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1
00:00:03,136 --> 00:00:04,871
♪
2
00:00:06,706 --> 00:00:08,707
YOUNG GRAMPA: Homer,
get your lazy butt out of bed!
3
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:10,176
You're gonna be late for work!
4
00:00:10,243 --> 00:00:13,146
(whoops)
Going to work!
5
00:00:13,212 --> 00:00:16,048
(early‐'90s hip‐hop playing)
6
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,594
Hey, what's the haps,
pop‐diggity?
7
00:00:27,661 --> 00:00:29,329
D'oh!
What's wrong with you?
8
00:00:29,396 --> 00:00:32,832
Can't you talk like
a normal 55‐year‐old man?
9
00:00:32,899 --> 00:00:35,268
You'll never understand
hip‐hop, Dad.
10
00:00:35,335 --> 00:00:37,103
I understand plenty.
11
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:39,039
You're wasting your life
12
00:00:39,106 --> 00:00:41,207
trying to be
some kind of "d'jay."
13
00:00:41,274 --> 00:00:42,875
It's DJ, dad.
14
00:00:42,942 --> 00:00:45,145
You'll see,
I'm gonna have my moment.
15
00:00:45,212 --> 00:00:47,514
Check your watch‐‐
it's Homer Time!
16
00:00:47,581 --> 00:00:49,649
- (grunting)
- (sneakers squeaking)
17
00:00:49,716 --> 00:00:51,451
Where you going, Homer?
18
00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:53,387
To my happy place.
19
00:00:58,959 --> 00:01:01,128
All right team, the word
of the day is "upsell."
20
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:04,164
Every medium pizza
should be extra‐large
21
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,733
and every thin‐crust
should be deep dish.
22
00:01:06,799 --> 00:01:08,936
Mozzarella is money.
23
00:01:09,001 --> 00:01:11,905
Do I make myself as clear
as this Crystal Pepsi?
24
00:01:11,971 --> 00:01:13,073
Ah.
25
00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:14,974
Ah, pointless.
26
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:17,076
Okay, everyone, it's showtime.
27
00:01:17,144 --> 00:01:19,745
Homer, plug in the band.
28
00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:22,816
What's up, party people?
29
00:01:22,882 --> 00:01:24,784
Put your greasy hands together
30
00:01:24,850 --> 00:01:28,555
for the Razzle Dazzle
Rockin' Rollin' Revue!
31
00:01:30,489 --> 00:01:33,192
(gears clanking)
32
00:01:33,259 --> 00:01:36,329
♪ A‐one, two, three o'clock,
four o'clock, pizza ♪
33
00:01:36,396 --> 00:01:38,799
♪ A‐five, six, seven o'clock,
eight o'clock, pizza ♪
34
00:01:38,865 --> 00:01:41,835
♪ We're gonna pizza
around the pizza tonight ♪
35
00:01:41,902 --> 00:01:43,203
♪ ♪
36
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,776
♪ We're gonna pizza around ♪
37
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:53,780
♪ The pizza tonight. ♪
38
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,121
Oh, listen
to that applause, Wakkety.
39
00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:04,658
Those kids love pizza rock!
40
00:02:04,724 --> 00:02:06,859
You suck, Yak.
41
00:02:08,562 --> 00:02:11,531
Kids, I tell you,
our pizza can't be beat.
42
00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:15,335
Pizza can't...
I... beat kids...
43
00:02:15,401 --> 00:02:18,138
I beat kids.
I beat kids.
44
00:02:18,204 --> 00:02:19,806
(all screaming)
45
00:02:19,872 --> 00:02:21,474
That robot's
threatening the kids.
46
00:02:21,540 --> 00:02:22,808
Everyone's leaving.
47
00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:23,977
(exclaims)
48
00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:25,478
Do something!
49
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:28,649
This is my moment.
50
00:02:31,485 --> 00:02:33,653
("Ice Ice Baby"
by Vanilla Ice playing)
51
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:36,256
♪ All right, stop ♪
52
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:37,658
♪ Grab a plate and listen ♪
53
00:02:37,723 --> 00:02:39,425
♪ Yak is back
with a menu addition ♪
54
00:02:39,492 --> 00:02:41,762
♪ Regular toppings
don't get the job done ♪
55
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,663
♪ Premium toppings
get my mouth sprung ♪
56
00:02:43,729 --> 00:02:45,831
♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪
57
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,768
- ♪ Sun‐dried tomatoes ♪
- Oh!
- Ah!
58
00:02:47,834 --> 00:02:49,770
♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪
59
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,937
- ♪ Canadian bacon ♪
- Whoa!
- Yeah.
60
00:02:52,004 --> 00:02:54,007
♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪
61
00:02:54,074 --> 00:02:56,109
- ♪ Kalamata olives ♪
- Yeah!
- Whoa!
62
00:02:56,175 --> 00:02:58,177
♪ Slice, slice, baby ♪
63
00:02:58,245 --> 00:03:00,614
- ♪ Premium toppings, yo ♪
- (all cheering)
64
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,382
You know what,
instead of pepperoni,
65
00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,217
let's get the Canadian bacon.
66
00:03:04,283 --> 00:03:06,620
So premium.
67
00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,254
♪ Sauce to your pizza. ♪
68
00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:10,623
(kids cheering)
69
00:03:11,957 --> 00:03:13,727
That was a heck of a show.
70
00:03:13,794 --> 00:03:17,264
I was selling Nutzo Bread
like it was Weirdo Wedges.
71
00:03:17,329 --> 00:03:18,564
(whistles)
72
00:03:18,632 --> 00:03:21,634
Say, instead of pizza versions
of old songs,
73
00:03:21,701 --> 00:03:24,805
we should be playing
pizza versions of new songs.
74
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,606
Homer, I want you to create
a whole new show,
75
00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,909
ripping off the music
you care about.
76
00:03:29,975 --> 00:03:33,612
(gasps)
All the Ices from Cube to T.
77
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,048
Thank you, Mr. Gunderson.
78
00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,585
Guys, we got
a lot of work to do.
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00:03:38,651 --> 00:03:40,353
I beat kids.
80
00:03:40,420 --> 00:03:43,990
Beat kids.
Beat kids.
81
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:45,491
YOUNG HOMER:
Dad, tonight's
82
00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:47,637
my big show at the pizza place.
You're coming, right?
83
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:50,463
Son, I don't know
quite how to put this, but
84
00:03:50,530 --> 00:03:52,832
you're a fool
and your dreams are garbage.
85
00:03:52,899 --> 00:03:55,268
Now, get out of here before
I say something I'll regret.
86
00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:58,504
I'll show you who's a fool.
87
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,006
(grunting)
88
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:00,941
(mutters):
Such a jerk.
89
00:04:01,007 --> 00:04:02,442
(grunting)
90
00:04:02,508 --> 00:04:05,377
(indistinct chatter)
91
00:04:05,444 --> 00:04:06,780
Big crowd out there.
92
00:04:06,847 --> 00:04:08,715
You guys are
gonna be great tonight.
93
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:10,217
I know it.
94
00:04:10,282 --> 00:04:12,786
That's okay, it's just nerves.
95
00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,587
Dah, the place is packed.
96
00:04:14,653 --> 00:04:16,790
This is why
I went into business‐‐
97
00:04:16,856 --> 00:04:19,692
to make money.
98
00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:24,463
Homer Cool J Simpson presents
the new and improved
99
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:28,334
Phuntime Phunky Phour!
100
00:04:28,401 --> 00:04:30,470
♪ Whoomp, there it is‐‐ pizza ♪
101
00:04:30,536 --> 00:04:33,240
♪ Whoomp, there it is‐‐
pizza ♪
102
00:04:33,305 --> 00:04:35,341
(cheering)
103
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,612
♪ Whoomp, there it is. ♪
104
00:04:39,678 --> 00:04:40,913
Whoomp, who are you?
105
00:04:40,980 --> 00:04:43,316
FBI.
We're shutting this place down.
106
00:04:43,382 --> 00:04:46,252
- This business is a front
for drug trafficking.
- (music stops)
107
00:04:46,319 --> 00:04:48,288
Confiscate those robots.
108
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:50,023
But they're innocent.
109
00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,358
You're just harassing them
because they're rappers.
110
00:04:52,425 --> 00:04:55,327
(grunts)
111
00:04:55,394 --> 00:04:56,829
D'ope!
112
00:04:56,896 --> 00:04:58,665
That cocaine isn't mine.
113
00:04:58,731 --> 00:05:00,666
I never touch
sweet, sweet booger sugar.
114
00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:03,435
Let's all buy Beemers
with hundred‐CD disc changers‐‐
115
00:05:03,502 --> 00:05:04,904
they fill the whole trunk!
116
00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,473
MTV, baby!
117
00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:09,375
(cackling)
118
00:05:10,377 --> 00:05:12,077
No, don't take my friends.
119
00:05:12,144 --> 00:05:13,413
No!
120
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:16,216
(sobbing)
121
00:05:16,283 --> 00:05:17,684
Told ya.
122
00:05:19,619 --> 00:05:21,654
(sobbing)
123
00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:25,625
And I never saw
my robot friends again.
124
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:28,093
So... are we still
125
00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:30,463
going to Ralph's birthday party?
126
00:05:30,529 --> 00:05:34,134
Never! This is where
my dreams died. (sobs)
127
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:35,968
I almost didn't get these cones,
128
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:39,439
and you know what,
I'm glad I did.
129
00:05:39,505 --> 00:05:41,707
(continues sobbing)
130
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:52,752
Homie, it's been three days
since that terrible memory
131
00:05:52,819 --> 00:05:55,689
came back, and you haven't
said anything about it.
132
00:05:55,754 --> 00:05:57,691
Oh.
(short chuckle) That?
133
00:05:57,757 --> 00:05:59,860
What a silly thing
to get upset about.
134
00:05:59,925 --> 00:06:03,129
I totally overreacted.
It's all in the past now.
135
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,098
Oops, don't want
to be late for work.
136
00:06:05,165 --> 00:06:07,266
Love you.
Love you all.
137
00:06:07,334 --> 00:06:09,035
‐(door closes) ‐I can't stand
138
00:06:09,101 --> 00:06:10,971
to see him like this.
139
00:06:11,036 --> 00:06:12,805
What?
Dad looks happy.
140
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,574
Something's deeply wrong.
141
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:17,543
He's missing
his youthful spirit,
142
00:06:17,610 --> 00:06:19,778
that spark that
makes him who he is.
143
00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:22,949
Did you see
how he ate his breakfast?
144
00:06:23,016 --> 00:06:25,218
He didn't shuffle his pancakes
145
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,454
like a deck of cards.
146
00:06:27,519 --> 00:06:29,154
He doesn't
air‐drum while driving
147
00:06:29,221 --> 00:06:32,826
or race the dog in butt scooting
across the carpet.
148
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,326
And he always won.
149
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:37,463
He's not my Homie anymore.
150
00:06:37,529 --> 00:06:39,098
We didn't notice any of that.
151
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:42,401
(scoffs)
A wife knows.
152
00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:44,637
And a bartender.
He's just...
153
00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:46,273
he's just not the same.
154
00:06:46,338 --> 00:06:48,841
He don't spin Barney around
on the stool no more.
155
00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:52,812
He don't drink beer from a crazy
straw‐‐ just a sensible straw.
156
00:06:52,879 --> 00:06:56,582
What are we gonna do
about our little man, Midge?
157
00:06:56,649 --> 00:07:00,687
We're just gonna
have to love him that much more.
158
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,923
I didn't think
that was possible.
159
00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:05,458
(crying)
160
00:07:05,524 --> 00:07:08,295
I'm used to seeing Mom
upset about Dad, but Moe‐‐
161
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:10,096
that really shook me.
162
00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:12,298
How do we heal
the 14‐year‐old boy
163
00:07:12,365 --> 00:07:14,935
who lost the thing
he cared most about‐‐
164
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,370
rapping pizza robots?
165
00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:21,408
What?
It's a very Dad kind of trauma.
166
00:07:21,473 --> 00:07:24,911
Well, if losing those robots
screwed him up,
167
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:28,247
what if we somehow
found them again?
168
00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:29,649
Hmm.
169
00:07:29,716 --> 00:07:32,284
Dad told us
Gil used to be his boss,
170
00:07:32,351 --> 00:07:34,254
so maybe Gil could help us.
171
00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:37,891
And I know
just where to find him.
172
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:41,026
("Hooray for Hollywood" playing)
173
00:07:47,067 --> 00:07:50,269
Razzle Dazzle's‐‐
that was many lives ago.
174
00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:52,838
I was top of the heap,
making kids happy
175
00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:55,341
with music and pizza.
176
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,843
My Dad said you were
also selling drugs.
177
00:07:57,911 --> 00:08:00,146
Ah, the drugs
sold themselves, kid.
178
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,281
The whole world was my nostril.
179
00:08:02,348 --> 00:08:05,050
Look, after you "went away,"
180
00:08:05,117 --> 00:08:06,619
what happened
to those singing robots?
181
00:08:06,685 --> 00:08:08,721
Well, the FBI
sold them at auction,
182
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:11,223
but I never lost track
of my babies.
183
00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:13,293
I'm gonna get those robots back,
184
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,461
and start a new kiddie
pizza place,
185
00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:18,697
then use that as a front
to sell even better drugs!
186
00:08:18,764 --> 00:08:20,867
‐(giggles) ‐Gimme that.
187
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,769
(gasps) This is it.
They're all here.
188
00:08:23,836 --> 00:08:27,540
Lis, we're getting
the band back together.
189
00:08:27,606 --> 00:08:29,641
♪ ♪
190
00:08:35,849 --> 00:08:37,817
You can't take Jive Turkey.
191
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,985
He's the centerpiece
of my priceless collection
192
00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:42,322
of disco memorabilia.
193
00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,323
For God's sake, Stuart.
194
00:08:44,390 --> 00:08:46,158
Get rid of this stuff.
195
00:08:46,225 --> 00:08:49,995
You've wasted your life
on America's worst music craze.
196
00:08:50,062 --> 00:08:53,665
I'm just glad your father,
Doo‐Wop Steve,
197
00:08:53,732 --> 00:08:55,934
didn't live to see this.
198
00:08:56,001 --> 00:08:58,837
Hmm...
Take him.
199
00:08:58,904 --> 00:09:00,472
Thank you, Mrs...
200
00:09:00,539 --> 00:09:02,542
Public Domain Debbie.
201
00:09:02,609 --> 00:09:06,379
♪ On top of Old Smoky ♪
202
00:09:06,446 --> 00:09:09,115
♪ All covered in snow. ♪
203
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:13,753
Please, Professor.
This mechanical‐‐
204
00:09:13,820 --> 00:09:15,355
what is it, a beaver?‐‐
205
00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:19,058
it's the key to my husband's
emotional recovery.
206
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:21,061
Aw... (mumbles)
207
00:09:21,126 --> 00:09:23,897
Well, I understand that need
to develop an attachment
208
00:09:23,962 --> 00:09:27,200
to a piece of machinery
to combat loneliness.
209
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,600
What do‐what do you say, boys,
210
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:30,736
should I... should I
just let her have him?
211
00:09:30,803 --> 00:09:32,639
Free him, you monster.
212
00:09:32,705 --> 00:09:34,106
Free all of us.
213
00:09:34,173 --> 00:09:37,110
He programs us to lose.
214
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,479
(alarm chirps)
215
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:43,048
Hmm. Why would I,
a major local celebrity,
216
00:09:43,115 --> 00:09:45,751
possess a robot
from a defunct pizza parlor?
217
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:47,754
The very notion is absurd.
218
00:09:47,821 --> 00:09:49,655
Oh, of course.
I'm sorry, sir.
219
00:09:49,721 --> 00:09:51,591
My mistake.
Sorry to bother you.
220
00:09:51,658 --> 00:09:54,726
Oh, uh, there is
one more thing, sir.
221
00:09:54,793 --> 00:09:56,371
I see that you go through
a lot of this, uh,
222
00:09:56,395 --> 00:09:59,164
mechanical oil stuff here.
223
00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:02,802
Well, there's a perfectly
logical explanation, Bartender.
224
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:07,005
I spray it
on my rusty door hinges.
225
00:10:07,072 --> 00:10:08,942
Oh, right, now I get it.
226
00:10:09,008 --> 00:10:10,186
You don't want anyone
to know that
227
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:12,177
a respectable gent like yourself
228
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,813
is using this here WD‐40
229
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,448
and this silk kimono
230
00:10:16,515 --> 00:10:19,284
and this Enrique Iglesias CD
231
00:10:19,351 --> 00:10:21,386
with your sex robot!
232
00:10:29,261 --> 00:10:30,929
Oh, yeah, the yak.
233
00:10:30,996 --> 00:10:33,133
I used him
to test the Kevlar vests.
234
00:10:33,198 --> 00:10:34,933
I liked the way
he would sing about pizza
235
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,870
every time
I shot him in the chest.
236
00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:40,206
You're a little late, though.
I just sold him to those guys.
237
00:10:40,273 --> 00:10:41,673
(Bart and Lisa gasp)
238
00:10:41,740 --> 00:10:43,751
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where‐where
are you going with that?
239
00:10:43,775 --> 00:10:47,147
We're taking it to the new
local offices of J. J. Abrams.
240
00:10:47,212 --> 00:10:48,715
J.J. Abrams.
241
00:10:48,780 --> 00:10:52,818
What's a big Hollywood director
doing in Springfield?
242
00:10:52,885 --> 00:10:54,888
Making the next
Mission: Impossible.
243
00:10:54,953 --> 00:10:57,222
Downtown Springfield's
standing in for Somalia.
244
00:10:57,289 --> 00:10:59,491
What does he want with
this rickety piece of junk?
245
00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:00,726
As a visionary genius,
246
00:11:00,793 --> 00:11:02,495
J.J. needs to be kept
in a constant state
247
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,330
of childlike wonder,
248
00:11:04,397 --> 00:11:07,133
so we fill his creative
space with kitsch,
249
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,101
whimsy, memorabilia.
250
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,436
‐(phone dings) ‐(all gasp)
251
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,471
J.J. needs a Garbage Pail Kids
pinball machine
252
00:11:12,538 --> 00:11:15,240
and a roll of 1982 quarters.
253
00:11:16,241 --> 00:11:17,509
Go, go, go!
254
00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:22,447
Can I help you?
255
00:11:22,514 --> 00:11:24,616
Yeah, we're a cool, young,
256
00:11:24,683 --> 00:11:27,854
brother‐sister directing team
and we'd like to speak
257
00:11:27,921 --> 00:11:32,091
to a low‐level executive
about a vague idea we have.
258
00:11:32,158 --> 00:11:33,860
Super vague.
259
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,595
Right away!
260
00:11:45,071 --> 00:11:46,773
(gasps)
There's the yak.
261
00:11:46,838 --> 00:11:49,509
But how are we gonna
get it out of here?
262
00:11:58,183 --> 00:12:01,153
Step away from the kitsch.
263
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:04,090
What are you thinking, trying to
steal from a Hollywood big shot?
264
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:06,259
That's like murdering
a dozen normos.
265
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:08,628
Sorry, Dad. We thought
it would make you happy
266
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:10,996
if we got your old band
back together.
267
00:12:11,063 --> 00:12:14,801
The Phuntime Phunky Phour?
That's impossible.
268
00:12:14,866 --> 00:12:18,071
I'll never
see those guys... again.
269
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,006
Yak.
270
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:22,341
It's you.
271
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:25,077
MAN:
What a touching scene.
272
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:27,679
I know just how to shoot it.
273
00:12:27,746 --> 00:12:29,014
- It's J. J.!
- Roll his calls!
274
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,750
Don't step on his shadow.
275
00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:33,352
Oh, no, I'm wearing
the same shirt as him. Aah!
276
00:12:33,418 --> 00:12:35,321
- Hi, I'm J. J.
- Homer Jay.
277
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,155
Sorry my kids
tried to steal from you.
278
00:12:37,222 --> 00:12:38,399
It's just that they were trying
279
00:12:38,423 --> 00:12:41,860
to get this old robot back,
so... so...
280
00:12:41,927 --> 00:12:44,197
So they could reunite
the entire animatronic band
281
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,599
to heal the broken teenager
inside of you.
282
00:12:46,665 --> 00:12:47,600
(all gasp)
283
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:50,336
How did you know my secret pain?
284
00:12:50,403 --> 00:12:52,272
I didn't.
My storytelling sense told me
285
00:12:52,337 --> 00:12:55,140
this was the only emotionally
cathartic end to your journey.
286
00:12:55,207 --> 00:12:57,277
Master of story!
287
00:12:57,342 --> 00:13:00,279
He's the ultimate architect
of cinematic universes,
288
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:02,048
and my dad's friend.
289
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:03,283
Mm...
290
00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:06,119
I need to see
all the robots together.
291
00:13:06,184 --> 00:13:07,452
Wipe to...
292
00:13:07,519 --> 00:13:10,155
(gasps)
Foxxy, Turkey,
293
00:13:10,222 --> 00:13:12,091
Hippie, and Wakkety!
294
00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:13,893
You're all here.
295
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,296
I've never seen such
genuine childlike wonder.
296
00:13:16,361 --> 00:13:18,298
And I've been to dozens
of test screenings.
297
00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,500
Homer, your emotional connection
to these characters
298
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:22,168
has shown me
that your journey can be
299
00:13:22,235 --> 00:13:23,469
a universal experience,
300
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,404
- or at least Dreamworks.
- What?
301
00:13:25,471 --> 00:13:27,383
I have wonderful news:
I'm gonna make these robots
302
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:30,643
the stars of their own
nine‐movie franchise.
303
00:13:30,710 --> 00:13:31,977
Buy the underlying IP.
304
00:13:32,044 --> 00:13:34,013
- Done. You own it.
- Fantastic.
305
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,748
Take them away.
Take them?
306
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,482
But we just got reunited.
307
00:13:37,549 --> 00:13:39,351
Oh, but I need them.
My visual effects artists
308
00:13:39,418 --> 00:13:40,919
have to scan them
into supercomputers
309
00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:43,355
so our mind‐blowing reboot
will make its release date:
310
00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:46,426
March 30‐‐
the new Fourth of July.
311
00:13:46,491 --> 00:13:48,528
No!
(whimpering)
312
00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,630
(sobbing)
313
00:13:51,697 --> 00:13:54,801
No! The same thing
happened again,
314
00:13:54,866 --> 00:13:57,370
but slightly different,
years later.
315
00:13:57,437 --> 00:13:59,438
It's what I do.
316
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:09,481
I had them back
and I lost them again.
317
00:14:09,548 --> 00:14:12,618
Homie, I know
how hard this is for you.
318
00:14:12,684 --> 00:14:15,153
I always say
you shouldn't do this,
319
00:14:15,221 --> 00:14:17,789
but maybe‐‐ just this once‐‐
320
00:14:17,856 --> 00:14:19,958
you should go eat your feelings.
321
00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,260
Six feelings with extra cheese.
322
00:14:22,327 --> 00:14:23,562
An order of French feelings,
323
00:14:23,629 --> 00:14:27,299
and a super chocolate
frosty depression.
324
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:29,936
I also recommend
a hot apple cry.
325
00:14:30,001 --> 00:14:33,206
Yes, I recognize
a fellow sadness swallower.
326
00:14:34,206 --> 00:14:38,009
And then J. J. Abrams
took my robots away...
327
00:14:38,076 --> 00:14:40,846
so he could reboot them.
328
00:14:40,913 --> 00:14:43,316
Why do Hollywood guys
only want to make movies?
329
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:46,184
I used to be like you,
getting angry at filmmakers
330
00:14:46,251 --> 00:14:49,254
who ruined my favorite
childhood characters,
331
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,657
stewing in silence.
But now,
332
00:14:51,724 --> 00:14:55,427
thanks to the Internet,
I can fight back.
333
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:57,429
- You can?
- Oh, yes, my friend.
334
00:14:57,496 --> 00:14:58,865
It is called "trolling."
335
00:14:58,931 --> 00:15:02,268
Thanks to social media
super‐soldiers like myself,
336
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,703
studios spent millions to remove
337
00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:07,472
Sonic the Hedgehog's
creepy human teeth.
338
00:15:07,539 --> 00:15:09,408
We changed the world
339
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:11,711
of video game adaptations
I never saw.
340
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,812
Then I'll do it.
I'll become a troll,
341
00:15:13,879 --> 00:15:15,782
stop J. J. Abrams' reboot,
342
00:15:15,847 --> 00:15:18,451
and save my childhood.
343
00:15:18,518 --> 00:15:20,452
And now I'm eating a feeling
344
00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:22,554
I've never felt before.
345
00:15:27,326 --> 00:15:29,061
♪
346
00:15:45,677 --> 00:15:46,778
Marge, I've done it.
347
00:15:46,846 --> 00:15:48,056
The boycott
is gaining momentum‐‐
348
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:50,682
the supportive comments
are pouring in.
349
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,019
Three of them!
350
00:15:53,085 --> 00:15:56,355
Homer, please. You've missed
so much of your life.
351
00:15:56,422 --> 00:15:57,690
Of our lives.
352
00:15:57,756 --> 00:16:00,091
It's only a movie.
353
00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:05,798
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Maybe I have been
354
00:16:05,865 --> 00:16:08,634
taking this nostalgia‐fueled
vendetta too far.
355
00:16:08,701 --> 00:16:10,302
‐(computer dings) ‐(gasps)
356
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:12,238
Pizza movie news alert.
357
00:16:12,304 --> 00:16:14,039
Hey, Springfield.
I'm inviting you
358
00:16:14,105 --> 00:16:16,741
to come to the Aztec Theatre
tonight for a special preview
359
00:16:16,808 --> 00:16:19,479
of my new animated movie,
Agents of P. I. Z. Z. A.
360
00:16:19,544 --> 00:16:23,381
How dare he do
what he said he was gonna do!
361
00:16:23,448 --> 00:16:25,027
I paused just long enough
for anyone watching
362
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:28,120
to say something.
And now, here's a little...
363
00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:30,690
"slice" of what
you'll see tonight.
364
00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,595
NARRATOR:They'll save the world
in 90 minutes...
365
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,629
or the movie is free.
366
00:16:37,697 --> 00:16:39,966
Written by Tony Kushner
and Babaloo Mandel.
367
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,767
No.
This reimagining
368
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:44,336
is worse than
I could have ever imagined.
369
00:16:44,403 --> 00:16:47,472
I've got to stop that screening.
370
00:16:47,539 --> 00:16:50,076
(grunting)
371
00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:53,678
There's only one person
who can help my Homie now.
372
00:16:53,745 --> 00:16:55,847
- Who are you calling?
- No, don't tell us‐‐
373
00:16:55,914 --> 00:16:57,716
it'll be cooler
when we find out later.
374
00:16:59,085 --> 00:17:00,485
(indistinct chatter)
375
00:17:00,552 --> 00:17:03,255
Reboots suck
and you're to blame,
376
00:17:03,322 --> 00:17:05,790
make it different, but the same!
377
00:17:05,857 --> 00:17:08,294
Thank you, loyal trolls,
for joining me
378
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:09,694
in my passion project:
379
00:17:09,761 --> 00:17:13,298
destroying someone else's
passion project.
380
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:16,602
Yes, every fan deserves movies
that are individually tailored
381
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,938
to their preconceived ideas.
382
00:17:19,005 --> 00:17:22,208
Let's ruin everyone's night!
383
00:17:22,275 --> 00:17:23,608
(applause)
384
00:17:23,675 --> 00:17:26,144
Welcome to this preview
of Agents of P. I. Z. Z. A.,
385
00:17:26,211 --> 00:17:27,313
featuring the voice talents
386
00:17:27,380 --> 00:17:29,448
of whoever was famous
eight months ago.
387
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:30,782
(all quietly exclaiming)
388
00:17:30,849 --> 00:17:32,384
But the real heroes
are the thousands
389
00:17:32,451 --> 00:17:34,787
of computer artists
who worked around the clock,
390
00:17:34,854 --> 00:17:36,822
slowly going blind,
at such effects houses as
391
00:17:36,888 --> 00:17:38,958
Dream Prison, Digital Sweatshop,
392
00:17:39,025 --> 00:17:41,493
Indentured Server‐dudes,
and too many others to count.
393
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:42,929
- Or pay.
- MAN: Yeah!
394
00:17:42,994 --> 00:17:44,497
And now, without further ado...
395
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:47,567
Did somebody ask for ado?
396
00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:48,633
(all gasp)
397
00:17:48,667 --> 00:17:50,336
Hey, Homer.
Good to see you.
398
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,271
Yeah, you'd like that,
wouldn't you?
399
00:17:53,338 --> 00:17:56,075
This man took simple,
beautiful animal robots
400
00:17:56,142 --> 00:17:57,910
designed to sell pizza
401
00:17:57,977 --> 00:18:00,645
and turned them into something
crass and commercial.
402
00:18:00,712 --> 00:18:04,049
Well, it's all over, J. J.‐‐
403
00:18:04,115 --> 00:18:06,919
if those are your real initials.
404
00:18:12,625 --> 00:18:16,796
I'm going to burn
the only copy of this movie.
405
00:18:16,862 --> 00:18:19,632
Actually, the movie's backed up
on servers all over the world.
406
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:21,499
That reel is just a prop
from the snack stand.
407
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:24,769
Oh.
I wondered why it was buttery.
408
00:18:24,836 --> 00:18:28,074
You can't release this movie.
Changing those characters
409
00:18:28,140 --> 00:18:31,376
- will ruin my childhood.
- GRAMPA: Bullpucky!
410
00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:33,311
(all gasp)
411
00:18:33,378 --> 00:18:34,980
(grunts)
412
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,650
So that's who
Mom called earlier.
413
00:18:37,717 --> 00:18:39,652
So satisfying.
414
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:42,989
Son, a movie
can't ruin your childhood.
415
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:46,659
I ruined it
by being a terrible father.
416
00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:49,327
- But the movie.
- No, it was me.
417
00:18:49,394 --> 00:18:51,998
I put you down,
I never listened to you,
418
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,634
said your dreams
were ridiculous.
419
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:56,602
Maybe it was the way
I was brought up.
420
00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,903
Men back then
could only love sports stars
421
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:01,073
and auto makes.
422
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:04,109
I was a Chevy man
and I thought that was enough.
423
00:19:04,175 --> 00:19:07,113
The '63 Impala SS sport coupe‐‐
424
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:09,914
now, that was a son.
425
00:19:09,981 --> 00:19:13,085
Of course.
It's not the movie that sucks,
426
00:19:13,152 --> 00:19:15,421
it was you sucking.
427
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:17,890
It was always you sucking.
428
00:19:17,957 --> 00:19:21,527
I hate you, Dad.
429
00:19:21,594 --> 00:19:22,761
ALL:
Aw.
430
00:19:24,195 --> 00:19:26,464
Homer, I know you were
attached to the past,
431
00:19:26,531 --> 00:19:29,268
but this movie‐‐
all 71 minutes of it‐‐
432
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:30,803
might help
a new generation of kids
433
00:19:30,869 --> 00:19:32,637
forget their terrible parents.
434
00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:36,541
- Like us, Dad.
- I want to forget so bad.
435
00:19:36,608 --> 00:19:40,112
- Mm.
- Go on, make your movie.
436
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:41,447
It's literally already done.
437
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:44,083
I guess the only time
I'll see my friends now
438
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:45,984
is on the big screen.
439
00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:48,054
Well, actually...
440
00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:50,823
(gasps)
441
00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:54,826
The band is back together.
442
00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,162
I had them reprogrammed
443
00:19:56,228 --> 00:19:58,963
to dispense frozen yogurt
at the after party.
444
00:19:59,030 --> 00:20:01,166
Goodbye, old friend.
445
00:20:01,232 --> 00:20:04,002
You'll always be a part of me.
446
00:20:04,069 --> 00:20:06,071
Ah...
447
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:20,853
COMIC BOOK GUY:
To all who dare reboot a movie,
448
00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:22,253
comic book, or TV show‐‐
449
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:25,590
you are being watched
by Troll Force Five!
450
00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:29,028
Mary Sue, who writes
fan fiction starring herself.
451
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:31,696
"Harry Potter turned and said,
'Without Mary Sue,
452
00:20:31,763 --> 00:20:34,333
I never could have brought
Dumbledore back to life.'"
453
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,711
COMIC BOOK GUY:
The Furry‐‐ the ultimate expert
454
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:38,871
on poorly‐rendered CGI hair.
455
00:20:38,938 --> 00:20:41,272
That's not what it looks like
when a bear sweats.
456
00:20:41,339 --> 00:20:42,817
COMIC BOOK BUY:
The Shipper‐‐ able to detect
457
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:45,778
romantic connections
where, clearly, none exist.
458
00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:48,780
-C‐3
-PO and Chewbacca
are definitely a couple.
459
00:20:48,847 --> 00:20:50,715
COMIC BOOK GUY:
Stan, who can ruin anything
460
00:20:50,782 --> 00:20:52,817
by loving it too much.
461
00:20:52,884 --> 00:20:54,185
Together, we are...
462
00:20:58,089 --> 00:20:59,334
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
463
00:20:59,357 --> 00:21:00,558
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
464
00:21:00,625 --> 00:21:02,294
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.
465
00:21:02,361 --> 00:21:04,829
♪ Your mother's got flavor,
your father's got the flavor ♪
466
00:21:04,896 --> 00:21:06,307
♪ Your sister and your brother
and your cousins ♪
467
00:21:06,332 --> 00:21:07,767
♪ Got the flavor, the flavor ♪
468
00:21:07,833 --> 00:21:09,501
♪ Flavor that
you crave so much ♪
469
00:21:09,567 --> 00:21:11,403
♪ Flavor with boom,
flavor that goes crunch ♪
470
00:21:11,470 --> 00:21:12,971
♪ Tell me, who's got flavor ♪
471
00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:14,038
♪ I do, I do ♪
472
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:15,074
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
473
00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:16,174
♪ I do, I do ♪
474
00:21:16,241 --> 00:21:17,442
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
475
00:21:17,509 --> 00:21:18,576
♪ I do, I do ♪
476
00:21:18,644 --> 00:21:19,778
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
477
00:21:19,845 --> 00:21:20,980
♪ I do, I do ♪
478
00:21:21,046 --> 00:21:22,181
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
479
00:21:22,248 --> 00:21:23,249
♪ The funky hip‐hop ♪
480
00:21:23,315 --> 00:21:24,784
(beatboxing)
481
00:21:24,849 --> 00:21:25,951
♪ Feel the beat drop ♪
482
00:21:26,018 --> 00:21:27,018
♪ Hour after hour ♪
483
00:21:27,051 --> 00:21:27,987
♪ Sweet, nothing sour ♪
484
00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:29,121
(neighs)
485
00:21:29,188 --> 00:21:30,455
♪ Kick it like horsepower ♪
486
00:21:30,522 --> 00:21:31,790
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
487
00:21:31,856 --> 00:21:32,991
♪ I do, I do ♪
488
00:21:33,057 --> 00:21:33,992
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
489
00:21:34,058 --> 00:21:34,993
♪ I do, I do ♪
490
00:21:35,059 --> 00:21:35,994
♪ Who's got flavor ♪
491
00:21:36,060 --> 00:21:36,996
♪ I do, I do ♪
492
00:21:37,061 --> 00:21:37,997
♪ Who's got... ♪
493
00:21:38,063 --> 00:21:40,199
Shh!
36164
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