Original subtitles

What's the holdup?

You've been cooking for 15 seconds and dinner's not ready yet?

Give me eight more seconds. I promise you, it will be worth the wait.

Well, take 10. I'm in the mood for dessert.

Delivery for Kent?

What is this? Come on in.

Just put it anywhere.

- There you go. - There you go. Thanks.

Thank you, ma'am.

Honey, who was at the...?

Honey.

Is this your way of telling me we can have a baby?

Open the gates.

Well, I guess this is adi�s, Dr. Mensa.

Hope this early parole doesn't go to your head.

Sorry.

Look, I know we had our share of run-ins while you were inside, but...

...no hard feelings, huh?

You know, you really are a fat-head.

No.

Don't call me Fat Head.

- Yours? This was your bassinet? - Yeah, but I didn't have it sent here.

I haven't spoken to Dr. Klein. Maybe my mom and dad...

When? They've been in Metropolis for a week.

Well, that's them. You can ask them yourself.

- Hi. - Hi. Sorry, we forgot the key.

We haven't kept you from dinner, have we?

No, we've had other things to keep us busy.

- It got here. - So you did send it.

Well, with all this talk of babies in the air, we called home...

...and had our hired hand send it as a surprise.

- If we were being a little... - Presumptuous.

But the idea of a grandchild is just so...

- Exciting. We wanted to help you get... - Started and show you...

- Shortcuts, and pitch in like... - Family, if that's...

- Okay? - Yes.

Of course. I can't imagine a better set of experts...

...than the people that raised my husband.

We did do a good job, huh?

That's why I'm so anxious to hear from Dr. Klein.

The world needs another Clark Kent.

Guard down at the federal penitentiary.

Trouble at the penitentiary.

Who did this?

Apparently no one. The gate came down on its own.

- How is that possible? - We didn't think it was.

The brakes have gotta be taken off. That big lever thrown.

- And no one touched him? - The tower guard saw it happen.

The machinery moved like it had a mind of its own.

I never did like Andy Williams.

Mensa. What are you doing here? I thought you were in prison.

I'm rehabilitated...

...or so they say.

I've repented of my schemes to knock over Fort Knox...

...and the Bank of England and...

...Merv Griffin's beach house.

- Or so they say. - How did you get in here?

- The door was locked. - I thought it open.

I could've thought my way out of prison too...

...but I didn't wanna reveal my secret and ruin my plans.

- What plans? - The plan to take revenge...

...on those who betrayed me.

You told us the goal of Dynomonics was to gather the best...

...and the brightest, develop our mental abilities to the maximum...

...and together achieve greatness. - Precisely.

What you really wanted was to pull off criminal feats...

...no one had done before.

None of you had a problem with it until the cops seized my weapons...

...and my plans and threw me into jail.

That was because we were under your spell.

And not one of my trusted inner circle came to my defense.

Is it my imagination, or is your head bigger?

Did you know the average human uses less than 10 percent of his brain?

I use 98.6 percent of mine.

- Is that why they call you Fat Head? - I hate that name!

I spent five years in solitary, using Dynomonics...

...to develop my brain to the ultimate.

- Why? - Because I knew one day I'd be out.

Ready to start over right where I left off, but this time, alone.

What's going on? What are you doing?

Thinking.

A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

- Thanks for lunch, honey. - Sure.

Now that you've rented lab space here in town, we should do it more often.

Listen, about this reconciliation between you and me...

...and you and Mother, I was just...

Oh, gosh, how do I say this?

- I was just hoping that you won't... - Blow it.

Yeah, me too. Family skills are uncharted waters.

Maybe for all three of us, huh?

Look, I gotta get going. This project could put me on the scientific map.

- Really? - If Vanna White does the infomercial.

Go get them, Daddy.

You know, it doesn't matter how much money you have.

When your time is up, it's up.

- Fortune cookie. - Carter Claven.

Rich, powerful, healthy, dead.

- Fell 30 stories. - Suicide?

Exercycle bike went right out the window with him on it.

- How? - By itself.

- By itself? - The cops said that it was like the bike...

...had a mind of its own or something.

That's what the guard told Superman about the prison gates, isn't it?

Jimmy, see if you can find any other connection...

...between the two deaths, okay? - Got it.

Can we talk? Privately?

I just came back from STAR Labs.

Really?

Well, you could have just called me.

What'd Dr. Klein say?

Oh, you...

You couldn't just call me...

...because the news...

The news isn't good.

Dr. Klein ran every possible test he could.

Poor guy could barely even face me.

But he told me that Superman's biology...

...and an Earth woman's are incompatible for reproduction.

I told myself I'd never make you cry. I'm sorry.

I feel so confused.

I feel like I...

I feel like I lost something I never really had.

We haven't lost anything, honey.

Look, you can't try and make me feel better.

That's what you always do with everything.

It's sweet, but I know how you want kids.

Lois, I want you to hear me, okay?

Really hear me.

Every time...

Every time we make love, we make love.

That's the strongest life force there is.

And whether or not that results in another little person...

Yet for me, it is creation.

Oh, Clark.

You fill me with life.

Caught me.

I came down for a glass of milk and I just...

...sort of noticed this sitting here.

I know.

Clark, you know how I get when I wanna fix something?

Well, first you eat a lot of chocolate...

...while you figure out your next move.

Check.

Then you get that real determined look on your face...

...sort of like you got right now.

And then the seas part.

Listen.

We have come through almost every conceivable disaster...

...usually by inconceivable means.

And if conceiving is what we want...

...I think we're gonna have to be fearless once again.

There's a man, a medical doctor...

...who's practiced his craft over the years...

...on the cutting edge of science.

He's explored some fairly esoteric areas.

In fact, he treated you once.

- He did? - Saved your life.

He saved my...?

Wait a minute, honey.

- Your father? - I know, the scam artist, the dreamer.

There are things he would have to know.

You're right. We'd have to tell him.

We'd have to tell him everything.

- Hello. - Mother.

Oh, hi, baby.

I just got into town and I dropped by this...

...this rat hole that your father's working in to surprise him.

You sound surprised too.

Listen, Mom, it's great to hear your voice.

And it's not that I don't wanna talk to you, but could I speak to Daddy?

Yes, of course, sweetheart.

Don't think for a minute that I'm hurt. Sam.

Your daughter.

- Mother, we'll have lunch. - Ellen, you'll have lunch.

- Yes, please, please. I'm fine, I'm fine. - She's fine.

I know. I heard.

Listen, Daddy, I was wondering if...

...you could come for coffee tomorrow morning.

Sure. What's going on?

I've never met one of Sam's partners before.

Lots of times they were locked up before I could.

This is nice, Mickey.

Misha. Name is Misha.

I didn't visit his lab much when he was doing those crackpot...

...get-rich-quick schemes. So, what are you two working on?

- Breasts-in-a-Bottle. - Excuse me?

Breasts-in-a-Bottle.

Fabulous, full-figured fun in a pill.

So far it works only on mice.

- What is this? - Is called Bummer-Be-Gone.

Eliminates all painful memories from brain.

Really?

Mom likes to sleep in.

Maybe you just shouldn't even bother waking her up.

Actually, why don't you just not mention it to her at all.

Ah, I get it. Delicate issue, right?

Sure, fine. See you.

Mrs. Lane, I beg of you, no. Please.

- Let her rip, doc. - Sam.

God's sake! Careful, that thing hasn't been perfected yet.

- It could be dangerous. - And years of repressed trauma aren't?

Honey, let me take you out to dinner, see what I can do...

...to erase those painful memories.

All right, Sam. You're on.

I think Clark's secret is safe.

My dad will be the only other person who knows. Mother!

I wish you wouldn't sound so shocked when you say that.

I'm such a slug in the morning, but I woke up feeling just glad to be alive.

Maybe because I had such a good time last night.

Daddy, how nice.

Well, Sam, do you wanna maybe go on in the kitchen...

...so that we can ask you about that stuff for the story?

- Right. - I would love to hear about it.

- No, no, no. You don't... - I've got some coffee and some pastries.

It's just a lot of dry, technical stuff. It isn't very interesting at all.

Sorry about your mother, honey. She nabbed me just as I was leaving.

And since I'm trying to rebuild our relationship...

...ditching her seemed to be a bad idea. Are you all right?

Sam, you've done medical research in a lot of different fields, right?

- Yeah. - How about the field of infertility?

Infertility.

You two are trying to...

- Really? That's wonderful. - Well...

...yeah, but see, the thing is...

If you guys are having trouble getting pregnant...

...there are a lot of experts more qualified than me.

Not necessarily. You see, we've got an added challenge.

Daddy, telling you this next thing is...

Well, it's, it's one of the toughest decisions we've ever had to make.

This is something that has to be kept secret, Sam.

Unfortunately, even from Mother.

It's a dangerous secret, and only those that have to know, have to know.

A secret from Mother, that's easy.

Honey?

What you just did there, that's humanly impossible.

Exactly.

Mensa.

Or is it Fat Head now?

Don't call me Fat Head!

No! No! Stop! Please! Help!

You could've been the Commissar of Science in my Dynomonics empire.

Then I would have had to have killed thousands of people...

...blown up thousands of buildings. I could not live with that.

And double-crossing me, you think you can live with that?

No, please. You must listen to what I am saying.

How do you say "So long, loser" in Russki?

If Misha dies, secret dies with him.

Secret? What secret?

Secret of giving you power you always dream of.

With what? Breasts-in-a-Bottle?

Weapon. Secret weapon you once begged me to create.

You did it?

You're telling me you've actually built the gizmo?

Yes. Yes.

Amplifier that will harness Fat Head's superior mental ability...

...multiplied thousand-fold, and make you able to bend anyone...

...or anything to your will.

Well, don't just stand there, you quivering, craven coward. Trot it out!

- Is not perfected yet. - Not perfected?

Little fine tuning. Needs a little fine tuning, then perfected very soon.

You have till tomorrow morning.

And don't even think about running out on me.

I've got eyes and ears everywhere.

And more importantly...

...I got a brain.

Sam. You look like you're in shock.

I'm fine, fine, fine.

All right, if you say so.

It's almost as if you weren't helping them on a story...

...but hearing some earth-shattering news instead.

- That's not it, of course. - No, no, no.

- We should be going. - Yes, we should.

You know, this sounds so ridiculous, but I have this crazy feeling...

...that everybody here knows something I don't.

Mother, what would we know that you don't?

You're right. I'm being silly.

- Are you dying? - No.

Well, that's great!

Martha, don't forget to give me the recipe for the popovers.

- Do you bake? - No, not really.

Well, all right.

Sam, I'll get Superman's files from STAR Labs as soon as I can.

And...

...thank you. - He was a terrible cook.

Sam. Sam, are you coming?

Or do you have some more secret stuff to discuss with Clark?

Oh, my God. In a few hours he's going to be here.

- Sam. Sam. - Not now, Misha.

I'm up to my knees in Shinola here.

This morning I have to deliver a machine that will super-enhance the brain's energy.

I didn't know such a thing existed.

It doesn't.

These figures can't be right.

You've got to help me, Sam.

What the hell are you working on over there?

It's a little project of mine. It's nothing important.

You wouldn't be holding out on me, Sam, would you?

I'm in real trouble. If you've got something there...

...that can help buy me some time...

No, no, no, I don't think so.

Sam, I'm going to have a cup of coffee.

- You want one? - Coffee. Yeah, thanks.

No problem, partner.

Anything for you, partner.

You're going to tell me your secrets, Sam.

All of them.

It's a new dawn. Unsleuthable crimes untraceable to me.

Hey, hey, wait a minute!

Where's the challenge?

Now we rendezvous at my place. Follow that car.

I can't stop. I can't...

- Look out! - Oh, my God!

- Are you all right, sir? - It wasn't me, Superman.

The car just drove itself.

Him.

I heard about him the whole time I was in prison.

Superman.

Okay, this one is pretty strange.

First the guard gets knocked out by his own gun.

Then the armored car takes off, and the driver said it was driving itself.

Like the exercise bike moved by itself, or the prison gate moved by itself...

...just as Klaus Mensa was released.

By the way, I found out that Klaus Mensa started this cult called Dynomonics.

They believed anything can be achieved with advanced mental techniques.

I'm gonna try my father again. I don't know why he's not answering.

- Good morning. - Mother.

- Am I interrupting anything? - No.

Hi, this is Sam Lane. I'm not in right now, so if you'll...

- Calling your father? - No. Yes.

Just to say hi.

He said he couldn't see me last night. He was working.

- He said he was working for you. - He did?

- On that story that you're doing. - Yes, right.

Clark, look. Mother.

Hi, Ellen.

Sam's busy, so I thought maybe I could steal Lois here for lunch.

Well, I'd love to.

Lois, Clark, I forgot to tell you, Ms. Bailey's on her way over here from...

Jimmy.

I just, I can't believe you guys are thinking about...

- It's for a story, Jimmy. - Yeah, here.

Well, looks like I'm not available, I'm sorry.

- How about dinner, tonight? - Yeah, that'll be fine.

Honey, if you were dying, I'd know, wouldn't I?

- Yes. - Before a lot of other people, I mean.

You would be at the top of my death-notification list.

Thank you, sweetheart. You'll see.

It's the little things that count when you're a mom.

Sam, for the last time, what are you working on?

What is this secret project?

I'm... I'm...

Stop it, old fool. We're running out of time.

I'm trying to help my daughter...

I don't know how much more of this you can take.

I'm trying to help my daughter.

She's... married to...

...Superman.

Clark Kent?

I'm not having a good morning.

- Where's my machine? - Not quite perfected yet, unfortunately.

What did you say?

But, I have some information you might like just as much.

Well, well, well.

You know, we almost forgot that we even...

...made this appointment, Miss Bailey.

When we started talking about having kids...

...we thought we'd explore all of our options.

And we didn't know much about the adoption process.

Our task at County Adoption isn't just finding the right child for a parent...

...it's finding the right parent for our children.

I've started a preliminary work-up on the two of you...

...to get an idea of your suitability.

- You have? - It wasn't difficult.

You are, after all, two of our most prominent citizens.

- I don't know if I'd say most prominent. - Don't be modest, Ms. Lane.

Your contributions to this city couldn't possibly be overestimated.

Well, you know, we try.

Which brings me to the problem.

Problem?

Mr. Kent. You are a model of propriety.

You do your job, you make an excellent income, you shun the spotlight.

Out of a possible 100 points, I gave you 97.

Thank you.

- What did I get? - Something lower.

Ms. Lane, on almost a weekly basis you manage to dangle...

...above the jaws of death.

I dangle above the jaws of death?

Like an hors d'oeuvre. Usually in situations so terrifying...

...you require rescue by Superman.

But it's not like she's looking for the jaws of death.

- I can't help it. - That's what I'm talking about.

You may be what we in psychology call...

...a thrill addict. - What?

Someone who places oneself in danger...

...to satisfy some subliminal need.

On the face of it, I'd say you have an obsession with Superman.

I do not.

Nineteen? You gave him a 97 and you gave me a 19?

And that includes five points for being a U.S. citizen.

Ms. Bailey, my wife is a complete professional.

Someone who cares very, very much about this world.

Frankly, she's the best person that I know.

Now, any child who's lucky enough to have Lois as their mother...

...will be the luckiest child alive. - That may be, Mr. Kent...

...and these work-ups are preliminary, but at this point...

...I certainly couldn't recommend placing a child in your home.

Ellen. Hi.

Free for lunch? You may be the only person who is.

Not that you were my last choice.

- You seem a little blue. - I don't know.

Maybe it's just my imagination. I just get the impression that everyone...

Well, not everyone, I mean, just you and Jonathan and Lois...

...and Clark and Sam know something that I don't.

- Oh, Ellen. - I know.

It would just make me feel so much better if you could just say to me:

"Ellen, may God strike me dead if we're keeping something from you. "

Hello. Hi.

No, dear, he's not here.

We haven't been able to get hold of him, either.

Jonathan's gone over to check on him.

Bye.

Well, I'm sure that was none of my business.

Ellen, I think if you could just look at this objectively.

You know, you say that like you're talking to a healthy person.

Martha, I have as much self-esteem as chipped beef.

And it's starting to feel like every single person in the world...

...knows something I don't.

That's just ridiculous.

I know a secret.

- My God, even him. - Come on.

- What do you want? - I want you, ladies.

You're coming with me.

Sam, I don't mean to nag, but do you do any checking...

...on these crackpots before you sign them up as partners?

- I'm not a crackpot. - No, dear, trust me. You are.

Look, I thought I was free of Fat Head years ago.

But now he's caught me between his stupid fat head and a hard place.

He'll kill me if I don't help him.

- Jonathan. - Are you all right?

Shut up.

Well, when it comes to Superman's nearest and dearest...

...I pretty much have myself a complete set.

- What the hell does that mean? - Ellen.

Well, I don't know, I think he's got us confused with somebody else.

Don't play stupid with me, blondie.

We all know what I'm talking about.

- Don't we? - What, even him?

- He got it from him. - Oh, that's wonderful.

Thanks a lot, Sam.

There's a shipment of gold bullion at the New Troy Bank...

...awaiting an escort to Fort Knox.

That gold is ours, Misha.

No one's gonna try to stop us, not even Superman...

...because he knows what will happen if he tries.

Doesn't he?

What?

Honey, she is not the final word on this.

Don't be sad.

I'm not sad, I'm angry. You know, it's discrimination.

What? No people with risky jobs can have kids?

So I guess cops and test pilots and trapeze artists can forget it too.

And what does she think? Does she think that I'm deliberately...

...gonna run around sticking my neck out after I adopt a child?

I mean, how dumb does she think I am?

See, this is why I love you.

- Because I'm crabby? - No, because you never give up.

We'll figure something out.

You know, in the meantime we'll just have a terrific family of two.

Okay, guess which cult Mr. Exercise Bike was involved with?

- Dynomonics. - Yep. Run by Klaus Mensa.

He believed the mind was capable of anything. Spent his life...

...trying to focus the power of his whole brain.

Not just the little that most of us use.

This is really interesting. All right.

This is a picture taken of him before he went to prison. And this...

...was taken after he got out.

In prison he got the nickname Fat Head.

Wonder why, huh?

His head looks like an over-developed muscle.

Clark, that prison guard died after Fat Head was released...

...by a gate closing by itself.

And the exercise bike that killed Carter Clavens...

And the armored truck that Superman stopped.

Have you ever seen Uri Geller do his act?

He focuses his mind on a fork...

And it bends, all by itself.

Telekinesis. I think Klaus Mensa's turned his mind into a deadly weapon.

Full tactical alert...

...repeat, full tactical alert. - What are you hearing?

- New Troy Bank... - I'm not sure.

...235 West Hanover Street. - Something with the New Troy Bank.

Bank robbery's going down. We can't get close.

- How many of them are there? - One.

- Armed with what? - Nothing.

And he did all this?

All right, Mensa, that's enough.

Your powers won't work on me.

Probably true. That's why I got ahold of the people you love the most.

You know who I'm talking about. The big four.

So you so much as look cross-eyed at me and, well, it won't be a pretty death.

You think I'm joking, big boy? Try me.

- Not so sure of yourself now, are you? - Think this through, Misha.

Sitting around in that cult, a crime spree might've sounded kind of fun...

...but this is serious. Those cops are hurt.

Any chance of you rebuilding your life is getting mighty slim.

Shut up, both of you. I don't have a choice.

You doubt I'm holding on to your loved ones...

...I'll let them talk to you, over a frequency only you and I can hear.

He says he's got our parents.

Well, the little wife showed up too. Perfect.

Hi. I'm afraid it's true.

He's got me too.

- He does have them. - Superman. Ellen Lane.

All right, I'll help you. What do we do?

Rainbows follow stormy skies.

Your father just said, "Rainbows follow stormy skies. "

He used to say that when I was a kid.

It means everything's all right.

All right, stop right there.

No closer, pal. That's it.

Okay, I warned you. Gas them.

Hey, didn't you hear that? Man, you are a cold fish.

Lieutenant, I'm gonna take this car...

...and personally drive it back to the penitentiary myself.

Superman, we couldn't hold Fat Head. He's gone.

I'm in big trouble, here. Superman doesn't care that I killed his parents.

The guy's gone berserk. Where's that machine for my brain power?

- It's not ready yet. - I don't care if it's not ready.

Hook me up. The guy will be here any second.

All right, but I'm warning you.

Okay, hit it.

Too late, Superman. I am invincible.

All right, shut it down.

I can't. Something is wrong.

His mental strength is amplifying the power of the machine.

Wait a minute! His parents?

I know what the big secret is!

His head's back to normal, and his powers seem to be gone.

What about the others?

Others? What others?

My God!

You know something? I have no unpleasant memories.

The Bummer-Be-Gone! It works!

Well, my parents are back to normal.

Clueless that their son-in-law moonlights in tights.

I guess knowing I'm Superman...

...brought them nothing but unpleasantness.

So now that memory is gone.

I don't think Mom remembers being mad at Daddy, either.

Apparently not, because I caught them kissing on the terrace.

Clark, I'm sorry.

For what?

I'm sorry that Daddy can't find anything wrong with STAR Lab's data.

He doesn't think we'll be able to have kids.

Honey, I have not, for one second, doubted in us.

We live the impossible.

A child is something brought about by love, isn't it?

Well, then that, above all else, has got to be possible for us.

What? What are you hearing?

I'm not sure.

Well, what does it sound like?

I can't actually believe what it sounds like.

"Lois and Clark, this child belongs to you. "

- Son? Everything all right? - Is everyone okay?

- We saw the lights. - Lois?

Yeah, yeah, everyone, everything is absolutely fine.

Mom and Dad, and...

...Mom and Dad, we have something to tell you.

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