Original subtitles

THE CLOWN

It's hot!

You should have a fan.

57 people.

Including Mayor Romualdo.

His wife is called Nancy. She's a hairdresser.

-Romualdo, Nancy. -Romualdo, Nancy.

Romualdo's kind of blind. He wears thick glasses.

-The town's wacko is Pinga. -Pinga!

He's nuts, an old drunk!

And the brothel has the best name! "The Snake's Armpit".

-OK! What about my father? -As usual.

Give us a magic trick!

Here's the ball. It's gone!

Look! An elephant!

Ladies and...

Ladies and gentlemen! The Circus Esperanza...

is proud to present the greatest act in Latin America...

in Europe...

and also in Santa Rita of Ibitipoca.

I must ask for those who are faint of heart to leave now!

While performing the act you're about to see...

the famous Hans Sdrausen, from the USSR...

lost his sight and fell in love with the neighbor's parakeet!

Is he or is he not crazier than Pinga?

I beg for a round of applause to such a myth...

a man who wandered through deserts without sleeping...

climbed mountains without eating...

and sailed the seas without lying.

And who shall now perform exclusively before your eyes!

Please welcome the fabulous, the spectacular, the sensational...

Thoroughbred!

-How are you? -I'm fine.

I'm talking to that charming lady next to you. How are you?

-Fine. -What's your name, charming lady?

-Nancy. -Is that a name?

Don't tell me you're the wife of the greatest mayor...

in South America and North Africa!

Dear Mayor Ronaldo...

It's Romualdo, you moron!

Don't bother me or I'll teach you a lesson!

-Oh, really? -Yes!

-Oh, really? -Yes, yes, yes!

Look, people! He's teaching lessons for free!

I know this should be difficult for those afraid of roaches...

but I need a brave woman from the audience!

I am brave!

The other day I had four men run!

-Run away from you? -No, run after me!

You wretch!

These are all your children, you cuckold!

Where's my money?

Security, take away that mad fat woman...

who I've never seen before!

But be careful with my children!

I need a very brave woman!

Anyone?

Then we must call the only true brave lady...

that has ever set a foot here and there!

-No, no, no! -Yes, yes, yes!

-Are you calling...? -Exactly! Excuse me!

Hello, operator!

I wish to make a long distance call...

to 666, half a dozen and six.

That number is busy, ma'am.

Please hold on a moment while I put you through...

the police station line.

I wish to speak with Lola!

-What? Arrested? -Arrested!

But how come...?

-Killed someone? -Killed someone!

Killed who? Mary Horse-Kick?

-With a knife! -With a knife!

Hello, Lola!

Could you help us in a mission of the greatest importance?

How long will you take to get here?

The bravest woman of the Western, Eastern, and lcy lndies!

Lola!

-We're Thoroughbred... -And Mongrel!

The greatest clowns in the third world!

Goodbye!

You shouldn't say "goodbye" to the audience, fool!

You should say "I'll see you", or something!

I'll see you or something!

Now will you excuse me!

I have an important meeting at "The Snake's Armpit"!

-Did you fix that permit thing? -I'll handle that, father.

Benjee, we should shake things here a little bit.

-Yeah. A little makeover. -People like foreign artists.

We could dye our hair to pretend we're Russian!

-Got any cash for that? -Let's talk about that later!

Hey, Benjee! Help us out!

We're the only ones working here. That's not right.

Benjee, have you seen the first-aid kit?

-What's wrong? -Got a headache.

-Talk to Lady Zaira. -Lady Zaira.

There's no way I can work with these shoes.

-Mr. Waldemar Gomes? -That's my father.

-And you are? -Benjamim Savala Gomes.

Can I see some ID, please?

I've only got my birth certificate.

I also need to see the circus' permit, please.

I haven't got it yet.

-Can you get me some tickets? -Sure.

My uncle will love this! He loves the circus!

Do you need anything?

No, Lady Zaira. It's OK...

I walk around with this certificate. But what for?

I'm always in a hurry.

I'll wait until things cool down to take care of it all.

Hey, Benjee. Could you get me a new bra?

The strap broke and my boobs popped out on the stage.

You need a good night of sleep, Benjamim.

Hi.

You're very funny.

-Am I? -Yeah.

-What's your name? -Benjamim.

I'm Ana.

-Nice to meet you. -You too.

I really liked your work.

Thank you!

Are you guys going to Passos?

Passos? I think...

I don't know...

You should go! People there will love you guys!

Thank you.

What's the town's name again?

Passos.

-And your name is? -It's Ana.

I'm Benjamim.

If you ever pass by, I work at Aldo Auto Parts.

-Aldo Auto Parts? -Yeah!

OK, then... Bye!

Bye, Ana.

Fabulous! What a fabulous troupe!

Our town is happy for welcoming such a talented group.

What's your name, my charming friend?

I'm running out of charm, but my name's Benjamim.

Oh, did you hear that?

We'd like you to come over and have lunch with us.

All of us?

-Of course. -Of course.

You mean all of us?

Dear artists, this is my son, my wife, my sister.

It's an immense honor to offer you this humble meal.

I hope you all can relish it.

I know what "relish" means, but I have no clue about "immense".

A toast to the artists!

-You like seafood? -Uh-uh.

I don't know if I'll eat fish or beef.

I tell him or you tell him?

- You tell him. - You tell him.

Benjee, are you going to pay us today?

We must send mom some cash.

I'll talk to my father later, so he'll settle that.

-It wasn't bad. 55 people came. -No, it was 57. I counted.

But the mayor and his wife didn't pay.

They didn't? What a nerve!

What about that food? Doesn't that count?

Yeah, but they could've collaborated too.

Otherwise things get difficult!

Stupendous musicians! What are your names?

- He's John, I'm Chico Humbug! -We're the Humbugging Brothers!

Do you play Ravel's "Bolero"?

No, only the "Brothel's Bolero".

-What's for dessert? -Egg pudding.

Life on the road is great, isn't it?

Yes, it's good to be out there.

Out there we listen, we see, we hear, we perceive, and we talk.

You're a serious type when you're off the ring.

You know, Benjamim. I think my son is an artist.

One can feel those things.

I'd be flattered if he could be in the show tomorrow.

Can I ask him to read a poem he's written?

My sweet mom, you only bring me joy.

She takes care of daddy and he takes care of the town.

Our family lives in happiness.

Mommy gives me a kiss and daddy shows me the good ways.

-He's got talent, Benjamim. -A true artist!

Yes, very good indeed.

-Can you think that over? -Sure.

You got an old bra that I can spare, ma'am?

A big old spare bra?

Mrs. Nancy, I heard you're the best hairdresser in town.

Oh, come on. Maybe you could come over to my parlor.

It'd be such an honor!

In fact we can't do extravagant things.

You can all come. I won't charge you anything. That will be a gift.

Thank you so much.

At this age, we have to change our looks every now and then.

May I come too, Mrs. Nancy?

Of course!

You're so generous.

So you're going to Mrs. Nancy's parlor?

You may even look good after that.

Is Benjamim all right, Mom?

Leave him alone, son.

Pay attention, Patrick.

When I'm about to stab that wretch, I'll make a move like this.

Then you just have to come and say:

"Stop it!" Then I say: "Who are you?"

And you reply: "I'm the angel who came to stop that tragedy!

Got it?

You must come in, or he'll kill me.

Candies! Who wants candies?

Smoothies! Smoothies!

-Good evening, Mr. Mayor. -Good evening.

That wing is too big. Move slowly.

You memorized those lines, didn't you?

I'm the angel who came to stop this tragedy.

Very good!

Soulless woman, you didn't waste time!

You left me for that bastard!

I'm an honored man!

I'm not guilty of taking away the only thing you've ever had!

I'm doomed, a dishonored woman! Murder me, I beg you!

Shut up, woman, for you're not worth anything!

You're the bastard who ruined my life.

But now you shall get what you deserve!

Don't do that to a brother, a God's son!

Your fate is set, Devil's son!

Now die like a man!

Go on, boy!

But he raised a knife. Where's that wooden stick?

The boy? Where's he?

The boy!

Who are you?

I'm the mayor's son, remember?

Bravo!

Find the ball!

-This one! -Nope!

Oh, dad!

-Where is it? -Here!

Nope!

Where is it?

Here!

Wrong again, my princess.

You're the circus owner, ain't you?

No, I can't take it at this time.

Oh, come on! It is good for washing down our organs.

It's nice to be the owner, isn't it?

Yeah.

A while ago, I used to own a textile factory with my father.

We even sold fabrics to Sao Paulo.

But then we started fighting.

He convinced me to sell the business...

to invest in rice.

But what did we know about rice?

Nothing.

We lost everything.

But that's OK.

I'm much better off now.

Everyone should do what they do best.

Cats drink milk...

mice eat cheese...

and I run my business.

Excuse me.

Chico and John.

And here's a down payment...

for the two of you!

You tell him.

If you could advance the whole pay, it'd be nice.

You know, our uncle is ill, back in Nepomuceno...

and we wanted to send him some cash.

Wasn't it your mother who was in trouble?

-She's well now. -Thank you.

Sweetheart, remember the story mom told you?

If you ever need anything, pray to Saint Genesius.

He's the patron of musicians, comedians and clowns.

He protects Quarter Pounder...

he protects Double-Jointed, as well as Benjamim.

He protects us, sweetheart!

I think the engine's broken down.

Let me see that.

-The engine's broken down. -I've already said that!

Let's find help.

I had an awful dream, guys!

Can't get to sleep now! I dreamed I was dating a goat!

Then we bred and the offspring... they looked like me!

We got a problem with our truck. Can you help us out?

I think the Parrot Brothers can help you out.

Here's what you should do.

You go straight. You go, go, go.

Then, turn right and go, go, go.

Then you go across the plank, then go, go.

I know it's not easy to get it.

Fortunately I have a map to sell you. Do you want it?

Hey, Benjamim, this map says "Venezuela".

Good to have folks around!

-Seu Rob? -No, I'm Bob.

I guess you're looking for Rob. Are you looking for Bob or Rob?

We're looking for help.

-Trouble with the police? -No.

Is this about drugs?

No! It's our truck. The engine's broken down.

Then you should talk to Rob.

But is Rob here?

I don't know. I haven't talked to him in 15 years.

-Good morning. -Good morning! Are you Bob?

No, Rob. Are you looking for Bob or Rob?

No! Listen, our truck has broken down.

I see. And you bought a map of Venezuela.

-Could you help us out? -I can go there tomorrow.

-Why tomorrow? -I don't work on Saturdays.

Those are my principles, but I have others.

Are you talking about money?

Mental agility is something I admire!

Is there anymore? Will the ladies find some?

What about that little one?

Dubious origin!

Give it back to him. Let's get down to work!

When you come back, remind me of not talking to you, you prick!

I love your mother

She's the soul mate I dreamed of

I love your mother

For I married her one day

Did any of you touch this?

My son tried to find the problem.

-He's curious, ain't he? -Yeah.

Pump it up!

People of Holy Jesus of Red River!

Circus Esperanza has arrived...

featuring the greatest artists in Russia!

Dimitri Constantin and Martina Dostoievska!

-Is there guava today? -Yes, sir!

-Is there marmalade today? -Yes, sir!

-And the clown, what is he? -He's a wives' thief!

Three, two, one, go!

Benjee, I hope you don't mind...

but we're setting the tent against the wind direction.

You're right, Quarter Pounder. Thanks.

I'm sorry about that. Let's set it up again.

-How much is that one? -200.

-And that smaller one? -That's 100.

-Can I pay in installments? -Sure!

I'll need your ID, social security and a fixed address.

Can it be just my birthday certificate?

-Why didn't you buy it? -Too expensive.

Hey, Benjee.

Do you like me?

Chico Humbug said that I stink.

Do I stink?

I'm the one selling candies now!

It's quite difficult.

Good luck, my friend!

Look. That aches. That's better.

I don't know what that is. I've been to many doctors.

None could find out what I have.

That's high pressure and a low Willy.

Hey, is it normal to dream of goats?

Shut up!

Aren't you embarrassed of walking around with that hair style?

Your mom liked it, you prick.

What about your wife?

You bet she did!

Now you ask me.

That canvas won't last for another year.

When we get there...

I'll pawn this accordion.

Father...

I think I can't take it anymore...

What is it, son?

-Are you cold? -Very much.

Oh, come here, I'll warm you up, sweetheart.

-Really? -Really.

No accordion.

Take it off!

WELCOME TO MONTES CLAROS

Aren't we going to bury the dead?

We don't know this soil.

I thought we didn't have to.

Where've you got your head at?

Stop it! Stop it!

Put it down! Down!

Let's put that tent down! Come on! Come on!

Down! Down with the canvas!

Let's go!

Come on!

I don't want to see it like that!

If the wind blows, it's coming down!

Isn't Benjamim coming in?

I'll talk to him.

Leave him alone, guys.

Have you ever had the chance of meeting a foreign artist?

No.

Dimitri Constantin. Yo soy Russian.

You aren't Russian here or in China. Where are you from?

Maceio, Jatiuca...

-You married? -Yes.

-Are you afraid? -Very much.

But I take chances.

I'll be off soon.

I'll be waiting.

You're from the circus, uh?

-How do you know? -Because of your sissy style.

Don't you have women in your troupe?

Yes.

So quit messing around with other people's women.

Do you have a bra to spare?

-For you? -Yes.

I mean, no.

It's for someone else.

Oh.

I'll never bury the dead by myself again.

By yourself? We did it together, Chico.

I might have not dug it, but I helped cover it with sand.

Is Passos too far from here?

Not really.

It's a two-day journey.

I'm tired.

Of what?

Of everything!

Tired of doing what I do.

-What do you do? -I work at a circus.

-As a tamer? -No.

-Globe of Death? -No, no.

As a clown.

I make people laugh...

but who in this world will make me laugh?

I need to...

get some sleep. I need...

to fix that ID thing, I need to...

buy new boots, a new bra.

It's about time we replace the candies.

You're funny.

Do you have a fan?

Emergency? Send a patrol over right away!

Today is my wife's birthday, Cleide.

People are having some cheese and wine at my place.

I don't need to tell you how upset I am for not being there.

Not really for the wines, but for the cheese.

I like cheese very much.

My cat... Lincoln ...

is suffering from terrible fur loss.

You probably don't know anything...

about wine, cheese, and much less, cats.

There are two kinds of fur loss:

the periodical shedding...

and the bad one...

caused by allergy to mange.

My aunt Valkyrie, the pharmacy owner, had mange.

And my cat...

caught it from her.

The problem is that the cat licks himself all the time...

and ended up with a fur ball in his stomach...

which could only be removed surgically.

And that's what happened today.

He was operated and went fine. He's home now.

I don't need to say how upset I am not to be there.

Not really for my wife, but...

for Lincoln.

The question is:

what's with that burying thing?

It's not a dead body, sir. It's circus slang.

We call it "to bury the dead".

That's it. When we find sandy soil...

we need to put the weights that hold the pole.

And we call those weights the dead.

Right!

What about the time you deprived me from Lincoln's company?

Shut that door.

Have you heard of Aldo Auto Parts?

What time is it?

What time is the show this evening?

At 1 1 .

33 people.

The mayor is called Silas. Got it? Silas!

His wife is called Quiteria. The local wacko is Geronimo.

He's into riding around barefoot.

The mayor is Silas. The wacko, Geronimo!

How's my father?

As usual.

Mayor Geronimo!

Candies!

Who wants candies?

Candies for free!

Tip, tip, tip, ton Tip, tip, tip, ton

I sing like this to ease your broken heart

Tip, tip, tip, ton

I sing like this to ease your broken heart

Mayor Geronimo!

Beautiful Mrs. Quiteria!

Those who drink too much in Easter...

don't make it to Christmas.

Booze can be lethal!

I think I'll move into a hospital!

That was Mongrel, the clown...

with his newest act "The Misdeeds of Booze".

A round of applause for him!

Did you know the strongest thing in the world is booze?

-But it can't knock me down! -Why not?

Because I always drink lying down!

The strongest thing in the world is steel!

No! Fire can melt steel!

No, it's not!

Water is stronger, for it can put out fire!

Ladies and gentlemen, silence please!

The strongest thing in the world is the man.

What's stronger than men?

The women!

Yes. The strongest thing in the world is the woman.

My son.

In this life, we have to do what we know how to.

Cats drink milk, mice eat cheese...

and I'm a clown.

What about you?

Why did you stop?

I'll need that money.

What money?

Lola!

You'll need it.

HELP WANTED

-Are you looking for a clerk? -Does it say that on the sign?

-Yes. -Then we are.

And what do I need to apply for it?

An ID, social security and proof of residence.

Next!

-What a wrecked certificate. -Yeah.

You'll have to go back and get a copy at your hometown.

Go back there?

Just kidding!

In two days, you'll have your ID card.

Next!

-Do you remember me? -Not really!

Just kidding. Here you go.

Next!

Do you know where Aldo Auto Parts is at?

ALDO'S AUTO PARTS

How much is 7 times 8?

56?

-Isn't it 58? -Didn't you ask 7 times 8?

-Right. -It's 56.

May I help you?

-is this Aldo Auto Parts? -Yeah. I'm Aldo.

Oh, so you're Aldo, like Aldo Auto Parts.

Right.

I'm Benjamim.

Do you need anything?

I'm looking for a lady called Ana. Does she work here?

Yes, she does.

Honey, come here!

Hi, Ana!

What a surprise! Is the circus here?

No.

-Have you met Aldo yet? -Yeah.

What a coincidence!

We're getting married next week. If you go, it'd be great!

Cool.

Isn't it?

Yeah.

Ok, then! I'll see you, Ana!

Can I pay for that TV in installments?

I'll need you ID, social security and proof of residence.

A guy went to a fortune teller...

and she told him:

'Your mother-in-law will die a violent death!'

Then he asked: 'Will I be saved?'

Two friends meet. One of them says:

'I think my wife is seeing a jockey behind my back."

'A jockey?"

"Yeah, I found a horse under the bed."

There's one more.

A Brazilian, a Frenchman and an Italian...

were sentenced to death.

The executioners asked the Italian:

"What's your last wish?"

'Eating a pizza', he said.

He ate...

and... dropped dead.

Then, to the French one: "What's your last wish?"

"I'd like a filet mignon."

They gave him...

and he died right away.

Then, they asked the Brazilian guy:

"What do you want to eat before you die?"

"Strawberries."

"This is not the season yet." "Fine, I'll wait."

You wretch, this is your son!

What son, madam?

Daddy!

Daddy? Only elephants have children that big.

What's your name, you silly boy?

Mongrel, sir.

Mongrel?

What're you doing here, Mongrel?

What am I doing here?

Wait, what am I doing?

Oh, I remember!

Cats drink milk, mice eat cheese...

and I'm a clown.

-How are you? -I'm fine.

I'm talking to the beautiful lady sitting next to you.

-Is everything fine? -Yes.

-What's your name, gallant lady? -It's Wanda.

Is that a good name to introduce oneself?

Now don't tell me you're the wife of the...

greatest mayor of South America and South Lavras?

I bet you don't know who created nature!

I bet I don't know too!

The world was created by God!

He came over with His celestial wings...

and took a rib off Adam's body.

-What if a dog walked by? -God flew away before that.

Then, with that one rib, He made the first woman.

You know how He named the woman made from the rib?

-Ribbon? -Eve, stupid!

Then God made the first couple.

And they had two children, Cain and Abel.

Who are their parents?

I don't know. I wasn't there.

So I'd rather not mess with other families' business.

Your ignorance enrages me.

I'll ask someone from the audience.

-What is your name, sir? -Jurandir!

Seu Jurandir, are you married?

Yes, I am. This is my wife.

Congratulations! How many children have you got?

Five children.

Mongrel, that's Jurandir...

who brought five children into this world!

Who's their father?

I'd rather not get involved in his familiar issues.

If Jurandir and his wife brought those five children...

then their father is...

Seu Jurandir!

Now I've got it!

Then I'll ask you something else.

Adam and Eve had two children.

Who's their father?

Seu Jurandir!

Mongrel, that dog we got back home...

gave birth to seven puppies last week, didn't she?

Who's the father to those puppies?

Is it Seu Jurandir?

What a beautiful audience!

Turn the lights on so I can see them!

Turn them off! Turn them off!

I know it's difficult for someone who is afraid of roaches...

but I need a brave woman from the audience!

Nobody?

Then we must call...

the only true brave lady to have ever set a foot here and there!

-No, no, no! -Yes, yes, yes!

Are you calling...?

Exactly! Excuse me, please!

Hello, operator!

l wish to make a collect call to 666, half a dozen and six.

-That number doesn't exist, madam. -What?

Hold on while I put you through.

Hello! Is it you, darling?

Could you help us in a mission of the greatest importance?

How long will you take to get here?

Are you the famous Guilhermina, the bravest woman...

in the Western, Eastern and Icy Indies?

Yes, you cheap Mongrel!

I'm brave and protected by Saint Genesius...

the saint who looks after the artists!

Bravo!

Look who's coming.

Very good.

Congratulations!

Nice, honey.

You were amazing.

Oh, my princess.