Original subtitles

"[Music plays in car]" ♪ These Dreams, Heart

♪ These dreams in the mist

[Gerry Singing Along]: ♪ Darkness on the edge

♪ Shadows where I stand, shadows where I stand ♪

♪ I search for the time on a watch with no hands ♪

♪ I want to see you clearly Come closer than this ♪

♪ But all I remember

♪ Are the dreams in the mist

♪ These dreams go on when I close my eyes ♪ [Gerry gets upset]

♪ Every second of the night I live another life ♪

♪ These dreams that sleep when it's cold outside ♪

♪ Every moment I'm awake... [Crash sound, breaks squeal]

"[Music continues]" ...the further I'm away ♪

-[Gerry whispers]: I hate cops.

♪ Is it cloak n dagger

-[Police Officer]: Turn it down. [Music stops]

-[Gerry]: Sorry guys, sorry. -What are you doing Sir?

-It just sprung off my foot. -Is everything okay Sir?

-Ahh, allergies, pollen, feel it?

-You weren't crying to that song were you?

-No! Heart? No. I don't listen to Heart.

Yuck, who plays Heart...Anymore?

-Well, there's no damage and we can't give a guy a ticket who's

been crying by himself in a car listening to...obviously, Heart.

-[Gerry]: Heart, yeah right. As if.

-Maybe we can call crybaby's mommy to come pick him up.

-Call your mom to pick you up? -Maybe get you a sooky dip it in some applesauce.

-You like a little applesauce on that? Hmmm?

-Crushed up carrots will help baby's eyesight.

-A little crushed up carrots, yeah.

-Maybe you guys should be bike cops. -Pardon?

-Yeah, how you gonna chase people with that donut holder?

-[Police Officer]: Whoa, Sir!

-We got a 10-45 assault on a police officer requesting back up.

-What? -[Police Officer]: Hands on the hood Sir, spread 'em.

-[Gerry]: Back up for what? -That's too wide.

-[Gerry]: I don't know how far to spread 'em.

You guys don't listen to Heart Come on! Everyone loves Heart.

Don't even deny it. ♪ Music

♪ I'm awesome. No you're not dude, don't lie ♪

♪ I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's ride ♪

♪ I'm awesome. A quarter of my life gone by ♪

♪ I'm awesome

-[Gerry whispers]: Oh God. -Sir, you realize there's a

speed limit in the school parking lot, don't you?

-Kira, you should probably be more concerned about the

tests that I just marked.

-Oh, you mean the one we wrote last month?

-Yeah, okay, well I have other things I do with my life Kira.

Then mark papers all day. Okay?

-But you're not married, do you even have a girlfriend?

-Okay, what does that have...

First of all, it's none of your business.

Secondly, it's the 21st Century, I could have a boyfriend.

You ever think of that? -Do you?

-No, I don't Ms. Homophobic, but get to class, please.

-My dad always said that any man over the age of 30,

who's single, is a loser. -Okay, first of all:

what makes you think that I'm over the age of 30?

And second of all:

It sounds to me like your dad is a bit of a loser.

-I wouldn't know, he left when I was seven.

-He lef...he...? What? No!

Can't blame him.

♪ Music

-[Ms. Hunt]: Have a great day pumpkin.

-[Simon]: Thanks.

-[Simon]: Whoa Jimmy, hot ride. -[Jimmy]: Hey, thanks Sir.

-Is that a 6L? -Yeah, it is.

-Cool, heard the 12L is off all the hooks.

-Yeah, what? The 12L?

-Yeah, you never heard of the 12L? Tons of space for gas.

-Yeah. Sir, why don't you drive anymore?

-Oh, I never have actually. [Car horn sounds]

Bye mom. Never got around to getting my driver's license.

Busy... -Yeah.

-Your mom is attractive. -What's that?

-[Jimmy]: Hot! [Lisa]: Jimmy! Inappropriate. Get to class.

-Okay. -It's his mother.

-Thanks Jimmy. -Simon, you can't let him talk to you like that.

-Why, you jealous? -No! Why would I be jealous?

-I don't know. Are we flirting right now?

-No. Maybe it's time that you get your license.

So your mom doesn't have to drop you off every morning.

-Oh, I don't want to talk about that let's get back to flirting.

Do you have any weird stuff in your purse?

-Did you know, Mr. Leung teaches Driver's Ed after school?

-Did you know that Mr. Leung hates you?

-Thanks, Simon. Thanks.

Go see Leung.

-Looks like someone's it for a game of flirt tag.

-Democracy and freedom do not work too well if you are...?

-[Kira]: Ooh! -[Gerry]: Yes?

-Sir, you forgot an 'o' on the word 'too'.

-Kira I know you're new but at this school when we raise our hand we wait for the teacher.

-Sir, you know why it's two 'o's' right?

-Yes I do. -Why?

-Kira, did you transfer to this school to annoy me everyday?

-Is that your job in life? -I don't know, maybe it is.

-Oh, maybe it is? Huh. How many people find the new girl, Kira, annoying?

Raise your hand. Nice and high. Way up! Come on.

Don't worry, she's not gonna do anything. Oh, come on Lucy.

She's twice as annoying as you. This is great for you that she's here.

Until she came, you were the annoying girl.

Thank you. And that is democracy in action.

A majority.

Put your hands down.

And now I'll go put an 'o' on the board for you Kira, alright?

Here we go. Look Kira.

That's for you, okay?

-A reminder that staff parking is for staff only.

Any students caught parking in the staff parking lot will have their car towed and sold.

[Laugh track sounds, from Robert's phone]

-Finally, there is a student council meeting today after school in room 321.

Have a great day everyone.

[Applause sounds from Robert's phone]

-That's not bad Robert. -Pretty cool, right?

-Yeah. -Check this one out.

[Robert's phone says: Me so horrrnyyyy]

-Umm, hang on. Your finger has to be right on the thing, otherwise it'll, here.

[Phone plays: Number one vice principal]

-Bye Robert. [Number 1 vice principal continues]

-Yup. [Vice principal continues]

-Have you seen Lisa? -[Bobbi]: No.

-Hey, do you teach this Kira McGrory girl?

-No. Why won't this print on both sides?

-Well you're lucky, she's annoying as hell. -[Bobbi sighs]

-Do you know if we can transfer kids to another class if we don't like them?

-No, you can't Gerry. Listen, as teacher's it's our job right?

With the younger kids to help them develop.

So we have to nurture them. -Blah, blah, blah.

-Okay, alright. -We should be allowed to trade kids, like in sports.

You don't like 'em, you trade 'em. [Bobbi]: Yeah, great idea.

-Want some help? -No! I'm fine. Okay? Thanks.

-I can get by you if I want. Okay?

[Gerry]: Ooh!

[Gerry]: That hurt.

Salt.

-You talk again in my library and I will hurt you.

-I don't know if you can say that to me Sir.

-Do you see any witnesses?

If you say anything, I'll deny it. No one's here to help you.

Go! Get out of here.

-Hey Wayne. -Hi Simon.

-It's weird, I didn't know you taught driving lessons after school.

-Why is that weird Simon?

Because you don't think Chinese people can drive?

-No, that's not something I think.

Although, are you technically Chinese? -You're not ready.

-Why not? -Excellent question.

-Now you're ready. See me tomorrow.

-Okay, what time?

-Now you're not ready. -No, I'm ready.

-Now you're ready again. Welcome back to being ready.

-Okay, thank you. -I'll see you tomorrow.

-[Simon]: Okay. -[Leung]: Go.

-Alright. 3PM? I'll figure it out, thank you, thank you.

-Yeah, no, I had to just leave a little bit early.

Alright, yeah I'll catch you then, okay, bye, bye, bye.

Can I help you? -Sorry, you're Scottish.

-I am, yeah. -I'm Scottish.

-No, no you're not. -Yeah, I am.

-Well, your parents, grandparents might be?

That collar is definitely Scottish.

-And that collar is Scottish. -You're not though.

-[Gerry with Scottish accent]: Oh is that right?

'Cause my dad's Scottish and my mum's Scottish and my brother and sister are Scottish.

So that makes me Scottish. What if I spoke like this? The whole time?

Alright, shut it, you shut it no you shut it. See?

-Okay, that's um, that's actually quite good.

Okay. -Can I help you with something?

-No thanks, I'm here to pick up my daughter.

-Well, they don't get out for another hour. So...

-I know, I know. Actually, a teacher upset her quite a bit.

So, I thought I'd come and get her.

Oh, why? Ah, some tea... -[Mom]: Mmmm.

-Okay, well maybe I'll run into you again.

-Yeah, maybe, you know, no promises.

-No promises for me either.

-[Kira]: Mom? Mommy. -Mommy?

[Gerry]: No, that's your mom Kira? No!

Oh Kira.

♪ Music Why is she your mom Kira?

♪ Music

-Hope that's not Gerry's juice you're drinking.

-Hmm, nope.

-Hey Bill, I think I met my wife yesterday.

-[Bill]: Again? -[Gerry]: Shut up. Just listen.

She's Scottish, I'm Scottish.

-[Bill]: No, your parents are Scottish, you were born here.

-It's not about where you're born all the time Bill.

If I was born in a pig pen would that make me a pig?

No I'm still human. Just listen. -I'm listening.

-Problem is this: her daughter's in my class

-Oh, she's got a kid? -Yes, she's got a kid.

A very annoying kid. But the mom is amazing.

-You don't even know her. -Just...I know her, I can tell.

-You don't know her. -Tell me what to do about the kid.

You've probably had that scenario before.

-No! No, when I hear there's a kid, I'm gone.

-Oh, I should have known. That's true. -Just get the kid to like you.

-That's the problem, I was pretty mean to her yesterday.

-You'll figure it out. I got business to tend to.

-You don't drink coffee. -It's not for me.

By the way, we're out of Gerry's milk.

-What? You drank Gerry's milk?

Why'd you do that?

That's why Gerry's milk has Gerry's milk on it.

[Recorder being played]

[Recorder being played]

-[Whispers]: You're on. -Good morning everyone.

-Two, three, four. [Robert plays music]

-[Singing]: Today we start the food drive.

-[Robert]: The food drive. -So make sure that your

homeroom teacher shows you where to put your non-perishable item.

-Like... -...peas -In a can.

-Babycorn -In a can.

-Baby carrots -In a can.

-And bananas, no you can't... -[Both]: In a can.

♪ Music

-Oh, boo boo, boopy do. [Robert plays the flute]

-The breaking news train has just pulled into the station.

[Muffled]: The soccer game originally scheduled for tomorrow,

has been cancelled. [Muffled, inaudible]

[Muffled] ...Over!

-And you've been listening to the gator...

And Trudy, in the morning.

[Applause from phone]

-And we're clear.

-Ohhhhh. Okay, that was great.

It's like a little concert for them in the morning, they must love it.

-Oh yeah, of course they do. So, same time tomorrow?

-You got it girlfriend. -Don't talk to me until then.

No really.

-Alright, today we are going to start working on an assignment.

-Can you tell us what the assignment is Sir?

-Kira! Ah...

Yes Kira, I will tell you what the assignment is.

You're going to write a story about your mother.

Since mother's day is coming up. -Sir, mother's day is in May.

-Okay, and May is only a few months away Stephan, alright?

So, you'll write a story about your mother and her likes.

Hobbies, places she likes to go, things she likes to do

Also I'd like to know if there's any other adults in the house.

But not brother's and sister's, just different adults.

I'd like to know that, okay? Yes, Lucy?

-Sir, what about grandparents?

-I don't need to know if grandparents are in the house. Okay?

-What is it out of and when is it due?

-Great questions, it is out of 20 and it is due next class.

But here's the catch. The best assignment, the highest

mark on this story is going to win Xavier's new award for:

Best Mother/Daughter in... Best Mother/Child in the school.

And I will present it to you and your mother, after school.

-Sir, what if our mother has to work?

-Stephan.

Have you ever had the highest mark in anything in this class?

-No Sir. -No, so you're point is moot.

-Can someone please tell Stephan what the word moot means?

-It means you can't talk. -No, okay, that's mute.

But that works too. Mute. -Sorry Stephan, I was mixing up.

-Lucy, it's fine.

-Sorry Sir, I was just explaining.

-Yup, mute, mute. Okay?

Let's get started. Kira, collect last night's homework.

I'd also like Kira to take the attendance to the office.

How about a hand for Kira, she's doing a lot today. -Thank you, thank you.

All this help and good questions. She's doing a really good job. Alright.

Kira, Kira bobira, banana fanna bofira, Kira bobira.

-Ten and two.

-What happens if one slips to nine or three?

-Then you crash, and then you die.

-Okay, got it.

[Car horn sounds]

-See, when people honk, that scares me. [Car horn sounds]

-I can smell your fear. -How do you stay so calm?

-It's just mind over matter.

[Car horn sounds] [Woman]: Come on, come on.

-Okay. [Car horn sounds]

-Excuse me. -Where are you going?

[Car horn sounds] -What are you doing with the bat?

-Honk again, honk one more time.

Yeah.

-Thank you. -Ten and two.

-Yeah. -Old people.

♪ Music

-Aand, there you are.

Okay! One left. Kira, stand up please.

Face your classmates.

Because Kira McGrory got 21 out of 20, bonus mark for this assignment.

Which means, Kira and her mother are this year's Xavier award, parent/child winners.

-Thank you Mr. D! -You are welcome.

How about a hand for Kira! Okay, alright, that's good.

Yeah, too much. Go have a seat.

So I'm going to need you to call your mother today.

See if she can come in after school and I will give you the award in front of her.

-[Whispers]: I will Sir. -Alright. Another hand for Kira!

-[Sound of Gerry clapping]

-Jealousy.

-Check your mirrors. -Check.

-Foot on the brake. -Foot is on the brake.

-Turn on the ignition. -Ignition, started.

-Do you know what I smell Simon?

No fear. Put the car in drive.

-Car is in drive. -Now, just a little gas.

-Okay.

-[Thump, sound of dog whimpering]

-Did I hit a dog? -Yes you did.

-Oh! -[Dog barking]

-Oh, thank god, he's not dead. -I will take care of it.

-No! No, Wayne. No.

-Fine.

-Hi Mr. D! -Hi Kira.

-I made something in art for you.

-Nice, thank you very much. D, with a heart, for me.

What am I supposed to do with this?

-Keep it. Forever. -And if I smoke it's an ashtray.

I don't smoke. Did you call your mom? -Yup!

-When is she coming in? -She's not, has to work.

-Ohh. -I have to take the bus home tonight.

-That's great, okay. -Sir, you're my new favourite teacher.

-Oh. -Congratulations.

-Thank you. Okay. -I'm going to make sure I'm in all your classes, every year.

-Perfect, why wouldn't you? Thanks Kira. -Bye Mr. D.

-Bye Kira. ♪ Music

[Music over PA] -[Robert]: It's Trudy and the Gator in the morning.

It's Trudy and the Gator... Gator in the morning.

It's Trudy, it's Trudy and Gator.

-Hey! Just a little heads up.

Kira McGrory girl's gonna transfer from my class to your class.

She's got a scheduling thing so. -What?

We teach the same grade at the same time, how could that be a scheduling conflict?

And that means I'm going to have 32 kids in my class. No way.

-Well it's happening, so I'm just preaching the news.

-Well, I'm gonna have to talk to Callaghan.

-Okay, fine, fine. Look this girl's driving me nuts.

Okay? And I don't want to teach her anymore.

So just take her, she's got a crush on me too which makes it worse.

-I had the same... -No you didn't, don't lie straight to my face.

-Bye Gerry. Good luck with Kira.

-You never had a crush on you. Pfft.

♪ Music

-Trudy, what are all these parents doing here?

-You screwed up the announcements.

No one heard that the soccer game was cancelled.

-Oh! Callaghan's not going to be happy, huh?

-He isn't, and I explained to him how it was all your fault.

-My fault? But we're a team. Trudy and the Gator in the morning.

-Mr. Cheeley, in my office please.

-Do you want to see Trudy too? -Nope, just The Gator.

-Someone's a fan.

-You think?

-Good. Let's start today... -Wayne!

I can't do this anymore.

I don't want to hurt anyone, or anything.

-What are you saying to me? -I have to quit.

-No, you're not ready to quit.

-I really don't want to do this anymore.

-Now you're ready to quit.

-Hi again.

-Hello big man, hello wee man, hello again wee'un.

-Wee...? -Hi Mom.

-Hi. Yeah, you can go ahead and drop the Scottish thing.

[Scottish accent]: Alright. No more. There she is.

-Hey darlin'. -You met Mr. D! He is the best.

-You're Mr. D? -Yes.

We missed you at an awards presentation yesterday.

-It's called a ceremony. -Big awards ceremony.

-Yes, a really important one. -Yes.

-Shame. -Sarcasm, I like it, haha.

[Lisa]: Gerry. -Yeah, so.

-Okay. -[Lisa]: Hi Gerry.

-[Kira]: What's for dinner? -[Jean]: What do you want?

-Umm, macaroni! -Great, are you hungry?

-Yup! -So, we'll have to reschedule...

We'll have to reschedule so we can meet again.

-Yeah, we will have to do that. -Okay, and I will call you to do that.

-Great. Okay. -Bye Kira.

-See ya tomorrow. -Yeah, I can't wait.

-Later. -Okay, you waved already.

-Bye! -Alright, I get it Kira, bye.

Gosh. ♪ Music

♪ Music

[Phone ringing]

[Kira's voice on phone] Hi, you have reached the McGrory's.

We aren't here to take your call right now.

So please leave a message at the beep...Beeeep!

-Hey it's Mr. D calling, just... -[Kira]: Just kidding!

Here comes the real beep. Beep.

-Hey McGrory... -[Kira]: Gotcha again!

-Shut up Kira. -I promise, here it comes.

[Beep] -Hey, hey, it's Mr. D from...

ah, the school calling, yeah I think this is going through now.

Anyway, just wanted to follow up about getting you that award.

That you have both won, congratulations again.

Thought I'd maybe bring it in and maybe meet at the school.

Or we could do it at like a restaurant, in the night.

Ummm, maybe when Kira's asleep, with a babysitter

No, bring Kira, I was kidding, I'd really like Kira to come.

Ah, or not, I guess. I don't know.

You, it's your family, why would I tell you in a voice message?

That's um...anyway, blah, blah, blah. Look at me, going on.

I just really want to make sure that I get...it's clear...

That I'm... [Beeping noise]

-Hmmm, never let's you go long.