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1
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:15,074
- What can you tell us?
- No comment.
2
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:18,953
- Was it the Great Train Robbery gang?
- That's confidential.
3
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:22,127
What came of your meeting at number 10?
4
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:26,791
We are bringing in someone
to take command of the investigation.
5
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:30,093
- An outsider?
- Well, yes.
6
00:03:30,127 --> 00:03:33,301
Isn't that a slap on the face
for Scotland Yard?
7
00:03:33,422 --> 00:03:38,553
One must overlook such considerations
as to whose nose is out of joint.
8
00:03:38,635 --> 00:03:42,765
- Even if it is one's own nose'?
- No comment.
9
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,521
When do you expect this man to arrive?
10
00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,645
Inspector Clouseau?
11
00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,143
Weaver, your opposite number.
12
00:05:48,223 --> 00:05:50,817
- Shockley, Special Branch.
- Hello sir!
13
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:54,021
Keep your voice down.
I'm on a secret mission.
14
00:05:54,104 --> 00:05:56,198
We have a car waiting.
15
00:05:56,648 --> 00:06:00,824
- I have not yet cleared Customs.
- Standard VIP treatment.
16
00:06:00,986 --> 00:06:05,662
I'm no "VIP" and must go through
Customs like any French tourist.
17
00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:08,745
- Sir, I assure...
- That is my cover, you fool.
18
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:15,258
- Anything to declare?
- No, I'm just a typical French tourist
19
00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:20,264
- on a humble English vacation.
- Passport and debarking ticket, please.
20
00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:22,432
Yes, of course.
21
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:28,897
It's right here. I never travel without...
22
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:35,146
- Come along, sir.
- You have not yet seen my passport!
23
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:39,324
I have this! Hey, look at this!
Don't grab me...
24
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:48,663
I think it only fair to say...
25
00:06:49,951 --> 00:06:54,548
That your being brought in on this case
was not my idea.
26
00:06:54,623 --> 00:06:58,469
- You are too modest.
- The Prime Minister insisted.
27
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:02,302
As head of the
law-enforcing establishment,
28
00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:05,513
I regard your presence
as a vote of no confidence.
29
00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:08,596
I, though, am extremely confident.
30
00:07:08,678 --> 00:07:13,525
- Not over-confident, I trust.
- No. Not over confident.
31
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:19,740
Good. I'm glad to hear that.
The 2.5 million pounds stolen...
32
00:07:21,608 --> 00:07:27,706
Stolen in our Great Train Robbery
are being used as operation capital.
33
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:31,706
We are dealing with very greedy people.
34
00:07:31,743 --> 00:07:37,045
Greedy and ruthless. You are the fourth
to be placed in charge in six months.
35
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:41,637
It seems that Scotland Yard
has had a run of unfortunate luck.
36
00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:44,673
Despite our unfortunate luck...
37
00:07:47,133 --> 00:07:52,890
We have apprehended a dozen of
the gang, including three of their top men.
38
00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:54,558
I'll show you.
39
00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:01,072
You may well be acquainted
with some of them.
40
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:10,123
Yesterday, two of them escaped from
prison. One of them was Frenchie LeBec.
41
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,916
It's a familiar face.
42
00:08:12,784 --> 00:08:15,412
The other was Steve Frey.
43
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:18,465
The one remaining in custody
is Addison Steele.
44
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,964
I'll question the pleasant
looking Mr Steele.
45
00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:27,136
Don't be fooled by his looks.
He can spot a detective a mile away.
46
00:08:30,677 --> 00:08:33,556
But then you don't look
much like a detective.
47
00:08:34,472 --> 00:08:35,849
I try not to.
48
00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:40,354
Good.
49
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:46,030
I don't have to tell you
that in our line of work...
50
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:52,454
- Anonymity is a virtue.
- Any fool knows that.
51
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,465
Anonymity is next to cleanliness
52
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:57,524
and I don't have to tell
you what that's next to.
53
00:08:58,580 --> 00:09:03,256
I have to tell you that we have discovered
a security leak in this department.
54
00:09:03,501 --> 00:09:07,506
- In this department?
- That is why you are here.
55
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:09,428
The thought was...
56
00:09:13,261 --> 00:09:17,266
Since you couldn't be the traitor,
we can trust you. But you...
57
00:09:20,268 --> 00:09:22,316
But you must trust no one.
58
00:09:22,353 --> 00:09:27,905
- The viper in our bosom could be anyone.
- Anyone? I suspect everyone.
59
00:09:28,777 --> 00:09:30,654
You will report only to me.
60
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,831
And what makes you think I trust you?
61
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:23,082
- Be right with you.
- Don't rush.
62
00:10:25,542 --> 00:10:28,295
Don't worry. I never do.
63
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,146
There.
64
00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:44,691
Now, like I said,
if you just comb it out every morning,
65
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:48,361
you'll still have movement round the face.
You see that?
66
00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,986
I said I'd be right with you.
67
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:55,913
And I said, "Don't rush."
68
00:10:55,947 --> 00:10:59,872
And I said, "Don't worry. I never do."
69
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:15,350
That's excellent, Steele.
Excellent. I like that very much.
70
00:11:19,470 --> 00:11:22,940
- You missed your vocation.
- Glad you like it.
71
00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:24,730
You do a marvelous job.
72
00:11:25,768 --> 00:11:29,272
- You call that a prison haircut?
- Special privileges.
73
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:33,151
The warden and I are as thick as thieves.
74
00:11:33,818 --> 00:11:36,788
This favouritism,
how long has it been going on?
75
00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:40,121
- 23 years.
- So you murdered your paediatrician.
76
00:11:40,325 --> 00:11:44,296
They would never have caught me but for
my fingerprints on the water pistol.
77
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:51,337
I shall let that pass since you do not know
whose leg it is that you are pushing.
78
00:11:57,258 --> 00:12:01,479
Do look after him.
I doubt if your razor's sharp enough
79
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,228
for the famous Inspector Clouseau.
80
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:11,448
- Smart young criminal.
- He's the warden's son.
81
00:12:12,398 --> 00:12:13,775
Quite a joker.
82
00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:33,087
The warden's son should have known
not to reveal my identity to you.
83
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:36,223
We hardened criminals
follow your career with great interest.
84
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,556
- As I yours.
- Sit down. I'll give you a shave.
85
00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:47,310
Since we are becoming so chummy, you
can tell me about the Great Train Robbery.
86
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:48,852
I don't know nothing.
87
00:12:50,103 --> 00:12:54,153
He who don't know nothing
knows something, hey?
88
00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:57,160
Perhaps how to mastermind a robbery?
89
00:12:57,193 --> 00:13:02,324
If you wanna know about the mastermind,
don't talk to me. Talk to Johnny Rainbow.
90
00:13:03,741 --> 00:13:06,460
And who is this Johnny Rainbow?
91
00:13:10,832 --> 00:13:13,551
Well, it's just a code name, really.
92
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:18,716
None of us ever met him face to face.
93
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:24,897
Now, this is gonna be a little bit hot.
94
00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:27,853
I don't mind. In the
words of Robespierre...
95
00:13:30,935 --> 00:13:35,566
Just take a few deep breaths.
Breathe in very deeply.
96
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:39,448
Bit more. That's right.
97
00:13:39,819 --> 00:13:41,696
There you go.
98
00:14:04,427 --> 00:14:07,601
I think you'll be pleased with these items.
99
00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:11,609
Our chaps took some liberties with
your specifications that will delight you.
100
00:14:12,643 --> 00:14:15,897
The smoke-signal matches
that you asked for.
101
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:19,283
Oh, yes. A wonderful thing, to have them.
102
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,945
This you must watch carefully.
103
00:14:22,028 --> 00:14:27,034
Looks like a cigarette lighter but it is
a high intensity, laser beam transmitter.
104
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:33,123
Oh, yes, just what the doctor ordered.
105
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,134
My, my. And what kind of a thing is this?
106
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,306
That's my razor.
107
00:14:53,851 --> 00:14:55,649
Normal cigarette case.
108
00:14:56,312 --> 00:14:59,987
A high-frequency transmitter
with built in ADC.
109
00:15:00,858 --> 00:15:04,488
- Enclosed microphone and speaker...
- Wonderful thing.
110
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:07,574
With a tape recorder. Say something.
111
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:10,789
Say something. Anything you like.
112
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:14,582
- I have a phobia from recording devices.
- Please, I just wanna test...
113
00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:18,840
- I don't like to use them.
- I'm only trying to show you.
114
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:22,506
- I get embarrassed.
- Don't be. Say anything.
115
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:26,176
Paris in the spring's a wonder to behold
116
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:29,980
The streets are lined with gold in Paris
117
00:15:30,054 --> 00:15:32,227
My love jump in the Seine
118
00:15:32,306 --> 00:15:34,775
and it drove me insane
119
00:15:34,851 --> 00:15:37,946
If I may be so bold
120
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:44,195
- A song.
- Yes. Thank you. Very good.
121
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:46,867
Now, just wind it back.
122
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:55,046
Paris in the spring's a wonder to behold
123
00:15:57,748 --> 00:15:59,591
Gold in Paris
124
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:07,975
Yes, not too much bass at all.
125
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:11,304
It's just some little technical fault.
I'm sure you'll sort it out.
126
00:16:13,222 --> 00:16:14,849
Oh, yes, there was something.
127
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:21,903
Take a good look at me. Have you noticed
anything peculiar about me?
128
00:16:22,899 --> 00:16:25,448
No, but you can't always tell by looking.
129
00:16:26,444 --> 00:16:27,821
I was referring to my dress.
130
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:29,993
Your dress?
131
00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,583
Now, look. Here, catch.
132
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,161
- You are armed. Correct?
- Correct.
133
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:38,235
Let us assume that
you want to arrest me.
134
00:16:38,260 --> 00:16:39,903
You are under arrest.
135
00:16:40,416 --> 00:16:45,513
Oh, no, no. See, play the...
Let us assume that I resist.
136
00:16:45,755 --> 00:16:49,476
You'd be a very foolish fellow
because I'm a deadly shot.
137
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:53,601
Yes, but how long would it take you
to reach your pistol?
138
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:59,482
- You'd be a dead man.
- Remarkable!
139
00:17:00,061 --> 00:17:01,608
No hands. But...
140
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:07,445
Observe my belt. 322s, miniature missiles.
141
00:17:07,485 --> 00:17:10,955
Fires with deadly accuracy
up to a distance of 500 yards.
142
00:17:10,988 --> 00:17:14,208
What a wonderful, wonderful thing.
143
00:17:14,283 --> 00:17:17,537
Yes. Not bad, is it?
144
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:23,422
Quite ingenious.
It's all done with the stomach muscles.
145
00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:28,094
- Will you get the hang of it?
- Yes. I have a photographic memory.
146
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,812
Hey! Look out for your pipe!
147
00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:52,826
Oh. That's some wonderful,
wonderful underwear.
148
00:17:54,782 --> 00:17:57,535
In case anyone throws you into the sea.
149
00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:01,248
Yes, but how do you have it laundered?
150
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:05,172
I should recommend dry-cleaning,
you stupid...
151
00:18:07,003 --> 00:18:11,304
With your equipment and my finesse,
we'll give them a run for their money.
152
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:14,389
- Our money. Our money.
- You're right.
153
00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:18,189
- I'm always right. It's a problem with me.
- Yes.
154
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:22,606
- Strange. I, too, have that problem.
- Yes.
155
00:18:22,685 --> 00:18:25,529
- We have a lot in common.
- Oh, yes.
156
00:18:25,563 --> 00:18:30,034
Our lives in the game of crime
and punishment are bound like lovers
157
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,702
inextricably together.
158
00:18:34,488 --> 00:18:35,580
Like sperm.
159
00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:40,207
You ought to meet my wife.
160
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:43,381
Your queen did not
bring me here to socialize.
161
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:45,712
Not my queen, my wife.
162
00:18:45,750 --> 00:18:50,631
- I meant your wife.
- You don't know my wife.
163
00:18:50,713 --> 00:18:53,262
But I'd be delighted.
Shall we say eight o'clock?
164
00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:57,599
- Dinner?
- Charmed, I'm sure.
165
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:10,533
There he is. Let us run him down now.
166
00:19:10,858 --> 00:19:14,704
Don't be stupid, Frenchy.
In front of Weaver's house?
167
00:19:34,715 --> 00:19:38,561
Good evening. You must be the inspector.
I am Lisa.
168
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:43,521
Call me Jacques. I hope
you don't mind your husband inviting me...
169
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:46,940
I'm not Mrs Weaver. I am Lisa Morell.
170
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:48,880
Haven't you been told?
171
00:19:48,905 --> 00:19:53,050
No, but then I like
to find out for myself.
172
00:19:53,776 --> 00:19:58,122
- I must see you alone.
- That's the only way.
173
00:19:58,155 --> 00:20:00,328
But this isn't the proper place.
174
00:20:00,866 --> 00:20:03,619
Then let's run away before they
know that I'm here.
175
00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:09,210
- No, I can't leave now. Trust me.
- I trust you to the ends of the earth.
176
00:20:20,594 --> 00:20:22,096
- Come on.
- Thank you.
177
00:20:23,556 --> 00:20:27,561
- I see you've met Lisa.
- Yes, I have. You sly dog, you.
178
00:20:28,394 --> 00:20:31,489
- She's our Au pair. Can I have your coat?
- Yes, of course.
179
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:34,446
- Drink?
- Small sherry, perhaps.
180
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:37,153
Lisa, would you get
the inspector a small sherry?
181
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:42,496
If that's your maid then
your wife must really be something.
182
00:20:43,284 --> 00:20:48,165
Oh! Could this lovely creature
be your famous French friend?
183
00:20:48,664 --> 00:20:52,009
- How could you?
- I haven't. Not in years.
184
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:55,505
- What are you muttering about?
- Just shop talk.
185
00:20:55,588 --> 00:20:58,967
- May I present my wife?
- What a delightful surprise.
186
00:20:59,508 --> 00:21:02,637
- My wife's a mite Scottish.
- Lovely people.
187
00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:06,144
Robert Burns, cashmere,
the Loch Ness monster.
188
00:21:06,182 --> 00:21:08,981
- What's for dinner, dearie?
- Nothing.
189
00:21:09,018 --> 00:21:11,112
Are you out of your tiny mind?
190
00:21:11,187 --> 00:21:16,034
It's the Highland Fair. I am the president
of the Daughters of the Heath and Heather.
191
00:21:16,066 --> 00:21:19,240
- I promised him dinner.
- Don't trouble yourself.
192
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,369
- I'm sure Miss Lisa...
- I do a good omelette.
193
00:21:22,448 --> 00:21:26,169
Oh, no! They have gorgeous goodies
at the fair. Come along now.
194
00:21:26,410 --> 00:21:28,629
I will not hear another word about it.
195
00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:30,126
Come along!
196
00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:36,614
No, no. No, don't!
Put me down on the ground.
197
00:22:38,357 --> 00:22:41,156
Look... Look, I...
198
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:49,707
Attention, please. It's time
to announce the Grand Door prize.
199
00:22:49,785 --> 00:22:53,961
- The door prize?
- The winning ticket is number 175.
200
00:22:54,248 --> 00:22:58,719
I repeat, 175. Who's the lucky winner?
201
00:22:58,794 --> 00:23:03,140
My ticket... I have it! 175, I have it!
202
00:23:03,674 --> 00:23:05,301
I won the prize!
203
00:23:13,142 --> 00:23:17,522
Oh, come on in! Oh, good gracious me!
204
00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:22,739
Shooting may be an everyday occurrence
to you, but it's left me quite unstrung.
205
00:23:23,736 --> 00:23:27,661
Don't touch my pudding!
I suggest you go to bed.
206
00:23:27,740 --> 00:23:29,663
No, I've got a better idea.
207
00:23:29,742 --> 00:23:35,340
I'll get out of my tweeds, put on something
loose, and you pour me a wee whisky.
208
00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:38,321
But that girl is going
to tell your husband.
209
00:23:38,346 --> 00:23:40,865
She'll be sound
asleep in her bed.
210
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:45,266
And Weaver will be hours at the morgue,
filling forms et cetera.
211
00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:51,180
I'll be down in two shakes
of a donkey's tail.
212
00:23:51,263 --> 00:23:52,890
Don't rush.
213
00:23:54,475 --> 00:23:58,571
- Lisa? Lisa?
- Here I am.
214
00:23:59,188 --> 00:24:02,192
Look what I won. A plum pudding.
215
00:24:02,274 --> 00:24:05,619
You and I could run away and share it.
216
00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:09,870
- Something important has come up.
- I'm coming with you.
217
00:24:09,949 --> 00:24:12,873
No, you must stay here
and distract Mrs Weaver.
218
00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:17,791
I can't stand Mrs Weaver!
I've been waiting to be with you.
219
00:24:17,873 --> 00:24:21,548
- So have I.
- Be patient, dear, not long now.
220
00:24:23,796 --> 00:24:25,890
That's her. I really must go.
221
00:24:25,923 --> 00:24:27,220
Yes.
222
00:25:05,462 --> 00:25:08,932
You bad, wee boy. Where's that drink?
223
00:25:08,966 --> 00:25:12,095
I looked all over for it.
I can't find any whisky anywhere.
224
00:25:15,389 --> 00:25:17,767
What an ingenious place to keep liquor.
225
00:25:20,769 --> 00:25:23,943
Oh, dear. Here we are.
226
00:25:28,110 --> 00:25:29,737
There we are.
227
00:25:30,571 --> 00:25:31,914
That's it.
228
00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:36,042
To us.
229
00:25:41,623 --> 00:25:46,129
Well, time for me
to take my leave, dear lady. I...
230
00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:49,966
I must get my beauty rest.
231
00:25:52,634 --> 00:25:53,977
Oh, the excitement!
232
00:25:54,053 --> 00:25:56,226
The time has come for...
233
00:25:57,389 --> 00:26:01,485
Your husband! You fool!
You crazy idiot! Get away!
234
00:26:04,188 --> 00:26:05,781
- Are you Inspector Clouseau?
- Yes!
235
00:26:05,814 --> 00:26:07,487
Commissioner Braithwaite
sent me to fetch you.
236
00:26:07,649 --> 00:26:11,244
What took you so long?
It's been a wonderful evening.
237
00:26:11,320 --> 00:26:12,188
Don't rush.
238
00:26:12,213 --> 00:26:14,814
My one regret is that
I can't stay longer.
239
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,162
There's a sick lady in there.
240
00:26:21,371 --> 00:26:22,873
He's coming.
241
00:26:37,513 --> 00:26:39,481
Inspector Clouseau, isn't it?
242
00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:42,227
Leave it. Let's get out.
243
00:26:43,185 --> 00:26:47,861
- Clyde Hargreaves. Blackpool prison.
- Yes, the son of the warden.
244
00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:51,444
With the warped sense of humour.
You still need a haircut.
245
00:26:52,236 --> 00:26:55,035
I don't think you'll find
many laughs in there.
246
00:26:55,823 --> 00:27:01,125
There is a time for laughing and a time
for not laughing. This is not one of them.
247
00:27:02,037 --> 00:27:03,380
Yes.
248
00:27:05,541 --> 00:27:06,633
Yes.
249
00:27:31,275 --> 00:27:32,131
What's that?
250
00:27:32,156 --> 00:27:34,724
It's my plum pudding.
I won it at a picnic.
251
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,574
Yes, I heard about your successful evening.
252
00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:41,751
Weaver telephoned me from the mortuary
and told me all about it.
253
00:27:43,287 --> 00:27:45,506
I had the winning ticket, that's all.
254
00:27:46,248 --> 00:27:48,546
I can't wait to take a
bite from this thing.
255
00:27:48,584 --> 00:27:51,383
- Never mind...
- How do they make it so round?
256
00:27:51,420 --> 00:27:54,264
Don't worry about that now.
257
00:27:54,298 --> 00:27:56,926
I gather you behaved disgracefully.
258
00:27:57,009 --> 00:28:00,604
Drinking on duty,
flirting with woman after woman.
259
00:28:00,679 --> 00:28:03,273
Even reciting vulgar limericks.
260
00:28:04,224 --> 00:28:07,728
Well, life is not all
shoot shoot bang bang.
261
00:28:07,769 --> 00:28:11,490
- But you elected to shoot a man tonight.
- Yes.
262
00:28:11,565 --> 00:28:15,035
- Thereby revealing your identity.
- You are correct.
263
00:28:16,111 --> 00:28:19,615
The way you work
are not our ways at Scotland Yard.
264
00:28:19,656 --> 00:28:22,455
That's why you brought me here.
265
00:28:22,576 --> 00:28:27,423
If you could solve your own mess,
you wouldn't need me. Allow me.
266
00:28:28,123 --> 00:28:31,047
What the devil do you think you're doing?
Put it down!
267
00:28:33,587 --> 00:28:35,635
Gather yourself together!
268
00:28:37,674 --> 00:28:40,018
Where there's a will, there's a way.
269
00:28:43,972 --> 00:28:46,395
I've nursed this bottle since Dunkirk.
270
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:53,157
Listen, Clouseau, you should
never have shot Frenchie LeBec.
271
00:28:54,942 --> 00:28:59,243
If you'd brought him in, we might
have gained some valuable information.
272
00:29:00,239 --> 00:29:01,786
But oh, no, not you.
273
00:29:02,658 --> 00:29:08,131
You have to get involved in some idiotic
Highland shenanigan. It's disgusting!
274
00:29:09,414 --> 00:29:11,382
I don't talk to you when you're like this.
275
00:29:12,167 --> 00:29:16,343
I'll come back and we can discuss this
in an atmosphere of mutual respect.
276
00:29:18,507 --> 00:29:19,724
Good evening.
277
00:29:31,061 --> 00:29:33,314
- Will you take some notes, please?
- Certainly.
278
00:29:34,773 --> 00:29:38,698
A, what are the facts at our disposal?
279
00:29:38,777 --> 00:29:41,451
B, let's get down to those facts.
280
00:29:42,155 --> 00:29:44,999
C, we know that there has been a robbery.
281
00:29:45,575 --> 00:29:49,546
D, we know that certain people
are going to commit this robbery.
282
00:29:50,122 --> 00:29:52,124
I think we can safely assume that.
283
00:29:52,541 --> 00:29:55,465
People are going to commit this robbery.
284
00:29:55,544 --> 00:30:02,177
And they must get out of the way
the people who are trying to prevent them.
285
00:30:02,551 --> 00:30:06,306
- That would be you.
- Me? What do they want to get me for?
286
00:30:06,388 --> 00:30:09,858
- They've made one attempt on your life.
- So they have.
287
00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:17,362
Well, you see how much
we have learned already.
288
00:30:17,399 --> 00:30:21,905
- Gosh, that's marvelous. Let's press on.
- Yes.
289
00:30:22,446 --> 00:30:27,247
Since they've already made an attempt
at my life, which came to no fruition,
290
00:30:27,284 --> 00:30:31,414
they will try a more parabolic approach
and attack me on the bias.
291
00:30:32,414 --> 00:30:34,508
- On the bias'?
- On the bias.
292
00:30:34,583 --> 00:30:39,555
They will not attack me,
but something I love more than anything.
293
00:30:39,629 --> 00:30:44,260
What do I love more than anything?
What is my...
294
00:30:45,677 --> 00:30:48,851
Food! I love food more than anything.
295
00:30:48,930 --> 00:30:51,604
But they will not attack me.
They will attack...
296
00:30:52,142 --> 00:30:55,066
They are going to get me!
297
00:30:55,103 --> 00:30:58,073
My plum"- My plum pudding!
298
00:31:15,165 --> 00:31:17,714
Wait! Wait for me. Wait.
299
00:31:17,793 --> 00:31:19,295
I have to...
300
00:31:26,635 --> 00:31:29,935
What's the excitement about?
What are you doing?
301
00:31:29,971 --> 00:31:32,144
Saving your lives, you fools!
302
00:31:32,182 --> 00:31:35,982
And you, get with
your loved ones and family.
303
00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:40,240
And the rest of you,
clear out of this neck of the woods.
304
00:31:43,985 --> 00:31:45,487
It may be...
305
00:31:47,239 --> 00:31:51,585
And don't attack anything
unless it's absolutely...
306
00:31:51,993 --> 00:31:55,964
Get back! I told...
I don't know how many times.
307
00:31:56,540 --> 00:32:00,670
And sorry, I say, I don't want you in...
308
00:32:01,002 --> 00:32:04,131
In this vicinity. That's what I'm...
309
00:32:06,341 --> 00:32:08,264
I have found the bomb!
310
00:32:14,683 --> 00:32:16,230
It is still ticking!
311
00:32:23,233 --> 00:32:25,031
I have drowned the bomb.
312
00:32:36,997 --> 00:32:40,376
- It is no longer ticking.
- There's no bomb in there.
313
00:32:40,459 --> 00:32:43,929
There must be. I distinctly heard ticking.
314
00:32:44,004 --> 00:32:46,473
It could have been your wristwatch.
315
00:32:49,718 --> 00:32:53,063
- It must not be waterproof.
- It's not going to work.
316
00:32:53,096 --> 00:32:56,441
No. But I can always buy another watch.
317
00:32:56,516 --> 00:32:59,736
- I wasn't talking about that.
- That is, if we last that long.
318
00:33:16,661 --> 00:33:18,083
Come on, give it up.
319
00:33:27,756 --> 00:33:30,885
A deadly transistorised mini bomb!
320
00:33:30,926 --> 00:33:34,271
- Looks like a cyanide capsule.
- A cyanide capsule!
321
00:33:34,304 --> 00:33:38,434
- Somebody is determined to see you dead.
- Yes. But who?
322
00:33:38,517 --> 00:33:41,942
It could be anyone
at that Scottish hoop-de-doo.
323
00:33:42,020 --> 00:33:45,866
But I didn't let this out of my sight
until I got to your club.
324
00:33:47,526 --> 00:33:50,700
Weren't there any clues on Frenchie LeBec?
325
00:33:50,779 --> 00:33:52,873
These matches were in his coat.
326
00:33:52,948 --> 00:33:56,293
Let me see those.
Bring him in for questioning.
327
00:33:56,368 --> 00:33:58,917
- You shot him last night.
- Oh, yes.
328
00:33:58,954 --> 00:34:02,504
- The Tudor Arms.
- Let's look at this place.
329
00:34:02,582 --> 00:34:04,459
- No sooner said than done.
- Oh.
330
00:34:18,139 --> 00:34:21,814
- Hello. Can I help you?
- Thank you for stopping.
331
00:34:22,310 --> 00:34:24,404
What seems to be the trouble?
332
00:34:24,479 --> 00:34:28,325
It's my new car.
Do you know something about machinery?
333
00:34:28,400 --> 00:34:32,405
I don't know something. I know everything.
334
00:34:32,487 --> 00:34:34,831
What do you suppose this does?
335
00:34:34,864 --> 00:34:40,587
When this is connected in the right place,
it makes your automobile move.
336
00:34:40,662 --> 00:34:45,338
It either goes over here or over here,
or rather here.
337
00:34:45,834 --> 00:34:50,180
- Well, that takes care of that.
- Did you fix it?
338
00:34:50,505 --> 00:34:53,679
No, it's ruined. Can I take you somewhere?
339
00:34:54,259 --> 00:34:58,560
I ought to make a phone call.
The nearest place is the Tudor Arms.
340
00:34:59,639 --> 00:35:02,688
- Kismet. That's exactly where I'm going.
- Good.
341
00:35:06,396 --> 00:35:09,024
What brings my favorite niece out?
342
00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:12,327
Uncle, my new car broke down.
343
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:16,615
- Oh, what a pity.
- Don't just stand there grinning.
344
00:35:16,698 --> 00:35:19,167
- Get us some food.
- What would you like?
345
00:35:19,701 --> 00:35:25,333
Just a light snack. Smoked salmon,
perhaps a little assorted pate.
346
00:35:25,832 --> 00:35:30,508
A little roast beef, I think.
A few vegetables, petite pois, carrots.
347
00:35:31,046 --> 00:35:36,303
Then some "glace", a little chocolate cake,
perhaps. I'll leave it up to you.
348
00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:39,729
- Will you have it here or upstairs?
- Upstairs sounds cozier.
349
00:36:00,784 --> 00:36:05,335
- Charming room.
- You have been here many times before.
350
00:36:05,413 --> 00:36:09,338
- What gives you that idea?
- The innkeeper is "Uncle".
351
00:36:09,751 --> 00:36:11,128
Yes, he's married to my aunt.
352
00:36:15,715 --> 00:36:17,388
It's all very suspicious.
353
00:36:21,096 --> 00:36:24,441
I should go downstairs
and have another look.
354
00:36:24,516 --> 00:36:26,735
Don't let me stop you.
355
00:36:37,445 --> 00:36:39,288
Are you trying to keep
a policeman from his duty?
356
00:36:40,615 --> 00:36:41,787
Don't you want to kiss me?
357
00:36:43,535 --> 00:36:46,379
Whether or not I wish to is not the point.
358
00:36:46,538 --> 00:36:52,466
I'm here on a secret mission and I am not
going to be dissuaded from my duty.
359
00:36:52,544 --> 00:36:55,844
Help. Help. Let me have a breather.
360
00:36:57,006 --> 00:36:58,428
All right.
361
00:37:08,476 --> 00:37:11,821
- What are you doing?
- I never want to forget this.
362
00:37:11,896 --> 00:37:15,491
Put it down.
We'll have none of that, my dear.
363
00:37:16,151 --> 00:37:19,405
Don't take a picture of me
in this dishevelled condition.
364
00:37:19,821 --> 00:37:23,291
Now you can take a picture.
Look at that big beauty.
365
00:37:23,324 --> 00:37:26,123
I love to have my picture taken.
366
00:37:26,161 --> 00:37:27,913
- Hold it.
- Like that?
367
00:37:28,872 --> 00:37:32,172
- Lovely.
- And now a bit serious.
368
00:37:32,709 --> 00:37:36,555
A half smile? And from the other side.
369
00:37:37,672 --> 00:37:40,050
And now all-the-teeth smile.
370
00:37:40,884 --> 00:37:43,137
Now I'll give you an action photograph.
371
00:37:44,763 --> 00:37:47,186
And caught in the act of surprise.
372
00:37:48,016 --> 00:37:50,018
No, you missed that. Take it once more.
373
00:37:52,896 --> 00:37:54,068
Lovely.
374
00:37:58,401 --> 00:38:00,654
- That ought to do it.
- Good.
375
00:38:00,695 --> 00:38:03,790
If you're making those up,
I wouldn't mind a few.
376
00:38:04,783 --> 00:38:07,787
I'd like to see the
proofs, then order some.
377
00:38:08,161 --> 00:38:12,007
I've got an idea.
I've only got face shots of you.
378
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:14,008
- How about full figure?
- Fine.
379
00:38:50,453 --> 00:38:51,579
Hi.
380
00:38:56,417 --> 00:39:00,217
I don't mean to intrude,
but have you seen anything of a girl?
381
00:39:01,297 --> 00:39:06,144
Not, of course, to imply
that that's not what you are.
382
00:39:06,219 --> 00:39:12,773
I didn't mean to imply that.
Indeed, not only are you a girl but...
383
00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:15,946
Yes, indeed,
a very extraordinary one at that.
384
00:39:18,731 --> 00:39:24,613
I don't suppose that you've seen anything
of a tall brunette in a short slip?
385
00:39:25,154 --> 00:39:26,280
No.
386
00:39:34,831 --> 00:39:38,461
Yes, well...
387
00:39:52,932 --> 00:39:55,105
Beautiful. You did a good job.
388
00:39:55,143 --> 00:39:59,523
There. Ooh, I love the way you eat.
389
00:40:00,899 --> 00:40:03,322
Like a jungle animal.
390
00:40:05,194 --> 00:40:08,789
Oyster dressing makes me passionate.
391
00:40:08,823 --> 00:40:13,499
- When I eat it?
- Especially when you eat it.
392
00:40:13,828 --> 00:40:17,878
If I didn't have this heartburn,
would you see something.
393
00:40:17,957 --> 00:40:20,551
- I've got something for your heartburn.
- Yes?
394
00:40:21,502 --> 00:40:26,258
If you just lie there, we will
soon help you. How's that?
395
00:40:26,341 --> 00:40:29,265
- That's nice.
- Is that better?
396
00:40:29,344 --> 00:40:35,192
Very good. Like flying over Ecuador
every day on the back of a giant...
397
00:40:35,308 --> 00:40:38,983
- You're having a good trip?
- Yes, it reminds me of...
398
00:40:39,687 --> 00:40:41,280
In the barber's shop.
399
00:40:41,856 --> 00:40:44,359
- They're doing it again.
- Soon be well.
400
00:40:44,442 --> 00:40:48,197
- How do you feel now?
- Help.
401
00:40:51,366 --> 00:40:52,709
Take that.
402
00:40:58,748 --> 00:41:00,216
Towel.
403
00:41:02,543 --> 00:41:03,920
Right. Okay?
404
00:41:08,007 --> 00:41:10,101
Now, come on. Pat it well into the face.
405
00:41:13,388 --> 00:41:16,358
Don't miss anything.
This stuff hardens very quickly.
406
00:41:25,733 --> 00:41:28,236
That should do it. Now, easy.
407
00:41:31,823 --> 00:41:36,329
- That's it.
- It's loose. It's loose.
408
00:41:36,411 --> 00:41:42,839
The bull is loose. I don't need a picador.
I'll do it by myself.
409
00:41:42,917 --> 00:41:47,013
I'm going to kill the bull one more time.
410
00:41:47,088 --> 00:41:53,266
Give me my sword and I will become
the... Here it comes. It's loose!
411
00:41:54,262 --> 00:41:57,732
- Hooray!
- That's it!
412
00:41:57,765 --> 00:41:59,859
Ole!
413
00:42:12,113 --> 00:42:15,868
- I can't believe it.
- He claims it was part of his master plan.
414
00:42:15,950 --> 00:42:17,793
Well, I'm sick of his master plan.
415
00:42:18,494 --> 00:42:20,997
And I suppose the collapsing bed
was part of our equipment?
416
00:42:21,080 --> 00:42:25,961
- He says he brought that with him.
- I won't hear any more about him.
417
00:42:26,044 --> 00:42:31,221
I don't hold with the man's methods,
but he does get results.
418
00:42:31,299 --> 00:42:34,599
I prefer results that culminate in a trial.
419
00:42:34,635 --> 00:42:39,015
- I may have the answer to your problem.
- Drop him from the case?
420
00:42:39,140 --> 00:42:42,144
- We can't offend the French government.
- I didn't mean that.
421
00:42:43,895 --> 00:42:48,025
We ought to have a man
on the spot, speaking their language.
422
00:42:48,733 --> 00:42:51,452
- What language?
- French, sir.
423
00:42:51,486 --> 00:42:54,114
In France. Clouseau.
424
00:42:54,822 --> 00:42:58,497
The remains of Frenchie LeBec
are being sent back to France.
425
00:42:58,618 --> 00:43:01,417
- Remains of who?
- Frenchie LeBec.
426
00:43:01,662 --> 00:43:04,336
The man Clouseau shot
at the Highland fling.
427
00:43:05,041 --> 00:43:11,014
LeBec's gang's bound to be at the funeral.
If Clouseau were there as well,
428
00:43:11,089 --> 00:43:14,184
there's no knowing what information
he might turn up with.
429
00:43:25,394 --> 00:43:27,988
- Follow that hearse!
- Follow it yourself.
430
00:43:30,858 --> 00:43:32,201
Get out.
431
00:43:38,032 --> 00:43:40,660
- How much for your motorbike?
- What?
432
00:43:40,701 --> 00:43:45,628
- I'll buy the bike.
- Oh, oui! Give it a good kick, huh?
433
00:43:45,706 --> 00:43:49,711
Yes, that's what I'm... The kick.
I'm going to...
434
00:44:06,561 --> 00:44:10,407
Stop, thief! Did you see that?
He stole my motorcycle!
435
00:44:10,481 --> 00:44:14,236
- Nowadays you can't trust anybody.
- Gendarme!
436
00:44:40,094 --> 00:44:43,394
Special report to
Commissioner Braithwaite.
437
00:44:43,431 --> 00:44:46,685
Good morning.
I am sitting in a cart full of fish.
438
00:44:46,809 --> 00:44:49,779
I am going to follow the hearse and...
439
00:44:51,105 --> 00:44:57,704
Wait. And find the body,
its final resting place. I'm going.
440
00:45:22,303 --> 00:45:23,725
I can't think with that noise!
441
00:45:33,022 --> 00:45:34,194
Idiot!
442
00:45:56,504 --> 00:46:00,805
Here I am in the graveyard,
hiding behind a small shrub.
443
00:46:00,841 --> 00:46:05,688
I'm moving into an advanced position
to continue my reconnaissance.
444
00:46:05,721 --> 00:46:08,850
This is Jacques Clouseau signing off.
445
00:47:06,741 --> 00:47:08,584
Get off, get off.
446
00:47:16,667 --> 00:47:18,260
My hat.
447
00:47:18,794 --> 00:47:20,216
Oh, no.
448
00:47:22,256 --> 00:47:25,681
Stand there for a bit.
Put your hands like that.
449
00:48:17,728 --> 00:48:22,234
There he is! The man who stole
my motorbike! Come back here!
450
00:48:22,316 --> 00:48:24,535
Hey, you! Come back!
451
00:48:28,697 --> 00:48:32,042
- Hey!
- Get into the car, Jacques! Quick!
452
00:48:32,118 --> 00:48:34,997
Hold on. Get into the front seat.
453
00:48:35,079 --> 00:48:37,457
- Yes, I'm trying to!
- Good.
454
00:49:00,896 --> 00:49:03,024
Some policewoman!
455
00:49:03,524 --> 00:49:07,028
If you don't believe
I'm a member of Interpol, ask them.
456
00:49:07,069 --> 00:49:09,868
A member of the international police?
457
00:49:09,905 --> 00:49:14,285
Don't make me laugh.
I arrest you in the name of the Queen.
458
00:49:15,494 --> 00:49:20,000
This crook is Lieutenant Morell of
Interpol. Who the devil are you?
459
00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:22,793
I am Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
460
00:49:22,877 --> 00:49:26,552
On detached service to Scotland Yard
from the Paris Surete.
461
00:49:26,589 --> 00:49:31,015
Who are you to tell me
that this crook is no crook?
462
00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:37,192
Don't raise your voice.
I am Prefet of Police and your superior.
463
00:49:42,146 --> 00:49:45,241
It seems that I owe you an apology.
464
00:49:45,316 --> 00:49:48,911
- And you, too, Lieutenant.
- It's quite all right.
465
00:49:48,986 --> 00:49:52,707
Now Scotland Yard and Interpol
have made their peace,
466
00:49:52,740 --> 00:49:54,708
perhaps I can eat my meal in peace.
467
00:50:01,457 --> 00:50:04,757
- Right. You've got everything?
- Yes.
468
00:50:04,835 --> 00:50:09,932
- No, let's go over it again.
- All right. This is the headset.
469
00:50:09,965 --> 00:50:13,435
- Put it on and listen through it.
- Put that on.
470
00:50:13,511 --> 00:50:18,438
This is the bow
with a microphone lead. See? There.
471
00:50:18,516 --> 00:50:21,736
- Oh, yes.
- This is the arrow with a microphone.
472
00:50:21,769 --> 00:50:27,617
You have to plug that in there and
try and get the arrow through that window.
473
00:50:27,775 --> 00:50:30,528
That's where they all are.
474
00:50:56,011 --> 00:50:59,641
- Two of spades. Then a five.
- Go on, then.
475
00:51:14,822 --> 00:51:16,916
With a queen.
476
00:51:18,158 --> 00:51:20,832
Tonight we knock over
the Dodge City bank.
477
00:51:21,453 --> 00:51:26,801
- Dodge City bank? You must be kidding.
- I got a plan.
478
00:51:26,834 --> 00:51:32,591
In 15 minutes, Lefty and Big Red
walk into the hotel and shoot up the place.
479
00:51:33,090 --> 00:51:36,219
- Ten. Pair of tens.
- Give it us.
480
00:51:36,302 --> 00:51:42,230
- I don't trust that Ringo or his partner.
- Don't worry about that now.
481
00:51:43,017 --> 00:51:47,022
Me and One-Eyed Charlie
slip into the back of the bank.
482
00:51:47,062 --> 00:51:52,535
- What about the half-breed?
- Don't worry about the half-breed.
483
00:51:55,613 --> 00:51:57,411
- Who's there?
- Open up, please.
484
00:51:57,531 --> 00:51:59,579
Show me your mother.
485
00:52:01,869 --> 00:52:03,963
Okay.
486
00:52:06,206 --> 00:52:09,710
- Clouseau!
- Have him!
487
00:52:09,752 --> 00:52:12,596
Get off! Give me some air!
488
00:52:12,671 --> 00:52:14,890
Hey!
489
00:52:15,841 --> 00:52:18,060
What's this?
490
00:52:18,093 --> 00:52:21,814
- Hello, Steele.
- It's the warden's son.
491
00:52:21,889 --> 00:52:25,564
Man, you was a dead ringer for Clouseau.
492
00:52:25,601 --> 00:52:29,697
Shows what one can do
with plastic, a few photographs
493
00:52:29,730 --> 00:52:33,234
and the take from the Great Train Robbery.
494
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:37,325
- You're Johnny Rainbow?
- That's it, fellas.
495
00:52:37,821 --> 00:52:41,075
When we blow the vault,
it'll wake the whole town.
496
00:52:41,158 --> 00:52:46,415
We don't blow the vault, stupid.
I bribe the bank president.
497
00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:50,630
Great thinking!
498
00:52:51,418 --> 00:52:54,638
- Bank robbery.
- Got the plan?
499
00:52:54,755 --> 00:52:59,761
You two get on the roof
and drill the first lawman you see coming.
500
00:52:59,843 --> 00:53:04,690
Hold it just a minute now.
You all know what you're...
501
00:53:05,766 --> 00:53:10,272
Don't worry about the half-breed, Ringo.
502
00:53:10,354 --> 00:53:13,483
Switzerland is the bank vault of the world.
503
00:53:13,607 --> 00:53:16,736
On Saturday afternoon,
we are going to rob the biggest banks
504
00:53:16,777 --> 00:53:19,701
in 13 of the biggest cities.
505
00:53:19,780 --> 00:53:21,953
Who gets blamed?
506
00:53:22,116 --> 00:53:25,165
Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
507
00:53:25,285 --> 00:53:29,085
How are you going to be at
13 different banks all at the same time?
508
00:53:30,541 --> 00:53:32,635
I'm not. You are.
509
00:53:33,711 --> 00:53:37,966
- Good God.
- What's all this?
510
00:53:38,132 --> 00:53:40,635
Be my guest, Steele.
511
00:53:50,102 --> 00:53:52,776
- Cor, that's great!
- How do the eyes look?
512
00:53:52,813 --> 00:53:56,659
Perfect, even from here. It's gonna work!
513
00:53:56,734 --> 00:53:59,988
I do not like this joke. Count me out.
514
00:54:00,028 --> 00:54:03,749
- What do you mean?
- Me, too. It's dodgy.
515
00:54:03,991 --> 00:54:05,538
No hard feelings?
516
00:54:06,243 --> 00:54:12,296
No. In fact, I need a couple of bright boys
to do another little job. Clouseau.
517
00:54:12,332 --> 00:54:15,427
- To kill Clouseau will be my pleasure.
- But our ruin!
518
00:54:15,502 --> 00:54:21,509
Once we've made the haul, I want Clouseau
trying to explain his innocence.
519
00:54:21,592 --> 00:54:26,519
No, my friend, do not kill Clouseau.
Kidnap him.
520
00:54:26,555 --> 00:54:30,526
And while you are holding me prisoner,
521
00:54:30,601 --> 00:54:34,651
Ringo and One-Eye and the half-breed
are robbing the bank!
522
00:54:34,688 --> 00:54:39,285
Lefty and whatshisname
are shooting up the hotel lobby
523
00:54:39,401 --> 00:54:44,498
and the one with the squeaky voice
is up on the roof,
524
00:54:44,573 --> 00:54:47,497
waiting to shoot the first lawman he sees.
525
00:54:47,534 --> 00:54:50,378
- Are you getting all this?
- Yeah, get it!
526
00:54:50,537 --> 00:54:55,885
- The bank president is in on it, too.
- Not the mayor? Or Brigitte Bardot?
527
00:54:56,043 --> 00:54:59,138
- No, not Brigitte Bardot.
- Throw him out!
528
00:54:59,254 --> 00:55:03,304
Wait! Ringo's the breed, the half-breed!
529
00:55:04,968 --> 00:55:07,391
Police brutality!
530
00:55:09,556 --> 00:55:11,058
Jacques.
531
00:55:11,225 --> 00:55:14,570
If you'd come,
those fools would have believed me.
532
00:55:14,645 --> 00:55:19,776
- You needed someone to watch the bank.
- They will not start until it's clear.
533
00:55:19,900 --> 00:55:22,904
I hope we won't have to wait long.
I'm cold.
534
00:55:22,945 --> 00:55:26,995
Yes! It is cold. Come, let's go home.
535
00:55:27,115 --> 00:55:31,962
- What about the crooks?
- They never sleep. Neither does Clouseau.
536
00:56:41,315 --> 00:56:43,818
That will teach you to sneak up on me.
537
00:57:49,049 --> 00:57:52,724
All right. Come on, over to the wall.
538
00:57:52,803 --> 00:57:55,898
Go on. Turn round.
539
00:57:55,973 --> 00:57:58,726
Hands up. High.
540
00:57:59,893 --> 00:58:02,988
All right, turn round.
541
00:58:03,105 --> 00:58:06,985
- Drop your hands now.
- What's up, Weaver?
542
00:58:41,101 --> 00:58:45,607
I don't want praise.
At all times I always do my best.
543
00:58:45,772 --> 00:58:49,367
Commissioner Braithwaite
extends his congratulations.
544
00:58:49,484 --> 00:58:54,285
For killing one crook I am reprimanded.
For killing two I am complimented.
545
00:58:54,364 --> 00:58:56,458
Tell him to make up his mind.
546
00:58:56,616 --> 00:59:02,214
On behalf of the Paris Surete
allow me also to congratulate you.
547
00:59:02,456 --> 00:59:05,460
You're sure you've got the rail ticket
548
00:59:05,500 --> 00:59:09,346
and the rest of the papers
we found on the dead man?
549
00:59:14,634 --> 00:59:17,638
When you get to Zurich,
if you run into more than you handle...
550
00:59:17,721 --> 00:59:22,022
Up to now, I think I've done
pretty well on my own, don't you?
551
00:59:22,142 --> 00:59:26,739
- Yes. See you.
- You are an ornament to France.
552
00:59:29,357 --> 00:59:31,451
Don't forget Ringo and the half-breed.
553
00:59:32,319 --> 00:59:35,323
Clouseau, your train! Your train!
554
00:59:56,927 --> 01:00:01,683
Do you play jacks?
David can't get past threesies.
555
01:00:01,765 --> 01:00:06,362
- Don't bother the nice man, Nicole.
- The nice man is not bothered.
556
01:00:08,146 --> 01:00:11,525
- I want to go to the toilet.
- That's nice.
557
01:00:11,608 --> 01:00:14,987
I want to go to the toilet.
558
01:00:15,070 --> 01:00:20,702
- Excuse me. He wants to go to the toilet.
- Come on, David.
559
01:00:24,913 --> 01:00:29,464
Next year I'm staying at home
and Daddy can take you on holiday.
560
01:00:30,877 --> 01:00:34,222
I can do Ladies in the Wash House.
561
01:00:34,297 --> 01:00:36,425
You'd have to start out with Babies.
562
01:00:47,060 --> 01:00:51,782
- One up, Chicken in the Basket.
- Time for lunch, Nicole.
563
01:00:51,898 --> 01:00:58,156
- But I was playing with Uncle Jacques.
- Nicole.
564
01:00:58,280 --> 01:01:03,332
- Goodbye, Uncle Jacques.
- Yes, goodbye. Have a good time.
565
01:01:04,911 --> 01:01:09,166
I've got seven in the...
566
01:01:09,249 --> 01:01:12,674
Feathers in the House, Duck in the Soup.
567
01:01:14,546 --> 01:01:17,720
Weaver! What are you doing here?
568
01:01:17,757 --> 01:01:22,308
Well, it's an opportunity
of having a holiday without my missus.
569
01:01:23,346 --> 01:01:28,193
You've got a point. As long as
you're not here to meddle in my case.
570
01:01:28,268 --> 01:01:32,364
Oh, no, no. Wouldn't dream of it.
571
01:01:32,439 --> 01:01:37,070
- Would you join me in an aperitif?
- Surely. Thank you.
572
01:01:39,779 --> 01:01:41,247
Training for the Olympics, are we?
573
01:01:41,281 --> 01:01:44,330
Oh, you think this is child's play?
574
01:01:44,409 --> 01:01:47,413
- Well, isn't it?
- In the hands of a child, yes.
575
01:01:47,454 --> 01:01:52,176
But as a test of skill,
concentration and dexterity...
576
01:01:52,292 --> 01:01:55,637
- Would you care for a small game?
- Surely.
577
01:01:55,795 --> 01:01:59,299
That is, unless you're afraid
to take on Clouseau.
578
01:02:00,508 --> 01:02:05,014
I'm not afraid, monsieur.
I'm looking forward to it.
579
01:02:10,101 --> 01:02:13,446
- Onesies! Onesies. One.
- Yes, I have it.
580
01:02:15,357 --> 01:02:17,906
- Twosies.
- You didn't pick anything up.
581
01:02:17,984 --> 01:02:22,239
- You had that lodged in your fingers.
- Twosies. Twosies.
582
01:02:22,364 --> 01:02:25,994
- All right, twosies.
- Threesies!
583
01:02:31,331 --> 01:02:32,503
A miss!
584
01:02:32,540 --> 01:02:34,668
All right, all right.
585
01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:38,676
All right. Yes.
Here we go with this one now.
586
01:02:38,838 --> 01:02:44,845
- That's it. You can't move the jacks!
- The train hit a bump! When the train...
587
01:02:44,928 --> 01:02:49,183
- You're breaking all the rules.
- It's my jacks!
588
01:02:49,266 --> 01:02:54,773
That's it. Leave them as they are.
Throw the ball. Onesies.
589
01:02:55,855 --> 01:02:58,074
- That...
- Twosies!
590
01:02:58,191 --> 01:03:00,944
- Do you want to...
- Get away from me!
591
01:03:01,069 --> 01:03:05,040
- Get out!
- Don't bother a man... Threesies.
592
01:03:16,793 --> 01:03:19,546
Here's the ball. Your turn.
593
01:03:20,547 --> 01:03:24,222
You quit while you're ahead?
Come back and finish the game.
594
01:03:25,051 --> 01:03:27,395
Weaver, come back and
595
01:03:28,555 --> 01:03:30,603
finish the game.
596
01:03:31,641 --> 01:03:36,613
We'll finish the jacks
and then we'll have a wrestling match.
597
01:03:37,939 --> 01:03:44,572
No, not the door! All right,
I'll take off 20 points from my score.
598
01:03:45,989 --> 01:03:48,412
No! Please!
599
01:04:06,926 --> 01:04:10,851
My Auntie Mary does this for me.
600
01:04:16,269 --> 01:04:20,024
- I didn't like that man.
- He won't bother us anymore.
601
01:04:20,106 --> 01:04:22,825
Read us a story?
602
01:04:31,826 --> 01:04:38,004
Edward Bear, known to his friends
as Winnie the Pooh, or Pooh for short...
603
01:04:42,295 --> 01:04:45,390
- Inspector Clouseau?
- Yes.
604
01:04:48,301 --> 01:04:51,601
Permit me to introduce myself.
Director of National Security.
605
01:04:51,638 --> 01:04:53,356
Hoeffler, isn't it?
606
01:04:53,431 --> 01:04:59,313
The Minister of Finance
has assembled the bank presidents. Come.
607
01:04:59,396 --> 01:05:01,990
- The car is outside.
- Jacques.
608
01:05:02,065 --> 01:05:05,820
Weaver was on the train.
I think he's one of the gang.
609
01:05:05,902 --> 01:05:08,826
- Thank you.
- I'll see you later.
610
01:05:11,491 --> 01:05:14,495
- One minute.
- Of course.
611
01:05:17,831 --> 01:05:19,504
Get that girl.
612
01:05:29,342 --> 01:05:33,688
This car is at your disposal.
The driver has his instructions.
613
01:05:40,228 --> 01:05:42,777
- How did it go?
- According to plan.
614
01:05:42,897 --> 01:05:47,118
Good. We'll stop
and switch clothes on the way.
615
01:06:09,883 --> 01:06:13,933
- Change and get back quickly.
- Right away.
616
01:06:17,682 --> 01:06:20,185
And finally, Zurich.
617
01:06:21,728 --> 01:06:26,825
It is for these reasons, gentlemen,
that I have called you all,
618
01:06:26,900 --> 01:06:31,701
you bank presidents of Switzerland,
here to Zurich today.
619
01:06:31,738 --> 01:06:35,242
I, as the responsible Minister of Finance,
620
01:06:35,325 --> 01:06:39,250
have declared this to be
a national emergency.
621
01:06:39,329 --> 01:06:42,583
And I have pledged, on your behalf,
622
01:06:42,665 --> 01:06:45,839
your fullest, your fullest co-operation
623
01:06:46,961 --> 01:06:48,634
to Inspector Clouseau.
624
01:06:50,590 --> 01:06:52,934
Inspector.
625
01:06:53,009 --> 01:06:58,812
Mr Minister, honoured bank presidents,
after months of meticulous work,
626
01:06:58,932 --> 01:07:03,688
we have pieced together a picture
of what we think the crooks will do.
627
01:07:03,811 --> 01:07:07,281
- The robbery will take place tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
628
01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:10,614
- Saturday the banks close early.
- Precisely.
629
01:07:10,693 --> 01:07:14,288
Inspector Clouseau,
if you are so well informed,
630
01:07:14,447 --> 01:07:17,826
why do you not know
which bank they plan to rob?
631
01:07:17,951 --> 01:07:21,797
The gang has had all your banks
under surveillance.
632
01:07:21,871 --> 01:07:26,377
Take a very good look at my face.
633
01:07:29,629 --> 01:07:32,803
I shall fly by helicopter
to the unlucky bank
634
01:07:32,966 --> 01:07:36,311
and supervise the
transference of all funds.
635
01:07:36,386 --> 01:07:41,358
Inspector Weaver of Scotland Yard
has a few more remarks to make.
636
01:07:42,976 --> 01:07:47,152
Gentlemen,
under no circumstances whatsoever
637
01:07:47,230 --> 01:07:51,576
are you to follow any instructions
from an intermediary.
638
01:07:51,693 --> 01:07:53,991
Do not accept or honour
639
01:07:54,153 --> 01:08:00,001
any apparent radio or telephone message
from Inspector Clouseau or myself.
640
01:08:00,159 --> 01:08:04,039
Only that way can you be sure
that your money is safe.
641
01:08:04,163 --> 01:08:06,541
In the hands of Jacques Clouseau.
642
01:08:09,836 --> 01:08:12,680
There. Now may I speak to London?
643
01:08:14,173 --> 01:08:16,767
But that's all the change I have!
644
01:08:16,884 --> 01:08:21,936
I've been trying to make this call
for an hour. Wait. My mother has come by.
645
01:08:22,056 --> 01:08:26,186
Mother, have you got any money?
Good. Thank you.
646
01:08:26,352 --> 01:08:29,231
Luckily, she had some change.
647
01:08:29,355 --> 01:08:33,531
A miraculous occurrence
that she didn't tell me about.
648
01:08:33,610 --> 01:08:36,614
Oh, and here comes my Uncle George.
649
01:08:36,738 --> 01:08:40,538
He seems also to have
some change with him.
650
01:08:40,617 --> 01:08:45,043
Here it comes, into the telephone,
at this very moment.
651
01:08:45,121 --> 01:08:50,378
And here comes my sister,
with another 20 centimes. And 20 more.
652
01:08:50,543 --> 01:08:53,888
Thank you, dear relatives. Now...
653
01:08:54,047 --> 01:08:57,972
70 centimes more!
But I have no more buttons...
654
01:08:58,092 --> 01:09:02,393
I mean, can't you trust me,
a policeman of good standing?
655
01:09:03,389 --> 01:09:07,565
Wait. I'll see if I can find
someone in this humble village
656
01:09:07,644 --> 01:09:10,898
that will trust a man with an honest face.
657
01:09:10,980 --> 01:09:15,577
No, wait! I made a mistake!
Don't hang up the telephone.
658
01:09:21,991 --> 01:09:24,244
Looks like rain.
659
01:09:26,579 --> 01:09:28,627
Listen...
660
01:09:29,666 --> 01:09:32,260
Can I borrow...
661
01:09:44,180 --> 01:09:47,605
No. I need... I need 70 centimes.
662
01:09:47,725 --> 01:09:51,775
I'm not poor.
I have to make a telephone call.
663
01:09:51,813 --> 01:09:56,284
I have to make a phone call.
I'm not a thief. Here.
664
01:09:56,359 --> 01:09:59,329
I have a wristwatch. A watch!
665
01:09:59,946 --> 01:10:04,952
I'll give you my automatic,
slightly waterproof watch.
666
01:10:04,992 --> 01:10:07,120
Trade for the money.
667
01:10:11,499 --> 01:10:14,878
Yes. Yes. That's what I always say.
668
01:10:18,381 --> 01:10:20,554
No, you don't!
669
01:10:20,675 --> 01:10:25,055
Some scoundrel put buttons
in the telephone. It's kaput.
670
01:10:26,681 --> 01:10:31,482
- We've got two minutes to get moving.
- How's this going?
671
01:10:31,561 --> 01:10:35,657
- It's finished. Want to see it?
- Yes, certainly.
672
01:10:38,067 --> 01:10:41,037
Marvelous! Keep that up.
673
01:10:41,154 --> 01:10:44,158
Come on, get this thing moving!
674
01:10:49,287 --> 01:10:54,009
I'll be back in about 20 minutes.
Make sure everything's ready.
675
01:11:00,757 --> 01:11:03,385
He was warned that this might happen.
676
01:11:03,509 --> 01:11:06,262
But he is having his first grandchild.
677
01:11:06,387 --> 01:11:10,608
Transfer everything from the vault
to the armoured car.
678
01:11:10,725 --> 01:11:15,196
- I take full responsibility.
- Of course, Inspector Clouseau.
679
01:12:29,846 --> 01:12:33,441
- Sorry, sir, the bank is closed.
- I have an emergency.
680
01:12:33,683 --> 01:12:37,859
I must cash a cheque.
I have to make a telephone call.
681
01:12:37,937 --> 01:12:41,441
- We have no money.
- What? What do you mean?
682
01:12:41,524 --> 01:12:45,279
- We have no money.
- The bank has no money?
683
01:12:45,444 --> 01:12:48,664
Where is the concierge? Hey, listen...
684
01:12:48,781 --> 01:12:54,003
- Concierge, I have an important...
- Inspector Clouseau!
685
01:12:54,120 --> 01:12:58,626
- You know who I am?
- Yes, but you just left with the money.
686
01:12:58,708 --> 01:13:03,339
- No. This fellow won't give me any money.
- Yes, but... Surely...
687
01:13:03,462 --> 01:13:05,806
- It's a boy!
- It's a boy.
688
01:13:07,466 --> 01:13:09,935
It's a boy! It's a...
689
01:13:10,303 --> 01:13:13,147
Inspector Clouseau. Oh, no, not my bank.
690
01:13:13,222 --> 01:13:18,524
- How come everyone knows who I am?
- The inspector took responsibility.
691
01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:23,650
- So our money was loaded into the truck.
- Yes, it's part of the plan.
692
01:13:23,816 --> 01:13:25,739
- What plan?
- Your plan.
693
01:13:26,694 --> 01:13:29,664
My plan is to cash a cheque
and make a call to London.
694
01:13:31,032 --> 01:13:35,037
- There's something wrong.
- I'm glad you agree with me.
695
01:13:35,161 --> 01:13:39,211
Guard! What do you mean, cash a cheque?
Take him!
696
01:13:39,332 --> 01:13:42,506
It's only five francs. No need for a fuss.
697
01:13:51,510 --> 01:13:55,560
Let's get this thing moving.
Get these doors open.
698
01:13:56,599 --> 01:13:58,021
Quickly! Come on!
699
01:13:58,100 --> 01:14:02,526
Right. Come along,
we haven't got all day. Push it.
700
01:14:02,980 --> 01:14:04,857
Come on!
701
01:14:07,860 --> 01:14:09,954
Okay.
702
01:16:15,905 --> 01:16:17,782
What are you doing here?
703
01:16:17,823 --> 01:16:20,667
- I let you in.
- Keep watching the main gate.
704
01:16:20,743 --> 01:16:24,998
You heard what Johnny Rain...
Inspector Clouseau said.
705
01:16:28,709 --> 01:16:33,590
We almost gave the whole thing away!
Bolt that door and let nobody else in.
706
01:16:37,134 --> 01:16:38,147
How's it going?
707
01:16:38,172 --> 01:16:41,208
Hold my slide rule.
I'll find out for you.
708
01:16:41,806 --> 01:16:45,356
- Should be done in an hour and ten.
- Good.
709
01:16:45,851 --> 01:16:48,695
- Quick, man.
- Don't strain yourself.
710
01:16:48,729 --> 01:16:52,279
Come on, Steele. On top of that crate.
711
01:17:06,539 --> 01:17:09,213
Swing it round. More to your left. Okay.
712
01:17:09,708 --> 01:17:13,338
- Down.
- Come on, down! Don't waste time.
713
01:17:14,380 --> 01:17:15,569
By now, old chap,
714
01:17:15,594 --> 01:17:19,160
they're searching airports and
railroads for our fast getaway.
715
01:17:19,760 --> 01:17:24,857
The last thing they'll be looking for
is a slow-moving barge loaded with candy.
716
01:17:24,890 --> 01:17:28,736
- Couldn't have done better myself.
- I have to get to the city.
717
01:17:28,769 --> 01:17:34,776
Wait. If we've got to take a ride on
this floating time bomb, what about him?
718
01:17:35,151 --> 01:17:38,200
He is the only one in our group
719
01:17:38,237 --> 01:17:39,864
with a legitimate reason
for being in Switzerland.
720
01:17:39,905 --> 01:17:44,957
While you're taking a pleasure cruise,
I'll be stuck at headquarters.
721
01:17:45,911 --> 01:17:48,585
So that if anything goes wrong,
you'll get warned.
722
01:17:48,622 --> 01:17:52,126
We're on 102 megacycles,
so you will keep in contact.
723
01:17:52,251 --> 01:17:54,345
- You gonna take me?
- Yeah.
724
01:17:54,461 --> 01:17:57,635
- We'll meet again in Cologne.
- Cologne.
725
01:18:01,302 --> 01:18:07,605
News Express. Robbery sensation.
Famous French inspector arrested.
726
01:18:07,683 --> 01:18:09,435
Read all about it.
727
01:18:11,770 --> 01:18:13,693
News Express...
728
01:18:13,939 --> 01:18:16,738
You are only the watchman
at the Lindt factory.
729
01:18:16,775 --> 01:18:19,198
How did you get the money?
730
01:18:19,278 --> 01:18:24,125
Perhaps we can refresh your memory.
Bring in Clouseau.
731
01:18:24,283 --> 01:18:26,957
- Empty your pockets.
- I already have.
732
01:18:27,036 --> 01:18:29,630
On the desk!
733
01:18:41,050 --> 01:18:43,803
Thank you, Beckman.
734
01:18:43,886 --> 01:18:48,733
- You recognize this man?
- Yes, I do. Can I go now?
735
01:18:48,849 --> 01:18:52,729
You're a teller of tales.
Also you are a liar!
736
01:18:52,853 --> 01:18:56,073
The one thing I despise is a cop gone bad.
737
01:18:56,190 --> 01:19:00,696
- "Cop"? I happen to be a full inspector.
- I'm terribly sorry...
738
01:19:00,819 --> 01:19:06,417
This man threw me from
the 9.17 Zurich express, stole my money
739
01:19:06,492 --> 01:19:08,790
and I accuse him of cheating at jacks!
740
01:19:08,827 --> 01:19:11,250
- This fellow's ill.
- That's mine!
741
01:19:11,372 --> 01:19:15,752
- Armed and dangerous!
- Here, that's mine! You've had yours.
742
01:19:15,876 --> 01:19:18,379
- That man's a crook.
- Stop that man!
743
01:19:18,504 --> 01:19:21,599
He's had his share. This is mine.
744
01:19:21,924 --> 01:19:25,645
- I said to stop him, you fool!
- Man? I saw no man!
745
01:19:26,679 --> 01:19:28,226
I saw nobody!
746
01:19:39,024 --> 01:19:41,618
- Take his feet.
- There are two of you!
747
01:19:42,319 --> 01:19:43,696
Come on.
748
01:19:47,366 --> 01:19:50,119
My face! You've stolen my face!
749
01:19:50,995 --> 01:19:53,714
Give me back my face, you fiend!
750
01:20:08,887 --> 01:20:12,437
- Oh, my.
- Thank you.
751
01:20:17,479 --> 01:20:20,073
Hit him back.
752
01:20:28,240 --> 01:20:34,589
And that is just the beginning, my friend.
I have just begun to fight.
753
01:20:34,663 --> 01:20:37,462
If I had a silver bullet...
754
01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:45,094
Are you all right'? Can I help you?
755
01:20:45,174 --> 01:20:47,643
What an experience.
756
01:20:48,594 --> 01:20:50,437
It lives!
757
01:20:50,512 --> 01:20:53,607
Get away! This person
758
01:20:53,974 --> 01:20:57,103
has his hands around my neck.
759
01:20:58,020 --> 01:21:02,196
And it is... If I can find that vein!
760
01:21:16,538 --> 01:21:18,836
- He's dead.
- Who was he?
761
01:21:56,161 --> 01:21:59,756
We are waiting for a statement
from Inspector Clouseau,
762
01:21:59,832 --> 01:22:03,302
who's just been released from custody.
763
01:22:03,335 --> 01:22:07,636
He's now in charge of the investigation.
764
01:22:07,673 --> 01:22:13,225
- Could you give us a statement, please?
- Chocolate makes one very thirsty.
765
01:22:13,345 --> 01:22:16,519
But millions of people are watching.
766
01:22:16,598 --> 01:22:21,525
Listen to this, millions of people.
There has been a robbery.
767
01:22:21,603 --> 01:22:26,860
The money has been spirited out of
Switzerland wrapped as chocolate bars.
768
01:22:26,942 --> 01:22:31,869
So if your chocolate bar
has money in it, contact me
769
01:22:32,030 --> 01:22:38,037
and I promise you the gratitude of
the government and a free chocolate bar!
770
01:22:38,078 --> 01:22:41,298
- Take it.
- Give me that! That's my money!
771
01:22:41,373 --> 01:22:44,923
You idiot!
I had this suit made in Hong Kong!
772
01:23:19,077 --> 01:23:23,423
- See you tomorrow. Over and out.
- Roger and goodbye.
773
01:23:28,587 --> 01:23:33,684
- Is that you?
- Yeah, of course it's me.
774
01:23:34,259 --> 01:23:39,106
Where have you been?
You still wearing that ridiculous face?
775
01:23:39,765 --> 01:23:44,271
How dare you talk to me like that,
you common prison barber?
776
01:23:44,520 --> 01:23:46,943
- Don't touch!
- But you're dead.
777
01:23:47,272 --> 01:23:49,366
Yes, and you're under arrest.
778
01:23:49,983 --> 01:23:53,032
- What d'you want, handcuffs?
- Yes.
779
01:23:53,111 --> 01:23:57,116
Maybe you left them in the car.
Here are the keys.
780
01:23:57,282 --> 01:24:00,377
- That's my car keys!
- They're over there.
781
01:24:00,494 --> 01:24:04,670
You come with me.
We're both going to get...
782
01:24:04,790 --> 01:24:07,885
I'll stay here, you get the keys!
783
01:24:08,001 --> 01:24:10,800
- Don't go away!
- I'll go here.
784
01:24:10,879 --> 01:24:14,509
Where are my keys?
785
01:24:16,343 --> 01:24:18,812
Where are they? They must...
786
01:24:53,338 --> 01:24:57,969
Don't push that! Don't do that!
Don't start the bridge!
787
01:26:08,246 --> 01:26:10,248
Help!
788
01:26:18,090 --> 01:26:19,091
Help! Help!
789
01:26:22,803 --> 01:26:26,853
Help! SOS for a drowning detective!
790
01:26:40,445 --> 01:26:44,450
- What you got there?
- Brought you a little present.
791
01:26:45,492 --> 01:26:48,462
- Haul him in.
- Don't grab me like that!
792
01:26:49,162 --> 01:26:50,459
Get up.
793
01:26:50,497 --> 01:26:55,628
If I wasn't encased in a balloon,
you'd see some action.
794
01:26:55,794 --> 01:26:58,468
Let me go!
795
01:27:00,465 --> 01:27:04,470
- Welcome aboard.
- Run! These are dangerous criminals!
796
01:27:04,511 --> 01:27:07,014
We're all criminals here,
ain't we, Rainbow?
797
01:27:08,390 --> 01:27:11,940
Johnny Rainbow?
You can't trust anybody any more.
798
01:27:11,977 --> 01:27:14,196
Oh, you can trust me.
799
01:27:14,813 --> 01:27:18,443
And I'd like to say
how grateful we are to you.
800
01:27:18,483 --> 01:27:24,206
Without your co-operation, that exquisite
face, I couldn't have pulled it off.
801
01:27:26,992 --> 01:27:30,337
- Bye-bye, Superman.
- Take him away.
802
01:27:30,704 --> 01:27:34,800
You'll soon be laughing
on the other side of my face!
803
01:27:36,293 --> 01:27:39,797
That hold was ruled illegal
at the Geneva Convention!
804
01:27:45,635 --> 01:27:48,309
Jacques! They got you, too.
805
01:27:48,346 --> 01:27:52,772
Are you all right? You look awful.
What have they done to you?
806
01:27:52,893 --> 01:27:56,614
Dragged me backwards in the water,
without skis.
807
01:27:56,730 --> 01:28:00,360
Throw me from a train. Give me drugs.
808
01:28:00,442 --> 01:28:04,868
Worse than that,
they punctured my rubber underwear!
809
01:28:06,239 --> 01:28:08,867
But you're alive and in one piece.
810
01:28:08,909 --> 01:28:12,539
- Let's figure a way out.
- You figure it out.
811
01:28:12,621 --> 01:28:15,966
What do you mean?
What are we going to do?
812
01:28:16,082 --> 01:28:18,926
I don't know what we're going to do.
813
01:28:19,044 --> 01:28:21,921
They'll kill us! How
can you talk like that?
814
01:28:21,946 --> 01:28:24,950
I can talk like that
because I face facts.
815
01:28:27,093 --> 01:28:29,892
I ruin everything I touch.
816
01:28:29,930 --> 01:28:32,308
What's the matter with you?
817
01:28:32,432 --> 01:28:37,484
Arrested twice. I destroy
a phone booth at the railway station.
818
01:28:38,897 --> 01:28:41,696
I steal from a nun.
I don't know my own face.
819
01:28:41,733 --> 01:28:47,581
A man comes up to me with my face
tied on, I don't recognise who it is.
820
01:28:47,656 --> 01:28:52,913
I don't deserve to have
this autographed picture of Sean Connery.
821
01:28:53,078 --> 01:28:58,585
- You accept defeat so easily.
- It has taken every ounce of my strength.
822
01:28:58,750 --> 01:29:04,678
- No, it will turn out all right.
- It's not! They're going to kill me!
823
01:29:07,092 --> 01:29:11,347
- Thanks. I needed that.
- Now maybe you can face reality.
824
01:29:11,429 --> 01:29:14,933
- You got Weaver, the traitor.
- That's true.
825
01:29:14,975 --> 01:29:19,856
- You killed three of the gang.
- Sorry to interrupt, but it was five.
826
01:29:19,938 --> 01:29:24,614
- You helped to find the money.
- Helped? I did it all by myself.
827
01:29:24,693 --> 01:29:29,950
Who do you think got the money back?
We are going to bust out of here!
828
01:29:31,199 --> 01:29:32,997
That was not the door.
829
01:29:44,921 --> 01:29:45,922
Okay, you two, let's go.
830
01:30:24,377 --> 01:30:29,349
Last chance, Inspector. Do you work
for us or do we have to get rid of you?
831
01:30:30,175 --> 01:30:32,018
I don't want your money.
832
01:30:32,093 --> 01:30:35,814
I have my health, my hair,
an apartment with an icebox.
833
01:30:36,348 --> 01:30:38,601
- The love of a good woman.
- Terribly moving.
834
01:30:38,683 --> 01:30:42,688
Perhaps we can help them out.
Lash them to the tarpaulin.
835
01:30:43,188 --> 01:30:48,115
I leave you with these...
I leave you with these words.
836
01:30:48,193 --> 01:30:50,867
Wait. I'm going to...
837
01:30:54,532 --> 01:30:58,662
- Frey, what time do we rendezvous?
- My calculations...
838
01:30:58,703 --> 01:31:02,879
Forget your calculations.
Ask the gentleman how we're doing.
839
01:31:03,041 --> 01:31:08,263
- What are we gonna do with these idiots?
- When they find them, we'll be miles away.
840
01:31:09,756 --> 01:31:11,884
What time are we gonna
make the rendezvous?
841
01:31:11,967 --> 01:31:14,220
I don't know. We're losing weigh.
842
01:31:14,302 --> 01:31:16,896
- What did he say?
- We're losing weigh.
843
01:31:16,972 --> 01:31:20,101
- How come...
- We're sinking!
844
01:31:20,225 --> 01:31:23,229
- Abandon ship, everybody!
- We're sinking!
845
01:31:23,395 --> 01:31:26,319
Come on, don't just stand there!
846
01:31:28,233 --> 01:31:30,406
We're sinking, for heaven's sake!
Get in the car.
847
01:31:30,485 --> 01:31:33,659
Come on, get those crates on there!
848
01:31:33,780 --> 01:31:38,081
Get out of here quick! Out of my way!
849
01:32:04,602 --> 01:32:06,730
- They've gone!
- Typical.
850
01:32:06,771 --> 01:32:09,365
Rats leaving a sinking ship.
851
01:32:09,441 --> 01:32:13,696
- I suggest we swim to shore.
- In which direction?
852
01:32:13,820 --> 01:32:17,120
Well, it's a river. In any direction.
853
01:32:17,198 --> 01:32:20,953
- Maybe I'll just scream for help.
- Good idea.
854
01:32:22,787 --> 01:32:25,040
- Help!
- I don't think they heard you.
855
01:32:26,249 --> 01:32:30,129
To track them this far
and then lose them is too much!
856
01:32:30,754 --> 01:32:33,633
- Would you like a cigarette?
- Yes.
857
01:32:33,715 --> 01:32:38,061
It's a menthol cigarette.
I hope you don't mind.
858
01:32:38,136 --> 01:32:40,810
- Menthol? Oh, no.
- You don't like menthol?
859
01:32:40,889 --> 01:32:44,894
- No.
- I find it a much cooler smoke.
860
01:32:45,018 --> 01:32:46,144
Okay.
861
01:32:49,522 --> 01:32:54,494
What's that?
There's an ambulance drawing alongside!
862
01:33:17,842 --> 01:33:23,770
- Goodbye, my darling. See you next week.
- I will have everything ready for you.
863
01:33:25,350 --> 01:33:28,854
- Call me tonight?
- As soon as I get off the plane.
864
01:33:31,022 --> 01:33:33,195
I don't want to rush you...
865
01:33:33,525 --> 01:33:37,701
Well, you son of a gun,
the time has come to say goodbye.
866
01:33:38,154 --> 01:33:41,829
- It's been a wonderful...
- Right. Exactly.
867
01:33:41,866 --> 01:33:45,120
- In every regard.
- Naturally.
868
01:33:45,245 --> 01:33:48,374
- If ever again you...
- I certainly will.
869
01:33:48,414 --> 01:33:53,545
Don't hesitate to use my name
and please call me if you need me.
870
01:33:53,628 --> 01:33:56,472
- Oh, no, no.
- Please. I insist.
871
01:33:56,589 --> 01:34:00,560
- I'd come at my own expense. Indeed.
- Yes.
872
01:34:00,635 --> 01:34:03,730
Well, cheerio then. Yes.
873
01:34:05,390 --> 01:34:09,236
- Goodbye, Jacques.
- Well, goodbye.
874
01:34:09,310 --> 01:34:13,565
- You can expect to hear from me shortly.
- Yes.
875
01:34:13,690 --> 01:34:17,786
Well, don't take any wooden francs.
876
01:34:30,081 --> 01:34:33,085
- Inspector.
- Yes?
877
01:34:33,710 --> 01:34:39,092
- Mrs Weaver!
- The widow Weaver, thanks to you.
878
01:34:39,174 --> 01:34:42,599
No, don't do anything you'll be sorry for.
879
01:34:43,636 --> 01:34:47,732
For our first night alone together
in that naughty Paris of yours.
73275
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