Original subtitles

[School bell sounds]

-Alright, so today as you can see we are not doing any work.

We're watching a movie today. You are welcome.

This is my favourite movie, and you will love it.

If anyone wants to borrow it after, you can do that too.

Maybe your parents haven't seen it. I just want to get it back.

But for now, I want you to sit back, no note taking, nothing.

Just enjoy a phenomenal movie. Okay?

Stephan, you can hit play.

[♪ Sultry music plays from TV]

-Okay, sorry.

-That was your favourite movie Sir?

-No, that is not the right movie.

My roommate, Bill, put the wrong movie back in the...

The my favourite movie box. That wasn't 'Remember the Titans'.

-What were they doing?

-[Whispers]: Oh god.

Um...

Sometimes when...

Four people are in love... ♪ Music

♪ I'm awesome, no you're not dude, don't lie ♪

♪ I'm awesome, I'm driving around in my mom's ride ♪

♪ I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by ♪

♪ I'm awesome

-Trudy.

-Kate. -Gerry.

-What are you doing here?

-Just picking up some materials for my job interview tomorrow.

-For this school? -Maybe.

-Well that's going to be awkward for me and...

For you, really.

-Not as awkward as the last time I saw you.

Remember? Fake girlfriend, hookers, where's my money Gerry?

Or couldn't be more awkward than proposing to you a few years ago.

And you lying, told me you were a lesbian and you're not.

-No, that's still awkward for you.

-Still awkward for me? -Yeah.

-You're getting divorced, heard that's awkward.

-Good you're keeping tabs on my life.

-Do you still gotta teach with your ex, Derek?

That's why you gotta come here, to my school?

Awkward.

-I'll see you later.

-Can't hire her.

She's going to be upset if she gets hired here.

Seeing me everyday. Oh, but I can't leave, I like it here.

I'm not. Her fault, too bad.

-When you're talking to women, what do you hear?

♪ Music

-Hey! No food in the library.

Just joking. Is that a new cafeteria cookie?

-No, it's a blood cookie. -Ah, Chinese delicacy.

-No, I donated blood at the Xavier blood drive.

And they gave me a delicious cookie. Mmmm.

-Mmmm, do you want to hear something crazy?

They're always after me to donate because of my ridiculously rare blood type.

-AB Rh negative? -Yeah.

-That's Garry's blood type as well.

-Ahhh, yet another thing we have in common, Garry.

Hmm, it's good to know in case I'm ever in a horrible accident.

-Or if Garry is.

That's why you should donate your rare and precious blood.

-Mmm, no way! Nope. No cookie's worth a needle. Delicious or not.

-What if Garry's life was in your hands?

-Tough call. -That's my son.

-Well, he's not a blood relative.

Oh!

Did you set me up for that? No you didn't. You didn't.

-Get out. -And I've offended you.

-[Leung quietly]: Go away. -I will.

♪ Music

-♪ Sean and Miranda, sitting in a tree ♪

The Brangelina of Xavier Academy.

The TomKat, no, not the TomKat. Sorry.

The SeaRanda. -That doesn't work.

-Yeah, Sean, Miranda - SeaRanda. That's what we call you.

-How long have you been dating now? -About three years.

-Three years, wow. Are you going to the same school in the fall?

-[Miranda]: No, we're not. -[Sean]: No.

-Nooooo! Shut up! You're kidding me.

Are you going to stay together? -[SeaRanda]: Of course.

-Boom. Thank you.

'Cause you guys have it all.

Separate schools is gonna be tough.

You go from calling every night the first week. Then it's the odd text.

-Hey Sir, I have a question about the assignment.

-Ask Maya, she's right there Jimmy.

He's not going to university for awhile.

Thanksgiving's when it really starts to go south, I find.

You both gain 15 pounds by then, you know that right?

You've heard of this Freshman 15? That happens. Trust me.

Yours is all muscle.

'Cause you get big, you're like: 'I'm gonna get massive.'

And yours is not muscle. You just get massive.

You don't even have a reason, you're just like I'm just gonna eat my face off.

You gain it, because you think you have everything.

You think he'll never leave you and then he sees you at Thanksgiving and...

The physical relationship... gonesville!

What? Phone sex? Boring.

Just too young. That's when you start to think about other girls.

Usually it's the guy that cheats first. Then you're like:

Are you seeing someone? No, I'm not.

I just, I don't hear from you.

I'm gaining weight and I just don't feel like myself and...

You're like, I think we should stop seeing each other.

Anyway. But you guys have a solid foundation.

I'm going to text you both at the end of the first week and see how you're doing.

See how your weight is going.

Just to help you, 'cause I think you're fine.

I think you'll defy the odds. You better, you better.

I want to be at your wedding. I want to MC your wedding in 10 years.

And I want you to say thank you Mr. D.

And I will say, I had nothing to do with it, even though I did.

I will say that at the wedding.

Sea-Randa!

Back to work. ♪ Music

♪ Music

-Mr. Cheeley, Megan has been impossible to deal with lately.

-How so? Is she disruptive? -No.

-Late for class? -No.

-Not doing her work? -No, she just...she's just been so difficult.

-Fine, leave her here. -Good luck.

-Have a seat.

-What's her deal? -What is her deal?

-So, Megan, what seems to be the problem?

-What does seem to be the problem?

-How can you not know what the problem is?

-How can you not know?

-Why did Ms. Mason bring you here?

-Why did did she bring me here?

-Okay, this is serious Megan.

-Do I have to call your mother in for a meeting?

-Do you have to?

-Home number, is what I need from you please.

Can I have your home number? -Can you?

-On that fateful day...

A combination of a flawed reactor design and inadequately

trained personnel resulted in one of the worst nuclear disasters of all time.

The devastation... -Hey!

-[Presenter]: ...caused... -Give me that.

-[Presenter]: ...by Chernobyl... -Do you think I'm blind?

-[Presenter]: ...wasn't just... -Disrespectful. We have someone speaking.

-No, no. -[Presenter continues in background]

-SeaRanda broke up? -[Presenter continues]

-Is this true? -[Presenter continues]

-[Presenter continues] -Read it, read it!

-No, what are you? Trying to get me in trouble?

-In trouble with who? I'm the teacher.

-The old guy. -When did this happen?

-[Presenter]: 1986.

-Okay, 1986, write that down.

A good year, probably, for you and your family.

So, maybe we'll be lucky enough to have that happen to us one day. Okay?

-Tell him.

-I just came to say my goodbyes. -Where ya going?

-Heaven. -What?

-Yeah, he's dying of no blood.

-Okay, I see what's going on here.

He is not dying of no blood.

What are you really dying of? -I don't think he's dying Simon.

-Yeah.

-He could be, if people like Simon don't donate their rare and beautiful blood.

-Okay, what are you guys talking about?

-Simon, like Garry, is Ab Rh negative.

-But he won't donate because he's scared.

-I am not scared.

I am scared, I am. -What are you scared of?

A little prick? Come on, don't be such a wuss.

-Yes, a wuss that's killing my son.

-I don't want to die. -I don't want to die either, Garry!

That's why I don't want the needle!

I don't expect you to understand small...fragile Garry.

So much of life unseen.

-Tell you what, I'm going to go with you. How about that?

Hmm? Show you what a big baby your being.

-Don't do it for me. Do it for Garry.

And for me.

♪ Music

-Did you guys hear about SeaRanda?

-Who? -Sean and Miranda, SeaRanda. Grow up Trudy.

-I actually did hear about that and I heard it's all your fault.

-How is it my fault. -Come on Gerry!

You tell two seniors that they're going to gain weight and be unfaithful on Thanksgiving.

-I didn't say on Thanksgiving, I said by Thanksgiving.

And I'm right, because that's what happens.

-I lost the dating pool, thanks to you.

-[Gerry]: Who cares? -You guys have a dating pool?

-[Gerry]: Yeah. -Yeah, I have to supplement my income somehow.

-[Lisa]: I want in a pool. -Oh, you're in a pool.

The nervous breakdown pool. -What?

-I have you breaking down by Christmas.

-Pay up, Trududy.

Time to pay the piper.

-Okay, why don't you just meet me in my office, I'll get you your money, okay?

-Excellent work Gerary. -Yeah, you owe me. -[Malik]: Yeah.

-You screwed me in the pool Gerry.

-That's how rumours get started.

How was I? -Oh for...

-Okay, start another pool,

'Cause I'm getting them back together. Within a week.

-[Trudy]: Alright.

Actually, I would go from one end to the other with that.

Then I'd drown him. ♪ Music

♪ Music

-Sean, what are you doing? -Studying.

-No, I'm not talking about this, I'm talking about Miranda.

That's the best you're ever going to do, you know that?

-I guess.

Fine, you're right. I'll never do better.

-If you know that then why would you break up with her?

-I didn't, she broke up with me. -Makes sense.

-Yeah, well, thanks to you she thinks I'm going to cheat on her.

And, you know, she won't even talk to me now.

-It's getting so complicated.

It's 'cause there's three of us involved, that's why.

Alright, stay out of this. -Are you sure?

-Yes, having three of us in this, this little triangle is screwing things up right now.

So, you gotta step away, you gotta back off for a second.

And let me do my thing, okay?

Alright. Don't talk to her, 'til I talk to her.

-Brenda!

-Hey, how's my little type-o-potamus today?

-Hi. Oh Brenda, please. I brought you an Ab Rh negative.

-Alright, let's get a needle in your arm.

-I'm not ready. -Okay, settle down.

It's gonna be fine. Okay, I'll go first, alright?

Comfy, comfy little chair. It's nice. -[Leung]: See?

-A little arm hug. -Arm hug.

-[Simon]: Arm hug. -[Bobbi]: Fresh, a fresh little kiss on the arm.

-Oh my god! -That's perfectly normal Simon.

-[Bobbi]: It's fine Simon. Don't worry so much. Ow, ow, ow!

-[Simon]: Bobbi? Bobbi? Bobbi?

-I gotcha! [Bobbi laughs]

-Not funny Bobbi. -You're all like: Bobbi! It was really good.

-There were some levels of funny.

♪ Music

-First, I'd like to say how sorry I am to be taking up your

valuable time with whatever this is about.

-So, you don't know why it is that you're here?

-Do, you, know why I'm here?

-Yes, ah, Megan has been difficult in Ms. Mason's class recently.

How can I explain? -How, can, you explain?

-I don't think I have to explain to either of you how serious this is.

-Do you know, how serious this is?

-I do. Do you?

-Are we done here?

-I have no idea.

-Today we're going to do something a little different.

We're going to do a presentation on famous couples.

In our history. So you will each find a partner.

And with that partner you will discuss any famous couple you like.

Try to mimic that relationship. You will try to be that couple.

And you will tell us about that couple, and their love for one another.

You could do The Captain and Tenille. There's an option.

Ellen and Portia, if you want to modernize it.

Marc Antony, Cleopatra.

You two should do that story.

Because Antony and Cleopatra also dated in high school.

And then dated in university and they lived, happily ever after.

-Sir, how did they live happily ever after?

They killed themselves. -Happily.

I would like Sean and Miranda to reenact the love story of Marc Antony and Cleopatra.

-[Miranda]: Sir? -We're supposed to be together.

-We were going to be partners. -No, no, that's not believable.

That Jimmy one, would have a girlfriend. And two, it would be you.

And you'll do all the work, he'll do nothing, he'll just stand there.

So you have to find a new partner.

And your partner will be Sean. Trust me.

Sean, Marc Antony.

Miranda, Cleopatra.

Final.

The rest of you, find a partner and find a couple.

-Okay, well now I don't have a partner.

-Yeah, and I don't have a partner either.

-Okay, as usual Ben doesn't have a partner so you and Ben can be partners. Alright?

Dumb and dumber. Perfect.

♪ Music

-Simon, no one's ever died from giving blood before, okay?

Well not today anyway, right? -[Leung]: Don't listen to her Simon. This is all normal.

-It's fine. Just don't picture your blood actually leaving your body.

Don't think about how sharp that needle is. -Stop it!

-[Nurse]: Just a little pinch. -[Bobbi]: It's really close.

-There we go we're in, we're in.

-[Bobbi]: You're in. -See? Everything's fine.

-[Bobbi]: Nice. Oh!

-[Nurse]: Oh, we'll just get some gauze, cover that up.

[Bobbi makes vomit noises] -That's um, that's a bit weird.

-[Bobbi]: Oh! -That's not supposed to be happening.

-Oh my god! It's on me. Oh!

-[Leung]: That's a bit weird. -[Simon screams]

-[Nurse]: Oh, okay.

-Ah, it's in my mouth. It's in my mouth.

-[Leung]: That's alright. -[Bobbi]: This shouldn't happen. [Simon screams]

♪ Music

-Oh Trudy? -Yeah?

-I'm pretty sure I'm going to be winning that pool.

So, you ah, might want to get my cash ready.

'Cause SeaRanda, I think they're back.

-Ohh, do you? -Yeah.

-Okay, I'll tell you what. I'm going to scoot back to my office and get your money.

And while I'm doing that, why don't you tell Jimmy

-Tell Jimmy...?

-Boom. -[Gerry]: No.

Jimmy's with Miranda? How? -Yup.

-That's not believable.

-I guess the pool ain't over, 'til it's over. Suckah!

♪ Music -No, that is not happening.

♪ Music

-Well, thanks for coming in Kate, I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

-Thank you, thanks for the opportunity.

-Yes Duncan?

-No, I just wanted to talk to Kate.

-You know Kate? -[Gerry]: Yup.

-[Kate]: Oh, just a little. -I met her...once.

-Alright. -[Kate]: Great to meet you.

What is it Gerry? -Why did we break up

-Come on Gerry, sit down. -No, no I want to. Oh boy.

-Okay, this was a long time ago. Okay?

So I think it's time that you moved on.

-No, no, no. Kate, I'm not asking for me.

Alright? I'm asking for my students.

They're some kids in the school, they're my favourite couple.

I caused them to break up and I don't know why.

What could we have done to have stayed together?

What went wrong? -Nothing.

-Nothing, that's what I thought. -Us breaking up was the best...

-Best thing. -Best thing that ever happened to me.

-Me as well. -I travelled.

-I got a job at Barrel's. -I learned so much about myself.

-I met Bill. -There, see?

If we hadn't broken up we wouldn't be the people we are today, Gerry.

-Well, I would still be the same person I am today.

-Okay. -[Gerry]: Alright.

-Well, good news is you managed to donate two litres of blood.

Granted, none of it went into a bag but you know, still.

-Here, you've earned it. Put it in your mouth.

-Any nuts in that? -[Leung]: No.

-Thanks.

-There's peanuts. -[Bobbi]: I'm allergic.

-Well, a peanut is a legume.

-That's not funny, I'm super allergic.

-Well, it is kind of funny not to know the difference between a nut and a legume.

-Yeah, that's funny. -I think I need to go to the hospital you guys.

Oh, is baby Bobbi feeling sick?

-My throat's closing up you guys. I need an Epi-pen.

-This is a good cookie.

-Robert, where are those teacher benefit figures I asked for?

You forgot, didn't you? -Sir.

-I've been asking for these for days. What is the problem here?

-What is the problem here? -That's what I want to know.

-Is that what you want to know? -Robert.

-How about I get those for you right away?

-What is wrong with you?

-What is wrong with me?

-...King Edward VIII gave up his throne to be with the woman he loved, Wallis Simpson.

-[Sean]: Against everyone else's better judgement, they sacrificed everything.

Especially they're future.

-[Both]: For love. -[Miranda]: The end.

-Not the end of you two.

Not Marc Antony and Cleopatra, but still a love story.

And I like it. You guys are back together.

-Thanks to you Sir. -Thanks to me, they're back together.

You got the whole, school thing figured out?

-Yup, we're not going. -Excuse me?

-We're going to stay here and be together like Edward and Wallis.

-Like who? -Edward VIII and the woman he loved.

Were you listening? -No, I wasn't listening.

I don't listen to the presentations all the time.

Okay, sit down. We're not done talking about this.

-Great project Sir. -Get out Jimmy.

♪ Music

♪ Music -You couldn't leave well enough alone, could ya?

You had to stick your nose in where it didn't belong.

And change the natural course of things.

You know, we try to actually get kids to go to college here, Gerry.

-Okay, I'm going to talk to them, I'm going to fix this.

But for now, I want my money, 'cause I won the pool.

Kept 'em together.

What are you doing? -Writing a cheque.

-A cheque? We gave you cash for that pool.

-Yeah, and it was two for one mojitos at Barrels last night.

-You're not supposed to do that. -I think you'll find that I can.

-I wouldn't cash that for about two weeks.

-Two weeks? You're ridiculous!

-Hey! -What?

-New pools. -What is it?

-Next student to get pregnant. -Yeah, I'm in, 'cause that'll be Brittany.

-She's already taken. -Brittany's gone.

I have no cash right now.

-Tiffany? -[Trudy]: Okay.

-Okay, I'm in.