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1
00:00:02,235 --> 00:00:03,827
Car names are so stupid,
aren't they?
2
00:00:05,405 --> 00:00:06,929
No baron has ever owned
a LeBaron.
3
00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:09,200
Or the Ford LTD.
4
00:00:09,376 --> 00:00:12,641
LTD. Limited.
It's a limited edition.
5
00:00:12,812 --> 00:00:15,474
What did they make,
50 million of those?
6
00:00:15,648 --> 00:00:19,084
Yes, it's limited
to the number we can sell.
7
00:00:19,719 --> 00:00:23,280
Or when they try and mangle
a positive word into a car name.
8
00:00:23,456 --> 00:00:26,391
You know how they'll do that?
The Integra.
9
00:00:26,559 --> 00:00:29,995
Oh, integrity? No, Integra.
10
00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:33,599
The Supra or the Impreza. Yeah?
11
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:36,065
Well, I hope it's not a "lemona."
12
00:00:36,636 --> 00:00:40,003
Or you'll be hearing
from my "lawya."
13
00:00:44,077 --> 00:00:47,137
So, George, you sure I can't show you
any other cars?
14
00:00:48,148 --> 00:00:49,706
I don't think so, Vic.
15
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,111
Done my homework.
16
00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:53,946
'89 Volvo. That's the car for me.
It's the one I want.
17
00:00:54,120 --> 00:00:55,883
I got a LeBaron convertible
right here.
18
00:00:56,589 --> 00:00:58,557
N.I., not interested.
19
00:00:58,725 --> 00:01:02,559
Got a few more miles on it, but
the previous owner was Jon Voight.
20
00:01:04,464 --> 00:01:06,455
Jon Voight?
21
00:01:09,836 --> 00:01:11,235
Okay, Tim, you're welcome.
22
00:01:12,539 --> 00:01:14,973
- Was that Tim Whatley?
- Yes, it was.
23
00:01:15,141 --> 00:01:16,369
He wanted your address.
24
00:01:16,543 --> 00:01:20,104
You, my friend, are gonna be invited to
his night-before-Thanksgiving party.
25
00:01:21,014 --> 00:01:23,107
He's got that great apartment
on 77th Street...
26
00:01:23,283 --> 00:01:26,252
...and they overlook where they inflate
all those huge balloons...
27
00:01:26,419 --> 00:01:28,250
...for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day
Parade.
28
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:33,290
I have always had a big crush on Tim.
Why can't he ask me out?
29
00:01:33,460 --> 00:01:35,951
He's a dentist. You don't wanna go out
with a dentist.
30
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:37,721
- Why?
- He'll always be criticizing...
31
00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:40,764
...your brushing technique.
It'll drive you crazy.
32
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,266
Away from the gums.
33
00:01:45,004 --> 00:01:46,835
New car!
34
00:01:47,140 --> 00:01:48,698
Hey!
35
00:01:48,875 --> 00:01:50,342
Did you get the Volvo?
36
00:01:50,510 --> 00:01:54,139
No, I decided to go
with an '89 LeBaron.
37
00:01:56,249 --> 00:01:57,682
A LeBaron?
38
00:01:57,851 --> 00:02:00,285
I thought Consumer
said Volvo was the car.
39
00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:02,887
What consumer? I'm the consumer.
40
00:02:04,357 --> 00:02:06,382
Seems like a strange choice.
41
00:02:06,793 --> 00:02:08,420
Well, maybe so.
42
00:02:08,595 --> 00:02:13,032
But it was good enough
for Mr. Jon Voight.
43
00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:17,532
- Jon Voight? The actor?
- That's right.
44
00:02:17,704 --> 00:02:22,334
He just happened to be
the previous owner of the vehicle.
45
00:02:22,509 --> 00:02:26,468
You bought a car because
it belonged to Jon Voight?
46
00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,170
No. No.
47
00:02:28,348 --> 00:02:30,373
I think "yes, yes."
48
00:02:30,550 --> 00:02:34,316
You like the idea of telling people
you're driving Jon Voight's car.
49
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,478
All right, maybe I do. So what?
50
00:02:36,923 --> 00:02:41,189
I've never even seen him in a car.
I mean, look at his movies. No cars.
51
00:02:41,361 --> 00:02:44,262
Deliverance, canoe.
52
00:02:44,430 --> 00:02:47,228
Midnight Cowboy, boots.
53
00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:48,867
Runaway Train...
54
00:02:49,035 --> 00:02:50,263
...runaway train.
55
00:02:51,337 --> 00:02:55,433
Hey. Jerry, you know that shoe
repair place at the end of the block?
56
00:02:55,608 --> 00:02:58,304
If they don't get business,
they'll shut down and make way...
57
00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:02,175
...for one of those gourmet coffee
or cookie stores.
58
00:03:02,715 --> 00:03:06,116
- I like coffee.
- I like cookies.
59
00:03:06,286 --> 00:03:08,151
Well, of course you do.
And you know why?
60
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:10,619
Because you're a bunch of yuppies.
61
00:03:10,790 --> 00:03:13,816
It's your "go, go"
corporate-takeover lifestyles...
62
00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:16,393
...that are driving out
these mom-and-pop stores...
63
00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:18,861
...and destroying the fabric
of this neighborhood.
64
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,460
Well, what's so great about
a mom-and-pop store?
65
00:03:21,634 --> 00:03:25,627
If my mom and pop ran a store,
I wouldn't shop there.
66
00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:27,600
Hey, Bucambo...
67
00:03:27,774 --> 00:03:30,265
...they've been in the neighborhood
for 48 years.
68
00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:32,434
Now, come on, Jerry,
you gotta have shoes...
69
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:34,102
...in need of a cobbler.
70
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:37,579
I really don't wear the kind of shoes
that have to be cobbled.
71
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:39,012
Well, what about sneakers?
72
00:03:39,185 --> 00:03:41,278
They'll clean them.
They do complete detailing.
73
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,583
- All right. Take them.
- Yeah, yeah.
74
00:03:46,059 --> 00:03:48,892
Kramer, without you,
we'd be out of business.
75
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:52,327
These belong to my neighbor,
Jerry Seinfeld, the comedian.
76
00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:56,229
- So many sneakers.
- Well, he's got a Peter Pan complex.
77
00:03:56,402 --> 00:03:58,097
They'll be ready
a week from Thursday.
78
00:03:58,271 --> 00:03:59,829
Oh, well, no rush.
79
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:04,271
- What's the matter?
- I keep getting these nosebleeds.
80
00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:07,174
- Lie down. And put your head back.
- Oh, yeah.
81
00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:15,985
- Hey, what's with your ceiling?
- What?
82
00:04:16,155 --> 00:04:19,181
You got wires sticking out
every which way.
83
00:04:19,359 --> 00:04:21,850
It looks dangerous.
You should call an electrician.
84
00:04:22,895 --> 00:04:24,886
You know, in the 48 years
we've been here...
85
00:04:25,064 --> 00:04:27,294
...I don't think we've ever called
an electrician.
86
00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:30,630
Well, you should.
This place could blow any minute.
87
00:04:43,483 --> 00:04:45,383
- Elaine.
- Yes, Mr. Pitt?
88
00:04:45,551 --> 00:04:48,987
Have you gotten all the salt
off those pretzels yet?
89
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:50,782
No. I'm still working on it.
90
00:04:50,957 --> 00:04:52,618
What in blazes
are you listening to?
91
00:04:52,792 --> 00:04:54,987
Artie Shaw, "Honeysuckle Jump."
92
00:04:55,161 --> 00:04:57,152
That was Artie Shaw,
"Honeysuckle Jump."
93
00:04:57,330 --> 00:04:59,730
Elaine, how did you know that?
94
00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:04,632
My father used to have
a huge collection of big-band records.
95
00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:07,102
Congratulations to Wayne Hopper
for identifying it.
96
00:05:07,273 --> 00:05:09,264
By doing so,
he becomes our seventh person...
97
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:11,239
...to man
the Woody Woodpecker balloon...
98
00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:13,572
...in the Macy's
Thanksgiving Day Parade.
99
00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:15,737
There are only three spots left.
100
00:05:15,915 --> 00:05:18,406
When we come back,
you'll have three more chances...
101
00:05:18,584 --> 00:05:21,314
...to win a spot holding a rope
under Woody Woodpecker.
102
00:05:21,487 --> 00:05:24,354
Could you identify the next song?
Could you? Could you?
103
00:05:24,524 --> 00:05:28,324
Why would you wanna hold the ropes
from the Woody Woodpecker balloon?
104
00:05:28,494 --> 00:05:30,359
My father was a stern man.
105
00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:32,657
He forbade us to participate
in any activities...
106
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:35,392
...that he thought were associated
with the common man.
107
00:05:35,568 --> 00:05:38,401
The Thanksgiving Day Parade
was first on the list.
108
00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:41,506
All right. Okay.
I'll do the best I can.
109
00:05:41,674 --> 00:05:44,165
Here we go for the next spot
under the balloon.
110
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,575
If you know the name
of this next song, call 555-BAND.
111
00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:54,844
Well, Elaine? Do you know it?
What song is it?
112
00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:58,354
- Will you shut up? I can't hear!
- I'm sorry.
113
00:05:59,559 --> 00:06:00,821
Oh, I've got it!
114
00:06:00,993 --> 00:06:02,358
It's "Next Stop, Pottersville."
115
00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:04,291
Goody! Yes, yes!
116
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:07,865
"Next Stop, Pottersville."
You are a genius.
117
00:06:09,702 --> 00:06:12,170
You'll love this car,
even if you don't like Jon Voight.
118
00:06:12,338 --> 00:06:15,307
I like Jon Voight. Just seems like
a strange reason to buy a car...
119
00:06:15,475 --> 00:06:17,033
...because he might have driven it.
120
00:06:17,210 --> 00:06:18,609
What do you mean, "might"?
121
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:21,645
- You don't think he really owned it?
- I don't know.
122
00:06:21,814 --> 00:06:23,873
Why would the guy make up
something like that?
123
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:26,780
Of all the names he could pick,
why settle on Jon Voight?
124
00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:28,716
Don't you see,
that's the genius of it.
125
00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:32,483
If he had said Liam Neeson,
you'd know he's making it up.
126
00:06:32,658 --> 00:06:34,216
Liam Neeson?
127
00:06:35,027 --> 00:06:38,292
How are you comparing
Liam Neeson with Jon Voight?
128
00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:40,295
Jerry, we're talking about Joe Buck.
129
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:45,166
If you can play Joe Buck,
Oskar Schindler's a cakewalk.
130
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:47,272
Oh, look at this.
I stepped in gum.
131
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:49,908
You're not getting in my car
with gummy shoes.
132
00:06:51,010 --> 00:06:53,774
All right. I'll change my shoes.
133
00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:55,875
Liam Neeson.
134
00:06:56,048 --> 00:06:57,777
You know he's not American.
135
00:06:59,051 --> 00:07:01,042
Let me get a clean pair.
136
00:07:02,288 --> 00:07:05,655
Everybody's talking at me
137
00:07:06,559 --> 00:07:09,289
I can't hear a word they're saying
138
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:13,595
Just driving round
In Jon Voight's car
139
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,327
Kramer!
140
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,299
Hey, where's all my sneakers?
141
00:07:23,476 --> 00:07:26,343
- You said take them.
- Not all of them.
142
00:07:26,512 --> 00:07:28,980
Well, obviously,
there was a miscommunication.
143
00:07:29,649 --> 00:07:31,947
Obviously. So, what am I
supposed to wear?
144
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,109
- Jerry, I left you a pair right here.
- Where?
145
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:35,845
Come on. You're not looking.
146
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:38,320
Here. There. Put on those boots.
147
00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:41,788
I can't wear these.
148
00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:43,957
- Well, why not?
- They're uncomfortable.
149
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:45,859
Come on here. Try them on.
150
00:07:47,333 --> 00:07:48,698
Where did you get those?
151
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:51,894
I worked a club in Dallas one time,
and they couldn't pay me...
152
00:07:52,071 --> 00:07:53,299
...so they gave me these.
153
00:07:55,675 --> 00:07:58,735
I can't wear these.
They look ridiculous.
154
00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:03,339
You look like a cowboy.
155
00:08:04,283 --> 00:08:07,184
I don't wanna be a cowboy.
156
00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:09,150
Oh, stop it.
157
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:10,914
You know Tim the dentist?
158
00:08:11,090 --> 00:08:13,422
I got an invitation to his
Thanksgiving eve party.
159
00:08:13,593 --> 00:08:17,188
- Yeah? I got one too.
- Oh, yeah?
160
00:08:18,130 --> 00:08:20,223
- What?
- No. Nothing.
161
00:08:20,399 --> 00:08:24,392
- No, what is it?
- No, it's just that I didn't get one.
162
00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:25,935
You didn't get one?
163
00:08:26,305 --> 00:08:29,206
But he called me up and asked
for yours and Elaine's addresses.
164
00:08:29,375 --> 00:08:30,865
I'm sure that means I'm invited.
165
00:08:31,043 --> 00:08:33,443
Not necessarily.
166
00:08:33,613 --> 00:08:35,774
Why would you call someone
for addresses...
167
00:08:35,948 --> 00:08:37,745
...if you're not invited to the party?
168
00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:40,477
That's the genius of it.
169
00:08:43,623 --> 00:08:47,753
I'm calling Elaine. See if she can
find out anything from Tim Whatley.
170
00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:51,192
Hey, I got Jon Voight's LeBaron.
171
00:08:52,131 --> 00:08:53,564
Boss.
172
00:08:56,869 --> 00:09:00,305
Four thousand dollars!
We can't afford that.
173
00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,373
Well, you have to do
something about it...
174
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,874
...because it's in violation
of the building code.
175
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:07,202
Otherwise, they're gonna
close you up.
176
00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:11,283
Supposing we can't pay for it?
177
00:09:11,450 --> 00:09:13,213
Then I have to report you.
178
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:15,513
Otherwise, I lose my license.
179
00:09:15,688 --> 00:09:17,781
Sorry.
180
00:09:19,992 --> 00:09:22,119
Forty-eight years, Mom.
181
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,523
And now we have to close.
182
00:09:23,696 --> 00:09:26,893
All because of that idiot
and his bloody nose.
183
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:29,330
Afternoon, Mom. Afternoon, Pop.
184
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,299
You know you got a crack
in the sidewalk?
185
00:09:31,470 --> 00:09:32,767
You ought to get that fixed.
186
00:09:38,844 --> 00:09:41,074
- So?
- Come on, put the top up.
187
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:44,774
- It's November.
- I feel alive, Jerry.
188
00:09:44,951 --> 00:09:46,612
Let's check out the glove box.
189
00:09:46,786 --> 00:09:48,310
Pencil.
190
00:09:48,487 --> 00:09:51,081
Hey, you don't think...?
191
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,986
Sure. That's Jon Voight's pencil.
192
00:09:53,859 --> 00:09:55,190
With Jon Voight's teeth marks.
193
00:09:58,064 --> 00:10:00,692
Owner's manual.
194
00:10:00,866 --> 00:10:03,096
You know what?
This car was owned by Jon Voight.
195
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,600
You see? I told you.
196
00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:08,305
Except Jon is spelled with an "H."
197
00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:11,272
- J-O-H-N.
- So?
198
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,777
Doesrt Jon Voight
spell his name J-O-N?
199
00:10:21,687 --> 00:10:23,655
- So, what are you saying?
- Nothing.
200
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:26,485
I'm sure Jon probably misspelled
his own name.
201
00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:29,526
I know sometimes I spell Jerry
with a G.
202
00:10:29,695 --> 00:10:31,219
And an I.
203
00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:41,869
- Get out of the car!
- What?
204
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:45,340
That's right, you heard me. Get out.
You're ruining this whole experience.
205
00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:48,605
Oh, look. There's
Gregory Peck's bicycle.
206
00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:51,545
- Get out!
- And Barbara Mandrell's skateboard.
207
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:53,514
Get out!
208
00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,490
Hey, cowboy.
209
00:11:00,693 --> 00:11:02,092
Where's your horse?
210
00:11:03,996 --> 00:11:05,964
Yeah, you better run.
211
00:11:11,270 --> 00:11:13,363
- Did they take anything?
- They didn't touch me.
212
00:11:13,539 --> 00:11:16,007
I tripped because of
these stupid cowboy boots.
213
00:11:16,409 --> 00:11:19,537
Well, anyway, again, I'm sorry
about throwing you out of the car.
214
00:11:19,712 --> 00:11:22,272
- You really seemed to enjoy it.
- It was kind of fun.
215
00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:28,143
You know, maybe his name
really is J-O-H-N...
216
00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,948
...but he changed it to J-O-N
for show business.
217
00:11:31,323 --> 00:11:34,417
Well, you know, J-O-N
is a lot zippier.
218
00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:37,190
Yeah, that's possible.
219
00:11:37,363 --> 00:11:40,025
How would you find out
something like that?
220
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,863
Wait a minute. What am I thinking?
221
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:45,970
I've got the entire Yankee organization
at my disposal.
222
00:11:47,106 --> 00:11:50,303
- He'll dispose of it.
- That's right. See you later.
223
00:11:52,111 --> 00:11:55,911
So, Jerome, I did a little
snooping around for you.
224
00:11:56,082 --> 00:11:57,640
What'd you find out, Lois?
225
00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:02,481
Well, I talked to Tim Whatley.
226
00:12:03,422 --> 00:12:04,650
Yeah?
227
00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:07,725
And I asked him,
"Should Jerry bring anything?"
228
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:09,827
Subtle.
229
00:12:09,995 --> 00:12:12,828
And he said,
"Why would Jerry bring anything?"
230
00:12:12,998 --> 00:12:14,727
All right, but let me ask you this.
231
00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:16,333
Which word did he emphasize?
232
00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:19,596
Did he say,
"Why would Jerry bring anything?"
233
00:12:19,772 --> 00:12:22,969
Or, "Why would Jerry
bring anything?"
234
00:12:23,142 --> 00:12:26,077
Did he emphasize
"Jerry" or "bring"?
235
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:29,347
I think he emphasized "would."
236
00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:32,841
Know what? The hell with this party.
237
00:12:33,018 --> 00:12:34,542
I don't wanna go to begin with.
238
00:12:35,054 --> 00:12:37,488
- Hey.
- Hey. So where's my sneakers?
239
00:12:37,656 --> 00:12:39,749
- That's what I wanna know.
- What do you mean?
240
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,722
Well, I saw Mom and Pop
this morning...
241
00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:45,091
...but when I went by the store on
my way home, the place was empty.
242
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,630
Everything is gone.
Mom and Pop...
243
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:50,098
...vanished.
244
00:12:50,269 --> 00:12:52,965
- So all my sneakers are gone?
- I'm afraid so.
245
00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:54,834
And that's just the tip
of the iceberg.
246
00:12:55,007 --> 00:12:58,101
I've been asking around.
They didn't even have any kids.
247
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:02,538
Mom and Pop aren't even
a mom and pop?
248
00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:03,943
It was all an act, Jerry.
249
00:13:04,116 --> 00:13:06,983
They conned us,
and they scored bigtime.
250
00:13:07,486 --> 00:13:12,389
So Mom and Pop's plan was
to move into the neighborhood...
251
00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:15,322
...establish trust...
252
00:13:15,494 --> 00:13:18,088
...for 48 years...
253
00:13:19,165 --> 00:13:22,999
...and then run off
with Jerry's sneakers?
254
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:24,927
Apparently.
255
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,363
All right. That's enough of this.
256
00:13:28,541 --> 00:13:31,169
- Where you going?
- I gotta go to the Dixieland Deli...
257
00:13:31,343 --> 00:13:34,369
...to pick up Mr. Pitt's security pass
for the parade.
258
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:37,277
Why does he wanna hold a rope
underneath Woody Woodpecker...
259
00:13:37,449 --> 00:13:39,178
...in the Thanksgiving Day Parade?
260
00:13:39,351 --> 00:13:42,912
He finds his laugh intoxicating.
261
00:13:44,957 --> 00:13:47,016
So, George, what kind
of promotional events...
262
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:48,854
...are we talking about?
- Well...
263
00:13:49,028 --> 00:13:52,725
...I think we need more
special days at the stadium.
264
00:13:52,898 --> 00:13:54,126
You know, like...
265
00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,825
...Joe Pepitone Day...
266
00:13:57,870 --> 00:14:00,737
...or Jon Voight Day.
- Jon Voight?
267
00:14:00,906 --> 00:14:02,669
The actor?
268
00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:07,206
I make a motion that we have
no more of these meetings...
269
00:14:07,379 --> 00:14:10,746
...that have been initiated
by George Costanza.
270
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:13,681
I suppose if I had suggested
Liam Neeson Day...
271
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:15,684
...you'd all be patting me
on the back.
272
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,817
I guessed Stan Hermars
"Boomtown Blues."
273
00:14:21,026 --> 00:14:26,362
- What did you guess?
- It was "Next Stop, Pottersville."
274
00:14:26,532 --> 00:14:28,432
Everybody knows that.
275
00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:31,095
You know when they're giving out
the passes?
276
00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:32,631
After the music.
277
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:48,318
Oh, man.
278
00:14:52,391 --> 00:14:54,416
Taxi! Taxi.
279
00:14:56,395 --> 00:14:58,420
Hey! Jon Voight!
280
00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:01,122
Jon Voight! Hey, listen.
281
00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:05,664
Can I ask you something?
Listen. Do you...? Wait...
282
00:15:14,446 --> 00:15:17,210
- No Jon Voight Day, huh?
- No.
283
00:15:17,383 --> 00:15:20,511
Now I'll always have this doubt
about the car.
284
00:15:20,686 --> 00:15:23,280
- What, your jaw still hurts?
- Yeah, it's all swollen.
285
00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:25,685
I think I chipped a tooth
when I fell yesterday.
286
00:15:26,258 --> 00:15:28,783
- Have somebody look at it.
- I'm calling dentists all day.
287
00:15:28,961 --> 00:15:30,929
Nobody working
the day before Thanksgiving.
288
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:33,929
- You going to the party?
- No. I don't know if I'm invited.
289
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:37,267
- There'll be lots of dentists there.
- Yeah, you're right.
290
00:15:37,436 --> 00:15:39,131
You don't wanna suffer all weekend.
291
00:15:39,305 --> 00:15:41,865
Yeah, I gotta see a dentist.
This is killing me.
292
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:45,033
Well, I'll take a chance.
We'll go together.
293
00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:49,370
Maybe I'll just meet you there.
294
00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:51,448
- You don't wanna go with me?
- Jerry...
295
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:54,552
...for all I know, this guy went
out of his way to not invite you.
296
00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,654
How am I gonna feel if I show up...
297
00:15:56,822 --> 00:15:58,847
...with an uninvited,
unwelcome intruder?
298
00:15:59,491 --> 00:16:02,460
The way I feel
when I go places with you?
299
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:07,388
- Hey.
- Hey. Did you find my sneakers yet?
300
00:16:07,566 --> 00:16:10,000
No. But I ran into somebody
you might be interested in.
301
00:16:10,169 --> 00:16:12,399
A Mr. Jon Voight, the actor.
302
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,399
Jon Voight, are you kidding me?!
Did you talk to him?
303
00:16:15,574 --> 00:16:17,064
He was a little standoffish.
304
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,006
What, you didn't ask him
about the car?
305
00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:25,082
I couldn't. His cab pulled away.
But he did make an impression on me.
306
00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:26,717
- Look.
- What?
307
00:16:26,885 --> 00:16:29,217
His tooth marks. He bit me.
308
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:32,323
- Jon Voight bit you?
- What is he, a vampire?
309
00:16:32,491 --> 00:16:35,483
No, it's justifiable.
He thought I was going for his wallet.
310
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:38,027
- He left perfect imprints.
- That he did.
311
00:16:38,197 --> 00:16:41,223
You've got that pencil
with the bite marks on it?
312
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:45,336
We get a trained eye to match them,
and we'll see if you're driving his car.
313
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,904
Oh, please.
314
00:16:48,073 --> 00:16:50,098
Wait a minute.
Wait, it's not that stupid.
315
00:16:50,275 --> 00:16:52,607
No, it's stupid.
316
00:16:52,778 --> 00:16:55,440
Why? Why is it impossible?
I mean, they're both bite marks.
317
00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:58,310
So you're showing up at that party
with a chewed-up pencil...
318
00:16:58,484 --> 00:16:59,849
...and Kramer's gnarled arm?
319
00:17:01,420 --> 00:17:03,581
- It's won'th a shot.
- Yeah.
320
00:17:03,756 --> 00:17:05,690
Kramer, you wanna go
to the party together?
321
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:08,122
Jerry, look, come on,
I'm an invited guest.
322
00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:11,558
I can't be aiding and abetting
some party crasher.
323
00:17:25,511 --> 00:17:29,311
Excuse me, dentist? Dentist?
324
00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:34,012
Dentist?
325
00:17:34,186 --> 00:17:36,654
Are you a dentist?
326
00:17:36,822 --> 00:17:38,619
Are you a dentist?
327
00:17:39,591 --> 00:17:41,422
These are the balloons?
328
00:17:41,593 --> 00:17:43,561
Big deal. All I see
is Woody Woodpecker.
329
00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:47,459
You got a problem
with Woody Woodpecker?
330
00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:50,363
Yeah. What is he,
some sort of an instigator?
331
00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:53,369
That's right. He's a troublemaker.
332
00:17:55,841 --> 00:17:57,331
Hey, did you get my message?
333
00:17:57,676 --> 00:17:59,871
What? I can't hear
a word you're saying.
334
00:18:00,045 --> 00:18:05,108
I was stuck at the Dixieland Deli
all day. My head is still ringing.
335
00:18:05,284 --> 00:18:06,683
Where's Tim?
336
00:18:06,852 --> 00:18:08,581
What's that,
the Empire State Building?
337
00:18:08,754 --> 00:18:10,745
What? I can't hear you!
338
00:18:12,958 --> 00:18:14,448
Elaine, would you marry me?
339
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:18,089
Wh...? I told you,
I can't hear a word.
340
00:18:18,263 --> 00:18:20,231
All right. Forget it.
341
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:24,533
- Hey, Tim, how you doing?
- George. Kramer, how you doing?
342
00:18:24,703 --> 00:18:26,534
Watch... Watch the arm.
343
00:18:26,705 --> 00:18:29,196
Listen, we don't wanna bother you.
We know you're busy.
344
00:18:29,374 --> 00:18:31,808
- No, it's okay, what is it?
- Let me show you something.
345
00:18:31,977 --> 00:18:33,706
- Take a look.
- I'm gonna get going.
346
00:18:33,879 --> 00:18:36,507
Let me take down your number.
347
00:18:37,883 --> 00:18:40,818
- Hey, is that Jerry Seinfeld?
- Hey, he didn't come with us.
348
00:18:40,986 --> 00:18:43,045
- Tim, the pencil.
- Jerry.
349
00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:46,055
- Hey, Tim.
- Jerry. I didn't think you'd show.
350
00:18:46,492 --> 00:18:50,019
Did you say, "Jerry,
I didn't think you'd show"...
351
00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:52,891
...or "Jerry, I didn't think
you'd show."
352
00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:57,960
- Elaine, hi.
- Tim.
353
00:18:58,137 --> 00:18:59,798
I'm really glad you came.
354
00:19:00,572 --> 00:19:03,837
- What?
- I'm really glad you came.
355
00:19:07,379 --> 00:19:10,837
Listen, Elaine,
I've been wanting to ask you...
356
00:19:11,016 --> 00:19:13,507
...would you like to go out with me
New Year's Eve?
357
00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:19,951
Thanks.
358
00:19:20,125 --> 00:19:22,320
What? What?
359
00:19:22,761 --> 00:19:24,194
Let me ask you something.
360
00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:27,298
Could you tell if teeth marks
on somebody's arm...
361
00:19:27,466 --> 00:19:29,058
...matched teeth marks on a pencil?
362
00:19:29,601 --> 00:19:32,593
- It's possible.
- Roll up your sleeve.
363
00:19:32,771 --> 00:19:34,068
Somebody bit you?
364
00:19:34,239 --> 00:19:36,833
Well, not just someone.
Jon Voight.
365
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,102
- Jon Voight bit you?
- Yeah, yeah.
366
00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:43,540
The pencil.
Get the pencil out of your mouth!
367
00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:46,445
You're destroying
Jon Voight's teeth marks.
368
00:19:46,618 --> 00:19:49,246
- That's Jon Voight's pencil?
- That's right.
369
00:19:49,421 --> 00:19:52,083
And I got his whole car downstairs.
370
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:54,851
Are you the one you bought
his LeBaron convertible?
371
00:19:55,027 --> 00:19:56,756
- Yes! Yes!
- Yes!
372
00:19:56,929 --> 00:19:59,056
Yes, I'm the one.
373
00:19:59,231 --> 00:20:03,565
- So you know Jon Voight?
- Yes. I went to dental school with him.
374
00:20:04,636 --> 00:20:07,161
- Jon Voight, the actor?
- No.
375
00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:08,567
The periodontist.
376
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:11,668
Can't this wait until Monday?
Come by my office.
377
00:20:11,843 --> 00:20:16,007
- Just a quick peek. I'm in agony.
- All right. Sit down.
378
00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:18,780
It's this one here in the back.
379
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:26,922
You popped Woody Woodpecker!
380
00:20:29,194 --> 00:20:31,822
Hey, who invited you anyway?
You're a troublemaker.
381
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,962
Looks like Woody Woodpecker
is running out of air.
382
00:20:40,138 --> 00:20:42,436
In fact, he's collapsing.
383
00:20:43,342 --> 00:20:46,004
Those kids look pretty disappointed.
384
00:20:46,178 --> 00:20:48,772
Especially that big kid
up in the front.
385
00:20:49,214 --> 00:20:50,442
How old is he?
386
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:55,212
- Hello.
- Hello, is this Jerry Seinfeld?
387
00:20:55,387 --> 00:20:57,184
- Yes, it is.
- You don't know me...
388
00:20:57,356 --> 00:20:59,187
...but a really
strange thing happened.
389
00:20:59,358 --> 00:21:01,417
I was at a garage sale,
and this old couple...
390
00:21:01,593 --> 00:21:02,855
...sold me used sneakers...
391
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:05,792
...they claimed belonged
to Jerry Seinfeld, the comedian.
392
00:21:05,964 --> 00:21:08,023
Could I have the address
to that garage sale?
393
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,966
Okay, thank you very much.
394
00:21:11,503 --> 00:21:13,869
I found Mom and Pop.
They're selling my sneakers.
395
00:21:14,039 --> 00:21:15,870
- Where are they?
- Parsippany, New Jersey.
396
00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:17,372
Let's go.
397
00:21:18,844 --> 00:21:21,972
- My car's in the shop.
- How are we getting to Parsippany?
398
00:21:29,821 --> 00:21:31,413
Jerry...
399
00:21:31,590 --> 00:21:34,184
...these nosebleeds
are starting again.
400
00:21:34,359 --> 00:21:36,418
Maybe we should get you
to a hospital.
401
00:21:36,595 --> 00:21:38,825
I ain't going to no Bellevue.
402
00:21:38,997 --> 00:21:42,592
Look at me,
I'm falling apart here.
403
00:22:06,458 --> 00:22:08,858
The marching band
is a perfect example...
404
00:22:09,027 --> 00:22:12,258
...of taking something bad
and making it difficult too.
405
00:22:12,431 --> 00:22:15,594
I mean, why does the band
have to march? We're not moving.
406
00:22:15,767 --> 00:22:18,463
Maybe if they hold still,
we could all leave.
407
00:22:19,237 --> 00:22:21,364
Is that why they do it?
People try and get away.
408
00:22:21,540 --> 00:22:24,737
"No, you don't. I'm right with you.
Right with you, buddy."
409
00:22:25,711 --> 00:22:31,172
The human urge to wave
at total strangers just moving by...
410
00:22:31,350 --> 00:22:33,181
...is very strong, isn't it?
411
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:35,183
Parades and ocean liners...
412
00:22:35,354 --> 00:22:38,084
...and those little trains that
go through amusement parks.
413
00:22:38,256 --> 00:22:40,690
It's always that bittersweet,
kind of hello-goodbye...
414
00:22:40,859 --> 00:22:42,656
...combination wave, isn't it? Just:
415
00:22:42,828 --> 00:22:45,490
I've never seen these people
before in my life...
416
00:22:45,664 --> 00:22:47,564
...and they're leaving.
417
00:22:48,564 --> 00:22:58,564
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