Original subtitles

[School bell sounds]

-20 minutes left.

Yes Nathan. -Sir, we have to go.

Oh! Yeah, sorry guys. Our athletes.

-Sir, why do they get to leave? -Because they have a game Ben.

-Sir, I didn't get through much of my test.

-Oh, okay.

-I didn't get much done either Sir.

-Ahhh, okay. Ahhh, take them home alright?

Play the game, take them home, bring them back tomorrow.

Perfect! Solves that problem, okay?

Hey! Let me ask you this. What's it like at the games?

A lot of girls probably go eh? Is that fun?

Playing in front of all the girls, that's gotta be cool.

-You just, you try and focus on the game.

-Yeah, true. What about you Nathan?

-Ummm...Sir, this is getting a little awkward.

I think we should take off now. -I know, 'cause we're all... okay.

[Gerry]: Win one for the school. Okay?

I'll walk you out. Loosen up, stay loose.

Athletes.

Athlete.

If you were an athlete you might get some girls.

-How would...? -[Gerry]: Shhh! Sh, sh, sh!

♪ Music -You're writing a test, no talking.

♪ I'm awesome, no you're not dude don't lie ♪

♪ I'm awesome, I'm driving around in my mom's ride ♪

♪ I'm awesome, a quarter of my life gone by ♪

♪ I'm awesome

-You should come to Barrels tomorrow night.

We'll get hammered. -Oh my god!

Do you ever remember anything? I got a field trip to Boston!

I got Celtics tickets. -Mmmm! Right.

-Yeah, remember? You're coming. -Right, senior class trip.

-Thank you. Saved you a seat on the bus.

-No! I am not taking a bus with a bunch of high school kids. I'll fly.

-How can you afford to fly? -I know a flight attendant.

Just give me my ticket, I'll meet you at the game.

-Alright, Celtics! Larry Bird. -Yeah! This is gonna be great.

Although, we could have gone to Boston on our own time.

We didn't have to make it like a field trip with kids.

-You're not thinking. My trip is free.

The school's paying for me to go to a Celtics game in Boston.

Free bus, free hotel, it's like a paid vacation.

-Sweet man! You get a per diem? -A what?

-Like a stipend. -Is everything a joke to you?

-I gotta go.

-Hey Simon. -Hey.

-I have a huge favour to ask you.

-Anything, literally anything. -Oh great.

Um, I'm having a really hard time getting my grades into the marking software.

Could you help me out with that? -Sure, yeah. How about tonight?

-Not tonight, I can't. Ah, tomorrow?

-Oh, I'm going on the overnight with Gerry.

[Whispers]: He got us both tickets to the Celtics game.

-Oh! Wow! That... -[Whispers]: Don't tell her.

-That sounds really wrong. -It is, yeah.

Anyway, I wish I could help you with this. -It's okay.

-If I'd known sooner. -Yeah don't worry about it.

-[Simon]: See ya. Okay. -I'll figure something out.

-Wow, you dodged a bullet there. Huh?

He has the big old crush on you, you would have been there all night.

-That's not a crush. That's just Simon.

-Oh, right.

Well don't be surprised when he shows up with your name tattooed on his neck.

-I don't think that's what happens when someone has a crush.

-[Trudy]: It does in my world. Weird little fellow, isn't he?

-Mr. Duncan. Can we have a word about this Boston itinerary?

-What's ah... What's wrong with it?

-Well, how can I put this? I'm so insanely jealous!

I want to cut your brake lines and watch you parish,

at the bottom of a ravine so deep no one can even hear your cries for help.

-Don't be jealous. -I love this itinerary Gerry.

Kennedy museum, have you been? -No. Looking forward to it.

The Kennedy's are like Boston's royal family. -Yeah.

-When JFK Jr. died it was such a waste of handsome.

-Alright, I gotta go to class. Glad you like it.

-Ah Gerry? I did notice one minor detail.

You've only allotted 15 minutes to get from the Science Museum to the Kennedy Museum.

Boston traffic, it's not going to happen.

-Oversight. So, I'll fix that.

And I'm going to bring you back a t-shirt from the Kennedy Museum.

-No way. -Yeah.

-Ich bin ein grateful, Gerry.

-Great. -It's what Kennedy said.

-Whatever that means. ♪ Music

-I'm still missing some permission forms for the Boston trip.

Can I get those please. -Sir, why Boston?

-Why do you have questions all the time? Boston!

It's a history course. Do you know how much history took place in Boston?

First marathon, Boston! Won by a Kenyan, maybe on a school trip.

Maya, maybe you'll win the marathon.

Sir, it's called a marathon, because the first marathon was run in Marathon, Greece.

Are you listening to this? Marathon, Greece?

-[Maya]: Yeah. -Is that right next to the city 10-K?

[Class laughs]

-What about Montreal? Or Ottawa?

-Yeah, why don't we go there Ben, so you can get wasted.

You think I'm stupid? Sneak over to Hull? To Les Dancers?

Is that what you want? Go see Les Dancers? Huh?

I know what happens on these overnight trips.

We are going to the United States of America.

Because you need to be 21 to drink.

Which means none of you can drink on this field trip.

Although, Jimmy, you keep failing this class...

You're going to be 21 pretty soon.

[Class laughs] -That's not funny.

-It was funny, it was very funny. I thought it was funny.

♪ Music

-Alright, we'll get the kids back to the hotel. I'll pay a security guard to watch them...

-And then we'll go to a Celtics game! -No, come here Simon.

Look, you don't understand.

We don't go to a Celtics game. I'm going to a Celtics game.

-Not alone you're not. Boston can be a dangerous city Gerry.

-I'm not going alone, I'm going with a friend.

-Ohhh, thanks.

-Simon, my friend Bill is who I'm going with.

-What? I thought we were friends. -I've told you this before.

I have friends and I have work friends. You fall somewhere outside of that.

-But the whole point of this trip was to go to a Celtics game.

-And I'm going to a Celtics game, but with Bill.

-What's all this Bill stuff I keep hearing about? Is there something going on with you two?

-No! -Because I'm hearing a lot about you and Bill.

-We're Celtics fans. -I like the Celtics.

-Okay, I'll tell you what, name five players and you can come. -You got it!

-Go! -Juon...Jamille...

Otis, can't do it! -No you can't, that's why you're not coming.

-No, you know what? Ultimatum time.

You take me to that Celtics game, or else! -Or else what?

-I cancelled my trip to Boston. -You didn't do that for me, did you?

-What if I did? -Oh Simon, I don't think that...

-Ssshhh! What's done is done.

Now I can help you with your marking software.

-Okay. Okay, but that is what this is about right?

-Yeah, what else would it be about?

-Exactly!

-Me and you putting everything inside my brain into your brain.

-Right, right.

-We're going to put a little Simon inside you.

-Oh God.

-No, Duncan, if you're going to take that many students

on an overnight trip, you have to have two teachers.

-I can handle that many kids myself.

Fine, I'll go find another teacher right now.

-Well, you better get on it, otherwise you have to cancel. -Cancel what? Boston? Why?

-Simon's out. -I'll go.

-Thank you Robert, that's nice, but I'm going to get another teacher.

-That doesn't make sense. You're going to get another teacher?

Then you're going to need a sub to cover off that teacher. I'm available.

-Robert, you know as well as I do, vice principals do not go on overnight trips.

-Exactly, so see you later. -Wait, sshh.

-Unless they bring me back a Harvard hoodie.

-[Gerry quietly]: Oh boy. -Eh oh! Huh?

-I'm going to Boston, with you. -[Gerry quietly]: Alright.

-I'm gonna get some clam chowda!

-Okay, thank you Robert. -Yeah. ♪ Music

♪ Music

-Welcome to Harvard University.

One of the best schools in the world.

I almost went here. Actually. So it's nice to be here.

And this is Mr. John Hancock, who is an alumni of Harvard.

And also signed the...anyone? The Magna Carta.

-He signed the Declaration of Independence.

-Yes! Sorry. Maya's right, I always mix those two up.

They are so close together that I always confuse them.

-So why is it called Harvard? -Good question Jimmy.

Harvard is called Harvard because it comes from the Latin term vard which means very.

And the English term hard, so they got Hard Vard.

And that is pretty much when Harvard blended into that.

It's also a very hard school to get into so Hard Vard makes perfect sense.

-It was named after it's first benefactor Sir.

John Harvard. -So, let us move on.

Let's head out. That was fun.

You're welcome, Sir Hancock.

-Move on? Not from Harvard. The tour's not over. -What?

-It doesn't say 'A tour of a statue', it says 'A tour of Harvard'.

We didn't even go inside. -Yeah, that's all they'd let me do.

-Did you even ask if we could go inside? -Haha, nice.

Yeah, it was a lot of phone calls, emails.

-I thought we were going to audit a class, it's a learn-cation.

-It's very hard to get into this school academically and it's very hard to get in physically.

You can't just wander around Harvard Robert.

-I find that vard hard to believe Gerry.

-Vard hard? Good one, that's good. Yeah.

-Yeah, Magna Carta. Try to keep your facts straight.

-[Gerry]: Like you don't mix those two up. Everybody does.

♪ Music

-[Robert]: Mr. Duncan, I'm looking for filthy alley on this itinerary, yet I don't see it.

-Mr. Cheeley, I don't live in Boston so perhaps I'm a little lost.

But I promise, I will get us back to the hotel through the alley, okay?

-Wait, back to the hotel already?

We've been wandering aimlessly for hours and we're already going back to the hotel?

-That is sightseeing which is on the itinerary.

-This trip's kind of boring Sir. -What? Ben, you're boring.

I don't know why I let you come on this trip, to be honest.

-When are we going to do something fun?

-Fun Maya? This is a field trip, this is educational. This isn't for your amusement or your fun.

-You kids want to buy some dope?

-Oh my god. Let's go. I will show you fun, alright?

I will tell you we are going to the next, it's four o'clock.

It's four o'clock now, which means, the next time I will see you is breakfast at 9 am.

Because, you have some free time.

-Sir, what are we going to do with 17 hours of free time?

-I don't know but you're in high school, you're in Boston, have fun, maybe?

Just get out of my face, I don't want to see you for 17 hours.

Go, stay out of trouble. Don't get arrested.

Don't do anything stupid. I'll see you at 9 am for breakfast.

-Huh? -Mr. Duncan?

-What? -Just come clean. This entire trip's been a sham.

-Not a sham. There's an itinerary and I have followed everything.

-We didn't even stop at the Kennedy Museum.

-It doesn't say stop, it says we will see the Kennedy Museum. -And we saw it when we drove by.

-I did not fall off a turnip truck yesterday, just come clean. Just tell me the truth.

-When saws the last time you had fun, Robert? Never.

[Cell phone sounds] -We're going to have fun. I gotta take this call.

Hey, make it quick Bill. [Girls cheer]

-Hey, I need a wing man. I'm at a bar near the arena.

Come grab some drinks before the game.

-I'm trying to get there but I got kids here.

-Hurry up man, things just got kind of interesting over here.

-I'm trying to get Robert off my back. -Yeah.

-Okay, I gotta go Robert. 9 am breakfast.

-You want to buy some dope? -Do you want to buy some soap?

[♪ Music playing at bar] -Ladies. Bachelorette parties are all about regret right?

[Women cheer]

-Everything okay?

-Yeah, you just gave up a lot to be here, and... -[Simon]: Ohhh.

-I just don't want to give you the wrong impression.

-Oh no, no, it's just friends helping friends. That's what friends are for.

-Friends! Right, good friends even.

-Friends with benefits. -[Lisa sighs]

Look, I think you're a really, really nice guy, and...

I'm just not feeling that way about you. You know?

And it's not that I'm not attracted to nice guys.

It's just kind of, we work together and I'm just not...

-Okay, wait what? Um, hold up.

Lisa, what in the name of everything, are you talking about?

-Simon, you gave up your trip to Boston to get close to me.

-Ah, no, I gave up my trip to Boston because Gerry wouldn't take me to a Celtics game.

-Oh. -Yeah.

-Ha, wow, that Gerry can be such a jerk huh?

Simon, I'm sorry. -Don't be sorry.

You made it perfectly clear that someone like you could never like someone like me.

Clearly the fact that you look like my mom means nothing to you.

-Ew. -And I know that I don't have the things women look for.

I don't have fancy expensive clothes or a fat wallet full of green backs.

And I know that I have the physique of a tall child.

I know that my list of fears is abnormally long.

The fear that I'll wake up with strange new allergies.

Hay fever 2.0, haunting.

I'll have you know, I am perfectly capable of looking past...

Most of that stuff. -I call bogus.

-It is not bogus. -Barrel's, dinner, right now.

You're driving. -I'll get my jacket.

-I'll get in your car. -Fine.

-I'm parked in the back of... -I know where you're parked.

♪ Music

-♪ Going to the Celtics game [Knock at the door]

-No, no. Get out of here, get out of here. Get out of here.

[Knocks again] -Mr. Duncan, I know you're in there, I can hear you.

-Hey! I was just gonna go to bed. What's up? -You know what?

I've been thinking a lot about what you said about me needing to lighten up.

And have some fun, and it's rare, but you're right.

-So you should go do that. Okay? -Oh, not so fast party pooper.

I brought a friend. -Tequila, I don't do tequila.

-Oh! Tonight you do. You know what they say about tequila?

There's a U and I right inside. Side by side. One quick drink.

-Okay, quick.

-Wanna play a drinking game?

It's easy, when I say drink, you drink. Okay?

-How is that a drinking game? -Drink!

-I don't want to play this game. -Drink!

-No.

-One, nothing. It's okay, you're just learning.

-How is this a drinking game for you? You just say drink and that's the game?

-Because it's your turn now. You say drink, and I'll drink.

-Drink.

-Early lead. I am kicking your a-double-s.

[Gerry's cell phone rings] -[Robert]: Who's that?

-[Gerry]: Drink.

[Gerry]: How's the game. -Total snooze fest.

But don't' worry, I found this bachelorette party that wants to keep partying with us!

-A stagette at the Celtics game? That's weird.

-Are you coming or what? -I can't, I got Robert, Robert's in my room right now.

-[Bill]: So? -So, he's already onto me and now he wants to bond.

If I leave now he's going to suspect something.

-Man, you gotta get rid of him. -[Gerry]: No kidding, idiot.

I'll text you when I'm on my way. I'll be there.

-Alright man, whatever. Last night of freedom right?

-Well that was fun Robert, let's call it a night. Thank you.

-Or, we should probably call Callaghan too and tell him about your little educational trip.

-Or, we should strap on a helmut and drink through it, soldier.

[Robert]: Drink! -I'll just drink.

-Someone over here's getting a little parched.

-Drink.

♪ Music

♪ Music

-♪ Mr. Walrus wants to...drink

-[Gerry]: You gotta slow down Robert. Let's go out.

-Alright, let's just go. Let's just go get on the bus.

And let's just go to Mexico or somewhere, Costa Rica or Louisiana and let's teach.

-Hey!

-You know my friend Bill? -Ah, yeah. I know your friend Bill.

-Well he's here in Boston with a bunch of girls right now.

Let's go, let's go meet them. -Then what are we doing sitting here?

-Stop drinking though. I'm too tired for this.

-It looks like it's ringing. Drink!

-So, since the brain process is faster than real time,

we're living 80 milliseconds in the future.

-Simon, that is so fascinating.

-I hope to discover something like that someday. Be the next Einstein.

Sounds crazy, right? -No, not at all, anyone could be the next Einstein.

In fact, he actually made a lot of mistakes. -I'm sorry, what?

-Oh, there have been a lot of scientists that have found some big holes in his theory's.

-Well, I don't know who these people are, but,

the only holes in Einstein's theory's are black.

Black holes, so...

I'm just saying that you could be the next Einstein, only without mistakes.

-You better watch your mouth. -I didn't mean to offend you.

-I think we should see other people.

-Okay. I didn't realize we were...

-Could you please drive me home? -Yeah, yeah sure.

-Thank you. -Yeah.

-[Gerry]: Keep it together will ya? Boy, you cannot handle your booze.

-[Robert Slurs]: You can't even handle it.

Ahh, look who it is. Past curfew isn't it?

You guys are supposed to be in your rooms, what's going on here?

-And! You're supposed to be in your rooms.

-Are you guys drunk? -We'll ask the questions here you little...

-Don't say it, don't say it. Think it, but don't say it.

-I think you guys have been drinking, I smell booze on all your faces.

-I see booze on your jacket.

-[Gerry]: Oh, nice. I guess someone's parents will be getting a phone call.

Nice one. The Cheelster! Ha!

-This is despicable.

We try to take you away on a nice trip, this is worse then a slap in the face.

-Worse then a slap in the face? -Well, maybe you've never had a slap in the face.

Maybe I'll give you a slap in the face and you'll know what it feels like on your face.

-[Gerry]: Whoa, whoa. -Can't hit students.

-Teacher's can't hit kids anymore, they took that away from us.

-I'll bring it back right now. With one slap to the face!

-[Robert]: Drop the mitts Big Country.

-Well, why do you smell like a brewery?

-Why do you smell like kitten breath and chamomile?

-[Gerry]: Okay, we are in charge here now Maya. Me and Roberto had a drink.

We're adults Maya. -Grown ass adults.

Okay? Settle down. -We can hold our liquor.

-[Robert]: Oh dear

-[Gerry]: Ahh, oh no. You got it on Callaghan's...oh no.

-[Gerry laughing]: You got it on Callaghan's sweatshirt!

-Don't make it a thing. -[Gerry]: You got it all over.

Grapes too! Ohhh! [Gerry laughs]

[Gerry dry heaves] -[Maya]: That is so gross. We have to go.

[Gerry]: Oh my god! I looked at it.

-I just have to change my shoes and then we'll go.

-[Gerry]: Don't slip, don't slip. Careful, hold me Robert. [Gerry laughs]

-[Gerry on phone]: Yeah, I'm not gonna make it Bill. -Are you sure?

-[Robert]:Gerry, I really think I need to go to the hospital.

-Yeah, I can't leave him like this.

-That sucks buddy. -Thanks.

[Robert vomits] -[Robert]: Look I don't remember eating any of this.

Plank salmon and corn niblets.

-[Gerry]: Ah Robert, some field trip. [Robert vomits]

-How ya feeling? -Pretty good.

-Okay, you hungry? -A little bit.

-I got some clam chowder in my bag.

-Not for that, not for that. I'm not hungry for that.

-Alright, here's the deal. This is our story.

Mr. Cheeley ate some bad shrimp and that is why he threw up.

And that is the story we go with when we get back to the school.

-Well what did you eat? -What do you mean what did I eat Ben?

I didn't eat anything and I didn't throw up. This has got nothing to do with me. Okay?

-So you're not going to tell our parents?

-No Maya, I'm not going to tell your parents that you went on a field trip and you got drunk.

-And if he tells our parents about us we tell Callaghan about him.

-You know, I wish I could leave you here in Boston. -You can't.

-Alright, listen up please! Mr. Cheeley is not feeling well!

He ate some bad shrimp.

So! We will not be noisy on the bus ride home!

Mr. Cheeley has some food poisoning!

So we will keep it down for him!

I do not want to have to talk to anybody while we go home!

I want it nice and quiet!

[Yells]: You do not want to see me angry.

-The kids can't tell right? -No. I covered for you.

You owe me! Big time. -Last night was epic!

-That's not epic. -How are we gonna top that?

I got your back next time. -There won't be a next time.

-What do you want? -Take my hand.

-Okay, that's great.

Robert, the kids are still watching. You're still drunk.

♪ Music

♪ Music.

-He threw up a lot! -That's awesome.

-How were those girls? Be honest.

-First we started dinner, it was nice, a little bit of wine. Then they went out of control!

We hit the bar and it was shots and round, round, round.

We're doing like beer pong, it was like we were going crazy! Like, they were nuts.

They were drinking like they were going to prison the next day.

It was amazing! -You didn't go to the game.

-No.

-Potato. Fries. Salt and pepper.