Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,366 --> 00:00:04,733
Morning.
Morning.
2
00:00:04,766 --> 00:00:07,133
Hope you don't mind
baking-soda flavor.
3
00:00:07,166 --> 00:00:09,333
Oh, baking soda.
Annoying little product.
4
00:00:09,366 --> 00:00:11,033
"I can do this,
I can do that."
5
00:00:11,066 --> 00:00:13,000
Why doesn't the stuff
just shut up?
6
00:00:13,033 --> 00:00:14,366
Let me grab you
a towel.
7
00:00:15,866 --> 00:00:16,866
Ugh.
8
00:00:18,033 --> 00:00:18,933
[SPITS]
9
00:00:24,433 --> 00:00:25,566
Oh.
10
00:00:30,433 --> 00:00:31,866
Ugh. Ehh.
11
00:00:43,733 --> 00:00:44,866
Ohh.
12
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,133
GEORGE:
So?
13
00:00:51,166 --> 00:00:53,166
So? She used
the toothbrush.
14
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,966
You said you grabbed it
out of there real fast?
Yeah.
15
00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,500
So I'm sure whatever germs
it landed on were knocked out.
16
00:00:58,533 --> 00:01:00,666
And by the time the rest
realized what was going on,
17
00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:02,500
you had already grabbed it out.
18
00:01:02,533 --> 00:01:04,666
How many years
of med school did you have?
19
00:01:04,700 --> 00:01:06,033
Was she mad?
20
00:01:07,866 --> 00:01:09,000
You didn't tell her.
21
00:01:09,033 --> 00:01:10,733
Jenna's like me.
She's very...
22
00:01:10,766 --> 00:01:12,033
Finicky?
23
00:01:12,066 --> 00:01:13,033
Prissy?
24
00:01:13,066 --> 00:01:14,533
Fastidious?
25
00:01:14,566 --> 00:01:15,933
I'll take "fastidious."
26
00:01:17,366 --> 00:01:18,733
What is that?
27
00:01:18,766 --> 00:01:20,300
Oh.
28
00:01:20,333 --> 00:01:21,866
Steinbrenner gave 'em to us.
29
00:01:21,900 --> 00:01:24,400
In honor of Phil Rizzuto's
induction into the Hall of Fame.
30
00:01:24,433 --> 00:01:26,333
Holy cow.
31
00:01:27,700 --> 00:01:29,200
They don't have to
squeeze his head
32
00:01:29,233 --> 00:01:31,033
to get him to say
"Holy cow", do they?
33
00:01:31,066 --> 00:01:33,900
Just the last few innings
of a double-header.
34
00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:35,833
Hey.
35
00:01:35,866 --> 00:01:37,300
Look at this.
36
00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:40,166
I'm in the passing lane of
the Arthur Berkhardt Expressway
37
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,700
going 70, and:
38
00:01:41,733 --> 00:01:43,366
[IMITATES COLLISION]
39
00:01:44,733 --> 00:01:47,256
Dragged this thing
for five exits.
40
00:01:47,256 --> 00:01:47,666
Dragged this thing
for five exits.
41
00:01:47,700 --> 00:01:49,200
Why didn't you
pull over?
42
00:01:49,233 --> 00:01:52,666
Well, I was drafting behind
a semi. I didn't wanna lose him.
43
00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:55,733
The infrastructure, Jerry.
It's crumbling.
44
00:01:55,766 --> 00:01:57,566
Holy cow.
45
00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:59,500
Oh, look at that.
46
00:01:59,533 --> 00:02:01,200
Talking Nixon.
47
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:05,033
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
MAN [ON PHONE]: China Panda.
48
00:02:05,066 --> 00:02:06,700
Yeah, I'd like to
place an order.
49
00:02:06,733 --> 00:02:08,066
Uh, yes, what you like?
50
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:10,300
This supreme flounder.
It says,
51
00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:12,666
"First time served in America."
Is that true?
52
00:02:12,700 --> 00:02:13,700
What number?
53
00:02:13,733 --> 00:02:14,966
Forty-seven?
54
00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:17,066
Yeah. First time.
What else?
55
00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:19,800
Uh, that's it.
56
00:02:19,833 --> 00:02:20,800
Address.
57
00:02:20,833 --> 00:02:22,300
78 West 86th Street,
58
00:02:22,333 --> 00:02:23,533
apartment 3E.
59
00:02:23,566 --> 00:02:24,700
That's south side.
60
00:02:24,733 --> 00:02:26,900
Sorry, we don't
deliver below 86.
61
00:02:26,933 --> 00:02:28,000
I'm not below.
62
00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:29,366
Yes, you are.
63
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:31,233
Street itself is boundary.
64
00:02:31,266 --> 00:02:33,000
Your guy can't
cross to my side?
65
00:02:33,033 --> 00:02:35,000
If we deliver to you,
then what?
66
00:02:35,033 --> 00:02:36,666
85th Street?
Wall Street?
67
00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,733
Mexico?
84th Street?
68
00:02:38,766 --> 00:02:42,166
All right, fine.
I'll just cross and meet him.
69
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:45,000
Sorry. Food only for those
who live within boundary.
70
00:02:50,500 --> 00:02:52,166
[TELEPHONE DIALING]
71
00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:53,666
[RINGS]
72
00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:54,700
China Panda.
73
00:02:54,733 --> 00:02:56,000
[HIGH VOICE]
Uh, yeah, yeah.
74
00:02:56,033 --> 00:02:57,233
Uh, I'd like to
place an order.
75
00:02:58,533 --> 00:02:59,766
All right, what you like?
76
00:03:03,366 --> 00:03:05,000
Well...
77
00:03:05,033 --> 00:03:07,200
Well. I'm a papa.
78
00:03:07,233 --> 00:03:09,666
Bring it on. Nothing's
throwing me at this point.
79
00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:11,866
Well, as of today,
I am a proud parent
80
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:14,866
of a one-mile stretch of
the Arthur Berkhardt Expressway.
81
00:03:14,900 --> 00:03:16,666
Oh, that
Adopt-A-Highway thing.
82
00:03:16,700 --> 00:03:17,256
Yeah, I'm part of
the solution now, Jerry.
83
00:03:17,256 --> 00:03:18,500
Yeah, I'm part of
the solution now, Jerry.
84
00:03:18,533 --> 00:03:21,333
Yeah, I went down there, and
I checked it out this morning.
85
00:03:21,366 --> 00:03:22,333
Here. Take a look.
86
00:03:22,366 --> 00:03:24,000
Mile 114.
87
00:03:24,033 --> 00:03:25,633
Oh. Looks
just like you.
88
00:03:25,666 --> 00:03:27,333
Oh, I'm beaming, Jerry.
89
00:03:27,366 --> 00:03:29,333
So, what do you have to do?
Pay to keep it clean?
90
00:03:29,366 --> 00:03:32,033
Oh, no. They try to push you
into using their cleaning crew
91
00:03:32,066 --> 00:03:34,533
with all their so-called
maintenance equipment.
92
00:03:34,566 --> 00:03:35,700
That old scam.
93
00:03:35,733 --> 00:03:37,366
That's why I'm doing
it all myself.
94
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:39,833
This parenting isn't about
delegating responsibility,
95
00:03:39,866 --> 00:03:41,200
it's about being there.
96
00:03:41,233 --> 00:03:43,500
At the side of the road
with a pile of garbage.
97
00:03:43,533 --> 00:03:45,666
Quality time.
98
00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,256
Keys. I can't find my keys.
99
00:03:47,256 --> 00:03:47,866
Keys. I can't find my keys.
100
00:03:47,900 --> 00:03:49,700
You lost Phil Rizzuto's
head?
101
00:03:49,733 --> 00:03:50,866
Have you seen him?
No.
102
00:03:50,900 --> 00:03:52,033
Damn it.
KRAMER: Come on,
103
00:03:52,066 --> 00:03:53,033
retrace your steps.
104
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,166
What'd you do today?
105
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,200
I got up, I was
supposed to go to work,
106
00:03:56,233 --> 00:03:58,000
I came here instead.
All right.
107
00:03:58,033 --> 00:04:00,333
They're not here. You'll
have to dig up your spare set.
108
00:04:00,366 --> 00:04:02,000
I don't have
a spare set.
109
00:04:02,033 --> 00:04:04,066
All my keys say
"do not duplicate."
110
00:04:04,100 --> 00:04:05,466
So?
111
00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:07,333
So you can't
duplicate 'em.
112
00:04:07,366 --> 00:04:08,800
[JERRY & KRAMER LAUGH]
113
00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:10,133
Sure you can.
114
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:12,433
Such a sweet
kid. Ha.
115
00:04:21,900 --> 00:04:23,866
Oh. Oh. Hi.
116
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:24,900
China Panda?
117
00:04:24,933 --> 00:04:27,233
Why are you
waiting on the street
118
00:04:27,266 --> 00:04:28,566
and not in your apartment?
119
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:30,300
I...
120
00:04:30,333 --> 00:04:32,000
thought that I would
meet you halfway.
121
00:04:33,433 --> 00:04:35,400
Do you really live here?
Oh, yeah.
122
00:04:35,433 --> 00:04:37,833
There you go.
You keep the change.
123
00:04:37,866 --> 00:04:39,033
Bye now.
124
00:04:40,166 --> 00:04:41,266
I'll--
I'll see you.
125
00:04:42,833 --> 00:04:44,333
[DOORKNOB
RATTLING]
126
00:04:44,366 --> 00:04:45,433
[GROANS]
127
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:49,400
[DOORKNOB RATTLING]
128
00:04:50,533 --> 00:04:51,766
[CLEARS THROAT]
129
00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:59,533
You know,
this isn't fair.
130
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:02,366
This is address
discrimination.
131
00:05:04,533 --> 00:05:07,000
Well, I cleaned out their
whole dental-hygiene shelf.
132
00:05:07,033 --> 00:05:09,633
So the plan is to
secretly sterilize her mouth?
133
00:05:09,666 --> 00:05:11,300
By the time I'm through
with her mouth,
134
00:05:11,333 --> 00:05:12,700
she'll be able to
eat off it.
135
00:05:12,733 --> 00:05:14,900
Is it safe to drink bleach
if you dilute it?
136
00:05:14,933 --> 00:05:16,500
No. Stings
the throat.
137
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:17,256
Anyway-- So I was
coming along here.
138
00:05:17,256 --> 00:05:18,200
Anyway-- So I was
coming along here.
139
00:05:18,233 --> 00:05:20,166
And I felt like
a piece of cake, you know?
140
00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:21,866
So then I thought,
"It's morning.
141
00:05:21,900 --> 00:05:23,233
I should really
have a muffin."
142
00:05:23,266 --> 00:05:24,866
I like those
chocolate chip ones.
143
00:05:24,900 --> 00:05:26,000
And then I figured,
well,
144
00:05:26,033 --> 00:05:27,666
they're really
both cake.
145
00:05:27,700 --> 00:05:28,866
So I, uh--
I sat on that bench
146
00:05:28,900 --> 00:05:30,066
for a little while--
147
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:32,500
20 minutes or an hour
--and then I figured
148
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,366
I'd check and see
what you were up to.
149
00:05:35,066 --> 00:05:36,666
Wait a minute.
150
00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:38,700
Wait a minute.
The broad jump.
151
00:05:38,733 --> 00:05:41,200
The broad jump over the pothole
on 86th Street!
152
00:05:42,866 --> 00:05:45,166
Now I remember.
As I jumped over the hole,
153
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,256
I heard a jingling sound.
You didn't look down?
154
00:05:47,256 --> 00:05:47,500
I heard a jingling sound.
You didn't look down?
155
00:05:47,533 --> 00:05:48,966
I was trying to
stick the landing.
156
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:51,100
I know it was
right around here.
157
00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:54,266
No. No!
158
00:05:55,433 --> 00:05:57,566
RIZZUTO HEAD:
Holy-- Holy cow.
159
00:05:58,366 --> 00:05:59,700
Poor son of a bitch.
160
00:06:02,433 --> 00:06:04,566
JERRY:
It's 100,000 revolutions
a second.
161
00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,166
It's the most powerful one
they make.
162
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,866
I feel like I'm
holding a blender.
163
00:06:08,900 --> 00:06:10,700
The engine's made
by McDonnell Douglas.
164
00:06:12,033 --> 00:06:14,566
No, no, you keep going.
It shuts off automatically.
165
00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:16,566
Really? It does?
166
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:17,256
When the battery
runs out.
167
00:06:17,256 --> 00:06:18,400
When the battery
runs out.
168
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:22,733
I was really happy
with my old toothbrush.
169
00:06:22,766 --> 00:06:26,366
Oh, trust me, that one
was doing more harm than good.
170
00:06:27,733 --> 00:06:30,600
Don't forget to use
the Plax too.
171
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,166
That stuff
tastes like bleach.
172
00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,400
I don't know
anything about that.
Huh.
173
00:06:38,033 --> 00:06:39,033
Mm.
174
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:42,200
My mouth feels
so clean.
175
00:06:42,233 --> 00:06:43,500
That's the idea.
176
00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:47,256
[♪]
177
00:06:47,256 --> 00:06:48,000
[♪]
178
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:54,333
You know, maybe
we'd better not.
179
00:06:54,366 --> 00:06:56,000
I-I think I'm
getting a little cold.
180
00:06:56,033 --> 00:06:58,166
I don't wanna give you
any of my germs.
181
00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,166
Oh.
182
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:00,500
Okay.
183
00:07:00,533 --> 00:07:02,266
Thanks. I guess.
184
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,833
ELAINE:
You still couldn't kiss her?
185
00:07:06,866 --> 00:07:08,333
She has
a taint.
186
00:07:08,366 --> 00:07:10,000
I can't see it,
but I know it's there.
187
00:07:10,033 --> 00:07:13,800
Oh. So now you're finding fault
on a subatomic level.
188
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:15,466
Maybe if I could
shrink myself down,
189
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:16,800
like in Fantastic Voyage,
190
00:07:16,833 --> 00:07:17,256
and get inside a microscopic
submarine, I could be sure.
191
00:07:17,256 --> 00:07:19,666
and get inside a microscopic
submarine, I could be sure.
192
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,366
Although if there was
something there,
193
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,700
it might be
pretty scary.
194
00:07:22,733 --> 00:07:25,000
Of course, I would
have that laser.
195
00:07:26,100 --> 00:07:27,500
Jer...
196
00:07:27,533 --> 00:07:29,200
do you see
where this is going?
197
00:07:29,233 --> 00:07:31,366
Being really clean
and happy?
198
00:07:31,400 --> 00:07:33,200
Jerry...
199
00:07:33,233 --> 00:07:35,033
you have tendencies.
200
00:07:35,066 --> 00:07:37,133
They are
always annoying,
201
00:07:37,166 --> 00:07:38,900
but they were
just tendencies.
202
00:07:38,933 --> 00:07:41,233
But now, if you can't
kiss this girl,
203
00:07:41,266 --> 00:07:43,533
I-- I'm afraid
we're talking disorder.
204
00:07:43,566 --> 00:07:45,666
Disorder?
And from disorder,
205
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:46,733
you're a quirk or two away
206
00:07:46,766 --> 00:07:47,256
from full-on dementia.
207
00:07:47,256 --> 00:07:50,533
from full-on dementia.
208
00:07:50,566 --> 00:07:53,100
Hm. That could hurt me.
209
00:07:53,866 --> 00:07:55,166
Hey, there
it is.
210
00:07:58,433 --> 00:08:00,000
Should we stop
and say hi?
211
00:08:00,033 --> 00:08:02,066
Nah,
we've seen it.
Yeah.
212
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:03,900
[HONKS HORN]
Hey, Jerry!
213
00:08:03,933 --> 00:08:06,700
Yeah, I'll see you
back at the house!
214
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,666
Mile 114,
215
00:08:12,700 --> 00:08:13,933
clean as a whistle.
216
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:26,400
[HORNS HONKING]
217
00:08:27,733 --> 00:08:29,200
[TIRES
SQUEALING]
218
00:08:29,233 --> 00:08:30,933
[HORNS HONKING]
219
00:08:36,100 --> 00:08:37,733
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
220
00:08:39,833 --> 00:08:41,133
Yeah?
Hi.
221
00:08:41,166 --> 00:08:43,233
I'm your neighbor.
222
00:08:43,266 --> 00:08:45,533
Uh, from-- From across
the street.
223
00:08:45,566 --> 00:08:47,233
And, um...
224
00:08:47,266 --> 00:08:48,466
Tsk. Ahem.
I was wondering,
225
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:49,966
if it wouldn't
be too much trouble,
226
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,900
if I could use
your apartment
227
00:08:51,933 --> 00:08:54,200
to order some food.
228
00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:55,733
What? W-what do you want?
229
00:08:55,766 --> 00:08:57,833
You see, there's
this certain flounder.
230
00:08:57,866 --> 00:09:01,466
And they won't deliver it
to my side of the street.
231
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,100
When-- When is that?
232
00:09:04,233 --> 00:09:06,400
No, I just need them
to deliver it here.
233
00:09:06,433 --> 00:09:09,466
And I have to be
kind of inside, is all.
234
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:10,900
Who are you with?
235
00:09:10,933 --> 00:09:14,233
No, actually, I'm--
I'm just kind of hungry.
236
00:09:14,266 --> 00:09:15,333
[CHUCKLES]
And--
237
00:09:15,366 --> 00:09:16,666
Who let you in?
238
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:17,256
Well, the lock
was broken.
239
00:09:17,256 --> 00:09:18,566
Well, the lock
was broken.
240
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,133
You just have to
jiggle it,
241
00:09:20,166 --> 00:09:21,400
actually, to g--
But--
Hm.
242
00:09:21,433 --> 00:09:23,733
I just need, like,
a half an hour to an hour.
243
00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:28,366
[SIGHS]
244
00:09:38,266 --> 00:09:39,866
JERRY:
What's with the signs?
245
00:09:39,900 --> 00:09:42,000
Ah. you should see
the Berkhardt, Jerry.
246
00:09:42,033 --> 00:09:43,000
My mile
is spotless.
247
00:09:43,033 --> 00:09:44,700
I mean,
the big stuff was easy:
248
00:09:44,733 --> 00:09:46,566
cinder blocks,
air conditioners,
249
00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:47,256
shopping carts:
vrrt!
250
00:09:47,256 --> 00:09:47,900
shopping carts:
vrrt!
251
00:09:47,933 --> 00:09:49,833
I just rolled them
into the woods.
252
00:09:49,866 --> 00:09:52,033
Yeah, that stuff's
all-natural anyway.
253
00:09:52,066 --> 00:09:53,033
Yeah.
254
00:09:54,233 --> 00:09:57,000
Speed limit,
165 miles per hour.
255
00:09:57,033 --> 00:09:59,166
See? They slipped
a one in there.
256
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:01,800
[LAUGHING]
Those kids with the spray paint.
257
00:10:01,833 --> 00:10:03,233
God love 'em.
258
00:10:06,066 --> 00:10:07,333
Hey, so? Keys?
259
00:10:07,366 --> 00:10:09,900
No keys. And I've been
calling the city all day.
260
00:10:09,933 --> 00:10:12,333
There's not a number to call
if you wanna make a pothole.
261
00:10:12,366 --> 00:10:14,633
I guess they leave that
up to the general population.
262
00:10:14,666 --> 00:10:17,256
I'll tell you this. If the real
Phil Rizzuto was down there,
263
00:10:17,256 --> 00:10:17,566
I'll tell you this. If the real
Phil Rizzuto was down there,
264
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:18,833
this wouldn't be happening.
265
00:10:18,866 --> 00:10:20,566
Hard to say.
266
00:10:20,600 --> 00:10:22,466
Wait a minute.
You need some roadwork done?
267
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:24,566
I met some maintenance guys
today on the highway.
268
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,033
They could probably
help you out.
269
00:10:26,066 --> 00:10:27,233
Really?
KRAMER: Oh, yeah.
270
00:10:27,266 --> 00:10:28,666
I borrowed some cones
from them
271
00:10:28,700 --> 00:10:30,633
when I was sweeping
my car-pool lane.
272
00:10:30,666 --> 00:10:31,900
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
273
00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:33,500
Yeah?
JENNA: It's Jenna.
274
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,900
Ah, if you guys
wouldn't mind...
275
00:10:35,933 --> 00:10:37,933
I would like to
ward off dementia.
276
00:10:38,933 --> 00:10:40,300
You can hook me up
with them?
277
00:10:40,333 --> 00:10:41,966
Oh, yeah. Give me
a ring tomorrow.
278
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,333
I'm gonna be at emergency
call box 784.
[SNAPS]
279
00:10:44,366 --> 00:10:46,066
Seven-eight-four.
280
00:10:46,100 --> 00:10:47,256
Hey.
Hi.
281
00:10:47,256 --> 00:10:47,500
Hey.
Hi.
282
00:10:47,533 --> 00:10:49,066
How you feeling?
Good.
283
00:10:49,100 --> 00:10:50,500
My cold's gone,
284
00:10:50,533 --> 00:10:52,466
and I've been looking
forward to kissing you.
285
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:55,166
Which I'm ready to do now,
if you are ready.
286
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,100
Okay.
287
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:02,700
What?
288
00:11:02,733 --> 00:11:04,900
Nothing. I just--
I, uh...
289
00:11:04,933 --> 00:11:06,700
I bruised my lip.
I was drinking a Cel-Ray,
290
00:11:06,733 --> 00:11:09,566
and I brought it up too fast,
and I banged it into my lip.
291
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:10,566
And then I knocked
292
00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:12,133
your toothbrush
into the toilet.
293
00:11:12,166 --> 00:11:14,833
And I wasn't able to tell you
before you could use it.
294
00:11:14,866 --> 00:11:15,900
What?
295
00:11:15,933 --> 00:11:16,900
I'm sorry.
296
00:11:16,933 --> 00:11:17,256
When were you
gonna tell me this?
297
00:11:17,256 --> 00:11:18,866
When were you
gonna tell me this?
298
00:11:18,900 --> 00:11:19,933
Obviously never.
299
00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:22,900
I need
the yield sign.
300
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:26,500
Kramer...I'm kind of
in the middle of something.
301
00:11:26,533 --> 00:11:30,033
Would you get these signs
out of here, please?
302
00:11:31,233 --> 00:11:32,666
You could have
introduced me.
303
00:11:32,700 --> 00:11:34,000
I wouldn't know
where to start.
304
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:38,633
Hey.
305
00:11:38,666 --> 00:11:41,100
Jenna. Hey.
306
00:11:42,433 --> 00:11:43,633
There.
307
00:11:43,666 --> 00:11:46,333
Now something of yours
has been in the toilet.
308
00:11:46,366 --> 00:11:47,256
What? Well, what did
you put in there?
309
00:11:47,256 --> 00:11:49,000
What? Well, what did
you put in there?
310
00:11:49,033 --> 00:11:50,000
Gotta run.
311
00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:56,900
Oh, man.
312
00:12:02,638 --> 00:12:04,705
JERRY:
Hello, Jenna?
Did you dunk the spatula?
313
00:12:04,738 --> 00:12:06,684
Was it the spatula?
Hello?
314
00:12:06,717 --> 00:12:08,217
Damn it!
315
00:12:09,617 --> 00:12:11,084
Didn't even
give you a hint?
316
00:12:11,117 --> 00:12:12,317
No. Could be anything.
317
00:12:12,350 --> 00:12:13,950
The whole apartment's
a biohazard.
318
00:12:13,984 --> 00:12:16,917
You know what I bet it is?
Your remote.
319
00:12:16,950 --> 00:12:19,550
Yes, that is a definite
possibility.
320
00:12:21,050 --> 00:12:22,884
Or it could be
your Walkman there.
321
00:12:25,117 --> 00:12:26,650
Are you just
screwing with me?
322
00:12:26,684 --> 00:12:27,617
Yeah. I am.
323
00:12:29,684 --> 00:12:29,761
Hey.
Hey. How's life on the road?
324
00:12:29,761 --> 00:12:31,150
Hey.
Hey. How's life on the road?
325
00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:33,584
I'm making a difference,
Jerry.
I don't doubt it.
326
00:12:33,617 --> 00:12:36,084
You should see the smiles
on the drivers' faces.
327
00:12:36,117 --> 00:12:37,484
I mean, you gotta
look quick...
328
00:12:37,517 --> 00:12:38,584
but they're there.
329
00:12:38,617 --> 00:12:40,750
This.
What's this?
330
00:12:40,784 --> 00:12:43,117
You know those annoying little
bumps on the lane lines?
331
00:12:43,150 --> 00:12:44,717
[IMITATES BUMPING CAR]
332
00:12:46,050 --> 00:12:47,917
Isn't that some kind of
safety thing?
333
00:12:47,950 --> 00:12:50,717
Well, I had to pull 'em up
if I'm gonna widen the lanes.
334
00:12:51,717 --> 00:12:53,350
What the hell
are you talking about?
335
00:12:53,384 --> 00:12:56,617
Well...you know how in planes
they got first class?
336
00:12:56,650 --> 00:12:58,084
More legroom,
better ride?
337
00:12:58,117 --> 00:12:59,761
Well, I'm bringing
that concept to mile 114.
338
00:12:59,761 --> 00:13:00,950
Well, I'm bringing
that concept to mile 114.
339
00:13:00,984 --> 00:13:03,317
How are you gonna
widen the lanes?
340
00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:05,517
Well, you black out
lane lines one and three,
341
00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:06,917
and a four-lane
highway
342
00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:09,984
becomes a two-lane
comfort cruise.
343
00:13:10,017 --> 00:13:11,517
So you got any black paint?
344
00:13:11,550 --> 00:13:13,517
Yeah. In my tool shed,
next to the riding mower.
345
00:13:13,550 --> 00:13:15,317
ELAINE:
Yeah.
346
00:13:15,350 --> 00:13:17,750
I'd like an order
of supreme flounder,
347
00:13:17,784 --> 00:13:19,250
number 47.
348
00:13:19,284 --> 00:13:20,684
Yeah.
349
00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,950
Apartment 1Q.
350
00:13:22,984 --> 00:13:25,017
1Q? Whose apartment
is that?
351
00:13:25,050 --> 00:13:27,350
That's the janitor closet...
352
00:13:27,384 --> 00:13:29,450
across the street.
353
00:13:29,484 --> 00:13:29,761
You're pretending to live in
a janitor's closet
354
00:13:29,761 --> 00:13:31,517
You're pretending to live in
a janitor's closet
355
00:13:31,550 --> 00:13:32,984
just to get this flounder?
356
00:13:33,017 --> 00:13:35,684
It's better than eating
it alone in the restaurant
357
00:13:35,717 --> 00:13:37,384
like some loser.
358
00:13:38,617 --> 00:13:40,350
That stuff is unbelievable.
359
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:41,584
I'd eat it out of
a dumpster.
360
00:13:41,617 --> 00:13:43,017
[SNIFFS]
361
00:13:43,050 --> 00:13:45,984
How do you know about it?
You're not in the delivery zone.
362
00:13:46,017 --> 00:13:47,584
Well, Newman uses
his mail truck
363
00:13:47,617 --> 00:13:49,817
to run fish for China Panda
on the weekends.
364
00:13:49,850 --> 00:13:51,017
Well...
365
00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:53,484
mine's coming in 10,
so I'll see you boys.
366
00:13:55,017 --> 00:13:56,150
Now...
[CLAPS]
367
00:13:56,184 --> 00:13:57,717
...where's that tool shed
of yours?
368
00:14:06,884 --> 00:14:09,550
Hi. Sorry. I didn't hear you.
I was in the shower.
369
00:14:11,350 --> 00:14:12,650
I'll see you.
370
00:14:15,184 --> 00:14:16,984
You Costanza?
Yeah.
371
00:14:17,017 --> 00:14:18,850
Thanks for-- Thanks for
coming by, fellas.
372
00:14:18,884 --> 00:14:19,984
Yeah.
373
00:14:20,017 --> 00:14:22,017
Got a set of keys
buried in the pothole.
374
00:14:22,050 --> 00:14:23,117
[CHUCKLES]
375
00:14:23,150 --> 00:14:24,784
What are the keys
doing in there?
376
00:14:24,817 --> 00:14:27,484
Just need to, uh--
To dig them up.
377
00:14:27,517 --> 00:14:29,117
You put 'em in there?
378
00:14:29,150 --> 00:14:29,761
No, no. It's, uh--
It's a long story.
379
00:14:29,761 --> 00:14:31,450
No, no. It's, uh--
It's a long story.
380
00:14:31,484 --> 00:14:34,284
Just, uh, try to
get it up.
381
00:14:34,317 --> 00:14:36,117
Bad place
to put your keys.
382
00:14:36,150 --> 00:14:37,617
Yeah, I know that.
383
00:14:37,650 --> 00:14:38,550
[CLEARS THROAT]
384
00:14:39,650 --> 00:14:41,784
Could you start working?
385
00:14:41,817 --> 00:14:43,117
Difficult job.
386
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,150
If you want those keys,
387
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:45,817
we're gonna have to
dig this up.
388
00:14:47,350 --> 00:14:49,150
Oh, w-- Wait a minute.
389
00:14:49,184 --> 00:14:50,150
Wait a minute.
390
00:14:50,184 --> 00:14:51,450
[SNORTS]
391
00:14:51,484 --> 00:14:52,617
Is this about money?
392
00:14:52,650 --> 00:14:53,817
Yeah.
393
00:14:53,850 --> 00:14:54,950
[SNORTS]
394
00:14:54,984 --> 00:14:55,950
It's about money.
395
00:14:57,984 --> 00:14:59,617
[CAR HORNS HONKING]
396
00:15:10,817 --> 00:15:12,117
[MUMBLES]
397
00:15:14,450 --> 00:15:16,850
Excuse me. what are you
doing in there?
398
00:15:16,884 --> 00:15:20,284
Um, nothing.
I was just, um...
399
00:15:20,317 --> 00:15:21,850
I wasn't in there.
400
00:15:21,884 --> 00:15:25,284
You were hanging around
in there, lazing on the job,
401
00:15:25,317 --> 00:15:27,950
when you should have been
downstairs in the basement
402
00:15:27,984 --> 00:15:29,761
cleaning out those old carpets
and scrap wood.
403
00:15:29,761 --> 00:15:30,350
cleaning out those old carpets
and scrap wood.
404
00:15:30,384 --> 00:15:32,384
Right. Because...
405
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:35,684
I'm the janitor.
406
00:15:35,717 --> 00:15:37,917
Don't get smart with me.
407
00:15:37,950 --> 00:15:39,184
Yes, ma'am.
408
00:15:40,484 --> 00:15:42,284
[ALARM RINGING]
409
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:45,117
MAN [ON RADIO]:
If you're heading northon the Arthur Berkhardt,
410
00:15:45,150 --> 00:15:46,917
whoa, Nellie.For some reason
411
00:15:46,950 --> 00:15:49,284
four lanes are converginginto two instantaneously
412
00:15:49,317 --> 00:15:50,684
right at mile marker 114.
413
00:15:50,717 --> 00:15:52,117
I don't know what that is,
414
00:15:52,150 --> 00:15:54,084
but the A.B.E.'sa parking lot out there.
415
00:15:54,117 --> 00:15:55,850
Somebody screwed upon that one.
416
00:15:55,884 --> 00:15:56,984
[MOUTHS DIALOGUE]
417
00:15:59,350 --> 00:15:59,761
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
418
00:15:59,761 --> 00:16:00,684
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
419
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:04,450
Oh, it's you.
420
00:16:04,484 --> 00:16:05,784
Is the flounder here yet?
421
00:16:05,817 --> 00:16:06,950
No, it's not
here yet.
422
00:16:06,984 --> 00:16:08,384
You want the tour?
423
00:16:15,650 --> 00:16:17,450
There's this.
424
00:16:17,484 --> 00:16:18,750
Nice.
425
00:16:18,784 --> 00:16:20,950
French doors would really
open this place up.
426
00:16:20,984 --> 00:16:23,817
Oh, but you have
a slop bucket.
427
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:24,984
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
428
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:26,017
The fish.
429
00:16:29,484 --> 00:16:29,761
Oh. What are you doing here?
Hey.
430
00:16:29,761 --> 00:16:31,350
Oh. What are you doing here?
Hey.
431
00:16:31,384 --> 00:16:33,517
Hey.
Oh, I was, uh--
432
00:16:33,550 --> 00:16:35,784
I was waiting downstairs
for the jackhammer.
433
00:16:35,817 --> 00:16:37,517
I just thought I'd drop by.
434
00:16:37,550 --> 00:16:38,617
Kramer's guys?
435
00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:40,317
Yeah. I got 'em down
to 50 bucks.
436
00:16:40,350 --> 00:16:42,450
I just have to do
all the jackhammering myself.
437
00:16:42,484 --> 00:16:44,617
Oh, that's nice. Kind of
a hard-labor fantasy camp.
438
00:16:44,650 --> 00:16:46,517
Yeah, you know...
439
00:16:46,550 --> 00:16:48,450
Ow!
Oh, man!
440
00:16:48,484 --> 00:16:49,650
[JUNK
CLATTERING]
441
00:16:51,484 --> 00:16:52,450
I, uh--
442
00:16:52,484 --> 00:16:54,117
[ALL SIGH]
443
00:16:54,150 --> 00:16:56,950
Oh. Sweet setup.
I--
444
00:16:56,984 --> 00:16:58,850
Look, Elaine, do you have
any paint thinner?
445
00:16:58,884 --> 00:16:59,761
I need like, uh, 40 gallons.
446
00:16:59,761 --> 00:17:00,817
I need like, uh, 40 gallons.
447
00:17:00,850 --> 00:17:02,950
I'm plumb out.
448
00:17:02,984 --> 00:17:04,484
Oh, damn.
449
00:17:04,517 --> 00:17:05,984
If I don't get
that black paint off,
450
00:17:06,017 --> 00:17:06,984
the city's gonna go ape.
451
00:17:07,017 --> 00:17:08,984
I don't wanna lose my baby.
452
00:17:09,017 --> 00:17:11,084
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
WOMAN: Janitor!
453
00:17:11,117 --> 00:17:12,317
Oh. It's Mrs. Allister.
454
00:17:12,350 --> 00:17:14,517
Yeah, uh-- Yes, coming,
Mrs. Allister.
455
00:17:14,550 --> 00:17:16,917
Okay, I've gotta get out.
Let's go. Let's go.
456
00:17:16,950 --> 00:17:19,450
Here. Can you--?
You gotta move from the door.
457
00:17:19,484 --> 00:17:21,184
[CLATTERING]
458
00:17:24,350 --> 00:17:25,717
Hi.
459
00:17:26,817 --> 00:17:27,850
I, um--
460
00:17:27,884 --> 00:17:28,984
What can I do for you?
461
00:17:29,017 --> 00:17:29,761
I told you yesterday
462
00:17:29,761 --> 00:17:30,617
I told you yesterday
463
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,950
to haul that trash
out of the basement.
464
00:17:32,984 --> 00:17:34,484
Yeah. I am so sorry.
465
00:17:34,517 --> 00:17:36,784
Some of the children
have been playing near it
466
00:17:36,817 --> 00:17:38,450
and putting it
in their mouth.
467
00:17:38,484 --> 00:17:41,184
Well, a lot of it is vegetables.
[SCRAPING]
468
00:17:44,317 --> 00:17:45,350
You mop it.
469
00:17:48,017 --> 00:17:50,584
Get that stuff
out of there today,
470
00:17:50,617 --> 00:17:53,117
or you'll be out of here,
understand?
471
00:17:53,150 --> 00:17:56,184
Yes, ma'am.
JERRY: Stop pushing.
472
00:17:56,217 --> 00:17:57,750
Ugh. Kramer
spilled ammonia.
473
00:17:57,784 --> 00:17:58,884
I don't feel like eating.
474
00:17:59,984 --> 00:18:01,150
I'm gonna
borrow this, huh?
475
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:05,884
Janitors' meeting.
476
00:18:07,984 --> 00:18:09,350
JENNA:
So, Jerry...
477
00:18:09,384 --> 00:18:10,950
why'd you call me?
478
00:18:10,984 --> 00:18:12,317
Well, I thought
it's about time
479
00:18:12,350 --> 00:18:14,250
we put aside all this silliness.
480
00:18:14,284 --> 00:18:15,584
I know now that
you didn't
481
00:18:15,617 --> 00:18:18,084
put anything
in my toilet bowl.
482
00:18:18,117 --> 00:18:19,150
Did you?
483
00:18:19,184 --> 00:18:21,084
Yes. I did.
484
00:18:21,117 --> 00:18:22,617
Well, whatever.
485
00:18:22,650 --> 00:18:23,784
So how have you been?
486
00:18:23,817 --> 00:18:25,717
Good.
Good.
487
00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:28,417
Steak knife?
488
00:18:28,450 --> 00:18:29,761
It's just eating away at you,
isn't it?
489
00:18:29,761 --> 00:18:30,584
It's just eating away at you,
isn't it?
490
00:18:30,617 --> 00:18:31,684
No.
491
00:18:32,817 --> 00:18:34,084
Hi.
Hi.
492
00:18:34,117 --> 00:18:35,084
Hi.
Hi.
493
00:18:35,117 --> 00:18:36,417
Jerry, can I
borrow your car?
494
00:18:36,450 --> 00:18:38,117
For what?
495
00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:40,084
I have to haul some
dirty garbage to the dump.
496
00:18:40,117 --> 00:18:41,184
Dirt? That's
all right.
497
00:18:41,217 --> 00:18:43,284
Because there's
nothing wrong with dirt.
498
00:18:43,317 --> 00:18:45,150
Well, actually,
it's pretty grimy.
499
00:18:45,184 --> 00:18:47,417
Grime, grease,
filth, funk, ooze.
500
00:18:47,450 --> 00:18:48,417
Whatever it is,
501
00:18:48,450 --> 00:18:49,984
you take that stuff
502
00:18:50,017 --> 00:18:51,617
and put it
right on
503
00:18:51,650 --> 00:18:52,984
my leather
upholstery.
504
00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:56,484
Well, I don't know
who you are,
505
00:18:56,517 --> 00:18:57,850
but thanks for the car.
506
00:18:57,884 --> 00:18:59,317
Sure. Bye.
507
00:18:59,350 --> 00:18:59,761
Bye.
Bye.
508
00:18:59,761 --> 00:19:00,317
Bye.
Bye.
509
00:19:00,350 --> 00:19:01,484
Bye.
510
00:19:02,617 --> 00:19:03,750
There.
You see?
511
00:19:03,784 --> 00:19:05,350
I just lent her my car,
512
00:19:05,384 --> 00:19:09,184
and she's gonna fill it
with all sorts of...
513
00:19:10,684 --> 00:19:13,284
All right!
You win.
514
00:19:13,317 --> 00:19:15,784
That car was my last
germfree sanctuary.
515
00:19:15,817 --> 00:19:17,317
I slept there last night.
516
00:19:17,350 --> 00:19:19,517
Now, for the love of God,
please, what is it?
517
00:19:19,550 --> 00:19:20,617
What is it?
518
00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:21,617
Toilet brush.
519
00:19:21,650 --> 00:19:23,684
Toilet brush.
520
00:19:23,717 --> 00:19:25,784
Oh!
521
00:19:25,817 --> 00:19:27,650
All right.
I can replace that.
522
00:19:28,784 --> 00:19:29,761
You wanna order dinner?
523
00:19:29,761 --> 00:19:30,117
You wanna order dinner?
524
00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:32,284
Yeah. Let's, uh,
go to your place.
525
00:19:33,850 --> 00:19:35,150
Because I...
526
00:19:35,184 --> 00:19:36,284
threw out
all my dishes.
527
00:19:38,484 --> 00:19:39,817
[JACKHAMMER
DRILLING]
528
00:19:53,117 --> 00:19:54,750
[GRUNTS]
529
00:19:54,784 --> 00:19:56,850
That's true.
Mm.
530
00:19:56,884 --> 00:19:59,017
But I'll tell you
this much:
531
00:19:59,050 --> 00:19:59,761
I am never
532
00:19:59,761 --> 00:20:00,584
I am never
533
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:02,817
going to let some
silly hygienic mishap
534
00:20:02,850 --> 00:20:04,750
get in the way
of what could be
535
00:20:04,784 --> 00:20:07,150
a meaningful,
long-lasting relationship.
536
00:20:09,117 --> 00:20:10,150
[METAL DINGS]
537
00:20:10,817 --> 00:20:12,984
[RUMBLING]
538
00:20:14,450 --> 00:20:16,117
Do you hear
something?
539
00:20:16,150 --> 00:20:17,550
[RUMBLING]
540
00:20:18,817 --> 00:20:20,284
I don't know
what that could be.
541
00:20:23,650 --> 00:20:25,484
[METAL GROANING]
542
00:20:28,284 --> 00:20:29,761
RIZZUTO HEAD:
Holy cow.
543
00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:30,050
RIZZUTO HEAD:
Holy cow.
544
00:20:34,384 --> 00:20:35,584
JERRY:
Anyway,
545
00:20:35,617 --> 00:20:36,950
I'm a new man.
546
00:20:36,984 --> 00:20:39,417
And I'm looking
towards the future.
547
00:20:39,450 --> 00:20:42,017
Clean, dirty...
548
00:20:42,050 --> 00:20:43,117
whatever.
549
00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:44,984
[EXPLOSION,
JENNA SCREAMS]
550
00:20:45,017 --> 00:20:46,150
[WATER
RUSHING]
551
00:20:50,684 --> 00:20:52,617
Holy cow.
552
00:20:55,717 --> 00:20:57,384
Have a nice life.
553
00:21:00,184 --> 00:21:02,284
Hey, look at this.
554
00:21:02,317 --> 00:21:04,417
Wide lanes.
555
00:21:04,450 --> 00:21:07,750
This is so luxurious.
556
00:21:07,784 --> 00:21:11,317
Mm. Yeah.
557
00:21:15,484 --> 00:21:17,050
[GRUNTING]
558
00:21:22,550 --> 00:21:24,417
Bugger.
559
00:21:24,450 --> 00:21:28,017
♪ You're once, twice ♪
560
00:21:28,050 --> 00:21:29,761
♪ Three times a lady ♪
561
00:21:29,761 --> 00:21:31,084
♪ Three times a lady ♪
562
00:21:31,117 --> 00:21:33,184
[METAL CLANGS, TIRES SQUEAL]
563
00:21:33,217 --> 00:21:34,450
What the hell was that?
564
00:21:41,450 --> 00:21:42,350
Double bugger.
565
00:21:43,550 --> 00:21:45,850
NEWMAN:
♪ Yes, you're once ♪
566
00:21:45,884 --> 00:21:47,650
♪ Twice ♪
567
00:21:47,684 --> 00:21:49,117
♪ Three times a-- ♪
568
00:21:49,150 --> 00:21:50,150
[SCREAMING]
569
00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:51,384
[TIRES SQUEALING]
570
00:21:54,150 --> 00:21:55,984
Oh, the humanity!
571
00:21:56,017 --> 00:21:57,317
[♪]
572
00:21:57,350 --> 00:21:59,617
[NEWMAN SCREAMING]
573
00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:10,626
Hey, buddy. What are
you doing out here?
574
00:22:10,659 --> 00:22:12,926
Man, did you see
that fireball?
575
00:22:12,959 --> 00:22:14,926
Ooh.
Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
576
00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:17,293
[SIRENS WAILING]
577
00:22:17,326 --> 00:22:20,026
Hey, I gotta skedaddle.
You want a lift?
578
00:22:21,326 --> 00:22:22,626
Newman?
579
00:22:23,893 --> 00:22:25,526
Newman!
580
00:22:28,726 --> 00:22:31,193
All right, I'll meet you
at the coffee shop.
581
00:22:31,993 --> 00:22:32,530
[ENGINE STARTS]
582
00:22:32,530 --> 00:22:33,759
[ENGINE STARTS]
583
00:22:33,793 --> 00:22:35,626
[TIRES SQUEALING]
584
00:22:38,159 --> 00:22:40,626
[SIRENS WAILING]
585
00:22:40,659 --> 00:22:42,493
[♪]
586
00:22:43,626 --> 00:22:45,293
[NEWMAN SCREAMING]
39283
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese