Original subtitles

Gerry: You're gonna like this.

Dark Ages

The Dark Ages were called the Dark Ages becau...

Sheila: Because it was a period of intellectual darkness that

followed the decline of the Roman Empire.

Gerry: No...because there were so many knights

Knights! Come on seriously? Knights!

No, don...don't write this down, don't. Are you guys kidding me?

Jonathan: It's like a riddle? Gerry: No, it's not a riddle,

it's a joke. It's a joke, it's a very clever joke.

Jonathan: So which answer's right?

Gerry: Seriously Jonathan? Which ans...Both answers are right

Both, I will accept my answer, or Sheila's answer on the test

Mine is a better answer, a funnier answer, it's too funny

it's over your heads, that's the problem. It just went, whoosh

too clever, I'll dumb it down a bit for you next time.

♪ I'm awesome. No you're not dude don't lie.

♪ I'm awesome. I'm driving around in my mom's ride.

♪ I'm awesome. A quarter of my life gone by.

♪ I'm awesome, awesome, awesome.

Gerry sighsRobert: Bobbi?

Bobbi: Yeah?Robert:Phys Ed department update

Bobbi: YupRobert: Mr. Webster will not be

returning to us.Bobbi: Mmmhmm, why?

Gerry: You're gonna need areplacement right away.

Robert: Gerry, would you like to have this

conversation with Bobbi?Gerry: Yes, Bobbi?

Bobbi: No, noRobert: Gerry, you can't, you

don't know what I'm going to sayGerry: I have an idea...

Robert: The point is, when twopeople are talking,

you don't interrupt, soGerry Whispers: Yeah ok.

Robert: Point Taken. Gerry: No, you can't say

something and then say point taken. I could

say point taken on whatyou said, but I didn't

because I didn't agree with it.Now, you could say point

point taken to what I said.Robert: I could, yeah

Gerry: Oh...but...Bobbi: Stop talking, the point

is, we need to move fast on thisso I need resume's on my desk as

soon as possible. Like ASAP!Gerry: Point taken, which means

I agree, I'm, I get it, I'm gonna do that, understand?

Gerry: You guys are aware Mr. Webster's no

longer at the school? Maya: What happened

to Mr. Webster? Gerry: It doesn't matter what

happened. Jimmy: Heard he started dating a

girl in grade 12 Gerry: Jimmy, you can't spread

rumours like that. Jimmy: I'm stating facts sir

Gerry: Who? Who...who... who was the girl?

Jimmy: I heard it was Jenna Bledsoe.

Maya: She's such a slut. Gerry: Maya! You can't say that

a student's a slut! That is ridiculous. Why would you say

she's a slut? Maya: Just the stuff I heard

she does with guys. Gerry: Would you stop!?

Like what? Like what kind of stuff? What kind of stuff?

No, you know what? This is silly. Point is, I'm gonna be

moving into the phys-ed department, I think.

Maya: I saw a phys-ed looking guy in the main office this

morning, I bet he gets the job. Gerry: Why would you say he

gets it? Maya: Just 'cause he looks like

a phys-ed teacher. Gerry: There's no such thing,

that, I, I'm a phys-ed looking guy then, maybe I'll get it.

Maya: He's younger Gerry: Younger?

Maya: Younger Gerry: How old do you

guys think I am? Jimmy: 46

Gerry: How old? Jimmy: 46

Gerry: 46 Jimmy: 46

Gerry: You think I'm 46? Jimmy: Everyday I walk in here,

I look at your face and see 46 Gerry: I see 32 when I look at

you how does that make you feel? Jimmy: Awesome

Gerry: Awesome?! 46...how many people think I'm 46?

Gerry: Oh, you...oh my god!

Robert: Ah, just like I told you, Ms Mason can often be found

hard at work at her desk. Or at least pretending to be hard at

work. Rebecca: Mr Cheeley, you're

hilarious. Robert: Guilty.

Robert: Ms Mason, this is Rebecca Lewis, your new

student teacher. Lisa: Hi, it's really nice to

finally meet you. Robert: I'll be evaluating

Rebecca based on her teaching here at Xavier. In fact

Rebecca's teaching future is in my hands, literally,

but from what I've seen so far things are looking pretty good.

Lisa: Well, we'll have to see. Robert: Good thing I'm the one

doing your evaluation huh? Rebecca: Mr. Cheeley! Behave!

Robert: Please, call me Robert Cheeley.

Gerry: Hey, Gerry. Karl: Karl.

Gerry: Phys-ed interview? Karl: Uh, yes.

Karl: Oh, no worries. Been like that most of my life.

Gerry: Oh, sorry.

Gerry: Lawnmower? Karl: No

Gerry: No...so how do you teach soccer throw in's? Cause that

that, cause a one, a one arm, is, is, throw in is illegal.

It's against the rules... archery? Stuff like that

Karl: Well... Bobbi: Hey, you must be Karl.

Karl: Yes Bobbi: Thanks for coming in on

such short notice. Um, your, uh, ah, your resume

[Bobbi clears her throat]

Ah, your resume looks great and I'm just, I'm just going to go

in a quick meeting with the vice principal and I'll be right back

Karl: Ok. Bobbi: Thank you.

Gerry: Well, good luck Karl. Karl: Thanks.

Gerry: Alright, hope the interview goes well.

Gerry: Was it a windmill? Karl: No

Gerry: Not a windmill.

Lisa: ...so Ms. Lewis and Mr. Cheeley will be spending a few

days in our class this week. Robert: I'll take it from here

Ms. Mason. Now, I know for a fact that when Ms. Lewis starts

teaching later this week, you will extend to her, the same

level of courtesy and respect you give to Ms. Mason.

Maybe more. Lisa: I wouldn't say more, it's

Robert: Please Ms. Mason, don't interrupt me when I'm speaking

to the students. Carry on. Lisa: If you wanted to say

something to the class on your first day, go for it.

Rebecca: Sure, ok. Hey guys. I'm super excited to be here.

You might find that my approach to teaching is a little bit

different than Ms. Mason's but, I, I don't mean this in a bad

way or anything, but mine might be a little more fun . So dress

casual tomorrow. Colin: Ms. Lewis?

Rebecca: Yeah? Colin: We wear uniforms.

Rebecca: Right, well in your minds then.

Lisa: Oh, we can't use phones in the school.

Rebecca: Oh, it's cool, I've got four bars.

Lisa: Oh, um...ok, let's start from our last class, now who

can tell me what the largest mountain range in Europe is?

Rebecca: Oh, I loved Europe. Can't wait to go back.

Robert: Sounds like you've been bitten by the travel bug huh?

Rebecca: Definitely. Robert: You know a place I love

going? Rebecca: What?

Robert: French Guiana Rebecca: Oh really?

Robert: It's amazing, a little taste of Europe down south.

Beautiful beaches, amazing wines Rebecca: Oh, sounds great.

Lisa [background]: ...in the Oxford dictionary a mountain is

defined as a natural elevation of the earth's surface rising...

Gerry: There you are.

Gerry: Peshew Bobbi: Yeah, ok. Thanks.

Gerry: My resume Bobbi: I'm just in the middle of

something Gerry, ok? Don't really have time for it

right now, ok? Jeff: Got it.

Gerry: Oh! Bobbi: Hey.

Gerry: Well, hello me. I feel like I'm looking in the

mirror right now, are you serious?

Jeff: Excuse me? Bobbi: Um, Jeff, this is Gerry,

he's one of our social science teachers

Jeff: Oh, hey. Nice to meet you. Gerry: You too, this is...

Bobbi: I'm sorry Gerry: This is...

Bobbi: Oh gosh Jeff: Listen, thanks very much

for your time and I look forward to hearing from you.

Bobbi: Yeah, great. Jeff: Gerry, nice to meet you.

See you around. Gerry: Yeah, you know where

you'll see me? In the mirror. I've heard of having a twin

in the world, this is insane that you're right...we met.

Bobbi: Wait, so Jeff, Jeff's your twin? So this fit young guy

you're thinking he's your twin? Gerry: Twin. Exactly, you can't

hire him there's no, sorry, there's no way, it would be so

confusing for everybody. Bobbi: Cause he's your twin?

Gerry: Yeah, exactly. Bobbi: Thank you so much

Jeff: Thank you, really nice to meet you.

Bobbi: I so appreciate your time Gerry: Good

luck, man Jeff: Gerry, Good to meet you.

Gerry: Even our names sound the same.

Bobbi: What are you talking about? Jeff, Gerry?

They don't sound any... Gerry: No say it fast. JeffGerry

Bobbi: JeffGerry/JeffGerry Gerry: JeffGerry. Faster.

Gerry: JeffGerry/JeffGerry Bobbi: JeffGerry/JeffGerry

Gerry: Really fast, see? Bobbi: JeffGerry, well your

twin was really good. Gerry: Well good, that means

I'm going to be really good. You can have the

real Gerry or the fake Gerry.

[Music playing from car]

[Music continues]

Gerry: Sir, I wanted to talk to you about the phys-ed posi...

Oh my gosh! Those are quite the shorts.

Callaghan: Bobbi's taking care of that. Look I was just about

to do some yoga, helps with my Krav Maga.

Gerry: Heard baby powder helps with that too.

Callaghan: Really? Baby powder helps with Israeli

martial arts training? Gerry: No, I have not heard that

interesting. Sir, if I get into phys-ed, I'm gonna do yoga

I'm gonna do Krav... Callaghan: Krav Maga

Alright, you can stay. Just be quiet.

Gerry: Why am I looking at this?

Lisa: Robert, I think we have a problem with Rebecca.

Robert: Oh no, is she in danger? Lisa: No, no. She's not prepared

to teach yet. You're not honestly gonna give her a good

evaluation, are you? Trudy: Is she good looking?

Robert: Oh yeah. Trudy: There's your answer

Robert: Lisa, look you don't get to be vice principal at Xavier

Academy by playing favourites. I think you're being a little hard

on Rebecca. Lisa: Am I? Because I saw her

this morning hanging out with students in the parking lot.

Robert: Unbelievable. Lisa: Yeah

Robert: That is going above and beyond the call of duty. Getting

to know the students like that? That is so progressive.

Lisa: She was supposed to be observing my class

Robert: What if I hold off on passing any kind of judgement

until Rebecca's finished her practicum?

Lisa: Fine. Just, please, be honest when you evaluate her.

Robert: Lisa, you don't get to be vice principal at Xavier

Academy... Trudy: You already said that

Robert. Robert: That was for the "don't

play favourites" part. This is a different part...

Trudy: Yeah, we get that. Robert: You're so

great. Trudy: Mmmhmmm

Gerry: Done spreading rumours about Mr. Webster yet?

Jimmy: Sir, I'm just telling you what I heard. There's Jenna

right over there, you can go ask her yourself.

Gerry: Well, I've already told you, I have no interest in

hearing about this Mr. Webster with a student. Which one?

Which one...which girl?

Whispers: Hey, wasn't done talking Jimmy.

Ahhhhhh, Jenna Bledsoe? Jenna: I'm Jenna

Gerry: Oh, wow... wow, you're Jenna.

Jenna: Yes Sir, do you need me for anything?

Gerry: Sooo, are you related... are you related to Drew Bledsoe?

Jenna: Um, I, I don't think so Gerry: Quarterback? OK, that

was...ok. I like that, that's neat, it hurts I bet

Peace girls.

What was Webster thinking?

Lisa: Ms. Lewis will be teaching our class today so please pay

attention and... Robert: So, without further

adieu, Ms. Lewis. Stand up

Lisa: Sit, sit

Robert: Now, watch. Trust me, I know people.

Rebecca: Ok class, how much do you know about Amsterdam.

Rebecca: Yes? Colin: It's in the Netherlands?

Rebecca: No, I mean, like how much do you know about

Amsterdam? You need to realize you can't

learn everything from a textbook.

For example, I was in Amsterdam one summer.

I ended up with no money. Nothing.

Do you think knowing that Amsterdam was in the Netherlands

would have helped me? No.

I made it out of that jam through hard work and street

smarts and you know, just being open to whatever and whoever

came along. I danced double, even triple shifts,

I even got used to that red light in my face all the time.

Within a couple months, I was finally on my way back home

Now you show me where it teaches you any of that in your precious

textbooks. Robert: Well? Care to apologize?

Bobbi: Hey, we need to move your interview up to tonight...

Is that ok with you? Gerry: Yeah. Hey, uh, how are

the interviews going? Bobbi: Yeah, good. Some duds,

but some good ones too. Gerry: Yeah. How's the guy that

my, my twin, like the guy that Jeff, my brother from anoth...

Bobbi: One of the good ones. Gerry: He was, he was one of the

good...wow, that's good for... well ya got, ya got a Jeff

ya got a Jeff already in the school. So I could, so it just

make...it would be, it would be easier cause I would

Bobbi: Yeah, I got it. Gerry: Cool

Bobbi: Your resume was really impressive Gerry, ok?

Gerry: Oh, thank you Bobbi. Bobbi: Ok. You didn't make

any of that up did ya? Gerry: No...No...I don't...ok...

I don't, I'm not a skeet shooter. I didn't, I don't

skeet shoot. Bobbi: Yeah, that was the one

I doubted. Gerry: Ok

Gerry laughing: Why did...why did she think I made stuff up?

I might not have been on the dean's list...every year.

Gerry: See at job interviews, what they do is they try to

trick ya, they ask you - what are your weaknesses?

I make some up. I try too hard, I care too much.

That way it feels like a weakness but it's a strength.

Just a trick, you can do that. It's hard when you don't really

know what your weaknesses are. Ben: Sir, uh, I could suggest

some weaknesses for you. Gerry: Ok, give me a weakness.

Ben: Uh, you leave in the middle of the class a lot.

Gerry: Ok, not a lot, but I gotta go to the washroom

sometimes. You get to leave, why can't I?

Maya: You definitely have ADD. Gerry: ADD is not a weakness.

It's a strength, cause I can... girls please, back there...

cause I can think of many things at once.

See that? I was talking and then I noticed them. Stop playing

with the paper, alright? That's a strength.

This is amazing, by the way.

Gerry: I can't believe how bright it is. Get me some of

those highlighters. Maya: Your tests are too easy.

Gerry: Jimmy, Jimmy's failing. Are my tests too easy?

Jimmy: No. Gerry: No. Uh ah, nice try.

Ben: You show a lot of movies. Gerry: You know what? You talk

too much. That's a weakness...so if you go to a job and they say

What are your weaknesses Ben? Um, I talk too much, see ya.

Write that down. Oh, remember the other day everybody, Maya

was talking about the guy who looked like a phys-ed teacher?

He had one arm. Maya: What's wrong with one arm?

Gerry: That's not funny, that's sad, but he does not look like a

phys-ed teacher with one arm. So, Maya's weakness is her

eyesight. Maya...I'm over here.

That's your weakness, can't see arms on people.

That might cost you a job.

Robert: Well, I have written an awful lot of evaluation letters

in my time and I'm known for being a bit of a tough Gus but I

don't know if I've ever written a letter that glows like this

one. Rebecca: Well, thank you Robert.

Robert: And now here we are huh? After a short, but intense

period, faced with the difficult task of having to say...

Rebecca: Yeah, ok Robert: Hey!

Love to hear more about Amsterdam sometime.

Heck, we could even go. Rebecca: That'd be fun.

I'll call ya. Robert: Great!

Lisa: Does she have your number?

Robert: Let me have this. Lisa: Ok

Robert: Mr. Duncan Gerry: Hello

Robert: What's with the flowers? Gerry: Those are for you.

Bobbi: Why would you bring flowers to a job interview?

Gerry: Oh, I thought it was something that was nice...

Robert: It's a little unprofessional.

Bobbi: Yeah, not to mention sexist Gerry.

Gerry: How is it sexist? Bobbi: Well, did you bring any

flowers for Mr. Cheeley? Robert: Yeah, flowers for me?

Gerry: Oh, ok...and I did.

Bobbi: You thought that you could win me over by buying me

flowers because I'm a woman. Ok, that is just sexist.

Gerry: It's not sexist is you're a woman on the same team...

as all the women. Bobbi: What?

Gerry: What? Bobbi: Are you saying that you

think I'm a lesbian? I mean, the fact that I have a live in

boyfriend of eight years that's not enough of a clue to you?

Gerry: We read that, we read that wrong.

Bobbi: Yeah. Let's get this over with.

Gerry: Ok. Whoo.

Robert: Look, Mr. Duncan, the truth of the matter is we're

gonna hire Jeff for the position Bobbi: Yeah.

Gerry: But, I don't...why? I'm Jeff, you have Jeff in me.

You have me here already. Have you told him? Can we...

Bobbi: No, no, the reality of the situation is this...

Gerry: Oh, I get it...you hired a guy that looks like me,

acts like me, is me, same age as me, so you wouldn't lose me

in the social sciences department.

Bobbi: ...Yeah...yeah that's it, it would just be easier for us

to hire a phys-ed teacher from outside the school than

disrupting the social sciences department entirely, you know?

Gerry: I get it. It makes sense. Bobbi: Yeah.

Gerry: From your perspective that would be a lot easier.

Bobbi: Yeah Gerry: It's gonna be confusing

for Jeff and me. Ok, I get it. Well, I thank you.

Mr. Cheeley, thank you...and Ms Galka, thank you.

Bobbi: I can't believe he thought I was a lesbian.

Robert: I know, I haven't thought that for years.

Ever since I met Craig. Bobbi: What that's when you

knew? Robert: Mmmhmm

Bobbi: Huh...

Lisa: Hey, I hear we have a new PE teacher.

Gerry: Hey, yeah they couldn't give it to me cause it would

have screwed up the whole social sciences department, so...

Lisa: Oh, well that's good. Gerry: Have you seen him?

Lisa: No, is he cute? Gerry: Oh, well, you'll see, not

really for me to say, but you'll understand.

Lisa: How old is he? Gerry: Oh, probably about my age

probably the exact same age. Oh, did you hear Mr. Webster got

fired for dating a student? Lisa: What?!

Gerry: Yeah, Jenna Bledsoe, have you seen Jenna Bledsoe?

Lisa: No Gerry: If I was gonna lose my

job for dating a student, it would not be Jenna Bledsoe.

Lisa: That's, that's gross. That's really gross.

Gerry: I'd never do it, I'm saying if that was...

Gerry: Bobbi, glad you fired Mr. Webster.

Lisa: Yeah Gerry: Cause that was wrong.

Bobbi: No, he didn't get fired, his wife got transferred

to a new city. Lisa: You idiot.

Gerry: Well, somebody better tell Jenna Bledsoe, poor Jenna.

Jeff: Hey! Gerry: Oh hey, congrats,

by the way. Jeff: Thanks. Gerry right?

Gerry: Yeah, Gerry, the kids call me Mr. D.

Jeff: Yeah Gerry: You might start getting

that. Jeff: Well look, looking forward

to working with ya. Gerry: Mmm

Jeff: It's, ah, first day tomorrow so I gotta...

Gerry: Why don't we have a quick little one on one?

Jeff: Oh, yeah, I'm not really dressed for it today.

Gerry: Come on, just one basket? Come on...

Jeff: Alright, one basket. Gerry: Alright, age, before

beauty...and strength Jeff: Yeah, ok.

Gerry: Nope, no, no, no, carry, you went like that

Jeff: Ok

Gerry: Close Jeff: Alright

Gerry: Ok, good try.

Gerry: miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss.

Jeff: Hey, Gerry, thanks a lot, that was a lot of fun.

Gerry: That was fun, that a blast. That was a foul,

that was a foul. Ok. Jeff: Take it easy. Later Gerry.

Gerry: Big time foul

Gerry: Damn

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