.
186
00:07:27,069 --> 00:07:31,583
I get a glimpse of the potent,
virile man you once were.
187
00:07:31,607 --> 00:07:32,698
Betty, stop it.
188
00:07:32,849 --> 00:07:34,344
What are these thoughts
you're having?
189
00:07:34,368 --> 00:07:36,869
Do not let your guilt
get you all horned-up.
190
00:07:37,037 --> 00:07:38,871
Betty? Is that Betty Hart?
191
00:07:39,064 --> 00:07:41,540
(shushing) Save your strength.
192
00:07:41,733 --> 00:07:42,933
I'll be honest, I didn't know
193
00:07:42,993 --> 00:07:44,993
if anyone would turn out
to visit me.
194
00:07:45,028 --> 00:07:48,213
I'm used to people crossing the
street to avoid this old perv.
195
00:07:48,406 --> 00:07:49,864
Bud, you know what,
196
00:07:49,967 --> 00:07:52,442
when you aren't slobbering
all over young boobies,
197
00:07:52,502 --> 00:07:53,886
you're actually kind of sweet.
198
00:07:54,079 --> 00:07:56,555
Betty, what time is it?
199
00:07:56,748 --> 00:07:58,891
- 6:30.
- Mm.
200
00:07:59,952 --> 00:08:01,538
What was that for?
201
00:08:01,562 --> 00:08:04,207
I promised myself if you
ever gave me the time of day,
202
00:08:04,231 --> 00:08:06,899
I'd kiss you
like there's no tomorrow.
203
00:08:08,460 --> 00:08:09,309
Oh, lookee there.
204
00:08:09,461 --> 00:08:13,296
The clock just struck 6:31.
205
00:08:13,398 --> 00:08:14,798
(kissing)
206
00:08:14,900 --> 00:08:17,117
(Bud and Betty laugh)
207
00:08:18,904 --> 00:08:20,782
Did you know that all matter
is merely energy
208
00:08:20,806 --> 00:08:22,133
condensed to a slow vibration
209
00:08:22,157 --> 00:08:23,918
and we are all one consciousness
210
00:08:23,942 --> 00:08:25,822
experiencing itself
subjectively?
211
00:08:25,869 --> 00:08:27,755
(gasps) Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Let's go see a movie.
212
00:08:27,779 --> 00:08:29,922
Oh, Vi, I-I don't know.
It's so late.
213
00:08:30,115 --> 00:08:31,776
Let's maybe let your mom
weigh in on this.
214
00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:32,832
Wayne, no...
215
00:08:32,985 --> 00:08:34,742
(ringing, vibrating)
216
00:08:34,803 --> 00:08:37,262
(laughing)
217
00:08:37,414 --> 00:08:38,408
You sure that's the horse
218
00:08:38,432 --> 00:08:40,112
- that bit ya?
- (snorts)
219
00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:42,492
Brenda, you don't forget
the sumbitch police horse
220
00:08:42,552 --> 00:08:45,415
who bit you
at a bachelorette party in 2012!
221
00:08:45,439 --> 00:08:47,922
Well, what are you gonna do
about it,
222
00:08:47,983 --> 00:08:50,258
write your congressman?
223
00:08:50,319 --> 00:08:51,835
(gulping)
224
00:08:51,937 --> 00:08:54,429
- (bottle shatters)
- Taste teeth, pig horse!
225
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:56,130
- Attagirl.
- (whooping)
226
00:08:56,700 --> 00:08:58,153
- COP: Hey!
- (horse neighs)
227
00:08:58,177 --> 00:08:59,578
(groans) She's not picking up.
228
00:08:59,602 --> 00:09:01,414
Because she
so completely trusts you
229
00:09:01,438 --> 00:09:02,824
to do the right thing, Wayne.
Didn't you hear her say that?
230
00:09:02,848 --> 00:09:03,622
I heard her say that.
231
00:09:03,773 --> 00:09:05,182
Yeah, but I don't know...
232
00:09:05,242 --> 00:09:07,437
Okay. Bye-bye
to the best weekend of my life.
233
00:09:07,461 --> 00:09:09,019
Guess this Hang Zone shirt
234
00:09:09,079 --> 00:09:11,713
isn't worth the poly-cotton
blend it's printed on.
235
00:09:12,749 --> 00:09:14,040
No, you're right.
236
00:09:14,193 --> 00:09:15,801
This is the Hang Zone!
237
00:09:15,970 --> 00:09:17,930
Grab those
melted-into-a-blob Twizzlers out
238
00:09:17,954 --> 00:09:18,990
of the glove compartment.
239
00:09:19,014 --> 00:09:20,455
We're going to the dang movies!
240
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:21,609
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
241
00:09:21,633 --> 00:09:23,809
? ?
242
00:09:31,986 --> 00:09:35,404
- (cheering)
- (pulsing dance music playing)
243
00:09:44,999 --> 00:09:47,073
Wayne, I want a nose ring!
244
00:09:47,167 --> 00:09:49,668
Violet, no. Absolutely n...
245
00:09:49,837 --> 00:09:51,055
? ?
246
00:09:51,079 --> 00:09:52,746
- (clicks)
- Hang Zone!
247
00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,381
Hang Zone.
248
00:09:58,512 --> 00:10:01,680
Hello? Could you shine
that spotlight down a hair?
249
00:10:01,831 --> 00:10:03,682
- (gasps)
- (jangling)
250
00:10:03,875 --> 00:10:07,761
- What the?
- All jump for the Honorable Judge David Lee Roth.
251
00:10:07,855 --> 00:10:10,689
As the bailiff,
I will be translating,
252
00:10:10,882 --> 00:10:13,859
as Judge DLR
only speaks in "whoas"
253
00:10:14,052 --> 00:10:16,419
and "bozy-bozy-bob-ditty-bops."
254
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:17,604
Wow!
255
00:10:17,698 --> 00:10:18,698
Oh, man.
256
00:10:18,890 --> 00:10:20,343
DLR's a judge?
257
00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:22,534
(scatting)
258
00:10:22,703 --> 00:10:24,369
Ow!
259
00:10:24,521 --> 00:10:25,537
Yes.
260
00:10:25,706 --> 00:10:27,372
(scatting) Bad dad!
261
00:10:27,565 --> 00:10:29,374
(scatting) Negligence!
262
00:10:29,567 --> 00:10:31,209
Ditty-bop! Whoa!
263
00:10:31,402 --> 00:10:33,545
Witness. Ow!
264
00:10:33,738 --> 00:10:35,939
You're on trial
for gross negligence
265
00:10:35,999 --> 00:10:38,291
and for being
a piss-poor father.
266
00:10:38,385 --> 00:10:40,844
Who's our first witness?
267
00:10:41,838 --> 00:10:43,280
Violet!
268
00:10:43,340 --> 00:10:44,447
State your name.
269
00:10:44,508 --> 00:10:46,558
Whoa! Aah!
270
00:10:46,751 --> 00:10:48,376
I was once known as Violet Hart.
271
00:10:48,437 --> 00:10:50,896
But now I'm Violence Hate.
272
00:10:51,089 --> 00:10:53,209
I live on the fringe
between the cracks,
273
00:10:53,233 --> 00:10:55,400
in the seedy underbelly of...
274
00:10:55,569 --> 00:10:58,461
(scatting): What made you
this way, little ditty-bop?
275
00:10:58,522 --> 00:11:01,384
He did. I used to think
some things were sacred:
276
00:11:01,408 --> 00:11:04,301
laws, family,
Bea Arthur's musical number
277
00:11:04,402 --> 00:11:06,319
in The Star WarsHoliday Special.
278
00:11:06,471 --> 00:11:09,893
Then Wayne taught me
anything can be defiled,
279
00:11:09,917 --> 00:11:11,308
even the nose on your face.
280
00:11:11,368 --> 00:11:13,248
Thank you, Wayne,
for teaching me
281
00:11:13,295 --> 00:11:16,646
the real unsightly hole...
is society!
282
00:11:16,706 --> 00:11:17,975
Violet, no!
283
00:11:17,999 --> 00:11:20,008
Hi, guys. I'm home.
284
00:11:20,710 --> 00:11:22,647
My baby!
285
00:11:22,671 --> 00:11:26,840
Wayne, how could you
let... this... happen?
286
00:11:26,934 --> 00:11:28,992
- (gavel bangs)
- ? I-I-I-I-I-I ?
287
00:11:29,052 --> 00:11:33,921
? I declare you guilty ?
288
00:11:33,982 --> 00:11:36,182
? So guilty, so guilty! ?
289
00:11:36,276 --> 00:11:39,169
- Wayne Edwards, you're guilty.
- (gasps)
290
00:11:39,229 --> 00:11:42,592
(scatting)
291
00:11:42,616 --> 00:11:45,508
Judge DLR wants
to know what you are doing
292
00:11:45,569 --> 00:11:46,934
after the trial, honey.
293
00:11:46,995 --> 00:11:49,846
Visiting your chambers.
294
00:11:49,906 --> 00:11:51,197
(scatting)
295
00:11:51,291 --> 00:11:54,459
Wow! (speaking gibberish)
296
00:11:54,611 --> 00:11:56,870
I deserve this!
297
00:11:56,964 --> 00:11:58,338
Aah! Violet.
298
00:11:59,967 --> 00:12:01,277
Violet, you got
to take that thing out.
299
00:12:01,301 --> 00:12:03,635
Your mom's gonna kill us both,
and then
300
00:12:03,786 --> 00:12:05,782
she's gonna dig me up
and kill me again.
301
00:12:05,806 --> 00:12:07,675
It's fine, it's fun.
She's gonna love it.
302
00:12:07,699 --> 00:12:09,476
- How do you work this thing?
- There's a switch on the back.
303
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:11,121
Nah. No! What am I doing?
304
00:12:11,145 --> 00:12:14,204
? Let's give 'em somethingto talk about ?
305
00:12:14,264 --> 00:12:16,797
Just hide that thing
until we figure out what to do.
306
00:12:16,900 --> 00:12:21,302
? How about love, love, love? ?
307
00:12:22,197 --> 00:12:24,564
You got a piercing, didn't you?
308
00:12:24,658 --> 00:12:27,679
-How did you know?
-Y'all were giving off panic pheromones
309
00:12:27,703 --> 00:12:28,972
from a mile away.
310
00:12:28,996 --> 00:12:30,849
Now Vi's got her head
in the fridge?
311
00:12:30,873 --> 00:12:33,740
Either you're trying to get
to Narnia via the Frigidaire,
312
00:12:33,834 --> 00:12:35,754
or you got something
on your face.
313
00:12:35,894 --> 00:12:38,745
And by the timb-ray of your
voice, I'm guessing nose ring.
314
00:12:38,839 --> 00:12:40,474
- (can hissing)
- Nope, you're wrong about that,
315
00:12:40,498 --> 00:12:42,674
'cause I'm just huffing
whipped cream.
316
00:12:42,867 --> 00:12:44,992
Don't you try
to Miss Doubtfire me.
317
00:12:45,053 --> 00:12:47,237
I invented that move.
318
00:12:47,339 --> 00:12:49,088
- Ugh.
- Betty, real quick.
319
00:12:49,183 --> 00:12:51,543
Can you get Jenny to get Violet
to take out her nose ring
320
00:12:51,602 --> 00:12:53,872
without realizing that
Violet even has a nose ring,
321
00:12:53,896 --> 00:12:55,870
or that I let her get it?
Please?
322
00:12:55,898 --> 00:12:58,248
I can't right now!
I'm freakin' out in love!
323
00:12:58,308 --> 00:13:00,692
- So? What's new?
- It's all new.
324
00:13:00,885 --> 00:13:02,769
He's completely wrong for me.
325
00:13:02,863 --> 00:13:04,582
Wrong time, wrong man.
326
00:13:04,606 --> 00:13:06,865
But apparently,
all these wrongs are adding up
327
00:13:07,034 --> 00:13:09,442
to something
that is oh, so right.
328
00:13:09,594 --> 00:13:12,037
Now I got to go splash
some Jean Nat� on my fun zones
329
00:13:12,230 --> 00:13:15,332
-'cause everything's moving
at lightning speed. - Oh!
330
00:13:16,868 --> 00:13:18,435
Ding-dong.
331
00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:22,196
Nurse Betty's here
to give you your tongue bath.
332
00:13:22,299 --> 00:13:24,694
There she is,
the original hottie.
333
00:13:24,718 --> 00:13:26,292
Betty, meet Tampa and Emoji.
334
00:13:26,445 --> 00:13:28,522
They're gonna take me home.
I'm getting released.
335
00:13:28,546 --> 00:13:30,055
- Hey!
- Hey!
336
00:13:30,248 --> 00:13:33,369
Okay, ring, ring. It's recess.
337
00:13:33,393 --> 00:13:34,871
All you school kids
get on out of here.
338
00:13:34,895 --> 00:13:37,395
Nurse Betty will take it
from here.
339
00:13:37,588 --> 00:13:38,879
Okay, feel better, Bud!
340
00:13:38,941 --> 00:13:40,398
You two have fun.
341
00:13:40,591 --> 00:13:42,400
(women giggle)
342
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:44,933
How you doing, Bud?
343
00:13:45,102 --> 00:13:46,788
Ah, they got me eating
egg whites
344
00:13:46,812 --> 00:13:48,495
and salt-free chicken soup.
345
00:13:48,596 --> 00:13:51,106
It's all the worst foods
without their best part.
346
00:13:51,257 --> 00:13:53,217
Sure makes me miss
your fried chicken.
347
00:13:53,268 --> 00:13:55,335
And I missed
your Polish sausage.
348
00:13:55,437 --> 00:13:58,521
(laughing):
Oh, Betty, you are so gross.
349
00:13:58,673 --> 00:14:00,115
So are you, Bud.
350
00:14:00,308 --> 00:14:04,010
But together,
we make something beautiful.
351
00:14:04,070 --> 00:14:05,789
You know,
it's the craziest thing.
352
00:14:05,813 --> 00:14:07,325
I still can't remember
what happened
353
00:14:07,349 --> 00:14:08,848
right before my heart attacked.
354
00:14:08,908 --> 00:14:10,428
I was making a plate,
and then...
355
00:14:10,452 --> 00:14:13,110
Wait a minute.
Did I get a phone call?
356
00:14:13,171 --> 00:14:17,206
I don't know, but you're about
to get a bone call.
357
00:14:17,301 --> 00:14:19,968
Looks like I finally got
the medicine I needed.
358
00:14:20,161 --> 00:14:24,264
Ten cc's of Smoochacil
coming right up.
359
00:14:26,593 --> 00:14:29,060
Uh-uh.
360
00:14:30,814 --> 00:14:32,296
Hmm?
361
00:14:32,399 --> 00:14:34,733
(grunts)
362
00:14:40,065 --> 00:14:42,585
-(camera clicking)
-You saw how fast Betty Hart figured out what we did.
363
00:14:42,609 --> 00:14:44,826
I guarantee you
Jenny Hart is not far behind.
364
00:14:44,977 --> 00:14:48,145
She's probably having a phantom
pain in her nostril as we speak.
365
00:14:48,206 --> 00:14:50,573
Wayne, you made a decision.
366
00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:52,948
And it was the right decision
because now I love you.
367
00:14:53,003 --> 00:14:54,814
Oh, my God,
I hate being in charge. (sighs)
368
00:14:54,838 --> 00:14:57,025
I'll text Jenny and tell her
how great everything's going
369
00:14:57,049 --> 00:14:58,340
to buy us some time.
370
00:14:58,491 --> 00:14:59,749
"Dear Jenny..."
371
00:14:59,901 --> 00:15:01,178
- (ringing)
- Ah, shoot! I hit FaceTime!
372
00:15:01,202 --> 00:15:03,160
- Just hang up.
- Oh, I can't.
373
00:15:03,221 --> 00:15:04,866
She'll think something's up.
Cover your face!
374
00:15:04,890 --> 00:15:06,681
(all whooping, laughing)
375
00:15:06,874 --> 00:15:08,141
(snoring)
376
00:15:09,770 --> 00:15:12,111
Crap! Wayne wants to FaceTime.
377
00:15:13,190 --> 00:15:15,431
I'm on my way home.
We're getting the check.
378
00:15:15,525 --> 00:15:17,170
Everything's fine
on our end, too.
379
00:15:17,194 --> 00:15:19,194
Don't you worry.
Just stay and have fun.
380
00:15:19,237 --> 00:15:23,347
Violet's just drinking coffee,
or... juice out of a mug.
381
00:15:23,408 --> 00:15:25,775
Which is how she likes it.
Isn't that right?
382
00:15:25,869 --> 00:15:27,351
Yeah. Orange juice-y.
383
00:15:27,412 --> 00:15:29,515
Great. I'm sober
and my eyes are open.
384
00:15:29,539 --> 00:15:30,855
(imitates static)
385
00:15:30,916 --> 00:15:34,876
Whoa! Bad connection,
I guess. Bye.
386
00:15:39,740 --> 00:15:41,194
I'm proud of you, Bud.
387
00:15:41,218 --> 00:15:44,052
Following doctor's orders,
eating all healthy.
388
00:15:44,245 --> 00:15:46,148
I'll tell you,
it is weird to be attracted
389
00:15:46,172 --> 00:15:47,722
to someone I do not employ.
390
00:15:47,915 --> 00:15:51,968
Oh, look who got that wrap dress
I wanted.
391
00:15:52,104 --> 00:15:55,063
I would have purchased it,
but someone called me
392
00:15:55,256 --> 00:15:58,233
when I was at checkout
and said my house was on fire.
393
00:15:58,402 --> 00:16:00,282
Ha. Well,
it was nice seeing you.
394
00:16:00,404 --> 00:16:03,630
It's Betty's
go-to move, you know.
395
00:16:03,690 --> 00:16:05,073
What?!
396
00:16:05,266 --> 00:16:07,283
Your filthy strip club
is on fire!
397
00:16:08,570 --> 00:16:11,079
Oh, no, no, no.
I-I remember it now.
398
00:16:11,272 --> 00:16:13,893
That call I got right before
my heart attacked...
399
00:16:13,917 --> 00:16:16,418
- That was you!
- (gasps) I can explain.
400
00:16:16,611 --> 00:16:18,139
That's why
you're-you're here with me?
401
00:16:18,163 --> 00:16:19,495
'Cause you feel guilty?
402
00:16:19,648 --> 00:16:22,740
No! I-I... I mean,
at first, maybe I did.
403
00:16:22,801 --> 00:16:25,318
But then I fell for you,
Bud, for real.
404
00:16:25,378 --> 00:16:28,078
Oh, I don't care
about stuff like this.
405
00:16:28,140 --> 00:16:30,723
I'm a pervert
and that's all I am.
406
00:16:32,051 --> 00:16:33,935
- (door closes)
- Oops.
407
00:16:34,128 --> 00:16:36,587
- Bud, wait!
- Wait! You haven't paid!
408
00:16:36,648 --> 00:16:39,332
Your manager just told me
that your house is on fire.
409
00:16:39,434 --> 00:16:41,359
Oh, no!
410
00:16:46,432 --> 00:16:48,619
I'm home! Hope you guys
didn't get into any trouble,
411
00:16:48,643 --> 00:16:50,176
'cause I sure didn't. Ha.
412
00:16:50,236 --> 00:16:52,787
(hiccups)
That wasn't... anything.
413
00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:55,531
Well, our weekend
was great, too.
414
00:16:55,684 --> 00:16:58,367
So fun and just good clean,
responsible fun.
415
00:16:58,503 --> 00:16:59,847
Oh, I did go kind of crazy
416
00:16:59,871 --> 00:17:01,607
and get all these piercings.
(laughs)
417
00:17:01,631 --> 00:17:04,299
Is that the craziest thing
you've ever seen in your life?
418
00:17:04,492 --> 00:17:06,968
Ha-ha, yup!
There's no topping this one.
419
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:08,452
Oh, and Violet pierced her nose.
420
00:17:08,513 --> 00:17:11,214
Anyway, maybe I'll regret it,
maybe I won't.
421
00:17:11,366 --> 00:17:14,033
Just life. That's all.
Life decisions.
422
00:17:14,093 --> 00:17:16,202
(grunts) Okay. Geez.
423
00:17:16,262 --> 00:17:17,962
Wow. Well,
424
00:17:18,064 --> 00:17:20,190
I'm gonna go lay down
for 8,000 hours.
425
00:17:22,027 --> 00:17:24,894
Oh, my God,
did that actually...?
426
00:17:24,988 --> 00:17:28,375
-Violet, did you pierce your freaking nose?!
-(both gasp)
427
00:17:28,399 --> 00:17:30,178
And, Wayne, did you glue
some fishing tackle
428
00:17:30,202 --> 00:17:32,046
and hairpins on your face
to try and distract me?
429
00:17:32,070 --> 00:17:33,978
Jenny, you don't understand.
430
00:17:34,039 --> 00:17:36,405
We were in the
Hang Zone Extreme Zone.
431
00:17:36,558 --> 00:17:38,186
A nose ring?!
You know what, Wayne?
432
00:17:38,210 --> 00:17:40,243
These aren't your decisions
to make.
433
00:17:40,395 --> 00:17:42,005
Lucky you, you-you get
to swoop in here
434
00:17:42,029 --> 00:17:44,397
and do the fun stuff
'cause you're not her dad.
435
00:17:44,457 --> 00:17:45,726
(groans)
436
00:17:45,750 --> 00:17:47,250
I'll take care of this.
437
00:17:47,344 --> 00:17:49,844
You just go hang out
in the Fun Zone or whatever.
438
00:17:50,037 --> 00:17:52,037
And I'm gonna need
my bob pins back!
439
00:17:52,073 --> 00:17:53,330
(door closes)
440
00:17:53,391 --> 00:17:55,833
JENNY: Here's what's happening.
441
00:17:55,936 --> 00:17:57,371
Violet, you're grounded
till you're 38.
442
00:17:57,395 --> 00:17:59,040
Now get your bedazzled
little honker
443
00:17:59,064 --> 00:18:02,357
in your room until I say
you can come out. Now!
444
00:18:03,568 --> 00:18:05,175
All right, give it to me, too.
445
00:18:05,237 --> 00:18:07,195
I deserve it.
Read me the riot act.
446
00:18:07,364 --> 00:18:09,416
No, you are not gonna get me
to not lay into you
447
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:11,177
by playing like you want me
to lay into you.
448
00:18:11,201 --> 00:18:12,828
- What?
- I don't know.
449
00:18:12,852 --> 00:18:14,180
I can't even look at you
right now.
450
00:18:14,204 --> 00:18:15,928
I'm so frustrated and hungover.
451
00:18:16,030 --> 00:18:19,541
Just never make a decision
about Violet ever again.
452
00:18:19,734 --> 00:18:21,876
(sighs)
453
00:18:22,996 --> 00:18:25,454
(pulsing dance music playing)
454
00:18:25,549 --> 00:18:27,924
? ?
455
00:18:28,718 --> 00:18:30,293
Stop the music!
456
00:18:30,387 --> 00:18:32,467
- (music stops)
- Shame on you, Betty Hart.
457
00:18:32,538 --> 00:18:34,367
Playing with a man's emotions
like that.
458
00:18:34,391 --> 00:18:37,725
And not even for money.
You're disgusting!
459
00:18:37,918 --> 00:18:39,727
He's a mess, thanks to you.
460
00:18:39,896 --> 00:18:41,541
Girls, what happened
to the music?
461
00:18:41,565 --> 00:18:43,565
Oh. Hello, Betty.
462
00:18:43,733 --> 00:18:46,901
- Can we talk?
- Hmm. Hmm.
463
00:18:49,722 --> 00:18:51,297
Bud, it's true.
464
00:18:51,399 --> 00:18:54,387
I did make that call saying
your club was ablaze.
465
00:18:54,411 --> 00:18:56,889
- But I'm not gonna say
I'm sorry. - Uh, what?
466
00:18:56,913 --> 00:18:58,955
'Cause it brought me
into your life.
467
00:19:00,834 --> 00:19:04,310
Aw, Betty, you broke my heart,
and that's how I know it's real.
468
00:19:04,370 --> 00:19:07,755
I promise
to never break your heart again.
469
00:19:07,948 --> 00:19:09,215
Get in here.
470
00:19:11,469 --> 00:19:13,428
Mmm. Oh, Betty, yeah.
471
00:19:13,621 --> 00:19:14,929
Mmm, mmm. Oh, Bet...
472
00:19:15,098 --> 00:19:16,764
Oh. Oh, God! My heart!
473
00:19:16,957 --> 00:19:19,583
Emoji, call 911!
474
00:19:19,644 --> 00:19:21,585
(dog barking)
475
00:19:21,646 --> 00:19:22,937
Oh, I thought you left.
476
00:19:23,130 --> 00:19:24,922
I'm not leaving you here alone.
477
00:19:24,983 --> 00:19:28,000
You're grounded.
Now, get back in your room.
478
00:19:28,061 --> 00:19:29,444
Can I just get a snack?
479
00:19:29,637 --> 00:19:30,778
I guess.
480
00:19:30,971 --> 00:19:33,281
- Whoa!
- What?
481
00:19:33,474 --> 00:19:35,428
You look like
a punk-rock Rudolph.
482
00:19:35,452 --> 00:19:37,935
Which I know sounds awesome,
but trust me, it's not.
483
00:19:37,996 --> 00:19:39,695
Ow! No, don't touch it.
484
00:19:39,831 --> 00:19:41,122
It's how it's supposed to look.
485
00:19:41,315 --> 00:19:43,683
No. It's definitely infected.
486
00:19:43,743 --> 00:19:45,518
We're going to the doctor.
487
00:19:45,578 --> 00:19:47,036
If you take me to the doctor,
488
00:19:47,188 --> 00:19:49,428
I am never stepping foot
in the Hang Zone again.
489
00:19:49,490 --> 00:19:51,040
Welp, nice knowing you.
490
00:19:51,192 --> 00:19:52,467
(distant siren wailing)
491
00:19:52,618 --> 00:19:54,043
(chime over P.A.)
492
00:19:54,137 --> 00:19:56,954
Can you help us?
I think her nose is infected.
493
00:19:57,015 --> 00:19:59,015
Oh, yeah, we need
to get on that quick.
494
00:19:59,125 --> 00:20:00,620
Okay, Dad, we just need you
to fill out these forms,
495
00:20:00,644 --> 00:20:02,071
- and we'll get her on back.
- (Violet yells)
496
00:20:02,095 --> 00:20:03,552
Well, I'm... (sighs)
497
00:20:03,705 --> 00:20:05,366
I'm not exactly her father.
498
00:20:05,390 --> 00:20:08,391
Oh. Well, we're gonna need
to speak to a legal guardian.
499
00:20:08,485 --> 00:20:10,634
(sighs)
500
00:20:10,695 --> 00:20:13,212
(phone rings, vibrates)
501
00:20:13,272 --> 00:20:16,377
Jenny, I'm at the hospital
with Violet. She's fine.
502
00:20:16,401 --> 00:20:17,975
But her nose is infected.
503
00:20:18,036 --> 00:20:19,788
They're gonna patch her up,
but they want
504
00:20:19,812 --> 00:20:21,070
to talk to a legal guardian.
505
00:20:21,164 --> 00:20:24,143
- Mom, my nose is fine!
- Your nose is not fine!
506
00:20:24,167 --> 00:20:26,150
Jenny, I know
I'm not her bio dad,
507
00:20:26,211 --> 00:20:28,722
but I love her like a dad,
and I want to take care of her
508
00:20:28,746 --> 00:20:31,651
like a dad, and this nose ring
is coming out now!
509
00:20:31,675 --> 00:20:34,324
Wayne, you're the suckiest
person in the world.
510
00:20:34,386 --> 00:20:36,493
Wait, Violet.
What did you just call him?
511
00:20:36,604 --> 00:20:38,574
The suckiest person
in the whole world.
512
00:20:38,598 --> 00:20:40,551
Okay, well,
if you're saying Wayne sucks,
513
00:20:40,575 --> 00:20:42,703
then I know he's doing
something right parent-wise.
514
00:20:42,727 --> 00:20:44,501
Point the phone at the nurse.
515
00:20:44,562 --> 00:20:46,095
I'm listening.
516
00:20:46,189 --> 00:20:50,340
I can confirm
Wayne is officially a dad now.
517
00:20:50,402 --> 00:20:51,767
(rapid beeping)
518
00:20:51,903 --> 00:20:54,821
Lord, forgive me.
I did it again, y'all.
519
00:21:00,203 --> 00:21:03,687
I'd like to propose a toast:
to healing, both relationships
520
00:21:03,748 --> 00:21:05,614
- and noses.
- Violet,
521
00:21:05,709 --> 00:21:07,878
I still can't believe you would
defile your body like that.
522
00:21:07,902 --> 00:21:12,046
You can't just go crazy and go
wherever your impulses take you.
523
00:21:12,239 --> 00:21:14,959
- Whoops!
- Here, let me help you with those.
524
00:21:15,001 --> 00:21:16,959
Mom! Did you...?
525
00:21:17,053 --> 00:21:19,462
Okay, I can explain.
526
00:21:19,614 --> 00:21:22,443
Jenny Hart, what the hell
have you done to your body?
527
00:21:22,467 --> 00:21:25,226
Okay, this is totally different.
I am an adult,
528
00:21:25,419 --> 00:21:28,971
and this is a very classy and
understated artistic expression
529
00:21:29,065 --> 00:21:31,065
that the Brendas
dared me to get.
530
00:21:31,217 --> 00:21:33,045
- (meows)
- (horn honks musically)39140
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
