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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:15,000 2 00:02:31,851 --> 00:02:32,942 Come disco. 3 00:02:33,118 --> 00:02:35,347 No, no, no. I no disco, I make the fish. 4 00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:37,180 Danny, come on, go disco. 5 00:02:37,355 --> 00:02:40,517 Oh, okay. Disco! 6 00:02:40,992 --> 00:02:44,154 Danny, that looks good. You're gonna be a hit at your bar mitzvah. 7 00:02:45,530 --> 00:02:49,295 So okay, Mr. Big Penachim, I no see you disco. 8 00:02:49,467 --> 00:02:51,297 No, no, no. I making dagim. I no disco. 9 00:02:51,469 --> 00:02:54,437 A real man, he can disco and cooking dagim. 10 00:02:54,606 --> 00:02:55,697 So let's go. 11 00:03:00,010 --> 00:03:01,943 Go, go. 12 00:03:03,480 --> 00:03:05,276 I get the hummus for you. 13 00:03:06,550 --> 00:03:07,846 And for you. 14 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,651 Little for me, eh! 15 00:03:18,694 --> 00:03:19,717 No. 16 00:03:22,832 --> 00:03:23,991 No. 17 00:03:24,166 --> 00:03:26,030 Kapara, what is going on! 18 00:03:26,202 --> 00:03:28,499 Just some bullshit-uchen. 19 00:03:29,538 --> 00:03:30,561 Let's go! 20 00:03:30,740 --> 00:03:34,675 Hey, I'm on vacation here. Can't you see this! 21 00:03:34,844 --> 00:03:38,745 You promised me time off. Get someone else to do it. 22 00:03:42,584 --> 00:03:45,211 Are they gonna hurt him! 23 00:03:45,387 --> 00:03:47,513 No one can hurt the Zohan. 24 00:03:49,858 --> 00:03:54,191 - Bye, Zohan. - Take care, man. 25 00:04:13,247 --> 00:04:15,214 The terrorist known as Phantom... 26 00:04:15,381 --> 00:04:18,508 ...was spotted yesterday at a Hacky Sack tournament in Beirut. 27 00:04:24,423 --> 00:04:27,619 He may be have been trying to bait us by surfacing briefly. 28 00:04:27,793 --> 00:04:31,193 We believe he's being kept in a safe house on the Lebanon border. 29 00:04:31,362 --> 00:04:32,692 How is we lose Phantom! 30 00:04:32,864 --> 00:04:35,263 Didn't I capture Phantom three months ago! 31 00:04:35,433 --> 00:04:37,457 What, you didn't hear about the trade! 32 00:04:37,635 --> 00:04:38,760 What trade! 33 00:04:41,606 --> 00:04:43,539 Zohan, we gave back the Phantom. 34 00:04:43,707 --> 00:04:46,106 No! 35 00:04:46,276 --> 00:04:48,641 What do you mean, we give back the Phantom! 36 00:04:48,812 --> 00:04:50,244 Zohan, relax. 37 00:04:50,414 --> 00:04:53,644 It was a good trade. We got back Etan and David. 38 00:04:53,817 --> 00:04:56,580 That's all we got for a veteran terrorist! 39 00:04:56,753 --> 00:04:59,277 Come on, we got hosed here. 40 00:04:59,456 --> 00:05:01,582 They threw in a spy to be named later. 41 00:05:01,758 --> 00:05:03,884 Come on, Zohan, you have to like that deal. 42 00:05:04,061 --> 00:05:05,823 Maybe they're talking about Ze'ev. 43 00:05:05,995 --> 00:05:08,428 Ze'ev. Come on, he's not even a good spy. 44 00:05:08,597 --> 00:05:11,724 He got caught, for God's sake. He's a stupid. 45 00:05:11,901 --> 00:05:16,098 Our plan is to enter the building from the front with a team of eight men... 46 00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:18,967 ...with an additional 12 men at perimeter positions. 47 00:05:19,141 --> 00:05:22,974 Unfortunately, there is a high probability of collateral damage... 48 00:05:23,145 --> 00:05:26,739 ...including property and loss of life, on both sides. 49 00:05:26,915 --> 00:05:28,472 Okay, here we go. 50 00:05:28,650 --> 00:05:29,843 Excuse me! 51 00:05:30,018 --> 00:05:33,316 Come on, is it not safer to send one man into building... 52 00:05:33,488 --> 00:05:35,751 ...with minimal coverage to take out the target... 53 00:05:35,924 --> 00:05:38,118 ...instead of blowing up half the neighborhood! 54 00:05:38,293 --> 00:05:39,657 Well, who would do that! 55 00:05:39,828 --> 00:05:41,192 Oh, "who would do that!" 56 00:05:41,363 --> 00:05:43,660 You know you were going to ask the Zohan. 57 00:05:43,832 --> 00:05:45,025 Zohan, why you say this! 58 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,362 I just laid out an entire plan which didn't rely on you. 59 00:05:48,535 --> 00:05:50,695 Come on, Yaron, you're setting me up. 60 00:05:50,871 --> 00:05:54,636 All this talk of civilian casualties, then of course I end up doing it. 61 00:05:54,808 --> 00:05:57,935 - But I'm not even asking you to do it. - All right, I'll do it. 62 00:05:58,112 --> 00:06:01,877 Give me Avi and Koby as watch, I'll get it done without the mess. 63 00:06:02,049 --> 00:06:04,676 Well, thank you. You didn't have to. 64 00:06:04,852 --> 00:06:07,217 Oh, I didn't have to, bullschlassah. 65 00:06:08,055 --> 00:06:09,544 Have some Fizzy Bubblech. 66 00:06:10,590 --> 00:06:13,990 "Kiwi watermelon"! Yeah, is good. 67 00:06:56,767 --> 00:06:59,394 "Avalon." 68 00:07:18,154 --> 00:07:19,950 Chunky cuts. 69 00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:23,449 Zohan, what are you doing! The girls are here. 70 00:07:23,626 --> 00:07:25,456 I know, I was watching television. 71 00:07:25,628 --> 00:07:28,425 Well, if you want to have fun with us, we're right next door. 72 00:07:28,598 --> 00:07:31,293 - Good with the sticky, you should do it. - No, no, no. 73 00:07:31,468 --> 00:07:34,300 I am going to dinner with my parents. Just leave me alone. 74 00:07:34,471 --> 00:07:37,769 - All right, all right. - It is all right! 75 00:07:39,074 --> 00:07:40,768 You don't giggle at the Zohan. 76 00:07:40,943 --> 00:07:43,706 You hear me! No giggling at the Zohan. 77 00:07:43,879 --> 00:07:46,278 You never giggle at the Zohan. 78 00:07:51,153 --> 00:07:52,449 What's the matter, tatele? 79 00:07:52,621 --> 00:07:55,453 You haven't touched your baba ganoush. 80 00:07:57,892 --> 00:08:00,655 What would you think if I tell you... 81 00:08:00,828 --> 00:08:03,125 ...I want to leaving the army, start a new life! 82 00:08:03,598 --> 00:08:08,660 Why would you do that! You are good at it. It's steady pay. 83 00:08:08,836 --> 00:08:10,826 You can't leave, you're one of their best. 84 00:08:11,005 --> 00:08:13,131 Besides, you are too old to take a risk. 85 00:08:13,307 --> 00:08:16,742 Stay in the army, play it safe. 86 00:08:16,911 --> 00:08:19,606 There's other things I can do besides war. 87 00:08:19,779 --> 00:08:21,245 You don't war. 88 00:08:21,414 --> 00:08:24,007 - I was in the real war. - I know, I know the story. 89 00:08:24,184 --> 00:08:26,344 1967. 90 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:30,353 We were surrounded on all sides, outnumbered. 91 00:08:30,524 --> 00:08:32,753 - And in six days, we... - And in six days, we won. 92 00:08:32,926 --> 00:08:35,553 You won. I'm sorry, I don't have a big, fancy war... 93 00:08:35,729 --> 00:08:37,320 ...that lasted all of six days... 94 00:08:37,497 --> 00:08:42,627 Six days and five hours. Your generation likes to forget that. 95 00:08:44,837 --> 00:08:48,397 Dad, I've done so much for the country. When does it end! 96 00:08:48,574 --> 00:08:52,009 They've been fighting for 2000 years. It can't be much longer. 97 00:08:53,345 --> 00:08:56,802 All of my friends served the minimum three years. 98 00:08:56,982 --> 00:08:59,506 Why can't I move on! Do something else. 99 00:08:59,685 --> 00:09:02,050 Something more creative. 100 00:09:02,221 --> 00:09:03,881 Creative, what! 101 00:09:04,055 --> 00:09:06,887 You've caught so many terrorists, it's an art. 102 00:09:07,058 --> 00:09:09,491 You're like Rembrandt with a grenade. 103 00:09:09,661 --> 00:09:10,718 What will you do! 104 00:09:12,463 --> 00:09:14,123 Maybe go to America. 105 00:09:14,299 --> 00:09:17,165 What, and haggle over stereo equipment! 106 00:09:17,335 --> 00:09:19,131 Wait a minute, Ya'acov. 107 00:09:19,304 --> 00:09:21,965 Uncle Levi will set you up at electronic store. 108 00:09:22,140 --> 00:09:25,666 You make money, sow your creative oats, you come back. 109 00:09:25,842 --> 00:09:28,571 No, I don't want to do electronics store. 110 00:09:29,212 --> 00:09:30,838 Then how will you make money! 111 00:09:32,449 --> 00:09:33,847 I don't want to say. 112 00:09:34,017 --> 00:09:38,180 Zohan, if you can't tell your parents, who can you tell! 113 00:09:38,355 --> 00:09:40,652 Come, Zohanele. 114 00:09:44,194 --> 00:09:47,594 I want to cut... 115 00:09:47,763 --> 00:09:50,731 ...and style hair. 116 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,239 You... You fagala? 117 00:10:00,409 --> 00:10:02,535 He's fag... Faga... 118 00:10:06,015 --> 00:10:09,142 I like hair. It's pleasant, it's peaceful, no one gets hurt. 119 00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:13,946 Well, you're only digging that fagala hole deeper and deeper. 120 00:10:15,290 --> 00:10:19,521 Hello, down there! Hello, in the fagala hole. 121 00:10:20,562 --> 00:10:22,222 Maybe he wants Vaseline. 122 00:10:24,065 --> 00:10:26,760 Yes, it's so funny. 123 00:10:54,827 --> 00:11:01,823 I just want to make people silky smooth. 124 00:11:11,344 --> 00:11:14,574 You know the Phantom will try to run, so be ready for this. 125 00:11:14,746 --> 00:11:16,406 - Zohan, now! - So let's go. 126 00:11:34,565 --> 00:11:35,758 The Zohan. 127 00:11:45,543 --> 00:11:47,009 Freeze! 128 00:11:58,822 --> 00:12:04,157 I get it, I get it, you guys don't like our country. 129 00:12:11,367 --> 00:12:12,628 So we are the bad ones. 130 00:12:12,802 --> 00:12:15,964 I'd love to sit and discuss this with you, but I'm short on time. 131 00:12:16,139 --> 00:12:18,231 I'm just saying. It's not so cut-and-dry. 132 00:12:20,642 --> 00:12:22,836 We settled here for hundreds of years! 133 00:12:23,011 --> 00:12:24,170 Good point. 134 00:12:24,346 --> 00:12:27,803 None of my ancestors ever stepped foot in this land. No, you're right. 135 00:12:27,983 --> 00:12:29,916 Hey, don't walk away! 136 00:12:31,019 --> 00:12:33,486 Come out, come out, wherever you are. 137 00:12:33,655 --> 00:12:35,588 Hello, jackass. 138 00:12:38,593 --> 00:12:42,528 You think you can oppress my people, landgrabber! 139 00:12:43,097 --> 00:12:46,327 But I will never disappear. 140 00:12:46,501 --> 00:12:49,560 No one can catch Phantom! 141 00:12:57,378 --> 00:12:58,776 So let's go. 142 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:16,459 Very good. 143 00:13:47,258 --> 00:13:49,157 Sorry. It's for the cause. 144 00:14:03,007 --> 00:14:04,906 Zohan. 145 00:14:08,612 --> 00:14:11,774 Zohan, bring it. 146 00:14:27,129 --> 00:14:28,925 Why you do this! I feel no pain. 147 00:14:29,098 --> 00:14:32,464 No, no, no. I feel no pain. 148 00:14:32,635 --> 00:14:36,092 - I feel no pain. This is too much... - No, no, no. I feel no pain. 149 00:14:36,272 --> 00:14:37,829 I have told you in other fights. 150 00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:40,497 No, no, no. I kill you right now. 151 00:14:45,848 --> 00:14:47,815 Look, look, look. 152 00:14:51,653 --> 00:14:55,088 The piranha, it looks very painful for you. 153 00:14:55,257 --> 00:14:57,019 Is good, is good. 154 00:14:57,192 --> 00:14:59,284 Is very nice. Yes, yes. 155 00:14:59,461 --> 00:15:01,655 Fizzy Bubblech for me. 156 00:15:06,434 --> 00:15:07,798 You like what you see! 157 00:15:11,005 --> 00:15:12,130 Time to die. 158 00:15:12,306 --> 00:15:13,829 So let's go. 159 00:15:23,684 --> 00:15:26,208 Okay, game over. 160 00:15:45,638 --> 00:15:47,070 Yeah! 161 00:15:48,942 --> 00:15:50,431 I kill! 162 00:15:50,977 --> 00:15:53,911 I kill the Zohan! 163 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:55,737 Zohan is dead. 164 00:15:59,584 --> 00:16:01,710 The Phantom! 165 00:16:33,517 --> 00:16:36,644 Cutting the hair, this makes something beautiful. 166 00:16:36,820 --> 00:16:38,810 Instead of shooting it. 167 00:16:38,989 --> 00:16:41,081 That's why I had to fake to die. 168 00:16:41,257 --> 00:16:44,885 I could have captured Phantom again, but for what! They trade him. 169 00:16:45,829 --> 00:16:49,127 I love my country, but the fighting, it never ends. 170 00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:52,567 It's like Mr. Scrappy, you bite Coco. 171 00:16:52,736 --> 00:16:54,134 Coco, you bite him back. 172 00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:58,467 Soon you are both having worms, eating your own poopech... 173 00:17:02,511 --> 00:17:03,704 I understand. The pills. 174 00:17:03,879 --> 00:17:06,438 Your parents think they know what's best for you. 175 00:17:06,615 --> 00:17:08,275 Sleep. 176 00:17:15,557 --> 00:17:18,354 It's all about not getting recognized. 177 00:17:18,527 --> 00:17:20,460 I know how great I looked in the beard... 178 00:17:20,628 --> 00:17:23,460 but I'll make this work for me, you'll see. 179 00:17:37,879 --> 00:17:41,143 Rise and shine, guys. Good morning. 180 00:17:41,782 --> 00:17:43,373 Is nice, huh! 181 00:17:43,550 --> 00:17:44,982 It's the Avalon. 182 00:17:45,152 --> 00:17:49,315 It says I care about the way I look, but I'm still approachable. 183 00:17:51,058 --> 00:17:52,854 Oh, you like this! 184 00:17:53,026 --> 00:17:56,119 Who wants to go next, guys! Who wants to look silky smooth! 185 00:17:56,296 --> 00:17:58,354 Yes. Yes. 186 00:18:02,668 --> 00:18:05,693 Oh, where are my two little babies! Oh, come on. 187 00:18:05,871 --> 00:18:08,998 Come on out, Scrappy, come on out. Come to Mama, Mr. Coco. 188 00:18:10,109 --> 00:18:13,703 Mr. Scrappy. Coco. What happened! 189 00:18:13,879 --> 00:18:15,903 Who gave you permission to do this, huh! 190 00:18:16,082 --> 00:18:17,673 Who did! Answer me. 191 00:18:17,850 --> 00:18:19,908 Scrappy, was it you! It was you, wasn't it! 192 00:18:20,086 --> 00:18:21,814 You're always the instigator. 193 00:18:21,987 --> 00:18:26,855 Bad dog. You are a very bad dog. Never again are you gonna travel. 194 00:18:33,731 --> 00:18:36,494 Take me to the Paul Mitchell hair salon. 195 00:18:37,035 --> 00:18:39,434 - First time in New York! - Yes, my friend. 196 00:18:39,838 --> 00:18:41,361 So, what brings you here! 197 00:18:41,539 --> 00:18:43,005 I have a dream. 198 00:18:43,675 --> 00:18:45,073 I had a dream too. 199 00:18:45,243 --> 00:18:46,573 What dream you have! 200 00:18:46,743 --> 00:18:48,573 My dream was to come to America... 201 00:18:48,745 --> 00:18:51,770 ...and make enough money to send for me brothers and sisters... 202 00:18:51,949 --> 00:18:54,212 ...so that we all could enjoy freedom together. 203 00:18:54,384 --> 00:18:56,408 - This is good dream. - Oh, yes, it is. 204 00:18:56,587 --> 00:18:58,781 - Is dream come true! - No, man. 205 00:18:58,956 --> 00:19:01,389 Me brothers and sisters were hacked to death. 206 00:19:01,558 --> 00:19:05,118 But I love the Chinese food here. It's incredible. 207 00:20:15,195 --> 00:20:18,755 - Hey, you forgot these. - Those are for you, my friend. 208 00:20:27,774 --> 00:20:31,436 Good morning for you. I am here to meet Mr. Paul Mitchell. 209 00:20:31,611 --> 00:20:32,702 And who are you! 210 00:20:34,179 --> 00:20:38,137 Scrappy Coco. I am here to take a job from him. 211 00:20:38,317 --> 00:20:39,715 He isn't in right now. 212 00:20:39,885 --> 00:20:41,613 That's good. So I will wait, then. 213 00:20:45,157 --> 00:20:48,216 You know what! I'll take one Fizzy Bubblech, a raspberry. 214 00:20:48,627 --> 00:20:51,595 You know, he actually doesn't come in too often. 215 00:20:51,763 --> 00:20:54,458 Yes, just tell him I am perfect for this, so let's go. 216 00:20:54,633 --> 00:20:56,759 - I am the best. - The best at what! 217 00:20:56,934 --> 00:21:00,835 All of this. The cutting, the styling, the making it silky smooth. 218 00:21:01,005 --> 00:21:02,665 I wanna know who cuts your hair. 219 00:21:03,207 --> 00:21:04,537 Oh, you like this, eh! 220 00:21:04,709 --> 00:21:07,643 This is the Avalon, straight from the Paul Mitchell book. 221 00:21:07,812 --> 00:21:11,907 I haven't seen that style since Luke married Laura. 222 00:21:12,717 --> 00:21:14,843 Sister, are you this Laura! 223 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:22,155 You tell Paul Mitchell, Scrappy Coco was here to see him. 224 00:21:23,260 --> 00:21:26,353 If I find out he was here... 225 00:21:26,529 --> 00:21:29,361 ...or you are keeping him hidden from me... 226 00:21:29,532 --> 00:21:31,362 ...I will destroy you. 227 00:21:31,534 --> 00:21:33,763 Believe me this. 228 00:22:29,287 --> 00:22:31,948 What the hell was this, champ! I'm not paying for that! 229 00:22:32,123 --> 00:22:34,420 This asshole cut me off, made me swerve into you! 230 00:22:34,592 --> 00:22:37,424 With all due respect, I was in the bicycle lane. 231 00:22:37,595 --> 00:22:39,994 You came like a madman. Be glad nobody was hurt. 232 00:22:40,165 --> 00:22:43,463 I mean, somebody could've died. I mean, you came... 233 00:22:44,735 --> 00:22:47,225 Okay, real mature, sir. Real mature. 234 00:22:47,404 --> 00:22:50,065 You do not want to be throwing bicycles. 235 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:52,571 Look, stay out of my business, Mustafa. 236 00:22:52,743 --> 00:22:55,905 "Mustafa"! This is not my name. Who tells you this is my name! 237 00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,206 Whatever. Salami, bologna, apple sauce. 238 00:22:58,382 --> 00:22:59,405 Apple who! 239 00:22:59,583 --> 00:23:02,016 My friend, if I were you, I would change the tone. 240 00:23:02,186 --> 00:23:03,311 Avoid the pain. 241 00:23:03,487 --> 00:23:06,819 Listen, go back to your goddamned pretzel stand. We got it... 242 00:23:08,191 --> 00:23:10,454 - Look what I've got. It's right here. - Please! 243 00:23:10,626 --> 00:23:12,092 - I've got it. - Please, let me go. 244 00:23:12,261 --> 00:23:16,026 I never work at pretzel stand. You like to insult people! 245 00:23:17,533 --> 00:23:19,830 Was that your feet! 246 00:23:20,002 --> 00:23:21,764 Yes, it's the feet. The feet uppercut. 247 00:23:23,206 --> 00:23:24,467 Here comes the double foot. 248 00:23:25,341 --> 00:23:26,807 This is good. 249 00:23:26,975 --> 00:23:29,943 Smell it, smell it, smell it. Now take it. 250 00:23:30,112 --> 00:23:32,170 - That's for you. - All right, let me go! 251 00:23:32,347 --> 00:23:34,371 You said you wanted pretzel! 252 00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:38,608 Okay, I'm good. 253 00:23:38,787 --> 00:23:40,219 Beautiful. 254 00:23:40,389 --> 00:23:41,855 You want some chickens! 255 00:23:42,023 --> 00:23:43,956 No, no, no. I fix for you. 256 00:23:50,264 --> 00:23:51,560 It's all b'seder. 257 00:23:51,732 --> 00:23:53,824 What are you, bionic! 258 00:23:54,001 --> 00:23:56,833 No, no, no. I only like the girls. 259 00:23:58,005 --> 00:24:00,063 Thanks, anyways. 260 00:24:04,545 --> 00:24:07,138 This is ridiculous traffic. 261 00:24:07,314 --> 00:24:10,680 Anyway, George insisted we have the party. 262 00:24:10,850 --> 00:24:13,818 - I always get midnight shift. - Could you keep it down, please! 263 00:24:13,987 --> 00:24:16,318 I no sleep, I no see World Series Poker. 264 00:24:16,489 --> 00:24:18,649 Are you even watching the road! 265 00:24:18,825 --> 00:24:22,726 Be nice. He could be a terrorist. 266 00:24:22,896 --> 00:24:27,389 - Why Hamdi no get no midnight! - Could you at least change the station! 267 00:24:32,805 --> 00:24:34,999 - Hey, that was amazing. - Oh, yes. 268 00:24:35,174 --> 00:24:36,765 Where are you from, anyway! 269 00:24:36,942 --> 00:24:39,102 Where am I from! 270 00:24:39,278 --> 00:24:40,437 Australia. 271 00:24:40,612 --> 00:24:42,670 Really! Because you sound Middle Eastern. 272 00:24:42,848 --> 00:24:44,644 No, no, no. Similar accents. 273 00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:47,546 - Kangaroo. You see! - Sure. 274 00:24:49,621 --> 00:24:51,747 This is ridiculous. We're getting out. 275 00:24:51,924 --> 00:24:54,756 - Come on, dear. - I've been working longer than Hamdi. 276 00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:58,992 - You want me to get you home! - No, I'll grab a cab. 277 00:24:59,163 --> 00:25:01,096 You've done enough. That was crazy. 278 00:25:01,265 --> 00:25:03,357 Whose lockzie do I have to schluck? 279 00:25:05,036 --> 00:25:07,333 Oh, you know you're boning me. I don't know that. 280 00:25:09,807 --> 00:25:10,864 It's you. 281 00:25:12,910 --> 00:25:14,900 - What is happening! - What's happening! 282 00:25:15,078 --> 00:25:16,408 It's bullshaklaga. 283 00:25:16,580 --> 00:25:17,876 - We have to go. - Go where! 284 00:25:18,048 --> 00:25:19,810 - I'll run you. - What are you doing! 285 00:25:19,983 --> 00:25:22,075 This is legal! 286 00:25:26,323 --> 00:25:29,758 Scrappy, have another kneidlach. Come on. 287 00:25:29,926 --> 00:25:31,392 You're very nice, Mrs. Klayman. 288 00:25:31,561 --> 00:25:35,326 It reminds me of my mother's cooking in Australia. 289 00:25:35,499 --> 00:25:38,990 Really! It's funny, you don't sound Australian. 290 00:25:39,168 --> 00:25:42,330 Yes, no, no, no. This is because I am half Australian... 291 00:25:42,505 --> 00:25:44,995 ...half Mount Everest. 292 00:25:45,174 --> 00:25:47,471 So this is what you're hearing. 293 00:25:48,577 --> 00:25:51,704 Well, Australia, it must be really nice there... 294 00:25:51,881 --> 00:25:53,939 ...since they got rid of the apartheid. 295 00:25:54,116 --> 00:25:56,140 Oh, yes, the weather is much cooler. 296 00:25:57,785 --> 00:26:01,015 So, Scrappy, I understand you cut hair. 297 00:26:01,789 --> 00:26:04,018 I will be working with Mr. Paul Mitchell... 298 00:26:04,192 --> 00:26:06,659 ...as soon as I find out where they are hiding him. 299 00:26:06,828 --> 00:26:09,660 Oh, Mom, Scrappy doesn't have a place to stay yet. 300 00:26:09,831 --> 00:26:10,888 - Really! - Not yet. 301 00:26:11,065 --> 00:26:13,430 Well, actually, there's a nice one-bedroom... 302 00:26:13,601 --> 00:26:16,000 ...that just opened up upstairs. 303 00:26:16,170 --> 00:26:18,763 Nice light, not huge. 304 00:26:18,940 --> 00:26:20,998 And they redid the kitchen very well. 305 00:26:21,842 --> 00:26:24,207 - This could be good. - Could be good. 306 00:26:25,679 --> 00:26:27,509 Could be good. 307 00:26:37,124 --> 00:26:39,591 Hey, Mom, do you know where the detergent is! 308 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,920 - That's very good. - Oh, my God! 309 00:26:42,094 --> 00:26:43,355 What! What's the matter! 310 00:26:43,563 --> 00:26:45,757 What's the matter! That's my mom. 311 00:26:45,932 --> 00:26:48,024 - It's okay, Michael. - I know it's your mother. 312 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:49,188 She's very beautiful. 313 00:26:49,368 --> 00:26:51,335 Michael, I haven't made sticky in two days. 314 00:26:51,504 --> 00:26:54,495 - What do you want from me! - Couldn't you wait till I was asleep! 315 00:26:54,674 --> 00:26:56,436 - Or dead! - No, Michael. 316 00:26:56,609 --> 00:26:58,303 You do... What's he doing now! 317 00:26:58,477 --> 00:27:00,944 Why'd that happen! Why'd that happen! 318 00:27:01,113 --> 00:27:02,602 It's okay. Let me talk to him. 319 00:27:02,781 --> 00:27:04,441 Oh, I can't get up. 320 00:27:04,616 --> 00:27:07,311 No, no. You'll feel your legs again in two hours. 321 00:27:08,987 --> 00:27:10,283 Michael. 322 00:27:10,455 --> 00:27:13,287 Come on, this is nothing to feel bad about. 323 00:27:13,458 --> 00:27:15,550 Me sexing your mother. 324 00:27:15,727 --> 00:27:18,695 It's beautiful. It's natural. 325 00:27:18,863 --> 00:27:21,797 No, I didn't bring you home to do it with my mother. 326 00:27:21,967 --> 00:27:24,696 Why not, huh! You don't want her to be happy! 327 00:27:24,868 --> 00:27:27,267 Did you see her! Did you look at her! 328 00:27:27,438 --> 00:27:29,769 I don't think I can ever look at her again. 329 00:27:29,940 --> 00:27:33,602 Michael, her face during the big bang-boom! 330 00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:34,936 You did not see! 331 00:27:35,112 --> 00:27:36,738 She was glowing. 332 00:27:36,914 --> 00:27:38,972 Patches. What are you...! 333 00:27:39,149 --> 00:27:40,581 Michael, come on. 334 00:27:40,751 --> 00:27:42,741 They'll be plenty of time for you and me. 335 00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:45,251 Tonight, I take you to disco, huh! How's this! 336 00:27:45,422 --> 00:27:47,412 No, why would I wanna go to a disco tonight! 337 00:27:48,491 --> 00:27:50,651 Michael, you should go. It'd be fun! 338 00:27:50,827 --> 00:27:52,657 You could use a little stank. 339 00:27:52,829 --> 00:27:55,888 Yes, you need your penachim to take a swim. 340 00:27:56,065 --> 00:27:58,760 Yeah, a little chicken of the sea. It wouldn't hurt. 341 00:27:58,935 --> 00:28:02,199 Disco, disco. Let's do this, Michael. Yes or no! 342 00:28:02,372 --> 00:28:03,668 Come on, you get to disco. 343 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:06,171 - All right, fine, I'll go to the disco. - Okay. 344 00:28:06,342 --> 00:28:09,037 I do your mother one more time, and then we go. 345 00:28:09,211 --> 00:28:11,144 - Wha...! - Seconds already! 346 00:28:11,313 --> 00:28:13,007 Oh, yes. 347 00:28:18,453 --> 00:28:21,148 Hey. Look at this. 348 00:28:21,323 --> 00:28:24,519 This is what you need, man, to let off a little steam, huh! 349 00:28:24,693 --> 00:28:28,389 How many times a day do you make sticky! Two! Five! Twelve! 350 00:28:28,563 --> 00:28:31,793 How many times a day! I've had sex once in my life. 351 00:28:31,966 --> 00:28:34,661 It was at tennis camp. It was awful. 352 00:28:34,835 --> 00:28:38,099 You're too picky, Michael. Maybe that's the problem. 353 00:28:38,272 --> 00:28:41,399 Every weed in the desert is still a flower. 354 00:28:41,909 --> 00:28:44,706 Look at this. This a big one, eh! 355 00:28:44,879 --> 00:28:49,281 But look at the tits. These will bounce nice for you. 356 00:28:49,450 --> 00:28:52,885 Your mother, she has huge poopeh. 357 00:28:53,053 --> 00:28:55,612 I mean, very wide. 358 00:28:55,789 --> 00:29:01,351 But what I see are two big, strong legs wrapped around my head, squeezing. 359 00:29:01,528 --> 00:29:03,222 So who wants to get some poontachen? 360 00:29:05,165 --> 00:29:08,827 - I wanna get some poontachen? - Well, let's get some. Yes. 361 00:29:13,405 --> 00:29:15,338 It's good for you. Nice spinning. 362 00:29:18,143 --> 00:29:20,906 This is what I'm talking about. You play this. 363 00:29:21,080 --> 00:29:23,070 - I ain't playing this corny shit. - No, no. 364 00:29:23,248 --> 00:29:25,408 I need to set the mood for my friend. 365 00:29:25,584 --> 00:29:27,676 Get out, you Daisy Duke-wearing motherf... 366 00:29:38,229 --> 00:29:40,219 - Disco, disco. - Good, good! 367 00:29:40,398 --> 00:29:42,092 - Disco, disco. - Good, good! 368 00:29:55,612 --> 00:29:57,101 Yes, hello. Hello. 369 00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:00,180 Hey, Zohan. 370 00:30:00,350 --> 00:30:01,873 Who you looking for! 371 00:30:02,052 --> 00:30:04,849 It's okay, no one can hear me in disco, Zohan. 372 00:30:05,021 --> 00:30:07,215 Can you believe the poontachat in this place! 373 00:30:07,390 --> 00:30:10,950 I'm not Zohan. My name is Scrappy Coco, my friend. 374 00:30:11,128 --> 00:30:14,096 What! Of course you are Zohan Dvir. 375 00:30:14,264 --> 00:30:17,664 They all think you dead in Israel. I'm not going to tell. 376 00:30:17,833 --> 00:30:20,528 Tell what! I don't know what you're talking about. 377 00:30:20,703 --> 00:30:24,502 Zohan, it's okay. Don't worry, I'm a huge fan. 378 00:30:24,673 --> 00:30:28,005 The way you took out Abdullah Meda in '94. 379 00:30:28,177 --> 00:30:32,909 And when you made Melami Benazir eat his own shit in '97. 380 00:30:33,082 --> 00:30:35,481 I can't believe I'm meeting you, man. 381 00:30:35,651 --> 00:30:37,675 So, what the fachma are you doing here! 382 00:30:37,853 --> 00:30:39,251 Come with me. 383 00:30:40,288 --> 00:30:42,414 Look, I couldn't take all the fighting anymore. 384 00:30:42,590 --> 00:30:44,989 - What's it all for! - Are you crazy! 385 00:30:45,160 --> 00:30:47,593 If I could blow a terrorist inside out like you... 386 00:30:47,762 --> 00:30:49,956 ...this is all I would do. I'd never sleep. 387 00:30:50,131 --> 00:30:52,826 - This is exaggeration. - No, it's not. 388 00:30:53,001 --> 00:30:57,266 You made Palami Habdallah's poodle sit on a live grenade. 389 00:30:57,438 --> 00:31:00,668 - You gotta show me how you did that. - I don't remember. I was young. 390 00:31:00,841 --> 00:31:03,502 So tell me the truth. Why are you in America! 391 00:31:04,711 --> 00:31:05,734 I no want to tell you. 392 00:31:06,213 --> 00:31:08,077 What! What! Come on. 393 00:31:08,248 --> 00:31:13,014 You are the best, Zohan. Whatever you say is good. 394 00:31:16,490 --> 00:31:19,356 I want to be hairdresser. 395 00:31:20,227 --> 00:31:21,955 You a fagala? 396 00:31:22,128 --> 00:31:23,617 I can't believe it. 397 00:31:23,796 --> 00:31:27,526 A great warrior, but also a fagala with the penachim. 398 00:31:27,700 --> 00:31:30,668 No, no, no. I like hair. 399 00:31:30,837 --> 00:31:33,430 Come on, man, I get you real job. 400 00:31:33,606 --> 00:31:36,335 You come by my shop tomorrow. 401 00:31:36,509 --> 00:31:38,703 Israeli electronics. Are you crazy! 402 00:31:38,878 --> 00:31:42,608 - Everyone will recognize me. - No, you don't look like same Zohan. 403 00:31:42,782 --> 00:31:44,078 You have silly haircut now. 404 00:31:44,249 --> 00:31:46,512 - I have what haircut! - What! 405 00:31:46,685 --> 00:31:48,914 - You say I look silly! - No, no. Who said this! 406 00:31:49,087 --> 00:31:51,247 - You said this. - No, no. Nobody say nothing. 407 00:31:52,991 --> 00:31:54,014 I don't need your job. 408 00:31:54,192 --> 00:31:58,423 I get my own job on my own at a big salon. You will see. 409 00:32:00,699 --> 00:32:02,632 You ever cut a sister's hair before! 410 00:32:02,801 --> 00:32:06,702 Yes. Sister, brother, grandma, grandpa, the whole family. 411 00:32:06,871 --> 00:32:08,064 I'm good at this. 412 00:32:08,239 --> 00:32:10,297 Have you ever worked with dreads before! 413 00:32:14,612 --> 00:32:15,669 This is what you do. 414 00:32:15,846 --> 00:32:18,109 No more. This creature slayed. 415 00:32:18,282 --> 00:32:22,240 It's not a problem. Okay, he's got me. He's got me. He's got me. Okay. 416 00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:25,444 Okay. So we blind him in the eyes. We got you. 417 00:32:25,623 --> 00:32:27,647 And we finish him. 418 00:32:27,824 --> 00:32:31,759 You back away, I take hold of him. Go! Go! Go out! Go now! 419 00:32:31,928 --> 00:32:33,485 Go! 420 00:32:35,498 --> 00:32:38,955 This is hair. This is hair. 421 00:32:39,135 --> 00:32:42,262 Oh, okay. The joke's on me, eh! 422 00:32:44,107 --> 00:32:47,667 A big part of our job here is making this a fun experience. 423 00:32:47,844 --> 00:32:49,071 Of course, of course. 424 00:32:49,244 --> 00:32:52,974 For a lot of kids, this is their first cut, and it can be very frightening. 425 00:32:53,148 --> 00:32:56,310 - I can imagine. - I don't want a haircut. 426 00:32:56,485 --> 00:32:58,076 Get away from me. 427 00:32:58,253 --> 00:33:00,482 Let me go. 428 00:33:00,656 --> 00:33:04,022 Young man, look what I found here. 429 00:33:04,192 --> 00:33:06,284 A nice balloon. 430 00:33:06,461 --> 00:33:08,690 Do you want it! It's right here. 431 00:33:09,464 --> 00:33:11,055 You shouldn't jump around... 432 00:33:11,232 --> 00:33:13,927 ...when this nice woman's holding a sharp pair of scissors. 433 00:33:14,435 --> 00:33:18,495 If you move, she could slip and slice your jugular vein on accident. 434 00:33:19,006 --> 00:33:21,269 There's no way to stitch the jugular. 435 00:33:21,442 --> 00:33:24,433 All of your blood will be on the floor in four minutes. 436 00:33:24,879 --> 00:33:28,473 I've seen this. I've done this. You don't want this. 437 00:33:39,526 --> 00:33:43,484 Well, then, at least it's a good time to shave his neck. I would get him quick. 438 00:33:47,500 --> 00:33:50,263 When I was your age I already killed seven men. 439 00:33:50,437 --> 00:33:52,904 Maybe you should grow up. 440 00:34:19,630 --> 00:34:22,393 I promise you you won't regret. 441 00:34:22,567 --> 00:34:24,796 And come back. 442 00:34:24,969 --> 00:34:28,028 "Fujigawa"! I don't know that brand. It really isn't... 443 00:34:28,206 --> 00:34:30,833 It's not really Fujigawa. It's Sony guts. 444 00:34:31,009 --> 00:34:34,944 - Wouldn't it be better with the Sony... - Oh, no, no, no. This is what you want. 445 00:34:35,113 --> 00:34:38,206 - Four-hundred fifty. - But the ad says "Sony," and "300." 446 00:34:38,382 --> 00:34:42,579 No, no, no. What you going to believe, me or the ad! Four-fifty. 447 00:34:44,021 --> 00:34:46,921 Hello, Going Out of Business. Can I help you! 448 00:34:47,090 --> 00:34:49,216 Sony, yes. Three hundred. 449 00:34:49,393 --> 00:34:51,360 Come in, yes. Very good, very good. 450 00:34:54,231 --> 00:34:56,664 Hi. I represent the new owner of this building. 451 00:34:56,833 --> 00:34:59,426 Good for you. Want a birthday cake! What do you want! 452 00:34:59,602 --> 00:35:00,761 Yamaha is very good. 453 00:35:00,936 --> 00:35:03,096 Did you receive our letter regarding your rent! 454 00:35:03,272 --> 00:35:06,206 - This I don't know. - It's being raised to 20,000 a month. 455 00:35:06,375 --> 00:35:07,705 No, no, no. This is too much. 456 00:35:07,877 --> 00:35:09,901 Eighty-five hundred is all we'll give you. 457 00:35:10,079 --> 00:35:13,138 - This isn't negotiable. We can get... - Ten thousand, that's all. 458 00:35:13,315 --> 00:35:14,474 We both go home happy. 459 00:35:14,650 --> 00:35:17,345 - I'm sorry. We can't settle for less. - Okay, no deal. 460 00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:19,316 You come back when you want to deal. 461 00:35:19,487 --> 00:35:21,078 - Sir, you don't understand. - Go. 462 00:35:21,256 --> 00:35:24,656 What you still here for! You like me! I have girlfriend. Go. 463 00:35:24,826 --> 00:35:26,952 Thank you very much. 464 00:35:30,198 --> 00:35:33,655 Hey, look who's here. 465 00:35:33,835 --> 00:35:35,096 Come on, not so loud. 466 00:35:35,270 --> 00:35:38,796 Don't worry, Zohan. I tell you, they don't recognize you. 467 00:35:38,973 --> 00:35:42,874 Yosi. This is good man. This Chocolat� Coco. 468 00:35:43,043 --> 00:35:45,738 - Scrappy Coco. - Scrappy Coco. 469 00:35:45,913 --> 00:35:47,004 Cooking Who-co! 470 00:35:47,881 --> 00:35:49,142 Yes, yes. 471 00:35:49,316 --> 00:35:50,839 So you're going out of business! 472 00:35:51,018 --> 00:35:54,180 No, no, no, no. Is just a sign. Is good for business. 473 00:35:54,788 --> 00:35:58,917 Yeah, so you look me up, man. That's cool. 474 00:35:59,093 --> 00:36:01,458 I come for job. 475 00:36:02,762 --> 00:36:06,026 Job. So you not big hairstyle! 476 00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:13,128 It's not really happening for me so far. 477 00:36:13,306 --> 00:36:16,138 So I am here. So let's go. 478 00:36:18,778 --> 00:36:21,041 No. No job. 479 00:36:21,214 --> 00:36:23,306 What do you mean! You tell me to come here. 480 00:36:23,483 --> 00:36:26,815 I can no let you do this. You want to be hair homo. 481 00:36:26,985 --> 00:36:29,714 No, so I do this for now. It's all yofi tofi. 482 00:36:29,888 --> 00:36:31,878 Is no now. 483 00:36:32,491 --> 00:36:38,224 Once you start in electronics store, you never get out. 484 00:36:39,865 --> 00:36:42,025 Look at Ephraim. You see! 485 00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,463 I don't see nothing wrong with that. It's perfect. 486 00:36:44,636 --> 00:36:46,796 Ephraim came to America... 487 00:36:47,338 --> 00:36:50,738 ...to be racing car driver. 488 00:36:51,575 --> 00:36:53,474 But he let slip away. 489 00:36:53,644 --> 00:36:56,635 I can hear it. Look. Check your ear. 490 00:36:56,814 --> 00:37:01,978 Pinchas wanted to be the next Bill Cosby. 491 00:37:02,153 --> 00:37:05,519 No. Is resistant, no proof. You don't understand! 492 00:37:06,223 --> 00:37:10,158 But the store kept pulling him back. 493 00:37:10,326 --> 00:37:11,917 Maybe you swimming with the watch. 494 00:37:12,095 --> 00:37:13,652 - I'm not swimming... - Is resistant. 495 00:37:15,231 --> 00:37:19,997 Yosi wanted to be a hand model. 496 00:37:20,170 --> 00:37:23,104 What, you don't like this! Look at this. This is most beautiful. 497 00:37:23,273 --> 00:37:24,899 But he got too comfortable here. 498 00:37:25,074 --> 00:37:28,099 Press this button, it's free HBO. 499 00:37:28,645 --> 00:37:33,479 The electronics store is a dream killer. 500 00:37:34,583 --> 00:37:39,246 And I won't let the Zohan kill his dream. 501 00:37:41,690 --> 00:37:45,625 You are a real mensch, Oori. 502 00:37:45,794 --> 00:37:49,160 You the mensch. 503 00:37:49,331 --> 00:37:50,388 Come. 504 00:37:50,566 --> 00:37:51,623 What! What's this! 505 00:37:51,799 --> 00:37:55,564 You may not go for this, but this place cross the street... 506 00:37:55,736 --> 00:37:57,760 - Yes! - They maybe take you. 507 00:37:58,372 --> 00:38:01,772 - Is good place! - No, is dump, but they take you. 508 00:38:01,943 --> 00:38:04,069 Is on Palestinian side of street. 509 00:38:04,245 --> 00:38:05,541 Palestinian! 510 00:38:05,713 --> 00:38:09,045 No, no, no. Look, nobody kill you there. 511 00:38:09,217 --> 00:38:10,478 Here nobody care. 512 00:38:10,651 --> 00:38:12,709 First off, no one kill me anywhere. 513 00:38:13,420 --> 00:38:15,683 But Palestinian, no. 514 00:38:15,855 --> 00:38:17,947 I've done enough to my parents already. 515 00:38:18,124 --> 00:38:20,421 I just want job for the Zohan. 516 00:38:20,594 --> 00:38:22,584 And it kills me the way Phantom bastard... 517 00:38:22,762 --> 00:38:25,628 ...getting his buttochim kissed in Palestine now. 518 00:38:25,799 --> 00:38:28,130 Buttochim kissed! What's this! 519 00:38:28,568 --> 00:38:29,829 He have business. 520 00:38:30,003 --> 00:38:31,902 He buy wives. 521 00:38:33,206 --> 00:38:34,570 Him! 522 00:38:34,740 --> 00:38:38,175 They say his ugly face everywhere. 523 00:38:38,744 --> 00:38:41,803 Everyone is running To Phantom's Chewy Muchentuchen 524 00:38:41,947 --> 00:38:45,347 For the food the heroes eat 525 00:38:45,718 --> 00:38:48,777 Kubeh, sambouesk, Delicious muchentuchen 526 00:38:48,954 --> 00:38:51,046 You never know who you'll meet 527 00:38:51,223 --> 00:38:55,022 You are going to get spoiled. 528 00:39:01,132 --> 00:39:03,691 Phantom Muchentuchen! 529 00:39:03,868 --> 00:39:05,391 Oh, yeah! 530 00:39:05,570 --> 00:39:07,662 This month, order Muchentuchen Happy Lunch... 531 00:39:07,839 --> 00:39:10,966 ... and get action figures from Phantom Presents: Death to Zohan. 532 00:39:14,612 --> 00:39:16,442 Unbelievable. 533 00:39:16,614 --> 00:39:21,641 This animal gets to live his dream. But, me, l... 534 00:39:22,185 --> 00:39:26,348 I can no work Palestinian, no. It's like... I can't do this. 535 00:39:26,523 --> 00:39:27,887 Yes, you can. 536 00:39:28,058 --> 00:39:31,993 Is your dream to cut hair. You want fight, or you want hair! 537 00:39:32,162 --> 00:39:35,392 I want hair. But I'm scared. 538 00:39:35,565 --> 00:39:38,362 Is America. You can do anything here. 539 00:39:38,535 --> 00:39:42,129 You never done something people thought was impossible! 540 00:39:44,607 --> 00:39:47,541 So you don't want to talk, huh! I'll make you talk. 541 00:40:07,329 --> 00:40:08,420 I can do this. 542 00:40:20,542 --> 00:40:22,031 Disco, disco, good, good. 543 00:40:22,209 --> 00:40:23,903 Disco, disco, good, good. 544 00:40:24,078 --> 00:40:25,806 Disco, disco, good, good. 545 00:40:25,979 --> 00:40:27,445 Disco, disco, good, good. 546 00:40:27,614 --> 00:40:29,376 Disco, disco, good, good. 547 00:40:31,251 --> 00:40:34,048 So you have never cut hair before. 548 00:40:34,221 --> 00:40:37,087 I have cut my own hair and several dogs. 549 00:40:37,758 --> 00:40:41,853 I have the Paul Mitchell book, I have the stamina, the desire... 550 00:40:42,029 --> 00:40:44,394 But you have no training or experience. 551 00:40:44,564 --> 00:40:48,624 Would you hire someone with experience in something else! 552 00:40:49,102 --> 00:40:50,125 In what! 553 00:40:50,503 --> 00:40:52,732 Can anyone here do this! 554 00:40:59,912 --> 00:41:03,074 Okay. I have never seen that. 555 00:41:03,249 --> 00:41:06,046 That is very nice, but that is not going to help me. 556 00:41:06,218 --> 00:41:08,685 No hands. 557 00:41:08,854 --> 00:41:10,377 Besides, I have no openings. 558 00:41:10,555 --> 00:41:12,283 If anything, I need to scale back... 559 00:41:12,457 --> 00:41:14,947 ...since they just raised my rent through the roof. 560 00:41:15,127 --> 00:41:19,688 Out of nowhere, some guy with a tie comes in and tells me I need to pay. 561 00:41:19,865 --> 00:41:21,058 Stop it! 562 00:41:22,467 --> 00:41:25,333 I only wish to learn. 563 00:41:25,504 --> 00:41:27,835 I will do whatever it takes. 564 00:41:30,674 --> 00:41:34,234 Fine. You can sweep up hair a few shifts a week. 565 00:41:34,412 --> 00:41:36,402 - You won't be... - No pay. 566 00:41:36,580 --> 00:41:39,742 No, no, no. But then, I will become stylist, yes! 567 00:41:40,351 --> 00:41:41,544 That could be a while. 568 00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:44,118 I will wait turn. You will see. 569 00:41:44,288 --> 00:41:47,518 I will get nighttime job for money. 570 00:41:47,691 --> 00:41:50,318 Soon the whole world will be silky smooth. 571 00:42:00,637 --> 00:42:01,660 Zohan. 572 00:42:01,838 --> 00:42:04,431 - Carmen Electra has the best tits now. - Oh, please. 573 00:42:04,607 --> 00:42:07,632 Oh, my God. I wonder how much she paid for them. 574 00:42:08,945 --> 00:42:11,174 They're so perky. 575 00:42:11,346 --> 00:42:14,314 You know, leave it to her to buy the best tits. 576 00:42:14,483 --> 00:42:16,916 It's always first class with that one. 577 00:42:17,085 --> 00:42:20,247 You know you don't have to catch every piece of hair as it falls. 578 00:42:20,422 --> 00:42:24,790 Yes, I do. You deserve a perfect floor. One single hair is unacceptable. 579 00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:25,983 As you were. 580 00:42:39,774 --> 00:42:41,536 Yes. I got this. 581 00:42:42,910 --> 00:42:45,275 "Did you see the new Kate Hudson movie! 582 00:42:45,446 --> 00:42:48,505 I think she is even more vivacious than her mother." 583 00:42:48,683 --> 00:42:52,846 Scrappeleh, that's wonderful. Now, let's practice on Michael. 584 00:42:53,020 --> 00:42:56,147 Michael! Could you come in here, please! 585 00:42:56,923 --> 00:42:58,219 What! What is...! 586 00:42:58,391 --> 00:43:01,325 Oh, Scrappy needs to practice small-talking. 587 00:43:01,495 --> 00:43:04,861 Can we do this another time! I have a shot at keeping my food down. 588 00:43:05,031 --> 00:43:06,588 Michael, I want to practice now. 589 00:43:06,766 --> 00:43:09,700 I'm afraid I'm terrible at this. Why won't you help me! 590 00:43:09,870 --> 00:43:14,863 Oh, honey. You are good at everything you do. 591 00:43:39,264 --> 00:43:40,958 - Got it. - Thanks. 592 00:43:41,132 --> 00:43:43,326 So you're making her silky smooth, huh, Claude! 593 00:43:43,501 --> 00:43:46,731 - Framing her face! - Yeah, Scrappy. I'm framing her face. 594 00:43:46,905 --> 00:43:48,064 This is smart. 595 00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:51,833 A nice layered style with the soft bangs... 596 00:43:52,010 --> 00:43:54,102 ...is good for a bigger woman like this. 597 00:43:54,279 --> 00:43:56,473 - Coco. - Takes the eyes off the moon face... 598 00:43:56,648 --> 00:43:58,410 ...and brings it toward the titzim. 599 00:43:58,582 --> 00:44:00,412 Coco. 600 00:44:00,584 --> 00:44:01,777 I need to speak to you. 601 00:44:03,287 --> 00:44:04,548 In private. 602 00:44:05,689 --> 00:44:08,213 Private. A secret! 603 00:44:08,392 --> 00:44:10,791 They will never get it out of me, I promise you. 604 00:44:10,961 --> 00:44:14,157 Coco, Claude is trying to work. 605 00:44:14,331 --> 00:44:15,957 Yes. He's very good. 606 00:44:16,133 --> 00:44:18,999 So I am ready to cut hair today. So let's go, let's get it on. 607 00:44:19,169 --> 00:44:21,068 No. Let's not go. 608 00:44:21,237 --> 00:44:22,260 But I am the best. 609 00:44:22,438 --> 00:44:24,405 Don't tell me you're the best. 610 00:44:24,574 --> 00:44:27,337 - I have the desire, the stamina. - You've been here two days. 611 00:44:27,510 --> 00:44:29,238 I run this place for five years. 612 00:44:29,412 --> 00:44:32,175 I think I know when you are ready to cut hair. 613 00:44:32,348 --> 00:44:35,009 Okay, Jeez! Get a room, you two. 614 00:44:35,184 --> 00:44:37,208 No, no, no. 615 00:44:37,386 --> 00:44:40,320 I do not touch this with your penachim. 616 00:44:41,756 --> 00:44:43,450 Out of respect for the working. 617 00:44:43,792 --> 00:44:46,885 No, you don't eat where you shit. 618 00:44:47,062 --> 00:44:50,519 Or shit where you eat. Whatever the... 619 00:44:50,699 --> 00:44:52,359 The smell is bad. 620 00:44:55,403 --> 00:44:56,664 This is called a comb. 621 00:44:58,673 --> 00:45:01,641 - With the fingers! - Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. 622 00:45:03,177 --> 00:45:06,577 - Scrappy. - I'm sorry. Here, I take your leg up. 623 00:45:06,747 --> 00:45:08,441 I'm sorry about this. I'm sorry. 624 00:45:08,616 --> 00:45:10,674 - Okay. All right. - I apologize. 625 00:45:10,851 --> 00:45:13,284 - Take him where he wants to go. - Thank you. Okay. 626 00:45:13,454 --> 00:45:14,977 - Good luck. - It will be fine. 627 00:45:15,155 --> 00:45:18,681 - Your limousine has arrived, sir. - You're observant, Tyler. 628 00:45:19,460 --> 00:45:21,256 Thank you, Big Mac. 629 00:45:21,428 --> 00:45:25,329 I am really late for a hotel opening downtown. The Walbridge Hotel. 630 00:45:25,498 --> 00:45:28,660 I understand, sir. I know the neighborhoods inside and backwards. 631 00:45:28,835 --> 00:45:31,166 - We will not let them stop us. - What! 632 00:45:36,709 --> 00:45:38,073 I'm not in much of a hurry. 633 00:45:41,681 --> 00:45:43,807 Oh, no. 634 00:45:47,085 --> 00:45:48,574 You want some coffee back there! 635 00:45:48,754 --> 00:45:50,152 No! 636 00:45:50,656 --> 00:45:51,849 I will lose them. 637 00:45:53,258 --> 00:45:55,817 Nobody is following us. 638 00:46:01,566 --> 00:46:03,328 Oh, shit! 639 00:46:16,714 --> 00:46:18,578 Have a good time, sir. 640 00:46:22,620 --> 00:46:25,611 Debbie, you did a good job. 641 00:46:25,790 --> 00:46:29,156 You look very bangable, Mrs. Rosen. 642 00:46:29,993 --> 00:46:32,426 Mrs. Paulson, I must tell you... 643 00:46:32,595 --> 00:46:36,621 ...when you first came in, you looked hideous. 644 00:46:36,800 --> 00:46:38,130 There was nothing attractive. 645 00:46:38,301 --> 00:46:43,328 But now, I must say, my schtitzel, it's about to burst. 646 00:46:43,506 --> 00:46:46,201 - It could break these any... - What are you doing! 647 00:46:46,376 --> 00:46:49,139 We are talking shop. 648 00:46:49,312 --> 00:46:51,404 No. No. 649 00:46:52,147 --> 00:46:53,909 - Look, Coco... - What! 650 00:46:54,083 --> 00:46:55,982 You need to calm down now, okay! 651 00:46:56,151 --> 00:46:58,948 I don't think these customers like the way you talk shop. 652 00:46:59,121 --> 00:47:00,246 Nobody say this. 653 00:47:00,422 --> 00:47:05,723 Coco, remember, respect for the workplace. 654 00:47:07,529 --> 00:47:09,462 I have betrayed my salon. 655 00:47:13,768 --> 00:47:15,064 He's trying to kill himself. 656 00:47:15,236 --> 00:47:16,566 - Scrappy. - I deserve this. 657 00:47:16,738 --> 00:47:19,934 No, no. Just... Just... 658 00:47:20,508 --> 00:47:22,839 Easy on the ladies. 659 00:47:23,444 --> 00:47:25,604 I didn't mind. 660 00:47:30,752 --> 00:47:32,616 Take care, Mrs. Paulson. 661 00:47:33,588 --> 00:47:35,612 She did not mind. 662 00:47:38,525 --> 00:47:41,652 Let me disinfect the scissors... 663 00:47:42,395 --> 00:47:47,093 ...so someone else can make someone else silky smooth. 664 00:47:48,135 --> 00:47:49,965 I'll just clean up. 665 00:47:55,041 --> 00:47:57,099 Rafaela's Salon. 666 00:47:57,276 --> 00:47:59,209 What! No. 667 00:48:02,281 --> 00:48:03,508 Debbie, she quit. 668 00:48:04,283 --> 00:48:06,045 - What! - Sorry. 669 00:48:06,519 --> 00:48:08,679 Claude, did you know about this! 670 00:48:08,854 --> 00:48:10,115 I should have told you. 671 00:48:10,289 --> 00:48:13,655 She's been looking for a new job since those rent guys came around. 672 00:48:13,826 --> 00:48:16,191 Then why you no say nothing, little bitch! 673 00:48:18,096 --> 00:48:21,531 Don't worry, I'm not giving up on this place. 674 00:48:21,699 --> 00:48:24,963 You're a good guy, habibi. I just... I don't know what to do. 675 00:48:30,108 --> 00:48:31,631 So let's go. 676 00:48:31,810 --> 00:48:34,835 Scrappy, I have enough problems right now. 677 00:48:38,049 --> 00:48:40,414 I not the problem. I the solution. I fix. 678 00:48:40,584 --> 00:48:42,744 But if you screw up... 679 00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,319 I can't afford a screwup right now. 680 00:48:45,489 --> 00:48:48,616 No, no, no. I no screw up. I am the best for the job. 681 00:48:48,792 --> 00:48:51,555 Yeah, but you push and push. "When is my turn"! 682 00:48:51,728 --> 00:48:53,319 I have to care about salon. 683 00:48:53,497 --> 00:48:54,827 - No, no, no. - No, no, no. 684 00:48:54,998 --> 00:48:59,593 You care about you. And don't fight in front of the customer. 685 00:49:02,338 --> 00:49:06,967 Mrs. Skitzer, I am afraid our stylist is out today. 686 00:49:07,143 --> 00:49:10,270 Would you care to wait for Claude! 687 00:49:11,681 --> 00:49:12,738 Does he do hair! 688 00:49:15,585 --> 00:49:18,883 He's not a regular. 689 00:49:19,055 --> 00:49:20,351 Well, that's fine. 690 00:49:22,724 --> 00:49:28,025 She say... I mean, only if it's okay with Dalia. 691 00:49:30,365 --> 00:49:31,626 Okay. 692 00:49:32,467 --> 00:49:37,597 You will not regret this decision. 693 00:49:41,109 --> 00:49:43,804 Mrs. Skitzer, let's cut your hair. 694 00:49:44,378 --> 00:49:47,972 Just lay back, Mrs. Skitzer. I'll take care of everything. 695 00:49:48,449 --> 00:49:50,814 - Oh, thank you. - Thank you. 696 00:49:50,985 --> 00:49:53,782 Sexy woman like you deserves to be pampered. 697 00:49:53,954 --> 00:49:55,978 Me, sexy! Sure. 698 00:49:56,156 --> 00:49:57,179 Don't be humble. 699 00:49:57,358 --> 00:50:02,317 You've got the ass and tits of a schoolgirl and you know it. 700 00:50:02,496 --> 00:50:05,692 And everyone else knows this too, believe me. 701 00:50:05,865 --> 00:50:07,422 Yes. 702 00:50:07,600 --> 00:50:09,499 Let me get your earring off. 703 00:51:58,940 --> 00:52:00,201 I love it. 704 00:52:00,375 --> 00:52:04,242 Of course you do. I make you silky smooth. I tell you this. 705 00:52:04,812 --> 00:52:08,679 All right, Scrappy. You can cut Debbie's clients today. 706 00:52:08,850 --> 00:52:11,443 If they want you. 707 00:52:16,123 --> 00:52:17,146 Thank you. 708 00:52:17,324 --> 00:52:20,884 I'll get to you all soon as I'm all the way done with Mrs. Skitzer. 709 00:52:22,195 --> 00:52:23,684 That all you got, Mrs. Skitzer! 710 00:52:23,864 --> 00:52:28,027 Come on, baby. Go, baby. Yes. Yes. 711 00:52:47,420 --> 00:52:48,613 So who's next! 712 00:53:23,654 --> 00:53:26,144 Come on, Scrappy! 713 00:53:27,925 --> 00:53:30,358 Thank you, dear. 714 00:53:30,861 --> 00:53:34,887 - It's a lot of speakers. - Yes. Yes. 715 00:53:38,569 --> 00:53:40,502 It's orgasmic. 716 00:53:40,671 --> 00:53:42,365 Oh, my God. 717 00:53:43,573 --> 00:53:45,540 Oh, yes! 718 00:53:59,989 --> 00:54:02,718 Grab it, Scrappy! 719 00:54:10,599 --> 00:54:13,192 For you. Yes. 720 00:54:18,406 --> 00:54:20,737 I give this to you. 721 00:54:28,582 --> 00:54:32,073 - No. I am sorry, Mr. Paul Mitchell. - Hear me out, Scrappy, please. 722 00:54:32,253 --> 00:54:35,983 I'll give you stock options. I'll name a shampoo after you. 723 00:54:36,157 --> 00:54:40,650 No, my loyalty is to here. I will destroy you. 724 00:54:43,931 --> 00:54:47,195 I heard about this place from Joanne. 725 00:54:47,367 --> 00:54:49,698 You have to ask for Scrappy. 726 00:54:49,869 --> 00:54:52,860 Yes, is the primary cardholder present! 727 00:54:53,039 --> 00:54:54,062 Excuse me! 728 00:54:54,240 --> 00:54:56,969 Hello, I am calling from Spiegel catalogue. 729 00:54:57,143 --> 00:54:59,576 Are you between the ages of 18 and 39! 730 00:54:59,746 --> 00:55:01,542 We're trying to talk here. 731 00:55:01,714 --> 00:55:04,079 Have you ordered from catalogue in past six months! 732 00:55:04,250 --> 00:55:06,240 Could you get off the phone while you drive! 733 00:55:06,419 --> 00:55:09,216 Hey, what's the matter! I trying to make a living, do my job. 734 00:55:09,388 --> 00:55:10,445 This is your job. 735 00:55:10,622 --> 00:55:11,713 This is job also. 736 00:55:11,890 --> 00:55:12,913 This is not Iraq. 737 00:55:13,091 --> 00:55:15,320 I am Palestine, I'm not Iraq. 738 00:55:15,494 --> 00:55:16,824 And you're not getting a tip. 739 00:55:16,995 --> 00:55:18,723 And you are a stupid cow. 740 00:55:18,897 --> 00:55:19,920 Jeez. 741 00:55:20,098 --> 00:55:22,657 - And we're done. Okay, you, skedaddle. - Thanks so much. 742 00:55:22,834 --> 00:55:25,233 - I'll see you later. - All right. 743 00:55:25,837 --> 00:55:27,770 I like this, the red hair. 744 00:55:27,940 --> 00:55:31,204 I bet she has a pumpkin patch down below, yes! 745 00:55:31,375 --> 00:55:32,432 I don't know. 746 00:55:32,610 --> 00:55:35,203 - Did you tap her tuchus? - No. 747 00:55:35,379 --> 00:55:38,404 Why don't you go after the snatchacheem in this place! 748 00:55:38,583 --> 00:55:40,675 They all want you, believe me. 749 00:55:40,851 --> 00:55:42,818 Scrappy, I wouldn't be so sure. 750 00:55:42,987 --> 00:55:45,318 I'm telling you, you're not picking up the signs. 751 00:55:45,990 --> 00:55:48,651 Come with me. I'll show you a technique. It's beautiful. 752 00:55:48,826 --> 00:55:53,228 Hello, Mrs. Haynes. How are you! You want the cut and color today! 753 00:55:53,396 --> 00:55:54,760 Yes, please. Thanks. 754 00:55:55,765 --> 00:55:56,788 Watch. 755 00:56:00,437 --> 00:56:03,496 You see! She's going with it. It's good. 756 00:56:03,673 --> 00:56:04,832 Yep. 757 00:56:05,342 --> 00:56:08,139 - She has a free shoulder. Come join. - I'm good. 758 00:56:09,312 --> 00:56:11,745 Mrs. Haynes, you're getting cold here. 759 00:56:11,915 --> 00:56:14,348 Claude, come. Keep her warm. 760 00:56:14,516 --> 00:56:16,176 Go ahead. Yes. 761 00:56:16,885 --> 00:56:21,480 And gently move. Gently move the shoulder. 762 00:56:21,657 --> 00:56:24,454 All you want to do is let her know you're here for her. 763 00:56:25,011 --> 00:56:28,069 Now look away like you're not even doing it. 764 00:56:28,246 --> 00:56:30,179 We're not doing this. 765 00:56:30,348 --> 00:56:31,645 - Same rhythm. - Okay. 766 00:56:31,817 --> 00:56:34,181 Push. Push. Push. 767 00:56:35,987 --> 00:56:40,649 Oh, you're pushing harder. It's starting to feel good on my end. 768 00:56:40,824 --> 00:56:44,487 I am trying to make money to start my own business, huh. 769 00:56:44,663 --> 00:56:47,221 Would you say you read Spiegel once a month, twice... 770 00:56:47,399 --> 00:56:49,262 Would you just get us to the hair salon! 771 00:56:49,433 --> 00:56:50,991 We're gonna miss our appointment. 772 00:56:51,169 --> 00:56:54,763 I curse you, and I curse your hair. 773 00:56:54,939 --> 00:56:58,305 What is big deal about this hair place anyway! 774 00:57:00,878 --> 00:57:02,401 They get worse every year. 775 00:57:09,420 --> 00:57:14,722 Okay, we'll take them to the truck. We'll just talk to them. But we'll find a... 776 00:57:17,727 --> 00:57:21,356 Did you throw this shoe at me, my friend! 777 00:57:22,532 --> 00:57:23,862 No! 778 00:57:24,033 --> 00:57:26,592 Sure looks like it was you. 779 00:57:31,174 --> 00:57:33,438 Then who threw it! 780 00:57:36,779 --> 00:57:40,976 Okay. You're lucky I'm in good mood. I'll let you off the hook. 781 00:57:42,452 --> 00:57:45,214 Nobody spits on me. 782 00:57:49,591 --> 00:57:52,492 Thank you for the goat, my friend. 783 00:57:52,662 --> 00:57:53,685 Yes. 784 00:57:54,697 --> 00:57:57,062 Goat! 785 00:57:57,233 --> 00:57:59,200 Goat. 786 00:57:59,368 --> 00:58:01,892 Goat! 787 00:58:02,070 --> 00:58:04,536 Goat! 788 00:58:05,373 --> 00:58:07,863 Goat. 789 00:58:08,043 --> 00:58:11,033 I said, "Can we have the receipt!" 790 00:58:12,214 --> 00:58:14,773 Yes. Die in hell. 791 00:58:18,487 --> 00:58:19,714 Welcome. 792 00:58:23,324 --> 00:58:26,520 We'll color your hair Bling-Bling Blond. This is what you need. 793 00:58:26,694 --> 00:58:28,684 You know what else they go for! 794 00:58:28,863 --> 00:58:32,696 The... I don't know what you have, but mine is the biggest. 795 00:58:32,867 --> 00:58:35,391 This... It does not get bigger than this. 796 00:58:35,569 --> 00:58:38,800 It's enormous. Scary. I mean: 797 00:58:38,973 --> 00:58:40,132 What! 798 00:58:40,575 --> 00:58:43,168 I have the biggest. It's the biggest. 799 00:58:43,344 --> 00:58:45,005 Take a look at this. 800 00:58:45,179 --> 00:58:47,169 Look. 801 00:58:49,916 --> 00:58:52,145 - It's not that big. - It's not that...! 802 00:58:52,318 --> 00:58:53,478 No, no, no. The bush. 803 00:58:54,087 --> 00:58:55,748 The bush is the biggest. 804 00:58:55,923 --> 00:58:58,412 And the girls like this because it's cushion. 805 00:58:59,927 --> 00:59:04,260 It is no bullshaklaga. He is the one. I never forget a face. 806 00:59:04,431 --> 00:59:06,091 So, what do you want I do! 807 00:59:06,633 --> 00:59:08,532 Wait. I conference you. 808 00:59:10,603 --> 00:59:11,625 Hello! 809 00:59:11,805 --> 00:59:14,830 Nasi, emergency meeting. You're on with Hamdi as well. 810 00:59:15,008 --> 00:59:16,941 - Hello, Nasi. - Hello, Hamdi. 811 00:59:17,110 --> 00:59:19,509 Can you believe how much they pay Delgado! 812 00:59:19,679 --> 00:59:22,909 Yes. Why Mets do this! 813 00:59:23,683 --> 00:59:26,708 This is serious. We meet! 814 00:59:26,886 --> 00:59:29,547 I explain why is emergency. 815 00:59:29,721 --> 00:59:32,518 This is not just man who take my goat. 816 00:59:34,928 --> 00:59:38,020 - Zohan Dvir. - Yes. 817 00:59:38,197 --> 00:59:40,323 Everyone think Phantom kill him. 818 00:59:40,499 --> 00:59:41,863 Phantom not kill him. 819 00:59:42,034 --> 00:59:45,663 We will capture, then make trade with Israel. 820 00:59:45,838 --> 00:59:47,998 We will be heroes. 821 00:59:48,173 --> 00:59:51,870 But, Salim, we are not Jihadim. We don't know for sure that this is him. 822 00:59:52,044 --> 00:59:54,943 Let's call Hamas, Hezbollah. Let them handle this. 823 00:59:55,112 --> 00:59:57,136 - Leave it to the pros. - No. 824 00:59:57,315 --> 00:59:58,713 Hezbollah shmezbollah. 825 00:59:58,883 --> 01:00:02,751 Hezbollah will take all the credit. This is our shot. 826 01:00:02,921 --> 01:00:04,854 Why not let Phantom capture him! 827 01:00:05,023 --> 01:00:08,219 Screw Phantom. He hero already. 828 01:00:08,727 --> 01:00:12,092 Where's my chain of muchentuchen restaurants! 829 01:00:13,531 --> 01:00:16,259 Salim, don't make this about yourself. 830 01:00:16,433 --> 01:00:17,900 This is about me. 831 01:00:18,068 --> 01:00:19,695 And about him. 832 01:00:19,871 --> 01:00:21,838 And about my goat! 833 01:00:22,572 --> 01:00:25,132 Come on, let's go! 834 01:00:25,309 --> 01:00:28,709 This is nice, the walking inside the outside. 835 01:00:28,879 --> 01:00:32,440 The park, the people, the horses, the kid. 836 01:00:32,616 --> 01:00:34,446 Well, you're always downtown. 837 01:00:34,618 --> 01:00:36,710 You should see a little more of New York. 838 01:00:36,887 --> 01:00:38,854 Yes, yes, this is good. 839 01:00:39,022 --> 01:00:40,579 The talking is good... 840 01:00:40,757 --> 01:00:43,452 ...to get to know each other before the bang-boom. I like. 841 01:00:43,627 --> 01:00:47,494 Oh, no, no, no. There will be no bang-booming. 842 01:00:47,664 --> 01:00:51,030 I just wanted to thank you for saving my business. 843 01:00:51,201 --> 01:00:54,192 - This isn't a date. - No, no, no. 844 01:00:54,371 --> 01:00:57,566 I feel you have helped me so much... 845 01:00:57,740 --> 01:01:00,003 The right thing to do is to tap you so hard... 846 01:01:00,175 --> 01:01:03,371 ...my schtitzel will come out your poopech. That's what I think. 847 01:01:03,545 --> 01:01:06,570 Look, why don't we just enjoy the park! 848 01:01:06,749 --> 01:01:08,910 No, no, no. This is what we do. 849 01:01:10,452 --> 01:01:12,885 Hey, look, softball. 850 01:01:13,056 --> 01:01:15,990 - You like softball! - Of course, I love softball. 851 01:01:16,157 --> 01:01:19,957 What is softball! Teach me how to. 852 01:01:20,129 --> 01:01:22,721 I learned softball when I came to the States. 853 01:01:22,897 --> 01:01:25,456 When you're Arab, it helps to fit in. 854 01:01:25,634 --> 01:01:27,566 Yeah, how long you move here ago! 855 01:01:27,736 --> 01:01:29,668 Just a few years ago. 856 01:01:29,838 --> 01:01:34,274 I couldn't take it there anymore. All the hate, on both sides. 857 01:01:34,443 --> 01:01:36,501 Yes, especially yours. 858 01:01:36,678 --> 01:01:39,578 Why you say this! You don't know. 859 01:01:39,747 --> 01:01:41,976 No, no, I don't. I read this. 860 01:01:42,149 --> 01:01:46,518 The Australian-Tibet media is very biased. 861 01:01:46,688 --> 01:01:50,248 Look, both sides crazy. 862 01:01:50,425 --> 01:01:51,789 My own family... 863 01:01:52,994 --> 01:01:54,517 My brother... 864 01:01:54,696 --> 01:02:00,099 ...if he knew I work cross street from Israelis, he would lose it. 865 01:02:00,267 --> 01:02:03,861 - Really! - You have the hardcores on both sides. 866 01:02:04,037 --> 01:02:06,470 They just want to fight and fight. 867 01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:09,837 Nobody will win this way. It has to stop. 868 01:02:11,111 --> 01:02:14,375 When will it end, eh! Yes. 869 01:02:16,117 --> 01:02:19,949 Okay, so you must be thirsty, no! 870 01:02:20,454 --> 01:02:22,387 Here. 871 01:02:22,556 --> 01:02:24,546 Where you get this! 872 01:02:24,725 --> 01:02:27,158 This! From specialty shop on West Side. 873 01:02:27,326 --> 01:02:30,853 This Middle Eastern drink. You know this! Fizzy Bubblech! 874 01:02:31,031 --> 01:02:34,192 No, no, no. It looks pretty good. 875 01:02:34,367 --> 01:02:37,234 Oh, try, try. It's very good. Try, have a sip. 876 01:02:41,474 --> 01:02:42,564 It's not for me. 877 01:02:42,741 --> 01:02:44,640 No! Really! 878 01:02:48,247 --> 01:02:50,544 This is his shop. 879 01:02:50,716 --> 01:02:53,080 Here is photo for compare. 880 01:02:53,251 --> 01:02:55,811 For how long this take! I close the newsstand. 881 01:02:57,189 --> 01:03:00,749 Make sure you ask him if he ever hit by shoe. 882 01:03:00,926 --> 01:03:06,090 And about the prize goat that can fetch a bowl of onion soup. 883 01:03:06,698 --> 01:03:10,531 Look in his eyes when you ask him this, for they will be suffering. 884 01:03:10,702 --> 01:03:12,931 - You know, I just got haircut. - Go. 885 01:03:14,373 --> 01:03:19,172 Look at this. I feel like Hugh Hefner with all you little bunnies around here. 886 01:03:22,113 --> 01:03:26,208 Okay, okay, let's see who is going next. 887 01:03:27,452 --> 01:03:31,547 "Jorge Posada," where are you! 888 01:03:31,723 --> 01:03:32,881 That's me. 889 01:03:34,491 --> 01:03:37,288 Okay, good-looking guy, you take a seat there. You're next. 890 01:03:37,962 --> 01:03:40,428 You know, you look like you already just got haircut. 891 01:03:41,465 --> 01:03:43,523 No, no. 892 01:03:43,701 --> 01:03:47,567 So I guessing you're looking for something in the silky smooth area! 893 01:03:47,737 --> 01:03:51,036 - Well... - Because I see you have nice curls. 894 01:03:51,207 --> 01:03:53,800 You don't want to cut into those curls. 895 01:03:53,976 --> 01:03:55,909 We will talk about this over there. 896 01:03:56,079 --> 01:04:00,516 Okay, Scrappy, I wait. 897 01:04:00,684 --> 01:04:03,277 Is not like I have a shoe to throw. 898 01:04:04,554 --> 01:04:06,384 Sure. Yes. Beautiful. Whatever. 899 01:04:06,556 --> 01:04:10,719 I don't have time to go watch a goat fetch soap. 900 01:04:11,527 --> 01:04:14,586 - What! - What! I don't know. 901 01:04:14,764 --> 01:04:16,162 Listen, my friend... 902 01:04:16,332 --> 01:04:19,266 ...you want to talk, it's good, but you have to wait your turn. 903 01:04:19,435 --> 01:04:21,561 First I have to cut and bang Mrs. Greenhouse. 904 01:04:21,737 --> 01:04:23,761 - That's right. - Okay. 905 01:04:28,311 --> 01:04:30,005 Well, I'm ready for it. 906 01:04:30,178 --> 01:04:32,372 Oh, dear. 907 01:04:33,850 --> 01:04:38,479 I am sorry, Mrs. Greenhouse. I am not man enough for you today. 908 01:04:38,653 --> 01:04:41,416 Oh, Scrappy, it's fine. 909 01:04:41,590 --> 01:04:45,423 I don't know what the problem is. I am going to lose business. 910 01:04:45,594 --> 01:04:49,495 Oh, no, dear. You're still adorable. 911 01:04:49,664 --> 01:04:52,427 The screwing was really just a bonus. 912 01:04:53,301 --> 01:04:56,791 You are an angel, Mrs. Greenhouse. 913 01:04:56,972 --> 01:05:00,065 An angel with a magic throat. 914 01:05:00,241 --> 01:05:02,106 Oh, Scrappy! 915 01:05:03,411 --> 01:05:06,845 No, that could work. One more, please. 916 01:05:07,014 --> 01:05:08,606 Let's see what we got. 917 01:05:08,782 --> 01:05:10,942 And we're still nothing. 918 01:05:23,430 --> 01:05:24,453 Well! 919 01:05:24,632 --> 01:05:26,622 He was very cool. 920 01:05:26,800 --> 01:05:28,824 Idiot. What did he say! 921 01:05:29,470 --> 01:05:33,872 He think I have nice curls that go well with a full face. 922 01:05:34,041 --> 01:05:37,203 - But was it him! - Well, it looked like him. 923 01:05:37,377 --> 01:05:38,843 But hard to know. 924 01:05:39,012 --> 01:05:43,710 I tell you this: he didn't seem to care when I talk about goat fetching soap. 925 01:05:44,751 --> 01:05:49,484 Soup. The goat fetched soup. You ruin everything. 926 01:05:49,656 --> 01:05:51,647 Soup! This makes no sense. 927 01:05:51,824 --> 01:05:54,724 Screw you. It's him. I know it's him. 928 01:05:54,894 --> 01:05:58,488 The goat fetched soup! This is unbelievable. 929 01:05:58,664 --> 01:06:00,995 Go to hell. 930 01:06:01,667 --> 01:06:02,894 You said it was urgent! 931 01:06:03,068 --> 01:06:06,265 It's an emergency. Please, take a look. 932 01:06:07,573 --> 01:06:08,597 Yes, yes. 933 01:06:09,508 --> 01:06:13,443 Well, that's not a real problem. You can always shave it. 934 01:06:14,514 --> 01:06:16,538 No, not the bush. 935 01:06:16,716 --> 01:06:20,674 No, inside the bush. Look deeper. Him. 936 01:06:20,852 --> 01:06:23,081 - I see. - He lays in there all day long. 937 01:06:23,255 --> 01:06:27,315 Maybe it needs some more oxygen. It looks like it's being strangled. 938 01:06:29,361 --> 01:06:31,453 So the Palestinian says to the priest: 939 01:06:31,630 --> 01:06:34,893 "Okay, but let's skip the bath." 940 01:06:36,134 --> 01:06:37,964 Why, are they not clean! 941 01:06:38,136 --> 01:06:39,466 No, is good joke. 942 01:06:40,838 --> 01:06:43,965 Honey, are you all right! You've been in there for over an hour. 943 01:06:44,141 --> 01:06:48,509 What is this stuff! I mean, I took one sip and I repainted the whole toilet. 944 01:06:48,679 --> 01:06:51,238 Is Fizzy Bubblech. You'll get used to it, relax. 945 01:06:51,415 --> 01:06:53,905 I don't wanna get used to it. My car couldn't. 946 01:06:56,121 --> 01:06:59,452 - All right, that's it for me. I'm done. - What! What! 947 01:06:59,624 --> 01:07:01,022 Is everything all right! 948 01:07:01,191 --> 01:07:03,249 - Is it about the pee-pee! - Stop it. 949 01:07:03,426 --> 01:07:06,087 - The pee-pee! - He can't do with his peepeechosetz. 950 01:07:06,263 --> 01:07:09,754 Really! He's usually as hard as trigonometry. 951 01:07:09,933 --> 01:07:12,298 - Mom. What...! - When did this happen! 952 01:07:13,037 --> 01:07:14,559 The last few days. 953 01:07:14,738 --> 01:07:17,968 Of course. It's ever since you went out with that Dalia. 954 01:07:19,243 --> 01:07:23,941 Your hog is telling you something. She must be the one. 955 01:07:24,114 --> 01:07:26,637 The one! 956 01:07:26,815 --> 01:07:28,146 Is this possible! 957 01:07:28,318 --> 01:07:30,978 Of course it's possible, man. 958 01:07:31,153 --> 01:07:35,350 All the beaverim in the world and he falls for Palestinian muffich. 959 01:07:35,992 --> 01:07:38,255 Why should Scrappy care if she's Palestinian! 960 01:07:38,428 --> 01:07:41,691 He's from Australia and Tibet. He's not Israeli. 961 01:07:41,864 --> 01:07:43,195 - No, no, no. - Oh, no, no, no. 962 01:07:45,668 --> 01:07:46,964 Exactly. 963 01:07:47,136 --> 01:07:48,727 What was that, a motor boat! 964 01:07:48,904 --> 01:07:50,131 You know, Scrappy... 965 01:07:50,305 --> 01:07:55,436 ...a special woman is special no matter where she's from. 966 01:07:55,611 --> 01:07:57,874 Listen to your hog. 967 01:07:58,647 --> 01:08:02,082 Someone special. 968 01:08:02,251 --> 01:08:03,376 Maybe is good. 969 01:08:03,552 --> 01:08:05,678 It's good! It's terrific! 970 01:08:06,521 --> 01:08:09,354 I mean, you know, you guys won't be together anymore... 971 01:08:09,525 --> 01:08:11,991 ...but Scrappy is in love. That's great, awesome. 972 01:08:12,727 --> 01:08:14,318 Thank you for your support. 973 01:08:14,495 --> 01:08:16,086 - Is a good boy. - Good boy. 974 01:08:16,264 --> 01:08:18,959 This is fun. Let's celebrate. Where's the cat! 975 01:08:19,133 --> 01:08:21,760 Let's cat-sack, huh! Throw it to me. 976 01:08:21,937 --> 01:08:24,631 - Got you. - Let's play, man. 977 01:08:27,407 --> 01:08:29,033 Take it, Michael. 978 01:08:33,780 --> 01:08:34,906 Look at you. 979 01:08:38,485 --> 01:08:40,783 I wanna try it. 980 01:08:48,162 --> 01:08:49,287 Is good. 981 01:08:51,732 --> 01:08:53,562 Welcome to Hezbollah phone line. 982 01:08:53,734 --> 01:08:56,293 For membership information, press one. 983 01:08:56,470 --> 01:08:59,130 For negotiation update, press two. 984 01:08:59,305 --> 01:09:02,035 For bonus mile information, press three. 985 01:09:02,209 --> 01:09:05,507 For terrorist supplies, press four. 986 01:09:06,980 --> 01:09:09,971 We have currently suspended our terrorist supply service... 987 01:09:10,150 --> 01:09:13,141 ... as we are engaged in negotiations with Israel. 988 01:09:13,319 --> 01:09:18,654 We will resume service as soon as negotiations break down. Thank you. 989 01:09:18,824 --> 01:09:20,950 Great. 990 01:09:21,427 --> 01:09:23,792 Come on. Just think of a bomb. 991 01:09:23,963 --> 01:09:28,262 They say you can make bomb from everyday's material. You combine. 992 01:09:28,434 --> 01:09:31,459 Yes, okay. But what we combination! 993 01:09:33,439 --> 01:09:34,961 Just think of chemicals. 994 01:09:35,141 --> 01:09:37,734 Chemicals, like in science class. 995 01:09:37,909 --> 01:09:39,809 Yes. 996 01:09:45,116 --> 01:09:48,142 Who remembers this stuff! 997 01:09:50,955 --> 01:09:52,013 Hello. 998 01:09:52,191 --> 01:09:54,818 Well, can I help you fellas find anything! 999 01:09:54,993 --> 01:09:58,450 Yes, do you have... 1000 01:10:00,465 --> 01:10:05,197 ..."liquid nitrogen." 1001 01:10:06,403 --> 01:10:08,029 You need what! 1002 01:10:08,205 --> 01:10:12,869 Liquid nitrogen. 1003 01:10:14,545 --> 01:10:18,345 Yeah. Well, I suppose we have some of that. 1004 01:10:18,515 --> 01:10:19,776 Now, just a moment. 1005 01:10:26,156 --> 01:10:29,352 - This is it! - Yes, and that's the large container. 1006 01:10:30,661 --> 01:10:32,218 This works! 1007 01:10:32,396 --> 01:10:34,056 Oh, it works quite well. Yes. 1008 01:10:35,365 --> 01:10:36,388 You use! 1009 01:10:36,567 --> 01:10:40,025 From time to time. Sure. 1010 01:10:44,607 --> 01:10:46,575 We'll take 12. 1011 01:10:47,577 --> 01:10:50,512 Look, you can turn off the water... 1012 01:10:50,681 --> 01:10:53,477 ...but we will find a way to keep on going. 1013 01:10:53,649 --> 01:10:55,707 Oh, you like when I spray you, Mrs. Skitzer! 1014 01:10:55,885 --> 01:10:57,681 Where's the $ 14,000! 1015 01:10:58,253 --> 01:11:02,154 I have your rent right here. There is no getting rid of me. 1016 01:11:02,324 --> 01:11:03,757 We don't wanna get rid of you. 1017 01:11:03,926 --> 01:11:08,361 Mr. Walbridge would actually like to relocate your salon in our new mall. 1018 01:11:08,530 --> 01:11:11,761 You mean the one you want to destroy this community to build! 1019 01:11:11,934 --> 01:11:14,401 It is not our intent to destroy this community. 1020 01:11:15,270 --> 01:11:19,673 I'll take the community, Pancake. 1021 01:11:19,841 --> 01:11:23,105 My name is Gray, and I'll be back. 1022 01:11:23,811 --> 01:11:25,539 Nice to meet you, Pancake. 1023 01:11:29,317 --> 01:11:30,340 Why Pancake! 1024 01:11:31,186 --> 01:11:32,209 Just for fun. 1025 01:11:32,988 --> 01:11:34,955 You were amazing right there. 1026 01:11:38,093 --> 01:11:39,116 Oh, my God. 1027 01:11:39,294 --> 01:11:41,318 What! 1028 01:11:41,495 --> 01:11:43,257 I have one. 1029 01:11:43,764 --> 01:11:44,856 What! 1030 01:11:45,032 --> 01:11:47,522 I have zikpah. 1031 01:11:47,701 --> 01:11:48,894 Look at it. 1032 01:11:50,204 --> 01:11:52,967 It is you. 1033 01:11:53,741 --> 01:11:57,801 Dalia, I don't know how to tell you this. I cannot make sticky with anyone else. 1034 01:11:58,879 --> 01:12:01,780 You are the special one. 1035 01:12:01,950 --> 01:12:05,406 I will only be stiff for you. 1036 01:12:06,719 --> 01:12:08,243 Who is Steve! 1037 01:12:08,422 --> 01:12:10,820 Stiff, with an F. 1038 01:12:13,326 --> 01:12:15,953 - Stiff. Stiff. - Yes. 1039 01:12:16,564 --> 01:12:18,154 Okay... 1040 01:12:18,332 --> 01:12:22,323 ...I know you meant that in a good way... 1041 01:12:22,503 --> 01:12:23,729 The best of ways. 1042 01:12:23,903 --> 01:12:26,336 - so thank you. 1043 01:12:26,505 --> 01:12:28,631 Thank you. 1044 01:12:29,976 --> 01:12:31,602 Is crazy. 1045 01:12:31,778 --> 01:12:35,076 This has never happened. 1046 01:12:35,248 --> 01:12:36,838 One woman... 1047 01:12:37,015 --> 01:12:39,210 ...one zikpah... 1048 01:12:39,385 --> 01:12:41,078 ...one life. 1049 01:13:04,444 --> 01:13:07,570 You see his face! Scared Israeli son of bitch. 1050 01:13:07,746 --> 01:13:09,713 Salim, this is not bomb. 1051 01:13:09,880 --> 01:13:11,244 What you mean "not bomb"! 1052 01:13:11,415 --> 01:13:14,042 It's grade A liquid nitrogen. 1053 01:13:14,218 --> 01:13:15,912 Guys, I really need to go home. 1054 01:13:16,087 --> 01:13:18,247 Inaz have a soccer match in the morning. 1055 01:13:18,422 --> 01:13:21,913 - I am hero. - Salim, this not bomb. It just go: 1056 01:13:22,093 --> 01:13:23,890 Well, just go with it. 1057 01:13:26,031 --> 01:13:27,657 I scraped some off the window. 1058 01:13:28,332 --> 01:13:29,629 Maybe you know what is! 1059 01:13:35,438 --> 01:13:39,898 It's Neosporin, it's nothing. I use it for cuts and genital sores. 1060 01:13:43,114 --> 01:13:45,808 We're beginning to think maybe someone out to get the Zo... 1061 01:13:45,982 --> 01:13:47,812 The Scrappy. 1062 01:13:47,984 --> 01:13:51,579 You mean like a competing salon! That's heavy. 1063 01:13:51,755 --> 01:13:54,655 Don't be afraid, honey. Don't be afraid. 1064 01:13:54,824 --> 01:13:56,552 Well, I... 1065 01:13:58,061 --> 01:14:00,756 Yeah, lick this. No, she likes the tongue in the ear. 1066 01:14:00,930 --> 01:14:02,954 Oh, I like that bet... Oh, I like that. 1067 01:14:03,133 --> 01:14:05,225 Close with the brenski. 1068 01:14:07,637 --> 01:14:10,036 Come on, get some saliva on those bad boys. 1069 01:14:10,206 --> 01:14:12,366 - She likes it, huh! - Of course she likes it. 1070 01:14:12,542 --> 01:14:13,872 Okay. 1071 01:14:14,043 --> 01:14:17,102 I could look for clues. It's my shift for community night watch. 1072 01:14:17,279 --> 01:14:19,007 The what! The communism tight crotch! 1073 01:14:19,181 --> 01:14:21,148 Oh, it's the community night watch program. 1074 01:14:21,316 --> 01:14:25,183 You know, people in the neighborhood patrolling it, keeping it safe. 1075 01:14:25,354 --> 01:14:27,116 We kick some ass. 1076 01:14:27,289 --> 01:14:30,224 Hey, why don't you let Scrappy Coco take your shift tonight! 1077 01:14:30,393 --> 01:14:32,792 - I bet he'd be good at this. - Oori. 1078 01:14:33,395 --> 01:14:35,362 What! For clues. 1079 01:14:35,530 --> 01:14:40,125 I know it sounds scary, Scrappy, but you are gonna be just fine. 1080 01:14:41,003 --> 01:14:43,129 Maybe I can manage one night. 1081 01:14:43,305 --> 01:14:45,033 Maybe you can pretzel some people. 1082 01:14:45,207 --> 01:14:48,231 - Thank you for getting the hummus. - The hummus. 1083 01:14:48,877 --> 01:14:50,365 Where's Patches! 1084 01:14:50,545 --> 01:14:52,307 Patches. 1085 01:14:55,883 --> 01:14:58,873 I'm terrified right now. I'm totally terrified. 1086 01:14:59,052 --> 01:15:01,349 "Shitting my pants" doesn't come close. 1087 01:15:01,522 --> 01:15:03,614 I wish I was shitting my pants. 1088 01:15:03,791 --> 01:15:05,655 It's just a patrol. 1089 01:15:05,827 --> 01:15:07,123 What if something goes down! 1090 01:15:07,294 --> 01:15:09,488 I don't know if I'd have the courage. 1091 01:15:09,663 --> 01:15:12,427 What if something goes down and someone got killed! 1092 01:15:12,600 --> 01:15:16,091 I would have to live with that. I'd be happier shitting my pants. 1093 01:15:16,270 --> 01:15:17,566 Much happier. 1094 01:15:21,641 --> 01:15:23,801 - Let's go. - We're supposed to call the police. 1095 01:15:23,977 --> 01:15:25,068 No. No time. 1096 01:15:25,245 --> 01:15:27,144 No, no. No. It's good. 1097 01:15:30,250 --> 01:15:31,273 Drop the paint. 1098 01:15:32,686 --> 01:15:35,779 Get out of here, Ahab, or I'll cut your eyes out. 1099 01:15:35,956 --> 01:15:38,423 - Maybe we should let him finish. - No, no, no. 1100 01:15:38,592 --> 01:15:41,356 What you cut my eyes out with! The Neosporin! 1101 01:15:44,363 --> 01:15:46,091 My blade, camel jockey. 1102 01:15:46,265 --> 01:15:49,666 My friend, the beating I give you if you stop the spraying... 1103 01:15:49,836 --> 01:15:53,326 ...is much less than the beating I give you if you try to cut me. 1104 01:15:57,643 --> 01:15:58,939 What are you laughing at! 1105 01:15:59,812 --> 01:16:02,508 That was just with everyone. 1106 01:16:13,325 --> 01:16:14,985 They had it coming to them, right! 1107 01:16:15,161 --> 01:16:17,390 Yeah. Yeah, it seemed like it. Yeah. 1108 01:16:17,563 --> 01:16:21,362 - Okay, you take it from here. - I got it. 1109 01:16:21,534 --> 01:16:22,897 Everything's gonna be okay. 1110 01:16:26,337 --> 01:16:28,566 What you gotta say about that, huh! 1111 01:16:32,844 --> 01:16:35,243 You're telling me our guys can't handle... 1112 01:16:35,413 --> 01:16:38,643 ...some neighborhood night-watching losers! 1113 01:16:38,817 --> 01:16:41,683 We can't even put a scare into these people! 1114 01:16:41,854 --> 01:16:43,581 The main guy who got in the way... 1115 01:16:43,755 --> 01:16:46,917 ...is the same one who's bringing old biddies into Rafaela Salon. 1116 01:16:47,090 --> 01:16:48,284 My aunt goes there. 1117 01:16:48,458 --> 01:16:51,858 She says besides the sex, the guy gives a pretty good haircut. 1118 01:16:52,029 --> 01:16:54,155 Don't talk to me about that dump. 1119 01:16:54,332 --> 01:16:58,825 I've got a huge, classy hotel standing there... 1120 01:16:59,003 --> 01:17:01,526 ...and it's staring at that cheap garbage. 1121 01:17:01,705 --> 01:17:04,036 I want it staring at the Supercuts. 1122 01:17:04,208 --> 01:17:10,009 Now, has anyone made any headway with any of these foreign people! 1123 01:17:10,179 --> 01:17:13,239 I spoke to the manager of Going Out Of Business again yesterday. 1124 01:17:13,417 --> 01:17:16,044 I stated our price and the urgency of the matter... 1125 01:17:16,220 --> 01:17:19,210 ...and he offered me two-thirds less and a Toshiba DVD player. 1126 01:17:19,388 --> 01:17:21,948 The people at Everything Must Go were just as difficult. 1127 01:17:22,125 --> 01:17:25,422 They offered me a Blu-ray disc and a jar of hummus. 1128 01:17:25,929 --> 01:17:27,020 What's hummus! 1129 01:17:27,196 --> 01:17:29,095 It's a very tasty... 1130 01:17:29,265 --> 01:17:30,731 ...diarrhea-like substance. 1131 01:17:30,900 --> 01:17:33,197 Grant Walbridge has a vision. 1132 01:17:33,369 --> 01:17:37,668 A vision for Lower Manhattan to have the first indoor mall... 1133 01:17:37,840 --> 01:17:41,070 ...with its own 300-foot roller coaster. 1134 01:17:41,244 --> 01:17:44,576 You know, you're lucky I have a world-class superhot girlfriend... 1135 01:17:44,747 --> 01:17:48,580 ...with a perfectly proportioned ass-to-breast ratio... 1136 01:17:48,750 --> 01:17:50,614 ...or I'd be furious. 1137 01:17:50,785 --> 01:17:52,775 She is smoking, sir. 1138 01:17:52,955 --> 01:17:54,818 I'd pay to spend an hour with her, sir. 1139 01:17:54,991 --> 01:17:56,251 Let me in on that. 1140 01:17:56,424 --> 01:17:57,981 Well, thank you. 1141 01:17:58,159 --> 01:18:04,222 But if you bitches can't get those people out... 1142 01:18:04,399 --> 01:18:07,128 ...I will find other people who will get the job done. 1143 01:18:07,302 --> 01:18:10,066 However, whenever. 1144 01:18:11,305 --> 01:18:16,641 Walbridge! 1145 01:18:23,984 --> 01:18:25,348 This is where I find them. 1146 01:18:25,519 --> 01:18:28,784 But I don't know if it's same people who try to Neosporin salon. 1147 01:18:28,957 --> 01:18:32,824 But you caught them writing this crap, so, what do you do! 1148 01:18:34,995 --> 01:18:37,827 - You don't mess with the Zohan. - Check it. 1149 01:18:37,998 --> 01:18:38,986 - Disco. - Disco. 1150 01:18:39,166 --> 01:18:40,154 - Good. - Good. 1151 01:18:40,334 --> 01:18:42,823 Why did you do this to Naseef's store, huh! 1152 01:18:43,002 --> 01:18:44,469 Why you blame the Israelis! 1153 01:18:44,638 --> 01:18:46,537 We come to work, go out of business. 1154 01:18:46,707 --> 01:18:49,573 No, no, no. Is not Israeli who do this. 1155 01:18:49,743 --> 01:18:52,506 I do community watch. Don't worry, it's all taken care of. 1156 01:18:52,680 --> 01:18:56,046 Not Israeli! Who else would write "Arab go home"! 1157 01:18:56,215 --> 01:18:59,741 Oh, I don't know, just maybe 99 percent of the world. 1158 01:19:00,620 --> 01:19:02,610 - You see what he says! - That was joke. 1159 01:19:02,789 --> 01:19:06,451 Come on, come on. You guys get along here, stop this. 1160 01:19:06,626 --> 01:19:10,721 Yeah, here it's okay. It's just there, the war is never going to end. 1161 01:19:11,397 --> 01:19:14,764 You know, we were so close to peace before the asshole shot Rabin. 1162 01:19:15,901 --> 01:19:17,265 Bush, he see the big picture. 1163 01:19:17,436 --> 01:19:19,869 Bush no want peace, he set it all back. 1164 01:19:20,038 --> 01:19:23,474 What about Bush's wife! This is a wife I would get sticky with. 1165 01:19:23,642 --> 01:19:25,768 I would do this. I would do this. 1166 01:19:25,944 --> 01:19:28,639 - Yes, yes. - What about Clinton! I would do Hillary. 1167 01:19:30,549 --> 01:19:31,743 The big legs. 1168 01:19:31,918 --> 01:19:34,851 Yeah, she look strict, like she's going to teach me a lesson. 1169 01:19:35,020 --> 01:19:37,180 - Yes, discipline. - You know what's funny! 1170 01:19:37,355 --> 01:19:39,117 I like Chelsea. 1171 01:19:39,290 --> 01:19:40,881 You're crazy. 1172 01:19:42,227 --> 01:19:43,784 She has beautiful legs. 1173 01:19:44,763 --> 01:19:48,755 If I want legs, I'll take Obama's wife. She has legs. 1174 01:19:48,934 --> 01:19:50,992 This is what happens when they talk politics. 1175 01:19:51,169 --> 01:19:53,068 No, no, no, wife of McCain! 1176 01:19:53,238 --> 01:19:56,468 She has the ass, and you know she's not getting any. 1177 01:19:57,676 --> 01:20:02,078 I understand my assistant explained the job to you. 1178 01:20:02,245 --> 01:20:04,907 He told us. You wanna get some people out your building... 1179 01:20:05,082 --> 01:20:08,016 ...so you can build some kind of roller coaster mall. 1180 01:20:08,185 --> 01:20:11,415 Sir, I just wanna thank you for this opportunity. 1181 01:20:11,589 --> 01:20:15,752 I mean, it's a gift to mess with the Jews and the terrorists on the same night. 1182 01:20:15,926 --> 01:20:17,257 I mean, it's like... 1183 01:20:17,428 --> 01:20:20,328 - It's like... - Christmas in July. 1184 01:20:20,497 --> 01:20:22,361 It's like Christmas in July. 1185 01:20:22,532 --> 01:20:25,500 Right now we are scheduled to sabotage... 1186 01:20:25,669 --> 01:20:28,534 ... a black peoples' parade in Chicago... 1187 01:20:28,705 --> 01:20:30,934 ...but we can move that. 1188 01:20:31,107 --> 01:20:34,542 Well, I'm not really quite sure how you move a parade. 1189 01:20:34,711 --> 01:20:37,201 That's easy, it's just a phone call. 1190 01:20:37,881 --> 01:20:41,213 Well, we'll be calling back to make the arrangements. 1191 01:20:41,384 --> 01:20:45,286 Can I just say that I don't like most rich people, but you get it. 1192 01:20:45,454 --> 01:20:47,944 We built this country on the right to bear arms. 1193 01:20:48,123 --> 01:20:52,024 Now they're trying to tell me how many bullets my gun can shoot per second. 1194 01:20:52,194 --> 01:20:55,925 They're trying to tell me whether I can stockpile weapons... 1195 01:20:56,098 --> 01:20:57,793 ...in the shed behind my house. 1196 01:20:57,967 --> 01:21:00,559 - Right, by God. - Anyway, you're a rich guy that gets it. 1197 01:21:00,736 --> 01:21:02,999 You and Mel Gibson. 1198 01:21:05,441 --> 01:21:08,967 Mel Gibson. Not too shabby. 1199 01:21:11,446 --> 01:21:13,470 Welcome to Hezbollah customer service. 1200 01:21:13,648 --> 01:21:15,081 All lines are busy now. 1201 01:21:15,250 --> 01:21:20,516 Your call will be received in... minutes. 1202 01:21:21,290 --> 01:21:23,519 Come on with this. How we find Phantom! 1203 01:21:23,692 --> 01:21:26,990 Well, he probably hang at the muchentuchen restaurant. 1204 01:21:27,161 --> 01:21:29,685 Okay, but which! He have, like, 200. 1205 01:21:29,864 --> 01:21:31,057 Probably in Amman. 1206 01:21:31,232 --> 01:21:33,426 In downtown he get the hottest poochibaba. 1207 01:21:39,607 --> 01:21:42,370 What's the area code of Amman! 1208 01:22:23,383 --> 01:22:24,780 Hello. Phantom Muchentuchen. 1209 01:22:24,951 --> 01:22:27,510 Yes. I want speak Phantom. 1210 01:22:27,687 --> 01:22:29,620 What say! No English. 1211 01:22:30,022 --> 01:22:31,511 Idiot. 1212 01:22:31,690 --> 01:22:34,157 Want speak to Phantom. 1213 01:22:34,326 --> 01:22:37,226 No, no, no. Phantom not here. Phantom Muchentuchen. 1214 01:22:37,396 --> 01:22:40,762 Yeah, yeah, I know. But Phantom no come! 1215 01:22:40,933 --> 01:22:42,524 But what about for poonibaba! 1216 01:22:42,701 --> 01:22:46,101 No, no, poonibaba at store on 3rd and Lachalta. 1217 01:22:46,272 --> 01:22:48,831 Oh, okay. So you have number for store! 1218 01:22:49,008 --> 01:22:50,634 You call information. 1219 01:22:50,809 --> 01:22:53,242 You don't have number for other store! 1220 01:22:55,680 --> 01:22:57,078 It's somewhere. I don't know. 1221 01:22:57,248 --> 01:23:03,186 Come on, get number! I calling from America, fry bitch! I very important. 1222 01:23:03,354 --> 01:23:05,185 Salim, the kids. 1223 01:23:05,356 --> 01:23:08,483 When she is grown up she will understand! 1224 01:23:10,094 --> 01:23:11,788 Hello. 1225 01:23:13,897 --> 01:23:17,162 I find the Zohan. You not kill the Zohan. 1226 01:23:17,335 --> 01:23:18,925 I kill the Zohan. 1227 01:23:19,102 --> 01:23:21,969 No, you did not. I find him in America. 1228 01:23:22,140 --> 01:23:24,732 I prove. I send you picture on cell. 1229 01:23:25,375 --> 01:23:27,137 Okay. Bring this. 1230 01:23:27,311 --> 01:23:28,505 I am bringing. 1231 01:23:34,918 --> 01:23:35,940 You see? 1232 01:23:36,119 --> 01:23:39,645 But the hairstyle, it is hideous. 1233 01:23:39,822 --> 01:23:40,914 This is same Zohan. 1234 01:23:41,091 --> 01:23:44,081 What he thinking! He look like guy from Who's the Boss? 1235 01:23:44,260 --> 01:23:46,524 Look, this is same Zohan. 1236 01:23:46,697 --> 01:23:50,996 Everybody think you big hero. But I tell everyone you not big hero. 1237 01:23:51,168 --> 01:23:53,135 Okay, okay, okay! What you want, huh! 1238 01:23:53,303 --> 01:23:55,827 I want muchentuchen restaurant chain. 1239 01:23:56,005 --> 01:23:57,164 No. 1240 01:23:57,340 --> 01:24:00,035 But if I tell, you no have chain anyway. 1241 01:24:00,209 --> 01:24:02,472 So you not give any incentive. 1242 01:24:03,846 --> 01:24:06,780 Okay. I want 50 percent of muchentuchen chain. 1243 01:24:06,949 --> 01:24:10,349 - Phantom & Salim Muchentuchen. - No. 1244 01:24:10,519 --> 01:24:12,145 - Twenty-five percent. - No. 1245 01:24:12,321 --> 01:24:15,312 I want yogurt shop attached to store, like food court. 1246 01:24:15,792 --> 01:24:16,814 Okay. 1247 01:24:16,993 --> 01:24:18,892 - I get profits from store. - No. 1248 01:24:19,060 --> 01:24:20,550 - Some profits. - No. 1249 01:24:20,729 --> 01:24:22,697 I get free yogurt when I come to store. 1250 01:24:23,398 --> 01:24:25,160 Okay. Within reason. 1251 01:24:25,333 --> 01:24:26,857 And I want some of your wives. 1252 01:24:27,302 --> 01:24:28,633 How many wives you want? 1253 01:24:28,804 --> 01:24:30,133 - Twenty. - No. 1254 01:24:30,305 --> 01:24:32,135 - I sleep with one wife. - No. 1255 01:24:32,307 --> 01:24:34,137 She give one pee-pee touch. 1256 01:24:35,044 --> 01:24:36,066 Okay. 1257 01:24:53,528 --> 01:24:56,587 My friends, look what I do. I hook you all up with tickets. 1258 01:24:56,765 --> 01:24:59,527 This Walbridge guy's trying to kiss salon's ass... 1259 01:24:59,701 --> 01:25:02,396 ...so he give me 20 tickets hackyside. 1260 01:25:02,569 --> 01:25:06,527 Very nice. Hassan, you see this! 1261 01:25:07,541 --> 01:25:10,737 This is where you're going to be when Israel kick your ass. 1262 01:25:10,911 --> 01:25:14,209 Yes! No, you're gonna give it up like you give up Gaza Strip, huh! 1263 01:25:16,250 --> 01:25:18,217 Excuse us. 1264 01:25:20,054 --> 01:25:21,145 I have to show you this. 1265 01:25:21,322 --> 01:25:24,917 Listen to Fatima Zaad's gossip column on Page Nine. 1266 01:25:25,092 --> 01:25:28,184 "A hall of fame terrorist is visiting New York... 1267 01:25:28,361 --> 01:25:30,692 ...and not for the muchentuchen." 1268 01:25:31,398 --> 01:25:34,126 - Phantom's coming to the City! - There's more. 1269 01:25:34,300 --> 01:25:38,463 "He's coming to hacky sack a certain scrappy Israeli... 1270 01:25:38,638 --> 01:25:42,869 ...who says he cuts hair, but really cuts terrorist." 1271 01:25:44,510 --> 01:25:45,771 He's ruined everything. 1272 01:25:45,945 --> 01:25:48,242 Why you say! You the Zohan. 1273 01:25:48,414 --> 01:25:50,904 He come to hacky sack, you take him out. 1274 01:25:51,083 --> 01:25:53,607 No, I don't care. I come here to start new life. 1275 01:25:53,785 --> 01:25:56,686 Get new woman to love and make the bang-boom. 1276 01:25:56,856 --> 01:25:59,085 Now my life's followed me here. 1277 01:26:07,933 --> 01:26:10,765 Maybe Phantom no care anymore. 1278 01:27:05,790 --> 01:27:08,314 You're an Israeli counterterrorist! 1279 01:27:08,492 --> 01:27:09,890 - I knew it. - What! 1280 01:27:10,060 --> 01:27:13,357 Well, the Israeli part. Because he's circumcised. 1281 01:27:14,330 --> 01:27:17,195 How is Dalia going to forgive me! 1282 01:27:17,366 --> 01:27:18,765 I'm liar. 1283 01:27:18,935 --> 01:27:21,869 She Palestinian, I'm no Australian. 1284 01:27:22,038 --> 01:27:24,972 You know, Scrappy... I mean, "Zohard." 1285 01:27:25,141 --> 01:27:28,166 - if there's one thing I've learned from all my relationships... 1286 01:27:28,344 --> 01:27:32,473 ...with Jewish men, Puerto Rican men, aborigines... 1287 01:27:34,149 --> 01:27:37,117 ...you can't have secrets in a relationship. 1288 01:27:37,286 --> 01:27:42,086 You tell her the truth and if she really is this special one... 1289 01:27:42,257 --> 01:27:44,919 ...everything will work out just fine. 1290 01:27:45,661 --> 01:27:47,753 I like this. 1291 01:27:52,766 --> 01:27:56,826 I am sorry I not tell you the truth before I make you fall head over tits for me. 1292 01:27:57,002 --> 01:28:01,028 But believe me, I am wanting you even more. 1293 01:28:02,042 --> 01:28:04,770 I know you're not from where you say. 1294 01:28:04,943 --> 01:28:07,035 I see how you look at the Fizzy Bubblech. 1295 01:28:07,212 --> 01:28:11,238 Then why you like this! Is it because I Israel and you Palestine! 1296 01:28:11,417 --> 01:28:12,941 Come on, tell me in my face. 1297 01:28:13,119 --> 01:28:16,554 Zohan, you're not just Israel. 1298 01:28:16,722 --> 01:28:18,621 You Israel. 1299 01:28:18,791 --> 01:28:20,758 But you say hate is stupid. 1300 01:28:20,926 --> 01:28:24,725 That's why you run to America, to get away from the hate and the fighting. 1301 01:28:25,330 --> 01:28:28,422 I was even thinking we let all this cool down... 1302 01:28:28,599 --> 01:28:30,566 ...I go out and get us a house over there. 1303 01:28:30,735 --> 01:28:33,329 We move in together, we cut the hair... 1304 01:28:33,505 --> 01:28:36,268 ...make the children, cut the children's hair. 1305 01:28:36,442 --> 01:28:38,807 Zohan, I can't. 1306 01:28:39,677 --> 01:28:43,271 I have open mind, but you Israeli counterterrorist. 1307 01:28:43,448 --> 01:28:45,142 No, no, no. I no do this anymore. 1308 01:28:45,316 --> 01:28:48,045 You put the fork in the fat lady, it's over. 1309 01:28:48,219 --> 01:28:50,379 She's had enough to eat. This is a promise. 1310 01:28:50,555 --> 01:28:53,045 It doesn't matter. 1311 01:28:53,224 --> 01:28:55,316 You don't know my family. 1312 01:28:55,493 --> 01:28:57,960 Or maybe you do. 1313 01:28:58,130 --> 01:28:59,390 What does this mean! 1314 01:29:00,630 --> 01:29:02,393 Just leave. 1315 01:29:02,567 --> 01:29:04,500 Please, it can't be. 1316 01:29:08,940 --> 01:29:11,271 Maybe is for best. 1317 01:29:12,109 --> 01:29:15,237 You deserve a safe life. 1318 01:29:16,580 --> 01:29:18,740 But know... 1319 01:29:19,684 --> 01:29:22,913 ...you will always be my special one. 1320 01:29:34,531 --> 01:29:36,623 - Zohan. - Dalia. 1321 01:29:39,269 --> 01:29:40,701 I got you a gift. 1322 01:29:40,871 --> 01:29:42,997 A gift. 1323 01:29:46,775 --> 01:29:49,265 They come out with new book! 1324 01:29:49,445 --> 01:29:54,279 Yes. They do it every 21 years, I think. 1325 01:29:54,449 --> 01:29:56,643 Just a slight update from yours. 1326 01:30:02,358 --> 01:30:04,348 No feathering! 1327 01:30:04,526 --> 01:30:05,822 Or scrunching! 1328 01:30:06,561 --> 01:30:07,857 Where's the style! 1329 01:30:08,897 --> 01:30:13,630 But I know this is nice gesture. Thank you. 1330 01:30:14,903 --> 01:30:16,529 Goodbye, Zohan. 1331 01:30:16,704 --> 01:30:18,933 Goodbye. 1332 01:30:25,379 --> 01:30:27,471 Goodbye. 1333 01:30:52,538 --> 01:30:54,199 I'm sorry it didn't work out. 1334 01:30:54,374 --> 01:30:55,863 Me too. 1335 01:30:56,043 --> 01:30:57,303 You still go to Hacky Sack! 1336 01:30:57,477 --> 01:31:00,445 Yes, it's better I find him than he finds me, huh! 1337 01:31:00,614 --> 01:31:03,673 I got your back. I get you best army guys in city. 1338 01:31:03,850 --> 01:31:06,818 No, no, no. I handle this alone. 1339 01:31:16,796 --> 01:31:18,592 Hello! Let's go. 1340 01:31:36,915 --> 01:31:39,383 Go. Go, go, go. 1341 01:32:04,476 --> 01:32:08,912 Ladies and gentlemen, here are your Israeli Blue Stars... 1342 01:32:09,080 --> 01:32:13,243 ... and your Lebanese Trees! 1343 01:32:24,928 --> 01:32:27,157 Fizzy Bubblech. 1344 01:32:39,742 --> 01:32:42,233 What's with the cheers! Wasn't that guy a terrorist! 1345 01:32:42,412 --> 01:32:44,902 Yeah, people used to boo you too, John, you remember! 1346 01:32:45,081 --> 01:32:46,604 I wasn't a terrorist. 1347 01:32:46,783 --> 01:32:49,046 You were pretty bad. 1348 01:32:51,054 --> 01:32:55,013 I brought this great event to New York to tell the world... 1349 01:32:55,192 --> 01:32:57,159 ...that New York City... 1350 01:32:57,327 --> 01:33:01,558 ...loves its foreign immigrant-types from the Middle East. 1351 01:33:02,698 --> 01:33:07,431 My hot girlfriend and I know that we can all get along... 1352 01:33:07,603 --> 01:33:13,062 ...whether you're white, or brown, or khaki, whatever that color is. 1353 01:33:13,241 --> 01:33:17,575 And here to sing the American national anthem... 1354 01:33:17,746 --> 01:33:20,213 ...a superstar we all love: 1355 01:33:20,382 --> 01:33:22,611 Mariah Carey! 1356 01:33:48,977 --> 01:33:50,499 Goal! 1357 01:33:50,678 --> 01:33:52,941 And disco break! 1358 01:34:08,129 --> 01:34:11,460 Disco, disco, good, good! Disco, disco, good, good! 1359 01:34:11,631 --> 01:34:15,498 Disco, disco, good, good! Disco, disco, good, good! 1360 01:34:17,704 --> 01:34:19,500 Okay, Mariah. Couple more. 1361 01:34:19,672 --> 01:34:22,470 This one's from Sheik Fayalah of Lebanon. 1362 01:34:22,642 --> 01:34:25,132 He wants you to write "All I want for Ramadan is you." 1363 01:34:25,311 --> 01:34:26,469 Okay, this again! 1364 01:34:26,646 --> 01:34:27,804 - I know. - All right. 1365 01:34:27,980 --> 01:34:30,004 MC, there's a Mr. Phantom here to see you. 1366 01:34:30,182 --> 01:34:32,308 Who's Phantom, a dude trying to be a rapper! 1367 01:34:32,484 --> 01:34:35,544 - Because I don't know who that is. - He says he's a killing machine. 1368 01:34:36,289 --> 01:34:37,983 Whatever. Okay. 1369 01:34:40,293 --> 01:34:42,556 Miss Mariah Carey. 1370 01:34:43,897 --> 01:34:46,865 It is a pleasure to meet you. 1371 01:34:47,032 --> 01:34:50,592 Thank you. Nice to meet you. Hi, how are you! 1372 01:34:50,769 --> 01:34:54,226 Miss Carey, your high notes are so beautiful... 1373 01:34:54,406 --> 01:34:58,808 ...like a Scud missile soaring towards its target. 1374 01:34:59,511 --> 01:35:01,808 - Thank you. That's really nice. - Thank you. 1375 01:35:01,980 --> 01:35:03,674 So you know I'm not dead. 1376 01:35:05,317 --> 01:35:07,546 Oh, I sorry I startle. 1377 01:35:07,718 --> 01:35:11,585 I was not startle. I saw a bee. 1378 01:35:11,756 --> 01:35:14,223 There's a bee! I'm allergic. It's not even funny. 1379 01:35:14,392 --> 01:35:16,883 No, no, no. Look. The bee is gone. He's gone. 1380 01:35:17,062 --> 01:35:19,325 Mariah, believe me, there's no bee. 1381 01:35:19,497 --> 01:35:21,362 I'm allergic. You know I'm allergic. 1382 01:35:21,533 --> 01:35:26,332 No, no, no. The bee... Forget the bee. The bee is made up, it's fiction. 1383 01:35:26,504 --> 01:35:28,835 It was a black wasp. 1384 01:35:29,005 --> 01:35:30,995 - promising me that there was no bee here. 1385 01:35:31,174 --> 01:35:32,868 There was no bee. He says the bee... 1386 01:35:33,043 --> 01:35:36,274 ...so he can look more like a person who would not scream like this. 1387 01:35:36,447 --> 01:35:38,744 - Are you sure! - I promise you. 1388 01:35:38,915 --> 01:35:40,246 I beg your cleavage's pardon. 1389 01:35:40,418 --> 01:35:44,854 We will be out of your bouncy hair in a jiffy. Is between us. 1390 01:35:45,022 --> 01:35:47,682 I was going to kill you tomorrow... 1391 01:35:47,858 --> 01:35:54,262 ...but I guess jackass can't wait to die for real. 1392 01:35:54,431 --> 01:35:56,090 Do y'all want us to leave! Because we can go. 1393 01:35:56,265 --> 01:35:57,926 - No, no, no. - No, no, no. 1394 01:35:58,101 --> 01:36:00,796 - We are not even here. - Almost done. Give it a few seconds. 1395 01:36:02,873 --> 01:36:05,340 I came here to the States to stop the fighting... 1396 01:36:05,509 --> 01:36:07,533 ...but I guess this will never end, eh! 1397 01:36:08,645 --> 01:36:12,410 Oh, Zohan does not want to fight anymore. 1398 01:36:12,581 --> 01:36:14,070 Scared of bees, huh! 1399 01:36:14,250 --> 01:36:17,447 Now I'm afraid of the bees! I'm afraid of the bees! 1400 01:36:17,620 --> 01:36:19,747 What! You're the one that brings up the bees. 1401 01:36:20,990 --> 01:36:23,514 Your hair. Your hair does not do you justice. 1402 01:36:23,693 --> 01:36:25,990 You don't like this hair! I think you're alone on this one. 1403 01:36:26,162 --> 01:36:27,627 Everyone else going crazy for it. 1404 01:36:27,796 --> 01:36:30,287 I like the 'fro better. 1405 01:36:30,467 --> 01:36:31,762 Hang on, I'm getting a call. 1406 01:36:33,868 --> 01:36:34,959 Michael, what is! 1407 01:36:35,136 --> 01:36:37,296 Zohan? We have a problem here. 1408 01:36:37,472 --> 01:36:40,133 - Where you get that! - This is a Sony Ericsson. 1409 01:36:40,308 --> 01:36:42,742 - It has Bluetooth! - Of course it has Bluetooth. 1410 01:36:42,912 --> 01:36:45,243 I can never figure that Bluetooth shit out, though. 1411 01:36:45,414 --> 01:36:48,006 Oh, no, it's very simple. You sync it to your PowerBook. 1412 01:36:48,182 --> 01:36:50,809 - Tell her. Phantom will tell you. - Mac or PC! 1413 01:36:51,487 --> 01:36:53,647 - Mac. - You have MySpace! 1414 01:36:53,821 --> 01:36:56,050 The record company does. It's not really mine. 1415 01:36:56,224 --> 01:36:59,192 Please, add me as a friend. 1416 01:36:59,994 --> 01:37:01,016 Sure, yeah, yeah. 1417 01:37:01,194 --> 01:37:04,186 Sure, as Huge Boner. We'll add you tomorrow. 1418 01:37:04,399 --> 01:37:05,490 Michael, what is! 1419 01:37:05,667 --> 01:37:11,832 There's a bunch of guys and they are lighting fires and it's getting pretty bad. 1420 01:37:14,242 --> 01:37:16,232 No. Stay where you are. 1421 01:37:16,410 --> 01:37:17,898 Yeah, we'll stay up here. 1422 01:37:18,445 --> 01:37:20,708 - What! Where you go! - I have bigger fish to swim. 1423 01:37:20,881 --> 01:37:23,644 - Mariah, I love the newest album. - Thank you. 1424 01:37:47,474 --> 01:37:49,998 The Zohan. 1425 01:37:53,446 --> 01:37:54,673 My pita shop. 1426 01:37:56,617 --> 01:37:57,844 They burned it down. 1427 01:38:11,230 --> 01:38:12,560 Why you do this! 1428 01:38:12,732 --> 01:38:15,359 We no do this. We at Hacky Sack as much as the next guy. 1429 01:38:15,534 --> 01:38:19,299 And I wish that we should do this, after you write that shit on my wall. 1430 01:38:21,306 --> 01:38:22,863 Across street! 1431 01:38:23,041 --> 01:38:25,565 - Waleed, Waleed. Look, Waleed! - No. My store. 1432 01:38:25,744 --> 01:38:29,907 You people ruined my store. You people ruined my store! 1433 01:38:35,120 --> 01:38:37,314 What I miss! I was stuck on West Broadway. 1434 01:38:37,489 --> 01:38:40,116 The Israeli burned down my store! 1435 01:38:40,291 --> 01:38:41,587 No, no, no. 1436 01:38:41,760 --> 01:38:43,521 I save store. 1437 01:38:43,694 --> 01:38:46,287 Then I kill the Zohan. 1438 01:38:48,732 --> 01:38:51,256 Phantom, kick its ass. 1439 01:38:51,435 --> 01:38:52,765 Jab it to the right. 1440 01:38:52,936 --> 01:38:54,800 Stick and move, Phantom. Stick and move. 1441 01:38:55,506 --> 01:38:57,996 He can't do this alone. 1442 01:39:01,445 --> 01:39:02,844 Don't back down. Kick its ass. 1443 01:39:26,235 --> 01:39:28,202 Phantom. 1444 01:39:31,974 --> 01:39:33,338 Why you help me! 1445 01:39:33,875 --> 01:39:37,072 Because I'm through with this. 1446 01:39:37,246 --> 01:39:38,542 I no more fight. 1447 01:39:40,048 --> 01:39:43,381 You do whatever you want, but I no fight back. 1448 01:39:44,220 --> 01:39:46,380 It's trick, huh! 1449 01:39:46,555 --> 01:39:47,680 No. 1450 01:39:50,425 --> 01:39:52,893 - Fight back. - No. 1451 01:39:53,061 --> 01:39:56,052 - Fight back! - No. 1452 01:39:57,666 --> 01:39:58,791 Fight back, Zohan. 1453 01:39:58,967 --> 01:40:01,197 Fight him back. What are you doing! Fight back. 1454 01:40:03,339 --> 01:40:04,395 No. 1455 01:40:04,573 --> 01:40:07,838 This is not fun for anybody. 1456 01:40:08,009 --> 01:40:09,373 Why you not fight back! 1457 01:40:09,544 --> 01:40:13,205 Because he know better. He show you he change. 1458 01:40:13,614 --> 01:40:14,637 Sister! 1459 01:40:14,815 --> 01:40:16,805 When you gonna grow up, Fatoush! 1460 01:40:16,984 --> 01:40:18,178 Fatoush! 1461 01:40:18,353 --> 01:40:21,013 No, no, no Fatoush. 1462 01:40:21,188 --> 01:40:24,715 Is Phantom now. And is my business. 1463 01:40:24,893 --> 01:40:27,519 Is my man, Fatoush. 1464 01:40:27,695 --> 01:40:29,162 You're my woman! 1465 01:40:29,331 --> 01:40:30,854 You Phantom's sister! 1466 01:40:31,031 --> 01:40:32,930 You tapping the Zohan! 1467 01:40:33,467 --> 01:40:35,297 You settle for a pee-pee touch! 1468 01:40:35,469 --> 01:40:38,698 I wouldn't say "settle." It was negotiation. 1469 01:40:38,873 --> 01:40:40,100 Fatoush is talking. 1470 01:40:41,609 --> 01:40:44,770 Yes. I am Phantom's sister. 1471 01:40:46,213 --> 01:40:50,046 And, no, Fatoush, I am not tapping the Zohan. 1472 01:40:50,217 --> 01:40:54,118 But I think I love him. 1473 01:40:56,589 --> 01:40:57,919 This is good. 1474 01:40:58,091 --> 01:41:00,752 Of course you love me. I'm very good man. 1475 01:41:04,497 --> 01:41:07,897 Brother, here in America we're the same. 1476 01:41:08,067 --> 01:41:11,934 We just people trying to get jobs cutting hair, driving cabs... 1477 01:41:12,105 --> 01:41:14,095 ...selling crappy stereo equipment. 1478 01:41:14,273 --> 01:41:16,365 - Hey. Is Sony guts. - Whatever. 1479 01:41:16,543 --> 01:41:21,569 The point is, we are thousands of miles away from all this hate... 1480 01:41:21,747 --> 01:41:24,408 ...and we live together just fine. 1481 01:41:24,583 --> 01:41:26,140 We do. 1482 01:41:27,753 --> 01:41:28,912 We do. 1483 01:41:29,088 --> 01:41:33,990 Come on, people. Where is the hate! Anyone! 1484 01:41:34,493 --> 01:41:36,323 - I resent. - Resent is good. 1485 01:41:36,494 --> 01:41:37,791 What! What do you resent! 1486 01:41:37,963 --> 01:41:39,053 People don't like us. 1487 01:41:39,230 --> 01:41:42,324 Come on, is not easy for us. People don't like us too. 1488 01:41:42,501 --> 01:41:46,129 - Why! - Because they think we are you. 1489 01:41:47,605 --> 01:41:49,971 We do look alike. You got to admit this. Come on. 1490 01:41:50,909 --> 01:41:53,501 Waleed looks Mexican, to be honest. 1491 01:41:54,713 --> 01:41:55,939 Yeah, he do. 1492 01:41:57,615 --> 01:41:59,673 You know, ever since the stupid terrorists... 1493 01:41:59,851 --> 01:42:01,613 ...everyone think we are terrorists. 1494 01:42:01,786 --> 01:42:03,685 Look, Bashir, no offense... 1495 01:42:03,855 --> 01:42:07,085 ...but if you sat next to me on a plane, I might want to get off too. 1496 01:42:10,027 --> 01:42:11,254 He's right. 1497 01:42:11,429 --> 01:42:15,865 But how could I not hate when you stole my goat! 1498 01:42:16,701 --> 01:42:19,191 I am sorry about your goat. 1499 01:42:19,369 --> 01:42:23,202 He was a good goat. I treat him like member of the family. 1500 01:42:24,741 --> 01:42:27,208 - Really! - Yes. 1501 01:42:27,377 --> 01:42:30,436 Did you rub his chin! 1502 01:42:30,614 --> 01:42:32,581 Like this! 1503 01:42:32,749 --> 01:42:36,707 Yes, sometimes for hours. He would make face if I stop. 1504 01:42:36,887 --> 01:42:38,377 He make the face! 1505 01:42:38,556 --> 01:42:41,421 Oh, the face. The face. 1506 01:42:41,590 --> 01:42:44,114 That's it, that's it. That looks just like him. 1507 01:42:44,293 --> 01:42:47,955 As long as he was happy. 1508 01:42:48,130 --> 01:42:49,721 Is good. Very happy. 1509 01:42:52,635 --> 01:42:54,499 Holy shichumetz. 1510 01:42:54,670 --> 01:42:56,296 I see what is. 1511 01:42:59,708 --> 01:43:01,402 Those are cool. Who make this! 1512 01:43:28,769 --> 01:43:31,896 You see this! Bastard landlord. 1513 01:43:32,072 --> 01:43:33,470 He tell us go to Hacky Sack... 1514 01:43:33,640 --> 01:43:36,301 ...so he can make it look like we burn each other's store. 1515 01:43:36,476 --> 01:43:38,670 To make us look like we enemies. 1516 01:43:38,846 --> 01:43:40,368 This the real enemy. 1517 01:43:41,481 --> 01:43:43,846 I thought the whole place was going down. 1518 01:43:44,017 --> 01:43:45,348 Oh, we're waiting on them, sir. 1519 01:43:45,518 --> 01:43:51,514 We're drawing them closer, like a fat queer to a dick sandwich. 1520 01:43:53,192 --> 01:43:54,886 Aharon, get weapons from truck. 1521 01:43:55,061 --> 01:43:57,187 No, no, no. I wanna minimize collateral damage. 1522 01:43:57,363 --> 01:43:59,227 - I do this alone. - I do this alone. 1523 01:43:59,398 --> 01:44:01,297 - We do this together. - I go myself. 1524 01:44:01,467 --> 01:44:05,459 No, no, no. Listen. Come on, already, big guy. 1525 01:44:05,638 --> 01:44:07,798 Let it go. We're on the same side, here. 1526 01:44:07,973 --> 01:44:09,837 Don't "big guy" me, big guy. 1527 01:44:10,008 --> 01:44:12,374 Look, you think I didn't want to run like you did! 1528 01:44:12,545 --> 01:44:14,671 - Is no pressure here. - What! 1529 01:44:14,847 --> 01:44:19,942 Listen, all I ever wanted since high school was to go to States and... 1530 01:44:20,118 --> 01:44:23,383 - What! - This hard to say. 1531 01:44:23,556 --> 01:44:25,648 Tell me, what is! 1532 01:44:27,126 --> 01:44:28,956 And sell shoes. 1533 01:44:29,127 --> 01:44:30,820 I love shoes. 1534 01:44:30,995 --> 01:44:34,761 No. That's great. I love to cut hair. 1535 01:44:34,933 --> 01:44:36,593 There is nothing wrong with that. 1536 01:44:36,768 --> 01:44:38,098 - Tell my parents. - I hear you. 1537 01:44:38,270 --> 01:44:41,170 - They don't understand. - Parents, they never do, huh! 1538 01:44:41,339 --> 01:44:44,705 - Never do. They think they're clever... - You guys going, or what! 1539 01:44:45,243 --> 01:44:47,073 - Yes. Okay, we go. - Yes. We go. 1540 01:44:47,245 --> 01:44:48,575 Come on, let's go. 1541 01:44:48,747 --> 01:44:50,441 Soup's on, boys. 1542 01:44:50,614 --> 01:44:52,444 Hell, yeah! 1543 01:44:57,354 --> 01:44:58,752 What kind of shoes you like! 1544 01:44:58,922 --> 01:45:01,617 You know, Rockport, Ferragamo, the classics. 1545 01:45:07,098 --> 01:45:10,122 You should maybe try Hugo Boss, huh! 1546 01:45:10,301 --> 01:45:12,427 No, no, no. They always cover the toes. 1547 01:45:12,602 --> 01:45:14,626 You stylist, you buy some style shoes. 1548 01:45:14,804 --> 01:45:17,967 Oh, yes, but I'm looking for function too. 1549 01:45:18,141 --> 01:45:21,132 Try mine. It's Kenneth Cole. 1550 01:45:21,312 --> 01:45:23,244 Square toe. 1551 01:45:24,547 --> 01:45:25,673 It is nice. 1552 01:45:25,849 --> 01:45:28,078 This is a fashion but you can wear to work also. 1553 01:45:29,285 --> 01:45:31,445 Yes. Hey, to be honest, it's a little tight. 1554 01:45:31,621 --> 01:45:34,749 - Let me measure. - If you could. 1555 01:45:34,924 --> 01:45:36,948 I'm ready for you. 1556 01:45:37,126 --> 01:45:39,320 Okay, checking the width. 1557 01:45:39,495 --> 01:45:41,428 Triple E. 1558 01:45:41,597 --> 01:45:43,029 This is a big foot, huh! 1559 01:45:43,199 --> 01:45:44,324 You win again. 1560 01:45:44,500 --> 01:45:46,626 Is not a competition. 1561 01:45:46,803 --> 01:45:48,793 I do need to cut my nails. 1562 01:45:48,971 --> 01:45:50,870 We don't know what set off this fight. 1563 01:45:51,040 --> 01:45:53,735 It's apparently between Middle-Eastern merchants. 1564 01:45:53,909 --> 01:45:57,366 - Let's get some insight. - They is no Middle East. Is all fake. 1565 01:45:57,546 --> 01:46:00,343 Is the landlord, the Walbridge guy. He pay... 1566 01:46:00,515 --> 01:46:03,005 Excuse me. Grant Walbridge, the developer? 1567 01:46:03,186 --> 01:46:04,276 Damn it! 1568 01:46:04,453 --> 01:46:07,615 Mariah Carey, I love you. I love you. 1569 01:46:07,789 --> 01:46:11,121 I find you, Mariah. I come to where you are. 1570 01:46:11,293 --> 01:46:14,693 I love you too, horny little man. Buy my new album. 1571 01:46:19,633 --> 01:46:21,759 Zohan. He has a bomb. 1572 01:46:23,604 --> 01:46:25,935 - And puppies. - No. 1573 01:46:26,108 --> 01:46:27,596 I'm gonna blow up this block. 1574 01:46:27,775 --> 01:46:31,040 I'm gonna blow you up, I'm gonna blow up these puppies... 1575 01:46:31,213 --> 01:46:34,613 ...and we all going to hell together, because I hate these puppies. 1576 01:46:34,783 --> 01:46:37,841 We have no time. We have to make the sonic power, quick. 1577 01:46:38,017 --> 01:46:40,986 - You mean the sound! - Yes. 1578 01:46:41,155 --> 01:46:45,454 But Arab and Jews have not made sound for thousands of years. 1579 01:46:45,626 --> 01:46:48,491 - Now is time, my friend. - Thirty seconds. 1580 01:46:48,661 --> 01:46:52,994 You can't do nothing about it, Rabbi Towelhead. 1581 01:46:57,972 --> 01:47:00,439 No, no, no. Let me take the melody, you go harmony. 1582 01:47:00,607 --> 01:47:02,471 - Yes. Okay, okay. - Here we go. 1583 01:47:28,902 --> 01:47:31,869 Well, hello, stranger. 1584 01:47:32,037 --> 01:47:34,095 Care for some chips! 1585 01:47:36,208 --> 01:47:37,607 Puppies! 1586 01:47:37,777 --> 01:47:40,869 That dog is incredibly cute. Did you bring that dog! 1587 01:47:41,046 --> 01:47:42,740 Barry Manilow used to have a beagle... 1588 01:47:47,853 --> 01:47:52,289 Listen, I'm Grant Walbridge. This is all a mistake and... 1589 01:47:58,197 --> 01:48:00,060 Keep it together. Keep it together. 1590 01:48:04,602 --> 01:48:06,626 No! 1591 01:48:08,005 --> 01:48:10,131 My life is ruined. 1592 01:48:10,307 --> 01:48:11,797 They were perfect. 1593 01:48:11,976 --> 01:48:13,602 The ratio. 1594 01:48:13,778 --> 01:48:15,039 Why! 1595 01:48:17,748 --> 01:48:19,408 No, no, no. Stop. 1596 01:48:22,787 --> 01:48:26,222 What the heck are you doing! Why you do this! 1597 01:48:26,389 --> 01:48:29,755 Sorry. Sorry. I got excited. 1598 01:48:29,926 --> 01:48:33,019 Okay, we fix. We make mall, but this... 1599 01:48:33,196 --> 01:48:36,653 It's fine. Yes, it's fine. We'll be fine. 1600 01:48:36,833 --> 01:48:38,959 It's all b'seder. 1601 01:48:50,447 --> 01:48:53,676 Goat rides! Everybody, goat ride. 1602 01:48:53,849 --> 01:48:56,339 The most wonderful goat in the world. 1603 01:49:00,489 --> 01:49:03,458 You come. Come, come. Come on. Come on, now. Give ride. 1604 01:49:09,865 --> 01:49:12,196 I'm almost done. 1605 01:49:12,368 --> 01:49:14,858 - I love it. - Yes, of course you do. 1606 01:49:15,036 --> 01:49:16,936 I had fun shampooing your hair... 1607 01:49:17,105 --> 01:49:20,302 ...but I'd rather be licking it off those melons. 1608 01:49:20,676 --> 01:49:22,199 I knew he had it in him. 1609 01:49:22,378 --> 01:49:25,505 Yeah, he sounds like his mother. 1610 01:49:25,680 --> 01:49:28,547 Maybe I'll bleach your nipples and slap you in your face. 1611 01:49:28,717 --> 01:49:31,879 - Oh, now he's gone too far. - That was disturbing. Too much. 1612 01:49:32,053 --> 01:49:34,748 Zohan! Can you help this woman, please. 1613 01:49:34,923 --> 01:49:37,584 Of course, motek. You know, if I was not married to you... 1614 01:49:37,759 --> 01:49:41,194 ...this is the kind of bootachem I would go all night long w... 1615 01:49:41,362 --> 01:49:42,988 Hello, Zohan. 1616 01:49:45,033 --> 01:49:48,024 So this is where you work! 1617 01:49:50,104 --> 01:49:52,071 Yes, Abba. 1618 01:49:52,239 --> 01:49:55,901 And this is your Palestinian wife! 1619 01:49:57,912 --> 01:49:59,400 Yes, Abba. 1620 01:50:01,248 --> 01:50:03,010 Does she know you're a fagala? 1621 01:50:05,185 --> 01:50:06,583 I see. This is because... 1622 01:50:06,753 --> 01:50:08,550 Congratulations. 1623 01:50:08,722 --> 01:50:10,417 Now, cut my hair. 1624 01:50:10,592 --> 01:50:12,855 Yes. Yes. Yes. 1625 01:50:13,026 --> 01:50:16,905 I love it. Please. 122460