Original subtitles

Gerry: Ah, he's doing fairly well, 'k, he could stay on task

a little more. Sometimes he loses focus, but overall he's a

pretty good boy. You should be very proud parents, and

grandparents and siblings.

He could stay on task a little more, sometimes loses focus

but overall he's a pretty good boy.

You should be very proud moms.

He could stay on task a little more, 'cause he tends to lose

focus a little bit, but overall he's a fine young man and you

should be very proud. Parent: She.

Gerry: What did I say? Parent: He.

Gerry: He? Darla. Parent: Karla.

Gerry: Karla. She's doing fairly well.

♪ I'm awesome. No you're not dude. Don't lie.

♪ I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's ride.

♪ I'm awesome. A quarter of my life gone by.

♪ I'm awesome, awesome, awesome.

Good game, good game, good hustle out there, good game.

Simon: Great game Coach. Coach: Good game, good game.

Hey Gerry! Good to see ya.Gerry: Hey Derek. Yeah you too.

Derek: That's a tough loss. Butgood news, home at home right?

Gerry: Yeah, it's not whetheryou win or lose it's how

you play the game, so.Derek: That's the spirit.

That was this guys attitude allthrough teacher's college.

Simon: How come you get somad when we lose then?

Derek: You know what? Wenever really get to hang out,

catch up on old times. What doyou say we go grab a bite to eat

tomorrow night?Gerry: Oh no tomorrow's, we have

to go out we have a thing. Yes.Simon: We do?

Derek: You know what? I'm justgonna check with the wife

and we're gonna do this.Simon: What are we

doing tomorrow?Gerry: Make something up when he

comes back, anything. Just make something up where we're going.

Simon: Why would I do that? Gerry: Because we have nothing

in common, he always did this in teacher's college. I have

no desire to go out with him. Derek:Alright, we're all set up.

Simon: We're going to strippers. Gerry: Yeah, strippers.

Simon: Tomorrow night, so. Gerry: Stripclub.

Simon: Yeah we got reservations. Derek: Seriously? You know who

wants to see ya? My wife Kate. Gerry: Kate who?

Derek: Kate Dietrich. Gerry: Kate...

Derek: Kate Dietrich, remember? You guys actually went out a

few times, teacher's college. Gerry: Kate married you?

Derek: Yup, are you surprised by that?

Gerry: Yeah, wow. Simon: Who's Kate Dietrich?

Gerry: Never mind. Derek: She wants to know

what you've been up to. Gerry: I'd love to come,

I'll bring my girl. Yes! Derek: You got a girl?

Derek: Ok, well I'll text you and set this up.

Gerry: Ok, perfect. Alright. Simon: Guess I'll

have to go by myself, you sold me out again.

Gerry: Kate Dietrich. Are you kidding me?

Robert: How many of the trustees have confirmed?

Trudy: All of them. Robert:Oh good. I just want them

to know their generous donations are being put to good use.

You know? Trudy: Well I'm sure they want

to know that too. So, how are you spending the money?

Robert: Spent. It's already gone. Suffice to say,

Callaghan's 25th anniversary will be "statuesque".

Trudy: So it's a statue? Robert: Well yes it's a statue

but it's supposed to be a surprise. Don't tell anybody.

Trudy: Ok, well here's another surprise for Callaghan, you

invited his ex-wives. Both of them.

Don't you remember the 15th anniversary? The portrait?

[Stabbing shriek] Robert: Well of course I

remember. That's why this item will be made of much more

indestructible materials. Smart, right? Right?

Gerry: Hey. Lisa: Hi.

Gerry: Mind if I ask ya a favor? Lisa: What's up?

Gerry: Umm...well I have these friends, we're going out to

dinner tonight. Would you come? Lisa: What? Like a date?

Gerry: No, not a date, I just need you to, it's just...yeah,

Maybe we could act like it's a date.

Lisa: Oh, like a pretend date? Gerry: Yeah.

Lisa: Why do you want me to be your pretend date?

Gerry: A friend of mine married this girl I used to date, and I

want them to see I have something going on.

Lisa: Yeah, you don't want to go alone.

Lisa: You don't want to look like a loser.

Gerry: No, I'm in between

girlfriends, they don't need to know this and you are fine.

Lisa: Do you still have a thing for her?

Gerry: No, I don't have a thing, but I'm curious. Will you come?

Lisa: Yeah, I'm curious too. Gerry: Ok, perfect.

Lisa: Alright. Gerry: When you come, this girl

by the way was really, really hot. Like french teacher hot.

Gerry: So, you're presentable, but, is there any way...

Lisa: I'll be french teacher hot.

Gerry: You can do that? Lisa: What? You don't

think I can? Gerry: Could you wear a dress

that's maybe a little less? Lisa: Less what?

Gerry: Just less. Lisa: Yeah, I can do that.

Gerry: Ok and maybe your hair, something with that?

Lisa: I'm starting to realize why you're between girlfriends.

Gerry: No cardigan please.

Robert: One more thing Sir, it's been 25 years since you started

here at Xavier Academy, a quarter of a century.

Silver anniversary. Callaghan: Yeah, I know that,

we've just gotta let the whole thing come and go.

Robert: Think about it this way, if you had murdered somebody

when you started here, you'd just be eligible for parole

right now. That's longer than most marriages last, I mean

heck, that's longer than both of yours combined and then some.

Callaghan: Whatever it is you've done, undo. Understood?

Robert: This might be bigger than both of us, it's a surprise

and I just need you to go along with it, you're gonna...

Callaghan: ROBERT! Undo! Robert: Yeah.

Gerry: Big game tomorrow, and we are going to win.

In order to get you all in the right mindset for the game

during the warm up you will wear these new warm up shirts we got

you, that will make sure that you choose not to lose.

Justine: It says 'loose' not 'lose' sir.

Gerry: Ok, well the printers made a mistake, we will tell

them to redo them. Simon: Actually, I got the

receipt, it says you verified the spelling. So there's no

refund, no returns. Gerry: Thank you Mr. Hunt.

Simon: Choose not to loose... Gerry: Anyway, yup, not

important right now. What's important is that we get our

heads in the game tomorrow. So, we are going to do a little

visualization exercise, I'd like you to shut your eyes and don't

open them until I tell you and I would like you to visualize the

last few seconds of the game, 3 - 2 - 1, the buzzer sounds.

We win, we cheer, we jump up and down. You cheer and celebrate.

Then you gather 'round and you lift me, just me, nobody else

high up into the air, thanking me for the victory, cheering and

cheering... Gabby:But Sir, you're too heavy.

Gerry: Gabby, I'm not too heavy, there's 10 of you, you're fine,

just keep running. Cassandra: My arms are shaking.

I can't hold you. Lucy: You're falling, falling on

my legs, you're landing on my legs!

Gabby: I can't get up Sir, I can't breathe.

Lucy: I can't either. Girls: Me neither, I can't carry

you. Oh no, no. Gerry: Oh, open your eyes.

Simon: It's ok Gabby, I'm gonna help lift him. I got him here.

Oh yeah, he's heavy, I'll just grab one of his...so fat.

Gerry: Simon! Mr. Hunt, hello? Mr. Hunt?

It's ok girls. Don't visualize us winning. Ok?

I'm very below the weight of someone of my height.

I'm in better shape than most. I was not too heavy in that.

Go get changed.

Bill: So you gotta pay this girl to go out with ya?

Gerry: No, she's helping me out as a favour

and don't hit on her. Bill: I wouldn't hit on her,

she's your fake date buddy, I can't disrespect that.

Gerry: Ya did at the dance. Bill: Oh.

Gerry: Is that her? Alright. Bill: Oh yes. Yeah that's her.

Gerry: Is she wearing a cardigan?

Bill: No she is not. Lisa: Hi Gerry.

Gerry: Hi. Lisa: Hi.

Bill: Hey. Lisa: You ok?

Gerry: Yeah. Lisa: Ok.

Lisa: How's it goin'? Gerry: You look nice...pretty.

Very, very pretty. Lisa: Oh, thanks Gerry.

Gerry: Yeah, very pretty. Bill: I think you look great.

Lisa: Thank you. Gerry: Oh man...psst.

Derek:Hey Gerry, how's it goin'? Gerry: Hey Derek.

Derek: Good to see ya. Gerry: Hello Kate.

Kate: Hi, look at you. Gerry: You had your chance

to do this a long time ago. Ok? Derek: Old pals huh?

Gerry: My girlfriend Lisa. Derek: I'm Derek.

Lisa: Oh, ok. Gerry: Ok, that's whoa, nope.

Derek: Sorry, thought we were doing hugs.

Lisa: Hi, I'm Lisa. Derek: Oh, sorry.

Kate: Hi. Lisa:It's very nice to meet you.

Derek: This is, ah, my wife... Derek/Kate: Kate.

Lisa: Derek and Kate. Gerry: The software upgrade.

Derek: Sorry? Gerry: And there's your

software upgrade. Kate: Can you?

Derek: Sorry? Yup, I'm gonna go get us a big old table to

sit at, then we'll, ok, alright. Lisa: Good call.

Gerry: Yeah. Lisa: I've heard so much

about you. Gerry: Little bits, tidbits,

tiny things. Lisa: Oh.

Kate: I like your shoes. I'll just...

Gerry: Nice. Perfect. It feels real, like it feels

like we're a couple. Yeah. Lisa: Like a real fake date.

Derek: You guys have been together how long? A year?

Lisa: A year, yeah. We met on a cruise.

Kate: Gerry, I'm so happy for you, you finally found like one

person to spend the rest of your life with.

Gerry: I didn't just find someone, I actually, I'm seeing

a lot of people. Kate: Really? Are you ok

with that? Gerry: Yeah, she's fine.

She's fine, because she's also not exclusive. She does her own

thing, I do mine. Derek: Really?

Gerry: Yeah, ok? This is fun girl.

Derek: So this is like a friends with benefits kind of

arrangement? Gerry: Bingo!

Lisa: No, we're friends. Just friends. No benefits.

I work with Gerry, we work at a school together and...

Gerry quietly: Very close. Derek: So you guys have

never dated? Gerry: Ah, no we have.

Derek: Each other? Gerry: Ahhh no, not each other.

Until tonight. Kate: So, Lisa?

Lisa: Yes? Kate: Are you dating anyone?

Lisa: Not right now, no. Derek: I see where you're goin'

with this. Kate: Mmmhmm, Phillip.

Derek: Yes! Lisa: Oh, who's Phillip?

Derek: Oh, he is the greatest guy. He's super funny, he's

really successful. Kate: Yeah he's cute and single.

Lisa: Oooh, I like all of those things.

Gerry: He's all those things, all those things right there

and single. Do you not see, there's something wrong with

Phillip? Girlfriend break up with him for anything?

Derek: His girlfriend was murdered.

Lisa: Oh my god. Derek: Yeah they found her body

in a dumpster outside a mall. Gerry: Was he questioned for...?

Kate: No Gerry! Nobody thought it was him.

Gerry: If you got murdered, I would want to ask him questions.

Kate: He's a really nice guy and he would be great for Lisa here.

Gerry: Do it up. Derek: Maybe we could find

someone to set you up with Gerry. If you're having trouble.

Kate: No, that would be really hard. Like who would you...?

Gerry: That's great, that's good. Gerry's fine. I've got a

girl that I'm actually getting a lot tighter with. So, yeah, she

couldn't come tonight. She was busy tonight.

Lisa: Oh, maybe you can give her a call?

Gerry: Maybe. Lisa: Try and get her out.

Kate: It's ok if you don't have a girlfriend. It's not a big

deal, it doesn't make you a loser or anything, it's fine.

Gerry: Ok, yeah I will. Kate:Yeah, just give her a ring.

Lisa: Yeah, on the telephone. Gerry: I will call her.

Lisa: Yeah. Gerry: Yup.

Robert: I'm just wondering if I can cancel it? Cancel it!

Well can I get a refund? Tell you what, you can deliver it

then if I can cancel it first. [Quietly] I just need to cancel

it because I might lose my job.

Gerry: Things aren't going well. Just call one of your girls, the

many girls you have. Bill: It's kinda short notice.

Gerry: Just find somebody, I just need somebody hot.

Bill:I'll find you somebody hot. Gerry: What about Wendy?

Bill: Come on man, I'm not getting you Wendy.

Gerry: Come on Bill... Bill: Diana.

Gerry: Is she hot? Bill: She's so hot.

Gerry: Ok perfect. Bill: I think she might

already be working. Gerry: Well check.

Bill: I'll see. Gerry: Tell her we're boyfriend

girlfriend, stuff like that. Bill: I gotcha buddy. She's hot.

Robert: Can I speak to your supervisor please?

Callaghan: Hey Robert. Robert: Mr. Callaghan. I wasn't

aware you were still here sir. Callaghan: Cheers.

I want to show you something. Here, take a look at this

photograph. You know when that was taken? 1982, off the coast

of Africa. I was there fishing, very rare species of African

fish, since gone extinct. Look at how young I look.

Robert: Sir, you're being ridiculous.

Callaghan: Listen Robert, about this...

Robert: No, no you listen to me sir. I've gone out of my way to

plan a pretty special day for you tomorrow and I'm excited

about it. You know what you're doing? You're getting all bogged

down in this age business, but this isn't about that, you're

being selfish. So whatever you need to do to clear out the

cobwebs in your melon and show up tomorrow for game time

I am counting on you to do. Can I?

Lisa: So it was a really, really nice baby shower.

Kate: That sounds nice. Lisa: Yeah. I'm so proud

of my sister. Gerry: Oh hey, there she is.

Hello, hello sweetie. Diana: Hello everybody.

I'm Diana. Gerry: This is Diana.

Diana: I'm Larry's girlfriend. [Lisa laughs]

Gerry: She calls me by my middle name.

Lisa: Oh yeah? Wow, so your name is Gerry Larry Duncan?

Gerry: It's Duncan. Lisa: Wow, things you don't

know about a person. Kate: Well, it's nice

to meet you. Lisa: It really is.

Derek: It's a pleasure. Gerry: Yup.

Diana: I'm gonna need my money up front.

Lisa: Ah, so Diana, are you and Gerry exclusive?

[Gerry clears his throat] Ah, no we're not. Nope.

Derek: Wow, Gerry, it's hard for you to settle down isn't it?

Never wanted to get married huh? Gerry: Well, I proposed once.

And, ah, she said no. Kate: Gerry.

Gerry: He doesn't know? Derek: What?

Diana: I'm supposed to get paid up front.

Gerry: Not now. Funny thing, teacher's college,

I proposed to Kate. Kate: Great. Thank you.

Derek: I can't believe you never told me that.

Kate: You know what honey? It just never came up. So I...

Derek: No? You couldn't find a place to squeeze it in huh?

Diana: I really need my money. Gerry: Ok, can you stop?

Lisa: Why does she need money so bad?

Gerry: Not now. Kate: Gerry, is Diana a hooker?

Diana: I'm an elite escort. Gerry: Elite escort. I'm dating

an elite escort. Derek: Why wouldn't you tell me

that Gerry proposed to you? Kate: It was nothing,

it meant nothing. Derek: Ok thanks. It was

nice to see you again Gerry. Kate: Oh Derek come on.

Lisa: It was really nice to meet you.

Gerry: Yeah. Kate: Honey, Derek.

Diana: I just want to get paid.

[Gerry sighs] Do you have any money Lisa?

Lisa: No. Gerry: I don't have cash right

now, I'll get you the money.

Diana: You know, have we worked together before?

Lisa: Oh no. Oh no. Diana: You look really familiar.

Gerry: Have you? Lisa: No Gerry!

Gerry: Just wondering.

Robert: Mrs. Callaghan-ss, both of you. Welcome.

Glad you could make it.

Where's Mr. Callaghan? Trudy: I don't know.

Robert: Isn't that your job? Kinda?

Gerry: Alright girls. This is Father Brian, the priest at

Martyrs and he is going to say a little victory prayer for us.

So let's get ready. Father Brian: I normally only do

this for my own team. Gerry: Ok, I understand that

Father, but we don't want God wanting Martyrs to win because

they prayed so even playing field. Ok? Let's bow our heads.

Gabby: But Coach, I'm not Catholic. I'm Buddhist.

Gerry: Well, one of us is wrong about our gods so you pray to

yours and we'll pray to ours ok? We'll cover all of our bases.

Heads down, go ahead. Father Brian: Heavenly Father we

ask that you bless these girls and their coach. We ask that

they play with all their effort and their might, that they play

safe and free from injury. Gerry: ...And they win.

Father Brian: And that they play competitively Lord

Gerry: And that they win, Lord. Father Brian: And that they

enjoy themselves, Lord. Gerry: And they win Father.

Father Brian: They've never actually won a game?

Gerry: No. Father Brian: There are limits

to even the Lords capacity for miracles.

Gerry: Thanks buddy. Good. Ok. Blah blah blah, choo, choo.

Good, see ya. Yup. Not even real. Listen,

we're not in the playoffs, so this is our playoffs.

Some of you are seniors. This is your last kick at the can.

Going into grade seven. You may not make a team again.

Be the last time you could ever be on a basketball court.

In your whole life. Let's win. Let's finally win.

Ok? Choose not to lose, which I fixed.

[Gerry claps once] Let's put our hands in,

let's cheer.

I love you guys. Simon: Love you too Gerry.

Gerry: No, Simon. "Hoosiers" my favorite movie.

You're my Jimmy Chitwood. What are you wearing by the way?

Gabby: We made them yesterday sir.

Gerry: "Friendship", "Girl Power".

Gabby: We made one for you too Coach.

Gerry: What? "Coach". Great. creative. Thank you guys. That

was great. Thank you for making me that. it means a lot to me.

Simon: It's pink. Lucy: We made one for you too

Mr. Hunt. Gerry: Include him.

Might as well. Oh well that's...

Simon: Wow! "Assistant Coach". This is special.

Gerry: That was nice. His is a little nicer, but...hands in.

1-2-3. The Team: NO MERCY!

Gerry: Get out there. Yeah! Get up.

Simon: I feel like a gypsy bride.

Gerry: Ok, you don't have to rub it in.

Robert: Oh, ladies and gentlemen give him a Callag-hand and right

on time, fashionably late, Principal Callaghan.

[Clapping] Robert: And his new ride...

Dwyer: Woohoo! Robert: Two wheeled.

Welcome. Take a seat between the other two.

Sir, now that you've de-hogged, welcome, nice ride...motorbike.

So without any further adieu...

Ta-da! [Clapping, giggling]

[Clapping, giggling continue]

[Clapping, giggling continue]

Gerry: Good luck Derek. Derek: Hey Gerry, wife's here

if you want to propose. Gerry: Ok, that's funny. Relax.

Derek: Did you bring the escorts today?

Gerry: Why would I bring an escort?

Derek: Why would you bring one to dinner?

Gerry: Ok, that's... Diana: There you are Larry.

Derek: Hi Diana. Diana: Hi Derek.

Gerry: What are you doing? Diana:I didn't get my money yet.

Gerry: I told Bill to give you the money.

Diana: Well Bill told me to tell you to get me the money.

Gerry: I don't have money on me right now.

Diana: Well I'm not leaving until I get my money.

Gerry: I'll give it to you after the game, just get out of here.

Derek: You brought an escort to a Catholic elementary school.

Classy, Gerry. Ref: Coach?

Gerry: What? Ref: Your kids are going to

have to lose the bracelets. Derek: No jewellery Gerry.

Gerry: It's a fun little bracelet they made,

would you relax? Ref: It's unsafe.

Gerry: Well, you're wearing a bracelet.

Ref: It's a MedicAlert bracelet, I'm allergic to penicillin. I

could die. We have to get on with the game so either they

Derek: Rules are rules Gerry. Gerry: No, I'm not forfeiting.

That's what he wants. You're pathetic.

[Ref blows the whistle] Ref: You're out coach.

Gerry: WHAT? You're throwing me out?

Ref: Yes. Derek: See ya Gerry.

Gerry: Simon, get out of the chair please, for a sec.

I'm gonna throw it, like Bobby Knight. Watch this.

I'm gonna scare everybody.

Gerry: It's up to you now.

Simon: What am I supp...? Where you going Gerry?

Gerry: You chose him over me.

Simon: Hi, I'm Simon. Diana: Hi, I'm Diana.

Simon: Hi. Diana: Hi girls.

Lucy: Hi. I like your shoes. Diana: Oh, thanks hon.

Callaghan:What's with the eagle? Robert: Oh, that represents

me, on your shoulder, always watching.

Callaghan: And what's with the hand? I never do that.

Robert: You just... you're doing it now.

Malik: Nice touch. Callaghan: Yeah.

Team: 3-2-1 [Buzzer sounds, cheering]

Team: We won! We won! We won!

We won! [Cheering]

Lucy: I'm gonna get ice cream. Gerry: What?

Simon: We won. Gerry: How did you do that?

Simon: Oh, I didn't do anything. I froze up, but Diana, your

hooker friend, took over and she was unbelievable.

Gerry: You let that girl coach? Simon: Anyway, she's taking us

out for ice cream. See ya later. Gerry: She coached.

Simon: We won! Gerry: You won!

Gabby: Yeah, Diana was a great coach.

Gerry: Oh my gosh. Gabby: Oh, and she asked me to

give you this message. Gerry: A message?

Gabby: She said "I want my [Bleep] money."

Gerry: Are you kidding me? Who's he shooting?

Why is his ass so big? What is that?

Lisa: Look at the size of that bird?

Gerry: Anyway, sorry about last night. That was...kinda went...

the wrong direction there. Lisa: That's alright.

I got a date out of it. Gerry: Oh, did you? Good.

The guy that they were..? [whispers] The killer.

Lisa: He's not a murderer. Gerry: Not sure.

Gerry: If I did date you I would be exclusive by the way.

Just so you know. Lisa: Good to know.

Gerry: Just saying if.

You'd have to dress like that every night too.

Gerry: I did it sir, I won. Well, the hooker helped.