Original subtitles

Gerry: There's five seconds left, Celtics to win it all

Gerry: He drives in. Damn!

Gerry: He's driving into the hoop to win it all!! Yeah!!

Lisa: Gerry! Are you kidding me? Exams!

Gerry: I didn't think you started yet.

Did you see that shot? I slam dunked it! I've never done that

Lisa: You lowered the basket, it's not even regulation.

Gerry: Doesn't matter... but I still... slammed it!

Gerry: That's was a 3 grade 11's!...Celtic's win!

Lisa: Hey Gerry, busy week huh? Gerry: Mmmm

Lisa: Ready for your first exam tomorrow?

Gerry: Uh yup, I'm almost there just gotta finish it

and then photocopy it Lisa: Seriously?

Gerry: Yeah Lisa: I finished mine weeks

ago, both versions. Gerry: Both versions?

Why would you do two versions? Lisa: Because when I was a

student teacher, I had a student call in a bomb threat and I had

to evacuate and I had to write a whole new one

Gerry: Well, I don't have enough time for versions and I don't

have enough photocopies in my account, so I'm going to do 1

version. Bobbi: I don't even have to

write exams, 'cause I'm a phys ed teacher.

Gerry: That's great, congrats Lisa: Ok, so how are you gonna

get this done by tomorrow? Gerry: I'll go home, finish the

exam I'll stay up late I'll get up early and I'll photocopy it.

Done! Bobbi: Yeah, ya know what? I'm

gonna stay up late too, but i'm going to stay up so I can watch

the game 'cause I'm a Phys Ed teacher...soooo

Gerry: Why does she do that? I want to be a Phys Ed teacher and

she's rubbing it in my face like I don't need

her to rub it in my face like that...it's mean

Gerry: Continue to work on those questions at the back

Lewis: Sir, is there any way we can get like a hint on what

might be on the exam? Gerry: Everything, ok?

Everything we've covered, everything we've talked

about to this point and more. Lewis: But, like what kind of

questions? Gerry: Some short answer, some

matching maybe, some essay, some lists...

Lewis: How about multiple choice?

Gerry: Wow, a lot of questions Lewis, for a new kid that just

transferred, 'cause multiple choice is easy to cheat

isn't it? Way ahead of you, I know about you and your brother

Clarke, so I'll be watching, good luck trying to cheat.

Lewis: I would never dream of cheating.

Gerry: No, you wouldn't, that's why you have a million questions

Ben: Sir, did ah, did you ever cheat in school?

Gerry: Let's just say, I know all the tricks Benjamin, ok?

Alright? Cell phones, not allowed. Talking, not allowed

extra paper, there will be no washroom breaks, calculators are

fine. If you want to bring a calculator to the exam, bring a

calculator. Ben: Sir, why would we need a

calculator for a history exam? Gerry: Benjamin, tell me this...

How many years between the end of World War One in 1918

and the start of World War Two in 1939

Ben: 21 Gerry: Twenty...21

What if I ask you how many months then between...

Maya: 252 Gerry: Thank you Rain Woman.

If I ever see anyone write the word boobless in the calculator

you will be expelled, disgusting, funny joke for

some of you, disgusting for me.

Dwyer: Thanks guys, just leave it over there.

OK, everybody knows my father recently passed away

Lisa: We were so sorry to hear about that

Dwyer: Thanks, anyway this foosball table was his,

I want to give you guys a gift. Bobbi: You sure you can part

with it Paul? Dwyer: My father always said, if

you're not sharing, you're not really playing, so.

Bobbi: Oh, yes. Simon: Good Morning everyone.

Foosball, wow! Where did this come from?

Dwyer: It's my dad's. Simon: Wow, this is great.

Let me look at this, move out of the way Dwyer, cool.

This is a good foosball table, who wants to play me? You Dwyer?

Dwyer: No, no I just... Simon: I promise you, you do not

Sir I will bury you. I will bury you underground and watch you

rot, bones in the casket by the Lisa: Simon...

Simon:time I'm done with you man Lisa: Simon

Simon: Which team do you want to be? Want to be red like the

massacre that's about to ensue? Or blue like the corpse I'm

going to turn you into? Do we have a priest on hand to deliver

Mr Dwyer his last rights? Funeral march out of the staff

room. Lisa: SIMON! His father just

passed away and this table belonged to him.

Simon: You want to play? Bobbi: Yeah, but just a quick

game ok? and make it respectful.

Gerry: Sir

Stupid machine!

Trudy: Need a little help there do you deary?

Gerry: No, this machine won't collate and I can't

figure it out. Trudy: You know it's poor

workman that blames his tools. Gerry: What does that mean?

Trudy: It's a proverb Gerry. It means you gotta stop blaming the

photocopier. Gerry: Oh, just say that.

Trudy, here's what I need... ...put more copies in my account

Trudy: I can't do that Gerry: Why?

Trudy: Because it's a budget thing, I do that for you

I have to do it for everybody. Gerry: I can't get through

another month without, I I can't even copy the exams with this

Trudy: You ruined enough copies for like 10 exams.

Gerry: Yeah Trudy: You gotta learn how to

work that thing Gerry. Do you know what you can do?

Borrow from another staff member Gerry: Who?

Trudy: Leung Gerry: Leung?!

Trudy: Yeah! He's got tons! Gerry: He's a weirdo.

Trudy: It's pronounced librarian Gerry: Trudy, I need the copies

I don't have enough copies How about, how about giving me

some of your, your own from your account.

Trudy: Please learn how to use that machine Gerry. I'm begging

you. Learn how to use it.

Gerry: Trudy can you help me with this at all or...?

Trudy: No, sorry. Moulder of young minds.

Gerry: Need another copier here.

You need to spend some money and get a new copier.

Gerry: Ok, you have 180 marks. Please wait til I have handed

these out before you get started keep your eyes on your own exam

do not start until I tell you and good luck. Get started.

If you have any question raise your hand and I will come to you

Lewis:Can we write on both sides Gerry: Ok I just said if you

have a question Lewis, raise your hand. No, you cannot write

on the back. Just write on the space that I have provided

there on the front. Maya: What if we run out

of room on the one side? Gerry: Seriously everybody

really need you to raise your hand during an exam if you have

a question. Do not write on the back of the paper. Thank you

Ben: That was a really bad waste of paper.

Gerry: Ok, that wasn't a question, that was a comment

A wasted comment. Look, if you write on both sides, when I mark

these I gotta mark it and I have to flip it over and then I have

to flip it over, and then I do this and then I gotta go back to

this side and flip it. It takes forever. So if you want these

back in a month, then you can write on the back.

Is this a question? Jimmy: Yes it is.

Gerry: Go ahead. Jimmy: Don't you always take at

least a month to hand our stuff? Gerry: That's not a question

that's a comment. Jimmy: No, that was a question.

Gerry: No, that was a dig. Thanks to Jimmy and Lewis and

Maya and Ben you now have 85 minutes to write the exam

Gerry: Something interesting about the time there Lewis?

Lewis: What? No! Gerry: Yeah, bring it up here

please. I'm not an idiot.

If I catch anyone talking or looking or cheating

if I suspect you're cheating, you'll get zero.

[Fire alarm sounds] Gerry: Oh, ah don't look, don't

stop looking please, stop looking and...

Lisa: Hey, umm...

so I'm gonna guess that you didn't do that second version

of the exam that I suggested. Gerry: No, glad you're not smug

about it. Lisa: Good luck with that

Robert: I'll try and get everyone back inside

as quickly as possible. At times like this you really realize how

fleeting life is huh? How vulnerable we truly are.

Gerry: There they are. Robert: Do you know what I mean?

Gerry: Looky, looky Lewis and Clarke. Nice trick boys.

Lewis: Um, trick? We didn't... that wasn't us.

Gerry: ...pull the fire alarm? Get the exam delayed, give you

some more time to study, you better hope it's a real fire in

there, that's all I can say. Callaghan: What did you say?

Clarke: Why would we hope that? Lewis: That is, that's just

horrible. Gerry: No, you missed, you

missed the whole beginning of the conversation

Callaghan: I'm listening. Gerry: What I was gonna

Robert: False alarm everybody, back inside, coast is clear.

Gerry: False alarm. Ok I'm glad to hear that.

Tuck your shirt in, fix your tie.

Gerry: Close call Sir.

Bill: Hey man, you're not done that exam yet or what?

Gerry: For me to explain this, all this, books, learning to you

right now is going to be way over a bartenders head, ok?

I wrote my exam, I have to rewrite the same exam

Bill: Why don't you just use the same one?

Gerry: Why don't I just reheat uneaten chicken wings and serve

them to a different customer? Bill: You know that's not the

same thing, right? Gerry: I know it's not, it's a

metaphor Bill. Bill:Actually that's an analogy.

Gerry: Ok, anyway the point this is way over your head

Bill: The lazier a man is, the more he plans to do tomorrow

right? Proverb Gerry: Right that is a...proverb

Bill: You should put that on the exam

Gerry: Mmmm

Was it cold during the cold war?

Malik: Gerary! Sunshine morning! Gerry: Hey, come here Malik

Do they gi, do they give you a photocopy account?

Malik: Give me copies? Gerry: No.

Malik: You need copies? Gerry: I need copies.

Malik: They come, copies making, punch, punch, punch and then

forgot and leave. Gerary, copies Gerry: Teachers don't punch out.

Malik: Ohhh! Gerry: They don't punch out!

Punch out their code, they don't punch out their code so you come

and take...for your yard sale. Malik: Yard Sale!! Yard Sale!

Malik: Yard sale, you coming to yard sale? I make bushkies

I steal all yard sale, steal Gerry: Aw jeez, that's 1 way

to get copies, I guess. Malik: Mmhmm, just watch, punch

Gerry: Ok, alright Malik: You can do [whistles]

Malik: Gerandy! Gerry: I just did what you said

people do...thanks! Malik: No punch

1-2-2-1, I like Gerary, I just make one.

Bobbi: Goin' down!! Nice! Dwyer: Hey guys!

You havin' a good time with... Bobbi: Hey! Yeah, it's awesome.

Dwyer: You're enjoying it huh? Simon: Bobbi's about to die a

miserable death, sorry Dwyer Bobbi: Well that's not something

Dwyer: Last time I saw my dad he was standing right where you're

there Bobbi Bobbie: Is that right?

Dwyer: Yeah, I was supposed to call him the night he passed

away, but I was too busy. All I gotta say is just make time guys

Bobbi: That's something Simon: two

Dwyer:Just try to make time

Simon: Three Bobbi: I can't really, I can't

really play this anymore. Simon: Why, what happened?

Where you going?

Forfeit, forfeit

Malik: Gawee! Leung: I will see you there.

Gerry: Ni hou ma? Leung: I'm doing fine thank you

Gerry: Listen Wayne, I understand that you have a lot

of copies right now in your account and I'm wondering if I

could maybe borrow your account. Grab some copies.

Leung: No, Gerry: So you're not going to

give me any of your copies? Leung: No, I am not.

Gerry: What does that do to your inventory?

How about this?

Just returned you, check your computer.

Simon: Just one game.

Gerry! Little foosball to start your day?

Gerry: Wow when did we get this? Simon: Dwyer's dead dad.

Gerry: Oh really? Love foosball! Simon: Yeah

Gerry: No, I gotta go, I gotta get some copies.

Simon: You need copies eh? Play you for them.

Gerry: Why don't you just give me some copies?

Simon: Come on, where's the fun in that?

Gerry: Oh, you want to play foosball for photocopies?

Simon: Sure Gerry: If I win I get as many as

I need. Simon: Ok and if I win we hang

out for a night... Gerry: No, that's not happening.

Simon: ...Drinks? Gerry: K, you buy.

Simon: Deal, k happy Gerry: Let's be quick, I have

very little time. Dwyer: Hey guys!

Simon: [whispers] Oh no! Gerry: Sorry about your dad.

Dwyer: that's cool, things happen but you know my dad

really loved this table ok? He had one silly rule

that no one could touch his favourite player.

Gerry: That player. Well then we should honour that rule.

Dwyer: Thanks Gerry! Gerry: Ok, out of respect for

Gerry: his father...yeah Dwyer: I really appreciate it.

Simon: That's my goalie. Gerry: I know, but.

Dwyer: You guys don't mind if I watch though eh?

Gerry: No, stay, watch we're having a little wager here.

Gerry: Cheer us on! Let's go! I don't know how you're going to

do this with the goalie. Anyway...

Simon: You know what? I don't need my goalie, because I'm not

even playing against you. As they say "You don't play against

your opponent you play against yourself and your own

higher goals...and standards on your route

to becoming the best and that is real joy" end of quote

Gerry: Nobody ever said that Dwyer: No, no my dad always used

to say that. Simon: No he didn't! Come on!

I made that up Gerry: No his dad said it.

Simon: No, that's ridiculous. He's making up things about his

dad for sympathy. Dwyer: Excuse me.

Gerry: No, that's so insensitive Simon: Dwyer, please I'm sorry.

Gerry: We are playing, you made a bet.

Simon: Without a goalie? Get off Dwyer!?

Gerry: You may begin. By the way I had to photocopy these myself

with my own money, because the school does not give me enough

photocopies. So you may notice the size 8 font

just to help save some costs, cut down on paper. Funny story,

actually, when I first got my copy account I never even

Ben: Sir, we don't have a lot of time.

Gerry: You have 90 minutes that's plenty of time.

Jimmy's done in like 15.

I just have to step out for a second, but

just keep working quietly.

I might be gone for a couple minutes...be right back.

Simon: Hey, is this seat taken here?

Look, I know what you're going through. It's hard to say

goodbye to a father. Dwyer: You're telling me.

It's so hard. Simon: I know. Like, me and my

dad had the greatest fishing trip this weekend. We never

catch anything but we always have the greatest time. I don't

know what I'd do without him. Dwyer: Why'd you come here?

Simon: All I'm saying is that if I ever did lose my father,

god forbid, that would be the worst thing in the world.

to happen to me, personally. I'd cry, but if I ever did,

he wouldn't want me to stop fishing and he wouldn't want me

to ruin fishing for anyone else. Dwyer: I understand.

Yeah, I gotta go put the goalie back in the net. Thanks Simon.

Simon: We're still talking about your dead dad right?

'Cause I don't know what happened at the end of

that conversation.

Gerry: 45 minutes left everybody, 45 minutes.

[fire alarm sounds] Gerry: No, no, no, no,

sit, sit, sit, sit! It's another false alarm. Nobody's going

anywhere this time. Ben: How do you know?

Gerry: I know, I have a hunch, isn't that right Lewis? Huh?

Isn't that right? A little hunch.

Lewis: Sir, this isn't me

Gerry: Keep... Robert: Mr. Duncan! This is not

a drill. Gerry: It's a drill everybody,

ignore him. It is a drill. Ben: Are you sure it's a drill?

Gerry: I'm 100% sure, keep going, this is a drill, just

keep writing. Robert: Mr Duncan! you have to

evacuate your students immediately!

Gerry: No, no that's what Lewis wants. We are not evacuating.

Keep writing. Maya: Sir! It's starting to

feel real. Chief: Sir, open this door now!

Gerry: No, he has to come, that's what they do they have

to get out of the hall, 'cause they get bored out of their tree

this is not real. Get out! It's real I think it's real. Let's go

It's real, come on, it's real, it must be real.

Callaghan: Thanks Barry, I appreciate it.

Chief: You're just lucky it wasn't a real fire this time.

Make sure it doesn't happen again.

Callaghan: I will Robert: We will.

Callaghan: Not letting the kids out of class during a fire alarm

Duncan. Robert: You're lucky we were

able to get them out alive! Gerry: It wasn't real

Robert: You didn't know that at the time.

Gerry: I knew that Sir, the students pull the alarms to get

out of exams. It's the oldest trick in the book,

these are brothers, this is what they do.

Callaghan: Not possible. It's faulty wiring.

Robert: Mr Duncan, what it comes down to is this, you've given us

no choice but to go ahead and let you go.

Callaghan: Robert! Robert: What Sir, carry on with

the firing. Callaghan: Look, everyone gets

edgy during exams but under no circumstances can you keep the

kids in the classroom during a fire alarm. Do you understand?

Gerry: I understand. Robert: Do you?

Gerry: I won't do it again.

Gerry: Because of this exam situation, the exam is now one

question, and I will dictate the question, it'll be worth 80

marks. Here we go, let's write it down and good luck. 80 marks.

When...did...Columbus, nope change that, actually sorry

I'm thinking of another, cross that out.

Where...in history...sorry, that's not the question

Here we go, ready? I got it. This is it.

What was World War II.....about? Question mark.

What, what was World War II about? Question mark.

Maya: Isn't that a little broad? Gerry: Yeah and that's the point

is it's to give you some room to to write it's 80 marks Maya, so

Lewis? Lewis: Um, do you want us to

to focus on, on an aspect? Or just all of it?

Gerry: Just the whole thing, the whole war from beginning to end

What was it about? Was it about people and stuff? Was it about

death? I mean I don't want to give you answers but I try not

give away the answer, but take your own spin on it, think

use your minds. Jimmy? Jimmy: Does it matter what

colour pen we use? Gerry: No, it doesn't matter,

blue is fine, any colour Jimmy. You don't even finish the exams

I don't know... Jimmy: You're right

Bill: Ugh, there goes your weekend eh? Marking?

Gerry: Not really. Let me explain how this works.

If these were regular tests, what I would do is find the

smartest student, it's Maya and I would mark hers first

Bill: Right... Gerry: Then I'd use that as my

answer key, but these are essay questions, now if I were to read

these it would take forever. So I don't, so I look at their mark

going into it ok? Like Maya, where's Maya?

has the highest mark in the class, there she is.

So that's my answer key. Bill: Don't you already know the

answers? Gerry: Mmm, sometimes their's

are better. I gotta give her a good mark, a couple circles

and then sometimes, too vague, too vague that way I don't have

her 100 Bill: Yeah, keep it realistic.

Gerry: 96, I give her a little more than she has going in

that way she won't come back and challenge me ok?

Bill: Right that's a good system Gerry:Jimmy Jimmy, look at Jimmy

Nothing, garbage, waste of time Bill: Right, nothing.

Gerry: 33, there's some words there, but I have no time to

read them, so then I get angry. Jimmy, ridiculous, this has got

to stop. Bill: He could say the same

thing to you. Gerry: Ok? You got the system?

Bill: Yeah, good system buddy. Gerry: You do those ones.

Bill: You want me to mark them? Gerry: You don't really mark,

Bill: Alright Gerry: you just put marks on it

Gerry: you put a circle... Bill: That seems good...

Bill: I'm a forger. Gerry: Ok, here's Mike

Now, Mike's got a 62 Bill: You should give him an 80

Gerry: Give him an 80 make his day, ok? And he goes home, his

parents are excited, I like that, finally!

Bill: You've been routing for him the whole time.

Gerry: Yeah! About time. Thank you. This person, Shawna

I don't like her. Drives me nuts, so what I do is I fail her

on the exam, but I just give her enough to pass the course

so I don't have to teach her again. So it's like a lot of

check marks and question marks, underline some things, a couple

good comments. Bill: Mediocre.

Gerry: I haven't used that one, happy face, smile

Bill: That's uh, disturbing. Gerry: You are almost a teacher.

Maya: Mr. Duncan? Gerry: Ah, here we go...

Yes Maya? Maya: I have a question about

the exams you gave back. Gerry: Ok, that's a surprise.

Maya: You wrote "too vague" on my paper, I don't know where or

what you're even talking about

Gerry: Did I do that?

Hmm, too vague...you don't think your answer was too vague?

Maya: No, I think I did a great job.

Gerry: Alright, alright, let's get it a little higher there 99

Maya: Thank you Gerry: You're welcome

Maya: But, can you tell me where I lost the one point?

Gerry: You are a tough cookie, let me tell you, 100%

that's as high as I can go Maya: Perfect, thanks Mr. D.

Gerry: Alright...Mr. D