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1
00:00:01,585 --> 00:00:03,086
Previously on Young Sheldon...
2
00:00:03,086 --> 00:00:04,963
You must be
Coach Ballard's ex-wife.
3
00:00:04,963 --> 00:00:07,174
Yeah. Why?
4
00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:09,134
I'm kind of dating
your ex-husband.
5
00:00:09,134 --> 00:00:10,761
I knew who you were
the whole time.
6
00:00:10,761 --> 00:00:12,054
That's why I
came over here.
7
00:00:12,054 --> 00:00:13,805
Nicely played.
8
00:00:13,805 --> 00:00:15,641
We ought to go out for drinks
one night.
9
00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:16,975
Hell yeah!
(laughs)
10
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:18,685
Yee-haw!
11
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:22,814
ADULT SHELDON:
College is a time
for new experiences,
12
00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:25,817
being exposed
to exciting ways of thinking,
13
00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:28,028
meeting people
from different backgrounds,
14
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:31,323
and the unexpected visit
from your dad in gym shorts.
15
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:32,491
Hey.
16
00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:34,243
What are you doing here?
17
00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:35,953
I got a phone call.
18
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,996
Apparently, the head of the
college wants to talk to us.
19
00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:40,749
Oh, good.
You sure it's good?
20
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,001
Well, it's better than
what I thought when I saw you,
21
00:00:43,001 --> 00:00:44,544
which was,
"Uh-oh, Meemaw died."
Come on.
22
00:00:45,754 --> 00:00:47,339
I was hoping in
college you wouldn't
23
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:48,924
get called to the
principal's office anymore.
24
00:00:48,924 --> 00:00:50,926
She's not the principal.
She's the president.
25
00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:53,011
GEORGE SR.:
So if you're in trouble,
you're in big trouble.
26
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:54,846
SHELDON:
That's a fun way to look at it.
27
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:57,349
Gentlemen, please have a seat.
28
00:00:57,349 --> 00:00:58,850
GEORGE SR.
Sheldon's only been here
a few weeks.
29
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:01,103
I hope he's not
in trouble already.
30
00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:02,562
What kind of trouble?
Did something happen?
31
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,022
Ooh, maybe it's
from when I decided...
32
00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,399
Uh, uh, all good.
33
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,442
Uh, you keep talking.
34
00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:09,444
Well, I'll just get
right to the point.
35
00:01:09,444 --> 00:01:11,446
Uh, I would like you
and your son
36
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:14,366
to meet with a very important
benefactor of the college.
37
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:15,409
Why us?
38
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,494
Well, I mean, Sheldon is...
39
00:01:17,494 --> 00:01:18,954
is an impressive addition
40
00:01:18,954 --> 00:01:21,248
to the physics program,
41
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,709
and-and we like our donors
to feel really good
42
00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:25,544
about where their money's going.
43
00:01:25,544 --> 00:01:27,504
I get it.
You want the star quarterback
44
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:29,214
to shake some hands
with the boosters.
45
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,799
Exactly.
I'm not doing that.
46
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,926
I didn't shake her hand,
and she's the president.
47
00:01:32,926 --> 00:01:35,387
No, you don't have
to shake anybody's hand.
48
00:01:35,387 --> 00:01:36,596
Then why did you say it?
49
00:01:36,596 --> 00:01:38,640
I didn't say it. He said it.
50
00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,100
But you agreed with it.
51
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:42,811
All I'm asking you to do is
to go to dinner,
52
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,856
talk about science with a very
nice and, more importantly,
53
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,733
a very rich person.
54
00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:49,151
Understood.
55
00:01:49,151 --> 00:01:51,236
No, thank you.
Buddy...
56
00:01:51,236 --> 00:01:54,656
All right, uh, Sheldon,
I was brought to this school
57
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:58,410
to help raise its profile,
and one of the ways to do that
58
00:01:58,410 --> 00:02:00,579
is through grants and donations.
59
00:02:00,579 --> 00:02:02,748
You-you can understand that,
right?
60
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:05,167
I understand that you would like
to put the novelty of my age
61
00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:07,502
and advanced intellect
on display to raise some cash.
62
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,588
(laughs):
No. Sort of.
63
00:02:09,588 --> 00:02:12,257
Can I speak to you alone?
Will you give us a minute?
64
00:02:12,257 --> 00:02:14,092
Very well.
But if you're looking to see
65
00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:15,927
if my father will be
a potential donor,
66
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:17,971
you are barking up
the wrong tree.
67
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:22,100
♪ Nobody else
is stronger than I am ♪
68
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:25,270
♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪
69
00:02:25,270 --> 00:02:27,689
♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪
70
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,275
♪ I am a mighty little man ♪
71
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:34,112
♪ I am a mighty little man. ♪
72
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,117
HAGEMAYER:
So...
73
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:42,162
how do we get your son
to cooperate?
74
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,456
I've been asking myself that
since day one.
75
00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,291
Look, I don't mean
to put pressure on you,
76
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:48,210
but there's
a lot of pressure on me,
77
00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:49,795
so I'm going to put it on you.
78
00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:52,089
Look, I'm sorry,
isn't there anyone else
79
00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,132
who can go to dinner
with this guy?
80
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:56,760
So I have a unicorn in my zoo,
81
00:02:56,760 --> 00:03:00,389
but I should trot out a goat,
is that what you're saying?
82
00:03:00,389 --> 00:03:02,641
Would you donate a new library
83
00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,309
to have dinner with a goat?
84
00:03:04,309 --> 00:03:05,894
What restaurant?
85
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:07,312
(sighs)
86
00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:10,524
Mr. Cooper, I need you
to understand something.
87
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:14,736
This university relies
on donations for everything.
88
00:03:14,736 --> 00:03:16,822
For upkeep,
for salaries,
89
00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:21,159
for scholarships, like the one
your son is currently on.
90
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,078
I'll talk to him.
91
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:24,955
Thank you.
92
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:29,876
And when you go to dinner,
wear real pants.
93
00:03:33,004 --> 00:03:34,339
So, there's this thing
94
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:36,550
at school
I really want to go to,
95
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,344
and before you say no, I just
want you to think about it.
96
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:42,055
What is it?
Like a school function.
97
00:03:42,055 --> 00:03:44,516
Why would I say no
to a school function?
98
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,600
So I can go? You're the best.
99
00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,352
Hold on.
100
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,354
What kind of function
are we talking about?
101
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,231
You know, just the normal kind.
102
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:52,774
With some kids.
103
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,276
And some music.
104
00:03:54,276 --> 00:03:56,111
You know you can't go
to a dance.
105
00:03:56,111 --> 00:03:57,195
Why not?
106
00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:58,572
You know that, too.
107
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,073
Because we're Baptist.
108
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,408
But all my friends
are going.
109
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,702
That doesn't
change anything.
110
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:06,037
What if I promise not to dance?
111
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,706
So you expect me to believe
112
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:10,250
that you are going to go
to a dance with your friends,
113
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:13,545
they'll all be dancing
while you just stand there?
114
00:04:13,545 --> 00:04:15,130
I go to church and don't pray.
115
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:16,882
How is this any different?
116
00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,261
MEEMAW:
Where we eating tonight?
117
00:04:22,387 --> 00:04:24,389
Well, that depends.
118
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,807
Why don't you look
in the glovebox
119
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:27,434
and check on the Tums situation.
120
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,271
There's five.
121
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:33,106
Oh, my, this is tricky.
122
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:35,400
Well, Mexican's
at least three apiece.
123
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,986
We might get by with two each
if it's Italian.
124
00:04:37,986 --> 00:04:40,947
You get red wine and
then tomato sauce.
125
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:43,783
Hey, if they put lemon
in the water, we're dead.
126
00:04:43,783 --> 00:04:46,786
Hmm. That leaves barbecue.
Sold.
127
00:04:46,786 --> 00:04:49,289
Who gets Tum number three?
128
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,666
Me. They're my Tums.
129
00:04:53,793 --> 00:04:55,462
Now, what do you
think young people
130
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,963
talk about on
their dates?
131
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:58,924
(chuckles):
I don't know.
132
00:04:58,924 --> 00:05:02,344
But my knee's telling me
it's gonna rain this weekend.
133
00:05:02,344 --> 00:05:05,597
Speaking of this weekend, hey,
my son needs a final head count.
134
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,098
Oh.
135
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:08,767
It's a small wedding.
136
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,685
It'll be weird if I'm there.
137
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:13,647
Aw, come on,
I'm gonna be wearing a suit.
138
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,815
I'm very sexy in a suit.
139
00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:18,944
Come on, Sheldon,
140
00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:20,612
think of it as a free dinner.
141
00:05:20,612 --> 00:05:23,156
I'm a kid.
All my dinners are free.
142
00:05:25,116 --> 00:05:27,202
Is what they're asking
really that bad?
143
00:05:27,202 --> 00:05:29,538
Yes. I go to this university
to study science,
144
00:05:29,538 --> 00:05:33,124
not to help collect money
like an organ grinder's monkey.
145
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:36,002
You see me go to the rallies and
fundraisers at the high school.
146
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,963
I don't love it, but I do it.
147
00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:40,507
And I hope they give you
all the bananas you can eat.
148
00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:44,219
Sheldon, donors like this are
very helpful for the university.
149
00:05:44,219 --> 00:05:46,972
They pay for all the science
equipment and your scholarship.
150
00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:49,307
I hadn't thought of it that way.
151
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:51,810
So I'll tell 'em
we're on for Saturday?
152
00:05:51,810 --> 00:05:53,395
I'll think about it.
153
00:05:53,395 --> 00:05:55,397
What's to think about?
154
00:05:55,397 --> 00:05:57,691
It's a night of you
showing off how smart you are.
155
00:05:57,691 --> 00:05:59,276
People do like that.
156
00:05:59,276 --> 00:06:01,027
All right, I'm in.
(sighs)
157
00:06:02,821 --> 00:06:04,489
♪ ♪
158
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,992
(TV playing indistinctly)
159
00:06:06,992 --> 00:06:08,910
Can I put on the game?
160
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,078
I don't care.
161
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,705
Sweet!
162
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:16,835
What's your problem?
163
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:19,087
Did you ever go
to a school dance?
164
00:06:19,087 --> 00:06:20,714
One or two.
165
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:22,757
How'd you get Mom
to let you?
166
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:24,759
Easy. Didn't ask her.
167
00:06:26,011 --> 00:06:28,388
By the way, that works
for all kinds of stuff.
168
00:06:28,388 --> 00:06:30,849
Well, it's too late.
I already asked.
169
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:32,851
Rookie mistake.
170
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:36,104
Why can't we have
a fun religion?
171
00:06:36,104 --> 00:06:37,897
I don't think
there is one.
172
00:06:40,358 --> 00:06:42,402
Come with me.
173
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:52,203
Here.
174
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,246
What is it?
175
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:54,706
The answer to your problems.
176
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:56,625
Cool. What other tapes you got?
177
00:06:56,625 --> 00:06:59,252
Nature films.
Don't worry about it.
178
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:03,798
Hey. I just got off the phone
with President Hagemeyer.
179
00:07:03,798 --> 00:07:06,384
This guy we're gonna have dinner
with sounds pretty interesting.
180
00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,720
He made all of his money
selling antistatic furniture
181
00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:10,388
for laboratories.
182
00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:11,890
He's not even a scientist?
183
00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,558
He's just a furniture salesman?
184
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:14,601
(stammers softly)
185
00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:15,894
Yeah.
186
00:07:15,894 --> 00:07:17,395
What am I supposed
to talk about?
187
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:18,813
Talk about whatever you want.
188
00:07:18,813 --> 00:07:20,899
Just... don't be insulting.
189
00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:23,151
What if he says something
I think is ridiculous?
190
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,903
Keep it to yourself.
191
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:26,237
What if you just said something
192
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:27,572
I think is ridiculous?
Because...
193
00:07:27,572 --> 00:07:29,240
Okay, maybe we need
to work a little
194
00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:30,909
on your conversation skills,
195
00:07:30,909 --> 00:07:33,453
like not calling people out
for saying stupid things.
196
00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,413
How am I supposed
to practice that?
197
00:07:35,413 --> 00:07:37,415
What's up?
198
00:07:44,339 --> 00:07:45,715
(phone rings)
199
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:48,426
Hello.
Hey, June.
200
00:07:48,426 --> 00:07:49,678
It's Connie Tucker.
201
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,304
Hey, Connie. How are you?
202
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:52,514
I'm good.
203
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,474
Am I seeing you Saturday night?
204
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:56,142
Well, that's
what I've called about.
205
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,602
Are you sure you want me there?
206
00:07:57,602 --> 00:07:59,771
I mean,
it is your son's wedding.
207
00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:01,564
Oh, it's his second wedding.
Those barely count.
208
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,400
Besides,
I'm bringing a date, too.
209
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:04,943
Come on, it'll be fun.
210
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,779
Okay. I'm in.
211
00:08:07,779 --> 00:08:08,863
Fantastic!
212
00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:10,323
So, how dressed up we getting?
213
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,659
Oh, it's a small ceremony,
nothing fancy.
214
00:08:12,659 --> 00:08:15,370
You just saying that 'cause
you want to look better than me?
215
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,122
Of course not.
216
00:08:17,122 --> 00:08:19,499
But I do believe
you'd be stunning in overalls.
217
00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,334
(chuckles)
All right.
218
00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,877
See you then.
219
00:08:22,877 --> 00:08:24,504
Bye.
220
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,631
Overalls, my ass.
221
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,633
So you really
can't dance here, man?
222
00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,301
I can't believe that.
223
00:08:30,301 --> 00:08:31,845
It's true.
GEORGE JR.:
See?
224
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,680
They ain't allowed
to dance, either.
225
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,890
It's like I'm watching my life.
226
00:08:35,890 --> 00:08:38,727
That's how I feel when
I'm watching Top Gun.
227
00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:43,565
Okay, Sheldon, try having
a conversation with Billy
228
00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:44,816
about science.
229
00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:46,276
Let's see.
230
00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:48,486
Uh, what do you know
about quantum mechanics?
231
00:08:48,486 --> 00:08:50,530
My dad's a mechanic.
232
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,867
At his shop, he has a calendar
with a bikini lady on it.
233
00:08:53,867 --> 00:08:54,909
Dad...
234
00:08:54,909 --> 00:08:56,870
Instead of losing patience,
235
00:08:56,870 --> 00:09:00,206
act interested
and ask a follow-up question.
236
00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:02,751
Your father's a mechanic.
237
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,169
Interesting.
238
00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:05,462
You know what else
is interesting?
239
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,380
Quantum mechanics.
That describes
240
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,340
the basic particles and forces
that make up reality.
241
00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,009
Let's talk about that.
242
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,344
I'm gonna marry
that bikini lady.
243
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,514
I've been working on a theory
244
00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:18,850
about the wave-particle
duality of light.
245
00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:21,019
I have a nightlight
that looks like Spider-Man,
246
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:22,562
but I don't turn it on.
247
00:09:24,856 --> 00:09:26,232
Go ahead.
248
00:09:26,232 --> 00:09:28,443
Why don't you turn it on?
249
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:30,195
I'm afraid of spiders.
Yeah, seems like
250
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,780
a good place to stop.
251
00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,114
Now what happens?
252
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:34,616
You go home.
253
00:09:34,616 --> 00:09:36,785
Thank you for your hospitality.
254
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,204
And it was King David.
255
00:09:39,204 --> 00:09:43,875
King David, who-who we read
about in-in Samuel.
256
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:46,044
And-and-and what did David do?
257
00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:47,462
What did David do?
258
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:49,964
What did David do?
David danced.
259
00:09:49,964 --> 00:09:51,216
MISSY:
"David danced
260
00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,884
"before the Lord
with all his might,
261
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:55,637
leaping and dancing
before the Lord."
262
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:57,972
Leaping and dancing.
263
00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,933
I'm impressed.
Thank you.
264
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,893
Too bad it's from Footloose.
265
00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:04,312
(chuckles)
What's a footloose?
266
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:06,981
It is the movie that
Pastor Jeff warned us about
267
00:10:06,981 --> 00:10:09,400
in his talk on the
sins of cinema.
268
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,319
Just let me go to the dance.
269
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:12,946
I'm sorry. I can't.
270
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:15,281
I'm never talking to you again!
271
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,911
Did you show your
sister Footloose?
272
00:10:19,911 --> 00:10:21,913
Did it work?
No!
273
00:10:21,913 --> 00:10:23,248
Mm. Then no.
274
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,624
(growls):
Oh!
275
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,961
GEORGE SR.:
Now, when you meet this guy,
276
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:30,004
you got to shake his hand.
277
00:10:30,004 --> 00:10:31,631
What if I offer a stately bow?
278
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,091
That's how they do it in Asia.
279
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,634
You're shaking his hand.
280
00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,679
Then it's a good thing
I brought Old Righty.
281
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,390
(sighs) You're not wearing that
in a restaurant.
282
00:10:40,390 --> 00:10:41,724
Why?
283
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,017
'Cause you don't
make a good impression
284
00:10:43,017 --> 00:10:44,143
by being afraid
to shake hands.
285
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:45,728
Howard Hughes was a germophobe,
286
00:10:45,728 --> 00:10:47,272
and he did quite well
for himself.
287
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:49,899
Didn't he go crazy
and save his pee in jars?
288
00:10:49,899 --> 00:10:50,942
Better to have it
and not need it
289
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:52,235
than to need it and not have it.
290
00:10:52,235 --> 00:10:53,862
You're shaking his hand!
Okay!
291
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,573
(soft chatter)
292
00:10:57,532 --> 00:10:59,534
Haven't been
to many weddings lately.
293
00:10:59,534 --> 00:11:01,327
Mostly funerals.
294
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,621
Yeah, those don't have
an open bar.
(chuckles softly)
295
00:11:03,621 --> 00:11:05,081
I don't know why I'm so excited.
296
00:11:05,081 --> 00:11:06,749
I'm paying for this.
297
00:11:06,749 --> 00:11:07,876
JUNE:
Hey, y'all.
298
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,586
Hi, June!
299
00:11:09,586 --> 00:11:10,753
Don't you look pretty?
300
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:11,754
Thank you.
301
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:13,381
I happen to agree.
302
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:14,632
(chuckling)
303
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:17,218
Connie, Dale,
this is Justin.
304
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:19,387
Hi, Justin. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you, too.
305
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,431
You must be
a friend of my son's.
306
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:23,391
Actually, he's my date.
307
00:11:24,893 --> 00:11:26,728
Really?
308
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:27,812
Mm-hmm.
309
00:11:27,812 --> 00:11:30,565
Much more fun than a funeral.
310
00:11:33,651 --> 00:11:35,069
HAGEMEYER:
George Cooper,
311
00:11:35,069 --> 00:11:36,571
meet Gary O'Brien,
312
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:38,489
the antistatic
furniture king.
313
00:11:38,489 --> 00:11:39,490
Hello.
314
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:40,825
Shocking to meet you.
315
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,619
Don't do that.
And this, of course,
316
00:11:42,619 --> 00:11:43,953
is our physics prodigy,
317
00:11:43,953 --> 00:11:45,914
Sheldon Cooper.
318
00:11:45,914 --> 00:11:47,415
A great pleasure.
319
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:50,293
ADULT SHELDON:
I had an obligation to fulfill.
320
00:11:50,293 --> 00:11:53,796
So I closed my eyes
and thought of science.
321
00:11:55,089 --> 00:11:57,050
Just like on my honeymoon.
322
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,015
How's pizza sound
for dinner?
323
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:08,144
You think I'm eating dinner
with my mom on a Saturday night?
324
00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,271
(scoffs softly)
You're adorable.
325
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,441
Guess I'm eating alone.
326
00:12:13,441 --> 00:12:14,776
What about Missy?
(sighs)
327
00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:16,361
She's not talking to me.
328
00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:18,279
She'd talk to you
if you just let her go.
329
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,948
You know I can't do that.
330
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:23,534
Come on. I went to school dances
and I turned out fine.
331
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:25,787
I didn't let you go
to any dances.
332
00:12:25,787 --> 00:12:27,997
I did all kinds of stuff
behind your back.
333
00:12:27,997 --> 00:12:29,332
Like what?
334
00:12:29,332 --> 00:12:31,626
I'm dumb, but I'm not that dumb.
335
00:12:31,626 --> 00:12:33,795
So I'm supposed
to just let her do
336
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:35,254
whatever she wants?
337
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:37,048
Yeah, I don't think so.
338
00:12:37,048 --> 00:12:39,217
I'm just saying
she's a good kid.
339
00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:41,427
Be glad she's still asking.
340
00:12:44,722 --> 00:12:47,058
So, how'd you two meet?
341
00:12:47,058 --> 00:12:49,394
Oh, I've been cutting
his mom's hair for years.
342
00:12:49,394 --> 00:12:50,812
Oh, that's nice.
343
00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,438
Bet you when she cuts your hair,
344
00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:54,440
you get a lollipop, don't you?
345
00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,986
Oh, he gets
more than a lollipop.
346
00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:00,071
Really? Is that so?
Dale.
347
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:03,658
Okay, so what is it
you do, Langston?
348
00:13:03,658 --> 00:13:04,784
Justin.
349
00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:05,827
Actually, I'm about
350
00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,412
to open a frozen
yogurt shop.
351
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,746
Frozen yogurt. Right.
352
00:13:08,746 --> 00:13:10,915
Isn't that, like,
crappy ice cream?
353
00:13:10,915 --> 00:13:14,085
(chuckles) We consider it
a healthy alternative.
354
00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:16,421
Right. Crappy ice cream.
355
00:13:16,421 --> 00:13:18,131
It's actually getting
really popular.
356
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:19,632
I'm gonna invest.
357
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:20,675
Invest money?
358
00:13:20,675 --> 00:13:22,844
What else would she invest with?
359
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,512
I don't know.
You got fake ice cream.
360
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,431
How 'bout fake money?
Well, there's...
361
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:29,308
Hey, would you mind going
to get me another drink, please?
362
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:30,309
Happy to.
363
00:13:30,309 --> 00:13:31,728
Thank you.
364
00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:34,772
What's your problem?
365
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:35,773
Yeah, what is your problem?
366
00:13:35,773 --> 00:13:37,025
Who said I had a problem?
367
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:39,277
We did.
You're being rude.
368
00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:42,030
Okay, you want to spend
all your money on some boy toy,
369
00:13:42,030 --> 00:13:43,531
it's none of my business.
370
00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:45,700
Why do you care what she
does with her own money?
371
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:47,160
Yeah, why?
Well, you got
372
00:13:47,160 --> 00:13:49,537
some young guy running around,
asking for money.
373
00:13:49,537 --> 00:13:51,456
You don't think I know
what that's all about?
374
00:13:51,456 --> 00:13:53,666
Okay, he didn't ask-- I offered.
375
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,877
And I can do what I want.
I'm a grown woman.
376
00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:58,337
Oh, hell, you were a grown woman
when he was born.
377
00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:05,053
Sheldon, why don't
you tell Mr. O'Brien
378
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:08,139
about some of your goals
at the university.
379
00:14:08,139 --> 00:14:10,600
Well, I'm pushing
for stricter dress codes.
380
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,727
There are a lot of
belly buttons on display.
381
00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:14,020
Science goals.
382
00:14:14,020 --> 00:14:15,813
My ultimate goal
is to one day devise
383
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:17,523
the grand unified field theory.
384
00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:18,983
Ah.
385
00:14:18,983 --> 00:14:20,693
You're one of those, are you?
(chuckles)
386
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,195
Excuse me?
387
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:24,989
Well, Kurt Godel's
incompleteness theorems
388
00:14:24,989 --> 00:14:28,826
eliminate the possibility
of a unified theory.
389
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:31,204
You honestly believe that?
Sheldon.
390
00:14:32,163 --> 00:14:34,457
That's... interesting.
391
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,709
Tell me more
about how Einstein's life goal
392
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,419
was nothing but folly.
393
00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,673
What is she thinking?
394
00:14:42,673 --> 00:14:45,384
Maybe she's thinking, "Why did
I come here with this guy?"
395
00:14:45,384 --> 00:14:46,844
Wait, no,
396
00:14:46,844 --> 00:14:48,221
that's what I'm thinking.
397
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,972
You know what I'm talking about.
398
00:14:49,972 --> 00:14:51,849
She brought him here on purpose.
(sighs)
399
00:14:51,849 --> 00:14:54,268
What purpose?
To upset me.
400
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,603
You know, Dale,
401
00:14:55,603 --> 00:14:57,522
not everything
is always about you.
402
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,190
Well, you're mad at me,
she's mad at me.
403
00:14:59,190 --> 00:15:00,691
It seems like
it's all about me.
404
00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,193
Well, you owe
her an apology.
405
00:15:02,193 --> 00:15:03,528
Like hell I do.
406
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:05,446
Then I'm gonna
do it for you.
407
00:15:05,446 --> 00:15:07,240
No, wait. (stammers)
408
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,407
Connie, wait.
409
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,450
What?
410
00:15:09,450 --> 00:15:11,077
Bring me back a beer.
411
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:14,580
(window opens)
412
00:15:14,580 --> 00:15:15,790
(knocking)
413
00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:16,791
MARY:
Missy?
414
00:15:16,791 --> 00:15:18,751
Go away.
415
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:20,545
I'm not talking to you.
416
00:15:20,545 --> 00:15:22,547
I know you're mad.
417
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:25,591
But I've been thinking about it,
and...
418
00:15:25,591 --> 00:15:29,887
I trust you enough to know
that you will behave yourself.
419
00:15:29,887 --> 00:15:32,557
So, just this once, you can go.
420
00:15:32,557 --> 00:15:34,058
Thanks, Mom. Love you.
421
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,810
(rattling)
422
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:37,770
MARY:
Why won't this open?
423
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:39,313
Sometimes it sticks!
424
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:42,066
I know, on the surface,
425
00:15:42,066 --> 00:15:43,651
Dale seems
like a...
426
00:15:43,651 --> 00:15:44,986
a bully, but,
427
00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:46,404
underneath...
428
00:15:46,404 --> 00:15:47,822
Still a bully.
429
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:50,783
Well, yes,
but a little less of one, right?
430
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,493
Sure.
431
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:54,287
Thank you. You know,
432
00:15:54,287 --> 00:15:55,788
I'm gonna bring him
a peace offering.
433
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:58,249
(Meemaw and June chuckle)
434
00:15:58,249 --> 00:15:59,458
Ain't he cute?
435
00:15:59,458 --> 00:16:01,794
Can you believe that Dale thinks
436
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,797
the only reason you brought him
here is just to piss him off?
437
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,507
That's exactly why
I brought him.
438
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:11,095
What the hell is
the matter with you?
What?
439
00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:13,097
Why would you go out of your way
440
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:15,600
to upset Dale
at your own son's wedding?
441
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,476
I don't know.
He's my ex-husband.
442
00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:18,769
Well, he's my boyfriend.
443
00:16:18,769 --> 00:16:20,146
Hey, that's your problem.
444
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,190
Well, you're starting
to be my problem.
445
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:23,691
Geez, who's the bully now?
446
00:16:24,692 --> 00:16:26,986
(quietly): I knew
I shouldn't have come here.
447
00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:33,618
Your ex-wife is a bitch.
448
00:16:33,618 --> 00:16:36,412
I am so filled with love
for you right now.
449
00:16:36,412 --> 00:16:38,164
(chuckles)
450
00:16:38,164 --> 00:16:41,334
I believe we have to look
to gravity and its magnitude...
451
00:16:41,334 --> 00:16:44,170
ADULT SHELDON:
I was really doing my best
to hold it together.
452
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:47,798
...could be a repulsive force
if you just add negative mass.
453
00:16:47,798 --> 00:16:49,675
I smiled and nodded
454
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:52,178
like my meemaw's
Houston Oilers bobblehead.
455
00:16:52,178 --> 00:16:53,888
And I also discovered a way
456
00:16:53,888 --> 00:16:55,306
that we could
predict the masses
457
00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,016
of all the known particles
458
00:16:57,016 --> 00:17:00,019
using the Egyptian pyramids.
459
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:03,689
In physics, there's a phenomenon
known as supercritical assembly.
460
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:07,318
If you bring enough material
together in one place...
461
00:17:07,318 --> 00:17:09,737
The trick is numerology.
462
00:17:09,737 --> 00:17:11,739
...in the right configuration,
463
00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,991
eventually, it will explode.
464
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:16,160
This is fun. Not a lot of
people I can talk to
465
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,828
scientist-to-scientist.
(boom)
466
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:20,915
We're not talking
scientist-to-scientist.
467
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:23,167
You're not a scientist.
You're just a rich man that
468
00:17:23,167 --> 00:17:25,878
no one will be honest to because
everyone wants your money.
469
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:30,633
(snorts)
Oh, don't listen to him.
470
00:17:30,633 --> 00:17:32,009
I mean, he's just a kid.
471
00:17:32,009 --> 00:17:34,011
Why don't you tell me
a little more
472
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:35,096
about your pyramid
thingy? Huh?
473
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,603
("Footloose"
by Kenny Loggins playing)
474
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:45,940
ADULT SHELDON:
It turned out
Gary did appreciate my honesty.
475
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:48,192
The school got
a generous donation.
476
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:50,361
My, my, my.
477
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:52,905
That is a lot of zeroes.
478
00:17:54,657 --> 00:17:57,868
My father got Oilers tickets
from President Hagemeyer.
479
00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,829
50-yard line and free parking?
480
00:17:59,829 --> 00:18:01,497
Hoo-mama.
481
00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:03,666
♪ I'm turning it loose ♪
♪ Footloose... ♪
482
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:06,752
And I got a brand-new,
state-of-the-art
483
00:18:06,752 --> 00:18:07,962
antistatic lab chair.
484
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:10,715
♪ Please, Louise ♪
485
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:12,550
♪ Everybody cut, everybody cut ♪
486
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,552
It works.
♪ Footloose. ♪
34495
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