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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 0 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 1 00:00:02,569 --> 00:00:04,264 The thing I admire about the Chinese... 2 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:07,739 ...is they're hanging in there with the chopsticks. 3 00:00:08,108 --> 00:00:11,509 Because if you think about it, they've seen the fork by now. 4 00:00:12,078 --> 00:00:17,209 I'm sure they've seen the spoon. They're going, "Yeah, they're okay. 5 00:00:17,384 --> 00:00:19,909 We're gonna stay with the sticks." 6 00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:22,479 I mean, I don't know how they missed it. 7 00:00:22,655 --> 00:00:24,987 Thousands of years ago, Chinese farmer gets up... 8 00:00:25,158 --> 00:00:27,092 ...has his breakfast with the chopsticks... 9 00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:31,390 ...goes out and works all day in the field with a shovel. 10 00:00:31,564 --> 00:00:33,054 Hello? 11 00:00:33,233 --> 00:00:35,030 Shovel? 12 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:39,999 Not going out there plowing 40 acres with a couple of pool cues. 13 00:00:45,912 --> 00:00:47,504 Good shave today. 14 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,375 Don't worry, I can manage these bags. 15 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:50,914 Really, I'm fine. 16 00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:53,143 I'm thinking of letting my sideburns grow in. 17 00:00:53,319 --> 00:00:54,547 Can we rest here a second? 18 00:00:55,622 --> 00:00:57,715 Yeah, I guess. 19 00:00:59,659 --> 00:01:02,150 - So how's Noreen? - She got a new boyfriend. Paul. 20 00:01:02,328 --> 00:01:04,091 Already? That was fast. 21 00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:05,822 I assume he's not a high-talker. 22 00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:08,490 No, but he has the worst habit. 23 00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:11,398 Whenever he answers the phone, he won't put Noreen right on. 24 00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:13,630 You have to go through 10 minutes of chit-chat. 25 00:01:13,807 --> 00:01:16,139 - A long-talker. - Yeah. 26 00:01:16,309 --> 00:01:18,436 He is so boring. 27 00:01:18,611 --> 00:01:20,909 Now whenever he answers the phone, I just hang up. 28 00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,181 All right, let's move it out. 29 00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:28,216 Hey, isn't that George's father? 30 00:01:28,388 --> 00:01:30,754 Oh, yeah, it is. Should we say hello? 31 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:35,088 I've never seen him in Manattan before. It's weird. It's so out of context. 32 00:01:35,795 --> 00:01:37,763 That man he's with... 33 00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:40,792 ...is he wearing a cape? 34 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,465 I believe he is wearing a cape. 35 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:48,199 Why is Mr. Costanza with a man in a cape? 36 00:01:48,374 --> 00:01:51,468 Well, it is good cape weather. Cool, breezy. 37 00:01:51,644 --> 00:01:54,511 Why a cape? Who wears a cape? 38 00:01:54,681 --> 00:01:56,911 Where do you even get a cape? 39 00:01:57,083 --> 00:01:58,846 You're right, it is strange. 40 00:01:59,018 --> 00:02:01,885 In fact, let's cross to the other side of the street. 41 00:02:02,355 --> 00:02:04,619 Cover me. 42 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:14,259 Just plop it on the counter there. 43 00:02:16,202 --> 00:02:18,067 Oh, I got a message. 44 00:02:21,541 --> 00:02:23,168 Hey, it's George. 45 00:02:23,343 --> 00:02:25,277 I got nothing to say. 46 00:02:27,247 --> 00:02:28,976 That sounds urgent. 47 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,014 Let me call him back. 48 00:02:32,118 --> 00:02:33,608 Hello? 49 00:02:33,786 --> 00:02:35,185 Who is this? 50 00:02:35,355 --> 00:02:37,050 Donna Chang? 51 00:02:37,223 --> 00:02:39,657 I'm sorry. I must have dialed the wrong number. 52 00:02:39,826 --> 00:02:40,815 Donna Chang? 53 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:42,689 Should've talked. I love Chinese women. 54 00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:44,989 Isn't that a little racist? 55 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:49,363 If I like their race, how can that be racist? 56 00:02:52,272 --> 00:02:53,705 Hello? 57 00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:55,966 Oh, is this Donna Chang again? 58 00:02:56,142 --> 00:02:58,508 Yes, I am calling George. 59 00:02:58,678 --> 00:03:01,670 Oh, the lines are crossed. You're getting his calls. 60 00:03:01,848 --> 00:03:03,941 Well, what do you know. 61 00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:05,879 - Hi. - So listen... 62 00:03:06,052 --> 00:03:08,748 I'm going through this stuff like water. 63 00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:12,391 - Who are you talking to? - He's on with a Chinese woman. 64 00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:15,618 You know, I dig Asian women. 65 00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:20,132 You got a comfort problem there? 66 00:03:20,833 --> 00:03:22,596 No, I think these Jockeys shrunk. 67 00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:25,971 - I thought you wore silk underwear. - No. 68 00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:28,630 I wore them for a month, but I couldn't stick with it. 69 00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:32,039 I need the secure packaging of Jockeys. 70 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,613 My boys need a house. 71 00:03:40,653 --> 00:03:42,518 That's nice. 72 00:03:43,256 --> 00:03:46,054 Listen, if you ever wanna have kids, you shouldn't wear briefs. 73 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,194 Boxers are much better for your sperm count. 74 00:03:48,795 --> 00:03:50,319 Sperm count? 75 00:03:50,496 --> 00:03:52,794 Well, how many sperm should I have? 76 00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,196 A lot. 77 00:03:55,368 --> 00:03:57,233 I got a date. 78 00:03:57,403 --> 00:03:59,394 - With the Chinese woman? - She knew who I was. 79 00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:01,164 She saw me at a club one time. 80 00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:04,902 My first date ever with the Pacific Rim. I'm very excited. 81 00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:08,007 Jerry, you ever have your sperm count checked? 82 00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:10,911 No, why should I? I wear boxers. 83 00:04:11,551 --> 00:04:13,075 You ever get a woman pregnant? 84 00:04:13,253 --> 00:04:16,279 I'm sorry, Kramer. Those records are permanently sealed. 85 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:20,119 What would you say if I told you I never impregnated a woman? 86 00:04:20,293 --> 00:04:21,521 Really? 87 00:04:21,694 --> 00:04:24,254 You never slipped one past the goalie in all these years? 88 00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:28,526 I'm surprised. You've slept with a lot of women. 89 00:04:28,701 --> 00:04:30,396 A lot of women! 90 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:33,729 Do you think maybe I'm... 91 00:04:33,906 --> 00:04:35,931 ...depleted? 92 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,543 Well, I'm sure you're not totally depleted. 93 00:04:38,711 --> 00:04:41,646 But what if I am? I'm the last male Kramer. 94 00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:43,509 We're facing extinction. 95 00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:46,049 Go to a fertility clinic, check your sperm count. 96 00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:48,779 Yeah, but then I'd have to... Well, you know... 97 00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:51,788 Into a cup in the middle of the day? 98 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,620 What, does that conflict with your regular schedule? 99 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,199 All right, I'm gonna try Noreen again. 100 00:05:01,367 --> 00:05:05,167 I am very excited about this date. We're going to Hunan Balcony. 101 00:05:05,338 --> 00:05:08,307 She's Chinese, so you suggest Chinese food? 102 00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:11,272 - She suggested it. - I thought Chinese don't eat Chinese. 103 00:05:11,444 --> 00:05:13,969 She's very assimilated. 104 00:05:14,681 --> 00:05:16,012 Hello. 105 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:21,309 - Paul again? - You can't get one ring past him. 106 00:05:22,755 --> 00:05:25,656 - Hey, hey. You don't call me back? - I tried. 107 00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,759 Your line's crossed with a Chinese woman. 108 00:05:28,895 --> 00:05:33,093 Hey, George, we saw your father on the street before. 109 00:05:33,266 --> 00:05:35,734 What's he doing in the city today? 110 00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:37,665 You didn't ask him? 111 00:05:40,540 --> 00:05:43,441 - You didn't say hello? - Well, he was with someone... 112 00:05:43,609 --> 00:05:46,908 ...a man in a cape. 113 00:05:48,081 --> 00:05:49,708 Why was he wearing a cape? 114 00:05:52,418 --> 00:05:55,012 Was my father wearing a cape? 115 00:05:55,188 --> 00:05:57,247 No, jacket and tie. No cape. 116 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:01,585 A cape. 117 00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:05,719 What was a man with a cape doing with my father? 118 00:06:05,898 --> 00:06:09,231 What was my father doing with a man in a cape? 119 00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:13,237 Why a cape? 120 00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,411 The results of your sperm test are in. 121 00:06:23,916 --> 00:06:26,214 Are you planning to start a family? 122 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,987 Yes, I would like to very much. 123 00:06:30,156 --> 00:06:32,021 I'm low, aren't I? I can feel it. 124 00:06:32,625 --> 00:06:36,823 - Yes, I'm afraid you're a little low. - Oh, man! 125 00:06:37,296 --> 00:06:39,264 It's over. The Kramer name is finished. 126 00:06:39,432 --> 00:06:42,230 - I'm never gonna procreate, huh? - That's not necessarily true. 127 00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,996 There are measures you can take to improve your fertility. 128 00:06:45,171 --> 00:06:48,436 All right, what? What? You tell me. I'll do anything. Come on, tell me. 129 00:06:48,608 --> 00:06:52,135 First thing, you should wear boxer shorts. 130 00:06:53,479 --> 00:06:55,709 - All the time? - All the time. 131 00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:58,009 You have to get off Jockeys right away. 132 00:06:58,184 --> 00:07:00,812 But I've always worn Jockeys. 133 00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:08,257 Hi, Paul, it's Elaine calling. 134 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:11,625 Yeah, I'm calling from a car phone, so I don't really have time to talk. 135 00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:14,460 Is Noreen there? 136 00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:15,896 Oh, she's not? Okay, great. 137 00:07:16,068 --> 00:07:18,332 Well, you can just tell her I called then, and... 138 00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:24,438 Well, yes, it has been unseasonably cool lately. 139 00:07:26,879 --> 00:07:31,043 Okay. Well, look, I'm pulling up to the building now, so I'm gonna... 140 00:07:31,918 --> 00:07:34,853 Yeah, I tip 20 percent too. 141 00:07:37,089 --> 00:07:40,718 Lookit, Paul, the car seems to be running out of gas... 142 00:07:40,893 --> 00:07:44,727 ...so I'm gonna have to get off the phone. 143 00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:49,032 Please let me know when your party has arrived. 144 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,193 Yes, I will. 145 00:07:52,438 --> 00:07:54,167 - You mind? - No, go ahead. 146 00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:56,900 I secondhand smoke two packs a day. 147 00:07:58,244 --> 00:07:59,609 Jerry. 148 00:08:00,780 --> 00:08:03,544 - Excuse me? - Hi, sorry I'm late. 149 00:08:03,716 --> 00:08:06,480 - Who are you? - I'm Donna Chang. 150 00:08:08,988 --> 00:08:10,421 What do you mean? 151 00:08:10,590 --> 00:08:12,683 I mean I'm Donna Chang. 152 00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:15,058 You're Donna Chang? 153 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:17,588 Did you think I was Chinese? 154 00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:21,098 No. What, you mean because of the "Chang"? 155 00:08:21,267 --> 00:08:23,428 Actually, the family name wasrt originally Chang. 156 00:08:23,603 --> 00:08:25,764 - I didn't think so. - Used to be "Changstein." 157 00:08:28,674 --> 00:08:32,075 - She's not Chinese? - No, not Chinese. 158 00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:34,269 Not even Asian. 159 00:08:34,814 --> 00:08:38,306 - So, what is she? - Well, she's like you. 160 00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:42,617 Oh, how disappointed you must have been. 161 00:08:43,723 --> 00:08:45,418 Well, it's false advertising, see? 162 00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:49,220 And the thing is, I think she likes people thinking she's Chinese. 163 00:08:49,395 --> 00:08:51,090 She suggests Chinese food... 164 00:08:51,264 --> 00:08:53,528 ...she always introduces herself as Donna Chang. 165 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,523 So why are you seeing her again? 166 00:08:55,701 --> 00:08:57,862 Well, she is a woman. 167 00:08:58,304 --> 00:09:01,273 Listen, I spoke to Paul and Noreen. They might be breaking up. 168 00:09:01,807 --> 00:09:03,707 - Really? - Well, maybe. 169 00:09:05,444 --> 00:09:07,912 Hey, wouldn't it be funny if Paul and Noreen broke up... 170 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,173 ...because you kept hanging up on him? 171 00:09:11,684 --> 00:09:14,744 - What do you mean? - Lf Paul thought it was some guy... 172 00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:18,254 ...hanging up because he was having an affair with Noreen. 173 00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:22,925 Here, take my Jockey shorts. 174 00:09:23,963 --> 00:09:25,396 Hey, what is that? 175 00:09:25,765 --> 00:09:28,825 Look, you gotta help me. I have to get off Jockey shorts. 176 00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:31,333 - What, you have low sperm count? - Very low. 177 00:09:31,504 --> 00:09:33,267 - Come on, take them. - I don't want them. 178 00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:37,170 Jerry, look, you gotta help. If I have one pair in my house, I'll wear them. 179 00:09:37,343 --> 00:09:39,607 - I don't want them. - All it takes is one pair. 180 00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:42,339 I'm not gonna be able to sleep if those are in the house. 181 00:09:42,515 --> 00:09:44,540 Boxers! How do you wear these things? 182 00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:47,242 Look at that. They're bagging up. They're rising here. 183 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,583 And there's nothing holding me in place. I'm flipping, I'm flopping. 184 00:09:53,292 --> 00:09:54,953 What am I gonna do? 185 00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:57,925 Jerry, I'm going crazy in these things. 186 00:10:04,403 --> 00:10:06,928 Well, I'm gonna have to move now. 187 00:10:09,241 --> 00:10:11,209 You know what I like about Manattan? 188 00:10:12,311 --> 00:10:13,903 There's no mosquitoes. 189 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,445 There's plenty of mosquitoes. 190 00:10:16,749 --> 00:10:18,410 Queens is full of mosquitoes. 191 00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:23,044 - So, Dad... - Gnats, too, if I'm not mistaken. 192 00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:28,456 Heard you were in the city the other day. 193 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:32,291 Your mother has to tell you every move I make? I'll kill her. 194 00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,966 - Jerry and Elaine saw you. - They didn't say hello? 195 00:10:37,136 --> 00:10:40,128 - They were in a rush. - They couldn't just say hello? 196 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:42,297 Ah, the hell with them. 197 00:10:42,875 --> 00:10:47,141 They said you were with some guy who was wearing a cape. 198 00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:49,577 Elaine, I can see not saying hello. 199 00:10:49,749 --> 00:10:53,241 She's very... What's the word? Supercilious. 200 00:10:53,419 --> 00:10:56,980 - So, Dad... - How could Jerry not say hello? 201 00:11:01,093 --> 00:11:03,857 - Did they uncross the lines yet? - They can't find the problem. 202 00:11:04,030 --> 00:11:05,395 It's really getting ridicurous. 203 00:11:27,053 --> 00:11:29,351 Did you say "ridicurous"? 204 00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:31,117 Ridiculous. 205 00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:35,386 I thought you said... 206 00:11:35,561 --> 00:11:37,358 ...ridicurous. 207 00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:42,264 Hey, what are you doing here? 208 00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:44,926 I wanted to talk to you. I didn't know you had company. 209 00:11:45,104 --> 00:11:46,969 - Oh, no, no. - Hi, I'm George. 210 00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:50,108 - Oh, hi. - I'm Donna Chang. 211 00:11:52,845 --> 00:11:54,813 I just spoke to your mother before. 212 00:11:55,514 --> 00:11:58,745 - You spoke to my mother? - She was trying to call you, but... 213 00:11:58,918 --> 00:12:00,715 The rines are crossed. 214 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,656 Did you say the "rines" are crossed? 215 00:12:05,691 --> 00:12:07,215 Did I? 216 00:12:08,461 --> 00:12:11,259 George, she's so sweet. We talked for an hour. 217 00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:13,227 Anyway, I'm really sorry. 218 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,959 Sorry, why sorry? What do you have to be sorry about? 219 00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:19,502 Well, she told me she and your father are getting divorced. 220 00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:37,516 Boy, divorced. That's really too bad. 221 00:12:37,690 --> 00:12:39,555 Yeah. You know, it's a shame his parents... 222 00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:42,193 ...didn't get divorced 30 years ago. 223 00:12:42,862 --> 00:12:45,160 He could've been normal. 224 00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:47,897 Oh, my God! 225 00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,396 You know what I just realized? 226 00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:53,265 If they get divorced and live in two separate places... 227 00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,600 ...that's twice as many visits. 228 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,140 I never thought of that. 229 00:12:57,309 --> 00:12:59,607 Imagine if I had to see them both on the same day. 230 00:12:59,779 --> 00:13:02,509 It's like running a double marathon. 231 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:06,816 Hey, Georgie, did you have any idea that anything was wrong? 232 00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:09,978 Have you ever spent any time with these people? 233 00:13:12,324 --> 00:13:14,485 - You know what this has to do with? - What? 234 00:13:14,660 --> 00:13:18,096 The man in the cape. I bet you he is mixed up in this. 235 00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:20,832 I don't trust men in capes. 236 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,797 You can't cast dispersions on someone... 237 00:13:22,968 --> 00:13:25,027 ...just because they're wearing a cape. 238 00:13:25,204 --> 00:13:27,502 Superman wore a cape. 239 00:13:27,673 --> 00:13:29,971 And I'll be damned if I'm gonna stand here... 240 00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:32,337 ...and let you say something bad about him. 241 00:13:33,078 --> 00:13:35,103 All right, Supermars the exception. 242 00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,720 Hey, Elaine, I just heard that Noreen and Paul are breaking up. 243 00:13:41,887 --> 00:13:43,684 I want you to put in a good word for me. 244 00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:45,255 Always had a thing for Noreen. 245 00:13:45,424 --> 00:13:48,222 No, Kramer, you don't understand, this could be my fault. 246 00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:52,330 Well, if she's available, I won't let her slip through my fingers this time. 247 00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:57,429 Well, looks like you've adjusted to the boxers. 248 00:13:57,603 --> 00:13:59,434 Well, I wouldn't go as far as that. 249 00:13:59,605 --> 00:14:02,574 - You went back to the Jockeys? - Wrong again. 250 00:14:04,009 --> 00:14:05,977 Oh, no. 251 00:14:09,849 --> 00:14:11,612 What? What? 252 00:14:12,051 --> 00:14:14,849 Don't you see what's going on here? 253 00:14:15,321 --> 00:14:17,448 No boxers, no Jockeys. 254 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:25,253 The only thing between him and us is a thin layer of gabardine. 255 00:14:26,465 --> 00:14:28,524 - Kramer, say it isn't so. - Oh, it be so. 256 00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:34,195 I'm out there, Jerry, and I'm loving every minute of it! 257 00:14:38,544 --> 00:14:40,239 Don't you need a little help? 258 00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:41,709 Surprisingly, no. 259 00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,781 I'm free. I'm unfettered. 260 00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:50,047 I feel like a naked, innocent boy roaming the countryside. 261 00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:54,391 So you guys are trying to work it out. That's great. 262 00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:58,929 Yeah, well, we're trying, but he just went insane there for a while. 263 00:14:59,098 --> 00:15:00,793 He went insane? 264 00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:02,627 Believe it or not... 265 00:15:02,801 --> 00:15:04,860 ...Paul was convinced I was having an affair... 266 00:15:05,037 --> 00:15:08,131 ...because somebody kept calling and hanging up whenever he answered. 267 00:15:09,108 --> 00:15:13,738 What kind of a sick person calls and hangs up over and over? 268 00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:15,978 Well... 269 00:15:16,148 --> 00:15:17,843 ...I don't know about sick. 270 00:15:18,017 --> 00:15:21,009 I mean, maybe it was somebody... 271 00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:23,882 ...who didn't wanna talk to whoever was answering... 272 00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:27,753 ...because whoever was answering was always making boring chit-chat... 273 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:30,191 ...and was completely oblivious to the fact... 274 00:15:30,362 --> 00:15:34,856 ...that the person who was calling didn't wanna speak to them. 275 00:15:38,237 --> 00:15:42,139 I can't believe that was you. 276 00:15:42,541 --> 00:15:44,771 I'm really sorry, Noreen. 277 00:15:45,678 --> 00:15:47,839 So you thought he was boring? 278 00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:51,483 Hey, Noreen, don't go by me. 279 00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:55,853 What are you doing to this woman? 280 00:15:56,322 --> 00:16:00,315 This is the second relationship you've ruined for her in a few weeks. 281 00:16:01,026 --> 00:16:02,960 - I know. - First you ruin her relationship... 282 00:16:03,128 --> 00:16:05,926 ...with the high-talker. - Well, I got confused. 283 00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:07,690 They sound exactly the same. 284 00:16:07,866 --> 00:16:09,299 So she breaks up with him. 285 00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:11,629 Somehow picks up the pieces of her life... 286 00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,864 ...miraculously meets a new guy. 287 00:16:15,040 --> 00:16:17,474 You bust that up. 288 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:22,012 And then just as they're reconciling, you announce to the world... 289 00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:24,809 ...he's boring. 290 00:16:25,851 --> 00:16:27,876 I didn't know she'd take it so seriously. 291 00:16:28,053 --> 00:16:30,715 Apparently, you have a tremendous influence over this woman. 292 00:16:30,889 --> 00:16:32,982 Anything you say, she does. 293 00:16:35,327 --> 00:16:36,794 - Yeah? - It's Donna Chang. 294 00:16:36,962 --> 00:16:40,295 - Come on up. - I guess I just didn't realize it. 295 00:16:40,466 --> 00:16:42,900 Well, let's look back at your history with this woman. 296 00:16:43,068 --> 00:16:45,161 - Okay? - Okay. 297 00:16:45,337 --> 00:16:49,603 First, you encouraged her to join the army. 298 00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:52,104 She did. 299 00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:53,904 She was lost. 300 00:16:54,079 --> 00:16:57,207 Then you suggest she goes AWOL. 301 00:16:57,383 --> 00:17:00,045 She did. 302 00:17:00,219 --> 00:17:02,278 Well, she didn't seem to be having so much fun. 303 00:17:02,454 --> 00:17:05,753 Make sure you never tell this woman to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge. 304 00:17:05,924 --> 00:17:08,916 If I have this much influence, I'll call her and tell her... 305 00:17:09,094 --> 00:17:10,891 ...to get back together with him. 306 00:17:11,630 --> 00:17:13,393 - Hey. - Oh, Miss Changstein. 307 00:17:13,565 --> 00:17:16,363 - This is Elaine. - Hi. How are you? 308 00:17:16,535 --> 00:17:18,469 Guess what? Mrs. Costanza called me. 309 00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:21,231 - They're not getting divorced. - Why, what happened? 310 00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:23,841 She was trying to call George last night, she got me... 311 00:17:24,009 --> 00:17:26,273 ...we spoke for an hour, and she changed her mind. 312 00:17:26,445 --> 00:17:29,039 - Wow, that's amazing. - Anyway, she wants to meet me. 313 00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:31,739 She invited me over for dinner. Said you should come too. 314 00:17:31,917 --> 00:17:33,043 - Tonight? - Yeah. 315 00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:37,279 I just remembered. I'm gonna have to cancel my acupuncture class. 316 00:17:45,264 --> 00:17:47,425 All right, let me just say one thing. 317 00:17:47,599 --> 00:17:50,159 There is no way that this is gonna happen. No way! 318 00:17:50,335 --> 00:17:52,735 Because if you think I'm going to two Thanksgivings... 319 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,429 ...you're out of your mind! 320 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,803 - We're not getting divorced. - Your mother changed her mind. 321 00:17:57,976 --> 00:18:01,070 You did? That's good. That's very good. 322 00:18:01,246 --> 00:18:03,737 - I'm very glad to hear that. - Yeah, we worked it out. 323 00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:06,976 All right, so let me ask you a question. Who was the man in the cape? 324 00:18:07,152 --> 00:18:10,349 - He was my lawyer. - Your lawyer wears a cape? 325 00:18:10,522 --> 00:18:12,251 Yeah. So what? 326 00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:15,086 - Who wears a cape? - He's very independent. 327 00:18:15,260 --> 00:18:16,852 He doesn't follow the trends. 328 00:18:17,529 --> 00:18:19,861 He looks ridiculous in that thing. 329 00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:21,363 You have no eye for fashion! 330 00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:24,001 - I have no eye for fashion? - All right. 331 00:18:24,169 --> 00:18:27,696 Come on. Let's not fight. 332 00:18:27,873 --> 00:18:29,636 - All right, all right. - All right. 333 00:18:29,808 --> 00:18:31,776 Georgie's right. 334 00:18:32,978 --> 00:18:34,809 So, what made you change your mind? 335 00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:38,211 It was that Chinese woman. 336 00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:42,777 What did you tell Mrs. Costanza that changed her mind? 337 00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:45,719 Mentioned a few bits of wisdom from Confucius. 338 00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:47,859 - Confucius, huh? - Yeah. 339 00:18:49,094 --> 00:18:51,688 You know, you're not Chinese. 340 00:18:56,135 --> 00:18:57,500 Hey, I heard the good news. 341 00:18:57,669 --> 00:19:01,105 Jerry, how come you didn't say hello to me the other day? 342 00:19:01,273 --> 00:19:04,572 - Elaine was in a rush. - I knew it was Elaine. 343 00:19:06,011 --> 00:19:09,378 - You must be Estelle. - Yes. Who are you? 344 00:19:09,548 --> 00:19:10,708 I'm Donna Chang. 345 00:19:11,250 --> 00:19:13,582 You're not Chinese. 346 00:19:17,122 --> 00:19:18,384 Hello? 347 00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:20,422 - Paul? - Elaine. 348 00:19:20,759 --> 00:19:22,522 Kramer? 349 00:19:22,694 --> 00:19:24,662 Yeah! 350 00:19:26,231 --> 00:19:29,166 - What are you doing there? - Well, isn't it obvious? 351 00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:34,402 - Is Noreen there? - Yes, she is. 352 00:19:34,573 --> 00:19:37,235 Well, can I talk to her? 353 00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:39,773 What, am I too boring for you? 354 00:19:40,913 --> 00:19:42,210 Would you just put her on? 355 00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:45,680 I feel it would be best that you didn't talk to Noreen for a while. 356 00:19:45,851 --> 00:19:47,785 - You feel? - That's right. 357 00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:50,114 She and I have had a very long talk. 358 00:19:50,289 --> 00:19:53,156 And I was appalled to learn of the destructive influence... 359 00:19:53,325 --> 00:19:57,421 ...you've had over her life Io these many years. 360 00:19:57,596 --> 00:20:01,532 - What, are you insane? - From now on, I'll be calling the shots. 361 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:04,032 And what are you gonna tell her? 362 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:07,604 Well, I've encouraged her to go back into the army. 363 00:20:08,140 --> 00:20:11,803 There she'll get the structure and discipline she needs right now. 364 00:20:11,977 --> 00:20:16,209 And she'll have qualified officers telling her what to do. 365 00:20:16,949 --> 00:20:19,816 Kramer, you have got to let me talk to her. 366 00:20:19,985 --> 00:20:21,748 Can't help you, kid. 367 00:20:22,254 --> 00:20:24,814 - You're not Chinese? - No. 368 00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:27,788 - I thought you were Chinese. - I'm from Long Island. 369 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:29,621 Long Island? 370 00:20:29,795 --> 00:20:32,958 I thought I was getting advice from a Chinese woman. 371 00:20:33,131 --> 00:20:36,157 - I'm sorry. - Well, then... 372 00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:39,634 ...that changes everything. - What? 373 00:20:39,805 --> 00:20:43,036 She's not Chinese. I was duped! 374 00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,839 So what? She still gave you advice. 375 00:20:46,011 --> 00:20:47,478 What's the difference? 376 00:20:47,646 --> 00:20:51,343 I'm not taking advice from some girl from Long Island. 377 00:20:51,683 --> 00:20:54,652 Now you're getting a divorce because she's from Long Island? 378 00:20:54,820 --> 00:20:57,914 You want a divorce? You got one! 379 00:20:59,491 --> 00:21:02,858 You know, you might wanna think about changing your name. 380 00:21:03,362 --> 00:21:06,195 Ever since she started dating Kramer, she won't even talk to me. 381 00:21:06,365 --> 00:21:07,730 Well, Noreen listened to you... 382 00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:10,561 ...like George's mother listened to the Chinese. 383 00:21:10,736 --> 00:21:14,001 Everybody listens to the Chinese. Look at the fortune cookie. 384 00:21:14,172 --> 00:21:16,538 You couldn't get away with that at other restaurants. 385 00:21:16,708 --> 00:21:19,506 Yeah, no one's reading any rolled up messages in a knish. 386 00:21:21,146 --> 00:21:25,173 Well, it had to happen. I knew it. I predicted it. 387 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:28,545 Saw both of them today. What a disaster. 388 00:21:29,421 --> 00:21:31,013 I'm running all over Queens. 389 00:21:31,189 --> 00:21:33,282 First, I saw my mother. We had lunch together. 390 00:21:33,458 --> 00:21:36,450 I never had lunch with my mother before. It's like a date. 391 00:21:36,628 --> 00:21:39,893 Then we drive down to Kew Gardens, tons of traffic, I see my father. 392 00:21:40,065 --> 00:21:41,760 We played Clue. 393 00:21:41,933 --> 00:21:43,230 All day with this! 394 00:21:43,402 --> 00:21:45,370 Hey, Jerry! Guess what? 395 00:21:45,537 --> 00:21:47,835 The Kramer name might live on! 396 00:21:48,006 --> 00:21:49,439 Noreers late! 397 00:21:49,608 --> 00:21:52,509 She's late! 398 00:22:18,603 --> 00:22:21,538 - Who are you? - I'm Frank Costanza's lawyer. 399 00:22:22,538 --> 00:22:32,538 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 31110

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