Original subtitles

~ The Dragon River flows day and night ~

~ running through mountains by its banks ~

~ let's sing a song of true love ~

~ of Shaolin boys and Phoenix girls ~

~ KIDS FROM SHAOLIN ~

~ Phoenix family inherits Wudang Sword ~

~ Dragon family is No. 1 in Shaolin Kungfu ~

~ Shaolin and Wudang have been rivals ~

~ for a very long time ~

~ Wudang family has 8 phoenixes (girls) ~

~ Shaolin family has 10 dragons (boys) ~

~ Aaaaah..."Watch this Phoenix" ~

~ Yet Wudang needs a dragon ~

~ to inherit Wudang Sword skill ~

~ The advent of Spring brings new lives ~

~ Phoenix mother is expecting a baby ~

~ Let's pray to the Gods in Heaven ~

~ to bless the Phoenix family with a dragon ~

~ A real...real...dragon boy! ~

Well!

- Congratulations, Master! - Thank you.

Ah Bao...

My mum gave birth again! Heeey!

Ma gave birth again...!

Heeey!

Ma gave birth again...!

Heeeey!

- Hey! What did she have this time? - Big Sis, Ma...

- Hey, is it a boy or a girl? - Big Sis...

- Let's find out. - Okay.

Big Sis, Ma gave birth!

- What did she have? - What did she have?

- Ma... Ma.. - Stop gasping.

- Is it a boy or girl? - It's another phoenix.

- She can play with us! - It's a girl!

Ma had a girl!

Your mum failed again. My dad...ai-ay, oh!

It's not his business!

San Feng, stop! You've gone too far!

Dad said to ignore the Shaolin boys.

So complain to him!

- You act like a dragon. - Tomboy!

Aiy...pull, pull! Harder...

Shaolin can't lose to Wudang!

- Come on! Your master isn't afraid. - Heh, heh.. - Call yourself our master?!

Too bad you lack our little thing...

- Dad said not to fight girls. - We can't lose to Wudang.

- Yeah, c'mon, brothers! - Beat them, sister!

Beat them, sister...!

Brother San Long is here!

Let's help San Long!

- What's that fighting style? - "Shaolin mocks Wudang".

Sister...careful!

- Hey, good! - Don't flatter me.

Hurry and help!

Harder.

It's not "Shaolin mocks Wudang".

It's "Monkey falling out of a tree".

~ Fun, fun, fun! Dragons are having fun! ~

~ flying high, up in the sky ~

~ it looks and talks like a dragon ~

~ but it's never a dragon ~

- What is it? - Well, it's a phoenix!~

~ It's a phoenix! ~

~ by the river, a poor little phoenix cries ~

~ a little phoenix cries! ~

~ seeing chances flying by ~

- Are they singing about you? - Don't listen!

~ poor little thing, you make me laugh ~

~ aiy..aiy..aiy... ~

~ poor little thing! ~

- I'm sure they're singing about you... - Don't sing!

Take this ginseng to Mrs Bao tomorrow to pay our respects.

- She birthed a girl and we... - Hey...she still needs strength.

We need ten cows for one of Bao Seng Feng's girls.

In 10 years, we only saved enough for three cows.

It's impossible!

If we work hard, we'll succeed.

Look, in six months we saved enough for a leg.

Even when we have 10 cows,

how long do I wait to get 10?

- Don't worry, you'll marry Yi Feng! - You...! How will I?

Silly! That's not a cow.

- What did you do? - Ow! Huh?

- I gave it 4 legs. - What do you know?

- What's wrong? - Hurts, hurts! - Come.

- Let's see... - Your bum's funny!

- You've got no sympathy. - A cow has 4 legs!

- There. - It's a tail!

- Practise your kungfu! - Hey, go.

"Student of Goddess of Mercy"

"Buddhas on poles"

"Hovering on clouds"

"Flying over heaven"

"Beauty and the mirror"

- Beauty. - Stop!

- What's that? - "Beauty and mirror".

Mirror? What mirror?

You never learn!

"By the river, a poor phoenix cries..."

What's wrong with girls? Our family needs a phoenix.

I need a dragon as heir, but Mother failed again.

Always a phoenix, always girls!

- You can't blame Ma! - Hm?

Dad, I'm as good as a dragon in Wudang sword style.

Listen. 18 years ago, when you were inside your mum,

- I gave you a boy's name, but... - But what, Dad?

You're just a girl. You'll fly off.

No way. I'm a dragon. I won't marry.

Half dragon, half phoenix... Who'd want you?

- You... - Fly where you want.

But never to the Long family!

They want marriage to steal my Wudang style.

Shaolin kungfu is bullshit!

Wudang sword is unique!

Practise sword skills. Shaolin kungfu is forbidden!

Carry on!

No food for the lazy!

- I'd rather not eat! - Carry on!

- He's a bastard! - Who is?

- I saw you cursing too! - Don't deny it!

- I won't deny it. - That's good!

A real man speaks his mind.

- What, here? - No...

1, 2, 3. Dad's a bastard!

Good. Come here.

- Curse again. - 1, 2, 3. Dad's a bastard!

Dad's coming!

You're tired out. Sleep.

Dad!

Dad!

Dad...!

- What's wrong? - Dad, sorry.

- We were cursing you. - Cursing me?

What curse? What'd you say?

We'll only tell you if you don't get mad.

Go on, curse nice and loud.

- We'll join in. - Yeah. 1, 2, 3...

- Dad's a bastard! - Louder...

Dad's a bastard!

- Dad, you agreed not to get mad. - Dad...

- Dad? I'm not your real dad. - You are our real dad!

If your real fathers had known kungfu...

your families wouldn't have perished.

10 years ago, a gang of bandits went on a rampage in your village.

My brother, Yi Long, and I were heading home.

We immediately gave aid.

- Let me help. - Hero.

Save me!

Save me!

- Brother, are you okay? - I'm fine! Get in!

Kill them!

We must save the children!

Yi Long, hurry! Come on!

Go!

- Big Bro! - Hurry after them.

Kill them!

I wounded him in one eye and got away safely...Those bastards.

I raised you alone for 10 years. It hasn't been easy.

- Do we call you Master or Dad? - Dad, of course!

Dad, of course!

Dad, please sit down.

Our Dad, accept our bows.

You raised us. You're our real dad.

You taught us kungfu. You're a great, great...

- A great father. - A great father. We're grateful.

Good boys, my very good sons.

Dad!

You're the naughty one!

I'm naughty, so punish me!

- Does it hurt? - No, I'm used to it.

I'm too clumsy for delicate jobs.

You really need a mother.

When can I take revenge for my ruined eye?

Boss, our strength can handle the Shaolin brats.

Yeah!

Boss, Phoenix Village is tasty meat waiting to be devoured.

Bao Seng Feng's daughters have slim waists and wide hips!

I'm not blind! But can we handle Shaolin and Wudang?

- Boss. - Speak.

Yes, tell us your strategy.

They're longtime rivals, so get them to kill each other,

- so you get your revenge. - Go on.

Then we overcome Bao and celebrate with his women!

I, Bao Seng Feng, always helped the needy.

I ask only for a son.

Though I have 9 daughters, I give you this offering.

Please bless me with a son.

I beg you for my ancestors.

Put your faith in Buddha.

Master, do I look like a man unable to have a son?

For you to have no son, your feng shui must be wrong.

What can I do?

- Bao claims Wudang is best. - Best?! - He never proved it.

- Shaolin teaches sabre, spear, rod and staff. - Right!

Uncle...

- Why not 'father-in-law'? - Which phoenix are you after?

Can he be an uncle, if he can't have a son?

- You! - Hold back.

- We have business. - Sure. This way.

A happy land for happy men ...a fertile place.

Masculinity flourishes here.

- You should've had many sons. - Go on.

- Hm? What a pity! - What's up?

- Who are those people? - Brother San Long!

- Turtle! - Egg!

You're calling San Long a turtle egg (bastard)?

- No! He can eat this turtle. - My bird's egg, too!

I have little appetite, even for turtle.

- What is it? What do you want? - I want a phoenix.

The masculinity of the 10 dragons on the other river bank...

blocks the free flow of Ying and Yang.

That's why you've been unable to have sons.

Master, I'll do anything to be blessed with a son.

The problem is Shaolin.

If you really want a son, you must get rid of them.

If Tai Feng was our mother,

Dad would be happy, and we'd learn Wudang style.

- Right! - No way!

Dad has 3 cows. Bao Seng Feng wants 10!

The tomboy is Bao's favourite. Maybe she'd put in a good word for us.

But we offended her the other day.

- It's all your fault! - Me? You were there too!

- I'll go and apologise. - Like that?

- You'll fight again. - Act like a gentleman. - Yeah!

Right. I'll dress up, in Dad's wedding outfit.

Let's go.

- Eh? Why's it so big? - He was fat and happy!

Careful! Dad will kill you if you tear it.

There's room for two!

- This is Dad's best outfit. - Too big. - It's awful.

Think you'll impress her?

Don't worry. I'll look elegant.

- Hi. Miss, how are you? - I'm fine.

No, that's no good. She hates being a "Miss"!

- Then, Sister Phoenix? - No!

- Brother Dragon? - She's not a dragon.

- How about Brother Phoenix? - That's it! - Brother Phoenix!

~ Birds are flying in pairs ~

~ Fish are swimming in couples ~

~ Sunset is for young lovers ~

Ta Da! Sorry. Sorry.

Look! It's Uncle.

- If Bao sees Uncle, we're finished. - I thought he scared you?

Always that silly grin... Can you never talk?

For you... for your mother.

- Oh, no. It's the witch! - Don't say that.

Sister. You forgot Dad's words?

- Go home! - Eh? Yi Feng!

No! Keep off!

Can't you scum read?!

NO SHAOLIN BEYOND THIS POINT

- You...you... - Can't speak either?

Damn it!

Your ugly face scares me ... Come on!

Uncle, Dad wants you!

- Uncle! - What?

She's not worth it. Come home.

- San Long, it's your turn. - OK, I'll talk.

Brother Phoenix...

Brother Phoenix.

- How are you? - What's this ape up to?

My parents died when I was small.

I don't know my father's name.

- I know you're crazy! - Please, just...

- What do you want? - Brother.

We live by the same river. We should've mixed long ago.

We offended you, and want to apologise.

Stop! Go home!

My father says Shaolin are nothing but trouble!

Brother Phoenix, don't mistake me...

Mistake? Go or I'll act!

Brother Phoenix...

Watch out!

Brother Phoenix, I'll explain...

Stay back or I'll kill you.

Please let's talk...

- Be careful! Sister, watch out! - I'll watch out!

- Hey! - Be careful! - Watch out! - Go, go, go!

- San Long, show her our kungfu. - Right!

- Come on! - Okay!

Move it!

What bullshit!

Excellent!

Ooh, Sister!

Sister...!

Help. My sister can't swim!

Help sister...

- Put her down here. - Bro Phoenix's not breathing.

- What to do? - What to do? - Kiss of life. - How?

Blow. Blow air into her mouth.

Sister, you mustn't die.

Sister, you can't die.

I'm out of breath. You do it.

Hurry! Blow!

Give me back my sister!

- Hurry, blow...! - Help Sister...

Third Sister...

Sister!

- She's crying... - Women are made of water!

That Wudang sword is something!

If she'd cut a bit higher, you'd have lost your manhood.

She spared you.

So, she has feelings?

- And a nice mouth... - And strong legs!

If we learn Wudang sword and combine it with Shaolin kungfu...

- We'd be invincible! - Uncle's back!

- We have to fix them. - We haven't time!

We said not to fight with women!

If you love fighting, fight each other!

But we're brothers...

Fight!

No! Hit harder or I'll dob you in to your dad!

- Monkey boy, you asked for it! - Hit hard!

The losers must face Dad!

Uncle, tell them to stop.

- You! - Fight who?

- Me! - You're kidding.

Come on!

- Now I'm serious. - Uncle, don't...

Come on!

- Grab that pole! - Very well!

Good!

Stop faking. Get up!

- San Long...? - Brother San Long...

- Brother San Long...? - Fine, he's dead.

- Uncle, you're inhuman! - Yes, inhuman!

Wh-what shall I do?

He's not breathing. Give him air.

- How? - Blow in his mouth.

- Right, blow! - Hurry, blow!

Kid, you're dead!

Brother San...

- We did it to help you and Dad! - We did it for you!

Fine, we've no chance now.

Uncle, don't give up.

We'll get wives for you two, and sword style for us all!

Yes, for us all!

Fifth Daughter likes kungfu. We'll teach her.

We'll impress Pao, then suggest Dad's marriage.

Great!

The martial arts contest between Shaolin and Wudang will begin.

Good...!

- Loser calls the winner "Master". - Let's see who's best!

- Who challenges me? - What stance is that?

- Water-snake. Use Eel. - No! You need Duck.

Right! Go!

Come on!

You lost. Call me Master!

Teacher.

- Idiot! - It was a poisonous snake, not a water snake.

They're arguing!!

Don't crow too soon. You're a snake, but I'm a cat!

You're skinny, like a sick cat!

- You have a go! - Fight...

- Me... - Scared! Bow to your Master.

Why are you scared? Squeeze him to death! Fight!

Quick! Show your moves.

She's about to wet herself!

- What now? - I'm scared, my stomach hurts...

Useless!

I can do that.

I win!

You play dirty!

I just play to win.

- Bow and call him Master! - I haven't lost yet.

Stop!

- What's going on? - Mind your own business! Come on.

What's all this? Go and find out.

- What are they doing? - What a silly way to pee.

- Have you finished yet? - Soon.

- Have you finished? - Nearly.

I'm here to apologise, not to fight.

Wudang Sword is unique.

If you hadn't spared me, I'd be a eunuch now.

You want to steal Wudang style?

Don't say "steal". I want to learn it.

You defeated me on the bridge.

- This time I'll win. - You think so?

Maybe not! Each style has virtues

and also weak points. If we combine them, we can improve them.

Your mumbling makes sense.

- I'll show you my style first. - Okay, go ahead.

Fine.

Watch this!

- What do you think? - It's nothing special. Go home!

- You... - I didn't kick you in the river.

Get off our land!

- You... - If I see you again, I'll kill you!

San Long... You've been tricked.

I was tricked, but she's hooked. I can tell our kungfu intrigues her.

- Maybe she likes you. - There's still hope for Dad's marriage.

- Great! - Who's there? Come out!

- Third Sister. - Why aren't you at home?

So we can't learn kungfu, but you can in secret?

- Come on! Let's go and tell Dad. - Hold it! Wait!

So you like to play with that Monkey Boy?

- No, I like Big Head! - I like Tong.

- I like Monkey Boy. - I like Qi Long and Staff Style.

- Fine, you can play with them. - Sister, you're so kind.

Will you tell Father?

No! Let's have fun with the boys!

Don't you see? I need a son as my Wudang heir.

I've done my best! My womb has never rested.

10 cows for a daughter. You haven't even a cow shed!

- Wife, I know you tried hard... - Don't touch me!

Think of your daughter.

Why can't Tian Long be a son-in-law?

But he's Shaolin, I'm Wudang! Our family needs an heir.

You tried 9 times. How about a last try?

You should be ashamed at your age!

Never mind! I call it a sign of health and happiness.

If I agree, will you let Tai Feng marry?

Of course...but it must be a dragon.

- Bao, feel... - Is it 3 months now?

2 months and so big! May Buddha bless us...

Buddha, bless the Bao family with a dragon.

A dragon for them, a phoenix for us.

- We'll have a mum! - Yeah, at last.

Buddha, bless us.

Congratulations, Madam, it's a girl!

Ma gave birth again!

Ma gave birth again!

- Heeey! Ma gave birth again! - What did she have?

Is it boy or girl?

Ma gave birth!

- Hey, is it a boy or a girl? - Same as usual.

No! It's not the same! It's different.

What's she mean?

- Different in what way? - I'm not sure...

- Does it have a "little bird" like us? - Yes, that's it!

- At last, a dragon! - Come on, let's tell dad the good news!

- It's a boy! - But I saw Dad's grimace.

No! After you left, Dad's face did this.

Finally, I got a boy!

- Bao, wash the baby girl too. - What? You do it.

I'll dress you up, to thank the gods.

I interrupted the dragon spirit, and you have a son.

Sister, look!

Mum, look who's here.

- They're really happy for us. - So it seems.

Don't trust them. They're after something.

Great!

What's great? Challenge them!

- Are you okay? - I can't make it!

Hold on! We can't lose!

- San Feng! - Sister.

Get up! Hurry!

- Sister, I can't make it. - You make me mad!

Behave...

Get away!

Behave yourself. Let's team up and give them a good show.

- Dad, he's molesting her. - Don't look.

Bao, how dare they do this!

We must stop this immoral display!

Shush. Don't be afraid.

SENG FENG'S A PIG...

...PIG-TAILED FATHER

...OF A GLORIOUS BOY

They're such nice boys.

- Auntie. - This is for you.

Thank you, Auntie. Dad sends his regards.

Thank you... See how considerate they are.

Dizzy?

- Sister, I'm fine now. - Challenge!

It's silk pills!

- It's Yi Long's own recipe. - So big! How to swallow it?

Silly lass, big dose, big effect.

Tian Long said, after childbirth, to rebuild your strength.

He's a good, kind man, unlike your father.

Mum... Yi Long said they have 4 cows.

- Ask him to speak to Father. - But Dad...

- Dad wants 10 cows! - When can they marry?

Now Dad has a son, he'll agree. Tell Yi Long to visit.

Quickly! Go. Go fast.

Quickly! Fast.

Go!

Uncle.

- Why are you here? - Tian Long. Welcome.

- We have the cows. - Skinny ones...

Never mind, come in.

- Tai Feng, Yi Feng, serve tea. - Mum wants you.

Talk with your future father-in-law.

Uncle.

Uncle, it's about Tai Feng and Yi Feng's marriages.

4 skinny cows for my daughters is an unfair deal.

What? You promised if I gave you a dragon...

- It's too cheap. - You...

Mr Bao!

- Mr Mau, good to see you. - I'm here on business. Ah Au!

- Father-in-law! - Wait! You're not my son-in-law.

Oh, he will be. I have 10 strong cows outside.

Well... please be seated.

Mr Mau, TaiFeng and your son make a good couple.

Tai Feng will be my mum. You dare!

I don't! Dad, not her!

Ah Au is 20 this August, and Tai Feng...

How about Yi Feng? She isn't 20.

- How dare you steal my girl! - I won't dare!

- Father-in-law, I want to marry her. - It's me you want?

Ask my friend's permission.

- Mr Bao, that... - Surely he'd fight?

- If you lose, you marry him. - Yes, Dad.

I'm fighting a mere girl. I'll let you start.

- A hungry dog eats shit. - I slipped.

- Teacher, what to do? - He can't even help himself.

Thanks for the tip.

Ah Au!

Again Wudang beats Shaolin. Ah Au uses the wrong style.

- I'm just not good enough. - Then practise for a decade.

- By then, you'll be too old. - She's no good.

- You want a gentle girl. Come! - Give me the staff. Hah!

- What do you want? - I want her.

- Not you, I want her! - Yi Long, don't!

You want her hand? Okay!

But we have rules. 10 cows for Tai Feng.

Good kungfu for San Feng. And Yi Feng...

- Anything! - Can you sing?

- Sing...? - She's a song bird.

Her husband must sing well.

- You... - He can't talk or sing!

- You want to put us off? - What if I do?

I'll marry her!

- Come on! - San Long! Hold it! Enough.

Farewell! This way.

Tian Long, Tian Long!

- Master? - Those boys are with your girls.

I'm over here!

"By the riverside there lived a goat, an elephant and a monkey."

It's a monkey!

- Here, here. Tie it tightly. - No peeking!

"A blind man and his wife fell into the water."

Go for it! I'll get you!

Hey, got you!

Ding, dong, ding, dong, ding, dong. Dong!

Come on...

Tubby Feng is behind you. Get her.

Come on...

- Got one! - You gotta guess!

- Who's this? - You gotta guess!

- It's Wu Feng. - Wrong! I'm here.

You see!

You were wrong!

Don't hit me like that!

I'll kill you if you cross the river again.

You get a gut ache if you have to practise Wudang

but you let them fondle you!

Bottoms in the air! Quickly!

All these years, I never had to punish you properly.

It's shameful! You cheap little punks never learn.

- Does it hurt much? - No.

Dad isn't strong.

- Don't worry, you won't feel a thing. - Higher!

Tell them how it feels?

Sore, burning, painful!

Do you deserve it?

- No! - So, excuses now!

Dad, they were trying to help so you can marry Tai Feng.

I know, but you can't force that.

We managed well without a mum for 10 years.

All Shaolin masters went without women.

We'll also give them up.

Amituofo (praise Buddha).

No meat or wine for this Buddhist.

A bald head glows in the dark!

No need to wash or comb, easy to care for!

Monkey head, monkey brains, like a baby's bottom!

He's a bald-headed thief!

"A monk must renounce the world of desire."

- Do you still have desires? - I gave them up...

I won't go bald!

I won't be a monk.

- Yi Long! - I'll marry Yi Feng!

You're stupid!

Bao won't allow it, so why get angry?

- Give it up. - I refuse!

- I won't betray my woman, like you! - You... how dare you?!

- Don't be rude to Dad. - We'll beat you!

Don't call me Uncle!

- Dad! - Dad, Uncle is...

He always loses his temper but only runs to the cave.

Uncle...!

Monks have no family. Don't call me Uncle!

He's so stubborn! How's Yi Feng like him?

You're stubborn yet don't know what to do?

- Meaning what? - Uncle, look!

- What is it? - You tell me.

A circle and a girl.

- What's she doing? - Dancing.

- It's the moon and the fairy. - Don't you get it, stupid?

You're the dumbest!

- So I'm stupid. - Yi Feng loves your dumbness!

What next?

- Who is it? - It's me.

- Who are you? - Your new maid.

When I practise, no-one may enter. Go!

Yes, master.

- Who is it? - The maid.

You're...

Uncle wants to elope.

Hurry, before it's too late!

Sister! Where are you going so late?

Sister, I beg you, let me go.

No! You're going to elope. It's forbidden!

Bao ruined one sister's life. Will you do the same?

Will you obey him and marry someone you don't love?!

Get going, both of you!

Sister! Thank you.

The sinners are escaping. Don't let them get away!

Hurry and go!

You used to have a mean look

but tonight you look lovely.

- Don't flatter me. - Hurry! - There they are!

- Go now! - We both love our families.

- We'll share the same fate. - Share it? You with me? No way!

- Go now! You got me in trouble. - I'll repay you one day.

- Hurry...! - Hold it...!

- You! See what you've done! - We must punish her. - Yes!

Brother San Long! See!

- Hurry, move along. - Quickly!

- She isn't a woman made of water. - What's she made of?

- Spirit. - Yes. - That's true.

Righteous spirit.

On your knees!

You're the village leader; your daughter acted immorally.

You must punish her according to custom.

I am a righteous man. I submit to village law.

She let the sinning couple escape.

The punishment is drowning.

San Feng, my daughter!

Give me back my daughter! My very own daughter.

It's the law. If she's alive after the incense burns down,

she'll be released. Proceed!

- Begin! - Sir, it's time!

- Bao Seng Feng's inhuman! - Bao Seng Feng's unfeeling!

- San Feng is innocent! - San Feng is innocent!

This is inhuman!

FREE SAN FENG

Bao Seng Feng's inhuman!

He has no feelings!

- You came! Kid, do you want to die?! - Let her go! I'm responsible.

Because of you, Yi Feng left and San Feng is lying here!

- Why did you come? - We'll share the same fate.

Fine. You'll get your wish.

We're ready.

See you.

- I'll see you in the Sea Palace. - San Long!

San Feng is innocent!

- This is inhuman! - This is unfeeling!

Bring him up!

- My daughter! - Third sister!

Wait! Tie it...

My daughter, San Feng!

- Third sister... - San Feng! San Feng!

Come help, girls!

- Pao Seng Feng isn't human. - San Feng is innocent!

- San Feng! You mustn't die! - Sister!

- San Feng...! - Sister...

San Feng! She's dead! Give back my child!

Save my child, do it!

- Third Bro. Dad's here... - Dad.

Chicken soup with ginseng is a tonic for women.

You don't mind I saved San Feng?

You mustn't drink this. It's too strong for men.

We know, Dad.

Chicken soup with ginseng. Drink it hot.

You try some.

Dad says it's good for women, but too strong for men.

- Thank you for saving my life. - I said we'd share the same fate.

I believed my dad when he said you were bad people.

- I was prejudiced against you. - But not now?

You don't look like such a bad guy.

- I cheated over the kungfu. - I planned to teach you.

But I teased you and threw you in the river.

I slashed your trousers.

- You want to learn Wudang sword? - Show me now.

So you planned this too.

San Feng is still alive! San Long hid her in a cave.

Fine!

San Feng. San Feng.

- Alright. You seduced my daughter. - I just wanted to save her life!

- San Feng, come with me! - No. I can't let him harm you.

Nonsense, she's my daughter! It's not your business.

- A monster doesn't deserve children. - Damn you!

- Who taught you that style? - Dad, it was me.

You gave away our sword skill. You're shameless!

Here I come!

- Don't go, he'll kill you! - Kid, you're first on my list!

Dad, watch out!

San Long, take care!

- I'll teach you, you old... - San Long!

Don't move!

- Dad... - Get off!

- Beg forgiveness! - I won't forgive. Come!

No! Hold it!

- San Long! - Dad, San Feng will be killed!

San Long! It's between me and him. Dad, I'll go with you.

Go!

You taught us to be righteous. San Feng will die and you...

- Have you finished? - You let Bao walk over you!

You're weak. You're pathetic...

Tai Feng waited years because you're gutless. Now, San Feng...

- Let's go home. - Dad.

I love Tai Feng, but I love you more.

- Dad can't sleep. - He has no company at night.

- So sad. - So sad.

- No-one sleeps with me either. - Don't be an idiot.

You idiot.

In two days, it's his birthday. Let's have a surprise party!

Let's make it good.

Fine, fine. What's good...

A man of his age needs nourishing food.

His hair has fallen out.

- It's because of us. - Sure is.

We'll have a real feast, with snake, wild cat and chicken!

Good, good.

- I'll catch wild cats. - We'll get wild chicken!

- And me? - Snakes, of course.

I hate snakes!

You! I can't wait any longer! When do we take action?

- If I don't have a woman soon, I'll explode! - For sure.

- We must be patient. - We can't stand it!

Boss, I know Bao very well.

If we abduct Bao's boy, the Shaolin kids will all die!

Fish!

Snake!

It hurts.

- It bit me. I'm dying. - Stop crying.

- Come on. - I can't.

- Five more steps and I'm dead! - Come on!

- Save me!- Go! - Save me!

- You moved ten paces. - I'm still alive!

It's a water-snake, silly. Its fangs carry no poison.

You're so clever!

He looks so strange.

- Who is he? - He's an Indian snake charmer.

Is he?

Why's he going to the cave?

His sack might have snakes! Come on!

It's moving...

Bao's kid?

You're dead!

Yi Long, come on, quickly!

Brother!

Yi Long, come quickly! Hurry.

Hurry, take him.

I said to look after your brother and you went to the toilet!

- Do I need a timetable to pee? - You, why you...

- I couldn't wait. - I should strangle you!

- What did we do to deserve this? - Leave me be!

No! Rewrite it. Not just 10 cows.

Offer my land and daughters for my son's return.

Master, why's Buddha punish me like this?

It's your son's fate to be menaced by evil people.

- Who'd dare that? - Old Master!

- Young Master is home. - Young Master is home.

My baby boy!

Son! Baby boy.

Baby boy!

Why have you got my son?

- The kidnapper was in the cave. We saved the baby. - We did.

How fortunate. Tell me what reward you want!

To help the needy is the duty of Shaolin monks.

- Fine. You want nothing? - Eh? - Yes, we do!

- It's our chance. Look. - "A reward of cows, gold and girls."

Dad has been so lonely. And Uncle Yi...

Sure. Take it.

As you insist. Keep the cows and gold, but we want Tai Feng and Yi Feng.

- And... - And? What else!

- And Wudang sword skills! - Hm! You're dreaming!

- As I suspected, it's dirty tricks. - You!

You dare trick me!

Sir, you let them stay and they repaid you with evil.

So it's you.

Quit it! Begone!

If you don't kick them out, Buddha will be mad.

Out! Tell your dad to leave my land. I never want to see any of you again!

- We'll go forever. C'mon! - Come on.

Happy journey.

Cross-eyes, don't think you're smart.

- Sister, they're leaving. - Yi Feng's going.

Let's have fun with Bao's daughters!

Then we'll handle those Shaolin kids!

Hurry back inside!

Once we kill the old man, all this is ours. Kill him!

Bao, help Tai Feng!

Bao!

Dad!

Bao, be careful!

Oh no! Bao!

Get out now!

Bao, I'm going.

Bao!

Bao, take care!

- Chain-mail armour... - A surprise for you!

- How do you know Wudang sword? - Don't you recognise me?

So it's you!

Wudang sword is mighty, but you're too old.

Why are you back here?

Shaolin and Wudang work together against scum!

Pretty! You'll be my concubine.

- You! - I hoped you'd changed

but you're still evil.

Watch out!

Big Bro, take care of Sister. This bastard's mine!

- He's got an iron neck! - Never mind that. Watch this!

Bring it on!

We've got him!

San Long!

"Moon in the sea"!

Throw him in! 1, 2, 3...

- San Long, we... - Eh? What? - We've won the battle!

Tian Long, you saved my family. How can I repay you? I...

Uncle.

- Let Dad marry Tai Feng. - Don't forget Uncle!

Oh, well, just give me those four cows...

Hurray! Dad has a wife and we have a mom!

Your adopted sons will make wonderful husbands one day!

Auntie. We have no more cows.

- How about an egg for each girl? - It's a deal!

Husband and wife, bow.

Bow to Mother and Father.

Father, Mother, accept your sons' respect.

First bow.

- Second bow. - Good.

- Third bow. - Good, good...

- It's a happy day. Let them laugh. - Go ahead.