Original subtitles

-[Gerry]: Alright girls. In order to start winning more games...

We gotta start scoring more points.

-[Lucy]: How can we score more points Sir?

-Three pointers! We're going to work on our three point shot.

Which a lot of teams at your age don't have.

So from where you're standing, that is worth three points.

Everybody, I'll feed the balls back. Let's see what you got.

-Watch this Sir! I can get it in.

-Okay, get it in Lucy.

Nice! That was a good one. Wasn't it?

[Girls giggle] -That was close.

Layups. Let's go back to just trying to make layups.

♪ Music -Two lines.

♪ I'm awesome, no you're not dude don't lie ♪

♪ I'm awesome, I'm driving around in my mom's ride ♪

♪ I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by ♪

♪ I'm awesome

♪ Music

-She's so cute. I like Rachel, I really do.

-She's so cute.

-I think I'm just gonna ask her out. Enough.

-Ah, you should know, she and I had a bit of a moment...

The other night after closing. -What do you mean "a moment"?

-Well, like, we were just talking and then our mouths,

kind of slowly high fived. For awhile.

-Why do you do that? You cut my grass.

I say I like someone, you back off. That's what friends do.

-Sorry man, I just...you were taking a long time.

-There's no time frame. Your friend says the like someone, you back off.

-This is my hunting ground. This is what I do, man.

You have your own hunting ground, man. School. Hot mom's.

That Scottish lady. You got all the other teachers, Lisa.

-I don't want Lisa. -[Bill]: She's so hot!

-I don't want Lisa. -Is it cool if I take a run at her?

-Why wouldn't you take a run at that?

You take a run at everything. -Right.

♪ Music

-Mr. Stratton, you have a book that's 30 days overdue.

You are a disgrace to the human race. Books are knowl...

-[Colin]: Whatever Sir. You'll get it when you get it, alright?

-You will get me my book.

-[Robert]: Mr. Leung!

Mr. Stratton run along. -Yes, you're dismissed.

-Mr. Leung, what on earth are you doing?

-My job. -You can't grab a student.

-I'm just enforcing discipline.

-If you're having discipline issues, you will send the students to me.

Do I make myself clear?

-Crystal. -[Robert]: Good.

-[Bobbi]: Yes, he's an interesting guy and it's...

Hey Gerry! -Hey Bobbi.

-Have you met my boyfriend Craig?

-Oh, this is your boyfriend Craig. -I wish.

-Okay, I'm going to see you in my office in about five minutes Mr. Lundy.

-Okay, thanks Ms. Galka. -Okay.

This is Craig. -Shut up!

-Hey man, heard a lot about you.

-You guys aren't playing a joke on me right now? That's Craig?

-Yup, that's Craig. -That's your boyfriend of all these...?

-That's my boyfriend. -Okay, oh.

-Just here to pick up Bobbi. -And you're super early, as usual, right?

And you knew I had a meeting right? Yes you did. Yeah ya did.

So, you're going to have to wait for, like, an hour now, 'cause I gotta go.

-Yeah, no problem. -Okay.

-Are you guys going to break up again right now? -I hope not.

-You know what? You're here anyway,

why don't you just go help Gerry with his basketball practice or something?

It's okay, he used to play ball in college so he'll be fine.

-Okay, yeah. I'm sure the girls would love that, if you're up for it.

-Not a problem, let's do it. -Okay, just meet me in the car in one hour.

-Yeah, no problem sweetie, I'll be there in 55 minutes. -Okay, don't be late. Okay.

-Love you. -I love you too.

-There she goes, Ms America. You got mirrors at home? No. Um.

-I'm not following. -Here's Bobbi, here's Bobbi, follow me.

-Okay. -Here's Bobbi, there's a guy like me.

-Yeah. -And there's a guy like you, see that? You're another level.

So you need a girl where...umm. -[Craig]: I'm not...

-It's just...it's... -What do you mean?

-A lot of people would see this, like I did and go:

What is this? Is she paying? -What?

-Well, it's, umm... Bobbi's a great girl. Wow.

She's pretty. But then there's another level that...

Ahhh.... Okay.

-Yeah. -See even that's like a...

♪ Music

-[Jimmy]: Hey, Mr. Hunt. Can we ask one last question about our crop.

-[Simon]: Sure Jimmy, of course. What's up?

-Okay, do we have to adjust the ph level in the soil when we harvest the wheatgrass?

-No, nothing need change at harvest.

-Okay, that's perfect. Thanks for the help.

-I'm just glad that you're taking such a keen interest in science.

-Science is awesome. -Science IS awesome.

Good luck with your wheatgrass. -Thanks Sir.

-You grow that wheatgrass. I'll continue to fertilize young minds.

-Thanks for helping out Sir. -[Craig]: No problem, good job girls.

-They're terrible, right? -Yeah, they're awful.

Actually painful to watch. I think I got worse just being around them.

-[Girls]: He's so cute. -[Gerry]: Don't I know.

-Want to play some one on one? -Yeah!

-It's hot. -[Gerry]: Yeah, it's...

-You look hot. Take your shirt off.

-Nope. I'm good.

-You look like you're dying of heat. You look hot.

-No, I feel...I feel a breeze.

I sweat a little bit, sometimes. But...

I gotta breeze, I think that's a breeze on my side.

-Craig! Good to see you again, bro. -Hey man, yeah, how's it going?

-[Dwyer]: Gerry, I'll see you tomorrow. -Yeah.

-Remember, inspiring minds, it's a beautiful thing.

-Man, is it just me? Or is he so fake?

-Thank you! I've been telling people that. Thank you!

-Yeah, like, everyone loves him. I just don't get it.

-Forget the one on one. Let's go for a drink.

-Yeah, I'm down for that. Let me just text Bobbi and ask her.

-Really? You have to ask Bobbi?

-Yeah, man. I don't want her to break up with me again.

I don't ever want to lose her, so.

-Why?

-Ahhh! Good one, good one. -Yeah, I was kidding.

-Mr. Cheeley? -Mr. Leung.

-I have Mr. Roberts here. He was caught defacing one of our sacred books.

-Oh dear. Mr. Roberts, have a seat.

Thank you Mr. Leung, for listening to me and letting me do my job.

-Of course. -So, Mr. Roberts...

-Mr. Cheeley, I have Mr. Stratton here.

He still hasn't returned his library book. -I didn't have any time.

-Shut your face. Sorry, it's a bad habit.

-Mr. Stratton, have a seat.

-Mr. Cheeley, I have Ms. Tilboy here, she was caught crying, in the library.

I also have Mr. Roberts, the older brother, he was caught sleeping, in the library.

I have Ms. Western, she was caught eating, in the library.

This young lady was swearing, in the library.

This gentleman here was playing some sort of pokemon.

-Thank you Mr. Leung. -Discipline.

♪ Music

♪ Music at bar

-[Craig]: I wouldn't say I'm a good golfer, but I love playing.

-I love to play too, we should play. -Yeah, let's do it.

-What are the odds we both love golf too? -Yeah.

-What are the odds two white guys in collared shirts love golf?

-Okay.

-You know Bill, they say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

-Yeah. That's what they say. Thank you.

-Hey, can I get you something? Like a drink or my phone number?

-No, but can you get me his number?

-Oh, me? Sorry, I'm taken. But my buddy Gerry here is single.

-Hello. [Whispers]: That's what buddies do.

-Hey, what's your name? -I'm sorry, I'm not interested, thanks.

-I don't know, I think she got a call or something.

-Don't worry about her. Man, you're too good for her anyway.

-[Gerry]: Let's drink! -[Bobbi]: Hey guys.

-Hi Bobbi. -She wanted to come, I hope that's okay.

-Excuse me. -[Gerry]: Yes, this is weird.

- Whoa, beers, hey? How many is that? -[Craig]: Yeah.

- It's only my second. -Of many.

-Yeah! -Or last one.

-[Gerry]: What?! -[Bobbi]: Baby, right? Yeah.

-Yeah, okay. -Fun! Honey, what are you doing? French fries?

-Yeah. -Remember how we talked?

About how you're gonna start eating better. Huh? And you promised me?

-Yeah, you're right. -Have a french fry, one, one!

-[Bobbi]: No, no, no! No! -[Gerry]: Let him have one french fry, Bobbi! Let him.

-[Bobbi]: No! No! No! Drop it! -[Gerry]: Don't drop it! GROSS!

♪ Music

-[Bill]: Hey man. What's goin' on? -What are you doing up so early?

-Early bird gets the Gerry. -What?

-I just thought we could talk. I haven't see you for awhile.

-Okay, let's talk. -Ah, we still on for Friday?

I got these two hotties who are up for some drinks!

It'll be good man, you get first choice. -I'm going to dinner with Craig.

He got us into Chez Sans Sans.

-Yeah, that's cool. Maybe I'll come with. All hang out, make it a guys night.

-It's pretty hard to get in to Chez Sans Sans, so we only got two, two of us.

If you got three, then where are you sitting.

-Oh yeah, a triangle would never work.

I can't come for configuration reasons?

It's just, it's crowded. It's a hard restaurant to get in to.

And we'd probably have a table and you're going to...

-Sounds romantic, you guys have a nice little candlelit dinner.

And white napkins, no that's fine.

-Next week...maybe. -You're blowing me off, is that what's going on here?

-See, Craig doesn't do that. Make me feel this big, he brings me up.

When I'm with Craig I feel up. I feel lifted.

-Really? -That's what he does, that's what a friend does.

-That's a beautiful sentiment. You enjoying being the third wheel in Bobbi's relationship?

-Well, they break up a lot. So soon, we'll just be two wheels.

Me and Craig. And you will be the third wheel. So the wheel will be on the other foot.

♪ Music

-Hello Trudy.

-You're a quick little bugger, aren't you?

-So, what was Mr. Cheeley's reaction to all the students I brought him?

Rage? Anger?

-Didn't seem to bother him at all. I think you're going to have to take it up a notch.

-Murder him. -Maybe half a notch.

-You are truly helpful.

-Cool, thanks Mr. Hunt. -You're very welcome.

-What's old Jimmy boy saying?

-Oh, he and his friends are working on a big science project.

So I'm helping them out. -Oh, Simon.

-They're growing wheatgrass. Nutritional drink, they're starting a business.

Isn't that...Ahhhhh! What? -Are you an idiot?

It's weed! He's growing weed!

And you, a teacher, are helping him.

-Wheatgrass. I know the codes for weed. Mary Jane.

-Listen, okay. -...Blunts, dopes.

-Jimmy is an idiot. He is not smart enough to grow weed alone.

So he's getting a science teacher and you don't even see this?

-He did say he'd cut me in on the action. -[Gerry]: Thank you.

Right now you're an accomplice. Keep leading him on. -Okay.

-Keep pretending you're into this. Go along with it. -[Simon]: Okay.

-Because we're going to catch him, and we're going to get him expelled.

-Yeah. -I need you to go on the other side.

I need you to get inside more on this.

-You flippin' me? -I don't know what that means.

I just need you to buy into, pretend, tag them along.

-'Cause I'll wear a wire. -No.

-No wire. Something nice and discreet on my chest.

-[Gerry whispers]: Oh boy. -I don't want to shave my chest hair though.

-[Gerry]: Okay, just keep leading him on. -'Cause it itches.

♪ Music

[Gerry Yawns Loudly]

-Late night for this guy. Last night.

Yup, I was out. Late.

-We're trying to get our work done Sir.

-Alright, let's take attendance. Sheila.

Jonathan. Lori.

Craig. Craig? What?

-Sir, there's no Craig in this class.

-Ohhh! Craig's my buddy I was out with last night.

What a guy. How many of you have a friend?

Okay, a really good looking friend?

Oh no, guys, some of you are friends. So that's not...

How many of you have a friend that could be a first class model, if they wanted?

That's what I thought. Jonathan! No you don't.

You shouldn't even have had your hand up the first question.

-My friend Carlo Baldessara was a model for JC Penney.

-Yeah, my friend Craig could sleep with JC...

[Class laughs]

-Penney. Back to work.

-What on earth is going on here? -Discipline is needed.

-Mr. Leung is just doing what you asked him to do Robert.

-You're all dismissed. Go on, go.

Have a great day. Learn. A little faster if you can.

-Mr. Leung, this has to stop.

For some reason, Principal Callaghan keeps you around here.

But you have to learn to respect my authority.

-No, you don't respect mine. And your tie is ugly.

-Is it? Well guess what.

Melville Dewey of the Dewey Decimal System was a fraud.

-Your mother is a filthy... -Hey, hey, hey, you two.

-My mother is a saint. -For money.

-Okay, that's enough.

Robert, is it true that you don't respect Wayne?

-I respect him fine.

-Wayne, how does it make you feel to know that Robert respects you?

-Warm, inside my body.

-Alright, Wayne, do you respect Robert?

-I don't not respect him.

-Warm. -[Trudy]: Good.

Okay, Robert, you say something nice about Wayne.

-Mr. Leung, you rule the library with an iron fist.

And I admire that. I do. -[Leung]: Hmmm.

-Leung? -I like relish...

...on my...toast.

-Jimmy DeGrazia of Elkhorn Drive.

-Hi. Mr. Hunt. -Grade 12 student. -Yeah.

-At Xavier Academy, how are things coming with the...?

-Wheatgrass. What is that? -Wheatgrass.

-Oh it's a yearbook thing.

-Hey guys, what's, ah, what? -Hi.

-What are you doing?

-Just thought I'd meet you here, I knew you were gonna be here.

So, I thought I'd swing by and make sure that everything went down smoothly.

Jimmy, I found you a potential buyer, you know Mr. Duncan.

-Heard you're starting a little wheatgrass business, Jimmy.

-[Jimmy]: Yeah. -Good for you.

-We don't have many customers yet, but we're hoping. -Yeah, well uh...

I heard that stuff's good for you. So how about I, become your first customer?

-[Jimmy]: Yeah? That'd be awesome.

-Ah good, how about $300 worth? Is that good?

-That's great. -So to confirm that figure is...

-$300. -[Simon]: $300.

-[Gerry]: $300. -I'll have it tomorrow.

-[Gerry]: Yeah, that's great. -[Jimmy]: Wow.

-Thanks again. -You're welcome.

-Nailed it. -What are you doing? Why...?

-Don't worry, he thought it was a yearbook thing.

-I think you're taking this too seriously. -Don't pull me out now Gerry.

I'm in too deep. I need you now, and I need this.

Do you know what guys like DeGrazia do to guys like me?

♪ Music

[Bobbi sings to herself]

-Hey Bobbi, can I ask you something?

-Yeah, go ahead. -First of all, congrats on Craig. What a great guy.

Man, good looking, athletic, funny, smart.

He's everything you'd want in a guy. How did you two...

How did you guys meet? How'd that happen? The two of you.

-Umm, I don't know. You know we met, we clicked and then we're on again, off again ever since.

-He's perfect! -[Bobbi]: Yeah.

-But I gotta be honest, I don't see what you bring to the table.

-Okay, that's not very nice. Why would you...?

-I'm just saying, I mean I could see if he got you pregnant.

That would make sense, why he stuck with you all this time, but...

I don't know, it's just a mystery to me that he's voluntarily stayed with you.

-Is that what you wanted to talk to me about? -[Gerry]: No.

-Because it's really... -No, it's not. Okay.

I didn't come to fight. -[Bobbi]: Great.

-I'd like to know if Craig and I, just Craig and I, can go to the driving range together?

Just the two of us. -Actually, he can't make it now.

-Why not? -Because he went out already once this week.

And we feel like that is enough. -Okay, I'll go with him next week. How's that?

-Not available next week, 'cause we have a thing.

-I see what's going on. This is about me thinking he's better than you.

-No, we've spoken about this, Craig and I.

And we feel like he can't start going out all the time, with you.

-Does Craig feel this way? -[Gerry]: Yeah.

-Yeah, yeah he does. -My Craig?

-He's my Craig. Okay? My Craig, my boyfriend. Not yours.

-[Gerry]: Yeah, okay. He's our Craig. -He's not our Craig, Gerry.

Think about it. I sleep with him. Do you?

God.

-Malik and Gerry? Drive the balls together? ♪ Music

-No Malik, I don't want to drive balls.

♪ Music

-You look sad Mr. D. -I'm fine Kira.

-If you want to talk, I'm here for you.

I'm your friend.

-Oh, look who it is, Mr. Bobbi Galka.

-Listen Gerry, I'm sorry about all this. -You should be.

-[Kira]: Yeah!! -Kira. Layups.

-Mmmm, I don't like layups. -Go do layups, thank you.

-I'm sorry I had to cancel our golfing day.

-[Gerry]: I guess mommy wouldn't let you come out and play.

-What's going on here? -Are you kidding me right now?

I was just going to see if Craig could come out and play with us, with your permission.

-Stop manipulating him to go out with you, okay?

-What is he your ch... -[Bobbi]: No.

-[Gerry]: Are you kidding me right now Bill? -Hey man. Just...

-[Gerry]: Wow, look at the blue shirt twins.

-[Bill]: Are you serious? -What are you doing here?

-I just thought maybe we could talk, 'cause things are, like, getting a little weird.

-[Kira]: Sir. -Kira, not now.

-There's no drinking beer on school property Sir. -[Gerry]: Go.

-I don't need that from her. -Yeah, you brought beer in front of the kids.

What are you, an idiot? -Sir?

-Not now Kira. -No, but Sir, Lucy hurt her ankle.

[Lucy is crying]

-This is your fault. See what you did?

-See what you did? -[Gerry]: You stop. Go. Go.

[Lucy is crying] Watch out girls. Lucy.

-What are you, like, 6'3"? -He's 6'4", okay Bill? Go wait in the car.

♪ Music

-Do you still have the student pools, where you get money for which couples break up?

-Yes, the buy in is 20 bucks. -I want in, okay?

-Yup. -I've learned so much this past year.

I just wish there were bonus points for who ends up preggers.

-There are. -Hello Mr. Cheeley.

-Hello Mr. Leung. How are you today?

-My life is richly adequate.

-How are you? Today?

-Dandy. Just dandy.

-[Trudy]: This is nice. In a creepy unsettling kind of way.

-I'm glad this all worked out. -Me too.

-This won't last.

-I know.

-Alright, I told him to meet us back here, we'll catch him red-handed.

And then it's bye bye Jimmy. -Yeah.

-And you're stoner friends. Oh, here they are.

Hey boys. -[Simon]: Fellas.

-That's a lot of, ah, 'wheatgrass'.

-It is, but we wanted to give you a little extra, since you're our first customer.

-Maybe have some wheatgrass brownies later?

Yeah we're excited about your wheatgrass.

-Poster of Bob Marley? With little pictures of Bob Marley inside of it.

-[Gerry]: That's enough, that's enough. That's enough. -Building up a larger picture.

-We brought some for Mr. Hunt too, he helped us out.

-How considerate. How do we know it's good?

-Yeah, let's see the stuff, make sure it's real. Pure.

-Okay, of course. We brought test glasses.

-What do you mean glasses of... -[Jimmy]: You guys can try it out.

It will give you more energy. And improve your mental clarity.

-You could use that. This looks a lot like wheatgrass.

-It is wheatgrass. We're idiots. -Nooo, you're an idiot.

One wheatgrass please. -Here you go.

Do you want one? -Yeah, down this stuff every day of my life.

-[Simon]: Oooh. -It's good?

-It's all clear. It's becoming clear.

-It doesn't do anything shut up. -That'll be 300 bucks.

-Hundred and fifty each. I think is...

-No, I don't believe I bought any. Gentlemen, well done with science.

-Yeah, good work guys. You're entrepreneurs.

-Glad everything worked out. -Okay, I'll bring you that money next week.

That's good stuff. I just gotta get paid.

♪ Music

♪ Music -[Student]: Alright man, where is it?

-[Jimmy]: It's coming. -[Gerry]: Stop following me, would ya?

-Three hundred dollars. -[Jimmy]: Thank you.

-And you're right, I do feel better, it's...

-[Jimmy]: I told you. Body and mind.

-Yeah, it's good stuff. I like it.

Tell these guys to get off my back.

-Premium wheatgrass. Enjoy. -Thanks.