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1
00:00:01,666 --> 00:00:03,566
[♪]
2
00:00:05,233 --> 00:00:08,133
You know, I can now bite
my fingernails so evenly
3
00:00:08,166 --> 00:00:10,333
that I don't even need
to use a clipper anymore.
4
00:00:10,366 --> 00:00:11,900
But it's a pleasure
to use clippers.
5
00:00:11,933 --> 00:00:13,800
Why gnaw away
like a mental patient
6
00:00:13,833 --> 00:00:15,500
when we have
this elegant device?
7
00:00:18,566 --> 00:00:20,533
What if you're in prison?
8
00:00:20,566 --> 00:00:21,900
They don't give you clippers?
9
00:00:21,933 --> 00:00:23,466
No, it's like a weapon.
10
00:00:23,500 --> 00:00:25,900
You know what's really a weapon?
That big toenail.
11
00:00:25,933 --> 00:00:27,200
You let that grow
for a month,
12
00:00:27,233 --> 00:00:29,533
take it in the shower,
it's like a shiv.
13
00:00:31,366 --> 00:00:32,833
I love prison.
14
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,233
It is fascinating.
15
00:00:35,266 --> 00:00:37,633
Yeah...maybe someday.
16
00:00:37,666 --> 00:00:39,566
[♪]
17
00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,366
[♪]
18
00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:47,366
You want me to find
a poem about Susan?
19
00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:49,966
May she rest in peace.
20
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,566
Well, we think
it would be a nice touch
21
00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:54,233
for the foundation literature.
22
00:00:54,266 --> 00:00:56,166
You have a favorite poet,
George?
23
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,833
I like, uh, Flavman.
24
00:01:02,066 --> 00:01:03,833
Pardon?
25
00:01:03,866 --> 00:01:05,966
Flavman.
26
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:09,300
Well, you should choose the poem
since you knew Susan best
27
00:01:09,333 --> 00:01:10,874
at the time
of her unfortunate--
28
00:01:10,874 --> 00:01:11,566
at the time
of her unfortunate--
29
00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:13,300
Ahem. --accident.
30
00:01:13,333 --> 00:01:16,066
[♪]
31
00:01:17,366 --> 00:01:18,633
JERRY:
He cleared his throat?
32
00:01:18,666 --> 00:01:20,466
Yes.
So?
33
00:01:20,500 --> 00:01:24,700
He did it right as he said,
"Her unfortunate accident."
34
00:01:24,733 --> 00:01:27,166
Not getting it.
Jerry, a throat clear
35
00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,000
is a non-verbal
implication of doubt.
36
00:01:29,033 --> 00:01:30,633
He thinks I killed Susan.
37
00:01:30,666 --> 00:01:32,166
Oh, help me, Rhonda.
38
00:01:35,033 --> 00:01:36,000
What time is it?
39
00:01:36,033 --> 00:01:37,300
One-fifteen.
40
00:01:37,333 --> 00:01:38,233
Right now?
41
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:40,874
I gotta go meet Pam.
42
00:01:40,874 --> 00:01:41,633
I gotta go meet Pam.
43
00:01:41,666 --> 00:01:43,633
Oh, the bookstore girl.
How's that going?
44
00:01:43,666 --> 00:01:44,633
Okay.
45
00:01:44,666 --> 00:01:46,466
I'm just not gaga over her.
46
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:48,133
For once, I'd like to be gaga.
47
00:01:48,166 --> 00:01:49,500
Where's Elaine?
48
00:01:49,533 --> 00:01:51,366
She's having Carol,
Gail and Lisa over.
49
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:53,000
You know,
they all have kids now.
50
00:01:53,033 --> 00:01:55,033
What's with all
these people having babies?
51
00:01:55,066 --> 00:01:57,633
Perpetuation of the species.
Yeah, right.
52
00:01:57,666 --> 00:01:59,300
By the way,
just for the record--
53
00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:00,666
No, I did not!
54
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:01,700
All right.
55
00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:04,466
CAROL:
But because it comes out
56
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:07,433
of your baby,
it smells good.
57
00:02:08,566 --> 00:02:10,874
Well, that's--
That's sweet.
58
00:02:10,874 --> 00:02:11,500
Well, that's--
That's sweet.
59
00:02:11,533 --> 00:02:14,833
Being a mother has made me
feel so beautiful.
60
00:02:14,866 --> 00:02:19,200
Elaine,
ya gotta have a baby.
61
00:02:20,166 --> 00:02:21,800
Oh, hey, you know,
62
00:02:21,833 --> 00:02:23,400
I had a piece
of whitefish
63
00:02:23,433 --> 00:02:26,233
over at Barney Greengrass
the other day, and I--
64
00:02:26,266 --> 00:02:30,133
Elaine, move to Long Island
and have a baby already.
65
00:02:30,166 --> 00:02:33,366
I really like the city.
The city's a toilet.
66
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:35,666
When's the last time
you saw my little Adam?
67
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,633
Uh, it was in the Hamptons.
68
00:02:37,666 --> 00:02:40,300
Ah, I have pictures.
Oh, no, no, that's okay. It's--
69
00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:40,874
Look at him,
just look at him.
70
00:02:40,874 --> 00:02:42,366
Look at him,
just look at him.
71
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:45,466
[♪]
72
00:02:45,500 --> 00:02:46,666
So Elaine was telling me
73
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:48,866
about this piece of whitefish
she had the other day.
74
00:02:48,900 --> 00:02:51,133
Do you really think I'm wrong
about this Wyck guy?
75
00:02:51,166 --> 00:02:52,966
You know, if you really
wanna test him out,
76
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,800
why don't you try
the Jerry Lewis trick?
77
00:02:54,833 --> 00:02:55,833
Jerry Lewis?
78
00:02:55,866 --> 00:02:57,866
I heard when Jerry Lewis
left a meeting
79
00:02:57,900 --> 00:03:00,500
he'd purposely leave a briefcase
with a tape recorder in it.
80
00:03:00,533 --> 00:03:02,566
Then after five minutes,
he'd come back for it,
81
00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,300
listen to what everyone
said about him.
82
00:03:04,333 --> 00:03:06,033
That's pretty paranoid.
Yes, it is.
83
00:03:06,066 --> 00:03:07,466
I like it!
I thought you might.
84
00:03:07,500 --> 00:03:10,133
[♪]
85
00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:10,874
Oh. Hi.
86
00:03:10,874 --> 00:03:11,500
Oh. Hi.
87
00:03:11,533 --> 00:03:12,833
I'm Pam.
88
00:03:12,866 --> 00:03:14,166
You must be Kramer.
89
00:03:15,766 --> 00:03:17,966
Jerry has, uh, told me
a lot about you.
90
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,233
[MOANS]
91
00:03:20,266 --> 00:03:22,666
Well, uh, I'm supposed
to meet Jerry.
92
00:03:22,700 --> 00:03:23,900
It's my day off.
93
00:03:23,933 --> 00:03:25,733
I work in a bookstore.
94
00:03:25,766 --> 00:03:28,000
[MOUTHS]
Books.
95
00:03:29,533 --> 00:03:31,100
Oh! Careful!
96
00:03:33,733 --> 00:03:35,633
Hi. Sorry I'm late.
Hi.
97
00:03:35,666 --> 00:03:36,966
That's okay.
Kramer let me in.
98
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,733
If we rush,
we can still make the movie.
99
00:03:38,766 --> 00:03:40,100
It was really nice meeting you.
100
00:03:44,533 --> 00:03:45,833
[SQUEALS]
101
00:03:48,533 --> 00:03:49,900
KRAMER:
I'm in trouble, buddy.
102
00:03:49,933 --> 00:03:51,400
I just met a woman.
103
00:03:51,433 --> 00:03:53,166
Go on.
Well...
104
00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:56,133
she's Jerry's girlfriend.
105
00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:57,466
Ah, yes,
106
00:03:57,500 --> 00:03:58,666
forbidden love.
107
00:03:58,700 --> 00:04:00,633
She works in a bookshop.
108
00:04:00,666 --> 00:04:01,966
Her name is Pam.
109
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,466
Pam.
110
00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:05,833
I don't know the woman,
but she sounds quite fetching.
111
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,500
I can't even speak
in front of her.
112
00:04:09,533 --> 00:04:10,800
Jerry!
113
00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:10,874
What could she possibly see
in Jerry?
114
00:04:10,874 --> 00:04:13,133
What could she possibly see
in Jerry?
115
00:04:13,166 --> 00:04:14,066
Oh!
116
00:04:15,766 --> 00:04:17,633
She has delicate beauty.
117
00:04:17,666 --> 00:04:18,966
Jerry wouldn't know delicate
118
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,700
if it bludgeoned him
over the head.
119
00:04:20,733 --> 00:04:23,700
And yet, he's my friend.
120
00:04:23,733 --> 00:04:25,966
And therein lies
the tragedy.
121
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:29,166
For I believe,
sadly for you,
122
00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:32,566
that there is but one woman
meant for each of us.
123
00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:34,300
One perfect angel
124
00:04:34,333 --> 00:04:36,133
for whom we are put
on this earth.
125
00:04:36,166 --> 00:04:37,700
Oh, that's beautiful, Newman.
126
00:04:37,733 --> 00:04:39,800
One winsome tulip
127
00:04:39,833 --> 00:04:40,874
we ceaselessly yearn for
128
00:04:40,874 --> 00:04:41,733
we ceaselessly yearn for
129
00:04:41,766 --> 00:04:44,900
throughout our dreary
workaday lives,
130
00:04:44,933 --> 00:04:49,066
and you, my friend,
have found your angel.
131
00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:50,833
I can tell.
132
00:04:50,866 --> 00:04:52,900
For my heart has
also been captured
133
00:04:52,933 --> 00:04:54,800
by a breathless beauty
134
00:04:54,833 --> 00:04:57,500
whom I fear
I will never possess.
135
00:04:57,533 --> 00:04:59,566
I thought we were talking
about me.
136
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,633
Oh, right.
137
00:05:01,666 --> 00:05:03,700
Kramer, you have
to confront Jerry.
138
00:05:03,733 --> 00:05:05,466
Confront Jerry?
I can't.
139
00:05:05,500 --> 00:05:06,566
You must.
I won't.
140
00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:07,833
You will!
141
00:05:07,866 --> 00:05:10,874
[AS CAROL]
"Elaine, you gotta have a baby."
142
00:05:10,874 --> 00:05:11,333
[AS CAROL]
"Elaine, you gotta have a baby."
143
00:05:11,366 --> 00:05:12,800
Ehh.
144
00:05:12,833 --> 00:05:14,500
Where are
the poetry magazines?
145
00:05:14,533 --> 00:05:16,300
[NORMAL VOICE]
The New Yorker has poetry.
146
00:05:16,333 --> 00:05:18,700
Yes, The New Yorker.
147
00:05:18,733 --> 00:05:20,300
Why do you invite
these women over
148
00:05:20,333 --> 00:05:21,633
if they annoy you
so much?
149
00:05:21,666 --> 00:05:23,033
Well, they're my friends,
150
00:05:23,066 --> 00:05:26,466
but they act as if having a baby
takes some kind of talent.
151
00:05:26,500 --> 00:05:28,333
Come on.
You wanna have a baby.
152
00:05:28,366 --> 00:05:30,466
Why? Because I can?
153
00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:31,833
It's the life force.
154
00:05:31,866 --> 00:05:33,800
I saw a show
on the mollusk last night.
155
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:36,800
Elaine, the mollusk travels
from Alaska to Chile
156
00:05:36,833 --> 00:05:38,366
just for a shot
at another mollusk.
157
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:39,800
You think
you're any better?
158
00:05:39,833 --> 00:05:40,874
Yes, I think I am better
than the mollusk.
159
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:43,200
Yes, I think I am better
than the mollusk.
160
00:05:43,233 --> 00:05:44,900
Excuse me,
I couldn't help overhearing
161
00:05:44,933 --> 00:05:46,866
what you were saying.
Oh, I'm sorry--
162
00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:48,700
No, no.
I think I agree with you.
163
00:05:48,733 --> 00:05:51,200
I mean, all this talk
about having babies.
164
00:05:51,233 --> 00:05:53,033
Yeah, like you must procreate.
165
00:05:53,066 --> 00:05:54,866
Besides, anyone can do it.
166
00:05:54,900 --> 00:05:56,066
Oh, it's been done
to death.
167
00:05:56,100 --> 00:05:58,066
[♪]
168
00:05:59,433 --> 00:06:01,966
GEORGE:
I, uh, should have a poem
very soon now.
169
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,333
Are you okay, George?
[CLATTERING]
170
00:06:04,366 --> 00:06:05,733
No, no.
171
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:07,366
Not really.
172
00:06:09,433 --> 00:06:10,874
Ever since Susan passed on
I have good days and bad.
173
00:06:10,874 --> 00:06:15,366
Ever since Susan passed on
I have good days and bad.
174
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:19,666
Some days I--
I'm haunted by one word:
175
00:06:19,700 --> 00:06:21,466
why?
176
00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:24,133
Why Susan?
177
00:06:24,166 --> 00:06:28,366
Why wasn't it me
licking those invitations?
178
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,566
Why am I still here?
179
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,100
But I gotta run, uh...
180
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,366
[♪]
181
00:06:41,766 --> 00:06:43,033
Now, the stock options
182
00:06:43,066 --> 00:06:45,000
for this year look, uh, quite--
183
00:06:52,900 --> 00:06:54,566
Briefcase.
184
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:56,033
[MOUTHING WORDS]
185
00:06:56,066 --> 00:06:57,866
[♪]
186
00:06:57,900 --> 00:07:00,733
So, Kevin,
if I don't want children,
187
00:07:00,766 --> 00:07:03,166
does that make me
a bad humanitarian?
188
00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:04,166
Not at all.
189
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,833
I mean,
when you get to know me,
190
00:07:05,866 --> 00:07:07,966
you'll see that I'm
a pretty good humanitarian.
191
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,874
You are doing a wonderful job,
by the way.
192
00:07:10,874 --> 00:07:10,966
You are doing a wonderful job,
by the way.
193
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,133
WAITRESS:
Thanks a lot.
194
00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:14,066
Right? Am I right?
Yeah.
195
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,733
Kramer.
196
00:07:15,766 --> 00:07:18,400
Kramer, come here,
look at my new friend Kevin.
197
00:07:20,666 --> 00:07:22,400
Oh, you got a little, uh--
198
00:07:22,433 --> 00:07:24,300
You got--
Wha--? Oh, yeah.
199
00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:27,233
I just had, uh,
two double-fudge sundaes.
200
00:07:27,266 --> 00:07:29,066
Oh, are you all right?
201
00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:30,333
Yeah, I'll be okay.
202
00:07:31,833 --> 00:07:35,500
You know, Jerry has one of those
every time he bombs on stage.
203
00:07:35,533 --> 00:07:37,900
Well, I'm sure he'll be sharing
his next one with Pam.
204
00:07:37,933 --> 00:07:39,500
Oh, no, that won't last.
205
00:07:39,533 --> 00:07:40,500
What do you mean?
206
00:07:40,533 --> 00:07:40,874
He's not gaga.
207
00:07:40,874 --> 00:07:41,566
He's not gaga.
208
00:07:43,500 --> 00:07:44,666
[GIBBERS]
209
00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:46,433
[♪]
210
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,300
Let me tell you something.
That Jerry Lewis?
211
00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:53,066
You wonder how these people
get to the top?
212
00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:55,566
It's ideas like this.
Brilliant! Ha, ha.
213
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,300
Look at this.
What the hell happened?
214
00:07:58,333 --> 00:07:59,900
The whole side
is damaged here.
215
00:08:01,866 --> 00:08:03,633
And the lock is broken.
216
00:08:03,666 --> 00:08:05,000
How long did you
leave it there?
217
00:08:05,033 --> 00:08:06,033
Five minutes.
218
00:08:06,066 --> 00:08:07,533
What the hell happened here?
219
00:08:07,566 --> 00:08:10,200
Play the tape.
Maybe we'll get a clue.
220
00:08:10,233 --> 00:08:10,874
I have to rewind it first.
221
00:08:10,874 --> 00:08:12,366
I have to rewind it first.
222
00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:13,600
[CLICKS]
223
00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:32,866
All right. All right.
224
00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:35,533
MAN [ON TAPE]:
Did anyone noticeGeorge's fingernails?
225
00:08:35,566 --> 00:08:37,566
WOMAN:
Oh, my, yes.
226
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:40,200
They look like they wereeaten away by weevils.
227
00:08:40,233 --> 00:08:40,874
WYCK:
It's getting warm in here.Open the window.
228
00:08:40,874 --> 00:08:42,666
WYCK:
It's getting warm in here.Open the window.
229
00:08:44,100 --> 00:08:45,866
Hey, what are you doing?
230
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:47,700
WOMAN:
Dear God!
231
00:08:47,733 --> 00:08:49,566
[LOUD THUD, RECORDING ENDS]
232
00:08:51,600 --> 00:08:53,000
Is that it?
233
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,000
It stopped dead.
234
00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:56,200
What do you make of it?
235
00:08:56,233 --> 00:08:57,900
I don't know.
236
00:08:59,366 --> 00:09:00,333
Jerry,
237
00:09:00,366 --> 00:09:02,033
uh, can we talk?
238
00:09:02,066 --> 00:09:03,466
Kind of busy here.
239
00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:05,200
I'd like to talk to Jerry
in private.
240
00:09:05,233 --> 00:09:06,833
Why can't I stay?
241
00:09:06,866 --> 00:09:08,633
Because it doesn't concern you.
242
00:09:08,666 --> 00:09:10,874
Well, if it doesn't concern me,
then I can stay.
243
00:09:10,874 --> 00:09:11,666
Well, if it doesn't concern me,
then I can stay.
244
00:09:21,066 --> 00:09:22,200
So, what's on your mind?
245
00:09:22,233 --> 00:09:23,366
It's Pam.
246
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:24,533
Pam? What about Pam?
247
00:09:24,566 --> 00:09:25,800
I love her, Jerry.
248
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:27,033
You what?
249
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:28,333
I love her.
250
00:09:28,366 --> 00:09:29,366
Is that right?
251
00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,800
Oh, she's-- She's real.
252
00:09:31,833 --> 00:09:35,400
She can bring home the bacon
and fry it in the pan.
253
00:09:35,433 --> 00:09:36,633
What does that mean?
254
00:09:36,666 --> 00:09:39,300
Oh, and that voice.
255
00:09:39,333 --> 00:09:40,874
What about her name?
Pam?
256
00:09:40,874 --> 00:09:41,200
What about her name?
Pam?
257
00:09:41,233 --> 00:09:42,900
Oh, it's a beautiful name.
258
00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:44,666
Pam.
259
00:09:45,833 --> 00:09:46,900
Pam?
260
00:09:48,100 --> 00:09:50,200
Pam!
261
00:09:50,233 --> 00:09:51,833
She's got really nice hair.
262
00:09:51,866 --> 00:09:53,033
Oh, it's incredible.
263
00:09:53,066 --> 00:09:55,200
Although, I might replace
her tortoise clip
264
00:09:55,233 --> 00:09:56,800
with one of those
velvet scrunchies.
265
00:09:56,833 --> 00:09:58,033
I love those.
266
00:09:58,066 --> 00:09:59,900
You've got really
specific tastes.
267
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:01,500
Oh, I know what I want, Jerry.
268
00:10:01,533 --> 00:10:03,300
She's got nice calves.
269
00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:07,066
Oh, she's a dreamboat,
but you don't like her.
270
00:10:07,100 --> 00:10:09,300
Maybe I could. You're making
some good points.
271
00:10:09,333 --> 00:10:10,533
No, you can't, Jerry.
272
00:10:10,566 --> 00:10:10,874
But I might.
273
00:10:10,874 --> 00:10:11,533
But I might.
274
00:10:11,566 --> 00:10:13,033
Oh, no, you don't.
Why not?
275
00:10:13,066 --> 00:10:14,800
The voice, the calves,
the bacon.
276
00:10:14,833 --> 00:10:17,966
What?
I think I can.
I even like the name. Pam.
277
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,333
Huh? Huh?
Pam. Pam.
278
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,100
[♪]
279
00:10:29,033 --> 00:10:31,466
[♪]
280
00:10:32,182 --> 00:10:33,982
So now he wants her
more than ever.
281
00:10:34,015 --> 00:10:35,415
Blast!
282
00:10:36,515 --> 00:10:37,982
What am I gonna do, huh?
283
00:10:38,015 --> 00:10:39,982
Don't despair, my friend.
284
00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:41,615
Ow!
[GRUNTS]
285
00:10:43,048 --> 00:10:45,648
I won't allow your love
to go unrequited,
286
00:10:45,682 --> 00:10:47,382
not like mine.
287
00:10:47,415 --> 00:10:48,982
What, again with you?
288
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:50,382
Sorry.
289
00:10:50,415 --> 00:10:53,415
But love is a spice
with many tastes.
290
00:10:53,448 --> 00:10:57,515
A dizzying array
of textures and moments.
291
00:10:58,882 --> 00:11:01,815
If only I could say things
like that around her.
292
00:11:01,848 --> 00:11:04,148
Yes.
293
00:11:04,182 --> 00:11:05,382
[♪]
294
00:11:05,415 --> 00:11:07,482
ELAINE:
Well, I hear
three distinct sounds.
295
00:11:07,515 --> 00:11:09,482
A low rumple,
296
00:11:09,515 --> 00:11:12,215
followed by
a metallic squink--
297
00:11:12,248 --> 00:11:14,215
Yes, yes, I heard the squink.
298
00:11:14,248 --> 00:11:18,315
Followed by
a mysterious...galonk.
299
00:11:18,348 --> 00:11:21,148
It's a real baffler,
isn't it?
300
00:11:21,182 --> 00:11:23,748
Well, one question
does come to mind.
301
00:11:25,348 --> 00:11:26,648
Have you considered
302
00:11:26,682 --> 00:11:28,044
just asking 'em what happened
to the briefcase?
303
00:11:28,044 --> 00:11:31,048
just asking 'em what happened
to the briefcase?
304
00:11:31,082 --> 00:11:33,182
They would never tell me,
Elaine.
305
00:11:33,215 --> 00:11:34,648
First of all,
they probably think
306
00:11:34,682 --> 00:11:36,248
that I killed Susan.
307
00:11:36,282 --> 00:11:38,115
Besides, I don't even think
they like me.
308
00:11:39,248 --> 00:11:41,815
That Pam.
I am gaga over her.
309
00:11:41,848 --> 00:11:43,382
Gaga? When did that happen?
310
00:11:43,415 --> 00:11:45,882
Yesterday, 6-ish.
311
00:11:45,915 --> 00:11:47,315
Huh.
312
00:11:47,348 --> 00:11:50,382
Well, maybe we should double.
I'm pretty gaga myself.
313
00:11:50,415 --> 00:11:52,215
You just met
the guy yesterday.
314
00:11:52,248 --> 00:11:53,982
Yeah, but we have
a common goal.
315
00:11:54,015 --> 00:11:57,282
A barren, sterile existence
that ends when you die?
316
00:11:58,548 --> 00:12:00,848
[GIGGLING]
Yeah.
317
00:12:00,882 --> 00:12:03,248
You really believe this guy
doesn't want to have kids?
318
00:12:03,282 --> 00:12:04,548
Of course.
JERRY: Elaine,
319
00:12:04,582 --> 00:12:06,082
a guy will say anything
to a woman.
320
00:12:06,115 --> 00:12:08,082
Oh, please,
he wouldn't say that.
321
00:12:08,115 --> 00:12:11,415
Elaine, I once told a woman
that I coined the phrase:
322
00:12:11,448 --> 00:12:12,882
"Pardon my French."
323
00:12:14,748 --> 00:12:16,882
I once told a woman
I don't eat cake
324
00:12:16,915 --> 00:12:19,248
because it goes right
to my thighs.
325
00:12:20,848 --> 00:12:22,982
Once told a woman
I enjoy spending time
326
00:12:23,015 --> 00:12:24,415
with my family.
327
00:12:24,448 --> 00:12:26,348
[♪]
328
00:12:27,448 --> 00:12:28,044
NEWMAN:
With your looks and my words
329
00:12:28,044 --> 00:12:29,915
NEWMAN:
With your looks and my words
330
00:12:29,948 --> 00:12:31,515
we'll have built
the perfect beast.
331
00:12:31,548 --> 00:12:33,015
All right.
332
00:12:41,382 --> 00:12:43,582
Oh, hi, Kramer.
333
00:12:43,615 --> 00:12:44,915
[SOFTLY]
Hi, how are you?
334
00:12:44,948 --> 00:12:46,248
Hi, how are you?
335
00:12:47,615 --> 00:12:48,582
I'm great.
336
00:12:48,615 --> 00:12:49,982
I too am well.
337
00:12:50,015 --> 00:12:51,215
I too am well.
338
00:12:52,948 --> 00:12:54,815
Do I smell Pantene?
339
00:12:54,848 --> 00:12:56,582
Do I smell?
340
00:12:56,615 --> 00:12:58,044
Pantene!
Uh, Pantene?
341
00:12:58,044 --> 00:12:58,215
Pantene!
Uh, Pantene?
342
00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:00,048
PAM:
Oh!
343
00:13:00,082 --> 00:13:01,248
My shampoo.
344
00:13:01,282 --> 00:13:03,082
Yeah, yeah, you know,
it is Pantene.
345
00:13:03,115 --> 00:13:05,715
I got a free sample of it
in with my junk mail.
346
00:13:05,748 --> 00:13:07,515
Well, there really is
no junk mail.
347
00:13:07,548 --> 00:13:09,648
Everybody wants a check
or a birthday card, but--
348
00:13:09,682 --> 00:13:11,548
It requires just
as much manpower to deliver
349
00:13:11,582 --> 00:13:13,582
as their precious cards--
Newman.
350
00:13:13,615 --> 00:13:15,515
[GRUNTS]
351
00:13:15,548 --> 00:13:19,548
What?
Uh, human. Human.
352
00:13:19,582 --> 00:13:24,082
It's human to be moved
by a fragrance.
353
00:13:24,115 --> 00:13:25,548
That's so true.
354
00:13:25,582 --> 00:13:28,044
Her bouquet cleavedhis hardened--
355
00:13:28,044 --> 00:13:28,982
Her bouquet cleavedhis hardened--
356
00:13:29,015 --> 00:13:31,248
Shell.
Shell
357
00:13:31,282 --> 00:13:34,748
And fondled his muscled heart
358
00:13:34,782 --> 00:13:38,548
He imbibed her glistening spell
359
00:13:38,582 --> 00:13:42,715
Just before the other shoe fell
360
00:13:42,748 --> 00:13:45,382
Kramer, that is so lovely.
361
00:13:45,415 --> 00:13:49,682
It's by a-- An unknown
20th century poet.
362
00:13:49,715 --> 00:13:50,982
Oh, what's him name?
363
00:13:51,015 --> 00:13:52,882
Newman.
364
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:54,748
[♪]
365
00:13:55,415 --> 00:13:58,044
KEVIN:
Elaine, you changed my life.
366
00:13:58,044 --> 00:13:58,048
KEVIN:
Elaine, you changed my life.
367
00:13:58,082 --> 00:13:59,582
Oh, Kevin,
368
00:13:59,615 --> 00:14:02,848
you can go on and on
about how you don't want kids,
369
00:14:02,882 --> 00:14:05,382
and it-- It sounds--
It sounds really nice,
370
00:14:05,415 --> 00:14:09,982
but the truth is, I don't know
if you mean it or not.
371
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,082
I got a vasectomy this morning.
372
00:14:13,748 --> 00:14:16,348
Although,
I have a hunch you mean it.
373
00:14:16,382 --> 00:14:17,615
[♪]
374
00:14:19,182 --> 00:14:20,682
JERRY:
I just came by to tell you
375
00:14:20,715 --> 00:14:24,648
I'm really, really happy
about this relationship.
376
00:14:24,682 --> 00:14:25,982
Really happy.
377
00:14:26,015 --> 00:14:27,748
Oh, well, that's--
378
00:14:27,782 --> 00:14:28,044
[CLEARS THROAT]
379
00:14:28,044 --> 00:14:29,148
[CLEARS THROAT]
380
00:14:29,182 --> 00:14:30,215
Nice.
381
00:14:34,282 --> 00:14:36,048
JERRY:
A velvet scrunchie.
382
00:14:38,548 --> 00:14:40,015
Kramer.
383
00:14:40,048 --> 00:14:43,215
[♪]
384
00:14:46,182 --> 00:14:47,748
[FLATLY]
Hello, Newman.
385
00:14:47,782 --> 00:14:49,648
Hello, Jerry.
386
00:14:49,682 --> 00:14:51,015
How's Pam?
387
00:14:51,048 --> 00:14:53,348
Pam? What do you care?
388
00:14:57,015 --> 00:14:58,044
Well, ta-ta.
389
00:14:58,044 --> 00:14:58,748
Well, ta-ta.
390
00:14:58,782 --> 00:14:59,748
[GIGGLING]
391
00:14:59,782 --> 00:15:02,015
Wait a minute.
392
00:15:02,048 --> 00:15:04,182
[♪]
393
00:15:29,948 --> 00:15:31,715
All right, Newman,
this is it.
394
00:15:31,748 --> 00:15:34,048
Steady, Jerry.
Steady.
395
00:15:34,082 --> 00:15:35,848
You wouldn't wanna lose
your cool now.
396
00:15:35,882 --> 00:15:36,882
Why not?
397
00:15:36,915 --> 00:15:38,315
Because right now
398
00:15:38,348 --> 00:15:39,982
I'm the only chance
you've got.
399
00:15:40,015 --> 00:15:42,048
[GIGGLES]
400
00:15:42,082 --> 00:15:43,748
[SWALLOWS]
401
00:15:43,782 --> 00:15:45,915
Come on.
402
00:15:45,948 --> 00:15:48,415
[♪]
403
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,815
I can't believe
I'm losing Pam.
404
00:15:50,848 --> 00:15:52,482
I know how you feel,
405
00:15:52,515 --> 00:15:54,915
for I too have a woman
for whom I pine.
406
00:15:54,948 --> 00:15:56,415
I thought
we were talking about me.
407
00:15:56,448 --> 00:15:58,044
Right.
Anyway,
408
00:15:58,044 --> 00:15:58,648
Right.
Anyway,
409
00:15:58,682 --> 00:16:00,048
I don't need your help.
410
00:16:00,082 --> 00:16:02,082
Oh, don't you, joke boy?
[DOOR OPENS]
411
00:16:03,748 --> 00:16:05,315
You really think
you can manipulate
412
00:16:05,348 --> 00:16:06,815
that beautiful young woman
413
00:16:06,848 --> 00:16:09,482
like the half-soused,
nightclub rabble
414
00:16:09,515 --> 00:16:13,048
that lap up
your inane "observations"?
415
00:16:13,082 --> 00:16:15,348
All right, Newman.
416
00:16:15,382 --> 00:16:16,848
What do I have to do
to get you to stop
417
00:16:16,882 --> 00:16:18,315
pulling the strings
for Kramer?
418
00:16:18,348 --> 00:16:20,315
Well, there is
a little something
419
00:16:20,348 --> 00:16:21,382
you can do for me.
420
00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:22,815
Come on, out with it.
421
00:16:22,848 --> 00:16:25,415
It's about Elaine.
422
00:16:25,448 --> 00:16:27,048
Elaine?
What does she have to--?
423
00:16:28,748 --> 00:16:30,615
Oh, no.
424
00:16:31,848 --> 00:16:34,848
You dated her.
Give me some inside information.
425
00:16:34,882 --> 00:16:36,582
Anything I can use.
426
00:16:36,615 --> 00:16:38,815
Well, I know she doesn't
wanna have kids.
427
00:16:38,848 --> 00:16:41,648
[♪]
428
00:16:41,682 --> 00:16:45,148
I thought you'd be a little
more enthusiastic about it.
429
00:16:45,182 --> 00:16:47,415
I know. I-- I don't want--
430
00:16:47,448 --> 00:16:48,482
[CLEARS THROAT]
431
00:16:48,515 --> 00:16:49,915
Kids.
432
00:16:49,948 --> 00:16:50,915
What was that?
433
00:16:50,948 --> 00:16:52,315
Well...
434
00:16:52,348 --> 00:16:54,148
Kevin, maybe I have
a little doubt.
435
00:16:54,182 --> 00:16:56,315
I mean,
nothing is 100 percent.
436
00:16:56,348 --> 00:16:57,415
This is.
437
00:16:59,682 --> 00:17:01,648
Oh, boy, I always do this.
438
00:17:01,682 --> 00:17:03,048
What?
I get all jazzed up
439
00:17:03,082 --> 00:17:05,748
about something,
and I go way too far with it.
440
00:17:05,782 --> 00:17:07,215
Really?
Oh, yeah.
441
00:17:07,248 --> 00:17:09,048
Like last summer,
I'm watching TV
442
00:17:09,082 --> 00:17:10,815
and I saw one
of those jet skis.
443
00:17:10,848 --> 00:17:11,815
Huh.
444
00:17:11,848 --> 00:17:13,082
Four thousand dollars later
445
00:17:13,115 --> 00:17:14,648
and it's sitting in my garage.
446
00:17:14,682 --> 00:17:16,082
You know,
that's weird actually,
447
00:17:16,115 --> 00:17:17,582
'cause I'm sort
of the same way.
448
00:17:17,615 --> 00:17:18,682
I mean, once,
449
00:17:18,715 --> 00:17:21,815
for, like, no reason,
I flattened my hair
450
00:17:21,848 --> 00:17:25,682
and I had all these strands
hanging in my face all the time.
451
00:17:25,715 --> 00:17:27,815
Sometimes I think
I do want kids.
452
00:17:27,848 --> 00:17:28,044
Maybe a lot of kids.
453
00:17:28,044 --> 00:17:30,482
Maybe a lot of kids.
454
00:17:30,515 --> 00:17:33,015
Sometimes I think about
wearing my hair real short.
455
00:17:33,048 --> 00:17:35,748
Yeah, I think
I like short hair,
456
00:17:35,782 --> 00:17:37,382
really short.
457
00:17:37,415 --> 00:17:39,182
Yeah.
Yeah.
458
00:17:39,215 --> 00:17:41,182
[♪]
459
00:17:43,215 --> 00:17:47,515
This is a crude mockup
of the conference room.
460
00:17:47,548 --> 00:17:49,148
One-fourteenth scale.
461
00:17:49,182 --> 00:17:50,848
When did you build
this thing?
462
00:17:50,882 --> 00:17:52,182
Yesterday.
Took the day off.
463
00:17:53,715 --> 00:17:58,044
Now, from the time
that I left the room--
464
00:17:58,044 --> 00:17:58,382
Now, from the time
that I left the room--
465
00:17:58,415 --> 00:17:59,548
Wait. That's you?
466
00:17:59,582 --> 00:18:00,682
Yeah.
467
00:18:00,715 --> 00:18:02,848
I think the M&M
should be you.
468
00:18:09,115 --> 00:18:11,648
All right, whatever!
469
00:18:11,682 --> 00:18:15,648
Now, whatever caused
the damage,
470
00:18:15,682 --> 00:18:20,082
it was jarring enough
to completely stop the tape.
471
00:18:20,115 --> 00:18:21,082
And?
472
00:18:21,115 --> 00:18:23,015
Okay.
473
00:18:23,048 --> 00:18:25,382
That's what we know.
474
00:18:25,415 --> 00:18:27,415
But we already knew that.
475
00:18:27,448 --> 00:18:28,044
Well, yeah.
476
00:18:28,044 --> 00:18:28,748
Well, yeah.
477
00:18:28,782 --> 00:18:31,915
Just give me some idea
what you think it could be.
478
00:18:31,948 --> 00:18:33,415
I don't know
if you're ready for it.
479
00:18:33,448 --> 00:18:34,815
Please.
480
00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:39,548
I believe that I'm about
to become the target
481
00:18:39,582 --> 00:18:42,182
of a systematic process
of intimidation
482
00:18:42,215 --> 00:18:44,082
and manipulation,
the likes of which--
483
00:18:44,115 --> 00:18:46,348
Hold it. You're right. I'm--
I'm not ready for this.
484
00:18:46,382 --> 00:18:49,248
[INTERCOM BUZZING]
485
00:18:49,282 --> 00:18:50,648
Yeah?
It's Pam.
486
00:18:50,682 --> 00:18:51,715
Come on up.
487
00:18:51,748 --> 00:18:53,548
All right, it's Pam.
You gotta get going.
488
00:18:53,582 --> 00:18:55,182
I'm not through here,
Jerry.
489
00:18:55,215 --> 00:18:57,382
I'm gonna keep on
investigating.
490
00:18:57,415 --> 00:18:58,044
This thing is like an onion.
491
00:18:58,044 --> 00:18:59,182
This thing is like an onion.
492
00:18:59,215 --> 00:19:03,048
The more layers you peel,
the more it stinks.
493
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:09,848
What was that?
494
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:11,782
We were just playing.
495
00:19:13,048 --> 00:19:14,082
Listen,
496
00:19:14,115 --> 00:19:16,148
I had a long talk
with Kramer today.
497
00:19:16,182 --> 00:19:18,982
Uh-huh?
Well, the thing is I, uh--
498
00:19:19,015 --> 00:19:21,182
I think I have
a little crush on him.
499
00:19:22,748 --> 00:19:24,148
I'm so happy.
500
00:19:24,182 --> 00:19:26,148
My world suddenly has meaning.
501
00:19:26,182 --> 00:19:28,044
This is the man
you have a crush on?
502
00:19:28,044 --> 00:19:28,348
This is the man
you have a crush on?
503
00:19:28,382 --> 00:19:30,482
Well, I have feelings
for both of you.
504
00:19:30,515 --> 00:19:32,582
You have feelings for him?
We're soul mates.
505
00:19:32,615 --> 00:19:33,882
Why can't I be
a soul mate?
506
00:19:33,915 --> 00:19:35,015
Jerry,
507
00:19:35,048 --> 00:19:36,715
you really think
that Pam would want you
508
00:19:36,748 --> 00:19:38,315
to be the father
of her children?
509
00:19:38,348 --> 00:19:39,815
Children?
510
00:19:39,848 --> 00:19:41,348
Who said anything
about children?
511
00:19:41,382 --> 00:19:42,815
I don't wanna have children.
512
00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:45,315
[♪]
513
00:19:45,348 --> 00:19:47,982
GEORGE:
There are some people
in this room
514
00:19:48,015 --> 00:19:50,815
who would've been very happy
to never see...
515
00:19:50,848 --> 00:19:53,048
this briefcase again.
516
00:19:54,348 --> 00:19:55,648
There are people
in this room
517
00:19:55,682 --> 00:19:58,044
who think they can destroy
other people's property
518
00:19:58,044 --> 00:19:58,082
who think they can destroy
other people's property
519
00:19:58,115 --> 00:20:00,348
and get away with it.
520
00:20:00,382 --> 00:20:02,815
Well, let me tell you something
about those people.
521
00:20:02,848 --> 00:20:04,515
They weren't counting
on this brain!
522
00:20:06,215 --> 00:20:08,048
And this tape recorder.
523
00:20:08,082 --> 00:20:09,948
George--
You'll have your turn!
524
00:20:12,182 --> 00:20:14,648
The truth must be heard.
525
00:20:14,682 --> 00:20:15,915
[CLICKS]
526
00:20:15,948 --> 00:20:17,515
WYCK:
Hey, what are you doing?
527
00:20:17,548 --> 00:20:19,482
WOMAN:
Dear God!
528
00:20:19,515 --> 00:20:21,082
[LOUD THUD, RECORDING ENDS]
529
00:20:21,115 --> 00:20:23,048
[CLICKS]
530
00:20:23,082 --> 00:20:24,748
That's all there was,
531
00:20:24,782 --> 00:20:28,044
and yet it speaks volumes.
532
00:20:28,044 --> 00:20:29,048
and yet it speaks volumes.
533
00:20:29,082 --> 00:20:31,715
A low rumple,
534
00:20:31,748 --> 00:20:34,548
a metallic squink,
535
00:20:34,582 --> 00:20:36,682
a galonk,
536
00:20:36,715 --> 00:20:40,282
and someone crying out,
"Dear God!"
537
00:20:41,848 --> 00:20:44,982
Let's start with, uh...
538
00:20:45,015 --> 00:20:46,382
With you, Wyck.
539
00:20:48,848 --> 00:20:49,815
George,
540
00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:52,482
Quinn here was moving a chair.
541
00:20:52,515 --> 00:20:54,515
He lost his balance
and dropped it.
542
00:20:54,548 --> 00:20:56,182
It must have fallen
on your briefcase,
543
00:20:56,215 --> 00:20:57,482
which for some reason,
544
00:20:57,515 --> 00:20:58,044
contained a running
tape recorder.
545
00:20:58,044 --> 00:20:59,082
contained a running
tape recorder.
546
00:21:07,515 --> 00:21:10,148
All right then.
547
00:21:10,182 --> 00:21:12,482
We've gotten
to the bottom of that.
548
00:21:12,515 --> 00:21:13,848
[♪]
549
00:21:16,348 --> 00:21:17,448
Uh--
550
00:21:19,182 --> 00:21:20,882
What are you guys
doing here?
551
00:21:20,915 --> 00:21:22,682
We're getting vasectomies.
552
00:21:24,215 --> 00:21:25,215
[LAUGHING]
Why?
553
00:21:25,248 --> 00:21:26,782
I'm doing it for you.
554
00:21:27,415 --> 00:21:28,044
What?
555
00:21:28,044 --> 00:21:28,382
What?
556
00:21:28,415 --> 00:21:29,848
What'd you do
to your hair?
557
00:21:29,882 --> 00:21:31,882
I cut it.
558
00:21:31,915 --> 00:21:33,315
It's a little short.
559
00:21:33,348 --> 00:21:34,782
You think?
560
00:21:36,448 --> 00:21:37,715
What are you doing here?
561
00:21:37,748 --> 00:21:39,982
Kevin's having
his vasectomy reversed.
562
00:21:40,015 --> 00:21:41,382
Reversed?
Reversed?
563
00:21:42,248 --> 00:21:43,415
[GASPING]
564
00:21:47,782 --> 00:21:49,748
[♪]
565
00:22:01,625 --> 00:22:05,991
He imbibed her glistening spell
566
00:22:06,025 --> 00:22:09,791
Just before the other shoe fell
567
00:22:13,691 --> 00:22:15,158
Is that a Keats poem?
568
00:22:15,191 --> 00:22:16,825
No, it's a Newman.
569
00:22:16,858 --> 00:22:18,391
[QUIETLY]
Newman.
570
00:22:19,391 --> 00:22:20,891
Well, I gotta run.
571
00:22:28,458 --> 00:22:29,819
Does anyone think George
might have murdered Susan?
572
00:22:29,819 --> 00:22:31,658
Does anyone think George
might have murdered Susan?
573
00:22:31,691 --> 00:22:35,125
Oh, yeah, I just assumed
he murdered her.
574
00:22:35,158 --> 00:22:36,791
Of course
he killed her.
575
00:22:36,825 --> 00:22:38,125
So it's not just me then.
576
00:22:38,158 --> 00:22:40,491
All right.
Back to business.
577
00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:42,125
[♪]
38613
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