Original subtitles

[chuckles softly]

Ooh, give me.

Whatever! You know, you better be careful

I might just leave you for your buddy Jughead.

-Original. -[laughs]

Does that mean you're Betty?

You know, I'm Veronica.

Well, you see Jughead, tell him I stole his cigarette.

[gasps]

You better be careful Archie.

I heard Jughead doesn't like thieves.

[chuckles]

[fly buzzes]

Seriously, you're not going to give me one?

Come on.

[man 1] Psychopomps are entities whose role is not to charge the deceased,

but to guide them to their final destination in the afterlife.

[suspenseful music playing]

[man 2] You know, Archie, your grandma gave me these binoculars

-and she said they were magical. -[Archie] Really?

Yep, she said that sometimes if you are you looking through them

that you can see the spirits of your loved ones.

-[Archie] Do you see grandma? -[man 2] Nope, all I can see is birds.

[tranquil music playing]

[distorted voice] Who are you?

Where are we?

Very nice.

-Where are we? -[clears throat]

[laughs]

[calm music playing]

[laughs]

[suspenseful music playing]

[man 3] Archie, I need you to close your eyes for me.

We're going to do an exercise to put you back into those dreams you've been having.

Take a deep breath.

Relax your mind.

What do you see?

Tell me what you dreamed.

I'm standing in a sketchy restroom.

I walk into the room.

I hear a electric buzzing sound behind me.

[electricity buzzing]

I turn around.

-[sighs] -Keep going.

I hear a woman scream.

[screams]

I want to help her...

but it's blocking the doorway.

It's blocking the doorway.

[shivers]

I see bugs coming out of a TV screen.

[sobs] They're coming for me.

-They're coming for me! -[man 3] Archie.

Open your eyes.

Birdie.

[man 3] Who's Birdie?

You have amnesia,

but your subconscious is trying to help you remember.

You should go back to these places you're seeing in your mind

and maybe they'll trigger your memory.

[suspenseful music playing]

[trolley clattering]

I got a special ticket just for you.

[laughs]

Hi, Archie. I'm Dr. Dunn.

We have to talk.

That ticket you got there that's for a free meal and for a free trip.

[car engine revs]

Time to eat, Archie.

We made some food for you.

[clock ticking]

Archie, the reason I brought you here is to enlighten you.

This meal is specially formulated for you.

You've been walking around like a zombie since your unfortunate event.

I can help you.

We can help you.

All you have to do is eat your food.

Then you'll know what's what.

Isn't that what we all want to know?

Where we come from? Where we go when the curtains go down?

We're born into a question mark and then we're just left here with no answers to anything.

We flood our youth with vanity

and our old age is filled with fear of the unknown.

That's how you feel, right?

You want to know what happened.

Well, now you can.

It's time to eat.

It's time to take that final ride.

Eat your food, Archie Finch.

[Archie] I can't.

I'm sure I'll be hungry soon.

[clock continues ticking]

Okay...

another meal's always around the corner.

Into the kitchen we go, where we end up nobody knows.

[Archie groaning]

Do you know the muffin-man The muffin-man?

Do you know the muffin-man Who lives on Drury Lane?

[screams]

-[alarm beeping] -[gasps]]

[knocking]

[Mary] Be right there.

Archie!

Come on in.

Come on in, Archie. I'll be right there.

[suspenseful music playing]

[electricity buzzing]

[groaning]

[distorted voices]

[Mary] Archie, you don't look so good.

So how's your memory?

Do you remember anything new?

It's like all the puzzle pieces are out there...

but I... just can't find it.

It's like I'm blind...

and I just can't see them.

I'm here for you not just as your assistant, but as your friend.

You were once there for me during a hard time and I want to be there for you also.

Hey, it'll... it'll come back to you.

Here they are.

All your contacts.

Now I can find Ed.

[sighs]

Got to say...

you're not the Archie I remember very well.

I don't remember you at all

but I'm told that you're key to my success.

One of the keys, definitely the skeleton key.

[Kim laughs] You got that right, Ed. You're definitely a skeleton.

I keep telling him to eat some steak and egg, all he wants is coffee, coffee, coffee.

[Ed] If I don't have coffee and chokes, I'm living in the land of the dead here, Kim.

[chuckles] Ain't we all?

[sighs]

This is the guy that's going to find your film.

[chuckles softly]

It's just a stand-in.

And this is his girlfriend.

She wants to be the lead actress in your film

and if you let her her boyfriend will fund the whole movie.

[Archie] He'll fund the whole film?

Yes, and I bet he'd throw a really good wrap party like a cowboy on his own dime.

Hmm.

Oh, my doctor says that if I get back to doing things

that I have been doing before,

maybe I'll start to remember something in my past.

Sounds like a yes to me.

Oh, yeah.

Hmm, attaboy, Arch.

Oh, one more thing I forgot to mention.

His girlfriend is, um...

a little like out there.

-How so? -She sees things.

Things?

Yeah, but she's on some crazy shit that makes you go bye-bye.

[scoffs] I could use some crazy shit.

I've been experiencing some weird things lately myself.

Really? Like what?

I don't know. Maybe this amnesia thing...

but... [sighs]

anyway.

-Let's make a movie. -Attaboy, Arch.

To our lead actress.

A star is born.

-[woman 1] You thirsty? -Not today.

And what have you been busying yourself with?

Well, to be completely honest...

I've been losing chunks of time.

You can't expect for your brain to be in tip-top shape after what happened to you, Archie.

Yeah, I know.

I don't even remember how I got here.

Maybe seeing some things from your past will jog your memory.

Actually, there was one thing I was hoping to take a look at.

Do you still have that belt buckle dad left me?

Ah, so you do remember something.

[suspenseful music playing]

[man 4] Look! Look deep.

Deeper.

Think about what's down there.

What's been there for ages.

No one knows.

Before the dinosaurs, this was here.

So dark, so deep, so many things hidden,

we'll never know, we'll never ever know.

Just think about it.

Imagine what could be there.

Search your mind. Every little crevice.

Search. Deeper.

Deeper.

Yes, you see it.

You begin to see. Yes, yes.

I can tell. [laughs] Yes, you found it.

Ah, I can tell. I can feel it myself.

Oh! Oh, yes.

Wonder of wonders, it's there. It's there.

I see it in your eye, windows to the soul.

You can't hide a thing.

[phone ringing]

[gasps]

[breathing heavily]

[dance music playing]

[man 5] I think I can get behind that. I'll see you there.

Like clockwork, you always seem to bring my drink right when I need it,

fulfilling a woman's duty to servitude.

That's not very nice.

[choking]

[thuds]

How can I help you?

[Archie] What just happened?

Call it performance art.

I see you don't have any clocks in this place.

Do you happen to have the time?

[scoffs]

We don't have the time, but we do have a phone.

Use that card.

Can I get you a drink, young man?

[Archie] I'll take a martini.

Coming right up.

[tranquil music playing]

There we go. A warm belly is nice, like a warm bed or a warm lady for that matter.

How you doing, Son?

[Archie] Do you happen to have the time?

[man 6] This man wants to know if I have the time.

[laughing]

Piss on time.

Here at the Evil Olive...

we leave time at the door.

Look, I didn't mean any disrespect.

It's just I've been waiting here for someone over an hour.

I just feel like I've been here much longer.

[telephone rings]

Yeah, she's here.

She stopped that.

Now let's see if I can get this rogue soul to realize his destiny.

[chuckles softly]

Why don't you spend your time downstairs in our VIP room, wait for your friend Ed there.

[tense music playing]

[distorted voice]

[suspenseful music playing]

-Archie. -Yeah.

I'm Thana. Ed sent me. He couldn't make it.

Thought you might need the company.

Oh.

He insisted.

-Everything okay? -Yeah, uh, he's fine.

-I'll get us some drinks. -No need.

I ordered us a few drinks.

You get the next round.

[low beat music playing]

What's this drink called?

"A Short Trip to Hell."

[suspenseful music playing]

Someone is as serious as the plague up in here.

It's just a rum and Coke.

I take it you're the type of guy that fancies a simple drink, like a rum and Coke.

I guess you'd be right.

What's your favorite drink of choice?

Dirty whore's bath water. Classic drink.

[laughs]

You want to see my head spin around, order me that second drink.

Yes, Ma'am.

[low beat music playing]

Get the lady an exorcist.

[groans]

[coughs]

[groans]

Oh, I felt that one.

One of my favorites.

[groaning]

You poisoned me.

[suspenseful music playing]

[laughter echoing]

[car rumbling]

I know. I know. You'll be fine.

We just have to get you home.

I'm flying like a thousand bats here, babe.

Don't get your panties in a bunch.

[Archie] I feel sick.

[Thana] I know it was a long night.

I have heard that morning sickness is never fun.

Now let's get you to bed.

Please, I need some stomach medicine.

Anything. Give me something.

I've got something, but it will take you out of this world.

Do you accept that?

It'll take away all the pain.

Yes, the pain is killing me.

[low beat music playing]

Eat up.

It's the only way to cure your agony.

[breathing heavily]

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you.

I need you to finish your food, Archie.

Don't be ungrateful. Finish your food.

It's for your health.

[Archie] Is that human blood?

Eat your fucking food.

[Archie] Ah!

[Archie groaning and coughing]

[retching]

[panting]

[tense music playing]

Oh, so you're the camera. Let me take a look in there.

[electronic buzzing]

[woman 2] Archie!

[distorted voice] You're coming with us.

-[Ed] Look, Arch, we need to talk. -Where have you been?

No, no, no, man.

Who's that psycho bitch, Thana?

Look, man, you know this industry, they're off their rockers.

I got caught up that night. I got a little drunk, sorry.

[Archie] She started poisoning me.

Started feeding me blood.

That's ten miles from the rocker, Ed.

What the fuck!

Look, I don't know these people.

We don't know these people.

That's just how things are, man.

What you need to worry about, Archie Finch,

is getting back into the director's chair, back in the zone.

Everything else, man, will take care of itself.

Yeah.

I guess.

It all remains to be seen.

[door opens then closes]

[Archie] Hey! Any of you know where to get a...

[Retrovision] There's a lighter in your pocket.

Burn the airplane. Hurry up.

You're being watched.

Once inside Hardy's house,

go up the first set of stairs, knock on the door at the top.

[crows cawing]

[knocks]

[suspenseful music playing]

Hardy walks, you follow.

[somber music playing]

[cackling]

[ringing]

[Rita] Hello.

Hi.

Come look at my dollhouse.

He's been stuck on the second floor for quite some time.

It's been a thousand years, if you measure it in human years.

That's a bit.

Upstairs or downstairs, he can't seem to make up his mind.

Careful, you might fall in.

[snickers]

Right, I wouldn't want that.

Why can't he go up to the third floor?

Well, you can't make anyone do anything.

Archie.

How'd you know my name?

[giggles]

There's this thing that he does that I can't quite figure out,

but... but maybe you can help me figure it out.

-What does he do? -Come, come.

[knocking on door]

[laughs]

I got to go.

Yes, you do.

But, hmm...

is it upstairs or down?

[giggles]

What is he doing here?

-Done. Done, look, I'm done. -[woman 3] You lost. You lost.

Come sit.

Sit with Hardy.

So, why does a man feel the need to carry a little killing machine on his person?

Oh! Well, yeah, that's right, protection.

Well, allow me to provide you with your new best friend.

Open the box.

[box creaks open.]

Ah, I think I see what ails you.

A woman can get a fella into all sorts of trouble.

For instance, a woman scorned or a damsel in distress.

You ever rescued a damsel in distress?

Anyways, I thought I should tell you,

some guy used his gun to kill his own self.

He killed himself good, real good, over a dame.

Even worse it was a gift given to him by a dear friend,

but I got it now, it works and it's for sale.

Consider that your new King Kong,

just in case you're the, uh, damsel in distress.

Now, let's get you out of here.

[dramatic music playing]

[man 7] Pull over.

You guys have been following me since 1983.

It seems.

Oh, like a couple of time cops, huh?

[laughs] I like that.

You're Archibald Finch?

Yup.

The director of low-budget trash, Archibald Finch.

What can I help you guys with?

Ah, just some normal stuff. Murder.

Got enemies, Archie?

I don't know.

I have amnesia.

Oh, so he might have enemies

but he just don't remember, huh.

This is so weird. I mean brain injuries.

Just all mysterious, you know...

makes us think how much like them goddamn bots we really are.

You know I'm starting to think we're actually in a simulation, Detective James.

Oh, oh, Pete. Look, oh, oh, I'm glitching.

Oh, oh. I'm all Android, baby.

[laughs]

-Mm. Mm. Mm. -I'm more of an Apple guy.

You've bitten into any, uh, rotten apples, Archie?

Women can be rotten apples, too, right?

Both sour and sweet.

Some are even occupied by that little worm.

But that's never stopped you, has it, Archie?

You know, sometimes we even bite into that nasty little seed.

And what is that seed filled with?

Cyanide.

[both laugh]

Man.

We're just messing with you, man.

It will take a whole lot of, uh, apple worms and cyanide seeds to kill a human, right?

But only one woman.

[snickers]

Here's the business, Archie.

Someone tried to do a hit on you, but...

only he survived.

Why would someone want to do that to you?

[Pete] Yeah.

I honestly don't know.

[Pete] We think you do know.

We think you're using this amnesia as an excuse to forget something you regret doing.

[James] Yeah, like banging your financier's lady,

who's also supposed to be the star of your film.

[Pete] Whoa! The plot thickens.

-Who is she? -[Pete] You mean who was she?

She's dead. Her boyfriend did it.

Boy what kind of mess he did on her, you know.

Cut her every which way.

-Only the bastard demon have the guts to do it himself. -[clicking tongue]

[dramatic music playing]

[Electronic buzzing]

[distorted voices]

[woman 4] Archie, they're after you, baby.

Listen to me, you have two paths, Archie.

You have to choose the right one.

You don't want to go with them. They can't be trusted.

Those weren't cops.

Don't fall for their tricks.

Go to the El Rancho Motel tonight and you will remember me.

[gasps] [distorted voice] Tonight, you're coming with us.

Fuck!

[gunshot]

Oh, ooh fuck!

[laughing]

You can't kill me, you fool.

[laughing]

[electronic buzzing]

[Retrovision] Wake up, Archie.

We have been searching for you for so long,

but this is your chance.

This is your chance to finally be set free.

Open your mind.

[imitating monkey chattering]

[Thana] This is how you kill a birdie.

Get her in the tub.

Action.

[Birdie whimpers]

[snarls]

Jughead wants his cigarettes back.

-You see Jughead, tell him I stole his cigarette. -[gasps]

[Archie] Birdie.

[Thana] Fuck!

[Retrovision] Watch closely, Archie. This is how you died.

I really thought the birds understood my chirps.

My dad said, "Anne you spend all your time talking to the damn birds,

-you should have been born with a beak." -[chuckles softly]

So he gave me the nickname Birdie Anne and it kind of stuck, I guess.

Well, she doesn't have a beak, but I'll tell you one thing,

she's got superb acting skills and she's ready to fly all over Hollywood.

Now, what's the name of this flick?

-The film is called Retrovision. -Oh, wow.

-[Wren] Retrovision? -[Birdie] I like that.

Weird title, but, hey, if it's good.

Well, I, for one, think the title is very unique.

We read it and I am...

um, we're real excited about the role I'll be playing.

We had a problem with the love scene though.

We would like you to make it a bit more suggestive.

I'm not too comfortable seeing my little Birdie acting in a provocative way.

[chuckles] Wren's a jealous boyfriend.

Look, I'll do whatever is necessary to be in your film

as long as it's done in an artistic way.

Oh, yeah. Sure. Very classy.

Well, I'm the one with the cash cannon shooting dollar bills around,

so this better be a professional shoot.

I don't want to find out I was funding a porno,

but anything for my little Birdie.

If she wants to be an actress, so be it.

So, do I got the part?

-You got the part. -Yay!

-To the big time. -[chuckles softly]

[clears throat]

So, Mr. Archie, when you become a big film director

will you let it be known all over Tinseltown that Wren made you who you are?

I'll shout it from the rooftops.

[all chuckle]

Maybe we'll make a Wren biopic one day,

about a self-made--

[screams]

What's wrong with her?

Hey, hey, hey. Shh, shh. No, no, no, no. It's okay. It's okay.

There's nothing to be scared of. There's nothing there, okay.

Hush little Birdie, don't say a word.

Poppa's going to buy you a role in a movie.

What's happening? Is...

she getting into character or...?

This will kill me.

Honey, no, no. Never, never.

You're mine.

I'll never let anyone hurt you, not even me.

Ed, Ed will be calling you to...

work out the legal stuff.

[Birdie] They say I can play the part.

Who are they?

[Wren] Babe, he already knows that.

I'll let you do anything you want if it makes you happy.

Of course, you can play the part.

[suspenseful music playing]

[sighs]

Can I tell you a story, Archie?

Yeah, sure.

Let's call it the unfortunate bad fortune of Dr. Mind Fuck.

-Sounds like a knockoff. -[laughs] Oh, you'll like him.

There once was a shrink named Dr. Mind Fuck,

who was treating a certain woman with a mental disorder.

She started seeing things that weren't there like this bug that talks to her.

So the doctor decided to help her

and she believed that he can make this bug go away.

But the bug had already planted its roots into her beautiful mind

and the doc's experiments, they made her much worse.

Her true love knew this and he just had to stop this evil doc.

One day Dr. Fr... I mean Dr. Mind Fuck

went on a fishing trip.

He had an accident and just like that he became the fish food.

Don't be like Dr. Mind Fuck.

I... I would... Never.

Good and keep it professional with my Birdie.

Maybe then you won't become another cautionary tale.

[suspenseful music playing]

[birds chirping]

There you go.

I know. I know.

Look, calm down, Ed.

He turns out to be a reptilian humanoid, we always have Donnie the investor.

[Wren] So, let's talk.

Ed said that you want 80% ownership of my film.

100, I want 100% ownership of your film

and fuck Ed, this is all about you and me.

100%!

What the hell are you talking about?

So, here's the spill.

I want to fund your movie and then shelf it.

[scoffs]

[Archie] You're fucking with me, right?

No, no. I know what you're thinking.

Why would I want to shelf my film?

[laughs]

Of course, you'd ask that, you poor little man.

-Well, here it is, Birdie is addicting. -[Birdie] Sighs.

She's my...

I don't know, crack, but she has left me before it.

Well, I can't have that, Archie.

I need my control back.

How would shelfing my film help you with that?

If I own the film, I own her.

She doesn't have to know the film is shelved.

I'm her manager and her agent.

As far as she knows I'm just shopping around town like a hungry shark.

Plus, she needs something to do to keep her sane, saner.

But you're not going to shop it?

Maybe at some point...

but until then

I'm just going to dangle your script like a carrot on a stick.

You're out of your fucking mind,

if you think I'm going to give up my film,

so you can play your sick twisted game with your girlfriend.

What do I look like to you? A goddamn circus monkey?

[cackling]

Hold that thought, Curious George.

Big Pie give me a call if you change your mind, okay.

[clapping]

Hey, yo, Tony. Hurry it up.

Come on, come on, come on. Uh...

Really? Really?

[suspenseful music playing]

[cellphone vibrates]

[Wren] Big Pie, hey. How've you been?

I'm sorry I didn't quite catch that.

You sound like you've got a cold.

Your voice seems a little hoarse.

Change of heart, really?

You know what? You don't need to answer that.

You're a sensible guy. I know.

Okay, we will talk soon though, okay?

Oh, and for your sore throat...

-[inaudible] -[choking]

[laughs]

Oh, I sure hope Big Pie gets well real soon.

So tomorrow night I'm hosting this gentleman's party.

You should come. We are making a flick after all.

It'll be at my friend's place and it has an underground dungeon.

We'll celebrate and party like rock stars before we burn out.

Tell you what? Rip up the check and walk away or cash it.

I'll be checking my bank account to see your decision.

When's the last time you ever got fifty thousand dollars for being a director, let alone 50.

Think about it and maybe then I'll see you at my little shindig tomorrow night.

One more thing, when you do show up could you bring your video camera with you?

I've got something I want you to record for me.

It'll be real special.

Can you do this for me?

I got this sneaking little feeling you'll make a special appearance.

[Mary] I need to talk to you.

What's going on?

I can't get a hold of Ed.

It's not like him.

I think something's wrong.

Tell me what happened?

Ed, he got a call from an investor, Donnie.

He was so excited. This was yesterday afternoon.

Donnie said yes, he wants to fund your guys' movie, the whole bit.

There's no way he wouldn't have called you by now.

[sighs]

Damn it, Ed.

It's Wren.

I knew it. He's a fucking maniac.

Oh, dear.

What'd you guys get yourselves into?

I know.

Wren told me this cautionary tale.

It alluded to the fact that if I ever crossed him, he would kill me.

What are you going to do?

Look...

just keep calling Ed.

Call Donnie, too.

Tell him...

I still want to make the Retrovisionfilm.

I'm ending this deal.

One more thing...

look up any shrinks that might have gone missing...

that they're in... on a fishing trip.

Okay.

Look, Archie.

My dad, he's a big gun guy

and he insists on me having an arsenal just in case the world ends.

There's a gun in here.

Just in case.

♪ I was strolling in the dark

♪ Till I found a street With a spark ♪

♪ And then I got really hungry

♪ Hungry enough To slay the sheep ♪

♪ And drink its blood

[gunshot]

[Mary over phone] Hey, Archie. I got some news.

It seems that Dr. Fred Reed recently died in a boating accident while fishing.

[Pete] He threatened Fred to stop treating Birdie's mental state,

but she kept having hallucinations of an insect that spoke to her.

I'm only here for you to face your fears, buddy,

which happens to be death and I get paid for it.

My brother was very intrigued by the case.

He wanted to help her, so he started treating her.

How would you like, I tell you a story to calm you down before I fucking kill you.

Wren, he put a stop to all that.

He kept showing up at the grocery store, the parking lot.

That's the end of the story except for the fact that we got some boots for you.

We bought you boots.

You're going to wear these boots and you're going to go swimming. Huh?

He came in with a film script.

It was entitled the Dead Shrinkin bold font right on the cover.

He started reading it out loud

and it was about a corrupt psychiatrist

that was messing with the mind of an innocent girl.

You remember, when you were a kid and you'd go to sleep

and you thought there were monsters under the bed.

Well, there were. [laughs]

The last thing he said to my brother before he left

was don't steal the little sheep from the wolf.

He'll eat you. He'll eat you real good.

Wren invited me.

-[man 8] Archie. -Yeah, that's me.

Welcome to my house of pain, pleasure and whatever the hell else Wren uses it for.

Thanks for letting me in.

Hold on little, doggie.

I'll let you in the doggy door,

but, first, I need to know one thing.

How many years has that stick been stuck up your ass?

[laughs]

Relax, it's a party.

It's downstairs.

[tense music playing]

[man 9] Sit down.

[music fades]

[Wren] Gentlemen, may I please have everyone's attention.

I'm getting into the movie business.

[laughs]

Clap, clap, clap your hands director.

You are the artist.

Clap for your future works.

Gentlemen, may I introduce Archie Finch,

director extraordinaire and his leading lady, Birdie Anne.

[applause]

She will be the Marilyn Monroe of our times.

-Yes. -[man 10] How will this help our cause?

As all of us watchers here know Hollywood is the great beast.

Its tentacles reach the farthest corners of the Earth,

infecting the minds of the simple, blinding the minds of the sheeple, right?

With their corrupt ideology, morals, and ethics.

So, we must blow up this beast, slay this dragon.

What better way to do it than by infiltrating its very castle walls.

Secret societies control us like puppets,

treat us like cattle and in the end, they sell us off to the very devil himself.

But Birdie Anne will be our way in.

She will sleep in their beds, be our eyes and ears.

Marilyn slept with J.F.K.

Birdie Anne will fuck all of Hollywood to death.

[Birdie] [gasps] What?

Oh, babe. Don't look that way.

I know what that look is.

It's the bugs on my face, isn't it?

Don't worry, they are harmless.

The bug is talking to her again in her head.

Lately, it's been telling her that we humans are all insects.

Isn't that right, babe?

But we aren't insects.

We're men and we want pleasure from you.

An insect couldn't get pleasure from you, now, could it?

Well, not the kind we seek.

Gentlemen, have at our queen.

She will feed her king and her people.

Archie, did you bring your camera?

Push record.

[tense music playing]

[Archie] Get the fuck away from her.

[Wren] What? Whoa! What... what's going on?

[Archie] Birdie, come on. We have to leave now.

I am free.

[Archie] Where's Ed?

Ed? What am I, his keeper?

I don't babysit overgrown douchebags, Archie.

Now let's talk about this bad, bad thing you just did.

[laughs]

[suspenseful music playing]

Don't you dare.

Don't you even think about taking my birdie.

Put her back in her cage where she belongs.

[crying]

[grunts] For the love of... Oh, my God!

[melancholy music playing]

[breathing heavily]

[low beat music playing]

Y'all have a good day.

[crickets chirping]

[car engine revs]

[waiter] Hi, what can I get you two?

Two evil olives, please.

[waiter] Coming right up.

Ooh.

It is an evil olive, isn't it?

Yeah, you're not kidding.

Hardcore little dude.

My best friend.

She gives me sweet ignorance for a minute, but it doesn't last much longer than that.

You could be anywhere doing anything and just pop out of nowhere.

I have no control over my life because of it.

[rustling]

[somber music playing]

I don't even know who I am.

Completely and utterly consumed by this thing.

I hear these voices in my head giving me directions and I have to follow them.

It's like I don't have a choice.

The... the bug.

[distorted voice] He's right there.

Make it go away. Please make it go away.

The mysterious ace card.

Some people believe that this card represents... death.

Hmm.

-In the Vietnam War... -[coughs]

...Americans would place the ace card on enemy soldiers

to have a psychological impact when they found them.

Hmm, riveting,

but I must say, I think my trophy will knock yours out of the water.

-Oh, really? Do tell. -Okay.

[chuckles]

Easy.

What? That was my joker face.

-Well, it definitely wasn't your poker face. -[chuckles]

That shit was downright otherworldly.

See, this is why I should be famous.

No CGI needed here.

[chuckles]

[laughing]

Anyways, the joker card was first introduced in 1862

and was actually first depicted as a tiger.

Really? Does that mean you have a tiger face, too?

-I don't know if you could be trusted with that one yet. -Oh, come on.

[sighs] Tell you what? I'll show you mine if you show me yours.

-Okay. -[chuckles]

In a show of solidarity,

we'll raise our shot glasses,

take a shot and then reveal our finest tiger faces.

Okay.

All right. Ready when you are.

[clink]

[coughs]

[distorted growling]

[both laughing]

[Birdie] Has your monkey won any?

[chuckles]

Hey, Archie.

I know it's been a week, but I'm so shaken up over the whole thing.

I mean if you hadn't been there, I don't know what would have happened.

I know it's what I had to do.

[sighs] Why do you have to leave?

Ed's my best friend.

I understand.

Go to the hotel.

It's probably the safest place.

Are you sure the hotel is the safest place?

That place gives me the creeps.

I have to do some detective stuff.

-Batman shit. -[chuckles]

Well then, you need a Robin?

Just promise me you'll be safe.

When all this blows over...

when everything's figured out...

we'll go to a beach of your choice.

-I like that idea. -Get Mai Tais.

[chuckles]

[traffic noises]

[Retrovision] I want you two to get into her room.

Once you have her secured, bring in the rest of the ghouls

and make sure before you kill her, to bathe her in that gallon of pig blood I gave you.

[Birdie gasping]

No, no, no, no, no please, no.

[gasping]

No, no, no, no. Please, no.

[dramatic music playing]

[screams]

No, no, no, no.

[panting]

[imitating monkey chattering]

[thuds]

[Birdie panting]

[Wren] Film it. Film it all. She's going to be a star after all.

And as for Archie, don't worry.

I sent a snake after him.

Today will still be beautiful.

[cackling]

[low beat music playing]

[Archie] Ed, man. Where are you?

[suspenseful music playing]

I'm super excited about this investor. Let's make Retrovision.

You're my guy. Yeah, get back to me.

Text me or something.

[doorbell rings]

-Mary, how are you sweetie? -I'm good.

I'm just coming to check on Archie.

That's what I figured 'cause ain't nobody want to visit an aging bat like me

-that's for damn sure. -[laughs]

Um, how's his physical therapy going?

Good. Real good. He's starting to remember little things here and there.

He's in his room.

[fly buzzing]

[whistle blows]

[Mary] So how's your memory?

Remember anything new?

[dramatic music playing]

Hey, it'll... it'll come back to you.

[whistle blows]

Archie, you scared me.

I thought you were the living dead.

You need a shower. You're bringing in the flies.

They gravitate towards...

Well, it's obvious you ain't hearing me.

Looks like I'm going to have to spray you down with Febreze.

I'm left no choice.

You have dad's belt buckle?

I've been saving it for you.

Now, you're not going to sell it, are you?

Because if that's the case, I'm going to just keep it here where it's nice and safe.

I'm not going to sell it.

Okay, but I'm trusting you.

[voices echoing]

[dramatic music playing]

[music stops playing]

Retrovision, hey. What's that about?

Let me guess. How we should learn from our past mistakes.

Chicken crap. Give me that.

No good alligator hugging, cow tipping, donkey ride.

Who do you think you are? Horseshit.

Hey, Archie.

Don't listen to that man.

This script is going to make for a fine movie one day.

[birds chirping]

[man 11] Hey, what you doing with that mannequin.

Hey, look, the yard sale was over yesterday, buddy.

Hey, come back here. I want money for that. I want money.

Come back here. Come back here.

[dog barks]

What else did he take?

[intense music]

[Archie] Look at dreams. I can't stay.

[laughing]

[gunshot]

[reel whirring]

[Retrovision] Open your mind.

[laughing]

["Fur Elise" by Beethoven playing]

[distorted voice]

[gasps]

[Retrovision] Allow me to introduce myself.

I am a Psychopomp starring as Retrovision,

the title and character from a script you wrote while on Earth.

Me and my cast reenacted elements and people from your past life

in order to wake you up from your false belief that you were alive.

This here is not a physical plane as it seems.

These are ghost sets of actual places you had been to on Earth.

One of my best actors playing your friend Birdie Anne

triggered a memory which resulted in you realizing the truth.

This gave us the right to guide you to your final destination in the afterlife,

but we weren't the only ones that were trying to pull you out of this time loop.

Dark insects had assembled their own cast,

but with the intention of taking you to the dark place.

But now that you know the truth you must leave.

The insects are crafty and could still trick you.

This motel door is really a gate.

You must walk through it.

Do it now before the loop closes.

[scraping]

Job well done.

[tranquil music playing]

[Archie] What do you want our story to be now, Birdie?

[music fades]

[suspenseful music playing]