Original subtitles

-[Lucy]: My grandfather is my personal hero.

He flew a fighter plane in World War II.

And this was his helmut or as they would call them their 'Bone Domes'.

[Gerry snickers]

-In the late 1940's, hard shell helmets were introduced in the

military forces around the world and the 'Bone Dome' was...

[Gerry laughs quietly]

-Sir, is there something funny? -'Bone Domes' is funny...no?

-[Gerry laughing]: That's a funny word.

-Sir, can I carry on? -Okay, go ahead.

-Okay, the planes would land on the aircraft carrier.

Or as they sometimes called it...'The Bird Barn'.

[Class laughs]

-Seriously? 'Bird Barn' is funny?

But nobody laughed at bone dome?

Come on, grow up.

♪ I'm awesome. No you're not dude, don't lie ♪

♪ I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's ride ♪

♪ I'm awesome. A quarter of my life gone by ♪

♪ I'm awesome

[School staff chatter]

-[Gerry]: Eva. Jeff. -[Jeff]: Gerry.

-Bobbi, try these. They're amazing.

-No, I'm good thanks. -Go try one.

-No, I'm fine. -Go...

We should have this in Hawaii next year. I'd rather teach then be at this.

-No, a staff retreat is more of a state of mind.

And you'd actually have fun if you participated okay?

That's not happening. -[Callaghan]: Good morning everyone.

-Good morning Mr...

-Welcome to this year's staff retreat.

-[Whispers]: Go get one. -Please help yourself to the refreshments.

Including some outstanding raspberry cheesecake cookies.

Baked by our own Mr. Dwyer. [Applause]

-[Dwyer]: Just to let everybody know, they're organic.

-Not good.

-I'm the one who made the chocolate covered beetles.

So, they're over here.

Okay. Now every year we take one day to grow as a team.

And every year a different staff member volunteers to take

the reigns for that day.

This year, Bobbi is that person. -[Bobbi]: Ready to rock it Sir.

-Alright everybody, have fun and let's build our team.

If you need me, I'll be in my office.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa. Sir?

How come you get to leave and we gotta stay?

Are you not part of this team? -Gotta go.

-Why does he get to... -[Bobbi]: Okay!

Today we're gonna focus on trust. 'Cause as a staff we need to cover for each other, right?

We need to take care of each other.

And to do that, we need to trust each other.

So... -Yeah, uh huh listen.

When do we get to drink with each other?

[Laughter] -That's a good point.

-Uh, three o'clock. -Okay.

-So I need two volunteers. -I'll go.

-Great. -You know what? I can go too.

-[Bobbi]: Thanks Jeff. -[Gerry]: What's going on here?

-[Bobbi]: Okay, this first game is called: Trust Trumpet.

-Trust Trumpet? That sounds stupid!

-Thank you Norm. -This isn't going so well.

Beetles, bad idea.

We should be golfing. -[Bobbi]: Please.

We should golf, we should have a staff golf tournament.

You have to qualify to play.

♪ Music

-By signing up for the grade five leadership seminar,

you've taken your first step towards telling other people exactly what to do.

Let me tell you, it's fun!

Okay. Who wants to hop on board the leader-ship?

You do. Here's what we're going to do.

We're gonna warm up our brains. You ready?

Blablablabla...funanananan!

Funanananan!

-Can I go to the washroom? -No.

Not yet. We're warming up, guys come on...up, up, up.

Not yet. We're warming up, guys come on...up, up, up.

This, is the silly ball.

When you catch it, just make a silly noise, any noise at all.

[Robert makes a silly noise]

Any noise at all, just make a noise.

Just make a noise.

-[Gerry]: This is pointless. -[Bobbi]: No, no, no.

-You are gonna catch me, right? -My hands are out and I'm right behind you.

I don't even have to try and I'd catch you. What is this proving?

-Bobbi, I feel some people are creating an environment of hostility.

-Why is he here? He's not a teacher.

-I'm staff it's a staff retreat. -Okay, this is why people don't trust you, Gerry.

-People trust me. -I don't.

-Why do you always...? -[Bobbi]: Okay. -[Leung]: Yup, bring it.

-You think catching Lisa is going to make people trust each other?

-Okay, I have a little game that will demand real trust. If you're up for it.

-I'm up for it. -Great.

-I'll win it. And I'll be the only one you trust at the end of the day.

-Bobbi, I'm down. Let's do this. -Thank you Paul.

Okay write down a little secret on a piece of paper.

Something about yourself. And then just fold it in half.

-I got a doozy. -[Bobbi]: It doesn't have to be a doozy, just a little secret.

-[Gerry]: Yes it does. -Great, now rip it up.

-[Gerry]: Do you not feel like you're wasting our time again?

-Okay. Now we'll do that again, but write down a bigger secret.

Something a little bit darker, something you want nobody to know about.

Something you've kept... -[Gerry]: Like a drug addiction.

-Don't tell people. -Or alcoholism. -[Bobbi]: Doesn't...

-Hookers... -Right.

-Don't give people secrets, just do your own.

And then put them in this bowl. Okay? Right away. Real fast.

-Whoa, we're not ripping those up?

-No, we are not. -Uh, wait now, this one is a real ripper.

-Let's go. -[Gerry]: Oh, you can trust I put mine in the bowl.

-No, no, no. In the bowl.

Great, now we're going to leave them in this bowl all day, out in the open.

-Then we're gonna read them as a group, in front of everybody.

-No we're not. No, we're gonna throw them away,

because we're gonna trust that nobody's going to look at them, Gerry.

-Fine, go ahead, you can trust me. Why are you looking at me.

-You know, I got faith, in all you guys.

-[All]: Whoa, whoa, whoa! [Laughter]

-[Bobbi]: Oh no, put it back.

-[All]: Gerry no! Gerry stop it!

-Stop that! [Bobbi]: Okay.

-[Gerry]: As if I would take them. What was your secret?

You steal stuff from people?

-I will not tell you my secret.

♪ Music

-I come back? -Oh no, it's okay. Come on in. Do your thing.

[Callaghan breathing heavily from workout]

-Pushing the heavy's. It's good to start light.

Thank you.

-[Robert]: Alright little leaders, this is gonna be fun.

You guys are gonna break me out of this...prison.

-Did you kill a guy? -No!

But, somewhere back in the classroom, I've hidden the key.

So, it's up to you guys to step up and take charge and lead.

But remember, without your help I cannot escape. Locked.

Begin.

[Robert]: Remember, this is fun and it should take about 10 minutes. Tops!

♪ Music

-[Dwyer]: One. -[Woman]: Two.

-[Lisa]: Three. -[Woman]: Four.

-I'm gonna blow my head off. -[Man]: Five.

-[Woman]: Six. -[Man]: Seven.

-[Woman]: Eight. -[Man]: Nine.

-What are you doing Gerry? -Getting a cookie.

-[Lisa]: Really? Right next to the bowl? Come on Gerry.

-I didn't even see the bowl. Look, no one put a major secret in there.

Come on let's just see what's in the bowl.

-How about you just keep away from the bowl Gerry?

-[Gerry]: Okay, I will. -[Bobbi]: Great.

-[Gerry]: Everybody look at Gerry, he's getting a cookie, 'cause we don't trust Gerry.

Oh my god, he got a cookie.

[Robert sings to himself]

Come on you guys. I know you can do this.

You're the best juniors we've got.

Some would even say you're: top shelf.

-[Gerry]: This is fun. Fun, fun.

[Gerry sighs]

-Sorry I'm late. Did I miss anything?

-Nah, you didn't miss anything. Look at this game.

It's just game after game. Okay? Actually, we're going to play charades.

Why don't you grab one out of the bowl.

-I love charades. -Yeah, that's the charades bowl.

-Yeah? Me? -Yeah do one. Go first.

-No, please don't read that Simon. -[Gerry]: First word. I, I.

-[All]: Gerry, stop. Stop. Simon! No, stop.

-Pray? Bow. Zombie? -[Bobbi]: Simon.

-[All]: Stop, no! -[Bobbi]: Simon!!

-What? Gerry said we were playing charades.

It was: I was in a cult. Is that a film title?

-[Whispers]: My god. -I've never seen that film.

Is that a series of teen romance novels?

-So, somebody was in a cult. Wow, these are uh...

[Clears throat] These are, these are bad secrets. Real secrets.

-Gerry, I thought you said you were trying to earn everybody's trust?

-What's going on here? -Simon, these are everyone's secrets.

-That's a pretty crazy way to play charades.

-And you read one, you read one.

-What was zombie stuff? -What was this, what was this?

-That's you praying. -[Gerry]: You kept drinking.

-[Simon]: Jonestown, the Kool Aid. -[Gerry]: Do the Waco guy.

-I should have done Waco. -[Gerry]: Yes.

-I should have done Waco. Next time. ♪ Music.

♪ Music.

-Simon.

-What are you doing?

-Oh, everybody wants to know what's in the bowl.

-Okay, for me... -I felt really bad, so I wrote up a bunch of my own secrets.

You can put them in the bowl. -Just get out, get out.

-Real doozy's in there. -That's fair.

-Okay, can you just promise me you won't look at the secrets in the bowl, all day?

-I won't touch it. -Swear on your life.

-Promise, I will not. Start trusting me!

-Yeah. -Promise.

Not gonna. -Okay.

-Okay? -Alright, shake on it.

-Shake on it. No secrets in the bowl.

Stop, you're squeezing a little bit.

-Okay. -Ow, strong.

-Because I'm trusting you. -You should. You should.

-Okay, thank you. -Alright. You're welcome.

-Probably gonna take these with me.

-Yeah, just in case something happens. -Yeah.

♪ Music

[Robert whistling]

-Toilet tower got taller.

What am I doing?

Help! Hey, there's a man in here.

Better start conserving this. Okay, this is easy.

Simple, I just have to take charge and lead myself out of here.

Cell phone, still no reception. Nail clippers, won't help.

Wallet.

Oh no!

Oh no!

-Stretching, yes? -Yeah, I'm gonna go for a run.

-A careful jog, good for old heart.

-Actually, I like to push the pace, I'm going to run...fast.

-Sure, sure.

-I can kick your butt in a race, any day.

-Ah ha ha ha ha. This is not so.

-Alright, let's go, you and I right now.

-I will crush you. -You're going down.

-I will butcher your heart. -What?

-You are going to die!

-Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't talk to me like that.

-Baby cannot take the garbage talk?

-Alright, let's go. Right now. Come on.

-Was it you in a cult?

-No, Gerry. It wasn't me. Give it a rest.

-Could be Leung. Although, I think Leung would probably start a cult.

-[Lisa laughs] -What's going on over there?

-They're talking about me being in a cult.

-That's who I thought it was. -Come on, everybody thought it was Leung, right?

-No, no, okay hold on you guys. -I was not in a cult.

-It's cool if you were. -That is not my secret.

-How many wives do you have? -Stop it!

-Do you want some Kool Aid? -I was born without testicles.

-I was born without testicles too, if that makes you feel any...

-[Simon quietly]: Sorry.

-You can't tell.

-Come on, come on.

This is crazy.

I told you this was crazy Yasmin Bleach.

In fact, I told all you guys this was crazy.

Don't panic Robert. What would Tony Robbins do?

Why, he'd motivate the door to open through positivity.

Whayah!

[Glass smashing]

Not how I want to spend my long weekend.

♪ Music

-So, Bobbi, are we going to tear up the secrets now?

-I guess so. -No, no, can't tear them up now.

We gotta tell everybodys secrets.

-No, Gerry, come on. -No, that's not fair to Leung.

-What are you talking about?

-How does he know we're not walking around telling every

single person we meet that he has no testicles?

He needs to have something on us to make this fair.

-We have to level the playing field.

-So, we're reading the secrets? -We're reading the secrets.

-You first. -No, this is not how this is supposed to go.

-I have no problem going first.

-And we don't want just any old secret, we want the one you wrote down.

-Yeah, let's hear it Gerry. -Well, the one I wrote down...

Simon is a virgin. That is my secret.

-Hey buddy.

[Sighs]

And I feel a relief, in getting that off my chest.

♪ Music -'Cause I've been holding that in.

♪ Music

-So, are we going to open these secrets or what?

-[Bobbi]: No, we have to wait for Simon.

-Paul, what's your secret?

-Well I have this crippling fear of flying. It's so hard to talk about because...

-[Gerry]: Can't fly, afraid of planes, we get it.

Thanks Lisa, that's a great one. Paul?

-Okay, I was the one who was in the cult.

For two weeks I was a Raelian. I was 19, the recruiter was so handsome.

-Okay Trudy. Okay, good one.

Okay Paul, what do ya got? What's your secret?

-Gerry, you need to go and find Simon and apologize Gerry.

-This whole day has been boring, I am not missing the best part.

-You told everyone that he was a virgin.

-That was my secret, and nobody knew.

-I just assumed he was a virgin.

-Nobody's gonna tell another secret right? While I go.

Paul, don't tell your secret until I come back.

-It's called testicular agenesis.

-[Callaghan]: Sorry you couldn't keep up. Maybe next time.

-Okay. Okay, okay. You win your game.

Now, we play mine.

-What the hell was that? -Slap battle. Where I come from, popular game.

Whoever slaps last, wins. -Hey, cut that out.

-You cut that out.

♪ Music

-Look, I feel terrible, okay?

You've got nothing to be ashamed of, you're saving yourself for a woman. I think that's sweet.

-I'm not saving myself. -You're not sav...?

Okay, that's kind of embarrassing at your age then.

-Thanks Gerry.

-I don't know what to say. What do I say?

I don't know what to say to a virgin, who's 27.

-You know what? I don't either, because ever since I was a kid I've never had any male friends.

Every dude I've ever known has bullied me.

And you're just another one of those dudes.

I thought you were a different kind of dude.

-Okay, I'm not a dude, we don't say dude anymore.

-I get why women don't like me. Okay? I understand.

But I'll never understand why me and dudes can't be buddies.

-I shouldn't have said that in front of everybody.

Okay? So I apologize. But we're buddies.

We're buddies at work. We hang out. We do stuff.

That's a buddy right there. -Work buddies?

-Yes! During the week we do tons of stuff while we're at work.

-What about weekends? -Oh, we're not buddies on weekends.

-Yeah, you got stuff going on. Me too I'm pretty busy. Summers?

-No, summers I leave, you leave we come back, we're buddies again in September.

-Okay, but during the week. -'Til three o'clock every day.

And then we go our separate ways again.

-Let me ask you something.

Did any of the female staff members mention sleeping with me, out of sympathy?

-No, but I think Trudy, I think Trudy. -Trudy said something?

-I could see Trudy thinking: interesting, I could see that.

-Now, there's a lot of secrets down there that make being a virgin...

Well no, being a virgin's pretty bad at your age, but there's other secrets.

Like Dwyer, we don't know what he's got, Dwyer's down there.

-I bet Dwyer's got a dark secret. I bet he's a virgin.

-Nope, no one else, just you. We talked about it when you left.

You're the only virgin. -You think so?

-Come on, let's go. -Okay dude.

-Don't say dude anymore, you really should stop with the dude.

-Call the slap battle a tie?

-You know what my friend? Let's call the whole day a tie.

[Screaming from closet]

-Yasmin bleach, we did it.

-[Callaghan]: Robert? What are you doing?

-Sir, excuse me. I have a whole room full of kids to lead.

♪ Music

-Here he is, look who I have. -[Dwyer]: Simon!

-Hey Simon. -Hey Simon.

-Did Gerry make things better for you? -Well, I'm still a virgin but...

-Hey, are we still revealing secrets? -Yeah, we're actually on Paul.

-Perfect. Let's hear this.

-Okay, everybody knows my father passed away not so long ago, right?

-You killed him. -Gerry!

-Let him finish.

-I just never had a chance to let him know...

How much of a big inspiration he was to me.

-Yeah? And then what'd you do?

That's the secret? -It's my father, Gerry.

-Are we counting that? -Yeah, that counts.

-Alright, well I guess that's it, we did it.

-Hold on. -Hold on?

-We still don't have a real secret from you Gerry.

-Yeah you kinda owe us a secret. -Okay, well you guys all know that my...

Dad left for work this morning and...

I never got a chance to tell him how much I love him.

And what an inspiration he is to me daily.

-That doesn't count. -[Gerry]: But that's a secret.

-That's based on Paul's. We need a secret of your own, something personal.

-Okay, remember when the coffee machine broke in the staff room?

-[Trudy]: You mean hell week? How could we forget hell week? It was hell.

-[Bobbi]: It was brutal. -I had to take a personal leave for a week.

-Oh, I had migraines. -Anyway, I broke it.

And I...I didn't tell anyone, I just...

And I never make coffee. Or washed my mug.

-Are you serious? -Serious.

-You don't mess with a man's coffee.

[Dwyer]: Sick of this!

-Is he gone? Simon. -Yeah, he's gone.

♪ Music

♪ Music

-I trust that you are enjoying the new coffee machine I bought for everybody.

-It's nice, okay? It's nice. -Good.

-So trust is good, we're good with trust.

-Yeah, sure. -Thank you.

Ohhh, you, I owe an apology to.

Some of the things I said in the staff retreat were not appropriate considering...

The horrible situation you had. So, I'm sorry.

-Thank you. -You're welcome. So...

As a peace offering...

I got you these. -What are those?

-Chinese balls! I swear to God they're called Chinese balls.

-You're a child. -Don't be testy, don't be testy.

[Chime of Chinese balls] -You feel that Leung?