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1
00:00:01,376 --> 00:00:02,509
[♪]
2
00:00:02,542 --> 00:00:05,676
A dollar eighty-nine.
Why is this $1.89?
3
00:00:05,709 --> 00:00:07,876
Why is there no
haggling in this country?
4
00:00:07,909 --> 00:00:09,342
We like to think
we've progressed
5
00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:11,176
beyond a knife fight
for a citrus drink.
6
00:00:11,209 --> 00:00:14,042
Not me.
Everything should be negotiable.
7
00:00:14,076 --> 00:00:15,176
Restaurants too?
8
00:00:15,209 --> 00:00:16,709
Absolutely.
Are you telling me
9
00:00:16,742 --> 00:00:19,476
there's no room to move
on pasta?
10
00:00:19,509 --> 00:00:21,376
All starches are a scam.
11
00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:23,942
Yeah, especially ziti,
with that big hole.
12
00:00:25,209 --> 00:00:26,909
Uh, excuse me.
How much is this?
13
00:00:26,942 --> 00:00:27,909
A dollar nineteen.
14
00:00:27,942 --> 00:00:29,309
I'll give you a quarter.
15
00:00:29,342 --> 00:00:30,000
Get the hell out of here.
16
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:31,009
Get the hell out of here.
17
00:00:31,042 --> 00:00:32,676
Tell him 40 and no fork.
18
00:00:32,709 --> 00:00:33,742
Thirty.
19
00:00:33,776 --> 00:00:36,242
That's it. You leave
and never come back.
20
00:00:36,276 --> 00:00:38,576
How about we leave
and come back in a week?
21
00:00:38,609 --> 00:00:40,076
Deal.
22
00:00:40,109 --> 00:00:41,709
All right. See?
23
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:42,842
We got something there.
24
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:44,676
[♪]
25
00:00:48,209 --> 00:00:49,976
Oh, check it out.
Wow,
26
00:00:50,009 --> 00:00:52,842
JERRY:
Kenny Rogers Roasters
finally opened.
27
00:00:52,876 --> 00:00:56,476
Hey, look at the size of that
neon chicken on the roof.
28
00:00:56,509 --> 00:00:58,342
No. Rogers can't sell chicken
around here.
29
00:00:58,376 --> 00:01:00,242
We got chicken places
on every block.
30
00:01:00,276 --> 00:01:02,876
He is the Gambler.
31
00:01:02,909 --> 00:01:05,509
Well, I gotta meet Newman
at the pet store.
32
00:01:05,542 --> 00:01:07,142
Helping him
pick out a turtle.
33
00:01:07,176 --> 00:01:08,176
Try and stay calm.
34
00:01:08,209 --> 00:01:10,009
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35
00:01:11,176 --> 00:01:12,176
Hey. Jerry?
36
00:01:12,209 --> 00:01:13,242
Seth.
37
00:01:13,276 --> 00:01:15,509
Wow, what has it been,
like, five years?
38
00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:16,380
At least.
You wanna grab lunch?
39
00:01:16,380 --> 00:01:17,676
At least.
You wanna grab lunch?
40
00:01:17,709 --> 00:01:20,009
Uh, I'm actually
headed back to the office.
41
00:01:20,042 --> 00:01:21,476
Seth, it's me.
42
00:01:21,509 --> 00:01:23,176
What's more important
than catching up
43
00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:24,842
with an old college buddy?
44
00:01:24,876 --> 00:01:27,542
Well, I am supposed
to be in this meeting.
45
00:01:27,576 --> 00:01:30,009
Blow it off.
Remember poli-sci?
46
00:01:30,042 --> 00:01:32,476
How many of those did we go to?
47
00:01:32,509 --> 00:01:35,876
All right, I guess I can go.
All right. All right.
48
00:01:35,909 --> 00:01:37,509
Hey, whatever happened
to Moochy?
49
00:01:37,542 --> 00:01:40,309
He's dead.
Is that right?
50
00:01:40,342 --> 00:01:42,309
I still don't know how you can
call lunch with me
51
00:01:42,342 --> 00:01:43,542
a business expense.
52
00:01:43,576 --> 00:01:44,909
What do you think
of the catalog?
53
00:01:44,942 --> 00:01:46,380
Stinks.
There, we just talked business.
54
00:01:46,380 --> 00:01:47,109
Stinks.
There, we just talked business.
55
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:51,176
We have the down comforter
and the cookware you liked.
56
00:01:51,209 --> 00:01:54,042
Oh, great. Put it all
on the Peterman account
with the other stuff.
57
00:01:54,076 --> 00:01:55,842
You know what else we have
you might like?
58
00:01:55,876 --> 00:01:57,176
I'll take it.
59
00:01:57,209 --> 00:02:00,242
Hey, you like?
60
00:02:01,942 --> 00:02:04,042
I think it looks
very nice on you.
61
00:02:04,076 --> 00:02:05,376
Really?
62
00:02:05,409 --> 00:02:07,576
Hm.
63
00:02:07,609 --> 00:02:09,809
Elaine, huh?
64
00:02:09,842 --> 00:02:11,509
Peterman account?
65
00:02:11,542 --> 00:02:12,709
Why not?
66
00:02:12,742 --> 00:02:15,542
And some hair
for my little friend here.
67
00:02:15,576 --> 00:02:16,380
So how's
your standup career?
68
00:02:16,380 --> 00:02:18,142
So how's
your standup career?
69
00:02:18,176 --> 00:02:19,309
Good. As a matter of fact,
70
00:02:19,342 --> 00:02:21,009
I almost had my own show
in Japan.
71
00:02:21,042 --> 00:02:23,009
You speak Japanese?
No.
72
00:02:23,042 --> 00:02:26,276
So you would have done it
in Japan, but in English?
73
00:02:28,076 --> 00:02:29,909
I don't know.
74
00:02:32,009 --> 00:02:33,542
So, what's this job of yours?
75
00:02:33,576 --> 00:02:35,676
Big investment firm.
Mm.
76
00:02:35,709 --> 00:02:37,842
We just got
the Citibank account.
77
00:02:37,876 --> 00:02:41,142
In fact, today was our
first big meeting with them.
78
00:02:41,176 --> 00:02:43,976
The meeting you blew off?
79
00:02:44,009 --> 00:02:46,076
[CHUCKLES]
Yeah.
80
00:02:47,242 --> 00:02:48,709
Wasn't that kind of important?
81
00:02:51,076 --> 00:02:52,909
Yeah.
82
00:02:52,942 --> 00:02:54,876
[♪]
83
00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:57,376
ELAINE:
And I bought a whole new set
of cookware
84
00:02:57,409 --> 00:02:58,876
and a water pick.
85
00:02:58,909 --> 00:03:00,076
You use a water pick?
86
00:03:00,109 --> 00:03:01,642
Sure. Water pick,
87
00:03:01,676 --> 00:03:04,009
floss, Plax, brush, Listerine.
88
00:03:04,042 --> 00:03:06,742
So you go into the bathroom 11,
you're in bed by, what, 2?
89
00:03:06,776 --> 00:03:08,076
Oh, at the latest.
90
00:03:08,109 --> 00:03:10,609
Oh, hang on a second.
I got another call.
91
00:03:11,609 --> 00:03:12,809
Hello?
92
00:03:12,842 --> 00:03:15,376
Good day, Miss Benes.
It's Roger Ipswich.
93
00:03:15,409 --> 00:03:16,380
Oh, hey, how are things
doing in Accounting?
94
00:03:16,380 --> 00:03:17,676
Oh, hey, how are things
doing in Accounting?
95
00:03:17,709 --> 00:03:19,842
Miss Benes,
I notice you've been charging
96
00:03:19,876 --> 00:03:22,576
quite a bit of merchandise
on the Peterman account.
97
00:03:22,609 --> 00:03:25,042
Well, I am the president.
98
00:03:25,076 --> 00:03:29,009
Yes, and we're all
very impressed.
99
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,676
Nevertheless,
the expense account
100
00:03:30,709 --> 00:03:33,842
is for business purposes only.
101
00:03:33,876 --> 00:03:36,009
Well...
Well, isn't the president
102
00:03:36,042 --> 00:03:38,242
allowed to do anything
that they want?
103
00:03:38,276 --> 00:03:40,709
No.
104
00:03:40,742 --> 00:03:43,309
I'll be in your office
first thing tomorrow.
105
00:03:43,342 --> 00:03:45,642
Good day.
106
00:03:45,676 --> 00:03:46,380
Good day.
107
00:03:46,380 --> 00:03:47,376
Good day.
108
00:03:53,242 --> 00:03:54,876
Hello?
109
00:03:56,576 --> 00:03:58,642
Anybody?
110
00:03:58,676 --> 00:04:01,009
[♪]
111
00:04:01,042 --> 00:04:02,509
[SHIVERS]
112
00:04:04,009 --> 00:04:05,309
Hey.
113
00:04:05,342 --> 00:04:07,209
Hey.
114
00:04:07,242 --> 00:04:09,409
Why didn't you get
the big one?
115
00:04:09,442 --> 00:04:11,642
This hat just bottles in
the heat.
116
00:04:11,676 --> 00:04:13,009
I don't even need a coat.
117
00:04:13,042 --> 00:04:14,542
It's unbelievable.
118
00:04:14,576 --> 00:04:16,042
I don't believe it.
119
00:04:16,076 --> 00:04:16,380
And I got a date
with the saleswoman.
120
00:04:16,380 --> 00:04:17,742
And I got a date
with the saleswoman.
121
00:04:17,776 --> 00:04:20,076
She got a little Marisa Tomei
thing going on.
122
00:04:20,109 --> 00:04:22,876
Ah. Too bad you've got a little
George Costanza thing going on.
123
00:04:22,909 --> 00:04:25,309
I'm going out
with her tomorrow.
124
00:04:25,342 --> 00:04:26,909
She said she had
some errands to run.
125
00:04:26,942 --> 00:04:28,009
That's a date?
126
00:04:28,042 --> 00:04:29,642
What's the difference?
127
00:04:29,676 --> 00:04:31,142
You know the way I work.
128
00:04:31,176 --> 00:04:33,042
I'm like a commercial jingle.
129
00:04:33,076 --> 00:04:35,742
First, it's a little irritating.
Then you hear it a few times.
130
00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,042
You hum it in the shower.
131
00:04:37,076 --> 00:04:38,376
By the third date
it's:
132
00:04:38,409 --> 00:04:41,509
♪ By Mennen ♪
133
00:04:41,542 --> 00:04:43,676
How do you make sure you'll get
to the third date?
134
00:04:43,709 --> 00:04:46,380
If there's any doubt,
I do a leave-behind.
135
00:04:46,380 --> 00:04:46,709
If there's any doubt,
I do a leave-behind.
136
00:04:46,742 --> 00:04:48,576
Keys, gloves, scarf.
137
00:04:48,609 --> 00:04:50,342
I go back to her place
to pick it up--
138
00:04:50,376 --> 00:04:52,009
[SMACKS LIPS]
--date number two.
139
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,509
That is so old.
140
00:04:53,542 --> 00:04:56,309
Why don't you just show up
at her house in a wooden horse?
141
00:04:56,342 --> 00:04:59,476
[♪]
142
00:04:59,509 --> 00:05:01,442
♪ By Mennen ♪
143
00:05:02,609 --> 00:05:04,242
What the--?
144
00:05:12,676 --> 00:05:14,542
[BUZZING]
145
00:05:16,409 --> 00:05:17,876
Wh-what's goin' on in there?
146
00:05:17,909 --> 00:05:18,876
What?
147
00:05:18,909 --> 00:05:20,042
That light.
148
00:05:20,076 --> 00:05:21,976
Oh, the red.
149
00:05:22,009 --> 00:05:23,642
Yeah, it's the chicken roaster
sign.
150
00:05:23,676 --> 00:05:26,209
You know, it's right across
from my window.
151
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:27,809
Can't you shut the shades?
152
00:05:27,842 --> 00:05:29,309
They are shut.
153
00:05:29,342 --> 00:05:32,176
Oh, by the way,
your friend Seth, he stopped by.
154
00:05:32,209 --> 00:05:34,376
Oh, yeah? What'd he have to say?
Yeah, he was fired.
155
00:05:34,409 --> 00:05:36,709
[♪]
156
00:05:36,742 --> 00:05:37,976
ELAINE:
Well, as you can see,
157
00:05:38,009 --> 00:05:39,542
the comforter
I expensed is actually
158
00:05:39,576 --> 00:05:41,876
the Aristotle goose-down tunic.
159
00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:43,242
[CHUCKLES]
160
00:05:43,276 --> 00:05:44,542
What do you think?
161
00:05:44,576 --> 00:05:46,380
Another bull's-eye.
Hm.
162
00:05:46,380 --> 00:05:46,409
Another bull's-eye.
Hm.
163
00:05:46,442 --> 00:05:49,209
Well, Mr. Ipswich,
since every one of my expenses
164
00:05:49,242 --> 00:05:50,476
was obviously
165
00:05:50,509 --> 00:05:54,176
for a legitimate
business purpose...
166
00:05:54,209 --> 00:05:57,509
I just need to see the sable hat
you purchased yesterday.
167
00:05:57,542 --> 00:05:59,809
The hat? Why do you need
to see the hat?
168
00:05:59,842 --> 00:06:02,009
It cost $8000.
169
00:06:02,042 --> 00:06:03,842
What? Oh.
170
00:06:03,876 --> 00:06:05,642
Ooh.
171
00:06:05,676 --> 00:06:07,509
[♪]
172
00:06:07,542 --> 00:06:09,542
Seth, if you knew the meeting
was so important,
173
00:06:09,576 --> 00:06:11,176
why did you go
to lunch with me?
174
00:06:11,209 --> 00:06:12,742
We're old college buddies.
175
00:06:12,776 --> 00:06:15,009
I only knew you through Moochy.
176
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:16,380
Hey, Jerry, don't worry
about it, all right?
177
00:06:16,380 --> 00:06:17,842
Hey, Jerry, don't worry
about it, all right?
178
00:06:17,876 --> 00:06:21,342
The important thing is,
is we got a chance to catch up.
179
00:06:21,376 --> 00:06:24,176
Mind if I, uh,
grab the want ads?
180
00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:27,342
Um, actually, I haven't read
Tank McNamara yet.
181
00:06:27,376 --> 00:06:28,942
[BUZZING]
182
00:06:33,242 --> 00:06:34,576
How's life on the red planet?
183
00:06:34,609 --> 00:06:36,176
I...
184
00:06:36,209 --> 00:06:37,676
It's killin' me.
185
00:06:37,709 --> 00:06:39,976
I can't eat. I can't sleep.
186
00:06:40,009 --> 00:06:41,909
All I can see
is that giant red sun
187
00:06:41,942 --> 00:06:44,876
in the shape of a chicken.
188
00:06:44,909 --> 00:06:46,380
Well, did you go down to
the Kenny Rogers and complain?
189
00:06:46,380 --> 00:06:47,509
Well, did you go down to
the Kenny Rogers and complain?
190
00:06:47,542 --> 00:06:49,342
Oh, they gave me the heave-ho.
191
00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:51,142
You know,
I don't think that Kenny Rogers
192
00:06:51,176 --> 00:06:53,876
has any idea
what's going on down there.
193
00:06:53,909 --> 00:06:55,509
What are you doin'?
194
00:06:57,342 --> 00:06:58,642
Getting some cereal.
195
00:06:58,676 --> 00:06:59,942
That-- That's tomato juice.
196
00:07:04,776 --> 00:07:06,676
That looked like milk to me.
197
00:07:08,409 --> 00:07:12,209
Jerry, my rods and cones
are all screwed up.
198
00:07:12,242 --> 00:07:14,242
All right, that's it.
199
00:07:14,276 --> 00:07:15,542
I gotta move in with you, Jerry.
200
00:07:19,076 --> 00:07:21,209
I don't know, Kramer.
Uh...
201
00:07:21,242 --> 00:07:23,442
My concern is that...
202
00:07:24,509 --> 00:07:26,609
living together
after a while, we...
203
00:07:29,409 --> 00:07:33,076
might start to get on
each other's nerves a little.
204
00:07:33,109 --> 00:07:34,409
Listen to me,
I got a great idea.
205
00:07:34,442 --> 00:07:35,742
You're a heavy sleeper, right?
206
00:07:35,776 --> 00:07:37,176
Why don't we switch apartments?
207
00:07:37,209 --> 00:07:38,842
Or I could sleep in the park.
208
00:07:40,409 --> 00:07:41,876
You could knock
these walls down,
209
00:07:41,909 --> 00:07:44,542
make it an eight-room
luxury suite.
210
00:07:44,576 --> 00:07:46,380
Jerry, these
are loadbearing walls.
211
00:07:46,380 --> 00:07:47,042
Jerry, these
are loadbearing walls.
212
00:07:47,076 --> 00:07:49,842
They're not gonna come down.
213
00:07:49,876 --> 00:07:51,809
Yeah, that's no good.
214
00:07:51,842 --> 00:07:54,209
I may have to drive that place
out of business.
215
00:07:54,242 --> 00:07:55,542
Well, how are you gonna do that?
216
00:07:55,576 --> 00:07:57,509
Like we did in the '60s.
217
00:07:57,542 --> 00:07:58,942
Takin' it to the streets.
218
00:07:59,909 --> 00:08:01,742
[BUZZING]
219
00:08:03,709 --> 00:08:04,676
[♪]
220
00:08:04,709 --> 00:08:06,042
HEATHER:
Thanks, George,
221
00:08:06,076 --> 00:08:08,576
but I got it from here.
Oh, no, I'm in already. Come on.
222
00:08:11,276 --> 00:08:14,542
So, uh, you wanna
get together tomorrow?
223
00:08:14,576 --> 00:08:16,380
No, I'm gonna be pretty busy.
224
00:08:16,380 --> 00:08:16,709
No, I'm gonna be pretty busy.
225
00:08:16,742 --> 00:08:18,509
What about this weekend?
226
00:08:18,542 --> 00:08:21,342
I'm gonna be busy for a while.
227
00:08:21,376 --> 00:08:24,342
Okay.
Uh, see ya.
228
00:08:24,376 --> 00:08:25,876
Hey.
229
00:08:25,909 --> 00:08:27,176
You forgot your keys.
230
00:08:27,209 --> 00:08:28,709
Th-those aren't my keys.
231
00:08:28,742 --> 00:08:30,042
Well, they're not mine.
232
00:08:31,109 --> 00:08:32,676
Oh.
233
00:08:32,709 --> 00:08:33,909
[LAUGHS]
234
00:08:33,942 --> 00:08:36,709
They are my keys.
How weird.
235
00:08:36,742 --> 00:08:37,876
[PHONE RINGING]
236
00:08:37,909 --> 00:08:39,209
Goodbye, George.
237
00:08:39,242 --> 00:08:40,609
Yeah, bye.
238
00:08:41,609 --> 00:08:43,242
George, bye.
239
00:08:45,376 --> 00:08:46,380
Hello?
240
00:08:46,380 --> 00:08:46,676
Hello?
241
00:08:46,709 --> 00:08:49,709
You are not gonna
believe the date I just had.
242
00:08:51,709 --> 00:08:53,009
♪ Costanza ♪
243
00:08:53,042 --> 00:08:55,342
[♪]
244
00:08:55,376 --> 00:08:58,342
ELAINE:
What do you mean,
you don't have the hat?
245
00:08:58,376 --> 00:09:01,009
I left it at Heather's.
Are these alive?
246
00:09:01,042 --> 00:09:03,042
No, dead.
247
00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:05,509
George, I need
that Russian hat back.
248
00:09:05,542 --> 00:09:07,676
All right, all right.
I'll call Heather.
249
00:09:07,709 --> 00:09:10,209
You'll get your hat back.
I will get a second date.
250
00:09:10,242 --> 00:09:13,876
[CHUCKLES]
Now, watch the magic.
251
00:09:13,909 --> 00:09:15,876
[BEEPING]
252
00:09:15,909 --> 00:09:16,380
Dial nine, Merlin.
253
00:09:16,380 --> 00:09:17,909
Dial nine, Merlin.
254
00:09:20,509 --> 00:09:22,676
[SIGHS]
[RINGING]
255
00:09:22,709 --> 00:09:24,676
HEATHER: Hello?
Heather, hi, it's, uh--
256
00:09:24,709 --> 00:09:25,742
It's George Costanza.
257
00:09:25,776 --> 00:09:27,842
Oy.
258
00:09:27,876 --> 00:09:30,076
Uh, listen, uh,
I don't mean to bother you,
259
00:09:30,109 --> 00:09:32,976
but, uh, silly me, I--
I think I may have left my hat
260
00:09:33,009 --> 00:09:34,676
in your apartment,
so I thought
261
00:09:34,709 --> 00:09:36,309
I'd just come by later
and pick it up.
262
00:09:36,342 --> 00:09:38,342
You didn't leave a hat here.
263
00:09:38,376 --> 00:09:39,909
I'm pretty sure I left it, uh,
264
00:09:39,942 --> 00:09:41,476
behind the cushion
of the chair,
265
00:09:41,509 --> 00:09:42,776
accidentally.
266
00:09:43,909 --> 00:09:45,642
No hat.George, I've gotta go.
267
00:09:45,676 --> 00:09:46,380
Uh, you know what,
maybe I'll just come--
268
00:09:46,380 --> 00:09:47,476
Uh, you know what,
maybe I'll just come--
269
00:09:47,509 --> 00:09:49,776
[DIAL TONE]
Um-- Um, hey, hey.
270
00:09:51,909 --> 00:09:53,676
[♪]
271
00:09:55,576 --> 00:09:57,976
Seth?
Jerry, hi.
272
00:09:58,009 --> 00:09:59,709
What do you think?
273
00:09:59,742 --> 00:10:02,576
I think you're takin' the trash
out for this chicken place,
274
00:10:02,609 --> 00:10:04,042
but that couldn't be.
275
00:10:04,076 --> 00:10:06,242
Yeah, I'm the new manager.
276
00:10:06,276 --> 00:10:09,176
But you were an executive.
This is fast food.
277
00:10:09,209 --> 00:10:11,876
Not fast food.
Good food quickly.
278
00:10:11,909 --> 00:10:14,409
Hey, next time lunch
will be on me, huh, Jer?
279
00:10:14,442 --> 00:10:16,009
KRAMER:
Hey!
280
00:10:16,042 --> 00:10:16,380
Stay away from the chicken!
281
00:10:16,380 --> 00:10:17,909
Stay away from the chicken!
282
00:10:17,942 --> 00:10:19,309
It's bad!
283
00:10:19,342 --> 00:10:22,076
Bad chicken! Mess you up!
284
00:10:22,109 --> 00:10:24,909
That's not going to be
good for business.
285
00:10:24,942 --> 00:10:26,576
That's not gonna be good
for anybody.
286
00:10:26,609 --> 00:10:28,842
[♪]
287
00:10:31,076 --> 00:10:32,742
[♪]
288
00:10:34,510 --> 00:10:36,218
KRAMER:
Jerry, I'm so glad
we switched apartments.
289
00:10:36,251 --> 00:10:37,518
It was the perfect solution.
290
00:10:37,551 --> 00:10:39,618
Look, Kramer,
if I'm gonna live over there,
291
00:10:39,651 --> 00:10:41,885
you gotta take
some of this stuff out.
292
00:10:41,918 --> 00:10:44,518
I mean, this thing
is really freaking me out.
293
00:10:44,551 --> 00:10:46,018
I feel like it's gonna
come to life
294
00:10:46,051 --> 00:10:48,351
in the middle of the night
and kill me.
295
00:10:48,385 --> 00:10:51,218
What, Mr. Marbles?
He's harmless.
296
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:52,585
And one other thing,
297
00:10:52,618 --> 00:10:54,185
I don't want Newman
using my--
298
00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:55,785
[TOILET FLUSHES]
299
00:10:55,818 --> 00:10:57,585
Oh, no.
300
00:10:57,618 --> 00:10:59,851
Nice place you got here, Kramer.
Yeah.
301
00:10:59,885 --> 00:11:00,880
A man could really
get some thinking done.
302
00:11:00,880 --> 00:11:03,251
A man could really
get some thinking done.
303
00:11:05,451 --> 00:11:06,918
Well, don't get
too comfortable.
304
00:11:06,951 --> 00:11:08,351
As soon as Seth gets a real job,
305
00:11:08,385 --> 00:11:11,851
you two are going back
in that chicken supernova.
306
00:11:11,885 --> 00:11:14,351
What's that, Rogers chicken?
307
00:11:14,385 --> 00:11:15,918
Oh, get that out of here.
308
00:11:15,951 --> 00:11:19,085
I don't know. The man makes
a pretty strong bird.
309
00:11:19,118 --> 00:11:21,085
Yeah, but I'm boycotting.
310
00:11:35,418 --> 00:11:37,218
What is that, hickory?
Yeah.
311
00:11:37,251 --> 00:11:39,885
It's the wood
that makes it good.
312
00:11:39,918 --> 00:11:41,618
Really?
Uh-huh.
313
00:11:41,651 --> 00:11:42,851
Let me--
[GROWLS]
314
00:11:42,885 --> 00:11:46,285
Oh, stop it.
What's the matter with you?
315
00:11:47,751 --> 00:11:49,551
Mm.
316
00:11:49,585 --> 00:11:50,551
[♪]
317
00:11:50,585 --> 00:11:52,018
[KNOCKING ON DOOR]
318
00:11:52,051 --> 00:11:53,385
Can I help you?
319
00:11:53,418 --> 00:11:56,051
Hi, yeah, I'm Elaine Benes.
We met at Barney's.
320
00:11:56,085 --> 00:11:58,685
I'm a friend
of George Costanza's.
321
00:11:58,718 --> 00:11:59,785
[SIGHS]
322
00:11:59,818 --> 00:12:00,880
Hi.
323
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:00,885
Hi.
324
00:12:00,918 --> 00:12:03,285
Um, whether you're
aware of it or not,
325
00:12:03,318 --> 00:12:05,951
George had this
pathetic little plan
326
00:12:05,985 --> 00:12:07,851
to leave something behind
327
00:12:07,885 --> 00:12:10,385
so he could try and weasel
a second date.
328
00:12:10,418 --> 00:12:11,685
Really?
329
00:12:11,718 --> 00:12:14,518
I know. He-- He has
a real confidence problem.
330
00:12:14,551 --> 00:12:16,751
Well, not really--
George.
331
00:12:19,051 --> 00:12:21,518
Anyway, I know you told him
that you didn't have the hat
332
00:12:21,551 --> 00:12:23,251
because you didn't
wanna see him again,
333
00:12:23,285 --> 00:12:25,518
and more sympathetic
334
00:12:25,551 --> 00:12:27,518
I could not be,
335
00:12:27,551 --> 00:12:30,880
but I really do need to have
the hat back.
336
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:31,751
but I really do need to have
the hat back.
337
00:12:31,785 --> 00:12:33,251
Look. I don't know
what to tell you,
338
00:12:33,285 --> 00:12:34,618
but there's no hat here.
339
00:12:34,651 --> 00:12:37,551
I mean, maybe the maid took it.
I had people over, but--
340
00:12:37,585 --> 00:12:38,951
Well, that makes sense.
341
00:12:38,985 --> 00:12:40,418
Well, then you wouldn't mind
342
00:12:40,451 --> 00:12:42,185
if we took a second look around?
343
00:12:42,218 --> 00:12:44,185
Be my guest.
344
00:12:44,218 --> 00:12:45,418
Good to see you again.
345
00:12:45,451 --> 00:12:47,418
[♪]
346
00:12:50,785 --> 00:12:52,118
She's bluffing.
[SIGHS]
347
00:12:52,151 --> 00:12:54,451
She's got it stashed away
in there somewhere.
348
00:12:54,485 --> 00:12:57,585
This is an absolute
disaster.
349
00:12:57,618 --> 00:13:00,551
Oh, I don't know.
Check this out.
350
00:13:06,285 --> 00:13:08,785
You stole her clock?
351
00:13:12,485 --> 00:13:14,585
Well done.
352
00:13:14,618 --> 00:13:16,018
Yep.
353
00:13:16,051 --> 00:13:18,385
This is one for our side.
354
00:13:18,418 --> 00:13:20,885
[♪]
355
00:13:20,918 --> 00:13:23,218
[BED CREAKING]
356
00:13:32,385 --> 00:13:34,118
[BUZZING, CREAKING]
357
00:13:36,451 --> 00:13:38,551
What is that creaking?
358
00:13:38,585 --> 00:13:41,551
It's like I'min the hold of a ship.
359
00:13:41,585 --> 00:13:43,585
I've gotta relax.
360
00:13:46,885 --> 00:13:49,218
[DOOR CREAKS, CLOSES]
361
00:13:49,251 --> 00:13:51,851
Hello?
362
00:13:51,885 --> 00:13:53,251
Is somebody there?
363
00:13:53,285 --> 00:13:54,718
[FEET PATTERING]
364
00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:56,218
M-- Mr. Marbles?
365
00:13:56,251 --> 00:13:58,751
[♪]
366
00:13:59,985 --> 00:14:00,880
ELAINE:
So I told Ipswich
367
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:01,285
ELAINE:
So I told Ipswich
368
00:14:01,318 --> 00:14:03,418
I'd have the hat
by this afternoon.
369
00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:04,918
What am I gonna do?
370
00:14:04,951 --> 00:14:07,618
You should sleep with him.
371
00:14:10,651 --> 00:14:12,885
[BUZZING]
372
00:14:12,918 --> 00:14:14,551
Hi, buddy.
373
00:14:15,718 --> 00:14:18,385
I'm on no sleep, no sleep.
374
00:14:18,418 --> 00:14:19,685
You don't know what it's like.
375
00:14:19,718 --> 00:14:21,751
All night long,
things are creaking and cracking
376
00:14:21,785 --> 00:14:25,085
and that red light
is burning my brain.
377
00:14:25,118 --> 00:14:26,418
You look a little stressed.
378
00:14:26,451 --> 00:14:28,418
Oh, I'm stressed.
379
00:14:32,085 --> 00:14:33,851
So, Kramer,
what am I supposed to do?
380
00:14:33,885 --> 00:14:35,885
If I don't have
that fur hat by 4:00,
381
00:14:35,918 --> 00:14:38,351
they're gonna take me down
like Nixon.
382
00:14:38,385 --> 00:14:41,051
You know my friend
Bob Sacamano?
383
00:14:41,085 --> 00:14:42,718
I thought he was
Kramer's friend.
384
00:14:42,751 --> 00:14:45,585
Well, he called last night about
3 a.m., and we got to talkin'.
385
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:47,718
He sells Russian hats
down at Battery Park,
386
00:14:47,751 --> 00:14:49,685
40 bucks.
387
00:14:49,718 --> 00:14:52,518
Forty bucks?
Are they sable?
388
00:14:52,551 --> 00:14:54,985
No, but the difference
is negligible.
389
00:14:55,918 --> 00:14:59,118
Oh, yeah, I like this idea.
390
00:14:59,151 --> 00:15:00,880
All right.
Let's give it a shot. Let's go.
391
00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:00,918
All right.
Let's give it a shot. Let's go.
392
00:15:00,951 --> 00:15:02,451
Giddyup.
393
00:15:04,951 --> 00:15:06,918
It's getting cold.
It's getting cold.
394
00:15:06,951 --> 00:15:08,751
That was a close one.
395
00:15:08,785 --> 00:15:10,418
Why do we have to
keep this from Jerry?
396
00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:12,551
If Jerry finds out I'm hooked
on Rogers chicken,
397
00:15:12,585 --> 00:15:14,351
I'm back in there
with the red menace.
398
00:15:14,385 --> 00:15:16,885
[♪]
399
00:15:16,918 --> 00:15:20,518
IPSWICH:
Miss Benes, the hat you charged
to the company was sable.
400
00:15:20,551 --> 00:15:23,451
This is nutria.
401
00:15:23,485 --> 00:15:26,351
W-- Well, that's a, um--
402
00:15:26,385 --> 00:15:29,351
It's a kind of sable.
403
00:15:29,385 --> 00:15:30,880
No, it's a kind of rat.
404
00:15:30,880 --> 00:15:32,951
No, it's a kind of rat.
405
00:15:34,151 --> 00:15:35,385
That's a rat hat?
406
00:15:36,385 --> 00:15:38,085
And a poorly made one,
407
00:15:38,118 --> 00:15:40,118
even by rat-hat standards.
408
00:15:41,451 --> 00:15:43,185
I have no choice
but to recommended
409
00:15:43,218 --> 00:15:45,451
your prompt termination
to the board of directors.
410
00:15:45,485 --> 00:15:47,951
Nothing short of the approval
of Peterman himself
411
00:15:47,985 --> 00:15:49,451
will save you this time.
412
00:15:49,485 --> 00:15:52,185
But-- But he's in
the Burmese jungle.
413
00:15:52,218 --> 00:15:54,551
And quite mad too,
from what I hear.
414
00:15:54,585 --> 00:15:56,685
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
415
00:15:56,718 --> 00:15:58,551
Can I fire you?
416
00:15:58,585 --> 00:16:00,051
No.
417
00:16:00,085 --> 00:16:00,880
[♪]
418
00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:02,051
[♪]
419
00:16:03,251 --> 00:16:04,585
KRAMER:
So Heather called?
420
00:16:04,618 --> 00:16:06,751
Yeah, but get this.
The message said,
421
00:16:06,785 --> 00:16:09,518
"Call me if you have the time."
422
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:12,451
[CHUCKLES]
If I have the time? You get it?
423
00:16:12,485 --> 00:16:15,585
No, but is this all
very exciting.
424
00:16:15,618 --> 00:16:18,085
She knows that I have her clock.
425
00:16:18,118 --> 00:16:20,185
I know that she has my hat.
426
00:16:20,218 --> 00:16:22,585
I think she's getting ready
to make an exchange.
427
00:16:22,618 --> 00:16:24,085
Well, there is the possibility
428
00:16:24,118 --> 00:16:26,485
that you've gone right out
of your mind.
429
00:16:28,118 --> 00:16:30,880
I've looked at that.
It seems unlikely.
430
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:30,918
I've looked at that.
It seems unlikely.
431
00:16:30,951 --> 00:16:33,518
Well, I'd look again.
432
00:16:33,551 --> 00:16:35,585
So how come you didn't call
Jerry about all this?
433
00:16:35,618 --> 00:16:38,085
Jerry. I can't talk
to Jerry anymore.
434
00:16:38,118 --> 00:16:41,418
Ever since he moved into
that apartment, he's too much...
435
00:16:41,451 --> 00:16:42,418
like you.
436
00:16:42,451 --> 00:16:43,418
Mm.
437
00:16:43,451 --> 00:16:45,518
That's a shame.
438
00:16:45,551 --> 00:16:47,751
[♪]
439
00:16:47,785 --> 00:16:50,718
Seth, you're the manager.
Can't you turn off that sign?
440
00:16:50,751 --> 00:16:54,451
Jerry, I lied.
I'm just an assistant manager.
441
00:16:55,385 --> 00:16:56,951
Number 67,
442
00:16:56,985 --> 00:16:58,951
family feast.
443
00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:00,880
Number 67. Right here.
Right here.
444
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,351
Number 67. Right here.
Right here.
445
00:17:02,385 --> 00:17:03,718
Hello, Newman.
446
00:17:03,751 --> 00:17:05,251
Hello, Jerry.
447
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:07,551
And don't forget
your steamed broccoli.
448
00:17:07,585 --> 00:17:09,451
Hold it.
449
00:17:09,485 --> 00:17:10,685
Broccoli?
450
00:17:10,718 --> 00:17:12,285
Newman, you wouldn't
eat broccoli
451
00:17:12,318 --> 00:17:15,218
if it was deep-fried
in chocolate sauce.
452
00:17:16,651 --> 00:17:18,851
I love...broccoli.
453
00:17:18,885 --> 00:17:21,285
It's...good for you.
454
00:17:21,318 --> 00:17:22,318
Really?
455
00:17:23,651 --> 00:17:25,718
Then maybe
you'd like to have a piece.
456
00:17:27,051 --> 00:17:28,885
Gladly.
457
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:34,718
[RETCHES]
458
00:17:34,751 --> 00:17:37,385
Vile weed!
459
00:17:37,418 --> 00:17:39,185
It's for Kramer, isn't it?
I knew it.
460
00:17:39,218 --> 00:17:41,751
The greasy doorknob.
The constant licking
of the fingers.
461
00:17:41,785 --> 00:17:43,385
He's hooked on the chicken,
isn't he?
462
00:17:43,418 --> 00:17:45,018
Yes! Yes, now, please,
463
00:17:45,051 --> 00:17:46,918
someone, honey mustard.
464
00:17:50,918 --> 00:17:52,585
[COUGHS]
465
00:17:54,718 --> 00:17:55,918
[COUGHS]
466
00:17:55,951 --> 00:17:57,451
[♪]
467
00:18:00,151 --> 00:18:00,880
Newman, what took you--
Hey, buddy.
468
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,351
Newman, what took you--
Hey, buddy.
469
00:18:03,385 --> 00:18:04,585
That was good.
470
00:18:04,618 --> 00:18:06,585
Expecting Newman?
That's funny,
471
00:18:06,618 --> 00:18:08,018
because I just
happened upon him
472
00:18:08,051 --> 00:18:09,551
down at the
Kenny Rogers Roasters.
473
00:18:09,585 --> 00:18:10,885
[SCOFFS]
Oh, Kenny Rogers.
474
00:18:10,918 --> 00:18:12,951
Oh, boy, I hate that place.
475
00:18:12,985 --> 00:18:14,551
He was buying
quite a load of chicken,
476
00:18:14,585 --> 00:18:16,085
almost enough for two people.
Oh.
477
00:18:16,118 --> 00:18:17,451
As long as one of them's
not him.
478
00:18:17,485 --> 00:18:18,751
[LAUGHS]
Yeah.
479
00:18:18,785 --> 00:18:21,551
Oh, hey, you know,
Elaine, she stopped by.
480
00:18:21,585 --> 00:18:24,285
Yeah, dropped off
that Bob Sacamano hat.
481
00:18:24,318 --> 00:18:27,418
Yeah, oh, she's upset with him.
Yes, sirree.
482
00:18:27,451 --> 00:18:30,118
Yeah, well,
thanks for stoppin' by.
483
00:18:30,151 --> 00:18:30,880
I sure do miss my apartment.
484
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:32,785
I sure do miss my apartment.
485
00:18:32,818 --> 00:18:35,018
Maybe I'll switch back.
486
00:18:35,051 --> 00:18:36,751
Oh, you don't wanna
think about that.
487
00:18:36,785 --> 00:18:38,751
No, sir.
Otherwise, I'd have no choice
488
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:41,385
but to put that banner back up
and, uh, yeah,
489
00:18:41,418 --> 00:18:43,451
run that Rogers
right out of town.
490
00:18:43,485 --> 00:18:45,685
I don't think you will.
As a matter of fact,
491
00:18:45,718 --> 00:18:47,885
I'll save you the trouble.
I'll do it myself.
492
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,618
Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
Put the banner up.
493
00:18:49,651 --> 00:18:51,085
Doesn't matter to me.
All right.
494
00:18:51,118 --> 00:18:53,285
No, Jerry.
I need that chicken!
495
00:18:53,318 --> 00:18:54,585
I gotta have that ch--
496
00:18:54,618 --> 00:18:56,185
Now, you leave
those roasters alone!
497
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:59,251
Kenny never hurt anybody!
498
00:18:59,285 --> 00:19:00,351
You got a little problem.
499
00:19:00,385 --> 00:19:00,880
Oh, I got a big problem, Jerry!
500
00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:02,318
Oh, I got a big problem, Jerry!
501
00:19:03,151 --> 00:19:05,251
[♪]
502
00:19:14,885 --> 00:19:16,918
Here. Kneel here.
503
00:19:16,951 --> 00:19:18,351
What?
Kneel.
504
00:19:18,385 --> 00:19:19,885
Kneel? Okay.
505
00:19:21,618 --> 00:19:23,085
[WATER SPLASHING]
506
00:19:23,118 --> 00:19:24,785
Elaine.
507
00:19:28,618 --> 00:19:30,118
Mr. Peterman.
508
00:19:31,751 --> 00:19:33,951
[SPEAKING IN FAKE FOREIGN
DIALECT]
509
00:19:37,785 --> 00:19:39,718
You speak Burmese?
510
00:19:39,751 --> 00:19:42,551
No, Elaine, that was gibberish.
511
00:19:42,585 --> 00:19:44,551
Ah.
512
00:19:44,585 --> 00:19:47,885
So did you have any
trouble finding the place?
513
00:19:47,918 --> 00:19:50,551
No, you're the only...
514
00:19:50,585 --> 00:19:53,385
white-poet-warlord
in the neighborhood.
515
00:19:53,418 --> 00:19:55,218
[CHUCKLES]
516
00:19:56,085 --> 00:19:57,885
Are you an assassin?
517
00:19:57,918 --> 00:20:00,880
I work for your mail-order
catalog.
518
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:00,885
I work for your mail-order
catalog.
519
00:20:00,918 --> 00:20:04,018
You're an errand girl
sent by grocery clerks
520
00:20:04,051 --> 00:20:06,351
to collect a bill.
521
00:20:06,385 --> 00:20:08,185
Well, actually, um,
522
00:20:08,218 --> 00:20:10,751
I do have a bill here.
523
00:20:10,785 --> 00:20:14,918
If you could just sign
this expense form,
524
00:20:14,951 --> 00:20:17,851
I think I could still make
the last fan boat out of here.
525
00:20:17,885 --> 00:20:19,718
I'd be happy to, Elaine.
526
00:20:19,751 --> 00:20:22,285
Ah. Here.
527
00:20:23,485 --> 00:20:26,118
But I will have to see
this hat.
528
00:20:28,051 --> 00:20:29,785
Right.
529
00:20:29,818 --> 00:20:30,880
[♪]
530
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:31,385
[♪]
531
00:20:37,885 --> 00:20:39,685
So how do you want to do this?
532
00:20:39,718 --> 00:20:42,918
All right, George,
I'll be honest.
533
00:20:42,951 --> 00:20:45,851
The first time we went out,
I found you very irritating.
534
00:20:45,885 --> 00:20:48,118
But after seeing you
a couple of times,
535
00:20:48,151 --> 00:20:51,385
you sort of got stuck
in my head.
536
00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:53,085
♪ Costanza ♪
537
00:20:53,118 --> 00:20:54,185
[GIGGLES]
538
00:20:54,218 --> 00:20:57,051
So you--
You really don't have my hat?
539
00:20:57,085 --> 00:20:58,218
What?
540
00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:04,585
Uh, let's go do somethin'.
541
00:21:04,618 --> 00:21:05,718
What's in the bag?
542
00:21:05,751 --> 00:21:07,685
Oh, That's--
That's a sandwich.
543
00:21:07,718 --> 00:21:09,351
[ALARM RINGING]
544
00:21:09,385 --> 00:21:11,751
Uh...
545
00:21:11,785 --> 00:21:13,285
Damn salami.
546
00:21:15,251 --> 00:21:16,351
My clock.
547
00:21:16,385 --> 00:21:17,351
[ALARM STOPS]
548
00:21:17,385 --> 00:21:19,385
You stole it?
549
00:21:19,418 --> 00:21:20,718
That damn delicatessen.
550
00:21:20,751 --> 00:21:22,818
That is the last time
they screw up one of my orders.
551
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:26,485
[THUNDER CRASHES]
552
00:21:28,985 --> 00:21:30,880
[SIGHS]
Hey, Seth.
553
00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:30,885
[SIGHS]
Hey, Seth.
554
00:21:30,918 --> 00:21:33,418
Man, it is coming down
hard out there.
555
00:21:36,318 --> 00:21:38,151
Oh, gross.
556
00:21:39,785 --> 00:21:41,851
That's not gonna be
good for business.
557
00:21:41,885 --> 00:21:44,551
That's not gonna be
good for anybody.
558
00:21:44,585 --> 00:21:45,951
[♪]
559
00:21:45,985 --> 00:21:47,651
[SIGN BUZZING]
560
00:21:50,451 --> 00:21:52,751
[SIGN CLICKS, POWERS DOWN]
561
00:21:53,951 --> 00:21:55,485
Kenny?
562
00:21:58,618 --> 00:21:59,685
Kenny?
563
00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:00,880
[♪]
564
00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:01,551
[♪]
565
00:22:08,618 --> 00:22:09,918
[♪]
566
00:22:09,951 --> 00:22:12,051
Kenny.
567
00:22:12,085 --> 00:22:13,918
Kenny.
568
00:22:17,451 --> 00:22:19,218
Kenny.
569
00:22:19,251 --> 00:22:21,418
JERRY:
Home at last.
570
00:22:21,451 --> 00:22:23,385
Ah.
571
00:22:25,751 --> 00:22:27,618
[DOOR CREAKS]
572
00:22:27,651 --> 00:22:29,118
Is someone there?
573
00:22:29,151 --> 00:22:31,085
[FEET PATTERING]
574
00:22:32,251 --> 00:22:35,051
[WHISPERS]
Mr. Marbles.
575
00:22:35,085 --> 00:22:37,385
This is the urban sombrero.
576
00:22:37,418 --> 00:22:37,993
I put it
on the last catalog cover.
577
00:22:37,993 --> 00:22:39,851
I put it
on the last catalog cover.
578
00:22:39,885 --> 00:22:40,918
[WATER DRIPPING]
579
00:22:45,818 --> 00:22:47,785
[WHISPERS]
The horror.
580
00:22:48,918 --> 00:22:50,951
The horror.
39039
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