All language subtitles for Magic.Max.2021.HDRip.XviD.AC3-EVO.ENG
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Filipino
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hindi
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Igbo
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kannada
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Malayalam
Maltese
Maori
Marathi
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese
Punjabi
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Sundanese
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Telugu
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Xhosa
Yiddish
Yoruba
Zulu
Odia (Oriya)
Kinyarwanda
Turkmen
Tatar
Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
2
00:00:16,551 --> 00:00:22,356
Here at Magic Motors,
we make high prices disappear.
3
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:29,764
Prices disappear.
4
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:32,332
They're not disappearing.
6
00:02:32,787 --> 00:02:33,788
Oh, he's coming!
7
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:55,610
All right, you clowns, gather around
here, I wanna talk to you.
8
00:02:59,881 --> 00:03:03,751
I've got cars out there
gathering dust people!
9
00:03:03,785 --> 00:03:10,390
Now you stiffs have got to get John Q and
Jane Q's signatures on these contracts.
10
00:03:10,424 --> 00:03:13,761
And then you turn your
attention to the other lollipops
11
00:03:13,795 --> 00:03:15,663
that are coming onto the lot.
12
00:03:15,697 --> 00:03:19,634
Mr. Grismer,
some of them just want to look.
13
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,669
Want to look?
14
00:03:21,703 --> 00:03:27,474
People come on this lot because they
prefer to drive, rather than walk.
15
00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:32,547
Now your job is to
sell from the heart.
16
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:35,850
From the gut.
If you're not prepared to do that,
17
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:39,687
then you can get your
low-production butt off my lot
18
00:03:39,721 --> 00:03:42,623
and make room
for somebody who is.
19
00:03:42,657 --> 00:03:46,527
Now, get out there and shove
those cars down their throats
20
00:03:46,561 --> 00:03:48,996
before I really blow a gasket!
21
00:03:55,503 --> 00:03:57,905
Somebody bring me
some hot coffee.
22
00:04:06,881 --> 00:04:08,883
Oh. Hi, little girl.
23
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:10,718
Would you like to see
a magic trick?
24
00:04:10,752 --> 00:04:12,987
Can you make yourself
disappear?
25
00:04:13,020 --> 00:04:15,656
As soon as happy hour gets here.
26
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:18,425
My dad says you probably
didn't go to college.
27
00:04:18,458 --> 00:04:21,028
My dad sells Cryptocurrency.
28
00:04:21,062 --> 00:04:24,632
Well, I sell wonder and amazement
under the guise of used car sales.
29
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:27,001
He says in five years,
you'll be homeless.
30
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,070
Well, that'd be a step up.
Now, beat it, kid,
31
00:04:29,103 --> 00:04:31,338
before I turn your freckles
into liver spots.
32
00:04:36,511 --> 00:04:40,413
I hear your attitude was
lousy out there today.
33
00:04:40,447 --> 00:04:42,650
Yeah, You know,
I think the smell of
34
00:04:42,683 --> 00:04:46,319
baby puke might have weakened
my charming personality.
35
00:04:46,353 --> 00:04:51,893
You're paid to entertain,
not depress everybody.
36
00:04:51,926 --> 00:04:54,929
I bring the stiffs in Grismer.
You know what?
37
00:04:54,962 --> 00:04:57,031
Sometimes I think you forget...
38
00:04:58,498 --> 00:05:01,569
who needs who.
39
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:06,707
Pitchmen are a dime a dozen, and your
tricks are putting people to sleep.
40
00:05:06,741 --> 00:05:13,047
It's only a matter of time until your
dime-store magic isn't needed around here.
41
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,850
And there'll come a time
when I land the big trick,
42
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:18,519
people lined up around the block
43
00:05:18,553 --> 00:05:22,790
and you...
you begging me to stay.
44
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,493
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
45
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:31,132
Well, until that day happens
or until hell freezes over,
46
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:33,501
you better shape up or ship out.
47
00:05:34,168 --> 00:05:36,504
Yeah. Yeah.
48
00:05:40,942 --> 00:05:44,078
I don't know how much
more of this I can take, Mike.
49
00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:45,378
Grismer?
50
00:05:46,948 --> 00:05:50,685
- I need a new job.
- Me too.
51
00:05:50,718 --> 00:05:53,554
You're too good for this place.
You should open your own shop.
52
00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:56,489
With what money?
53
00:05:56,524 --> 00:06:00,061
You're wasting your prime years, Mike...
on Grismer. Think about it.
54
00:06:00,094 --> 00:06:02,864
You are, too.
55
00:06:02,897 --> 00:06:07,400
Yes, but only physically.
Not my soaring soul.
56
00:06:09,604 --> 00:06:11,706
There's no magic here.
57
00:06:17,712 --> 00:06:20,948
Hey, Max.
Just waiting for backup.
58
00:06:24,218 --> 00:06:27,188
Doing okay there, buddy?
59
00:06:27,221 --> 00:06:30,992
Yeah, why do you ask?
60
00:06:31,025 --> 00:06:34,795
Well, it seems your friend
Vinnie is at it again.
61
00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:38,032
No, no, no. He's actually more of
a neighborly acquaintance, Carl.
62
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,668
When he isn't blasted,
Vinnie is the kind of guy who
63
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,970
makes death wishes before he
blows out his birthday candles.
64
00:06:43,004 --> 00:06:46,974
Wait, how often do you deal with
suicidal situations?
65
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:52,780
Every morning.
Right before I walk into work.
66
00:06:55,917 --> 00:06:58,686
- Is that you, Max?
- Yeah.
67
00:06:58,719 --> 00:06:59,887
Yeah, me and
68
00:06:59,921 --> 00:07:01,789
three news crews
down the street.
69
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:05,026
You're getting more press
than I am, Vinnie.
70
00:07:05,059 --> 00:07:07,494
I lost my job, Max.
I'm a failure!
71
00:07:07,528 --> 00:07:09,230
Yeah. Of course you are.
72
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:11,232
- You've been drinking?
- No.
73
00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:14,835
- Why the hell not?
- I hate the world, Max!
74
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:17,738
What's to hate, Vinnie?
You never leave your house.
75
00:07:17,772 --> 00:07:21,108
I should just hang myself
and get it over with.
76
00:07:21,142 --> 00:07:24,946
You'd look like a human pinata.
77
00:07:24,979 --> 00:07:28,049
- Hold on.
- I don't know if I can, Max.
78
00:07:28,082 --> 00:07:31,719
Kill me, please.
I want to die.
79
00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:34,121
- Oh, God.
- Hey! I haven't read that yet!
80
00:07:34,155 --> 00:07:37,024
It's the morning paper, Ralph.
It's five o'clock in the afternoon.
81
00:07:37,058 --> 00:07:39,894
Let me guess, Vinnie. Will you tell
him to just end it already, you?
82
00:07:39,927 --> 00:07:41,963
Yeah. I'll relay your
kind thoughts.
83
00:07:41,996 --> 00:07:44,932
Hey, Max. I want the
crossword section.
84
00:07:44,966 --> 00:07:48,169
Try and keep that commotion down.
I'm tired of that no-good bum.
85
00:07:48,202 --> 00:07:50,738
Your a humanitarian, Ralph,
did you know that?
86
00:07:51,639 --> 00:07:53,473
Okay, Vinnie.
87
00:07:54,809 --> 00:07:56,811
Guy with your looks is...
88
00:07:56,844 --> 00:08:00,081
- probably good with his hands.
- Yeah.
89
00:08:00,114 --> 00:08:02,116
A little shaky right now,
though.
90
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:06,053
Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
How about a maintenance job?
91
00:08:06,087 --> 00:08:08,956
I did fix your toaster
a few weeks back.
92
00:08:08,990 --> 00:08:12,293
Yeah. Yeah, It burns real good
on one side right now.
93
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:17,765
You know, Vinnie, why don't you try
looking on the brighter side, huh?
94
00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:21,736
Remember, I once complained
about a hole in my shoe
95
00:08:21,769 --> 00:08:24,939
until I met a man
with no feet. Hmm?
96
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,575
What does that mean?
97
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:30,711
It means, Vinnie,
people got it worse than you.
98
00:08:30,745 --> 00:08:33,614
I know a guy,
works a nowhere job.
99
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:36,650
No purpose in his life.
Drinks way too much.
100
00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:38,552
His father thinks he's a loser.
101
00:08:38,586 --> 00:08:40,621
He only has one friend
in the whole world.
102
00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:43,657
Can't even buy a date unless he
makes them his lovely assistant.
103
00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:48,129
Man! I'm glad
I'm not him, Max.
104
00:08:48,162 --> 00:08:52,633
He's just one signature trick
away from fame and fortune.
105
00:08:52,666 --> 00:08:59,774
Oh, so sad. Whoever this person
is, it made me appreciate my life.
106
00:08:59,807 --> 00:09:01,776
Who is this sorry excuse
for a human?
107
00:09:01,809 --> 00:09:03,677
I made him up!
108
00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,181
Vinnie.
109
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:09,016
Go have a shot of scotch, huh?
110
00:09:09,050 --> 00:09:11,152
Then you draw a nice hot bath,
111
00:09:11,185 --> 00:09:14,288
with the bubbles
and the candles, like you like.
112
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:17,992
Okay, Max,
you're a real good friend.
113
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:22,596
Is that it? So now what?
114
00:09:22,630 --> 00:09:24,265
Now I go home
and try to figure out
115
00:09:24,298 --> 00:09:26,700
why skipping college
was a good idea.
116
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:29,870
You know, I should probably take
him in this time, Max.
117
00:09:32,006 --> 00:09:35,810
If you don't, Carl, I'll do another
charity event for you guys. Huh?
118
00:09:40,981 --> 00:09:46,754
This should be a really good ending
to a really, really good day.
119
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:49,356
Excuse me. Hi, Mom.
120
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:54,895
What? Mom, slow...
Mom, slow down...
121
00:09:58,399 --> 00:09:59,867
What?
122
00:10:01,669 --> 00:10:04,205
I'm sorry, Max.
123
00:10:04,238 --> 00:10:08,976
I know you and your brother
weren't that close, but still,
124
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:12,079
I'm really sorry.
125
00:10:12,113 --> 00:10:13,781
Shot out of the womb.
126
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:18,152
Different directions,
then never came full circle.
127
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:19,386
It's sad.
128
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:24,091
Plane crash,
I can't believe it.
129
00:10:24,125 --> 00:10:28,362
He was with his wife, too.
I mean, the whole thing. It's just awful.
130
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:33,901
- Beer me.
- Bet your dad is taking this hard, talking about life
131
00:10:33,934 --> 00:10:36,303
just turning on a dime.
132
00:10:36,337 --> 00:10:38,973
Ole!
133
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:41,976
- How's he doing?
- Not good.
134
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:44,879
But, I mean,
135
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:48,249
I'm pretty sure he wants to stick
around long enough to watch me
136
00:10:48,282 --> 00:10:51,418
totally fail. So that's good.
137
00:10:54,355 --> 00:10:59,059
But, Timmy, my nephew.
No one to come home to for dinner.
138
00:10:59,093 --> 00:11:02,229
No one to say, "Hello, Tim."
139
00:11:02,263 --> 00:11:05,299
How was your day, dear?
140
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,067
When was last time you saw him?
141
00:11:07,101 --> 00:11:10,004
He was seven, eight...
142
00:11:10,037 --> 00:11:14,275
- He's 10 now.
- Who gets 'em?
143
00:11:14,308 --> 00:11:17,011
Ah, can't be my parents.
144
00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:19,747
Dad's too sick.
145
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:24,919
Mom couldn't handle pre-teen
hormones 25 years ago.
146
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:27,388
This right here is the
result of that.
147
00:11:27,421 --> 00:11:31,025
So that's gonna fall
on my shoulders, the kid.
148
00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:36,997
- Can you handle that?
- No. No.
149
00:11:37,031 --> 00:11:38,832
I don't like humans.
150
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:42,136
Much less ones under 18.
Now I gotta live with him.
151
00:11:42,169 --> 00:11:45,005
- But he's blood.
- To family, Max.
152
00:11:45,039 --> 00:11:48,442
He's blood.
And so I'll grind it out.
153
00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:53,214
- Max, the good uncle.
- The good Scotch.
154
00:11:53,247 --> 00:11:56,483
Have you ever had like
the worst day of your life?
155
00:11:56,518 --> 00:11:59,453
I guarantee you, it isn't
as bad as the one I'm having.
156
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:02,056
Me. I lost everything.
157
00:12:02,089 --> 00:12:04,458
- All at once.
- Hey, Tim.
158
00:12:06,260 --> 00:12:07,995
Your long-lost Uncle Max.
159
00:12:09,363 --> 00:12:12,132
Remember me? Famous magician.
160
00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:15,970
I got all those television
car commercials.
161
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:19,340
I sent you that autographed headshot
for your birthday last year.
162
00:12:19,373 --> 00:12:23,978
You remember that? Or was it...
Maybe it was two years ago.
163
00:12:24,011 --> 00:12:25,145
Uh...
164
00:12:26,548 --> 00:12:30,117
I guess we share
the same DNA, you know?
165
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:32,353
So I'm gonna be the one
that has to take care of you.
166
00:12:33,821 --> 00:12:35,756
Not really qualified to be
a parent.
167
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:40,894
Or a human being,
for that matter.
168
00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:43,864
I mean, I'm still trying to
figure out my own life.
169
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:45,766
You know, what do I want?
Who am I?
170
00:12:47,301 --> 00:12:51,438
Working in a soul-sucking
dead-end job?
171
00:12:51,472 --> 00:12:53,874
I mean, I'm paycheck
to paycheck.
172
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:56,277
Just scraping by.
No insurance.
173
00:12:58,078 --> 00:13:00,548
Oh, and my girlfriend just
broke up with me,
174
00:13:00,582 --> 00:13:02,783
after two and a half weeks.
You believe that?
175
00:13:05,052 --> 00:13:06,854
Said she'd rather date a clown.
176
00:13:08,623 --> 00:13:11,458
Hurts. It hurts, you know?
177
00:13:15,496 --> 00:13:19,266
Anyway, I feel a little
better now.
178
00:13:19,300 --> 00:13:23,103
Thanks for listening.
You feel better too?
179
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,243
I've seen your magic on TV.
180
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:31,045
Why can't you
bring back my parents?
181
00:13:35,182 --> 00:13:36,984
I'm sorry.
182
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:38,586
There's only one guy
who knows that trick.
183
00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,923
You can forget about me living
with you.
184
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:46,293
Tim. Oh... This is...
This is gonna really be great.
185
00:13:49,129 --> 00:13:50,297
Oh, honey.
186
00:13:50,331 --> 00:13:52,499
You say that I can't live in
my house
187
00:13:52,534 --> 00:13:55,035
because you have sell it to
the bank or whatever.
188
00:13:55,069 --> 00:13:57,639
So why can't I live with you?
189
00:13:57,672 --> 00:14:03,410
Oh, honey, your grandpa Lyle and I
would love to have you live with us.
190
00:14:03,444 --> 00:14:07,047
But he's not well now.
191
00:14:07,081 --> 00:14:09,517
Tim, Grandpa is going
to start on some medicine
192
00:14:09,551 --> 00:14:11,318
that's gonna make
him really sick.
193
00:14:11,352 --> 00:14:13,655
They can't do it.
194
00:14:13,688 --> 00:14:16,357
- Oh, I love you.
- I miss them.
195
00:14:21,663 --> 00:14:23,197
Now? Really?
196
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:31,905
- This is not gonna work.
- Leave it to your mommy.
197
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:34,942
She could talk the devil
into buying a Bible.
198
00:14:37,478 --> 00:14:42,550
Maybe you ought to give up this
cheap vaudeville stuff, huh?
199
00:14:42,584 --> 00:14:48,556
Get a real job, like your brother.
He had responsibility.
200
00:14:48,590 --> 00:14:50,658
Something you don't know
anything about.
201
00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:54,161
Oh...
202
00:15:07,441 --> 00:15:08,442
Hubba hubba.
203
00:15:10,678 --> 00:15:12,547
Too soon?
204
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,588
All right.
205
00:15:24,659 --> 00:15:26,126
What do you think?
206
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:29,363
I hate it.
207
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,298
I hate wearing
that stupid thing.
208
00:15:31,331 --> 00:15:33,434
Nope. No. No.
209
00:15:33,467 --> 00:15:38,038
Look, let's just give this
a try, all right?
210
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:39,707
Let me show you your room.
211
00:15:39,741 --> 00:15:44,011
Maybe you'll like it.
I doubt it, but maybe.
212
00:15:47,181 --> 00:15:48,716
Yep. Go down the hall.
213
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,486
Nope. Left.
214
00:15:59,293 --> 00:16:01,995
Huh? What do you think?
215
00:16:03,397 --> 00:16:06,433
I mean, I know
it's a little plain but,
216
00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:08,335
that could work out
to your advantage, right?
217
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:10,137
You can pick your
own curtains,
218
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:12,507
pick your own bedspread.
219
00:16:12,540 --> 00:16:14,576
Put posters up.
220
00:16:14,609 --> 00:16:17,110
I used to have one
right over my bed. Every night...
221
00:16:19,547 --> 00:16:21,749
We'll keep 'em PG-13, though.
Okay?
222
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:26,119
All right. I'm gonna
leave you to it.
223
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:29,423
Lights out at 10:00. Don't try to
climb out the bedroom window, okay?
224
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,258
My neighbor Vinnie has
a Rottweiler out there,
225
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,327
and he roams the streets.
226
00:16:36,798 --> 00:16:38,031
This is so hard.
227
00:16:39,834 --> 00:16:41,569
You lost your dad.
I lost my brother.
228
00:16:41,603 --> 00:16:43,337
And now we're
just sort of stuck together.
229
00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:48,108
I gotta be honest.
I don't know what to do.
230
00:16:50,578 --> 00:16:52,680
What would your dad do
in a situation like this?
231
00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:58,318
He'd give me a hug and say
everything would be all right.
232
00:17:02,222 --> 00:17:08,095
Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.
Let's do that. Come here.
233
00:17:08,128 --> 00:17:12,800
Bring it in.
There you go, Timmy.
234
00:17:12,834 --> 00:17:17,371
Just let those tears fly.
Everything's gonna be...
235
00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:22,242
Okay. Good night.
236
00:18:34,949 --> 00:18:37,184
Tim, I got some break...
237
00:18:48,930 --> 00:18:52,567
Teach that kid a learnin'.
238
00:18:54,267 --> 00:18:57,805
Figure out there's one
boss in this house.
239
00:18:59,874 --> 00:19:02,142
We'll see when Max attacks, man.
240
00:19:05,947 --> 00:19:07,481
Well played.
241
00:19:13,588 --> 00:19:14,756
I don't care.
242
00:19:33,641 --> 00:19:39,580
You don't get it in the first 50 takes
this time, I'm dubbing your voice.
243
00:19:39,614 --> 00:19:41,683
Did you know you had a gift
for encouragement?
244
00:19:43,584 --> 00:19:46,554
- How's your, um...
- Nephew?
245
00:19:46,587 --> 00:19:49,322
He's fine. Come on,
you've seen me with the kids.
246
00:19:49,356 --> 00:19:52,259
- They love me.
- Right.
247
00:19:52,292 --> 00:19:58,432
Isn't it illegal to leave a 10-year-old
kid alone by himself all day?
248
00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:02,737
I tied him to a chair until my next
door neighbor could come watch him.
249
00:20:02,770 --> 00:20:06,339
- How are the hemorrhoids?
- Quiet on the set.
250
00:20:08,810 --> 00:20:09,877
Are we ready?
251
00:20:10,878 --> 00:20:11,913
Roll it.
252
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:20,588
Here at Magic Motors,
we make high prices disappear.
253
00:20:20,621 --> 00:20:22,255
Cut. Cut.
254
00:21:06,934 --> 00:21:09,771
Tim, I got you a burger, man.
Come get it.
255
00:21:14,942 --> 00:21:16,043
Dinner of champions, buddy.
256
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:23,885
Uh-oh, how'd that happen?
257
00:21:23,918 --> 00:21:25,853
I guess we'll just have
to eat together, huh?
258
00:21:35,062 --> 00:21:38,833
Or not. Oh, cool.
259
00:21:46,841 --> 00:21:49,110
That kid is smart.
260
00:22:16,436 --> 00:22:18,471
You see anything you like?
261
00:22:18,506 --> 00:22:20,808
Some of these cars
are antiques.
262
00:22:22,109 --> 00:22:24,579
Well, that's a kinder way
of putting it.
263
00:22:24,612 --> 00:22:27,648
I'd like to buy
something from this century.
264
00:22:27,682 --> 00:22:31,719
Well, you know, they knock off
10 bucks for every dent you find.
265
00:22:31,752 --> 00:22:34,856
Oops.
266
00:22:36,891 --> 00:22:40,561
Do all of the salesmen
wear magician outfits?
267
00:22:42,429 --> 00:22:43,998
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
268
00:22:44,031 --> 00:22:45,933
I'm not a salesman.
269
00:22:45,967 --> 00:22:48,135
I'm actually the
headliner here.
270
00:22:48,169 --> 00:22:52,673
Yeah, you know, the guy who does all
the charming television commercials,
271
00:22:52,707 --> 00:22:54,876
who everyone comes to see.
272
00:22:54,909 --> 00:22:59,479
But I'm really just biding my time
for the love of the kids. I love kids,
273
00:22:59,513 --> 00:23:02,717
and, uh, yeah,
cracking the code.
274
00:23:02,750 --> 00:23:05,152
Oh, and what code is that?
275
00:23:05,186 --> 00:23:07,822
The ultimate magic trick code.
276
00:23:07,855 --> 00:23:13,027
Think about it. Did anyone know David Copperfield
before he made the Statue of Liberty disappear?
277
00:23:13,060 --> 00:23:16,831
Before he levitated over the
Grand Canyon?
278
00:23:16,864 --> 00:23:19,567
Yeah, I think he was
pretty famous before that.
279
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:23,204
Exactly. You know, I...
280
00:23:23,237 --> 00:23:25,573
I've been thinking
about a new trick.
281
00:23:27,508 --> 00:23:29,143
I could use a new,
lovely assistant.
282
00:23:30,645 --> 00:23:32,479
Now, that sounds like a line.
283
00:23:33,581 --> 00:23:36,183
Did it work?
284
00:23:36,217 --> 00:23:39,086
I have a job, but
thanks for the offer.
285
00:23:39,120 --> 00:23:40,755
We're ready for you,
Max.
286
00:23:40,788 --> 00:23:43,958
Oh, oh, oh.
They need me... the talent.
287
00:23:43,991 --> 00:23:48,529
Probably another close up.
Very little makeup, by the way.
288
00:23:48,562 --> 00:23:50,698
Anyway, you keep...
You keep trucking.
289
00:23:50,731 --> 00:23:52,033
Yeah, thank you.
290
00:23:52,066 --> 00:23:54,635
That's Frank "the Tank"
from Old School.
291
00:23:54,669 --> 00:23:56,971
- Yeah, ciao.
- Bye.
292
00:24:00,908 --> 00:24:04,145
See, you don't have
to do my dishes.
293
00:24:04,178 --> 00:24:06,446
- It's my pleasure, Max.
- Thank you.
294
00:24:08,182 --> 00:24:10,851
- How's Tim?
- Oh, he's fine.
295
00:24:10,885 --> 00:24:12,987
Mmm. He's a nice young man.
296
00:24:13,020 --> 00:24:15,589
- Yeah.
- Very quiet. But,
297
00:24:15,623 --> 00:24:18,659
then that's to be expected,
considering.
298
00:24:18,693 --> 00:24:21,762
Yeah, considering he was downgraded
to "Little Orphan" Timmy.
299
00:24:21,796 --> 00:24:24,899
I remember him as a loud voice
with a body.
300
00:24:24,932 --> 00:24:27,635
Now he's like
a closed clam in concrete.
301
00:24:27,668 --> 00:24:30,504
Give him time.
He's grieving, Max.
302
00:24:32,239 --> 00:24:35,176
Well, bills.
303
00:24:35,209 --> 00:24:38,846
I found out that his dad left me
$33,000 in his will,
304
00:24:38,879 --> 00:24:40,147
and he left the kids
some money in a trust.
305
00:24:40,181 --> 00:24:43,651
So it's not all bad news.
This is. Bill.
306
00:24:43,684 --> 00:24:46,120
- That was generous.
- Yeah. Yeah.
307
00:24:46,153 --> 00:24:48,956
I figure it...
It buys a little happiness.
308
00:24:48,990 --> 00:24:52,760
Max, you can't buy happiness.
Don't you know that?
309
00:24:52,793 --> 00:24:55,629
Yeah, I got the bad credit.
310
00:24:55,663 --> 00:24:57,832
Maybe I can lease it, right?
311
00:25:01,936 --> 00:25:03,104
What is this?
312
00:25:05,606 --> 00:25:09,310
Nice try, kid. You forget that
I'm a magician?
313
00:25:09,343 --> 00:25:12,113
I can spot a fake spider
miles away.
314
00:25:13,647 --> 00:25:17,852
Oh, fishing line.
That's pretty good.
315
00:25:22,223 --> 00:25:24,225
No.
316
00:25:26,694 --> 00:25:29,930
Get off me. Get off me.
Spiders, spiders, spiders.
317
00:25:33,067 --> 00:25:35,536
What's for breakfast?
318
00:25:36,704 --> 00:25:37,872
Cookies.
319
00:25:39,106 --> 00:25:40,274
Cookies.
320
00:25:47,681 --> 00:25:49,784
Lame trick.
321
00:25:49,817 --> 00:25:52,086
Cookies are not
a nutritious meal.
322
00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:55,089
Yeah, they are.
They really, really are.
323
00:25:55,122 --> 00:25:58,859
You crumble them up. You put 'em in a bowl.
You put a little milk in it.
324
00:25:58,893 --> 00:26:02,196
All right, we don't have milk.
Look at the bowl.
325
00:26:04,131 --> 00:26:06,033
I mean, that's what cereal is.
326
00:26:06,067 --> 00:26:07,768
It's... It's... cookies.
327
00:26:07,802 --> 00:26:10,304
What 10-year-old doesn't like
cookies for breakfast?
328
00:26:10,337 --> 00:26:12,673
One that wants to see 11.
329
00:26:15,676 --> 00:26:18,913
Mrs. C is gonna be here soon,
try not to kill her.
330
00:26:18,946 --> 00:26:20,648
Can we get a dog?
331
00:26:20,681 --> 00:26:22,917
It's supposed to
help with grief.
332
00:26:22,950 --> 00:26:26,921
Nice try. I'm still trying to
get the whole kid thing down.
333
00:26:26,954 --> 00:26:30,091
I mean, I gotta figure out.
Do you eat too much?
334
00:26:30,124 --> 00:26:34,061
- If you need shots.
- If I'm potty trained?
335
00:26:36,730 --> 00:26:38,032
- Are you?
- Yes. I know
336
00:26:38,065 --> 00:26:39,400
how to pee in a toilet.
337
00:26:39,433 --> 00:26:41,669
Look, can we just try to
get through this week?
338
00:26:41,702 --> 00:26:44,105
Then we can talk about adoption.
All right?
339
00:26:44,138 --> 00:26:45,806
Pet or person?
340
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,342
Because I have no interest
in a sibling.
341
00:26:48,375 --> 00:26:50,811
- Especially a sister...
- Tim.
342
00:26:52,046 --> 00:26:53,981
- How tall are you?
- Why?
343
00:26:54,014 --> 00:26:56,417
What do you think about a magician
that can cut a kid in half.
344
00:26:56,450 --> 00:26:57,985
An illusion.
345
00:26:59,420 --> 00:27:02,389
Yeah, sure. An illusion. Okay.
346
00:27:02,423 --> 00:27:04,625
I think it's been done.
347
00:27:06,093 --> 00:27:08,162
You're right.
348
00:27:08,195 --> 00:27:10,397
Why don't you get
a good cavity started, huh?
349
00:27:10,431 --> 00:27:12,833
Try not to break anything.
350
00:27:12,867 --> 00:27:14,902
I'll be home after work.
351
00:27:17,805 --> 00:27:20,007
And here are the keys
to your new car.
352
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:21,742
- Thank you.
- Now, when it breaks down...
353
00:27:21,775 --> 00:27:24,778
If it breaks down,
be sure to call us.
354
00:27:24,812 --> 00:27:26,780
- Will do.
- Enjoy.
355
00:27:26,814 --> 00:27:30,951
Oh, hello. Oh, you
bought one of our cars.
356
00:27:30,985 --> 00:27:32,887
Got a decent deal.
357
00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:34,822
Really?
358
00:27:34,855 --> 00:27:37,458
Well, you will be happy to know
that part of our policy here
359
00:27:37,491 --> 00:27:41,896
at Magic Motors is for
the charming magician...
360
00:27:41,929 --> 00:27:44,698
to provide lunch to all
of our new buyers.
361
00:27:44,732 --> 00:27:46,767
Except I don't do it
for everyone.
362
00:27:48,035 --> 00:27:51,872
- Uh, well, thanks anyway.
- Oh, oh, oh.
363
00:27:51,906 --> 00:27:54,441
I think I see
what's happening here.
364
00:27:54,475 --> 00:28:00,214
I think the life of a magician must
seem unattainable to the lay person.
365
00:28:00,247 --> 00:28:03,918
Glamorous, uh, well,
magical.
366
00:28:03,951 --> 00:28:07,721
But I assure you,
underneath this cape,
367
00:28:07,755 --> 00:28:09,924
I'm really just
a regular guy.
368
00:28:09,957 --> 00:28:12,326
- I'm sure you are.
- Yup.
369
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:15,863
And I am really only in the
market for a car right now.
370
00:28:15,896 --> 00:28:19,033
I mean, do I have plenty
of other interests?
371
00:28:20,901 --> 00:28:25,439
Sure. Many goals and, well,
long-range plans.
372
00:28:25,472 --> 00:28:28,142
Like what?
373
00:28:28,175 --> 00:28:32,279
Like I said, there are so many.
How could I name just one.
374
00:28:35,482 --> 00:28:40,221
Surviving my nephew. Excuse me.
375
00:28:43,157 --> 00:28:44,959
- World peace.
- Really?
376
00:28:44,992 --> 00:28:46,727
- Yeah.
- Me, too.
377
00:28:49,897 --> 00:28:55,002
Well, congratulations on your new
car and I will see you for lunch.
378
00:28:55,035 --> 00:28:59,773
Impressive. I think the depth of
your character blew her mind.
379
00:28:59,807 --> 00:29:01,275
Shouldn't you be working?
380
00:29:01,308 --> 00:29:04,378
- I'm reading the paper.
- Really?
381
00:29:04,411 --> 00:29:06,413
When did you become
interested in world events?
382
00:29:06,447 --> 00:29:10,818
I'm not. I'm just checking the
obits, hoping to find your name,
383
00:29:15,122 --> 00:29:17,491
World peace?
384
00:29:17,525 --> 00:29:20,160
I couldn't think of a single
thing that I'm passionate about.
385
00:29:20,194 --> 00:29:22,162
Oh, come on.
386
00:29:22,196 --> 00:29:24,064
Have you ever seen anyone
choked to death?
387
00:29:24,098 --> 00:29:26,133
Like really choked to death,
even in the movies?
388
00:29:26,166 --> 00:29:28,869
Because that's what it was like.
389
00:29:28,902 --> 00:29:31,071
So how's Tim?
390
00:29:31,105 --> 00:29:33,274
Makes Godzilla look
like a gecko.
391
00:29:33,307 --> 00:29:34,808
That bad?
392
00:29:34,842 --> 00:29:36,977
I think he's trying to
force my hand.
393
00:29:37,011 --> 00:29:39,246
I mean, he doesn't wanna
live with me. Who does?
394
00:29:39,280 --> 00:29:41,382
He probably
just feels alone.
395
00:29:41,415 --> 00:29:45,019
Amelia Earhart was alone.
Charles Lindbergh was alone.
396
00:29:45,052 --> 00:29:48,389
Those people that got stuck at the
top of Mount Olympus, they were alone.
397
00:29:48,422 --> 00:29:51,325
- It's Everest.
- Exactly.
398
00:29:51,358 --> 00:29:54,461
I'm getting hit in the face
by this parenthood like a brick.
399
00:29:54,495 --> 00:29:58,533
And I'm picking adolescent
shrapnel out of my body.
400
00:29:58,566 --> 00:30:01,435
Look, I'm gonna give him the
get-to-hate-me grace period,
401
00:30:01,468 --> 00:30:04,104
like I give everyone else
and, uh...
402
00:30:05,439 --> 00:30:07,308
I don't know,
throw some chores at him.
403
00:30:08,976 --> 00:30:10,244
What's chores?
404
00:30:10,277 --> 00:30:12,379
The ones I don't wanna do.
405
00:30:28,929 --> 00:30:30,264
- Hi.
- First time here?
406
00:30:30,297 --> 00:30:32,199
Yeah, I just moved in
across the street.
407
00:30:32,232 --> 00:30:33,901
- Welcome to the town.
- Thank you.
408
00:30:33,934 --> 00:30:35,269
What can I get you?
409
00:30:35,302 --> 00:30:38,372
Um, can I get two scoops of
chocolate please?
410
00:30:38,405 --> 00:30:40,107
You got it.
411
00:30:41,241 --> 00:30:42,376
Is chocolate your favorite?
412
00:30:42,409 --> 00:30:45,045
Yeah. I like the
original flavors.
413
00:30:45,079 --> 00:30:47,948
I was gonna get vanilla
but I decided chocolate, so.
414
00:30:47,981 --> 00:30:49,283
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
415
00:30:53,921 --> 00:30:56,390
Oh, are you okay?
416
00:30:59,326 --> 00:31:01,862
- Here.
- Thanks.
417
00:31:02,963 --> 00:31:04,431
Can I buy
you another one?
418
00:31:04,465 --> 00:31:08,302
No, I think one of the scoops
got down my throat.
419
00:31:08,335 --> 00:31:12,039
I'm Brandi. You live at those
places near my house, right?
420
00:31:12,072 --> 00:31:14,174
Yeah. Tim.
I'd shake your hand,
421
00:31:14,208 --> 00:31:16,276
but you'd probably get
sticky handlebars.
422
00:31:16,310 --> 00:31:18,946
Thanks. I've got to go.
423
00:31:18,979 --> 00:31:21,081
But maybe I'll see you around.
424
00:31:21,115 --> 00:31:23,951
- Okay, cool.
- Bye.
425
00:31:41,402 --> 00:31:43,203
- Hello.
- What?
426
00:31:50,745 --> 00:31:56,350
I want to call a truce.
Okay, I surrender. Whatever it takes.
427
00:31:56,383 --> 00:32:01,021
You clearly have a future in espionage.
428
00:32:01,054 --> 00:32:03,223
You know, Tim, when I thought
about having a kid,
429
00:32:03,257 --> 00:32:05,325
I thought it would be a
baby crib and nursery rhymes,
430
00:32:05,359 --> 00:32:08,328
and I got an adult.
431
00:32:11,064 --> 00:32:12,567
I want you to have that.
432
00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:14,468
That's my very first magic hat.
433
00:32:14,501 --> 00:32:18,138
Be careful with that.
Actually lost my virginity...
434
00:32:21,108 --> 00:32:25,713
Tim, when a man
loves another...
435
00:32:25,747 --> 00:32:27,715
Okay, I know what
virginity is.
436
00:32:27,749 --> 00:32:30,217
- You do. Good.
- Sure, okay.
437
00:32:30,250 --> 00:32:31,586
Okay.
438
00:32:34,455 --> 00:32:37,391
- You like being a magician?
- I love it.
439
00:32:37,424 --> 00:32:39,193
You know I like
the best, though.
440
00:32:39,226 --> 00:32:41,361
The idea that I could maybe make
somebody's day
441
00:32:41,395 --> 00:32:43,565
a little less miserable
than mine.
442
00:32:43,598 --> 00:32:46,400
Not too difficult to do it,
I might add.
443
00:32:46,433 --> 00:32:48,068
I could teach you some
if you want.
444
00:32:48,101 --> 00:32:50,137
What are you going to
teach me first?
445
00:32:50,170 --> 00:32:52,640
How to put a snake
in a cookie jar?
446
00:32:52,674 --> 00:32:55,309
You know, Tim,
magic's a mindset.
447
00:32:55,342 --> 00:32:57,545
You start small
and you build it up,
448
00:32:57,579 --> 00:33:00,314
and then you're catching bullets
with your teeth.
449
00:33:00,347 --> 00:33:02,282
I'll teach you
everything I know.
450
00:33:02,316 --> 00:33:03,518
Except...
451
00:33:03,551 --> 00:33:06,220
my big signature trick.
452
00:33:06,253 --> 00:33:07,421
Why not that one?
453
00:33:07,454 --> 00:33:09,289
Tim, it's dangerous,
454
00:33:09,323 --> 00:33:10,558
even death-defying.
455
00:33:11,458 --> 00:33:13,193
Plus, if I told you,
456
00:33:13,227 --> 00:33:15,162
I would have to kill you.
457
00:33:15,195 --> 00:33:16,396
Not if I killed you first.
458
00:33:16,430 --> 00:33:19,066
You can't
'cause I'd disappear. Poof!
459
00:33:21,168 --> 00:33:23,437
My dad used to teach me stuff.
460
00:33:23,470 --> 00:33:24,506
I wish he was here.
461
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:27,040
I do, too. I miss him.
462
00:33:29,476 --> 00:33:31,478
Anyway, tomorrow,
463
00:33:31,513 --> 00:33:32,814
we get magical.
464
00:33:32,847 --> 00:33:35,048
Give me it up high.
Down low.
465
00:33:35,082 --> 00:33:36,350
Too slow.
466
00:33:36,383 --> 00:33:38,820
Ooh, I'm out.
I'm safe though, right?
467
00:33:38,853 --> 00:33:40,320
- Sure.
- You sure?
468
00:33:40,354 --> 00:33:41,656
Yeah. You're good.
469
00:33:41,689 --> 00:33:43,056
- I hope so.
- Watch out for the spiders!
470
00:33:43,090 --> 00:33:45,225
- Oh!
- Nah, I'm kidding.
471
00:34:01,709 --> 00:34:03,210
Cups.
472
00:34:03,243 --> 00:34:04,244
Put the ball in...
473
00:34:17,157 --> 00:34:18,158
- Woah!
- Voila!
474
00:34:22,764 --> 00:34:24,498
I did it!
475
00:34:29,737 --> 00:34:30,738
Cool.
476
00:34:49,222 --> 00:34:50,257
Hey!
477
00:34:51,191 --> 00:34:52,492
Getting some ice cream?
478
00:34:52,527 --> 00:34:53,861
Not today.
479
00:34:53,895 --> 00:34:55,462
Sunflower seeds are safer.
480
00:34:55,495 --> 00:34:57,832
Probably not as sticky either.
481
00:34:57,865 --> 00:34:59,099
- Want some?
- Sure.
482
00:35:02,537 --> 00:35:03,871
Clifford?
483
00:35:05,740 --> 00:35:06,774
Yeah.
484
00:35:09,343 --> 00:35:10,410
Ew.
485
00:35:10,444 --> 00:35:11,846
So where do you live?
486
00:35:11,879 --> 00:35:12,880
Right down the street.
487
00:35:15,449 --> 00:35:17,284
I'm staying with my uncle.
488
00:35:17,317 --> 00:35:18,385
Parents on vacation?
489
00:35:19,486 --> 00:35:20,722
No,
490
00:35:20,755 --> 00:35:21,789
they died.
491
00:35:24,291 --> 00:35:25,593
My daddy died in the war.
492
00:35:32,533 --> 00:35:33,935
Ew.
493
00:35:33,968 --> 00:35:35,870
You're not supposed
to eat the shell.
494
00:35:35,903 --> 00:35:37,337
Why?
495
00:35:37,371 --> 00:35:39,172
So you have to crack the shell,
496
00:35:39,206 --> 00:35:40,842
and then you spit out the shell,
497
00:35:40,875 --> 00:35:42,610
and then you eat
the stuff inside.
498
00:35:42,644 --> 00:35:43,678
That's gross.
499
00:35:43,711 --> 00:35:44,712
No, try it.
500
00:35:46,313 --> 00:35:48,181
Okay, here goes.
501
00:35:53,521 --> 00:35:54,722
It takes some practice.
502
00:35:54,756 --> 00:35:57,190
Got a whole bag. Keep trying.
503
00:35:57,224 --> 00:35:59,627
My mom would love
seeing me do this.
504
00:35:59,661 --> 00:36:00,862
You wanna see a magic trick?
505
00:36:01,696 --> 00:36:02,697
Sure.
506
00:36:08,903 --> 00:36:11,506
- Red and blue, right?
- Uh-huh.
507
00:36:11,539 --> 00:36:14,742
Now, it's yellow and green.
508
00:36:14,776 --> 00:36:15,777
Whoa.
509
00:36:16,811 --> 00:36:18,680
- Wanna try?
- Sure.
510
00:36:18,713 --> 00:36:19,947
Nope.
511
00:36:19,981 --> 00:36:22,215
A magician
never reveals his secrets.
512
00:36:26,854 --> 00:36:28,288
This is so cute.
513
00:36:28,321 --> 00:36:30,892
I'd like to buy it.
How much is it?
514
00:36:30,925 --> 00:36:32,292
$5.
515
00:36:38,533 --> 00:36:40,200
I think this is five.
516
00:36:42,570 --> 00:36:45,305
One, two,
three, it's five.
517
00:36:45,338 --> 00:36:46,473
Well, thank you so much.
518
00:36:46,507 --> 00:36:47,842
You're welcome. Enjoy Bonita.
519
00:36:47,875 --> 00:36:49,409
Thank you. I will.
520
00:36:51,612 --> 00:36:52,847
Hello.
521
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:54,247
Hello.
522
00:36:54,281 --> 00:36:56,584
- Just that.
- You look familiar.
523
00:36:57,985 --> 00:36:59,654
Wait a minute. You do, too.
524
00:36:59,687 --> 00:37:01,589
You bought one of our
freshly-impounded used cars.
525
00:37:02,824 --> 00:37:04,357
Jen-ni-fer.
526
00:37:04,391 --> 00:37:06,561
Oh, that's such a...
That's a beautiful name.
527
00:37:07,628 --> 00:37:08,863
And you're that, uh,
528
00:37:08,896 --> 00:37:10,631
Merlin, the magician guy.
529
00:37:10,665 --> 00:37:12,934
Max "the Magical."
530
00:37:12,967 --> 00:37:15,603
At your service, my lady.
It's catchy, isn't it?
531
00:37:15,636 --> 00:37:17,337
Merlin is the guy
with the beard.
532
00:37:17,370 --> 00:37:18,806
Old guy, not like me.
533
00:37:18,840 --> 00:37:20,675
And he helps the kid
with the sword.
534
00:37:20,708 --> 00:37:21,776
It's a good movie.
535
00:37:21,809 --> 00:37:25,345
So where is your magic outfit?
536
00:37:25,378 --> 00:37:26,881
It's at the cleaners.
537
00:37:26,914 --> 00:37:29,316
It's tough getting all
that fairy dust off, you know.
538
00:37:29,349 --> 00:37:30,785
Plus, a little baby
throw-up, too.
539
00:37:30,818 --> 00:37:32,754
Listen, I know this timing
is maybe a little weird...
540
00:37:32,787 --> 00:37:33,788
$49.95.
541
00:37:36,557 --> 00:37:38,726
You know what?
I actually have this.
542
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:40,393
That's embarrassing.
543
00:37:40,427 --> 00:37:44,331
Um, I will just get
this beautiful little heart.
544
00:37:45,700 --> 00:37:47,001
$10. Cash or credit?
545
00:37:48,569 --> 00:37:50,037
I love the way you say that.
546
00:37:50,071 --> 00:37:51,506
"Cash or credit."
547
00:37:53,074 --> 00:37:55,977
Cash, 'cause I have
plenty of cash.
548
00:37:56,010 --> 00:37:57,745
Cash has not been
a problem for me,
549
00:37:57,779 --> 00:37:59,514
if you know what I mean.
550
00:37:59,547 --> 00:38:01,682
Do you wanna buy Park Place
or Boardwalk?
551
00:38:03,885 --> 00:38:06,954
Remnants from a series
of pranks with my nephew.
552
00:38:06,988 --> 00:38:08,556
We called a truce.
553
00:38:08,589 --> 00:38:10,658
Actually, I surrendered.
554
00:38:10,691 --> 00:38:12,593
Um, it's a long story.
555
00:38:13,861 --> 00:38:15,696
We all have stories, don't we?
556
00:38:16,764 --> 00:38:17,999
$10 for the heart.
557
00:38:21,736 --> 00:38:22,970
Ten and one.
558
00:38:23,771 --> 00:38:25,606
That's for you.
559
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:26,741
Here's your heart.
560
00:38:28,643 --> 00:38:29,677
Thank you.
561
00:38:30,945 --> 00:38:31,979
I'll go.
562
00:38:37,552 --> 00:38:38,786
Bye...
563
00:38:46,727 --> 00:38:48,896
That's four times
through the line in a half hour.
564
00:38:48,930 --> 00:38:50,832
I know. I love it.
565
00:38:50,865 --> 00:38:52,700
I think it's my new hobby.
566
00:38:52,733 --> 00:38:54,869
Your quest
will be fruitless, you know.
567
00:38:55,503 --> 00:38:56,537
Mmm.
568
00:38:56,571 --> 00:38:57,972
I believe in Cinderella stories.
569
00:38:58,005 --> 00:38:59,607
I believe in tragedies.
570
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:00,975
Hmm.
571
00:39:01,008 --> 00:39:02,610
That's really funny.
572
00:39:03,511 --> 00:39:04,846
$3.50.
573
00:39:04,879 --> 00:39:07,515
Oh, yeah. You know what?
574
00:39:07,548 --> 00:39:10,084
I know how stores
always need change.
575
00:39:10,117 --> 00:39:11,752
It's funny
they never have change.
576
00:39:13,888 --> 00:39:15,590
So that's why
I'm paying in change,
577
00:39:15,623 --> 00:39:17,925
not because I don't have
money or anything like that.
578
00:39:17,959 --> 00:39:20,528
But I brought you some...
Some quarters.
579
00:39:20,561 --> 00:39:21,963
Quarters are important.
580
00:39:21,996 --> 00:39:24,065
One, two...
581
00:39:24,098 --> 00:39:26,767
Three... Let me take you
away from this.
582
00:39:26,801 --> 00:39:28,669
You know what?
That's good enough.
583
00:39:28,703 --> 00:39:29,837
Just take the bird.
584
00:39:32,640 --> 00:39:35,643
Thank you, from me, too.
585
00:39:35,676 --> 00:39:36,944
You should see me in my cape.
586
00:39:38,145 --> 00:39:39,547
I did.
587
00:40:15,750 --> 00:40:17,184
- Oh, sorry.
- You scared the hell out of me.
588
00:40:17,218 --> 00:40:19,587
I'm sorry. Sorry.
I hurt my whole leg.
589
00:40:19,620 --> 00:40:22,023
Oh, hi. How are you?
590
00:40:22,056 --> 00:40:24,191
Funny meeting you here.
591
00:40:24,225 --> 00:40:26,861
Okay, look,
you seem like a nice guy.
592
00:40:26,894 --> 00:40:28,629
Thanks. I am. I'm really nice.
593
00:40:28,663 --> 00:40:30,998
Okay. I just got into town.
I've got responsibilities.
594
00:40:31,032 --> 00:40:33,868
Meeting a man at this point
is not a priority.
595
00:40:33,901 --> 00:40:37,004
Oh, well, how far down the list
do you think it is?
596
00:40:37,038 --> 00:40:38,739
It's about where your shoes are.
597
00:40:41,575 --> 00:40:44,512
- So you're saying there's a chance?
- Okay, I'm just keeping it real.
598
00:40:44,545 --> 00:40:45,980
- That's from Dumb and Dumber.
- I know.
599
00:40:46,013 --> 00:40:48,849
You do?
See, we have this in common.
600
00:40:48,883 --> 00:40:51,585
Um, okay. You know what?
You know what?
601
00:40:51,619 --> 00:40:53,187
Catch me
on one of my TV commercials.
602
00:40:53,220 --> 00:40:55,156
Aren't your TV commercials
late at night?
603
00:40:56,190 --> 00:40:57,825
Yeah.
604
00:40:57,858 --> 00:41:00,561
Technically,
the next morning. So?
605
00:41:00,594 --> 00:41:02,229
You hurt my feelings.
606
00:41:04,031 --> 00:41:05,733
I will look for it.
607
00:41:05,766 --> 00:41:07,969
I'm gonna send you
a secret signal,
608
00:41:08,002 --> 00:41:10,171
Monopoly money.
I'm gonna wave it out.
609
00:41:10,204 --> 00:41:11,772
I'm just gonna walk around you.
610
00:41:11,806 --> 00:41:13,908
- This is our thing anyway right?
- Yep.
611
00:41:13,941 --> 00:41:17,545
Oh, that was... That was magic.
612
00:41:25,953 --> 00:41:29,824
Max. Did Tim tell you
about his new friend?
613
00:41:29,857 --> 00:41:31,258
No. Big deal, Mrs. C.
614
00:41:32,126 --> 00:41:33,995
It's a girl.
615
00:41:35,963 --> 00:41:38,532
Facts of life
are in play already, huh?
616
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:42,036
All right, come on. Let's go.
617
00:41:43,304 --> 00:41:45,639
Little man talk, Mrs. C.
Let's go.
618
00:41:45,673 --> 00:41:46,941
Okay. I got it.
619
00:41:53,981 --> 00:41:55,649
This is gonna be awkward. Okay?
620
00:41:56,751 --> 00:41:57,918
Hit me.
621
00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:02,957
- What's your secret?
- Secret?
622
00:42:02,990 --> 00:42:05,192
With the babes, man.
623
00:42:05,226 --> 00:42:07,328
You're getting everywhere.
I'm getting nowhere.
624
00:42:07,361 --> 00:42:09,563
There is no secret.
625
00:42:09,597 --> 00:42:12,166
I just let it happen naturally.
626
00:42:12,199 --> 00:42:15,336
Okay, I see
what's happening here.
627
00:42:15,369 --> 00:42:18,139
You want to see old Uncle Max
burn up on reentry.
628
00:42:19,940 --> 00:42:21,642
You know what?
629
00:42:21,675 --> 00:42:23,944
I'll tell you my secret
630
00:42:23,978 --> 00:42:27,715
if you tell me your big trick.
631
00:42:27,748 --> 00:42:29,884
A magician never reveals
his tricks.
632
00:42:31,252 --> 00:42:33,254
Okay, good luck with the babes.
633
00:42:37,291 --> 00:42:40,294
Hmm. Good talk?
634
00:42:40,327 --> 00:42:42,263
He still has a lot to learn.
635
00:42:54,375 --> 00:42:57,378
I've sent a few items
gathered from your past.
636
00:42:57,411 --> 00:42:58,846
I knew I never gave you
637
00:42:58,879 --> 00:43:01,315
all the father-son talks
you deserve.
638
00:43:01,348 --> 00:43:04,652
I was never a hug
and kissy type of father.
639
00:43:04,685 --> 00:43:08,055
You had many more coming
than I ever gave you.
640
00:43:08,089 --> 00:43:12,093
You never let me down.
You always tried your hardest.
641
00:43:12,126 --> 00:43:14,895
And when we argued,
you were mostly right.
642
00:43:14,929 --> 00:43:17,865
But I couldn't bend
in my thinking.
643
00:43:17,898 --> 00:43:19,700
Life is so short, as they say,
644
00:43:19,733 --> 00:43:24,038
so make your years with Tim
heartfelt and full of joy.
645
00:43:24,071 --> 00:43:27,141
Always here for you. Love, Dad.
646
00:43:27,174 --> 00:43:28,175
What's that?
647
00:43:29,877 --> 00:43:32,980
My, uh, my dad sent this.
648
00:43:33,013 --> 00:43:34,782
It's all stuff
from when I was a kid.
649
00:43:44,291 --> 00:43:46,894
Broke my nose trying to catch
my first grounder.
650
00:43:49,096 --> 00:43:51,031
Nice catch. Oh...
651
00:43:51,765 --> 00:43:53,701
Here.
652
00:43:53,734 --> 00:43:56,303
Your first hand-me-down.
653
00:43:56,337 --> 00:43:58,973
Be careful with that thing.
You could poke an eye out.
654
00:44:00,307 --> 00:44:02,243
Or mine.
655
00:44:02,276 --> 00:44:05,212
Maybe I should use it
on this boy named Clifford.
656
00:44:07,481 --> 00:44:08,916
He's got it out for me.
657
00:44:11,719 --> 00:44:13,754
I noticed the scratches
once in a while.
658
00:44:13,787 --> 00:44:14,788
Clifford? Huh?
659
00:44:16,190 --> 00:44:18,159
- Cliff-ford?
- Mmm-hmm.
660
00:44:18,192 --> 00:44:19,827
Clifford.
661
00:44:19,860 --> 00:44:22,096
I'd be a bully
if my name was Cli-fford.
662
00:44:23,831 --> 00:44:25,399
So what's his racket?
663
00:44:25,432 --> 00:44:28,269
- Takes lunch money, huh?
- Oh, yeah.
664
00:44:28,302 --> 00:44:31,305
That and he makes people
pay for protection...
665
00:44:31,338 --> 00:44:32,840
from himself.
666
00:44:32,873 --> 00:44:36,010
He calls it life insurance.
667
00:44:36,043 --> 00:44:39,079
Word is, he has 500 bucks
in his backpack.
668
00:44:39,113 --> 00:44:42,816
- What?
- I say it's like closer to 150.
669
00:44:45,219 --> 00:44:47,354
Not too sure
what I'm supposed to say here.
670
00:44:47,388 --> 00:44:49,190
I think I should say,
671
00:44:49,223 --> 00:44:52,126
"Don't ever take that slingshot
to school for any reason."
672
00:44:53,460 --> 00:44:56,063
- Hmm?
- Okay.
673
00:44:56,096 --> 00:44:59,233
You gotta settle it
with your fists. Capisce?
674
00:44:59,266 --> 00:45:01,068
- Really?
- You give him a one-way ticket
675
00:45:01,101 --> 00:45:04,071
to knuckle airlines,
uppercut. Uppercut.
676
00:45:04,104 --> 00:45:06,774
- Seriously?
- Let me see what you got.
677
00:45:06,807 --> 00:45:09,210
Yeah, that's it. You kick butt.
678
00:45:09,243 --> 00:45:12,514
- Name names.
- Yeah, yeah.
679
00:45:12,547 --> 00:45:14,516
Yeah. That hurts, okay.
680
00:45:14,549 --> 00:45:16,417
You walk away.
681
00:45:16,450 --> 00:45:18,986
You know,
bullies are just bullies
682
00:45:19,019 --> 00:45:20,821
because they're scared.
683
00:45:20,854 --> 00:45:24,325
They don't want anyone to know
so they put on this big act.
684
00:45:24,358 --> 00:45:28,195
You stand up to him,
you got no problems.
685
00:45:28,229 --> 00:45:29,897
I never thought about it
that way.
686
00:45:31,533 --> 00:45:34,935
Well, this time, you should.
687
00:45:40,407 --> 00:45:41,909
I can't hit a thing.
688
00:45:41,942 --> 00:45:44,111
- Can I try?
- Sure.
689
00:45:44,144 --> 00:45:45,145
Hey.
690
00:45:48,048 --> 00:45:49,049
- Yeah?
- Mmm-hmm.
691
00:45:52,386 --> 00:45:54,188
How did you do that?
692
00:45:54,221 --> 00:45:55,724
Just did it.
693
00:45:58,560 --> 00:46:00,494
So, have you cried yet?
694
00:46:01,195 --> 00:46:02,363
No.
695
00:46:04,465 --> 00:46:05,799
I cry every day.
696
00:46:06,500 --> 00:46:08,068
Especially at night.
697
00:46:10,371 --> 00:46:11,539
Leaving already?
698
00:46:14,408 --> 00:46:16,277
I hear my mom cry at night.
699
00:46:18,145 --> 00:46:19,947
Crying is good.
700
00:46:19,980 --> 00:46:22,416
I wish I could talk
to my mom and dad.
701
00:46:22,449 --> 00:46:23,585
You can.
702
00:46:23,618 --> 00:46:25,252
Visit them at their grave site.
703
00:46:26,287 --> 00:46:27,421
It helped me.
704
00:46:29,056 --> 00:46:31,125
I gotta go. See you around.
705
00:46:34,862 --> 00:46:35,863
See you later.
706
00:46:50,944 --> 00:46:53,914
So, yeah, I just waited for her
outside her store,
707
00:46:53,947 --> 00:46:56,483
you know, suave and stuff.
708
00:46:56,518 --> 00:46:58,252
So you... You're stalking her.
709
00:46:59,386 --> 00:47:01,121
Stalking,
710
00:47:01,155 --> 00:47:02,956
staking, staking out.
711
00:47:02,990 --> 00:47:05,392
So?
712
00:47:05,426 --> 00:47:07,194
The Berlin Wall went up again.
713
00:47:08,962 --> 00:47:10,565
So, break it down again.
714
00:47:12,066 --> 00:47:14,902
It might take
another hundred years.
715
00:47:14,935 --> 00:47:16,270
Definitely would be worth it,
though.
716
00:47:22,176 --> 00:47:23,844
Yeah. Hi, Mrs. C.
717
00:47:25,112 --> 00:47:26,980
What?
718
00:47:28,916 --> 00:47:31,653
Unbelievable.
719
00:47:31,686 --> 00:47:35,989
Yeah. No. Lock him in the closet
with no food or water.
720
00:47:36,023 --> 00:47:37,491
I'll be there as soon as I can.
721
00:47:39,326 --> 00:47:40,361
What happened?
722
00:47:41,228 --> 00:47:43,130
Timmy, the kid,
723
00:47:43,163 --> 00:47:45,966
broke a car window
with a slingshot.
724
00:47:45,999 --> 00:47:47,535
Who gave him that?
725
00:47:47,569 --> 00:47:49,537
Someone who should
definitely not
726
00:47:49,571 --> 00:47:52,039
have responsibility
over young children.
727
00:48:03,484 --> 00:48:04,485
Whoa!
728
00:48:05,986 --> 00:48:07,689
- Max.
- Hi.
729
00:48:07,722 --> 00:48:10,190
- Tim left.
- What?
730
00:48:10,224 --> 00:48:12,459
Vinnie, open up!
731
00:48:13,628 --> 00:48:15,095
I didn't call the cops.
732
00:48:15,129 --> 00:48:16,463
Vinnie, I don't have time
for your games.
733
00:48:16,497 --> 00:48:18,399
My nephew, Tim, took off.
Which way did he go?
734
00:48:26,140 --> 00:48:27,207
You're really high up.
735
00:48:28,475 --> 00:48:30,043
Sorry about the window.
736
00:48:31,378 --> 00:48:33,347
It's all right.
The wind made it curve.
737
00:48:35,249 --> 00:48:36,551
Are you gonna punish me?
738
00:48:37,217 --> 00:48:38,252
Nah.
739
00:48:39,153 --> 00:48:40,655
That is nah,
740
00:48:40,688 --> 00:48:42,489
as long as you tell me
your secret.
741
00:48:45,292 --> 00:48:46,927
All right, I'll go first.
742
00:48:49,096 --> 00:48:50,464
My secret is...
743
00:48:51,699 --> 00:48:53,967
I don't have
a big signature trick.
744
00:48:55,002 --> 00:48:56,970
I never have.
745
00:48:57,004 --> 00:48:59,473
That's why I work
a nowhere job for peanuts.
746
00:49:00,675 --> 00:49:02,376
I lack inspiration.
747
00:49:03,343 --> 00:49:05,345
I like your magic tricks.
748
00:49:05,379 --> 00:49:08,550
Yeah, well, thanks.
'Cause you're a rare breed.
749
00:49:08,583 --> 00:49:10,585
All right, that's my secret.
You're up.
750
00:49:11,519 --> 00:49:13,187
My secret?
751
00:49:13,220 --> 00:49:15,590
Yeah, come on.
I just spilled my guts out.
752
00:49:17,291 --> 00:49:20,294
The secret is to be yourself.
753
00:49:20,327 --> 00:49:21,729
That's what I do.
754
00:49:21,763 --> 00:49:24,164
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Come on. This is serious.
755
00:49:24,198 --> 00:49:26,400
Listen, I met
this total babe, and...
756
00:49:26,433 --> 00:49:28,168
I mean lady.
757
00:49:28,202 --> 00:49:30,137
And every time I get around her,
758
00:49:30,170 --> 00:49:32,473
I say stupid things,
I do stupid things,
759
00:49:32,507 --> 00:49:34,374
I get real nervous.
760
00:49:34,408 --> 00:49:35,743
For the first time...
761
00:49:37,244 --> 00:49:38,245
ever.
762
00:49:39,279 --> 00:49:40,715
I need help, man!
763
00:49:41,616 --> 00:49:43,116
Come on, spill it.
764
00:49:43,150 --> 00:49:46,220
Like, how did your dad
get your mom?
765
00:49:46,253 --> 00:49:49,189
How am I supposed to know?
I wasn't even born.
766
00:49:49,223 --> 00:49:50,625
Yeah. Good point.
767
00:49:50,658 --> 00:49:52,527
Well, just take a guess.
768
00:49:54,328 --> 00:49:55,697
She always liked compliments.
769
00:49:56,664 --> 00:49:58,265
Ah, yeah.
770
00:49:58,298 --> 00:50:00,033
Jennifer, you're so hot.
771
00:50:00,067 --> 00:50:02,236
No more specific.
772
00:50:02,269 --> 00:50:03,470
Like...
773
00:50:03,505 --> 00:50:05,305
Your hair smells delicious.
774
00:50:06,406 --> 00:50:08,810
Or... I like your boobies.
775
00:50:08,843 --> 00:50:11,713
No, come on.
776
00:50:11,746 --> 00:50:14,281
Like, your eyes are beautiful.
777
00:50:14,314 --> 00:50:16,651
Oh, yeah, yeah. Eyes are good.
778
00:50:18,252 --> 00:50:20,655
She also liked thoughtful gifts.
779
00:50:20,688 --> 00:50:22,790
Oh, yeah.
I could get her like a...
780
00:50:22,824 --> 00:50:25,392
a gift certificate
to the movies.
781
00:50:25,425 --> 00:50:27,629
Come on. More thoughtful.
782
00:50:27,662 --> 00:50:31,298
Like, if it's the first thing
that comes to mind...
783
00:50:31,331 --> 00:50:33,200
Yeah. Then it's not
that thoughtful.
784
00:50:33,233 --> 00:50:34,234
No.
785
00:50:35,369 --> 00:50:36,804
Good talk. Good talk.
786
00:50:38,171 --> 00:50:39,172
I'm falling.
787
00:50:44,444 --> 00:50:46,213
I, Max
788
00:50:46,246 --> 00:50:47,582
"the Magical,"
789
00:50:47,615 --> 00:50:50,685
shall levitate that cup
into that can.
790
00:50:50,718 --> 00:50:53,655
- Do you believe I can do it?
- No.
791
00:50:53,688 --> 00:50:56,290
You wanna put your money
where your 10-year-old mouth is?
792
00:50:56,323 --> 00:50:59,059
- Quarter says I can.
- Bet you a dollar you can't.
793
00:51:00,628 --> 00:51:03,096
Dollar's pretty steep.
Okay, you better pay up.
794
00:51:04,832 --> 00:51:07,535
Please, I need complete silence.
795
00:51:09,604 --> 00:51:11,606
I am conjuring
my personal force.
796
00:51:16,778 --> 00:51:18,513
Yes!
797
00:51:18,546 --> 00:51:20,314
- You see it? It moved.
- No.
798
00:51:20,347 --> 00:51:22,784
- That was the wind.
- Wind-schmind. That was me.
799
00:51:22,817 --> 00:51:25,285
That was Max "the Magical."
Watch.
800
00:51:25,319 --> 00:51:26,521
Watch and learn.
801
00:51:34,862 --> 00:51:36,531
Can I pay you next week?
802
00:51:36,564 --> 00:51:38,633
No, no. The reason is
I gotta call my accountant,
803
00:51:38,666 --> 00:51:42,870
move some things around, offshore
accountants. It's for tax purposes.
804
00:51:42,904 --> 00:51:44,104
Yeah, right.
805
00:51:45,740 --> 00:51:47,842
Did you make mistakes
when you were a kid?
806
00:51:47,875 --> 00:51:50,243
Tons.
807
00:51:50,277 --> 00:51:53,113
I did so much stupid stuff,
my dad was so fed up with me.
808
00:51:53,681 --> 00:51:54,716
Wait.
809
00:51:59,186 --> 00:52:00,220
I think I just...
810
00:52:02,389 --> 00:52:05,192
Yeah, I just got an idea
for a new trick.
811
00:52:05,225 --> 00:52:06,928
- The big one?
- Could be.
812
00:52:06,961 --> 00:52:08,563
Could be.
But I'll tell you what.
813
00:52:08,596 --> 00:52:10,932
It's gonna take
a little humility
814
00:52:10,965 --> 00:52:12,900
and a lot of embarrassment.
815
00:52:12,934 --> 00:52:14,569
So, do it.
816
00:52:14,602 --> 00:52:17,805
Not for me, for you.
817
00:52:17,839 --> 00:52:20,575
- I look ridiculous.
- You do not.
818
00:52:20,608 --> 00:52:23,578
You look great. You said
you wanted to be my assistant.
819
00:52:23,611 --> 00:52:25,713
Man, I hope no one sees me.
820
00:52:25,747 --> 00:52:28,448
Everybody's gonna see you.
And we're gonna see...
821
00:52:31,251 --> 00:52:33,554
Yeah, hold on. Just don't move.
822
00:52:36,490 --> 00:52:38,693
- Pull the thing. Pull...
- Give me that.
823
00:52:38,726 --> 00:52:41,929
How many times have I told you?
Don't play with my magic stuff.
824
00:52:41,963 --> 00:52:44,866
- His fault.
- I'm sorry.
825
00:52:44,899 --> 00:52:47,367
Now, if you want me to show you
how to do it, I will.
826
00:52:48,402 --> 00:52:50,337
But not now, because I'm mad.
827
00:52:50,370 --> 00:52:53,206
Oh, but listen, I was thinking
about this other trick
828
00:52:53,240 --> 00:52:57,344
when I levitate,
and then I come back down
829
00:52:58,278 --> 00:52:59,514
and then...
830
00:52:59,547 --> 00:53:01,683
You don't know how to levitate.
831
00:53:01,716 --> 00:53:02,784
I know how to levitate.
832
00:53:04,686 --> 00:53:05,920
Hold this.
833
00:53:06,888 --> 00:53:09,624
Hey! Get off! Get off him!
834
00:53:09,657 --> 00:53:10,892
Stand right there!
835
00:53:10,925 --> 00:53:12,325
What the heck is going on?
836
00:53:12,359 --> 00:53:13,728
I leave you alone
for two seconds
837
00:53:13,761 --> 00:53:14,962
and you get into a fight?
838
00:53:14,996 --> 00:53:16,964
Self-defense.
Clifford started it.
839
00:53:16,998 --> 00:53:19,399
- He had it coming.
- Hey.
840
00:53:19,433 --> 00:53:21,836
You beat it before I make you
pay for the hat.
841
00:53:21,869 --> 00:53:23,971
Whatever.
I'll teach you later, Tim.
842
00:53:24,005 --> 00:53:25,673
Listen, you're not...
843
00:53:28,576 --> 00:53:30,477
- I'm not doing this anymore.
- No. Hold on.
844
00:53:30,511 --> 00:53:32,345
Hold on, the outfit.
Don't do that.
845
00:53:32,379 --> 00:53:34,549
The outfit's paid for, buddy.
846
00:53:34,582 --> 00:53:36,884
- What about the big reveal?
- Do it yourself.
847
00:53:38,786 --> 00:53:40,588
Tim.
848
00:53:40,621 --> 00:53:42,289
We were gonna be...
849
00:53:42,322 --> 00:53:44,491
Go to Mrs. C's, Tim.
850
00:54:39,881 --> 00:54:42,650
Mom, Dad,
851
00:54:42,683 --> 00:54:45,787
I know you're in heaven
and I'm gonna have to wait,
852
00:54:45,820 --> 00:54:48,956
but I think I know
what you told me.
853
00:54:50,024 --> 00:54:52,459
This is my life now.
854
00:54:52,492 --> 00:54:54,028
I should make
the best of it, huh?
855
00:54:58,599 --> 00:54:59,600
I miss them.
856
00:55:01,903 --> 00:55:03,470
I miss them, too.
857
00:55:11,512 --> 00:55:12,847
I'm a failure, Jim.
858
00:55:14,849 --> 00:55:17,450
I'm warping this kid's
young, fragile mind.
859
00:55:20,087 --> 00:55:22,890
Oh, phones!
860
00:55:28,963 --> 00:55:29,997
Hi, Mrs. C.
861
00:55:31,699 --> 00:55:33,000
Yeah, I know.
862
00:55:33,034 --> 00:55:35,536
Sidekick thing
was a bad idea. I...
863
00:55:38,105 --> 00:55:40,007
Tim just got home?
864
00:55:40,041 --> 00:55:41,509
What do you mean he just...
865
00:55:41,542 --> 00:55:43,476
It's 10:00.
Where the hell was he?
866
00:55:45,513 --> 00:55:47,748
Brandi?
867
00:55:47,782 --> 00:55:49,517
He was with Brandi.
868
00:55:50,785 --> 00:55:52,086
That little player.
869
00:55:53,087 --> 00:55:54,555
Her mom's there.
870
00:55:55,122 --> 00:55:56,958
She's mad.
871
00:55:56,991 --> 00:55:58,358
Extremely mad.
872
00:56:00,427 --> 00:56:02,429
Not at me, though, right?
873
00:56:02,462 --> 00:56:03,698
No, no, no.
874
00:56:03,731 --> 00:56:06,033
Okay, I'll be right there.
875
00:56:06,067 --> 00:56:07,735
Sorry I'm late. Mrs. C.
876
00:56:09,003 --> 00:56:10,638
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
877
00:56:10,671 --> 00:56:11,873
You two know each other?
878
00:56:11,906 --> 00:56:14,775
- Yeah, we met.
- Briefly.
879
00:56:14,809 --> 00:56:16,878
I think I hear laundry
calling my name.
880
00:56:16,911 --> 00:56:18,946
Why don't you two go watch TV
for a few minutes?
881
00:56:22,183 --> 00:56:24,785
- I wanna go with them.
- You, stay.
882
00:56:27,154 --> 00:56:28,689
I was worried sick.
883
00:56:28,723 --> 00:56:30,191
Two 10-year-old's
have no business
884
00:56:30,224 --> 00:56:32,193
roaming the streets
at night. We have rules.
885
00:56:32,226 --> 00:56:34,095
You're darn right we do.
886
00:56:34,128 --> 00:56:36,030
Now what are we gonna do
about her?
887
00:56:36,063 --> 00:56:38,599
Oh, she's in trouble, too.
888
00:56:38,633 --> 00:56:41,102
Ever since Brandi's been hanging
around with your nephew,
889
00:56:41,135 --> 00:56:43,738
I am slipping on sunflower
shells all over the house.
890
00:56:43,771 --> 00:56:45,806
Oh, no.
891
00:56:47,808 --> 00:56:52,146
They're kids,
they bond in different ways.
892
00:56:52,179 --> 00:56:54,481
Mrs. Chambers told me
about your brother.
893
00:56:55,516 --> 00:56:57,184
I am sorry.
894
00:56:57,218 --> 00:56:59,153
It's not easy. We can relate.
895
00:56:59,186 --> 00:57:01,756
And, Tim,
he seems like a great kid.
896
00:57:01,789 --> 00:57:03,490
But keep him away
from your daughter.
897
00:57:03,524 --> 00:57:05,159
No, I don't want that.
898
00:57:05,192 --> 00:57:07,762
It's not fair of me
to take that away.
899
00:57:07,795 --> 00:57:11,165
But I cannot be at work
wondering if Brandi is safe.
900
00:57:11,198 --> 00:57:13,200
Mrs. C could watch them.
901
00:57:13,234 --> 00:57:16,070
And then you could swing by
to pick them up.
902
00:57:16,103 --> 00:57:17,805
I'm thinking six-ish.
903
00:57:19,006 --> 00:57:21,042
So you guarantee her safety?
904
00:57:24,946 --> 00:57:27,548
Mmm. I'm gonna
have to ask you for a favor.
905
00:57:30,084 --> 00:57:31,919
Godfather.
906
00:57:31,953 --> 00:57:35,022
I'm sorry.
I don't know what I'm doing.
907
00:57:35,056 --> 00:57:36,691
This is new to me, you know?
908
00:57:36,724 --> 00:57:40,194
Yeah, I'm guessing it's not easy
being an instant parent.
909
00:57:40,227 --> 00:57:41,862
Parenthood was microwaved
910
00:57:41,896 --> 00:57:44,065
and then thrown into my life
like a frozen TV dinner.
911
00:57:44,098 --> 00:57:45,700
But I don't have the directions,
912
00:57:45,733 --> 00:57:47,101
so I don't know
which part to put the slit in
913
00:57:47,134 --> 00:57:48,669
or which part to peel back.
914
00:57:48,703 --> 00:57:50,504
And so I end up with
overdone peach cobbler
915
00:57:50,538 --> 00:57:52,239
and frozen chimichangas.
916
00:57:52,273 --> 00:57:55,609
It is not easy.
I will give you that.
917
00:57:55,643 --> 00:57:57,078
Well, thank you.
918
00:57:57,111 --> 00:57:59,246
B, we gotta go, missy.
919
00:57:59,280 --> 00:58:01,515
One second, Mom.
920
00:58:01,549 --> 00:58:06,954
So how does one globally warm
your attitude towards them?
921
00:58:06,988 --> 00:58:09,223
You could keep my kid safe,
for starters.
922
00:58:09,256 --> 00:58:10,958
- I can do that.
- Good.
923
00:58:11,826 --> 00:58:12,893
Good.
924
00:58:14,195 --> 00:58:16,664
You know, actually, um...
925
00:58:16,697 --> 00:58:18,299
- there is one thing.
- Yes.
926
00:58:18,332 --> 00:58:20,634
No, I just never gave up hope.
927
00:58:22,136 --> 00:58:23,671
What?
928
00:58:23,704 --> 00:58:25,973
Um, it's Brandi's 11th birthday
on Friday.
929
00:58:26,007 --> 00:58:27,975
Maybe it would be cool
if you and Tim
930
00:58:28,009 --> 00:58:30,678
could swing by around dinner
and surprise her.
931
00:58:30,711 --> 00:58:33,647
Surp... Surprise.
932
00:58:33,681 --> 00:58:35,750
- We'll come.
- Good.
933
00:58:35,783 --> 00:58:38,719
- Good.
- I'll have cake and food.
934
00:58:38,753 --> 00:58:40,755
Cake is good.
935
00:58:43,758 --> 00:58:46,927
She doesn't know anyone,
so it is kind of a big deal.
936
00:58:46,961 --> 00:58:49,730
You don't have to get her anything.
Just yourselves is enough.
937
00:58:49,764 --> 00:58:52,066
No, no, no, no, no.
We're gonna get her something.
938
00:58:52,099 --> 00:58:54,702
I mean,
not too extravagant, but...
939
00:58:54,735 --> 00:58:57,605
And then maybe
a little magic on the side.
940
00:58:58,806 --> 00:59:00,975
- You see what I did there?
- Yes.
941
00:59:01,008 --> 00:59:02,877
- It's innuendo.
- It's great.
942
00:59:02,910 --> 00:59:05,112
- Thank you.
- So Tim knows where we live.
943
00:59:05,146 --> 00:59:07,148
It's just
down the street, 1167.
944
00:59:07,181 --> 00:59:09,717
1167, 1167.
945
00:59:09,750 --> 00:59:12,186
- Okay, then. See you later.
- 1167, 1167.
946
00:59:12,953 --> 00:59:15,089
1167. Not you.
947
00:59:28,369 --> 00:59:31,205
Max, this is Chubby the Clown.
948
00:59:31,238 --> 00:59:33,040
Chubby is gonna be helping us
out here.
949
00:59:33,074 --> 00:59:35,643
He'll be getting the laughs
and you do the magic.
950
00:59:38,312 --> 00:59:40,147
No way, Grismer.
951
00:59:40,181 --> 00:59:41,682
This is my turf.
952
00:59:41,715 --> 00:59:43,984
I've worked this gig
hard for years.
953
00:59:46,887 --> 00:59:48,656
I'm the headliner here, Grismer.
954
00:59:48,689 --> 00:59:50,658
We need some new blood.
955
00:59:50,691 --> 00:59:52,193
So you brought a clown?
956
00:59:52,226 --> 00:59:54,095
People love clowns.
957
00:59:54,128 --> 00:59:57,331
Oh.
958
00:59:59,767 --> 01:00:03,003
If I had a dollar for every time
you threatened to switch to...
959
01:00:03,037 --> 01:00:05,906
If I had a dollar
for every dollar I've lost
960
01:00:05,940 --> 01:00:09,276
because of your bad attitude
and stale tricks,
961
01:00:09,310 --> 01:00:11,345
I wouldn't need a clown.
962
01:00:11,378 --> 01:00:14,982
Don't even try it.
I make compliments rain.
963
01:00:15,015 --> 01:00:16,717
Yeah, that's all pity.
964
01:00:16,750 --> 01:00:18,018
Pity, nothing.
965
01:00:18,052 --> 01:00:20,221
If it weren't for me being
so damn charming
966
01:00:20,254 --> 01:00:23,224
with my damn charming
television commercials,
967
01:00:23,257 --> 01:00:25,192
you wouldn't sell a thing.
968
01:00:25,226 --> 01:00:27,294
Well, we'll just
have to see about that.
969
01:00:31,198 --> 01:00:33,434
I'm thinking of a new act.
970
01:00:33,467 --> 01:00:36,337
It's not your act, Max,
it's you.
971
01:00:36,370 --> 01:00:37,872
You're fired.
972
01:00:38,405 --> 01:00:39,807
I quit!
973
01:00:41,342 --> 01:00:43,377
Oh!
974
01:00:43,410 --> 01:00:46,213
Whoo! It's raining,
it's raining!
975
01:00:46,247 --> 01:00:50,017
You're not only a bad magician,
you're a bad person.
976
01:00:50,050 --> 01:00:51,452
Oh, yeah?
977
01:00:51,485 --> 01:00:53,287
Oh, yeah!
978
01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:56,157
You think I'm a bad person, huh?
979
01:00:56,190 --> 01:00:59,660
You, think
I'm a bad person, huh? Huh?
980
01:01:02,129 --> 01:01:04,798
I'm a great person. Yeah.
981
01:01:04,832 --> 01:01:06,734
I'm a...
982
01:01:06,767 --> 01:01:08,335
I'm America's sweetheart.
983
01:01:08,369 --> 01:01:10,337
I'm a national
frigging treasure.
984
01:01:10,371 --> 01:01:11,972
I'm the Julia Roberts
985
01:01:12,006 --> 01:01:15,743
of used car sales, baby.
Rain it down.
986
01:01:19,980 --> 01:01:21,916
I'm a good person.
987
01:01:21,949 --> 01:01:24,118
There goes
employee of the month.
988
01:01:24,151 --> 01:01:25,853
Go rob
another makeup store.
989
01:01:27,188 --> 01:01:28,989
Clean up on aisle three.
990
01:01:30,391 --> 01:01:33,794
Think he forgot his meds.
991
01:01:33,827 --> 01:01:36,330
Not a lot of positions
for an out-of-work magician.
992
01:01:37,798 --> 01:01:40,367
- Birthday parties?
- No.
993
01:01:40,401 --> 01:01:41,936
Know what those little monsters
994
01:01:41,969 --> 01:01:43,370
do to magicians
at those parties?
995
01:01:43,404 --> 01:01:44,972
It's not pretty.
996
01:01:46,073 --> 01:01:47,274
Birthday party.
997
01:01:48,442 --> 01:01:49,944
What's today?
998
01:01:49,977 --> 01:01:51,078
Uh, Friday.
999
01:01:53,314 --> 01:01:54,481
Friday!
1000
01:01:55,416 --> 01:01:56,817
I suck.
1001
01:01:59,086 --> 01:02:00,254
Put it on my tab.
1002
01:02:22,544 --> 01:02:24,512
I'm sorry.
Brandi, I'm sorry...
1003
01:02:24,546 --> 01:02:26,146
Look, I don't have the energy.
1004
01:02:26,180 --> 01:02:27,948
Do you care about anyone
but yourself?
1005
01:02:30,184 --> 01:02:31,185
I'm done.
1006
01:02:49,036 --> 01:02:50,104
Can I come in?
1007
01:02:54,975 --> 01:02:56,310
All right. Um...
1008
01:02:57,278 --> 01:02:58,513
I'm sorry.
1009
01:02:59,947 --> 01:03:01,248
I know I let you down.
1010
01:03:03,017 --> 01:03:04,118
I let everyone down.
1011
01:03:06,253 --> 01:03:07,888
You know, I had a bad day.
1012
01:03:09,857 --> 01:03:11,760
Yeah, that's just an excuse,
isn't it?
1013
01:03:13,528 --> 01:03:15,530
I'm a work in progress, Tim.
1014
01:03:15,563 --> 01:03:18,533
I'm really trying,
but I'm gonna make mistakes.
1015
01:03:18,566 --> 01:03:20,501
But I'll keep trying.
I promise you that.
1016
01:03:22,169 --> 01:03:24,104
Wonder what your parents
would be thinking of me now?
1017
01:03:25,573 --> 01:03:27,174
I'm not much of a father.
1018
01:03:28,610 --> 01:03:30,477
I wasn't much
of an uncle either, was I?
1019
01:03:32,514 --> 01:03:34,148
I just hope you can forgive me.
1020
01:03:36,116 --> 01:03:37,451
Do you think you can?
1021
01:03:39,086 --> 01:03:41,088
I mean,
you don't have to answer that.
1022
01:03:42,923 --> 01:03:43,924
All right.
1023
01:03:45,627 --> 01:03:47,895
I know she liked it
1024
01:03:47,928 --> 01:03:49,564
when my dad went out of his way.
1025
01:03:55,670 --> 01:03:59,406
Like one time,
he gave up his night at the gym
1026
01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:02,976
to go take a swing dance class
with my mom.
1027
01:04:03,010 --> 01:04:05,346
He said that earned him
all sorts of points.
1028
01:04:07,047 --> 01:04:09,517
Dad noticed the little things.
1029
01:04:09,551 --> 01:04:11,985
What little things?
What do you mean?
1030
01:04:12,019 --> 01:04:14,355
Well, "You changed your hair.
1031
01:04:14,388 --> 01:04:15,989
"You've been working out.
1032
01:04:16,691 --> 01:04:18,225
"New outfit."
1033
01:04:20,194 --> 01:04:21,862
Got to make sacrifices.
1034
01:04:23,063 --> 01:04:25,065
Sacrifices.
1035
01:04:25,099 --> 01:04:27,635
I don't know
what I'd sacrifice, Tim.
1036
01:04:30,437 --> 01:04:33,974
Well, maybe instead of focusing
on this big trick
1037
01:04:34,007 --> 01:04:36,276
that you think
will make you rich and famous
1038
01:04:36,310 --> 01:04:38,379
and attractive to women,
1039
01:04:38,412 --> 01:04:41,516
you should put in the work
like my dad did with my mom.
1040
01:04:51,125 --> 01:04:52,459
Can I help?
1041
01:04:52,493 --> 01:04:55,195
You've cooked enough for me.
It's my turn.
1042
01:04:55,229 --> 01:04:57,965
Wow. This is
a pleasant surprise, Max.
1043
01:04:57,998 --> 01:05:01,502
Well, I wouldn't say that
just yet.
1044
01:05:01,536 --> 01:05:05,472
- I hope you like scrambled.
- Yes.
1045
01:05:05,507 --> 01:05:08,275
- Shells or no shells?
- Without shells, Max.
1046
01:05:08,308 --> 01:05:09,644
But I'm not picky.
1047
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:15,382
- Mrs. C?
- Yes.
1048
01:05:18,185 --> 01:05:20,120
Um...
1049
01:05:20,154 --> 01:05:22,089
if you could have one thing,
1050
01:05:22,122 --> 01:05:23,457
just one wish, what would it be?
1051
01:05:25,325 --> 01:05:26,594
I don't know.
1052
01:05:28,429 --> 01:05:32,299
Maybe a planter on my porch
with some flowers in it.
1053
01:05:34,067 --> 01:05:36,136
Ooh.
How's it going, Max?
1054
01:05:37,004 --> 01:05:38,972
What do you think?
1055
01:05:39,006 --> 01:05:41,074
- Oh, my goodness.
- Pretty good, huh?
1056
01:05:41,108 --> 01:05:43,511
Uh! Max, Max, Max.
1057
01:05:44,445 --> 01:05:45,979
Mmm.
1058
01:05:46,013 --> 01:05:48,750
- You know what, Mrs. C.
- What?
1059
01:05:48,783 --> 01:05:51,151
I think I have to beg
for my job back.
1060
01:05:53,187 --> 01:05:54,756
I have to do it for Tim.
1061
01:05:54,789 --> 01:05:57,257
I mean,
I got to take care of him.
1062
01:05:57,291 --> 01:06:00,562
So swallow your pride
and just do it.
1063
01:06:00,595 --> 01:06:02,463
Yeah.
I'll tell you what, though.
1064
01:06:02,496 --> 01:06:04,364
If he starts yammering on
1065
01:06:04,398 --> 01:06:06,033
about magic running its course,
and clowns running its course,
1066
01:06:06,066 --> 01:06:07,635
"I'm gonna have
a petting zoo,"
1067
01:06:07,669 --> 01:06:09,436
I don't know
if I can keep a straight face,
1068
01:06:09,470 --> 01:06:12,005
much less not hit him.
1069
01:06:12,039 --> 01:06:14,141
You can do it, Max.
1070
01:06:16,109 --> 01:06:18,378
- Mrs. C.
- Mmm-hmm?
1071
01:06:18,412 --> 01:06:21,783
How do I know
if I become a selfless person?
1072
01:06:21,816 --> 01:06:23,417
When it comes
to you naturally
1073
01:06:23,450 --> 01:06:25,152
and you don't have
to think about it.
1074
01:06:26,320 --> 01:06:27,722
Until then?
1075
01:06:27,755 --> 01:06:31,258
Until then, you just do
what you're doing now.
1076
01:06:31,291 --> 01:06:32,760
You got a big heart, Max,
1077
01:06:32,794 --> 01:06:34,261
that you don't want
people to see.
1078
01:06:34,294 --> 01:06:35,597
Shh. There are neighbors.
1079
01:06:35,630 --> 01:06:38,031
You're a good person, Max.
1080
01:06:38,065 --> 01:06:41,268
Little unorthodox
with your parenting,
1081
01:06:41,301 --> 01:06:44,171
but you care.
I can see it.
1082
01:06:44,204 --> 01:06:47,207
- And you know what?
- What?
1083
01:06:47,241 --> 01:06:49,142
Tim can see it, too.
1084
01:06:51,513 --> 01:06:53,615
- You know what, Mrs. C?
- What?
1085
01:06:53,648 --> 01:06:55,449
You always
make me feel great.
1086
01:06:59,353 --> 01:07:01,221
I love you.
1087
01:07:01,255 --> 01:07:03,290
Mr. C was a lucky man.
1088
01:07:03,323 --> 01:07:04,358
Mmm.
1089
01:07:06,661 --> 01:07:08,362
I love you, too, Max.
1090
01:07:09,731 --> 01:07:11,533
Keep working on it, baby.
1091
01:07:11,566 --> 01:07:12,700
Oh, yeah, I'm gonna build
you a whole bunch of these.
1092
01:07:12,734 --> 01:07:14,434
Oh. Help me.
1093
01:07:15,637 --> 01:07:17,672
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.
1094
01:07:17,705 --> 01:07:19,139
Hi.
1095
01:07:19,674 --> 01:07:21,375
Hey, baby.
1096
01:07:21,408 --> 01:07:23,310
Max is right back there.
1097
01:07:25,445 --> 01:07:27,180
Hello.
1098
01:07:27,214 --> 01:07:29,817
Hi.
1099
01:07:29,851 --> 01:07:32,754
I don't wanna punish them
for something someone else did.
1100
01:07:32,787 --> 01:07:34,622
I was hoping you'd say that.
1101
01:07:37,825 --> 01:07:39,794
There's nothing I can say,
1102
01:07:39,827 --> 01:07:41,328
but there is something
I can do.
1103
01:07:41,361 --> 01:07:43,831
Yeah? What is that?
1104
01:07:43,865 --> 01:07:45,733
Be a man.
1105
01:07:45,767 --> 01:07:47,569
I started last night though.
1106
01:07:47,602 --> 01:07:49,369
You can probably tell already,
I shouldn't have said that.
1107
01:07:51,873 --> 01:07:53,608
What is that?
1108
01:07:53,641 --> 01:07:55,342
A planter box,
I built it for Mrs. C.
1109
01:07:55,375 --> 01:07:56,544
Pretty nice, huh?
1110
01:07:56,578 --> 01:07:58,412
Oh, I didn't realize
you were handy.
1111
01:07:58,445 --> 01:08:00,815
Yeah.
1112
01:08:00,848 --> 01:08:02,215
You must have
a green thumb.
1113
01:08:02,249 --> 01:08:04,819
Well, I didn't make
the plants.
1114
01:08:04,852 --> 01:08:06,219
I bought 'em.
1115
01:08:07,421 --> 01:08:09,122
It's the thought
that counts.
1116
01:08:09,156 --> 01:08:10,390
Right?
1117
01:08:10,424 --> 01:08:12,426
- Hi.
- Hi.
1118
01:08:12,459 --> 01:08:14,529
- You're here for play date with Tim?
- Mmm-hmm.
1119
01:08:14,562 --> 01:08:15,697
Around back.
1120
01:08:15,730 --> 01:08:16,864
Can I go, Mommy?
1121
01:08:16,898 --> 01:08:18,198
Of course, sweetheart.
1122
01:08:18,231 --> 01:08:19,266
Ahoy.
1123
01:08:19,299 --> 01:08:21,769
Ahoy.
1124
01:08:21,803 --> 01:08:23,671
And if Mommy
wants a play date...
1125
01:08:24,739 --> 01:08:26,440
That's stupid.
1126
01:08:26,473 --> 01:08:28,342
It was good to see you.
1127
01:08:49,196 --> 01:08:50,497
- Susan.
- Oh.
1128
01:08:54,201 --> 01:08:55,737
You look lovely.
1129
01:09:00,474 --> 01:09:01,943
That's a letter for Mike.
1130
01:09:01,976 --> 01:09:03,711
It's from
an anonymous source.
1131
01:09:03,745 --> 01:09:05,880
And I want you
to deliver it.
1132
01:09:05,913 --> 01:09:07,915
Why? Why don't you
do it yourself?
1133
01:09:08,916 --> 01:09:10,818
Because I want you to.
1134
01:09:10,852 --> 01:09:13,888
Isn't that your job,
to deliver correspondents to everybody?
1135
01:09:13,921 --> 01:09:16,524
Kiss my butt.
But I'll do it.
1136
01:09:16,557 --> 01:09:18,826
And then you need
to ask Mike out.
1137
01:09:18,860 --> 01:09:20,662
Why?
1138
01:09:20,695 --> 01:09:23,931
Because... he likes you.
1139
01:09:23,965 --> 01:09:26,968
And if you wait for him to ask you
out, you'll both be old and gray
1140
01:09:27,001 --> 01:09:28,803
before he musters
the courage.
1141
01:09:28,836 --> 01:09:30,270
Okay? So.
1142
01:09:30,303 --> 01:09:31,873
Got it.
1143
01:09:31,906 --> 01:09:33,941
Thanks for the tip, Max.
1144
01:09:33,975 --> 01:09:37,310
I take back some of the things
I said about you.
1145
01:09:37,344 --> 01:09:39,446
- Like one or two things.
- Okay.
1146
01:09:39,479 --> 01:09:41,849
I said
a lot of bad things.
1147
01:09:41,883 --> 01:09:43,618
- I'll take that.
- Okay.
1148
01:09:52,292 --> 01:09:54,796
Mike! Mike!
1149
01:09:54,829 --> 01:09:56,296
What? What's this?
1150
01:09:56,329 --> 01:09:58,465
It's a letter from
an anonymous source.
1151
01:09:58,498 --> 01:09:59,634
Anonymous? For me?
1152
01:09:59,667 --> 01:10:01,569
- Open it now.
- Yeah.
1153
01:10:04,404 --> 01:10:07,675
"Dear Mike,
if anyone deserves
1154
01:10:07,709 --> 01:10:10,745
"to launch his own repair shop,
it's you.
1155
01:10:10,778 --> 01:10:12,547
"Here's a cashier's check for...
1156
01:10:14,448 --> 01:10:17,484
"for $20,000
to get you started.
1157
01:10:17,518 --> 01:10:20,722
"A friend." Are you serious?
Are you kidding me?
1158
01:10:20,755 --> 01:10:22,623
- Are you kidding me?
- I'm...
1159
01:10:22,657 --> 01:10:24,424
Oh, my gosh!
1160
01:10:24,458 --> 01:10:26,359
- I'm so happy for you!
- Oh, my gosh!
1161
01:10:26,393 --> 01:10:30,464
Yes! Yes, I'll go to dinner
with you tonight to celebrate!
1162
01:10:30,497 --> 01:10:31,999
- Really?
- Yes.
1163
01:10:33,935 --> 01:10:35,870
I apologize
for barging in,
1164
01:10:35,903 --> 01:10:38,973
but I... I really do
need your advice.
1165
01:10:39,006 --> 01:10:41,241
When I first met Max,
1166
01:10:42,309 --> 01:10:43,878
he didn't seem content,
1167
01:10:43,911 --> 01:10:47,782
and he seemed
a little self-absorbed.
1168
01:10:47,815 --> 01:10:51,986
In all honesty, I did not think
that he was father material.
1169
01:10:52,019 --> 01:10:55,523
But I gotta say, it seems like
the proof is in the pudding,
1170
01:10:56,591 --> 01:10:58,659
and I may have misjudged him.
1171
01:10:58,693 --> 01:11:01,996
Max is like
a starched un-pressed shirt
1172
01:11:02,029 --> 01:11:04,364
that needs
a little iron on it.
1173
01:11:05,432 --> 01:11:07,034
Got it.
1174
01:11:07,068 --> 01:11:09,469
He's a work in progress,
1175
01:11:09,503 --> 01:11:12,573
but he has a good heart.
Always has.
1176
01:11:12,607 --> 01:11:17,377
Now, he may become
the best dad in the world,
1177
01:11:17,410 --> 01:11:19,479
but then again,
he could drive you crazy.
1178
01:11:32,860 --> 01:11:35,696
- You got the stuff?
- What stuff?
1179
01:11:35,730 --> 01:11:37,732
The seeds, man,
the seeds!
1180
01:11:37,765 --> 01:11:39,432
Oh, right.
1181
01:11:40,067 --> 01:11:41,769
Come on.
1182
01:11:41,803 --> 01:11:43,037
Thank you.
1183
01:11:46,808 --> 01:11:49,944
You ever think that your
mom could be into my uncle?
1184
01:11:49,977 --> 01:11:52,713
Ew, if they ever got married
and you got adopted,
1185
01:11:52,747 --> 01:11:54,749
that would make us
brother and sister.
1186
01:11:55,616 --> 01:11:57,885
Good point.
1187
01:11:57,919 --> 01:12:00,888
At first, I would've said
no possible way,
1188
01:12:00,922 --> 01:12:02,623
but I have
this weird feeling.
1189
01:12:02,657 --> 01:12:04,025
Like what?
1190
01:12:04,058 --> 01:12:05,893
Like he might be
growing on her.
1191
01:12:05,927 --> 01:12:07,728
- Yikes.
- I know.
1192
01:12:08,896 --> 01:12:10,363
We have to find
a way to stop this
1193
01:12:10,397 --> 01:12:11,833
before we become
brother and sister.
1194
01:12:11,866 --> 01:12:12,900
But how?
1195
01:12:14,101 --> 01:12:15,536
I don't know.
1196
01:12:17,071 --> 01:12:19,439
Stop.
1197
01:12:19,472 --> 01:12:20,975
Mike.
1198
01:12:21,008 --> 01:12:23,678
Hey. Thank you.
1199
01:12:23,711 --> 01:12:26,047
- For what?
- Susan decided to go out with me.
1200
01:12:26,948 --> 01:12:28,549
That's great.
1201
01:12:28,583 --> 01:12:29,917
Why're you thanking me?
1202
01:12:29,951 --> 01:12:31,484
Because I think
she said yes
1203
01:12:31,519 --> 01:12:33,386
because you made me
look good by comparison.
1204
01:12:35,488 --> 01:12:36,991
Mike, I got problems, man.
1205
01:12:37,024 --> 01:12:39,060
Tomorrow is "bring your parent
to school" day.
1206
01:12:39,093 --> 01:12:40,628
- Nice.
- Not nice.
1207
01:12:40,661 --> 01:12:44,065
What if I blow it,
you know, the kid?
1208
01:12:44,098 --> 01:12:46,067
Plus, there's a fundraiser
after school,
1209
01:12:46,100 --> 01:12:49,637
and for some reason,
I volunteered to be the headliner.
1210
01:12:49,670 --> 01:12:52,006
Wow, that's...
That's high-pressure.
1211
01:12:52,039 --> 01:12:53,440
You're not kidding, man.
1212
01:12:53,473 --> 01:12:55,710
We're talking
about first-graders.
1213
01:12:55,743 --> 01:12:57,078
Brutal.
1214
01:12:57,111 --> 01:12:59,046
Hi, class.
1215
01:13:02,817 --> 01:13:05,686
Well, I should first
start by explaining
1216
01:13:05,720 --> 01:13:08,488
that I am not Tim's dad.
1217
01:13:09,190 --> 01:13:11,559
Or his mom.
1218
01:13:17,064 --> 01:13:19,834
Tim's parents
couldn't be here today
1219
01:13:21,535 --> 01:13:24,171
because they are in heaven.
1220
01:13:24,205 --> 01:13:27,742
Let's all take a moment
of silence for Tim.
1221
01:13:33,114 --> 01:13:34,882
Okay, great.
1222
01:13:35,883 --> 01:13:38,219
I am actually Tim's uncle
1223
01:13:38,252 --> 01:13:40,855
and I am a magician.
1224
01:13:42,023 --> 01:13:44,825
Who knows
what a magician is?
1225
01:13:44,859 --> 01:13:46,994
Yeah.
We're not in kindergarten.
1226
01:13:47,962 --> 01:13:49,462
Right.
1227
01:13:49,496 --> 01:13:52,967
Hold your questions
till the end. Thank you.
1228
01:13:53,000 --> 01:13:57,204
Now I'm sure you've all seen me
in my television commercials.
1229
01:13:57,238 --> 01:14:01,142
Well, the parents have...
1230
01:14:01,175 --> 01:14:03,945
Okay, well,
why don't I get started
1231
01:14:03,978 --> 01:14:05,980
with a good easy trick?
1232
01:14:06,013 --> 01:14:11,018
And I think that
Mr. Helpful over here
1233
01:14:11,052 --> 01:14:13,688
is gonna be
my lovely assistant,
1234
01:14:13,721 --> 01:14:15,923
for I do believe
1235
01:14:15,957 --> 01:14:19,026
that you have something
behind your ear.
1236
01:14:19,060 --> 01:14:21,529
Where did that come from?
1237
01:14:21,562 --> 01:14:24,497
Isn't that egg-cellent?
1238
01:14:26,100 --> 01:14:30,104
Now, I'm going to levitate
this egg over your head,
1239
01:14:30,137 --> 01:14:34,675
and what you have to do
is say the magic word.
1240
01:14:34,709 --> 01:14:38,779
The magic word
is "scrambled."
1241
01:14:40,548 --> 01:14:43,150
Scrambled.
1242
01:14:43,184 --> 01:14:44,652
Are you ready?
1243
01:14:46,587 --> 01:14:47,655
Scrambled.
1244
01:14:53,060 --> 01:14:54,762
I'm so sorry.
1245
01:14:54,795 --> 01:14:55,896
Here you go.
1246
01:14:55,930 --> 01:14:57,865
Wipe yourself off,
young man.
1247
01:14:59,867 --> 01:15:02,870
Uh-oh, that was
the wrong rag.
1248
01:15:02,903 --> 01:15:04,538
Whoops.
1249
01:15:06,841 --> 01:15:10,144
Now, does anybody
have $20, please?
1250
01:15:11,345 --> 01:15:13,914
Do the parents have $20?
1251
01:15:14,915 --> 01:15:16,550
How about $10?
1252
01:15:16,584 --> 01:15:19,220
Can I get
a ten-spot, please?
1253
01:15:19,253 --> 01:15:21,655
Wow, thank you.
You're very brave.
1254
01:15:21,689 --> 01:15:24,992
Now, I am going to rip
1255
01:15:25,026 --> 01:15:29,196
this $10 bill four times.
1256
01:15:32,299 --> 01:15:34,168
Oh, no, wait.
1257
01:15:34,201 --> 01:15:37,571
This was supposed
to be a rope.
1258
01:15:37,605 --> 01:15:39,707
Does anybody
have a rope?
1259
01:15:39,740 --> 01:15:41,776
How about a string?
1260
01:15:42,743 --> 01:15:44,578
Oh. Well,
1261
01:15:44,612 --> 01:15:47,348
I am feeling very bad
about your money, sir.
1262
01:15:47,381 --> 01:15:50,951
Would you please check
your inside pocket?
1263
01:15:53,921 --> 01:15:55,089
Nothing.
1264
01:15:55,756 --> 01:15:57,658
Nothing?
1265
01:15:57,691 --> 01:16:00,928
Well, where could it be?
1266
01:16:00,961 --> 01:16:05,032
Perhaps it's
in this levitating bag!
1267
01:16:05,066 --> 01:16:06,801
Whose backpack is that?
1268
01:16:08,202 --> 01:16:10,805
That's real money, kids.
Get it!
1269
01:16:15,176 --> 01:16:17,178
Where did all this money
come from?
1270
01:16:17,211 --> 01:16:19,613
It's raining! It's raining!
1271
01:16:19,647 --> 01:16:21,682
You better get that.
That's real money.
1272
01:16:21,715 --> 01:16:23,751
Let's go! Let's go!
1273
01:16:24,785 --> 01:16:26,087
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
1274
01:16:26,120 --> 01:16:28,923
And Max is so rad,
he made this backpack
1275
01:16:28,956 --> 01:16:30,257
levitate in the air
1276
01:16:30,291 --> 01:16:32,359
and then a bunch of money
came raining down.
1277
01:16:32,393 --> 01:16:34,695
Where did all
the money come from?
1278
01:16:34,728 --> 01:16:37,631
A magician never reveals
his secrets.
1279
01:16:37,665 --> 01:16:39,767
But I swear, he was
like Robin Hood.
1280
01:16:39,800 --> 01:16:42,136
Taking from the rich
and giving it to the poor.
1281
01:16:42,169 --> 01:16:44,638
It was so cool.
1282
01:16:45,306 --> 01:16:46,841
Oh, right.
1283
01:16:46,874 --> 01:16:48,876
And, um, he gives me cookies
for breakfast.
1284
01:16:48,909 --> 01:16:51,178
By the way,
it's super bad for your teeth.
1285
01:16:52,713 --> 01:16:54,381
Ix-nay on the ool-kay.
1286
01:16:54,415 --> 01:16:55,883
Hey.
1287
01:16:56,851 --> 01:16:58,786
- Hi.
- Hi.
1288
01:16:58,819 --> 01:17:00,688
I heard you were a hit
at Parent Day.
1289
01:17:00,721 --> 01:17:03,057
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
1290
01:17:03,090 --> 01:17:05,726
First let me say, whoa.
1291
01:17:07,161 --> 01:17:10,331
And second...
Hey, Tim.
1292
01:17:10,364 --> 01:17:13,000
Thanks for the good props,
wingman.
1293
01:17:16,737 --> 01:17:19,140
Is there something going on
with you?
1294
01:17:19,173 --> 01:17:20,708
Why do you ask?
1295
01:17:20,741 --> 01:17:23,777
I don't know.
I, uh, I noticed a change.
1296
01:17:25,479 --> 01:17:26,881
I'm blossoming.
1297
01:17:28,849 --> 01:17:30,384
It might just be
my imagination.
1298
01:17:30,417 --> 01:17:33,120
No, I'm blossoming.
1299
01:17:33,154 --> 01:17:34,421
Well, it shows.
1300
01:17:35,823 --> 01:17:37,791
He has been good for me.
1301
01:17:37,825 --> 01:17:40,728
He makes me
see things differently.
1302
01:17:40,761 --> 01:17:42,863
He lights up
when he talks about you.
1303
01:17:42,897 --> 01:17:44,265
Yeah?
1304
01:17:44,298 --> 01:17:46,066
You know who else
he lights up for?
1305
01:17:49,503 --> 01:17:51,338
I was thinkin'
Friday after school,
1306
01:17:51,372 --> 01:17:52,973
if you're not busy,
we come back here,
1307
01:17:53,007 --> 01:17:55,109
we'll have a nice picnic,
all the the four of us.
1308
01:17:55,142 --> 01:17:58,145
We'll do it here, too, because
this is gonna be our spot.
1309
01:17:58,179 --> 01:18:01,715
I don't know.
Um, we got a lot going on.
1310
01:18:01,749 --> 01:18:03,384
Right after school?
1311
01:18:03,417 --> 01:18:06,020
Well, yes,
I mean, we have...
1312
01:18:06,053 --> 01:18:07,488
We're going
into the weekend,
1313
01:18:07,522 --> 01:18:09,924
and Brandi has this thing...
1314
01:18:09,957 --> 01:18:13,027
I'm not talking about anything different
than what we're doing right now.
1315
01:18:13,060 --> 01:18:15,729
Except with food
in a basket.
1316
01:18:15,763 --> 01:18:18,766
I know.
I will think about it.
1317
01:18:18,799 --> 01:18:21,001
Good. And when you
decide yes,
1318
01:18:21,035 --> 01:18:22,736
come meet us back here
1319
01:18:22,770 --> 01:18:24,772
and maybe
we'll be here, too.
1320
01:18:24,805 --> 01:18:26,106
And if you can't make it,
don't worry.
1321
01:18:26,140 --> 01:18:27,841
We probably
couldn't either.
1322
01:18:29,310 --> 01:18:31,513
I like spending time
with you.
1323
01:18:31,546 --> 01:18:33,714
And making sure
you eat.
1324
01:18:35,282 --> 01:18:37,117
We'll see.
1325
01:18:37,151 --> 01:18:38,886
Thank you
for the invitation.
1326
01:18:38,919 --> 01:18:40,921
You're welcome.
See you Friday.
1327
01:18:40,955 --> 01:18:42,156
Okay.
1328
01:18:42,189 --> 01:18:43,525
Tim!
1329
01:18:43,558 --> 01:18:47,161
Report back to base
at 6:00 p.m., soldier!
1330
01:18:48,195 --> 01:18:50,064
That's military talk.
1331
01:18:51,398 --> 01:18:52,499
Bye.
1332
01:18:59,273 --> 01:19:03,911
We have to stop this picnic/romantic
interlude at all cost.
1333
01:19:03,944 --> 01:19:05,547
But how?
1334
01:19:05,580 --> 01:19:07,515
I have an idea.
1335
01:19:07,549 --> 01:19:10,050
Well, we might be doing something
else right after school.
1336
01:19:13,921 --> 01:19:15,155
Mike...
1337
01:19:16,023 --> 01:19:17,559
business is dead.
1338
01:19:17,592 --> 01:19:20,261
No customers means
there's no sales,
1339
01:19:20,294 --> 01:19:24,832
no sales means
there's no broke cars...
1340
01:19:24,865 --> 01:19:28,102
and no broke cars means
there's nothing for you to fix.
1341
01:19:28,135 --> 01:19:30,971
So, it's over.
1342
01:19:31,005 --> 01:19:33,974
Well, I'll be fine, boss.
I'm more worried about you.
1343
01:19:34,008 --> 01:19:37,011
You know Chubby
is no Max.
1344
01:19:37,044 --> 01:19:40,881
He's got these freaky balloon
animals, they're scaring all the kids.
1345
01:19:40,914 --> 01:19:43,551
Do you know
any good magicians?
1346
01:19:43,585 --> 01:19:45,986
- Only one.
- How's that for timing?
1347
01:19:46,020 --> 01:19:47,421
No, no, no.
1348
01:19:47,454 --> 01:19:49,823
Don't poop your pants.
1349
01:19:49,857 --> 01:19:51,425
I came to apologize.
1350
01:19:52,393 --> 01:19:55,195
So, how's business?
1351
01:19:55,229 --> 01:19:57,031
Business is business.
1352
01:19:57,064 --> 01:19:58,999
You know how it is
this time of the year,
1353
01:19:59,033 --> 01:20:02,069
you gotta mix things up
and get a gimmick...
1354
01:20:02,102 --> 01:20:04,938
Magic has a shelf life.
1355
01:20:06,574 --> 01:20:08,842
Clowns are fun
for a while.
1356
01:20:08,876 --> 01:20:11,045
Hey!
1357
01:20:11,078 --> 01:20:13,881
Maybe next week,
we'll have a petting zoo.
1358
01:20:15,550 --> 01:20:18,620
Maybe I might be able
to save your bacon.
1359
01:20:18,653 --> 01:20:20,354
- You wanna hear my plan?
- Yeah.
1360
01:20:22,056 --> 01:20:23,591
Hear me out.
Flubby.
1361
01:20:23,625 --> 01:20:25,593
It's Chubby.
1362
01:20:25,627 --> 01:20:27,328
How many clowns
do you know?
1363
01:20:27,361 --> 01:20:29,496
I know a few, why?
1364
01:20:29,531 --> 01:20:32,199
We're gonna need more
than a few.
1365
01:20:32,232 --> 01:20:34,168
Or at least their costumes.
1366
01:20:34,201 --> 01:20:36,538
- You're ready?
- Yeah.
1367
01:20:36,571 --> 01:20:38,872
I was so hoping
you would say that.
1368
01:20:39,907 --> 01:20:41,075
See you.
1369
01:20:59,661 --> 01:21:02,196
Well, I just had a nice chat
with your principal.
1370
01:21:03,997 --> 01:21:05,299
You want to tell me
your side?
1371
01:21:06,166 --> 01:21:07,468
Clifford.
1372
01:21:09,436 --> 01:21:11,939
You really belted him, huh?
1373
01:21:11,972 --> 01:21:13,907
Yeah, I got in
a couple good ones.
1374
01:21:13,941 --> 01:21:15,643
That's my man.
1375
01:21:15,677 --> 01:21:18,011
I thought you'd be mad.
1376
01:21:18,045 --> 01:21:20,314
You do know that
we had a picnic planned
1377
01:21:20,347 --> 01:21:22,316
with Brandi's mom
and Brandi.
1378
01:21:24,017 --> 01:21:26,053
What's that face for?
1379
01:21:27,287 --> 01:21:29,323
Uncle Max...
1380
01:21:29,356 --> 01:21:31,058
if you guys keep
hanging out,
1381
01:21:31,091 --> 01:21:33,260
then there's a chance
you could get married,
1382
01:21:33,293 --> 01:21:35,329
and that would be bad.
1383
01:21:35,362 --> 01:21:36,598
Why would that be bad?
1384
01:21:36,631 --> 01:21:39,366
Because if you adopted me,
1385
01:21:39,400 --> 01:21:43,370
then me and Brandi
would be brother and sister.
1386
01:21:43,404 --> 01:21:48,108
Well, let's not get
our hopes up, okay?
1387
01:21:48,142 --> 01:21:49,977
Brandi's mom can barely
stand me right now.
1388
01:21:50,010 --> 01:21:52,446
I mean, she probably
left that picnic,
1389
01:21:52,479 --> 01:21:54,616
if she even showed up
in the first place.
1390
01:21:55,416 --> 01:21:56,718
Let's go then.
1391
01:21:56,751 --> 01:21:58,452
- All right. All right.
- Come on!
1392
01:22:35,189 --> 01:22:36,591
Where are they?
1393
01:22:43,230 --> 01:22:44,632
Oh.
1394
01:22:44,666 --> 01:22:48,770
Oh, you made it.
We were beginning to wonder.
1395
01:22:48,803 --> 01:22:52,272
Well, we had a little bid-ness to
take care of after school, right?
1396
01:22:52,306 --> 01:22:56,076
- My man, Tim, here had to...
- Take out the trash.
1397
01:22:56,109 --> 01:22:58,045
- Clean-up duty.
- Yeah.
1398
01:22:59,313 --> 01:23:00,347
Yeah.
1399
01:23:21,536 --> 01:23:22,637
- Aah!
- No!
1400
01:23:22,670 --> 01:23:24,739
Tim!
1401
01:23:33,748 --> 01:23:36,250
I tried to grab his hand,
1402
01:23:36,283 --> 01:23:37,785
but I couldn't hold him.
1403
01:23:37,819 --> 01:23:41,623
Hey, you gave it
your best shot.
1404
01:23:41,656 --> 01:23:44,792
And it was our fault for
letting you guys climb so high.
1405
01:23:44,826 --> 01:23:48,428
One thing you can't stop
is kids being kids.
1406
01:23:48,462 --> 01:23:50,097
I'll be right back,
sweetheart.
1407
01:23:51,398 --> 01:23:52,700
Mrs. C will take care of you.
1408
01:23:52,734 --> 01:23:54,101
- Okay.
- Okay?
1409
01:23:54,134 --> 01:23:55,837
Come on, baby.
1410
01:23:55,870 --> 01:23:58,305
Come to Mrs. C.
1411
01:23:58,338 --> 01:24:00,340
Yeah, you're
gonna be all right.
1412
01:24:10,585 --> 01:24:11,819
Hi, Mom.
1413
01:24:12,720 --> 01:24:14,321
Dad.
1414
01:24:14,354 --> 01:24:16,290
Dad, wait, wait.
Before you say anything,
1415
01:24:16,323 --> 01:24:18,560
I want to say something
to you first, okay?
1416
01:24:21,461 --> 01:24:23,665
I wanted to say
that I'm sorry.
1417
01:24:27,434 --> 01:24:30,638
I'm sorry that I made you
worry about me so much.
1418
01:24:30,672 --> 01:24:33,173
You worked so hard
for us,
1419
01:24:33,206 --> 01:24:35,643
and you had so much
on your plate, and I just...
1420
01:24:36,811 --> 01:24:39,146
piled more on.
1421
01:24:39,179 --> 01:24:43,651
Because I understand now.
1422
01:24:43,685 --> 01:24:46,286
I really know what it means
to love somebody...
1423
01:24:47,254 --> 01:24:48,455
so much.
1424
01:24:51,391 --> 01:24:54,261
Dad, I'm you now.
1425
01:24:54,294 --> 01:24:56,598
But I don't know
what to do.
1426
01:24:59,801 --> 01:25:02,269
I'll call you as soon
as I know anything, okay?
1427
01:25:04,906 --> 01:25:06,608
Yeah, I love you, too.
1428
01:25:10,277 --> 01:25:11,646
Hey, bud.
1429
01:25:13,347 --> 01:25:14,582
It's Uncle Max.
1430
01:25:15,617 --> 01:25:16,684
Hey.
1431
01:25:17,652 --> 01:25:19,353
This is all my fault.
1432
01:25:21,188 --> 01:25:23,758
I should have been
paying better attention to you.
1433
01:25:25,593 --> 01:25:28,328
I should have been the grown-up
that I was supposed to be.
1434
01:25:29,797 --> 01:25:31,666
And I let you down, buddy.
1435
01:25:33,367 --> 01:25:34,869
Can I go home?
1436
01:25:35,770 --> 01:25:37,605
Oh, you bet.
1437
01:25:37,639 --> 01:25:40,474
We're gonna go home
to our home.
1438
01:25:40,508 --> 01:25:42,610
And then I'm gonna
take you camping,
1439
01:25:42,644 --> 01:25:44,277
I'm gonna teach you
how to fish.
1440
01:25:44,311 --> 01:25:46,179
I'm gonna teach you
how to drive.
1441
01:25:47,582 --> 01:25:49,617
I'm gonna teach you
every magic trick I know.
1442
01:25:49,651 --> 01:25:51,853
I'm definitely gonna teach
you how to climb trees
1443
01:25:51,886 --> 01:25:53,487
that are lower
to the ground.
1444
01:25:54,889 --> 01:25:56,924
And I'll never take you
for granted.
1445
01:25:57,859 --> 01:25:59,259
Dad?
1446
01:26:00,260 --> 01:26:01,896
No. It's just me.
1447
01:26:01,929 --> 01:26:04,632
Oh, hi, Uncle Max.
1448
01:26:05,499 --> 01:26:06,934
How you doing?
1449
01:26:07,902 --> 01:26:09,436
Why are you shaking?
1450
01:26:13,273 --> 01:26:15,442
Tim, I'm shaking
1451
01:26:15,475 --> 01:26:18,813
because I just realized
how much you mean to me.
1452
01:26:18,846 --> 01:26:21,348
And I've never felt
anything like this before.
1453
01:26:22,449 --> 01:26:24,919
It's a little scary.
1454
01:26:24,952 --> 01:26:28,488
You look like my dad when I
chipped my tooth in kindergarten.
1455
01:26:29,857 --> 01:26:32,794
Did I ever tell you
that your dad
1456
01:26:32,827 --> 01:26:36,463
was like a dad to me
when I was your age
1457
01:26:36,496 --> 01:26:38,298
because I was always
getting in trouble
1458
01:26:38,331 --> 01:26:41,602
and, um, he was always
looking out for me.
1459
01:26:43,037 --> 01:26:45,405
I miss him and Mom.
1460
01:26:46,007 --> 01:26:49,476
I do, too.
1461
01:26:49,510 --> 01:26:53,246
Pretty sure they'd be handling
it a lot better than I am.
1462
01:26:53,280 --> 01:26:55,817
No. You're doin' all right.
1463
01:26:56,617 --> 01:26:58,418
Thanks, bud.
1464
01:26:59,687 --> 01:27:01,656
You gotta get
some rest now, okay?
1465
01:27:01,689 --> 01:27:03,524
Thanks, Uncle Max.
1466
01:27:16,503 --> 01:27:19,707
I think the doctors are
actually more worried about me.
1467
01:27:19,741 --> 01:27:21,909
They checked
my blood pressure six times.
1468
01:27:30,518 --> 01:27:32,520
I'm feeling
a little better.
1469
01:27:41,394 --> 01:27:42,429
Mmm.
1470
01:27:46,399 --> 01:27:48,468
Almost fully recovered.
1471
01:28:03,350 --> 01:28:05,553
Oh, there he is.
1472
01:28:05,586 --> 01:28:07,622
I've been thinking
about your proposal.
1473
01:28:07,655 --> 01:28:09,557
You have? That's great.
1474
01:28:09,590 --> 01:28:12,960
Listen, order yourself a
stiff one and keep thinking.
1475
01:28:12,994 --> 01:28:14,327
Jimbo.
1476
01:28:14,361 --> 01:28:15,997
I'd say
I'll see you tomorrow,
1477
01:28:16,030 --> 01:28:17,464
but I won't.
1478
01:28:19,000 --> 01:28:20,668
- Adios.
- Oh, um...
1479
01:28:20,701 --> 01:28:23,704
About that new trick,
I'd like to talk about that.
1480
01:28:23,738 --> 01:28:25,006
- You would?
- Yeah.
1481
01:28:25,039 --> 01:28:26,574
Well, I'd love to tell you
about that,
1482
01:28:26,607 --> 01:28:28,776
but I'm not gonna.
1483
01:28:28,810 --> 01:28:31,913
My phone's been ringing off the hook
with calls from other dealerships.
1484
01:28:31,946 --> 01:28:35,950
Well, if that trick's
half of what you say it is,
1485
01:28:35,983 --> 01:28:38,052
- I'll...
- Double my pay.
1486
01:28:38,085 --> 01:28:39,887
Give you
a 5% raise?
1487
01:28:41,088 --> 01:28:43,658
Okay. Okay.
1488
01:28:43,691 --> 01:28:45,726
This is what I got planned.
1489
01:28:45,760 --> 01:28:47,460
The car's here.
1490
01:28:59,106 --> 01:29:01,042
Thank you everyone
for being here today.
1491
01:29:01,075 --> 01:29:04,078
We wish Magic Motors
every success.
1492
01:29:04,111 --> 01:29:07,548
- Whoo!
- Congratulations!
1493
01:29:10,051 --> 01:29:11,819
Ladies and gentlemen,
1494
01:29:11,853 --> 01:29:14,421
I, Max "the Magical,"
1495
01:29:14,454 --> 01:29:18,025
would like to welcome you
all to the grand reboot
1496
01:29:18,059 --> 01:29:20,695
of Magic Motors.
1497
01:29:24,165 --> 01:29:26,901
Today, we have
an amazing experience
1498
01:29:26,934 --> 01:29:29,637
for you that
you will never forget.
1499
01:29:29,670 --> 01:29:33,074
So, are you prepared
to be amazed?
1500
01:29:33,107 --> 01:29:36,811
Are you prepared
to be astonished?
1501
01:29:36,844 --> 01:29:40,681
Are you prepared
to be mystified?
1502
01:29:40,715 --> 01:29:42,850
Yes!
1503
01:29:42,884 --> 01:29:44,652
Now I must confide in you
1504
01:29:44,685 --> 01:29:46,787
our owner here
at Magic Motors
1505
01:29:46,821 --> 01:29:49,557
has gone completely bonkers.
1506
01:29:49,590 --> 01:29:52,994
Our owner, Mr. Grismer,
1507
01:29:53,027 --> 01:29:57,999
is offering
a $750 discount check
1508
01:29:58,032 --> 01:30:01,501
to every single customer here,
1509
01:30:01,535 --> 01:30:06,107
picked by a clown today.
1510
01:30:06,140 --> 01:30:09,110
Now of course I said,
"Are you mad, man?
1511
01:30:09,143 --> 01:30:11,444
"Don't you want
to make any money?"
1512
01:30:11,478 --> 01:30:15,082
But he told me the customer
here at Magic Motors
1513
01:30:15,116 --> 01:30:17,685
always comes first.
1514
01:30:20,521 --> 01:30:22,623
And so,
1515
01:30:22,657 --> 01:30:24,859
and without further ado,
1516
01:30:25,826 --> 01:30:27,962
send in the clowns.
1517
01:30:40,274 --> 01:30:41,575
Whoa.
1518
01:30:44,211 --> 01:30:45,445
Whoa.
1519
01:30:59,894 --> 01:31:01,796
Thank you.
1520
01:31:01,829 --> 01:31:03,698
Thank you, everyone.
1521
01:31:04,632 --> 01:31:07,001
Now let's buy some cars.
1522
01:31:13,107 --> 01:31:15,209
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
1523
01:32:01,055 --> 01:32:03,090
Hey, mister,
can I have a balloon?
1524
01:32:03,124 --> 01:32:05,726
- Sure, kid.
- Thanks.
1525
01:32:05,760 --> 01:32:08,262
Be sure to tell your parents
where you got it.
1526
01:32:32,119 --> 01:32:33,721
How about this?
1527
01:32:33,754 --> 01:32:35,890
Uncle Max isn't
scared anymore.
1528
01:32:35,923 --> 01:32:37,591
Of love, I mean.
1529
01:32:37,625 --> 01:32:39,093
What do we have here?
1530
01:32:40,061 --> 01:32:43,664
Likes? Not loves?
1531
01:32:43,697 --> 01:32:45,099
Slow down, Mario Andretti.
1532
01:32:45,132 --> 01:32:48,002
Who carves "likes"
on a tree?
1533
01:32:48,035 --> 01:32:50,037
Check back with me
in a couple of months.
1534
01:32:55,943 --> 01:32:57,978
- So disgusting!
- Really?
1535
01:33:02,716 --> 01:33:04,318
So inappropriate.
1536
01:33:04,351 --> 01:33:06,287
All right, all right.
1537
01:33:07,188 --> 01:33:09,223
I think... Yeah.
1538
01:33:09,256 --> 01:33:11,926
I have one more trick
up my sleeve.
1539
01:33:12,893 --> 01:33:15,162
Abra-cadubra!
1540
01:33:17,064 --> 01:33:19,100
Come here, little rascal.
1541
01:33:21,669 --> 01:33:24,772
A puppy? For me?
1542
01:33:24,805 --> 01:33:27,074
Well, yeah, I don't think I
know the spell to send her back,
1543
01:33:27,108 --> 01:33:28,809
so I guess
you can keep her.
1544
01:33:28,843 --> 01:33:29,977
Really?
1545
01:33:30,010 --> 01:33:31,145
Can we call her Magic?
1546
01:33:31,178 --> 01:33:33,147
- No.
- Max?
1547
01:33:33,180 --> 01:33:34,381
Are you kidding me?
1548
01:33:35,349 --> 01:33:36,984
And you know what?
1549
01:33:37,017 --> 01:33:38,986
I'm not scared
anymore either.
1550
01:37:47,134 --> 01:37:53,907
At Magic Motors,
we make high prices disappear.
1551
01:37:53,941 --> 01:37:57,177
Prices, Max. Prices!
110250
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.