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1
00:00:08,116 --> 00:00:09,987
Previously on
Bob Hearts Abishola...
2
00:00:10,031 --> 00:00:12,294
That is a sexy
pharmacist.
3
00:00:14,557 --> 00:00:16,080
I'd like to take
him twice a day
4
00:00:16,124 --> 00:00:17,951
on an empty stomach.
5
00:00:17,995 --> 00:00:19,823
Kemi.
6
00:00:19,866 --> 00:00:21,172
Please, eh? Don't.
7
00:00:21,216 --> 00:00:22,521
Don't what?
Be happy for you?
8
00:00:22,565 --> 00:00:25,046
I am just here
to pick up a prescription.
9
00:00:25,089 --> 00:00:27,700
You can lie to yourself,
but don't lie to me.
10
00:00:32,531 --> 00:00:34,881
Okay. On the one side
we have the Bob.
11
00:00:34,925 --> 00:00:37,188
On the other side
we have Chukwuemeka.
12
00:00:37,232 --> 00:00:39,930
We don't need to do this.We shouldn't
need to do this,
13
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:41,671
but this way you
will know for sure.
14
00:00:41,714 --> 00:00:44,108
I know for sure.You are wrong.
15
00:00:44,152 --> 00:00:45,718
Let's start simple.
16
00:00:45,762 --> 00:00:47,633
Nigerian. That's easy.
17
00:00:47,677 --> 00:00:49,853
Check mark for
Chukwuemeka.
18
00:00:49,896 --> 00:00:51,463
One to nothing. Hmm.
19
00:00:51,507 --> 00:00:53,248
This is a stupid game.Mm-hmm.
20
00:00:53,291 --> 00:00:55,728
Handsomeness. Another
check mark for Chukwuemeka.
21
00:00:55,772 --> 00:00:57,295
Ooh. Perfectly
shaped head.
22
00:00:57,339 --> 00:00:59,863
Double check.
23
00:00:59,906 --> 00:01:01,212
Bob is handsome.
24
00:01:01,256 --> 00:01:03,301
Compared to what?
25
00:01:03,345 --> 00:01:05,999
Okay, well,
what about "I like him"?
26
00:01:06,043 --> 00:01:08,089
What about
"he's not boring"?
27
00:01:08,132 --> 00:01:10,134
And what about
"he makes me laugh"?
28
00:01:10,178 --> 00:01:11,744
Write those checks down.
29
00:01:11,788 --> 00:01:13,529
I will give you
the laugh one.
30
00:01:13,572 --> 00:01:16,314
The other ones,
not important.
31
00:01:16,358 --> 00:01:18,925
Funny. Check.
32
00:01:18,969 --> 00:01:21,319
Bob is still
losing very badly.
33
00:01:21,363 --> 00:01:23,365
Eh, he's a winner to me.
34
00:01:23,408 --> 00:01:24,801
[snorts]
35
00:01:24,844 --> 00:01:26,411
So that is it.
36
00:01:26,455 --> 00:01:28,152
You have made
your choice.
I have.
37
00:01:28,196 --> 00:01:29,327
You are sure.Yes.
38
00:01:29,371 --> 00:01:30,720
It is Bob.Yes.
39
00:01:30,763 --> 00:01:32,025
Not Chukwuemeka.Yes!
40
00:01:32,069 --> 00:01:33,026
Okay.
41
00:01:34,550 --> 00:01:37,030
Huh. Where are you going?
This is not your stop.
42
00:01:37,074 --> 00:01:38,206
I have an errand to run.
43
00:01:38,249 --> 00:01:40,556
What errand?Abishola,
44
00:01:40,599 --> 00:01:43,341
I stay out of your business,
you stay out of mine.
45
00:01:46,953 --> 00:01:48,303
Next?
46
00:01:48,346 --> 00:01:50,305
E karo, Chukwuemeka.
47
00:01:52,176 --> 00:01:56,049
["Ifanla" by Sola Akingbola
playing]
48
00:02:16,461 --> 00:02:18,420
Yeah, I can see
how that could be an issue.
49
00:02:18,463 --> 00:02:19,421
Who's he talking to?
50
00:02:19,464 --> 00:02:20,857
Family lawyer.
51
00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:23,990
Same guy we use for
my little problem?
52
00:02:24,034 --> 00:02:26,428
No, that was a criminallawyer.
53
00:02:26,471 --> 00:02:28,995
Makes you feel superior
to me, doesn't it?
54
00:02:29,039 --> 00:02:32,434
Well, between the two of us,
I'm still welcome in Canada.
55
00:02:32,477 --> 00:02:34,087
BOB:
All right,
56
00:02:34,131 --> 00:02:35,741
I'll talk to her.
Thanks again.
57
00:02:35,785 --> 00:02:36,873
What's going on?
58
00:02:36,916 --> 00:02:38,440
Mom never made a will.
59
00:02:38,483 --> 00:02:39,658
That's no good.
60
00:02:39,702 --> 00:02:40,877
No, it is not.
61
00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:42,444
If she died,
what would happen?
62
00:02:42,487 --> 00:02:45,098
[sighs] Speaking for myself,
I'd be heartbroken.
63
00:02:45,142 --> 00:02:46,230
Goes without saying.
64
00:02:46,274 --> 00:02:48,537
What else would happen?
65
00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:51,322
Well, for starters, we might
have to sell the company
66
00:02:51,366 --> 00:02:53,759
to pay the taxes on the company.
67
00:02:53,803 --> 00:02:54,847
That's not fair.
68
00:02:54,891 --> 00:02:56,066
[mock gasp]
You should call the IRS
69
00:02:56,109 --> 00:02:57,372
and tell them that.
70
00:02:57,415 --> 00:02:59,983
There's no need to talk to me
like I'm a child.
71
00:03:00,026 --> 00:03:01,289
Then stop talking
like one.
72
00:03:01,332 --> 00:03:03,291
[mocking]:
"Stop talking like one."
73
00:03:03,334 --> 00:03:04,466
What's the big deal?
74
00:03:04,509 --> 00:03:07,425
So we tell Mom to make a will.
75
00:03:07,469 --> 00:03:08,774
Are you volunteering?
76
00:03:08,818 --> 00:03:11,124
Sure. Why not?Great.
77
00:03:11,168 --> 00:03:13,562
Go tell our mother, who's
recovering from a stroke,
78
00:03:13,605 --> 00:03:16,565
that she has to make plans
for when she's dead.
79
00:03:16,608 --> 00:03:19,394
Well, for one thing,
I wouldn't say "dead."
80
00:03:19,437 --> 00:03:20,569
And what would you say?
81
00:03:20,612 --> 00:03:22,701
I don't know,
something more poetic,
82
00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:24,877
like, "shuffling
off the mortal coil."
83
00:03:24,921 --> 00:03:27,010
Did you just come up
with that?
84
00:03:27,053 --> 00:03:29,708
Shakespeare.Oh, yeah.
85
00:03:29,752 --> 00:03:30,753
He's good.
86
00:03:31,928 --> 00:03:33,799
Well, go ahead, then.
Go tell Mom
87
00:03:33,843 --> 00:03:36,802
she needs to make some plans
before she shuffles.
88
00:03:36,846 --> 00:03:38,108
Fine.
89
00:03:41,633 --> 00:03:43,983
Okay, you called my bluff.
I don't want to.
90
00:03:44,027 --> 00:03:46,464
That's what I thought.
I'll take care of it.
91
00:03:47,857 --> 00:03:50,251
So the "mortal coil"
is, like, your body?
92
00:03:50,294 --> 00:03:51,339
Yeah.
93
00:03:51,382 --> 00:03:53,993
That's very cool.
94
00:03:55,212 --> 00:03:57,432
[TV playing indistinctly]Can we talk?
95
00:03:57,475 --> 00:04:00,609
Well, it's not like
I can run away.
96
00:04:01,653 --> 00:04:03,612
Hey, I owe you
an apology.
97
00:04:03,655 --> 00:04:04,961
Really? For what?
98
00:04:05,004 --> 00:04:06,919
I saw this thing on the news
99
00:04:06,963 --> 00:04:09,357
about baby powder
causing cancer.
100
00:04:09,400 --> 00:04:10,793
Yeah, so?
101
00:04:10,836 --> 00:04:13,230
When you were little,
I used that stuff every day.
102
00:04:13,274 --> 00:04:16,277
Dipped you in it like you were
a powdered doughnut.
103
00:04:16,320 --> 00:04:18,366
So, sorry.
104
00:04:18,409 --> 00:04:19,932
Eh, you didn't know.
105
00:04:19,976 --> 00:04:21,978
Now, the smoking
when you were pregnant,
106
00:04:22,021 --> 00:04:23,936
that's something you knew about.
107
00:04:23,980 --> 00:04:26,983
What can I tell you?
I didn't want a big baby.
108
00:04:27,026 --> 00:04:30,203
Clearly didn't stunt
yourgrowth.
109
00:04:31,727 --> 00:04:33,946
Thanks for making this easier.
110
00:04:33,990 --> 00:04:35,687
I was just talking
111
00:04:35,731 --> 00:04:36,906
to Goldfischer.
112
00:04:36,949 --> 00:04:38,081
Our Jew lawyer?
113
00:04:38,124 --> 00:04:39,038
Mom!What?
114
00:04:39,082 --> 00:04:40,126
He says it.
115
00:04:40,170 --> 00:04:41,954
Listen to my
phone messages.
116
00:04:41,998 --> 00:04:46,089
"Hi. It's Arnie Goldfischer,
your favorite Jew lawyer."
117
00:04:46,132 --> 00:04:48,613
He can say it; you can't.Hey,
118
00:04:48,657 --> 00:04:51,529
I was at his kid's bar mitzvah.
Gave him 500 bucks.
119
00:04:51,573 --> 00:04:55,054
The little pisher never sent me
a thank-you card.
120
00:04:55,098 --> 00:04:56,969
Still can't say it.
121
00:04:57,013 --> 00:04:58,493
All right!
122
00:04:59,885 --> 00:05:02,105
He has informed me
that despite his best efforts,
123
00:05:02,148 --> 00:05:04,629
you have refused
to make out a will.
124
00:05:04,673 --> 00:05:07,502
Really? You want to talk
about this now?
125
00:05:07,545 --> 00:05:11,723
Look at me. I'm like a
marionette with a broken string.
126
00:05:11,767 --> 00:05:13,377
I know
127
00:05:13,421 --> 00:05:15,684
it's an uncomfortable subject,
but we would have a hard time
128
00:05:15,727 --> 00:05:19,862
holding on to this business
if you were to suddenly...
129
00:05:19,905 --> 00:05:22,081
shuffle off your mortal coil.
130
00:05:24,083 --> 00:05:25,824
Shakespeare.
131
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,086
Nice.
132
00:05:27,130 --> 00:05:29,088
So if I were
133
00:05:29,132 --> 00:05:31,961
to write up this will,
what do you think would be fair?
134
00:05:32,004 --> 00:05:33,484
Split up the
company equally
135
00:05:33,528 --> 00:05:35,617
between you,
Christina and Douglas?
136
00:05:35,660 --> 00:05:37,053
Well, I mean,
yeah, traditionally,
137
00:05:37,096 --> 00:05:38,620
that would be the way to go.
138
00:05:38,663 --> 00:05:40,404
But you got to take into account
139
00:05:40,448 --> 00:05:44,234
the reality of the current
management structure.
140
00:05:44,277 --> 00:05:45,366
Oh, just spill it.
141
00:05:45,409 --> 00:05:46,715
Douglas and Christina
are dead weight.
142
00:05:46,758 --> 00:05:49,195
You need to give me
control of the company.
143
00:05:49,239 --> 00:05:51,284
Attaboy.
144
00:05:51,328 --> 00:05:53,286
All right, let me think on it.
145
00:05:53,330 --> 00:05:54,853
What's to think about?
146
00:05:54,897 --> 00:05:56,115
Bob...
147
00:05:56,159 --> 00:05:59,075
while my children
may not be equal,
148
00:05:59,118 --> 00:06:01,425
I love them equally.
149
00:06:01,469 --> 00:06:04,646
Well, that's
a beautiful sentiment.
150
00:06:04,689 --> 00:06:06,082
Oh, good, you believe me.
151
00:06:07,126 --> 00:06:08,867
Now go call
Goldfischer
152
00:06:08,911 --> 00:06:11,522
and tell him to come by
next week.
153
00:06:11,566 --> 00:06:14,090
Unless it's one of his holidays.
154
00:06:17,354 --> 00:06:18,486
[sighs]
155
00:06:25,275 --> 00:06:28,234
How you feel about
Puerto Rican cops?
156
00:06:28,278 --> 00:06:29,322
Excuse me?
157
00:06:29,366 --> 00:06:30,802
My husband's partner
just got divorced,
158
00:06:30,846 --> 00:06:33,239
and he's looking
to get back on the horse.
159
00:06:34,284 --> 00:06:36,329
And I would be the horse?
160
00:06:37,330 --> 00:06:40,116
Only if you like
grown men with braces.
161
00:06:40,159 --> 00:06:43,032
On his teeth or his legs?
162
00:06:43,075 --> 00:06:46,252
His teeth. He was
a thumb-sucker as a child.
163
00:06:46,296 --> 00:06:47,471
He sounds quite
wonderful,
164
00:06:47,515 --> 00:06:49,778
but I'm trying to make
it work with Bob.
165
00:06:49,821 --> 00:06:53,216
No hurry. I'm guessing
he'll be single for a while.
166
00:06:53,259 --> 00:06:55,131
Hello.Hey.
167
00:06:55,174 --> 00:06:56,437
Were you able
to run your errands?
168
00:06:56,480 --> 00:06:57,481
What?
169
00:06:57,525 --> 00:06:58,656
Oh, yes, yes.
170
00:06:58,700 --> 00:07:01,180
He's also a year away
from retirement,
171
00:07:01,224 --> 00:07:04,270
so you'd get a pension
and a Winnebago.
172
00:07:04,314 --> 00:07:07,230
Again, thank you, but
I'm sticking with Bob.
173
00:07:07,273 --> 00:07:08,623
That reminds me.
174
00:07:08,666 --> 00:07:10,233
Since you are no longer
interested in Chukwuemeka,
175
00:07:10,276 --> 00:07:13,105
what would you think if I
set him up with somebody else?
176
00:07:13,149 --> 00:07:16,326
Why would you do that?
He's so boring and arrogant.
177
00:07:16,369 --> 00:07:17,719
Yes, you are right.
But maybe there's
178
00:07:17,762 --> 00:07:20,243
a woman out there
who can see past those flaws.
179
00:07:20,286 --> 00:07:22,463
Someone with
a lot of love to give
180
00:07:22,506 --> 00:07:25,509
and enough frequent flyer miles
to take him to Aruba.
181
00:07:27,293 --> 00:07:28,469
Are you interested in him?
182
00:07:28,512 --> 00:07:31,123
Me? No. I was thinking
of somebody else.
183
00:07:31,167 --> 00:07:32,255
Kemi.
184
00:07:32,298 --> 00:07:34,344
Well, maybe.
185
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:35,432
I haven't given it
much thought.
186
00:07:35,476 --> 00:07:37,216
Either way,
I wouldn't do anything
187
00:07:37,260 --> 00:07:38,783
without talking to you first.
188
00:07:38,827 --> 00:07:40,916
If it's somebody else,
I don't care.
189
00:07:40,959 --> 00:07:42,570
And if it is me?
190
00:07:42,613 --> 00:07:44,354
[sighs]
191
00:07:44,397 --> 00:07:47,357
To be honest, I don't think
I'll feel comfortable with that.
192
00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,359
Yes, of course. Good.
193
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,143
And you have
to be honest.
194
00:07:51,187 --> 00:07:52,536
Honesty is best.
195
00:07:55,713 --> 00:07:57,541
It is me.
196
00:07:57,585 --> 00:07:58,716
I knew it.There it is.
197
00:07:58,760 --> 00:07:59,804
Calm down, everybody.
198
00:07:59,848 --> 00:08:01,719
Nothing has happened yet.
199
00:08:01,763 --> 00:08:03,547
Did he ask you out?He did.
200
00:08:03,591 --> 00:08:05,462
But I told him
I didn't want to upset you
201
00:08:05,506 --> 00:08:06,898
and I would talk to you first.
202
00:08:06,942 --> 00:08:08,900
It will not upset me.You said it would.
203
00:08:08,944 --> 00:08:11,250
I said it would make me
uncomfortable.
204
00:08:11,294 --> 00:08:14,645
You said that,
but your face was upset.
205
00:08:14,689 --> 00:08:17,561
Well, if you're asking
my permission, I say no.
206
00:08:17,605 --> 00:08:18,910
You are my
best friend.
207
00:08:18,954 --> 00:08:20,564
It would be too strange.
208
00:08:20,608 --> 00:08:22,697
Okay. Well, then
that is the end of it.
209
00:08:22,740 --> 00:08:24,916
Yes, eh?
That is the end of it.
210
00:08:28,398 --> 00:08:30,792
Is not actually the end.
211
00:08:30,835 --> 00:08:32,271
Oh, Mother Mary!
212
00:08:32,315 --> 00:08:33,838
You agreed to go out with him?
213
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:36,275
So you lied to me.
214
00:08:36,319 --> 00:08:37,407
Uh-uh.
215
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,278
I was slow
in telling you the truth.
216
00:08:40,323 --> 00:08:41,890
Now I am upset.
217
00:08:45,284 --> 00:08:46,634
[sighs]
218
00:08:47,852 --> 00:08:50,376
How you feel about
Puerto Rican cops?
219
00:08:53,902 --> 00:08:55,860
[TV playing indistinctly,
Christina chuckles softly]
220
00:08:55,904 --> 00:08:57,688
DOTTIE [over baby monitor]:
Christina!
221
00:08:57,732 --> 00:08:59,298
Come in here!
222
00:08:59,342 --> 00:09:01,039
Aw, damn.
223
00:09:03,302 --> 00:09:06,175
[low groaning]
224
00:09:06,218 --> 00:09:07,916
Get a move on!
225
00:09:09,961 --> 00:09:11,484
Is everything okay?
226
00:09:11,528 --> 00:09:12,964
No. Come on in.
Close the door.
227
00:09:16,577 --> 00:09:18,274
What's going on?
228
00:09:19,318 --> 00:09:21,190
I don't know if
Bob told you,
229
00:09:21,233 --> 00:09:23,366
but I am drawing
up a will.
230
00:09:23,409 --> 00:09:26,195
Oh, Mom, no, I-I don't want
to talk about that.
231
00:09:26,238 --> 00:09:28,284
You're gonna live
a long, long time.
232
00:09:28,327 --> 00:09:30,808
I can't imagine a world
where you're not a part
233
00:09:30,852 --> 00:09:32,505
of my every day...Shut up.
234
00:09:33,855 --> 00:09:35,073
Before I die...
235
00:09:35,117 --> 00:09:36,858
Can we please use
a different word?
236
00:09:36,901 --> 00:09:39,295
Honey, I just
said "shut up."
237
00:09:40,339 --> 00:09:43,560
Before I die,
I want to know
238
00:09:43,604 --> 00:09:47,303
the company that your father
and I built is in good hands.
239
00:09:47,346 --> 00:09:49,305
You mean Bob?
240
00:09:49,348 --> 00:09:50,306
I mean you.
241
00:09:50,349 --> 00:09:51,307
What?
242
00:09:51,350 --> 00:09:52,308
You heard me.
243
00:09:52,351 --> 00:09:54,876
You want me to run the company?
244
00:09:54,919 --> 00:09:57,443
Oh, Mom,
I-I don't think I'm ready.
245
00:09:57,487 --> 00:09:58,836
You're not.
246
00:10:00,359 --> 00:10:02,100
But with the time
I have remaining,
247
00:10:02,144 --> 00:10:04,450
I could groom you
for the job.
248
00:10:04,494 --> 00:10:05,843
Really?Really.
249
00:10:05,887 --> 00:10:07,453
Sweetheart,
250
00:10:07,497 --> 00:10:10,456
I see a lot of me in you.
251
00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:13,851
I feel a lot of you in me.
252
00:10:13,895 --> 00:10:17,768
So we just need to get
you ready to be a leader.
253
00:10:17,812 --> 00:10:19,465
Okay.A boss.
254
00:10:19,509 --> 00:10:21,337
Great.It's not gonna be easy.
255
00:10:21,380 --> 00:10:23,818
You have to do
exactly what I say.
256
00:10:23,861 --> 00:10:25,123
Of course.
257
00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:27,517
For starters, you want
people to respect you,
258
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:29,432
you need to
respect yourself.
259
00:10:29,475 --> 00:10:31,695
So no more whoring around.
260
00:10:31,739 --> 00:10:34,089
Oh, Mom, you can't say that.
261
00:10:34,132 --> 00:10:36,352
That's called slut-shaming.
262
00:10:36,395 --> 00:10:38,093
Then stop being a slut.
263
00:10:38,136 --> 00:10:39,529
And for God's sake,
264
00:10:39,572 --> 00:10:41,357
no more dating musicians.
265
00:10:41,400 --> 00:10:43,489
From now on,
you only go out
266
00:10:43,533 --> 00:10:45,535
with guys who are capable
of taking care of you,
267
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:46,754
not the other way around.
268
00:10:46,797 --> 00:10:50,061
Would a deejay be
considered a musician?
269
00:10:50,105 --> 00:10:52,324
Yes.Rats.
270
00:10:52,368 --> 00:10:53,717
So, do we have a deal?
271
00:10:53,761 --> 00:10:56,024
You do exactly as I tell you,
272
00:10:56,067 --> 00:10:58,461
and in my will,
I will make you
273
00:10:58,504 --> 00:11:01,638
majority shareholder
and president
274
00:11:01,682 --> 00:11:03,814
of MaxDot Therapeutic Hosiery.
275
00:11:03,858 --> 00:11:06,599
What about Bob and Douglas?
276
00:11:06,643 --> 00:11:08,471
This has to stay
between you and me.
277
00:11:08,514 --> 00:11:10,908
They don't need to know
till after I'm gone.
278
00:11:10,952 --> 00:11:13,781
You'll never be gone
in my heart.
279
00:11:14,825 --> 00:11:16,566
Okay, great.
280
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,699
Now,
281
00:11:18,742 --> 00:11:22,311
before we talk about
your clown makeup,
282
00:11:22,354 --> 00:11:25,357
I need you to run
over to my house.
283
00:11:25,401 --> 00:11:28,404
And in my nightstand,
next to my bed,
284
00:11:28,447 --> 00:11:30,406
is a...
285
00:11:30,449 --> 00:11:33,017
let's call it a "back massager."
286
00:11:33,061 --> 00:11:36,064
Check the batteries
and bring it to me.
287
00:11:36,107 --> 00:11:39,371
If your back is hurting,
I can work on it for you.
288
00:11:39,415 --> 00:11:42,505
No, you really can't.
289
00:11:43,898 --> 00:11:45,073
Now go.
290
00:11:45,116 --> 00:11:47,771
I just want to thank you
for this opportunity
291
00:11:47,815 --> 00:11:49,294
and for believing in me...
292
00:11:49,338 --> 00:11:51,166
Go!
293
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:57,215
Hey, Siri.
294
00:11:57,259 --> 00:11:59,261
Call Douglas Wheeler.
295
00:12:03,395 --> 00:12:04,614
♪
296
00:12:16,321 --> 00:12:18,149
Really?
297
00:12:18,193 --> 00:12:20,064
You are being
very foolish.
298
00:12:21,457 --> 00:12:24,199
I'm just going to keep talking
until you talk back.
299
00:12:27,419 --> 00:12:29,944
All these people
will know our business.
300
00:12:32,337 --> 00:12:33,991
Okay, then.
301
00:12:34,035 --> 00:12:37,255
Yes, I should've asked you first
about dating Chukwuemeka,
302
00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:38,866
but I didn't think you'd care.
303
00:12:38,909 --> 00:12:41,520
You were afraid
I would say no.
304
00:12:43,174 --> 00:12:45,133
I was afraid you'd say no.
305
00:12:45,176 --> 00:12:46,308
Is anybody
sitting there?
306
00:12:46,351 --> 00:12:48,614
She's sitting there.
Are you blind?
307
00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:54,055
Look at it from my viewpoint.
308
00:12:54,098 --> 00:12:56,535
There is a single Nigerian man
with a good job
309
00:12:56,579 --> 00:12:58,189
and a 32-inch waistline.
310
00:12:59,408 --> 00:13:01,976
Yes, he's from the Igbo tribe,
and that is unfortunate,
311
00:13:02,019 --> 00:13:03,804
but he's still Nigerian.
312
00:13:03,847 --> 00:13:06,589
Which, in Detroit, is nothing
to blow your nose at.
313
00:13:08,025 --> 00:13:09,505
You went behind my back.
314
00:13:09,548 --> 00:13:11,724
What kind of friend does that?
315
00:13:11,768 --> 00:13:14,075
A lonely friend.
316
00:13:14,118 --> 00:13:16,207
A friend with a dead husband.
317
00:13:17,252 --> 00:13:18,296
She's really not sitting there.
318
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:19,341
Yes, she is!
319
00:13:21,473 --> 00:13:23,345
Abishola,
320
00:13:23,388 --> 00:13:24,825
please forgive me.
321
00:13:24,868 --> 00:13:26,870
I don't care about who you date.
322
00:13:26,914 --> 00:13:28,741
I care about you lying to me.
323
00:13:29,917 --> 00:13:31,309
[bell dings]
324
00:13:31,353 --> 00:13:32,441
Where are you going?
325
00:13:32,484 --> 00:13:34,835
Oh, I have to run some errands.
326
00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:39,274
Now can I sit there?
327
00:13:39,317 --> 00:13:41,363
Do whatever you want.
328
00:13:45,497 --> 00:13:49,110
So, this guy you guys are
fighting over, is he hot?
329
00:13:51,329 --> 00:13:53,505
I'll stand.
330
00:13:54,811 --> 00:13:57,292
So, we have
an agreement?
331
00:13:57,335 --> 00:13:58,684
You go back to school
332
00:13:58,728 --> 00:14:00,469
and get a business degree.
333
00:14:00,512 --> 00:14:02,775
Yeah, absolutely.
334
00:14:02,819 --> 00:14:05,256
You don't sound
very enthusiastic.
335
00:14:05,300 --> 00:14:09,957
I am, it's just...
business is kind of boring.
336
00:14:11,567 --> 00:14:14,439
You want me to name you
president of MaxDot,
337
00:14:14,483 --> 00:14:16,441
you need a business degree.
338
00:14:16,485 --> 00:14:18,661
Do I? Or do I delegate
the business stuff
339
00:14:18,704 --> 00:14:20,837
to my underlings?
340
00:14:20,881 --> 00:14:23,013
You know what? Never mind.
341
00:14:23,057 --> 00:14:25,668
All right,
I'll do it!
342
00:14:26,930 --> 00:14:29,019
And you can't keep
smoking pot all the time.
343
00:14:29,063 --> 00:14:30,325
Just weekends and Wednesdays.
344
00:14:30,368 --> 00:14:32,370
No more!No more!
345
00:14:34,111 --> 00:14:35,852
And you find a nice girl.
346
00:14:35,896 --> 00:14:38,376
Get married, start a family.
347
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:41,031
Okay, to be clear,
that has always been my goal.
348
00:14:41,075 --> 00:14:45,644
Nice girls don't get paid $1,000
at the end of the date.
349
00:14:45,688 --> 00:14:46,819
How do you know about that?
350
00:14:46,863 --> 00:14:49,474
You charged it to the company.
351
00:14:49,518 --> 00:14:52,390
I had to send her a W-2.
352
00:14:52,434 --> 00:14:54,915
She still on the payroll?
353
00:14:54,958 --> 00:14:56,394
You want this or not?
354
00:14:56,438 --> 00:15:00,268
I do. And, yes,
I will find a nice girl.
355
00:15:00,311 --> 00:15:02,400
But what about
Bob and Christina?
356
00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:04,489
This has to stay
between you and me.
357
00:15:04,533 --> 00:15:07,275
They don't need to know
till after I'm dead.
358
00:15:07,318 --> 00:15:09,016
Which won't be
for many, many years.
359
00:15:09,059 --> 00:15:11,496
Sure.
360
00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:12,715
Now, I don't
know how much
361
00:15:12,758 --> 00:15:15,979
time I have left,
so we need to get going.
362
00:15:16,023 --> 00:15:16,980
Fine.
363
00:15:17,024 --> 00:15:19,243
Hey, where you headed?
364
00:15:19,287 --> 00:15:21,289
To get a haircut.
365
00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:24,509
You wanted to see me?
366
00:15:24,553 --> 00:15:25,641
Yeah.
367
00:15:25,684 --> 00:15:27,164
I've made some decisions
about my will,
368
00:15:27,208 --> 00:15:28,992
and I think you're
gonna be very happy.
369
00:15:29,036 --> 00:15:30,211
Oh, okay.
370
00:15:30,254 --> 00:15:31,603
There's just a
couple of things
371
00:15:31,647 --> 00:15:33,518
we need to go over.
372
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:39,350
So, when it became
clear to me
373
00:15:39,394 --> 00:15:41,135
that the future
of pharmaceutical sales
374
00:15:41,178 --> 00:15:42,353
would be online,
375
00:15:42,397 --> 00:15:44,138
I began developing
a website
376
00:15:44,181 --> 00:15:47,968
called AskChukwuemeka.com.
377
00:15:48,011 --> 00:15:50,579
And here is the part
where I'm very clever...
378
00:15:50,622 --> 00:15:52,624
KEMI:
Abishola was right.
379
00:15:52,668 --> 00:15:54,757
He is so boring!
380
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,411
...over-the-counter
and prescription drugs.
381
00:15:56,454 --> 00:15:57,847
Every time
382
00:15:57,890 --> 00:15:59,762
I recommend a drug,
I would get a penny
383
00:15:59,805 --> 00:16:01,590
from each drug manufacturer...
384
00:16:01,633 --> 00:16:03,026
His head is perfect.
385
00:16:03,070 --> 00:16:06,160
If only it didn't have a mouth.
386
00:16:06,203 --> 00:16:07,596
...if half of them
ask my opinion,
387
00:16:07,639 --> 00:16:09,467
that is a lot of pennies...
388
00:16:09,511 --> 00:16:11,165
Maybe if I didn't
listen to him,
389
00:16:11,208 --> 00:16:13,210
we could make a life together.
390
00:16:13,254 --> 00:16:14,516
...even after taxes,
391
00:16:14,559 --> 00:16:16,648
this will make me
a very wealthy man.
392
00:16:16,692 --> 00:16:19,042
Don't listen, don't listen,
don't listen.
393
00:16:19,086 --> 00:16:22,437
I will use my great riches
to help the people of Nigeria.
394
00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,656
Oh, dear God, stop talking!
395
00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:25,788
And maybe someday,
396
00:16:25,831 --> 00:16:27,485
there will be a movie
on the Netflix
397
00:16:27,529 --> 00:16:29,531
that will tell the story
of my humble...
398
00:16:29,574 --> 00:16:30,445
It's not working!
399
00:16:30,488 --> 00:16:32,490
I cannot drown him out!
400
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:35,711
...as a simple pharmacist
at a CVS pharmacy...
401
00:16:35,754 --> 00:16:37,278
What have I done?
402
00:16:37,321 --> 00:16:40,455
I lost my best friend
for this beautiful idiot!
403
00:16:40,498 --> 00:16:42,500
...or the Hulu!
404
00:16:49,768 --> 00:16:51,161
Incoming.
405
00:16:51,205 --> 00:16:52,336
What?
406
00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:53,337
Oh.
407
00:16:53,381 --> 00:16:55,470
I just came to tell you
408
00:16:55,513 --> 00:16:58,473
that I realize our friendship
is more important than any man.
409
00:16:59,822 --> 00:17:01,345
I will not be seeing
Chukwuemeka again,
410
00:17:01,389 --> 00:17:03,304
even though we had a
fantastic dinner last night
411
00:17:03,347 --> 00:17:06,089
and enjoyed each other's
company very much.
412
00:17:06,133 --> 00:17:07,917
You are lying again.
413
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,614
[sighs]
414
00:17:09,658 --> 00:17:11,747
I am.
415
00:17:11,790 --> 00:17:13,662
I told you.
416
00:17:13,705 --> 00:17:16,012
There is a reason
why a man that handsome
417
00:17:16,056 --> 00:17:18,058
still lives with his mother.
418
00:17:19,407 --> 00:17:21,104
I'm sorry I didn't believe you.
419
00:17:21,148 --> 00:17:22,279
Please forgive me.
420
00:17:22,323 --> 00:17:23,889
I only want to be your friend.
421
00:17:25,935 --> 00:17:27,502
I forgive you.
422
00:17:27,545 --> 00:17:30,287
We must make a vow never
to let a man come between us.
423
00:17:30,331 --> 00:17:32,637
I will make that vow.
424
00:17:32,681 --> 00:17:34,204
As will I. [sighs]
Ah.
425
00:17:34,248 --> 00:17:36,989
This is such a relief.
I hated being angry with you.
426
00:17:37,033 --> 00:17:38,252
I hated it, too.
427
00:17:38,295 --> 00:17:39,992
Especially after I realized
428
00:17:40,036 --> 00:17:42,386
the only reason
Chukwuemeka went out with you
429
00:17:42,430 --> 00:17:44,432
was to make me jealous.
430
00:17:44,475 --> 00:17:46,825
Uh-oh.
431
00:17:46,869 --> 00:17:48,740
"The only reason"?
432
00:17:48,784 --> 00:17:50,046
Isn't it obvious?
433
00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:52,353
When he saw that I was
not interested in him,
434
00:17:52,396 --> 00:17:55,269
then he suddenly started
chasing my best friend.
435
00:17:55,312 --> 00:17:57,140
Oh, I see.
436
00:17:57,184 --> 00:18:00,100
So, he couldn't possibly be
attracted to me for me.
437
00:18:00,143 --> 00:18:02,276
Uh, that is not what I'm saying.
438
00:18:02,319 --> 00:18:04,582
That is what you are saying.
You know how I know?
439
00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:05,888
Because it's what you said.
440
00:18:07,194 --> 00:18:08,630
Is that not what she said?
441
00:18:08,673 --> 00:18:10,022
Don't put me in the middle.
442
00:18:10,066 --> 00:18:12,373
But that is what you said.
443
00:18:12,416 --> 00:18:15,158
And how do you know he wasn't
using you to get to me?
444
00:18:15,202 --> 00:18:16,290
Don't be ridiculous.
445
00:18:16,333 --> 00:18:17,465
Why is it ridiculous?
446
00:18:17,508 --> 00:18:19,380
I am much more fun
to be with than you.
447
00:18:19,423 --> 00:18:21,599
Fun or easier to sleep with?[gasps]
448
00:18:21,643 --> 00:18:23,688
Uh-oh, again.
449
00:18:23,732 --> 00:18:27,170
[both arguing in Yoruba]
450
00:18:33,220 --> 00:18:34,395
E karo.
451
00:18:35,787 --> 00:18:37,833
Uh, I wanted to jump in.
That's all I got.
452
00:18:44,274 --> 00:18:45,710
Karo.
453
00:18:45,754 --> 00:18:47,103
Karo.
454
00:18:47,147 --> 00:18:48,931
How is
your mother today?
455
00:18:48,974 --> 00:18:50,541
She's all right.
She's talking to
456
00:18:50,585 --> 00:18:52,239
our lawyer right
now about her will.
457
00:18:52,282 --> 00:18:54,676
Oh, for when she takes
her well-deserved rest.
458
00:18:54,719 --> 00:18:57,722
Now, see, that's
a nice way to put it.
459
00:18:57,766 --> 00:19:00,725
Why are you eating
lettuce with lemon juice?
460
00:19:00,769 --> 00:19:03,815
Apparently, I'm losing
60 pounds by next summer.
461
00:19:03,859 --> 00:19:05,252
Good for you.
462
00:19:05,295 --> 00:19:06,949
Yeah, good for me.
463
00:19:06,992 --> 00:19:09,081
How have you been?
464
00:19:09,125 --> 00:19:10,648
Not so great.
465
00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:13,303
I had a terrible fight
with my friend Kemi.
466
00:19:13,347 --> 00:19:15,827
Aw, that's too bad.
I like her.
467
00:19:15,871 --> 00:19:18,090
I like her, too,
but she lied to me.
468
00:19:18,134 --> 00:19:19,135
About what?
469
00:19:20,745 --> 00:19:23,792
Um, a thing.
470
00:19:23,835 --> 00:19:25,272
"A thing"?
Oh, that narrows it down.
471
00:19:25,315 --> 00:19:27,143
Can't you be
a little more speci...
472
00:19:37,066 --> 00:19:39,068
♪
473
00:19:39,808 --> 00:19:41,723
A little wider.
474
00:19:41,766 --> 00:19:43,855
Thank you.
475
00:19:43,899 --> 00:19:45,248
Douglas?
476
00:19:46,641 --> 00:19:47,642
Lick.
477
00:19:51,559 --> 00:19:53,169
Very good.
478
00:19:53,213 --> 00:19:55,389
Bob, seal.
479
00:19:56,433 --> 00:19:58,566
[sighs]
480
00:19:58,609 --> 00:20:00,350
Perfect.
481
00:20:00,394 --> 00:20:02,309
Now, who would like
to run Mommy's last will
482
00:20:02,352 --> 00:20:04,049
and testament
over to Goldfischer?
483
00:20:04,093 --> 00:20:05,486
I'll do it.That's okay, I got it.
484
00:20:05,529 --> 00:20:06,791
I should do it!
485
00:20:06,835 --> 00:20:08,880
[mouthing]:
I got this.
486
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:14,669
I should've had
a stroke years ago.
487
00:20:23,852 --> 00:20:25,419
I'm sorry.
488
00:20:25,462 --> 00:20:27,638
I'm sorry, too.
489
00:20:27,682 --> 00:20:31,033
[Tchaikovsky's "Romeo and Juliet
Fantasy Overture" playing]
490
00:20:46,875 --> 00:20:48,790
[record scratch, music stops]
491
00:20:48,833 --> 00:20:49,791
Ready to go home?
492
00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:51,880
Yes. I just need to get my coat.
493
00:20:51,923 --> 00:20:53,273
Good. I will wait.
494
00:20:53,316 --> 00:20:59,757
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
495
00:20:59,801 --> 00:21:02,760
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
33792
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