Original subtitles

Trudy: Good morning everyone, just a few announcements.

Would the midget girls volleyball team please meet in

room 324 after school for an important meeting.

Congratulations to the midget boys soccer team who defeated

St. Pat's by a score of 2-1 yesterday.

Gerry: Ah hmmm Trudy: Way to go boys!

Oh and just one more thing, the midget boys basketball team lost

a heartbreaker to York Secondary, 56-55, too bad boys

unfortunately you just came up a little short. Thank you.

What's wrong with you? Ah for the love of...

Gerry: Sorry about that stuff. Man: Sorry about what?

Gerry: You didn't hear the whole...announcements?

Man: No. Gerry: Hey, do you know a girl

named Julie Simpson? She's a friend of mine...

Man: Little Julie? Gerry: Yeah.

Man: Yeah, yeah. Gerry: Really? Wow, small world.

♪ I'm awesome. No you're not dude don't lie.

♪ I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's ride.

♪ I'm awesome. A quarter of my life gone by.

♪ I'm awesome, awesome, awesome.

Gerry: Hey Bobbi. Hey... Bob...

What's her problem? Lisa: Oh, she has to teach

health today to the grade fivers.

Gerry: Ooh, the worst! Lisa: Yeah, I can imagine.

Gerry: No, you can't imagine. Let me tell you something about

being a phys-ed teacher. That's the worst part, having to teach

the kids about sex-ed and puberty and you know why we

have to teach it? Because their parents won't tell them. So we

will tell them. Other teachers don't do it. They shove them to

the phys-ed teacher. Lisa: Ok, first of all, you're

not a phys-ed teacher. Gerry: Technically, I have a

degree in Kinesiology, which makes me a phys-ed teacher.

Lisa: Secondly, phys-ed teachers mainly play dodgeball. So...

Gerry: Ok, yeah that's what we do, we just play dodgeball.

So, you think teaching phys-ed is easier than teaching

anything else? Lisa: Yeah, yeah, that's

what I'm saying. Gerry: Yeah, yeah, oh man.

Callaghan: Hey guys. Lisa, I don't know

if you've heard that Mr. Wilkins has taken

a leave of absence. Gerry: Hold on, who?

Lisa: Yes, that's terrible. I hope he gets better soon.

Gerry: Hey! Is that the guy that looks like a hawk?

Callaghan: Bottom line, I need you to take over the Quiz Cup

Academic team and I want you to find someone to give you a hand.

Gerry: Hold it. We have an academic team here?

Lisa: Yes, absolutely. I'm happy to help.

Callaghan: Let me know if you need some help with that.

Gerry: I can help with that, umm, hello? I'm quite a trivia

buff right here. I am on it. Callaghan: Hey, Gerry.

How's it goin'? Gerry: Hey sir.

Gerry: I am here. Yeah, I'm right here.

Trudy, am I here today? Yeah, good ok. Thank you.

Robert: Morning Trudy. Trudy: Good morning.

Here are the questions for the academic competition against...

Robert: Oh, oh, doesn't matter who it's against. The impartial

quiz master thanks you. Trudy: You're welcome.

Robert: You didn't leave these unattended did you?

Trudy: Uhhh, must we do this every year?

Robert: Yes, we do. It's a matter of security.

Trudy: Didn't leave them unattended.

Robert: Good. Trudy: Mmmhmmm.

Robert: Why'd you use two sticky things, could have gotten

away with just one. Boop. Office supplies are expensive Truders,

and I think we both also know that these things don't grow on

trees. [Trudy laughs] Callaghan: Oh, did I miss it?

Trudy [laughing]: You did, ya missed it. It was great too.

Robert: Oh.

Trudy: Ta da!

[Robert's shoes squeak in the spilled coffee]

Trudy: That was rich. Who's cleaning this up?

Gerry: Lisa. So I really think I can help you. I mean, have you

ever coached? Lisa: No, but I think I can

figure it out. Gerry: Ok, I've coached. Hey, I

memorized Pi to 26 decimal places.

Lisa: Ok, you just want to do this because Callaghan

thinks you can't. Gerry: No, I'm good at trivia.

I love trivia. Trust me, I can help.

Lisa: Ok. Gerry: Yes.

Lisa: We practice after school. Gerry: Practice? We're sitting

here talking about practice? Lisa: Yeah.

Gerry: Practice? Not a game. Not a game. Practice?

We talking about practice? Not a game. Not a game that I didn't

die for, but we talking about practice? Practice?

Lisa: Really, you lost me. I don't know what you're

talking about. Gerry: Alan Iverson, basketball

player. See? I can help. Lisa: Still don't know.

Alright, 3:30, ok? Gerry: Ok, oh hey

3.1415926535897932

...63846264338.

That's Pi, to 26 decimal places.

Bobbi: Ok, so overt menstruation occurs primarily with humans and

also close evolutionary primates such as chimpanzees.

Cassandra: Is that a bad thing? Bobbi: No, no, menstruation

isn't a bad thing. It's really the major stage of a girls

puberty and the first stage of becoming a woman.

Stephan: Does it hurt? Bobbi: No, Stephan, menstruation

itself doesn't hurt, but sometimes there's muscle

contractions that go along with it that do. Yeah?

Lucy: What does being in love mean?

Bobbi: Not really what we're talking about right now.

Lucy: But, Ms Galka, you're teaching us about boy/girl

things right? Bobbi: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah

sure I am. Lucy: Ok, so what does being in

love mean?

Bobbi: Ok, ok, ah ok so being in love,

being in love is when a boy and a girl really care for

each other. Really care for each other. That's it.

Leah: My daddy said my mommy left him because she fell in

love with another woman. Bobbi: Ok. Alright. That's

another. You guys, just, let's just talk about menstruation.

Right? Stephan: Do boys get mentation?

Bobbi: Menstruation Stephan. No they don't get menstruation.

Stephan: Then why is the word men in it?

Bobbi: I don't know I don't know I don't know I don't know

Gerry: Hello, hello. Lisa: Hey Gerry.

Gerry: So you're on the team? Did you tell them the good news?

Lisa: Not yet. Mr. Duncan is actually gonna be...

Gerry: ...coaching the team. Lisa: Co-coaching the team.

Maya: Why? Gerry: Why? What do you mean

why Maya? Noah: Hey, sorry I'm late.

Gerry: Noah, try to be on time please. Punctuality is key, ok?

We have a new coach. So I have a little different structure.

Lisa: Co-coach. Gerry: Be on time.

Maya: But, you're always late for class.

Gerry: I am, am I? When I coach? Have you seen me coach?

Never late. Like clockwork when I coach. What is the longest

river in the world? Noah: The Nile.

Gerry: No, Noah. It's the Mississippi. See, when you're

late, you might not know stuff. Maya: It is definitely the Nile.

Mindy: Mississippi's the third longest.

Gerry: Well, smarty pants, the Colorado River is the

second longest in the world. Betcha didn't know that.

Maya: The Amazon is the second longest river

[Bell sounds] Gerry: We'll never know,

'cause I have to go.

Robert: TRUDY! That's not funny. What if I had a parent in there

when that screen saver came up? Trudy: Well then, obviously

Robert they would just think that you really

like sexy clowns. Callaghan: Did I miss it again?

Trudy: Yes. Robert: Sir, please it's not

funny. She's really starting to impede my ability to do my job.

Callaghan: Oh, Robert, chillax. It's a joke. Grow a spine.

Fight back. [Laughing] Trudy: I know. [Laughing]

Trudy: Grow a spine Robert. Robert: I have one thanks.

If it's a war you want, it's a war you got lady!

Trudy: Bring it. Robert: I'm just goin'

to get it. Trudy: Hope you can find it.

Robert: If I was the person who put it there I guess I

would be the one who knows where it is.

Gerry: Ah man, this is boring. Is this how you guys practice

for real? Just sit there? And stare at things? Let's get some

questions goin' here. Maya, which one of Henry VIII's wives

gave birth to Elizabeth

the one, first? Maya: Anne Boleyn.

Gerry: Correct. But, you didn't buzz.

Maya: What? Gerry: Ya gotta buzz, as soon as

you hear the question, as soon as it starts, buzz,

gain control of the board. Lisa: How are they supposed to

buzz when they don't even know the question?

Gerry: You don't need to know the whole question, you need to

know the start of the question and then you gain control by

buzzing. For instance, if they ask you "which country has the

capital...", right away you know the answer is a country. You now

have control of the board, boom, we're one step ahead of them.

Maya: But sir, there's 196 countries in the world.

Gerry: Then there's 196 capitals, start learning. I know

my capitals, ask me a capital of a country.

Mindy: Australia? Gerry: Come on, Canberra. Easy.

Please. Next? Maya: Iceland?

Gerry: Reykjavik. Easy Maya. Noah: Madagascar?

Gerry: Countries! Countries was the question. Not islands. Ok?

Want to know the capital of Gilligan's Island too? Is that

fun to you? Just throwing out bizarre answers? If you don't

know the capitals, Noah, at least know your countries. OK?

Gerry: Ahh, heard you're starting the health unit.

Bobbi: Yeah, kind of the worst part of teaching phys-ed.

You know? Gerry: Well, if you want me to

to come in on my spare and help I will.

Bobbi: Yeah, oh no, that's ok. Thanks.

Gerry: Suit yourself. But let it be known that I have quite a way

with young kids and sex. What I mean is, I have quite a way of

explaining sex to young...I have...

I know how to make it fun. I know how

to make sex education fun. Bobbi: Got it.

Gerry: Let me know if you need me.

Bobbi: Won't be changing my mind. Thanks.

I just have to open it up to questions. I just have to spend

the whole class just answering questions, it'll be easy.

Malik: Who did things? Bobbi: I'm sorry, I was just, um

I was just talking out loud. Sorry.

Malik: Ah, yes. Two voices in the head is a danger maze.

Bobbi: Yeah, yeah you're kind of right.

Malik: I have a melancholy. Bobbi: What does that mean?

Malik: I used to have girlfriends, they want out,

I want in. Bobbi: Yeah.

Malik: They want out, I want in. They want in, I want out.

Bobbi: Okay. Malik: So I say, I'm out!

Bobbi: Yup. Malik: Quick like bandaid.

Bobbi: Ok, I get it. I just have to suck it up right? I have to

follow through with what's in my heart anyway, right.

Malik: Are you baby? Bobbi: No.

Malik: Are you Boobi? Bobbi: No, I'm Bobbi.

Malik: Yes, go, yes. Bobbi: Yeah. What?

Malik: Thank you! Bobbi: Thank you!

Malik: Good night. Bobbi: Thanks Anon Da Shon Rum.

Malik: RIIIIPPPP Bobbi: Thanks for listening.

Gerry: Alright, we're getting close. Hands on your buzzer.

Mindy: My hand is sore. Lisa: Her hand is sore.

Come on, this isn't helping. Gerry: Please. In what year...?

[Noah rings buzzer] Noah: 1975.

Gerry: Ok, good that you knew it was a year, but in what year did

the revolutionary war begin? 1975 Noah? Seriously?

Noah: 1775? Gerry: Yeah, way off ok?

Gerry: Alright, what... [Mindy rings buzzer]

Gerry: What are you doin'? On "what" you're buzzing in?

Mindy: Yeah, but, you said to... Gerry: I just said what, that's

not enough words, you can't guess the question from "what".

There could be a trillion possible questions.

How many zero's in a trillion? Maya: 12.

Gerry: Good Maya, nice, but you didn't buzz in. So not only did

you give the answer to the team above us, you also gave them

control of the board. Lisa: Ok, do you see how maybe

they should listen and be comfortable with their

answers before they buzz? Gerry: Yeah, we could do that.

Lisa: Yeah. Gerry: We could wait for the

whole question if you want, think, hmm, wonder what

the answer is, hit the buzzer, too late! If you do that we

might as well watch them walk away with the quiz cup.

Lisa: Ok, ok. Team, how about we're done for the day and so

how 'bout we pack up our things. Gerry, can I please speak with

you in the hallway? Thank you. Gerry: What is the latin deri...

See, as soon as I said latin somebody should have buzzed

because you know the answer is going to be a word.

Gerry: Come on.

Robert: Mr. Malik, thank you for coming. Have a seat.

Malik: Seat?

Robert: So I know for a fact that you're short on a few

supplies right? Here's what I was thinking maybe you and I

could figure out a little arrangement.

Malik: Garbage sacks. Robert: I can do that for you,

but I'm hoping you can help me with a little problem I'm having

with Trudy.

Malik: I help all today.

Gerry: I think they're starting to get it.

Lisa: Ok, Gerry, I really appreciate that you're doing

this to help me out and everything but I think our

coaching styles are really conflicting.

Gerry: Ok I agree, a little bit. Lisa: Ok, because I don't think

that they need two coaches. Gerry: No.

Lisa: I'm sorry, I just... Gerry: No, no, no, no, no.

Don't you dare quit on this team.

Lisa: I'm not going to quit. Gerry: Good, 'cause you are just

as much a part of this as I am. Keep your head up.

Gerry: This is the finals? Where is everybody?

Lisa: Just the parents show up for this. Ok you guys let's get

a photo here of the team. Gerry: Oh, ok, photo, photo.

Lisa: Four of you... Mindy: Here they come.

Gerry: Oh my... Oh what happened?

Good for you. Getting involved in stuff huh? Gonna answer some

questions? My name is Mr... Brittany: Are you the addle-pate

in charge of this rabble?

Gerry: Think so. Brittany: Well, rule #175 states

and I quote "no electronic devices of any kind permitted

on any person's person". Gerry: Ok, we just want to get a

little picture... Brittany: Rules are rules.

Gerry: Ok. Oh ow. Brittany: Oh, I'm so sorry.

Gerry: She did that on purpose. Maya:And she called you a moron.

Gerry: She called me apple cake. Pay attention.

Maya: I don't think so. Gerry: Yeah apple cake, are you

the apple cake in charge of this team? It's a dessert.

Lisa: It's addle-pate. She called you a moron.

Callaghan: Trudy, have you got those papers I was asking for?

Trudy: Oh, yes, they are right here.

[Phone rings] Trudy: Here you go.

Xavier Academy. May I help you? [Malik on phone]: Hello Truby,

your fridge run around guy time. You better find it.

Trudy: Oh really Robert? Is that all ya got?

I'm telling you the man's an amateur.

Callaghan: Whoa, are you ok? Trudy: Ow.

Robert [laughing]: Gotcha! Callaghan: What have you done?

Robert: A joke, I did a joke. Callaghan: You think this

is funny? Robert: Well not right now.

Callaghan: Are you ok? Just stay Trudy: Yes, don't let him touch

me. You, however, can help yourself. Ow. Jeez.

Trudy: Ow, god.

Robert: Sorry I'm late. Bit of an incident.

York Secondary students, welcome. My name is Robert

Cheeley. I'm the vice principal here, highly regarded and

what have you, Gerry: Says who?

but I want you to know as your quiz master I will

be impartial and fair. Okay? So does anybody need anything to

make their stay here a little more comfortable?

Brittany: What? Because I'm in a wheelchair?

Gerry: Is there a problem here?

Brittany: Yeah, his frontispiece.

Gerry: What is that? Your suit? Robert: No, my face.

There's a problem with my face.

Would you excuse us for a moment?

Robert: Ms. Mason, as you know rule 117 states that the

visiting team should be on the second tier.

Lisa: Yeah, well, obviously we can make an exception.

Gerry: Noo. She started it, ok? She tried to get in our kitchen.

It's not gonna happen. She's a mean, mean girl.

Robert: Kitchen's closed. Gerry: Thank you.

Kitchen's closed. Lisa: Ok, Gerry, there's no

reason why they can't take the bottom tier.

Gerry: They're moving her now. So it's too late to stop.

Lisa: She's in a wheelchair. Gerry: I'll try to stop them.

Gerry quietly: Guys, you don't need to do that.

Don't worry about it. Looks like a heavy wheelchair.

Gerry: She called him something, she called me something.

Gerry: She's eyeballing us, eyeball her back.

She's an agitator. She agitates. Lisa: Gerry.

Gerry: She's mad at us. Don't let this affect you guys.

Lisa: Oh my gosh. Gerry: There, they're up.

Big deal, what did that take?

15 seconds? Ok, Brittany? You good?

Gerry: We're good. Let's go!

Robert: Which of the following countries does not border

Brazil? Paraguay, Guyana, Peru, Gerry: Peru.

Robert: or Ecuador? Brittany?

Brittany: Ecuador. Robert: Correct!

Gerry: That's right, Peru doesn't border it anymore.

Robert: Next question. During the Cuban missile crisis, in

what country were the U.S. missiles that threatened the

Soviet Union? West Germany, Finland, Turkey or India?

Gerry: Australia. Robert: Brittany?

Brittany: Turkey. Robert: That is correct.

Lisa: That wasn't even an option.

Robert: York Secondary now with 54 points, Xavier in second

place with a mere 22 points. As we turn our attention now to

this question. Gerry: Time out.

Robert: Mr. Duncan, there are no times outs, I'm afraid.

Gerry: Ah well Maya needs her EpiPen. So...

Robert: Judge, will you accept EpiPen? Timeout granted for

Xavier Academy, clock starts now.

Gerry: Shake when I do this, just pretend.

Maya: Ow! What are you doing?

Gerry: What's goin' on guys? Turkey, missiles,

everyone knows that. Maya: Brittany's pretty

smart ok? Lisa: Hey, and you guys are

incredibly smart, so just relax. Gerry: You guys focus.

Lisa: No, they're not the problem, ok? You're the problem.

Brittany: Trouble in paradise? Robert: Two minutes,

two minutes. Lisa: Gerry, and the kids

aren't having fun. Maya: She's right.

Gerry: No one's having fun. So we're going to turn on me.

That's how we do it when we're losing. Mindy? Maya?

Lisa: No, no Gerry, ok? Enough, you are a really great coach,

but let me coach them alright? Gerry: Okay.

Lisa: You guys, enjoy yourselves. Have fun. Relax.

Go for it! Gerry: Victory speech.

Robert: Time out's over, time out's over.

Bobbi: Ok, so a series of muscle contractions delivers the

male gametes through the cervix, into the uterus and then into

the fallopian tube. Any questions? Go! Yup?

Cassandra: Are you in a relationship Ms. Galka?

Bobbi: Yes I am, actually. Stephan: Are you in love

with him or her? Bobbi: It's a him and why are

you guys grilling me with all these questions, right?

Leah: Maybe you're in love with another woman like my mommy is.

Bobbi: No, I'm not. Ok, you know what? Sometimes you think you're

in love with someone right? And it's kind of hard to admit to

yourself that you're not in love with somebody.

Lucy: So you don't love him?

[Bell rings] Bobbi [quietly]: Oh, thank god.

Stephan: Miss, if you don't love this guy, why don't

you just tell him? Bobbi: 'Cause it's not that easy

Stephan, I mean, you know we live together and our names are

on the lease and we just got a dog, so, I have to love him.

Bobbi: You get it, hey buddy? Stephan: Yeah.

Bobbi: Yeah. Thanks pal.

Robert: York Secondary in the lead with 76, Xavier Academy

has 70. Now it's onto this final, 10 point, winner take

all question. When did the revolutionary war begin?

Carol? Carol: 1774.

Robert: Oh, incorrect I'm afraid.

Brittany: What are you doing? Robert: Xavier, chance to steal.

Same question. Maya? Brittany: She didn't mean that.

Maya: 1775. Robert: That's correct!

Xavier wins the quiz cup! Brittany: You stupid idiot!

Gerry: Oh, I understand what she's saying now.

Brittany: Wait, where you going? What about me?

Gerry: We did it. Lisa: Yeah, well we did it,

you're fired, ok? Alright. Gerry: You can't fire me,

you don't pay me to do this. You can't fire somebody

that volunteers. Lisa: Let's go see your parents,

they're going to be so proud of you.

Gerry: Well, who's the apple cake now?

Gerry: I gotta roll. Oh, no offence. Lock up when

you're done will ya? Guys!?

Bobbi: Hey Trood. You feeling better?

Trudy: Ah, yeah well you know, full of pain killers.

Bobbi: Oh, yeah, um, I have some big news.

Trudy: What? Bobbi: I broke up with Craig...

Trudy: Yes. Bobbi: last night. I feel like

this huge weight is lifted off my shoulder. Best feeling ever.

Robert: What's the best feeling ever?

Bobbi: Nothing Robert. Anyway, I'm gonna fill

you in all about it later. Ok? Trudy: Okay.

Robert: On what? Bobbi: Nothing, nothing. Ok?

Robert: Secrets between girls huh?

Trudy, I said I was sorry and that it was an accident ok?

I'm sorry you hurt your back.

Trudy [laughing]: Sucker!

Ow, oh my back. Do you know what?

You hurt me so bad, I can't do this and I can't do that either.

Do you know what I'll never be able to do again?

Best six hours I ever spent.

[Laughing] Oh god, oh yeah, that was worth it.