Original subtitles

[Gerry sighs]

-[Gerry]: Morning. Sheila, what chapter are we on?

-Chapter two, Sir. -What's chapter two about?

-Demography, Sir.

-Alright, Lori, can you come write, demography on the board for me please?

-Sir, are you collecting our assignments?

-Oh yeah, pass your assignments to the first person.

Jonathan, can you collect those for me?

Keegan, take the attendance down. Lori, is anybody away?

-[Lori]: No Sir. -Nobody's away. Tell them everybody's here.

-Yes Sir. -Sir, are you handing our tests back?

-Yes. Lori, hand back the tests. The tests were very well done.

Good work everybody.

-Sir? -What?

-These aren't marked. -Hand them out, we'll mark them now.

Once you get your test pass it to the person behind you

Last person bring it to the first person in each row.

Sheila's probably got perfect. Sheila, we're going to use your test as the answer key.

So, dictate the answers from your seat.

Once you've totalled everything up, circle the mark in a red pen in the top right corner.

Give them some comments, like: Good job, Nice work, Try harder.

What are you doing? What happened?

Thanks. Cramps. Tequila.

Whoever marks her test give her bonus marks please.

Two extra marks for thinking of the teacher. QUIET!

[Gerry mumbles]: Too many shots, too many shots.

Every time I have shots I feel like this.

♪ Music

♪ I'm awesome, no you're not dude don't lie ♪

♪ I'm awesome, I'm driving around in my mom's ride ♪

♪ I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by ♪

♪ I'm awesome

♪ Music

-Bill, come here.

Isn't that Daniel Negreanu right there?

The poker player Daniel Negreanu?

Yeah, the poker player. How many Daniel Negreanu's do you know? He's world famous.

-[Bill]: Yeah it is. -[Gerry]: It is, I knew it.

I'm sitting here going: Why do I recognize that guy?

-[Bill]: I didn't even notice. -[Gerry]: It's so cool.

He's sitting right there. Daniel Negreanu.

-[Bill]: It's awesome. -I'm going to go talk to him.

Daniel Negreanu? -Hey, what's going on man?

-Is everything okay? -Oh yeah, you know.

Just been on a little bit of a bad run. But happens to the best of us.

-Really? You've been on a bad run? Playing poker?

-Yeah, it's just been some really, really bad luck.

Good news is, it can't get much worse than this.

Mmm, I was wondering umm...

You wouldn't happen to know of any cheap hotels around here would you?

Like, maybe, free ones? -Umm, yeah, actually.

Bill, get over here. Come here. It's my roommate, Bill.

-[Daniel]: What's going on Bill? -[Bill]: Hey, how you doing?

-We have a cheap hotel, called: our place. Yeah, it's free.

-[Bill]: Yes! Yeah we do. -I'm not going to put you out.

-No, you're not putting us out. When Daniel Negreanu's in trouble...

Or if Daniel Negreanu's having a bad streak, where does Daniel Negreanu stay?

-Daniel Negreanu Motel. -That's what we're calling our place.

-Daniel Negreanu Motel. -By the way just Daniel is fine.

-[Bill and Gerry]: As in Daniel Negreanu!

-No one says just Daniel when talking about Daniel Negreanu.

It's like, the whole word is used.

-It's so fun, that you're here. -He's staying at our place.

Sleep over! -[Bill]: Yeah!

♪ Music

-Excuse me? I'm Darius Lyons.

-Oh yes. You're going to be covering for Mrs. Donaldson, who's away on mat leave.

Again. The woman is a machine.

Anyway her schedule is in there. Also there's a map of the school.

If you need anything at all, my name is Trudy.

-There you are! -Robert.

-Get over here. Ahhh.

Mmmm, ahhh.

Trudy, this is the man who's responsible for my love of teaching.

-Ohhh, so it was you! Okay then.

Well, he certainly went out on a limb to get you here Sir.

-Well, it's nice to get some work, I guess.

-Stop embarrassing me. I'm just happy you're here.

Mrs. Donaldson better watch her back that you don't replace her full time, huh?

Good luck today, get to class, I'll come track you down we'll get some lunch. How's that?

-Sounds nice. -Okay Darius.

Ahhh, 20 years he's been my mentor, amazing teacher.

-Yeah, well he better be, 'cause he's here for three months.

-Oh, he's good. Trust me.

In fact, guys like Darius shouldn't be subbing. We need to get him on here full time.

-Well, why don't you see if he has his VP courses?

Then he could have your job. [Robert fake laughs]

-Or, maybe I should see if he can wear circus attire and have his PhMean.

'Cause then he could do what you do here, every day.

-You know what cowboy? You don't have a big enough gun for this showdown.

So, why don't you just back on out of the saloon? Okay?

-[Robert makes squeaky door noises]

-Oh, there you are. -[Daniel]: Hey.

-I thought you left without saying goodbye.

Oh, and you have one of my shirts on there.

-Yeah, sorry. I hope you don't mind, I was in those clothes for days.

-That's okay. Well, what's the big city you're off to next?

-Nothing really planned, just going to chill for a bit.

-Bill gets up around noon. I'm sure he'll take you where you need to go, so...

-Cool. Um, hey, I was wondering do you have an online poker account?

-Yeah, why? -I was thinking, if you wanted to...

That you could transfer me some money on there and we could go 50/50, I'll run it up.

-I like that idea. -Yeah?

-Yeah. I got about 400 bucks in there, I'll transfer that over.

-400 bucks? I'll run that up into 10,000 before you get back from work.

-That's five thousand dollars each! I love it.

Maybe I'll call in sick, I won't even go to work we'll just hang.

-Nah, you should probably go to work. -I should go to work.

♪ Music

-Gerry! -Paul.

-What are you doing? -What does it look like I'm doing?

I'm doing my lesson plans. -It looks like you're doodling.

Anyway, just a reminder, I'll be using your room during your spare for the next few days.

They're renovating the music room.

-I never heard this. -It was a memo Callaghan put out.

-Yeah, I never got a memo. So unfortunately we're not going to be able to do that.

'Cause I need to use my room on my spare the next few days so...

Sorry. -[Dwyer]: Wait a minute.

-What are you doing? -There it is.

You were doing your lesson plan on it. Ha! Thanks Gerry.

-Don't steal my quotes.

-Guess who stayed at my house last night!

I'll give you a hint, it is a world famous person.

-Queen Elizabeth. -Queen Elizabeth?

Seriously? You think Queen Elizabeth stayed at my house?

Do you think before you talk?

First of all, I think she's dead.

I'll give you another hint, it was a man.

-Justin Bieber. -[Gerry]: Oh my god.

Yup, that's who it was, Justin Bieber stayed at my house.

Daniel Negreanu stayed at my house last night.

-Who is that Sir? -Is that the guy with the fishing show?

-No, he is a world class poker player. -I love poker.

-Jonathan, I'm pretty sure you don't love poker if you don't know who Daniel Negreanu is.

-Sir, what does this have to do with history?

-Why do you come in here every day and just...do that?

I'm just doing my job, trying to come in, have a little conversation.

And you go right for the throat, every day.

Killing me, you're killing me Sheila.

-I'm here to learn Sir, I pay a lot of money to go to this school.

-YOU don't pay anything. Your parents do.

And Sheila! You will thank me for teaching how to play poker.

Because when you go to university, I promise you.

You will play poker for money, or beer or something.

And you're going to thank me.

Now, if you don't want to play, you can work quietly at your desk.

And be called a loser, for the rest of your life.

-Oh no, I'm going to play. -Okay, good.

You will lose.

-Okay class, now like I was saying, I'm Mr. Lyons.

And I'll be filling in for Mrs. Donaldson for the next few months or so.

So, I guess we could start with attendance.

And see who's here, or more importantly who's not here.

She left a chart here that shows where everyone sits.

So, Stephan is away today. -I'm Stephan.

Maybe you have the sheet upside down.

-Oh, look at that.

It has front of the class written right across the top.

How handy is this little thing? -[Robert]: Afternoon pupils.

Mind if I sit in? Watch my old mentor in action.

-[Darius]: Not at all. -Won't even know I'm here.

-Still working on attendance. -[Robert]: Still? Great.

-What are you doing? -I was just asking for an extra pen.

-While I'm busting my butt up here?

-Can we just try to pay attention?

Okay, so ah...Hey! What do you think you're doing...ah Jordan?

-That's Jordan, I'm Kevin.

-Yes, what do you think you're doing?

-I just opened my book up.

-Ah give me a break, give me a GD break

♪ Music

-Jonathan, just give me a few chips, let me back in.

-No way! But you're right, this is fun.

-Sheila, you have way too many. Let me...you have so....

-Sir! My dad taught me two things about poker.

-Never lend chips, and take out the low stack players first.

That's what I did.

[Daniel knocks] -Oh my gosh!

Daniel Negreanu! -How you doing kids?

-My buddy! What are you doing here man? What's up?

-Actually, I came by to, um, borrow your credit card.

I need to put some more money on my online account.

-What have you lost already? -Just a few hundred.

You know, I'll get it back.

-What happened to the thousands you were gonna...

-Relax man, it takes time. Time and money.

You know, I'm gonna get you up to ten thousand in no time.

-Ten thousand dollars huh? -Mmmhmm.

-Are you sure you can do that? -Come on.

-You're Daniel Negreanu. Okay. -That's right.

Credit card? -Yeah. Okay.

-Anybody want autographs, picture?

-Pictures, autographs right now for free. Anyone?

Daniel? Or Daniel and myself? Anyone?

-[Daniel]: Nobody? -[Gerry]: Nothing, they're not big poker followers.

-Right. -I'd love a picture later.

Alright, just be careful. -Yup.

♪ Music -See ya buddy.

♪ Music

-He's eating all my food. -Now you know how I feel, living with you.

-It's not funny man, we have to get rid of him, you said this would be one night.

-I can't throw Daniel Negreanu out on the street.

He's one of the best poker players in the world.

-[Bill]:We have to do something. -Alright, alright, alright!

Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to set up a poker game with my staff.

I'll bring Daniel, they don't know who he is.

He'll clean up, he'll make some money, he'll be gone.

-All he's been doing is losing money, how's that going to work?

-He's not going to lose to my staff.

I'll get the teachers that have no idea how to play poker.

Trust me! It will work. -Alright, okay. Set it up.

You don't feel bad doing that? -Why would I feel bad doing that? Okay.

Normally it would cost people thousands of dollars to play poker with Daniel.

Now they get to play for a couple hundred bucks. We'll have beers, it will be fun.

-Alright, we get a cut of the winnings, right?

-[Gerry]: Yeah, yeah, yeah. -It'll make up for all the stuff he stole from us.

-He sleeps a lot. Worse roommate than you.

I didn't think that was possible.

♪ Music

[Robert sighs]

-[Robert]: Ahhh.

-Is everything alright Robert? -I don't know.

Do substitutes typically take a few days to settle in?

-Not usually, why?

-I just don't know if Darius is the same teacher he was 20 years ago.

-Sure he is.

A guy who's been subbing as long as Darius has something wrong with him.

-But that's not how I remember it.

-It was 20 years ago Robert. Maybe you've changed.

Did you ever think of that? -Is it possible Darius was never good?

-Yes, it's possible. It's even probab...yes.

-Sorry, what room am I in again? -223, 223.

-If you say so, where's that? Oh, never mind, I have the map.

-Same place as yesterday.

I have to kill my mentor.

-No, you don't have to kill him, but you do have to fire him.

Which is still, pretty awful.

Poor you.

[Sound of instrument falling] -Oh my god.

This is ridiculous that he just leaves everything.

Who does that? How disrespectful is that?

Teacher comes in, borrows my class.

Just leaves everything strewn all over the floor like this.

I gotta wander around...

P.L.O., please leave on.

How am I supposed to use the board for my lesson?

No, that's not happening. No, I will not leave that on.

Because I have my own stuff that I need the board for.

I can't wander, I normally wander.

It's affecting my teaching style.

-Sir, how does it affect your teaching?

You usually just sit at your desk, and we watch movies.

-They're educational films. -'Remember the Titans'?

-Okay.

-This, kids, is disrespectful.

Teachers shouldn't do this to one another.

Okay? It's not all about music.

This is a social sciences room, and this is for social sciences.

So, I'm sorry Mr. Dwyer, but you will just have to write that again.

Test tomorrow. Okay, don't forget. Alright.

Oh, two can play at that game. Oh, okay.

Oh yeah, there we go Mr. Dwyer.

♪ Music

-[Gerry]: Hey Wayne. The Wayner, the Wayne Gretzky of librarians.

That's what I call you.

Look, I know we don't always see eye to eye.

But I though we'd patch that up with a little staff poker night I'm having at Barrels.

I'd like you to be there Wayne. -I only play Pai-Gow.

-Alright, well maybe you could try poker.

We could, get caught up. We don't even talk.

-Okay, I will learn it today on my spare.

-On your spare? Isn't your whole day a spare?

I'm sorry, librarians are an essential part of the school system. So, thank you.

-[Leung]: Thank you. -LISA! Poker tonight!

With the staff, at Barrels, are you in?

-Oh, I would love to, but I have a test that I have to prepare for at the end of the month, so.

-Okay, well Bill's going to be there!

-Bill? Why would that matter if Bill was there?

-Don't know, but he keeps asking about you.

-Asking about me?

-Anyway, so you coming? -Yeah, yeah, I'll be there.

-Bring lots of money. Simon! Play poker?

-Don't know, never tried.

-Okay. Well tonight I've organized a friendly staff poker night at Barrels.

I'd like you to come, as my friend.

-Okay. -But you gotta bring real money.

It's real money poker okay?

-I will bring ten thousand dollars.

-I don't think anybody will be bringing ten...

Okay, ten thousand dollars.

Alright, that's good. Okay.

♪ Music

-So, how's it been going today?

-Who knows?

-Darius, do you remember when we used to sub together?

-Not really. -Do you ever think about retiring?

-What? From this? No, I love it.

-You're fired. -Hmm?

-Mrs. Donaldson's back. -From mat leave? Already?

-Yeah....Preemie...Alex.

He seems to be doing okay. -Great!

-If you need to talk, you can just...

-No, look it's great, really.

I was hoping to get an early start on my weekend.

-It's me Darius. Just use me as a shoulder to cry on.

-Okay, goodbye.

-No.

Sweet, stupid man.

[Simon making robot noises]

-[Simon]: So how do you know Gerry, Daniel?

-Oh, you know, just through a few buddies.

-Yeah, yeah we go way back. -Are you a teacher as well?

-A lot of questions we're not here for questions okay?

We're here to play some poker.

-Chest a minute, can't start without us.

Hi everybody, sorry we're late.

-Oh Trudy, this is Daniel, Gerry's friend.

-How you doing? -Hello Daniel.

Gerry, can I talk to you for a second?

-I'm getting ready, just sit down and let's get started.

-Gosh, you look awfully familiar Daniel.

Now, where would I have seen you before?

-Know what? I'm not being a good host, let me ah...

-[Trudy]: Alright.

Daniel Negreanu, I want in, 20%.

-I don't know what you're talking about. -Don't even.

You set this whole thing up.

Either you cut me in or I will squawk like a chicken.

-Fine.

Alright, let's go. Ahhh let's say five hundred dollar buy in.

-What are you crazy? -I don't have money that much.

-Gerry, you said this was going to be a friendly game of poker.

-[Leung yells]: I'm in!

-Hundred dollar buy in. -Fifty dollars.

-Yeah fifty. -Fifty dollars and we can buy in as many times as we want.

-Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Buy in as much as you want. Get lots of money, good.

-I will be buying in once. -Let's play some poker.

[Gerry]: Very distracting Trudy, put a sweater on or something.

-Nice. ♪ Music

♪ Music

-Alright, here we go. Heads up poker.

-You know, the key to poker is just knowing how to read people.

-Is that so? -Black's catching up to red.

-You want to know what I'm reading right now?

-Hmm, probably at a fourth grade level.

-Ohhh. -Deal the cards Gerry!

-Take those off. [♪ Music from Leung's headphones]

-You gotta either stop yelling or you gotta turn the music off.

-Mmmm.

-[Trudy]: Read 'em and weep Leung. [Trudy laughs]

-[Malik]: Ahhh, nice.

-[Simon]: Oh, everyone's getting intense.

-[Leung yells]: I'm all in!

-Why do I feel you have tens or jacks or something like that?

-[Malik]: Yeah, yeah. It's a good feeling.

[Daniel]: I have no choice, I call. -Here we go.

-[Gerry]: Okay. Patch of tens. You're right, this is a big pot.

-What is happening? -[Malik]: Come on, come on. Bring it. Bring the pain.

-[Yells]: Burn a card!

-How many times are you going to say that? You've said it for two hours.

And I haven't forgotten once to burn a card. It's annoying.

You're yelling is annoying. Pair of kings.

-It's a good flop for me. -[Gerry]: Pair of kings.

-Daniel's ahead. -[Yells]: Burn a card!

-[Yells]: Stop telling me to burn a card!

I have not forgotten in two hours to burn a card!

You've said it every time!

Burn! Turn!

-[Malik]: Daniel Still. -Give me a ten!

-He wants a ten. You know what the odds are of getting a ten?

-It's like seven percent. -[Yells]: Like seven percent!

Your night is over!

Boo-ya! No ten!

-You forgot to burn a card. -[Trudy]: Idiot!

[Leung laughs] -[Gerry whispers]: What?

-No! -[All]: Ohhh!

-[Simon laughs]: This is great.

-What happened? -It's just bad luck.

-What the hell's wrong with you? -River had him going in.

-I want my money! [Leung laughs]

-This is your fault. -How do you lose?

-Nice hand. -[Gerry]: Try to keep it.

-You can't, that's not how it works Gerry. -Try to keep some.

♪ Music

-How do you lose to a guy that learned to play poker four hours earlier, on his spare?

-Gerry, I beat that guy, seriously nine out of ten times!

He was awful! Like absolutely terrible. It was just really bad luck.

-He's not sitting on my couch right now asking me for money every day though is he?

-Yeah, he left with you your money, but that's just a temporary thing.

-I can't hear you Daniel Negreanu.

-You just don't get it right? I need a little bit of a bank roll. So we can build on this.

-There's no more money. There's no more lending Daniel Negreanu money.

I just, I can't deal with this anymore. I'm sorry Daniel, you have to leave.

-Where do you want me to go? -I don't know, I don't care.

It's not my problem, but this is ridiculous.

-Gerry just have a little faith. I'm going to win back all your money.

Plus we're going to win like another ten, twenty thousand. No problem.

-No, I'm sorry. Okay.

You can sleep over, in the morning Daniel Negreanu is gone.

I'm sorry.

It's Negreanu idiot! ♪ Music

♪ Music

-So, Lisa was looking pretty good the other day.

-Do me a favour, stay away from the people I work with.

-It's a free country.

-Are you texting her right now? -Nah, of course not.

It's Daniel. -Daniel?

-Negreanu. -Why are you talking to him?

-He just won 3.2 million in Barcelona. This guy's on fire right now.

-Unbelievable. Why is he not texting me?

-Because you kicked him out. -Yeah but I let him live here.

So why is he texting you? -I don't know.

He got me this watch too. -He got you a watch?

-Yeah, look at that. -What? For what?

-I don't know, being cool. -I want a watch.