All language subtitles for Its a Great Feeling

♪ It's a great feeling ♪

♪ To suddenly find ♪

♪ The clouds are silver-lined ♪

♪ When the sun breaks through ♪

♪ It's a great ♪

♪ Great ♪
♪ Feeling ♪

♪ To walk down the street ♪

♪ See the folks you meet ♪

♪ Smiling back at you ♪

♪ As long as I've got
someone to embrace ♪

♪ As far as I'm concerned ♪

♪ The world is such
a lovely place ♪

♪ It's a great ♪

♪ Great ♪
♪ Feeling ♪

♪ Your credit is nil ♪

♪ You'll never make a mil ♪

♪ Nonetheless I say ♪

♪ If you're in love ♪

♪ You're feeling great ♪

♪ If you're in love ♪

♪ You're feeling great! ♪

Just a few miles from Hollywood
is the largest studio in the world:

The home of
Warner brothers pictures.

This is the entrance to a world
of glamour and enchantment.

Through these portals

pass the most beautiful
trucks in the world,

bringing to the studio
the many different things

necessary to produce a picture:

Equipment, costumes--

Everything, in fact, from
an airplane to a hairpin.

It's just an average day in the
studio for most of our people,

but it seems to be a special
event for the director.

Mr. Trent's on the phone, Raoul.

Oh, Arthur.

You're my favorite producer,

and I'd do anything
in the world for you

except that!

All right.
Let's finish this clambake.

Yes. This is King Vidor.
Put him on.

Have you made up your mind, king?

I've made up my mind, Arthur.
Get yourself another boy.

I'm a director, not a butcher.

-Oh, Mr. Curtiz.
-Yes?

Mr. Trent is on the phone again.

Tell him stop calling me.

- My third no is final!
- Yes, sir.

Yes, Mr. Trent.
I'll take care of it.

And, uh, David Butler
is here to see you.

You're in, Mr. Butler.

Thanks, honey.

Come in, David.

I have great news for you.

Arthur.

Dave, I want you to know
that Curtiz, Walsh, and Vidor

have been calling me all morning,

fighting to do this new
picture I'm producing,

but I'm saving it just for you.

Well, thanks.

You're going to direct
mademoiselle Fifi,

starring Dennis Morgan.

Great.

And Jack Carson.

It's been nice knowing you.

Yes, sir?

Have you talked any director into
doing the Morgan-Carson picture?

No, sir.

It seems there's only
one man in the studio

who'll direct a picture
with Jack Carson in it.

We have to start shooting by Friday.

Whoever it is, get him.

But just a minute--

Get him!

Yes, sir.

Warner brothers started
talking pictures.

Now it looks like they're
gonna finish 'em, too.

I won't let them do it to me.

You know what it'd be like with
that guy in charge of a picture?

Yep.

I love Carson. He's a wonderful guy,
but he's such a big ham.

With him in front of the camera
and behind the camera,

where would I wind up?

Yep.

He'll give himself every
love scene with the girl,

every good line, every close-up.

The only thing the audience'll
see of me is the back of my head.

Of course, that's better
than the front of Carson's,

but at least I'd like
my own mother to recognize me.

Yep.

What am I knocking myself out
about a picture for anyway?

I always wanted
to go to Broadway,

the theater, the thrill
of an opening night.

Doesn't it make the blood
pound in your veins?

Yep.

Well, thanks, Coop.

You've been a big help.

I have?

Yep.

Say the studio isn't really serious
about letting Carson direct a picture.

Serious?
They're mad about it.

I can understand that.

Jealous.

Well, well, well.
Jack Curtiz in person.

That's the trouble
with you actors, Ronnie:

No appreciation
for what we directors do

to make you look good.

Oh, Morgan would love
to hear you say that.

Don't think it's gonna be an
easy job directing Dennis.

I love him.
He's a wonderful guy,

but he's such a big ham.

What makes you think
you'll have trouble with him?

Oh, you know how Morgan is.

He's always trying to
get his face in the camera.

I may have to turn him
around a little.

Uh, so you can get
your face in the camera.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, now let me
get this straight.

- You love Dennis.
- That's right.

- He's a wonderful fella.
- One of the best.

Uh-huh, but he's such a big ham.

The biggest ham in Hollywood.

- Good luck.
- Thanks.

How are you, genius?

Hello.

He--

Oh, hello, Dennis.

I was just saying
some nice things about you.

I know.
I saw the razor.

Hey, wait a minute.
You didn't finish my nails yet.

You got teeth, haven't you?

Hello, Mr. Morgan.

Hello, Agnes.

A New York haircut,
nice and short.

Hey. Hey, wait a minute,
Dennis, not too short.

Don't forget, we're gonna
do mademoiselle Fifi,

about the gay nineties.

You and me, we need some of
that fluff around our necks.

-Very short.
-Yes, sir.

Dennis, as your director,
I insist you look the part

or else we'll get you a wig.

Fine.
While you're at it,

get somebody to
stand under it, too.

Wait a minute.

Dennis, you can't
quit the picture now.

-You can't do this to me.
-Why not?

Because if you're not in it,
they'll cancel the whole thing.

Don't be silly, Jack.

You're gonna be the director.
You're gonna be the star.

You're gonna see the picture.
It's a round Robin. You can't miss.

Yeah, but-- just a minute,
please, huh?

Yes, sir.

Look, Dennis.
I may as well be frank.

I'm broke.
I need the money.

I'm building a house.
I just bought a car.

I got to make
this picture right now.

Money isn't everything.

All money brings you is unhappiness.

Yeah. Well, I got to get a hunk
of that misery every week

or else the sheriff will get me.

I'd like to help you, Jack,

but I've got a deal
for a New York show.

A producer's in town
today from New York.

I'm running through some
of the numbers for him.

Great score, too.

Why don't you, uh,

drop over to the recording stage
later and eat your heart out?

Pretty soon, that's all
I'll have left to eat.

I'm not a bit moved.

Tomorrow I'll be on
the train heading east.

Yeah? Well, look for me.
I'll be on the track...

Stretched across it.

Naw.

I can't do it.
I need the money.

♪ I'm no music critic ♪

♪ Still I know the songs I like ♪

♪ And this bebop has got to stop ♪

♪ It's time to call a strike ♪

You're making a big mistake.

His voice will never
get over in New York.

♪ So if there's anything ♪

♪ That you can do ♪

♪ About it ♪

♪ Give me a song
with a beautiful melody ♪

He gets so far off-key,
he needs a compass to get back.

♪ Play it with strings ♪

♪ Till it sings in my memory ♪

You need a trained voice
for your show.

His isn't even housebroken.

♪ If it takes you
way back to the past ♪

♪ It's the kind of a song
that will last ♪

♪ And if the words to the tune ♪

♪ Seem to say
what you're thinking of ♪

♪ Just sing the words to the girl ♪

♪ And she'll fall in love ♪

His really isn't such a bad voice.
It's just a little delinquent.

♪ And when you're
holding her tight ♪

♪ You'll find
I'm as right as can be ♪

♪ She'll be glad that she fell ♪

♪ To a beautiful melody ♪

That's right, you phony tenor,
trample it to death.

♪ And when you're
holding her tight ♪

♪ You'll find I'm as right ♪

♪ As can be ♪

♪ She'll be glad that she fell ♪

♪ 'Cause she's under the spell ♪

♪ Of a beautiful melody ♪

You can't take him to
New York after that, can you?

I should say not.

I didn't think so.

I can't even take
my wife to Pasadena.

I'm the janitor.

Congratulations, Mr. Morgan.

You were great, and we'll
sign the contract tomorrow.

Thank you very much.

And when you hit
New York with that song,

it'll sweep the country.

Well, thank you, sir.
Thank you.

Grace.

Here. Take this to Jack
Carson's dressing room.

Oh, no.
I'm too young to die.

Please, grace. Let me
take Mr. Carson's lunch.

Are you serious?

I've been in Hollywood 3 months,

and I haven't had a chance yet
to audition for a real director.

I got news for you.
You're not getting one now.

Thanks.

If you're not back in half an hour,
I'll send out a searching party.

Oops.

What's the rush, young lady?

I'm sorry, Mr. Greenstreet.

I was running to
Jack Carson's dressing room.

That's a switch.

They're usually running
when they come out.

Who's there?

Lunch.

Come in, lunch.

But you can't stop building now.

There's only one wall
in the bathroom.

Look, I'll get the money.

I'll--I'll--

You want to buy half a house,
combination sun deck and bathroom?

Look, uh, any time you're ready.

Unless you want me
to eat out of your hand.

Oh, I'm sorry.

- This is a delicious lunch.
- I wish it wasn't.

I better not get used to eating.

- Pot cheese and Sauerkraut.
- Ugh.

- It's good for what ails you.
- If it isn't, it'll give it to you.

Hey.

You're new here, aren't you?

Why, I've only been at
Warner brothers a little while,

but I've been in Hollywood
3 months, 4 days, and 22 hours.

Native, huh?

It's so different from the
little town I come from.

You've probably
never even heard of it.

Gerky's corners, Wisconsin.

I never--I never heard--

I come from Milwaukee.
That's only 14 miles from there.

Oh.

I'll never forget
one Saturday night

in gerky's corners,
I had the most wonderful--

What am I doing?
I'm supposed to be depressed.

Well, I can't understand why.

You're a director and a famous actor.

Oh, I know if I ever get
the chance to sing and act,

I'll be the happiest girl
in the whole world.

Nobody's happy in Hollywood.

You get knifed in the back
by your best friend.

Well, I know if I ever get
the chance to sing and act,

I'll be the happiest girl
in the whole world.

Uh-oh. I feel an audition coming on.

Look, bright eyes.

Would you mind leaving?

I'm not in the mood right now.

How long did you say
you've been in Hollywood?

3 months.

You must've studied nights.

I've been in every casting
office in this town,

and they won't even look at me.

This is the first chance

I've had to be alone with a director
and show him what I can do.

And you're gonna listen.

Oh, listen.

"All right, Peter.

"Maybe I am nothing to you,

"a tramp you picked up
in Lester square

"to throw away like an old shoe.

"But remember this,

I am a woman!"

Yeah. Well, that--that's
great, kid, honest,

but you're barking up
the wrong director.

You see, I won't have a job
myself unless I figure out

some way to keep
Dennis Morgan off that train

and get him to sign
for the picture.

No. No.
Don't leave us.

- What?
- I'm not thinking of myself.

I know I'm dirt under your feet,

but what about the baby?
What?

-Your baby.
-My baby?

I don't even know her.

Even the lowest creature
crawling on this earth

couldn't desert
an innocent child.

Hey.

Wait a minute.
Come here, kid.

The lowest creature
crawling on this earth,

that's him.
I mean, that's it.

Hey, you got something.
What's your name?

Judy Adams, but if you
don't like it, I can change it.

How'd you like to play
a little scene for me?

Oh, Mr. Carson.
You made me

the happiest girl
in the whole world.

Wait a minute.

Get me the wardrobe, quick.

You do me this favor,

I'll give you a part
in my new picture.

- Now.
- Oh, Mr. Carson!

Ahem.

Yes?

My husband must never know.

Don't worry.
I'll be the last one to tell him.

Really. If he knew I came here,

there's no telling
what he would do.

Oh. That clears up everything.

- It's been nice seeing you.
- But you don't understand.

I am Mrs. Jack Carson.

Mrs. Jack Carson?

Wait over there.

Go ahead.
This is very interesting.

Jack and I were
childhood sweethearts.

And last year when he
came back to Wisconsin,

he swept me off my feet.

We were married in my home town,
Gerky's corners.

Jack said we had
to keep it a secret.

It would hurt his career.

Yeah, with other girls, the snake.

But we can't keep it
a secret any longer.

You see, I'm going to have a...

No.

Yes.

A baby.

He doesn't deserve it.

And you shouldn't be standing.

Sit down and rest.

- Here. Take this.
- Thank you.

When I phoned Jack last month

and told him he was going
to become a mother--

I mean, a father,
his whole attitude changed.

He became tender
and kind, considerate.

It's hard to believe
he's really human.

And then he sent for me
to come to Hollywood,

started building a house
with a little pink and blue nursery,

ran himself into debt.

And now the picture's been canceled.

There's nothing left for me to do
but go back to gerky's corners.

Oh, you poor kid.

Whoa.

You know, when he told me
he needed money and everything,

I thought he was just kidding.

Well, it may be
my death warrant, but...

I'll sign the contract
for the picture.

It's a good thing it's still here.

I'll see that you get that house and
that little pink and blue nursery,

even though Jack will probably
grab the room all for himself

and make the kid
sleep in the basement.

Here.

Oh, thanks.

Go ahead.
Go on. Go on.

This is Dennis.

I have something
for the front office.

Will you send a studio
messenger over right away?

Sorry I'm late.

Thank you.

It's getting late.

I better get these dishes
back to the commissary.

Yes. I guess you'd better.

Hey. Nice going, kid.
You were great.

Look, here's 5 bucks.

Load up on pot cheese
and Sauerkraut.

You'll have to load up on plasma
when I get through with you.

But, Dennis!

Wait a minute.
I don't want this.

You promised I’d
be in your picture.

Mrs. Jack Carson.

How stupid can a guy get?

- The wife and baby gag.
- Yeah, but, Dennis,

you ought to thank her.

She gave you a chance
to be directed by Carson.

Direct? You couldn't even teach
Lassie how to act like a dog.

Oh, I don't know about that.

Where I come from a promise
is a promise, Mr. Carson.

Pink and blue nursery,
that's where I ought to be,

with a rattle in each hand.

I was so anxious
to be in your picture,

I was even willing to help
you double-cross Mr. Morgan.

Yeah. Believe me, Dennis.

I'll see to it that
you're as good in this

as Jane Wyman was
in Johnny Belinda.

She didn't even talk in that one.

Well, you can't have everything.

Now, you listen to me.

I've worked hard for this chance,

and you think you can
brush me off with $5.00.

I'm sorry I fooled you,
Mr. Morgan,

but I don't think
very much of you

refusing to help
your best friend.

I'm taking the next train
back to gerky's corners.

What's with her?

What's she so upset about?

What'd you promise her
to get her to do this?

You know, a part in the picture,
the usual malarkey.

Did you ever stop to think
that maybe she believed you?

Oh, how could she?

Everybody knows I'm a liar.

Maybe word hasn't reached
gerky's corners yet.

Made me look like a heel, too.

Yeah.

That kid sounded like her
heart was broken.

Oh, well. I can't worry about
every girl whose heart I break.

I'd be staying up nights.

- Yeah. She'll get over it.
- Yeah. Sure.

Hey. Maybe that's her or she.

Not that I care. Ha.

- It can't be her.
- She said she was gonna

take the next train
back to gerky's corners.

Hello.

Oh. Hello, Arthur.

Hello, Jack.
Jane Wyman is here.

I just told her she was going to play
the title role in mademoiselle Fifi

and that you were going
to direct her personally.

It came as a bit
of a surprise to her.

No. No.

That would be impossible.

Here, mommy.
Take this.

Oh, thank you, Maureen.

Not without a complete rest.

Uh, suddenly called out of town, huh?

Well, I'll, uh, I'll get
another leading lady.

I just talked to the boss.

If you don't get one by Friday,
you'll be out of a job.

Uh, OK. By Friday.

Why don't you put on a girdle
and play the part yourself?

I'm going up to the front office.

Maybe you can play my part, too.

Look, Dennis.

Dennis, you got to help me
find a leading lady.

Look, we're pals, buddies.

When you first came to Hollywood

down on your luck, broke,
didn't have what to eat,

who gave you your first square meal?

Salvation army.

- Well, who phoned 'em?
- Who gave you the nickel?

It was a slug.

Look, Dennis.

You know Alexis Smith, don't you?

Yeah!

Well, couldn't you just talk to her?

No.

Dennis!

But, Dennis, wait a minute!

What about Eleanor Parker?

Jack, we might as well face it.

You're a wonderful guy,
and I love you, but...

You're such a big ham.

Yeah. I know what
you're talking about.

No leading lady in Hollywood's
gonna trust her career to you.

What?

You're gonna have to find
yourself some unknown kid,

somebody who
doesn't know any better.

Of course.

Sit down.

Let daddy take over.

What? What are you talking about?

Mrs. Jack Carson.

You mean little miss pot cheese?

Sure. It's the oldest
story in the world.

Big star steps out of part,
little country girl takes over.

Little country girl becomes big star.

It's the great Hollywood fable.

Hey, Dennis. I think
you got something there.

Yeah.

I'll discover her.
I'll put her in a picture.

I'll direct her.

And that beautiful little doll will be
grateful to me, very grateful.

Oh, no. I'll discover her.

I'll play the love scenes with her.

We'll rehearse at my house at night.

And she'll be very grateful to me.

Wait a minute.

She can't be grateful
enough for both of us.

Uh, anyway, it--it won't work.

I mean, uh, those things just--

They just don't happen in real life.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.
I guess you're right.

I was carried away.

Besides, I think she was
playing you for a big sucker.

Uh, yeah.
Country girl, huh?

Probably works
behind the third bubble

at the downtown burlesque.

Trying to con the two of us
into a part in the picture.

A couple of smart guys like us, huh?

Ridiculous, isn't it?

A couple of smart guys like us.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, I, uh...

Yeah.

I guess I'll get myself
a glass of orange juice.

Yeah. I think I'll go
get a glass of milk.

-See you later.
-Yeah.

Good-bye. Now.

What time does the train
leave for Prairieville?

Train 76 leaves
on track 4 at 12:28,

arrives Kansas City at 8:02.

Transfer to Harvey junction,
Missouri to C.C.G.& O.

Arrive Prairieville 4:32, Wednesday.

Take Harry's cab to the hotel.

Yes?

What's the fare to Gerky's
corners, Wisconsin, please?

Why, the fare is--

Gerky's who?

Gerky's corners.

Miss, I've been
on this job since 1932.

And I assure you

there's no such place
as gerky's corners.

My mother will be very
surprised to hear that.

I was born there.

Oh. Born, hmm?

Ahem. Well, just a moment.

Excuse me.

I haven't had this open in 15 years.

Gerky's corners.
Gerky's corners.

"Gerky's corners, Wisconsin."

It's a blow, but you're right.

Well, what's the fare, please?

Fare?
Mm-hmm.

"See schedule F."

Ah.

Gerky's corners.
Gerky's corners.

Uh, double asterisk.

"See appendix D."

"D," hmm.

Circle, dot, square.

That means it's entered
in special schedule listings.

Huh.

Here we are. Ahem.

Schedule...

Here we are.

Got the little rascal now.

The fare is $68.15.

Thank you very much.

I have just enough for my ticket.

Yes?

What time does the next train leave
for gerky's corners, Wisconsin?

The fare is $68.15.

I don't want to go there.
I just want to know

what time the train leaves.

I don't think this is my day.

Just a minute.

"F." ahem! Yeah.

Little asterisk...

Appendix "D"...

Circle-dot-square...

Hmm. Now...

Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Gerky's corners...

It's still here.

Train leaves Los Angeles
at 2:32 P.M.

In just 29 minutes.

Thanks.

Bon voyage.

Yes?

I'd like some information about the
train for gerky's corners, Wisconsin.

The fare is $68.15.
The train leaves at 2:32 P.M.,

and you have exactly
28 1/2 minutes to make it.

What track?

Why don't you go to San Francisco?

I don't want to go anyplace.

I'm just curious about
what track it leaves on.

Curiosity killed the cat, you know.

Meow.

What track does it leave on?

Just a minute.

"F."

Ah... double asterisk...

Appendix "D"...

Circle-dot-square.

Why, you must be new around here.

Why?

You have to look everything up.

The train leaves on track 8,
and don't you ever speak to me again.

It'll be a pleasure.

Yes?

Could you direct me to the washroom?

Train 67 on track 3...

Please, song for you, señorita?

Only 10 cent. We play
beautiful song.

For 15 cents, we go away.

No, thank you.

Good. We are tired
of playing anyhow.

The way we play...

Might cheer you up,
though. Very funny.

Thanks, boys, but I don't
feel like hearing a song now.

Judy.

I've been looking all over for you.

I want to explain about what
happened in my dressing room.

You don't have to explain anything.

Wait a minute.
Let him explain.

Sounds interesting.

What happened in
your dressing room?

Would you gentlemen
mind moving on?

Only 10 cents.
We play beautiful song.

For a quarter, we go away.

It was 15 cents before.

15 cents, 2 for a quarter.

Here.

We got a good record, lady.

Don't louse it up.

Ha ha ha!

I don't blame you
for being angry with me,

but when you hear what I have to say,
I'm sure you'll be grateful.

Very grateful.

Chicago, Pittsburgh,
Philadelphia.

Train leaving on track...

But why did Mr. Carson
make all those promises?

You got to understand Jack.

There's nothing malicious about him.

He's really trying to be
warm-hearted, generous, and kind.

You two really stick up
for each other, don't you?

You bet we do.

It's not his fault that
his personality's just a little...

Obnoxious.

You've really got something, kid.

Believe me,
I've seen them come and go.

I'd like to believe you,
Mr. Morgan,

but how do I know I'm not
being fooled this time, too?

How do I know that you and
the producer are like this?

If I'm not telling you the truth,

may I never see
the light of day again.

Game called
on account of darkness.

Don't believe anything this walking
blarney stone is saying to you.

He and the producer aren't like this.

They're not like that,
they're not even like that.

Look, Judy,
I'm gonna be honest with you.

We can't guarantee that
you're gonna be a star,

but we're gonna do
everything in our power

to see that you get a break.

But I've been fooling myself.

I can't act.

- That hasn't stopped him.
- It hasn't stopped him.

- I said it first.
- No.

I'm going home and
marry Jeffrey Bushdinkle

if he'll still have me.

But this is your big chance.

We write about this
a thousand times.

"Star steps out of picture."

"Little country girl
takes her place."

"Little country girl
becomes a big star."

I mustn't listen to you.
I mustn't believe you.

You've fooled me once before,
and I mustn't let it happen again!

But we're on the level, Judy.

How can we prove it to you?

Uh...

Danny!

Danny!

Hmm?

He'll tell you.
Can't we make her a star, huh?

- Aren't we always on the level?
- Sure. Tell her about us, Danny.

Yeah, you hear that?
What did I tell you?

But I'm just a little waitress.

No Hollywood producer
even looked at me.

Well, that's because
you don't dress the part.

All you need is clothes.

Isn't that right, Danny?

We'll get her an ensemble from
top to bottom, from inside out.

Nice dresses.

That oughta do it, hey, Danny boy?

Boy.

Oh, that sounds wonderful.

I'll stay.

Oh, thanks, Danny!
You convinced her!

Ohh...

- Did we make you miss your train?
- Ha ha! How could you?

I am the train.

Oh, I've seen so many beautiful
things, I don't know which to pick.

I'm having the same problem myself.

This dress would look
wonderful on you.

We'll take that one.
Have the young lady try it on.

Yes, sir.
Come with me, dear.

Hey, what's the idea?

I don't like that dress on Judy.

Look, we have an agreement,
haven't we?

Today, she's mine.

What I say goes.

Oh, all right,
but tomorrow, she's mine,

and off comes that dress.

And I'll put it right back
on her again Thursday.

Friday, I'll take it right off again.

Well, really!

You two boys ought to be
ashamed of yourselves.

Just think of what you're doing
to that poor little innocent girl!

Oh, but, Joan, you--
You don't understand.

2 grown men acting like...

Grown men!

Why, Joan,

you don't think Jack
and I’d take advantage

of a situation like this.

Are you kidding?

Uh, Joan, I told you.
You don't understand.

I've never denied you anything.

Anything money could buy,
I've given you.

But that wasn't enough, was it?

All right, things are going
to be different now. Get out.

Miss Crawford,
they aren't doing anything wrong.

Just a minute. Get out!

Get your things out of here before
I throw them into the street

and you with them!
Get out before I kill you!

Wh-what's that for?

I do that in all my pictures.

Sweet girl.
Yeah.

Oh, I just love miss
Crawford on the screen.

Yeah.

You know, I still don't
like this dress on Judy.

Well...

You know, maybe we're wrong about
the way we're handling her, huh?

What do you mean?

Maybe we shouldn't take
her up to Trent's office.

He always likes to
discover his own talent.

Running an elevator,
behind a soda fountain,

dancing in a chorus.

The old Hollywood fable!

Hey...

I just got an idea!

I knew you'd make it.

I can't understand it.

I can't, either.

But there it is.
Every girl I see

looks the same to me.

About 5'4", blonde,

and they all smile at me with
that same sickening smile!

I think these lenses
will solve your problem.

I certainly hope so, doctor.

I don't need an oculist.

I need an analyst!

Yeah, this ought to do the trick.

What?

Yeah, believe me,
if she doesn't get the part,

she can always pick up
a few extra dimes.

Oh.

Her name is Mclaglen.

She lives in
the apartment below us,

and her boyfriend's a policeman.

Looking for Judy?

Well, I could change my mind.

Oh, don't bother with me.
I've already had my career.

Judy's not in.

You got any idea
where I could find her?

I'll break it to you gently.

Dennis Morgan, Hollywood bowl,
stars shining, full moon.

Tch, tch.

You poor boy.

Wonderful of you to get
tickets for the bowl.

This is as good a time
as any to tell you, Judy.

I've got another ticket for you.

This is a railroad ticket.

To gerky's corners.

It would never have worked.

It started out as a gag
and got away from us.

The 2 big brains, the starmakers.

Believe me, go on back home
before you get hurt.

Do you think it would be the
first time I ever got hurt?

I know it's gonna be tough,
and maybe I'll never succeed,

but I've made up my mind,

and I'm an awfully
stubborn person.

There are thousands of girls in
Hollywood just as stubborn as you.

I worked in the 5-and-10 for 3 years,

8 1/2 hours a day,
just to earn enough money

so I could take dramatic
lessons from Mrs. Hoskins.

And I took singing lessons, too.

From... mr. Hoskins?

Go ahead and laugh,
but he's pretty good.

I'll bet he could even
help you a lot, too.

He probably could,
but that's beside the point.

The odds are against you here.

Why don't you go home
where they aren't?

Maybe I can't act,
and maybe I can't sing,

but I want to find that out
for myself, Mr. Dennis Morgan.

And if you don't mind, I'll buy
my own ticket to the Hollywood bowl!

You win, kid.

Even if you don't
get to be a big star,

Hollywood's gonna know
it's been in a fight,

and I'm gonna do my best
to see you get a break.

Oh, Mr. Morgan...

You've made me the
happiest girl in the whole world!

Anybody around here
seen Dennis Morgan?

You feel a draft?

No. Why?

A big wind just blew in.

Oh, Mr. Morgan!

Sticks and stones
may break my bones--

Come on.
We better hurry.

- Isn't Mr. Carson going with us?
- Sorry. Only 2.

Hey!

Hmph! 17th row.

Lucky I got here in time.

Uh, I'm Jack Carson.

-Yes?
-I'd like my usual tickets.

17th row! Ha ha!

Anybody want to use
the field glasses?

Oh, no.

I'd rather guess at the whole thing.

Well, I'm glad they were sold out.

It's so much more...
Beautiful from up here.

Except when the clouds
get in your way.

You know, I kinda like
this long-hair stuff.

I don't know. When I sit here
listening to that Beethoven--

Wagner.

That stuff, I--
It does something to me.

Makes a fella feel
like he needs a girl.

Um,

does it make a girl feel like...

She needs a fella?

All I can think of is how cold I am.

Wish there was some way
to keep warm.

Yeah. Heh heh!

Maybe you'd like one of us
to get your coat from the car.

Oh, that'd be wonderful,
Mr. Carson.

Uh, yeah--

Allow me.

Why, Mr. Morgan!

It'll be a pleasure.

Well, as long
as you're up, you're...

Closer to the parking lot.

Ha ha ha--oh!

Ha ha!

You're closer now.

All right, I'll get
her coat for her...

And she'll be grateful to me,

very grateful,

if I get back soon enough!

Well, Judy...

Alone...

At long last.

Mr. Morgan,
you shouldn't hold my hand.

What would Mr. Carson think?

What would Mr. Carson think with?

And besides,
Jeffrey wouldn't like it.

Jeffrey?

Jeffrey Bushdinkle, my boyfriend.

Ha! Nobody's named
Jeffrey Bushdinkle.

Except Jeffrey Bushdinkle.

You may not believe this,
but he's really awfully nice.

If this were gerky's corners,

you know what we'd
be doing tonight?

What?

We'd be down at
Hansen's drug store

listening to the juke box.

And maybe even to one
of your records, too.

That sounds like a song cue
if I ever heard one.

♪ If all ♪

♪ My dreams ♪

♪ Are not about you ♪

♪ Blame my absent-minded heart ♪

♪ It's really quite regretful ♪

♪ That my heart is so forgetful ♪

♪ When you're away ♪

♪ It always seems to fall ♪

♪ Apart ♪

♪ If I ♪

♪ Don't show I'm lost ♪

♪ Without you ♪

♪ Blame my absent-minded heart ♪

♪ Did we meet in December? ♪

♪ There's so much
it must remember ♪

♪ And if I haven't said
I've loved you ♪

♪ From the start ♪

♪ Blame my absent-minded heart ♪

♪ If I ♪

♪ Don't show I'm lost ♪

♪ Without you ♪

♪ Blame my absent-minded heart ♪

♪ Did we meet in December? ♪

♪ There's so much
it must remember ♪

♪ And ♪

♪ If I haven't said ♪

♪ I've loved you ♪

♪ From the start ♪

♪ Blame my ♪

♪ Absent-minded heart ♪

Uh, to coin a phrase,
I hope I'm not intruding.

Oh, Mr. Carson,
thanks for bringing my coat.

Hey, you won't need it now.
You're warm enough.

Have you any future plans
for the evening,

Mr. Casanova?

Well, we were going
to Schwab's for a soda.

Aw, now, isn't that peachy?

I'll be glad to drive you.

-Oh, thanks.
-Just a minute.

Heh heh!

What'll it be, folks?

I want a banana split

with chocolate-strawberry-vanilla
ice cream,

lots of maraschino cherries,

and don't spare
the whipped cream.

What?

- She must be on a diet!
- Yeah.

I always had that
at Hansen's drug store.

I'll have a pineapple soda myself.

- What about you?
- I'm not drinking tonight.

Hey, uh, you think you could
spare me for a minute?

I forgot about a phone
call I have to make.

Don't be too soon.

I have a hunch he's up
to something.

Aren't you?

Believe me, Judy,

all I want to do is arrange
a screen test for you.

Really?

Really.

And if Jack had any sense...

Let's see who the brain is calling.

What? Oh, gee, Mr. Trent,
you shouldn't talk that way.

I got my mother's picture
in my pocket.

Oh, yes!

Yes, Arthur.

Yes. If you insist,
we'll test the new girl

in technicolor.

Spare no expense, huh?

Oh, ha ha ha!

We're like that!

What are you trying to do,
drive me into an early ulcer?

We're not making tests
of unknowns in technicolor,

black and white,
or pencil drawings!

Oh, no, no.

3 cameras
will be more than plenty.

First thing in the morning, huh?

All right. We'll go right
to the recording stage.

Recording stage?!

You won't even get on the lot!

And that's the way it is.

Well, I can't understand why.

Having trouble?

Oh, no, no.

Not at all.

Mr. Trent left word
not to let Mr. Carson on the lot.

You and Trent are like this, hey?

This must be you!

Sorry, Mr. Carson.
Those are my orders.

Yeah, look, Charlie,
you got to help me.

Forget about what Mr. Trent said.

We're trying to give
this kid a break in pictures.

We're gonna record
her voice for a sound test.

Trent'll thank you for it
when he sees it.

I got my orders.

Uh, never mind.
I'll take over.

Now, listen, flatfoot,
you heard my pal.

He wants to give the kid a break.

- Now, knock off and let him in.
- I got my orders.

Come on now. Scram.
Out of the way.

Listen, you don't scare me!

Come here, wise guy.

Just a minute.

Now look, Charlie,

I got a reputation for being tough.

Now, you got to do what I say.
Otherwise people will start talking.

They'll stop going
to see my pictures.

The studio will lose money,
they'll close up shop,

shut down, you'll
be out of a job.

I never thought of it that way.

Well, think of it that way, will you?

Go ahead. Go on.

Go ahead, get in there!

Now, look here!
You're not gonna open

that big, fat trap of yours
anymore, are you?

No, Mr. Robinson.

And my friends can go
through, can they?

Yes, Mr. Robinson.

And smile!

Thanks, Eddie.

Ain't nothing.

What I won't do to keep my job.

Me, too.

That's fine, boys.

Now, the next number,
we use the quartet.

Right over here, boys.

Um, hold it a minute,
will you, ray?

Well, what is it now?

Don't get excited already.

Well, what is it?

I've just got some extra work
for you to do, that's all.

Sorry, but I'm tied up with the
Ernie Felice quartet for a while.

We just want to record
a chorus of big, fat lie

with miss Adams for the test.

Sorry, Dennis.
I haven't got the time.

Listen, Heindorf,

as the director
of mademoiselle Fifi,

I order you to do it!

I won't do it! And
if you don't like it,

you can take it up with Raoul!

Pardon me!

Are you the ray Heindorf,

the musical genius of the
motion picture industry?

You boys know big, fat lie?

Yeah, we know it, ray.

Put her on the solo Mike.

Right. It's right this way, Judy.
Here.

Here's a copy of the music.

A sheer coincidence.

What I'd like to know is this:

How could she possibly sing a
song she never even heard before?

Do I ask that about your pictures?

♪ I kinda believed you
when you said ♪

♪ Your nights were lonely ♪

♪ Till the day that I came by ♪

♪ But when you whispered
that I was ♪

♪ Your one and only ♪

♪ That was a big, fat lie ♪

♪ I should've been wiser
than I was ♪

♪ And seen right through you ♪

♪ But the moon got in my eye ♪

♪ That stuff
about "I never lived ♪

♪ Until I knew you" ♪

♪ That was a big, fat lie ♪

♪ You must've started to fib ♪

♪ When you were wearing a bib ♪

♪ And such a habit's
hard to break ♪

♪ A little lie is ok ♪

♪ But when you lie
night and day ♪

♪ That's more
than even I can take ♪

♪ You told me we ought to marry ♪

♪ And I let you sway me ♪

♪ Kissed my happy days good-bye ♪

♪ And when you told that man ♪

♪ You'd honor and obey me ♪

♪ That, baby ♪

♪ Was a big, fat lie ♪

You're no George Washington.

♪ An overexaggeration ♪

♪ Of a sober prevarication ♪

♪ Just a big ♪

♪ Fat lie ♪

Great! You were great, kid!

Just a second, actor.

I'm the director in this picture.

Didn't you like it, Mr. Carson?

Well, honey, the pear-shaped
tones came out pear-shaped,

but the interpretation
was all wrong.

How would you know?

Because she's supposed
to be mademoiselle Fifi.

You know, French, Paris,
folies bergere, l'amour.

When you sing,

I want to hear those
post cards in your voice.

I'll run through it
once more, ray.

All right, boys.
Let's take it again.

Uh, just a minute.
I want the full orchestra.

No offense, fellas.
Just that my voice is so rich and full

that I need the full treatment.
Ha ha!

Make those violins moan, huh?

Uh, they won't be the only ones.

Hey, sit down, Chuck.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-mmm.

♪ I kinda believed you ♪

♪ When you said
your nights were lonely ♪

♪ Till the day that I came by ♪

♪ But when you whispered ♪

♪ That I was your one and only ♪

♪ Ho, ho, cherie ♪

♪ That was a big, fat lie,
and you know that! ♪

♪ You must've started to fib ♪

♪ When you were wearing
what you call a bib ♪

♪ And such a habit ♪

♪ Ho ho, that's hard to break ♪

♪ A little lie ♪

♪ That's ok ♪

♪ But when you lie
night and day ♪

♪ That's more than even I ♪

♪ Me, I can't take that ♪

♪ You told me we ought to marry ♪

♪ And I let you sway me ♪

♪ Kissed
my happy days good-bye ♪

♪ And when you told that man ♪

♪ You'd honor and obey me ♪

♪ That, ma petite ♪

♪ Was a big ♪

♪ Fat-- ♪

♪ That, baby ♪

♪ Was a big ♪

♪ Fat lie ♪

All right, Dennis.
Now watch him synching.

I'll give you a snap
when to start your action.

Let me hear
that playback, will you?

Hey, clear the set, everybody.
Got a lot of work to do here.

No, no, no. I wanna
hear Judy's voice.

And, Judy, now,
when you hear that song played back,

I want you to act
like you're singing it.

- Ok.
- And you, Dennis,

just act,
or am I asking the impossible?

Uh, thank you very much.

All right, let's go!

Judy, listen to
everything Jack says,

do exactly the opposite.

You'll be a big success.

- Uh, I'll take over.
- It's all yours.

Wait, you can't run that camera!
Wait for the crew!

We can't. No time to wait.

Press liable to find out
about this any minute.

After all, what is this?
Just a big brownie.

I haven't been making
pictures for 10 years

without learning something.

Listen, you've been living for
30 without much improvement.

Listen, wise guy,

I'll handle my own camera,
my own cue lights,

my own playback,
my own equipment.

May--may I make my own entrance?

Yeah.
If that's possible.

You're too kind.

Ok, boys, I'm rolling!

Speed!

Action!

I'll make this a screen test
Hollywood will never forget.

Uh, oh, have you got my pills?

This is the third one
today, Mr. Trent.

I'm pushing myself too hard.

3 pictures going at once...

2 more in preparation...

You ought to get away
on a vacation

and forget about the
studio for a while.

What's the matter?

For just a moment,
you looked 5'4", blonde...

And you were wearing
that same sickening smile.

Are you sure you feel up to
seeing the test this morning?

We'll make a stab at it anyway.

Carson, French accent:
♪ I kinda believed you ♪

♪ When you said
your nights were lonely ♪

♪ Till the day that I came by ♪

♪ But when you whispered ♪

♪ That I was your one and only ♪

♪ That was a big, fat lie ♪

♪ I should've been wiser than I was ♪

♪ And seen right through you ♪

♪ But the moon ♪

♪ Got in my eye ♪

♪ That stuff
about "I never lived ♪

♪ Until I knew you" ♪

♪ Oh, ho, cherie ♪

♪ That was a big, fat lie,
and you know that ♪

Mademoiselle.

Mademoiselle.
Mademoiselle Fifi.

♪ You must've
started to fib ♪

♪ When you were wearing a bib ♪

♪ And such a habit's
hard to break ♪

What happened to his voice?

♪ A little lie is ok ♪

♪ But when you lie
night and day ♪

♪ That's more than even I can take ♪

♪ You told me we ought to marry ♪

♪ And I let you sway me ♪

♪ Kissed my happy days good-bye ♪

♪ And when you told that man ♪

♪ You'd honor and obey me ♪

♪ That, baby ♪

♪ Was a big, fat lie ♪

You're no George Washington.

Ehh, what's up, doc?

Yee-hah!

♪ Ahh ♪

I think I can hear him applauding.

Oh, you're in, baby.

You know something?

Maybe I ought to change
this contract to 600 a week.

But I'm not worth that much.

Mr. Trent.

Why, Trent'll come out of
there raving about you. He--

We'll make it 700 a week.

Pardon me, please.

Well, maybe 600 is enough.

I'm sorry, sir.
I'm sorry.

- How about 500?
- Cute.

You think I can get my job back
at the commissary?

Oh!

Swedish maniac throwing
the book at him,

and how that French
killer can take it!

There he goes!

He's down again!

But not for long!
He's right back up again!

What men!
How do they stand it?

The crowd is going mad!

They wanted action, and
they're sure enough getting it tonight!

Oh. Excuse me.

I--I get excited with these things.

I understand.
I'm the same way myself.

Ooh! You can't tell me these
matches are not on the level!

The Swede is really suffering!

You know, even though Mr. Trent
had a nervous breakdown

and has to go away and
the picture is canceled,

and they foreclose
on your house...

I want you both to know
I'm not discouraged one bit.

He's hitting the Swedish maniac
with everything but the referee!

All right, so I'm a liar!

What if you can't be
in that Broadway show

because they found somebody
else to take your place?

You might've been terrible
in it anyway.

I believe in looking at
the brighter side of things.

Anything posing there tonight?

Down on the mat again,
and they both got a hold.

Now what's gonna happen?

Uh-oh, what a switch.

Mr. Trent hasn't
left town yet, you know.

Oh, if I could just get
the chance to sing for him

with my own voice...

Oh, Nelly! He's really
squeezing and putting it on!

But the referee wants
to see what it's all about,

and nobody's gonna stop him.

He's right in there
for a close look!

But maybe he looked
a little too close!

He's getting squeezed himself!

He can take it, too!

Well, he got himself in that fix,

and it looks like
he'll have to get out of it

the same way he got in.

But you can't give up.

You got to be like them,

the Swedish maniac
and the French killer,

fighting to the finish for
the honor of their countries.

The Swedish maniac
and the French killer.

- 2 guys from Milwaukee.
- Yeah. Named Sam.

They got to have that foreign
buildup to draw in the suckers.

Otherwise, they wouldn't draw flies.

Yeah?
Flies, they might.

I don't believe it.

If that was a fake,
Hollywood wouldn't fall for it.

The French killer's weakening!

The Swede's got him--there
he goes into a flying mare!

Hold everything!

Say something in French.

Uh, mademoiselle
from armentieres.

That's great!

What's Arthur Trent looking for?

An established star
for mademoiselle Fifi.

Ok, we'll give him one,

direct from Paris.

We'll change the color of her hair.

Her makeup.
Her wardrobe.

Punching, biting...

They'll put the picture
back on schedule.

I'll get my house back,
my new car!

Vive la France! Ha ha!

His arm around the killer...

Here are your train
tickets, Mr. Trent.

You have compartment "B," car 16.

You know, this'll be
my first vacation in 20 years.

It'll do you good.

Pretty decent of the studio
to pay my expenses east,

make my reservations for me,

tell me to stay
as long as I like...

Who's trying to get rid of me?

Who wants to put the knife in me?

Why is everybody being so nice?

Mr. Trent, your nerves
are getting the best of you.

Yes, I guess you're right.

It was awfully nice of the
studio to arrange this trip.

But why so soon?

What are they trying to do to me?

Mr. Trent's office.

It's the Hollywood reporter.

Oh. Probably calling
to say good-bye.

Hello.

Hello, Arthur.

Calling about a cable
just received from Paris.

"Yvonne amour,
star of comedie francaise,

"rumored secretly signed
by Warner brothers,

"arrives Pasadena today

for lead in mademoiselle Fifi."

Say, I thought that picture
was postponed.

The wolves are moving in.

My chair isn't even cold yet,
somebody else is taking over my job

of producing mademoiselle Fifi!

I'll call you right back and
give you the whole story...

Soon as I find out myself.

Let me have a half hour.

I promise I'll give you an exclusive.

I'll get the front office.

No. How do I know
who's my friend?

How do I know who's my enemy?

Everybody's so sweet to me--

Please, Mr. Trent,
better take another one of these.

Sometimes I even wonder about you.

Oh!

Get me publicity.

No, no, no.
Publicity!

I don't know the number!

The telephone girls, too.

Yes?

Oh, hello, Arthur.

The stills on who?

Anybody ever hear
of a French pastry

named Yvonne amour?

No. I didn't. Never heard of her.

You sure you got
the name right, Arthur?

Oh, no, I'm not
double-crossing anybody.

You're my favorite producer.

Publicity.

The wire service wants some
background on Yvonne amour.

Yvonne amour again?

Just a minute.
The papers wanna know

what time her train
gets to Pasadena.

It's the New York office.

They never send us
any of their releases.

Figure we can read it in the paper.

Arthur, we'll have the
pictures over this afternoon.

Now listen, boys.

Send a couple of cameramen
over to Pasadena.

We want some cheesecake
on Yvonne amour.

You know, "I love America"
with her legs crossed.

What'll I tell 'em?
They want a biography.

Yvonne amour, born in the
shadow of the Eiffel Tower.

- How do you know?
- It's a big tower.

Her father, a colonel in
the French foreign legion.

Killed 16 years ago
in northern Afghanistan.

- Let's see him check that.
- Mother?

A Russian ballerina.
White Russian, of course.

So beautiful, 18 duels
were fought over her.

Living?

Poor kid got caught
in the crossfire.

So much for the facts.
The rest you can make up.

Skorski's on the line.
We throwing a luncheon for Yvonne amour?

What do you mean luncheon?
A dinner, a party, the works.

We'll take over
a whole soundstage,

hors d'oeuvres, champagne...

Call the French consul.
Tell him we're having frog's legs.

She was born in the shadow...

♪ Fiddle Dee Dee, fiddle Dee di ♪

♪ All I can see are
rainbows in the sky ♪

♪ Oh, fiddle Dee di ♪

♪ Fiddle Dee Dee, fiddle Dee di ♪

♪ Life is an all the year
round Christmas tree ♪

♪ Oh, fiddle Dee Dee ♪

♪ I should worry, I should care ♪

♪ I should envy a millionaire ♪

♪ Chances are that he ♪

♪ Walks around and envies me ♪

♪ Fiddle Dee Dee, fiddle Dee di ♪

♪ Joy is a thing
you never qualify ♪

♪ Don't ask yourself why ♪

♪ Be happy ♪

♪ Singing fiddle Dee Dee ♪

♪ Swinging fiddle Dee Dee ♪

♪ Swinging fiddle Dee Dee,
fiddle Dee di ♪

Great, here they are now.

This thing's getting away from us.

Those cable crams were just
to get an audition with Trent,

not to bring out
the foreign legion.

Ooh la la!

How do we get out of here?

It's too late now.

We may all wind up
in the Bastille.

I can't keep my eyes open.

My eyelashes are getting so heavy.

Hold your head back.

I do that, my wig starts slipping.

Oh, we're in trouble.

Mademoiselle amour,
welcome to Warner brothers.

Oh, I love America.

Hold it, please.

Will you come with me, please?

Get in a little closer, fellas.

Pat, Eleanor,

may I present
mademoiselle Yvonne amour.

Eleanor Parker, Patricia Neal.

How do you do?

Excuse me, I'll be right back.

We know you're going to be
very happy in America,

working in pictures.

Ah, thank you.

Merci beaucoup.

Get a load of that accent.

We're in trouble.

You said that.

Yeah, but now we're
in mucho trouble.

You'll love making
pictures, miss amour.

Merci beaucoup.

Of course, you do have
to get up a little early.

Around 5:30.

Mm-hmm, on the set by 8:00.

Makeup, wardrobe.

Those lights and
those directors--

Oh, work, work, work.

Nothing to eat, you have to diet.
Keep those hips down.

Mmm, no fun.
Early to bed and early to rise.

Keeps your agents healthy,
wealthy, and wise.

Ha ha, you'll love it.

Oh, thank you.

Merci, merci, merci--

Yeah, merci beaucoup.

We'll see you later, kids.

Poor kid.

They'll probably make her a blond.

Pardon me, pardon me, please.

Eh, mademoiselle amour,
may I present Mr. Arthur Trent,

one of my favorite producers.

Oh, uh, likewise.

Ooh, likewise.

Eh, shall we all eat
before we lose our bon appetit?

Yes, yes, yes.

Uh, mademoiselle amour,

may I present
monsieur Andre Burnet

and a delegation
of your countrymen.

Parlez-vous francais?

Uh, mademoiselle has
a fine sense of humor.

Yes. And, uh,

in fact, she'd like to sing a song
for you before we eat, shall we?

Oui! Oui, oui.

Oui, oui.

Ray, may I present Yvonne amour.

- Mr. Heindorf.
- How do you do?

Her favorite song is caf rendezvous.

That song hasn't been published yet.

- Does she know it?
- I studied-- I know it.

What?

She--she knows it.

Mademoiselle, caf rendezvous, boys.

♪ At the caf rendezvous ♪

♪ I was lonely, so were you ♪

♪ Your eyes, they dance ♪

♪ I wanted to ♪

♪ When we danced,
I heard you mispronounce ♪

♪ Je vous adore ♪

♪ And after our first kiss ♪

♪ You mispronounced ♪

♪ Encore ♪

♪ it was morning in Paris ♪

I knew you'd be
enthusiastic about her.

♪ To me ♪

♪ I was not sad ♪

♪ Because I knew ♪

♪ We will surely meet again ♪

♪ I know where and when ♪

♪ Tonight, I'll be
waiting there for you ♪

♪ At the caf rendezvous ♪

Where did you say
this young lady is from?

Paris.

-France?
-Yeah.

♪ Oh, mon cheri ♪

♪ Je pense à toi toujours ♪

♪ Toujours l'amour ♪

♪ Ton amour toujours ♪

♪ Toujours l'amour ♪

♪ Toujours, toujours l'amour ♪

Je vous aime beaucoup.

Tu tais avec moi à Paris.

Ooh la l--

Mademoiselle!

I told you they'd
make her a blond.

You were right.

Vive la France!

Well, it all happens at once.

The picture's cancelled,

Trent's leaving for New York,
everything's finished.

Yeah.

Well, it's up to you
to tell Judy the bad news.

Why me?

You got us into this, didn't you?

Hello, Mr. Carson.

Hello.

Who is that?

Her name's Mclachlan.
She lives here, too.

Gee, I don't know
what to say to Judy.

Hi, Judy.

Well, when do we eat?

We'll have dinner in about 5 minutes.

Come on in!

Yeah. Go ahead, Dennis.

No, no, you go ahead.

Grace is out getting the dessert.

Well, have you talked to the studio?

- Uh--
- Uh, dinner.

That reminds me of a joke.

One cannibal said
to the other cannibal,

"what's cooking in the big pot?"

Yeah, and the other cannibal
says, "dinner."

So the first cannibal says,

"anybody we know?"
Ha ha ha!

So the first cannibal says,
"anybody we know?"

Ha! Ha ha ha ha!

But have you talked
to the studio?

Oh--oh, yeah, the studio, huh?

They loved you.

What about Mr. Trent?

Uh, oh, you really sent him.

Look, I know I messed it up.

But as long as you have faith
in me, I won't stop trying.

I want you both to know
I'm not discouraged,

not a bit.

Why didn't you tell her the truth?

She thinks she's still got a chance.

Didn't have the heart.

Why didn't you tell her?

Well, I got a heart, too.

But right now it feels
like a lump of pot cheese

and Sauerkraut.

Hmm. Mr. Jeffrey Bushdinkle,
gerky's corners, Wisconsin.

Don't read Judy's mail.

Oh, I'm not, but at least I can
see where it's going, can't I?

Blow on it, you might steam it open.

Huh?

Oh, hello, Grace.

I--I'm just weighing it

to see if there was
enough postage on it.

If you want to know what's inside,
it starts off with "dear Jeffrey."

Yeah, we, uh,
we figured that out ourselves.

What you didn't figure out
is the rest of it.

I don't have to open that letter.

4 score and 7 years ago
I wrote the same one.

I could've gone back
to my hometown

and married a guy
who was crazy about me.

But no--I wrote him and
said I chose a career instead.

Hmm, some career.

"Lettuce and tomato on rye,
hold the mayonnaise."

Yeah, but this is different.
Judy's got talent.

We'll figure out something.

Why don't you two stop giving
her that hokey routine?

She likes this Jeffrey
Bushdinkle and he likes her.

I like Judy, too.

Oh, I like her very much.

From what I've gathered,

Jeffrey wants to marry her.

Yeah, but we can see that
she gets fame and fortune.

You've got to make her go back home.

Oh, we can't do that.
I tried that once.

Oh, of course she won't leave

as long as she thinks
Hollywood is wonderful

and you two guys are
knights in shining armor

doing everything to help her.

If we could make her think
we're really a couple of heels.

Oh, now, Dennis.

How could we possibly do that?

Hey, that redhead.

- Who do you mean?
- The one that lives downstairs.

You mean Irene Mclachlan?

Yeah. You can help us in this, Grace.

Well, sure, anything you say.

Now, look, here's what we'll do.

Dennis and I will go downstairs.

And when we get down there...

Ah, the caf rendezvous.

Where are Dennis and Jack?

Oh, they just stepped down
to the patio for some fresh air.

There's plenty of
fresh air in the balcony.

Well, they wanted it
perfumed a little.

- What do you mean?
- Shh! I hear them now.

We can get you in pictures.

Oh, you can?

Why, sure.

The producer and
I are just like that.

Oh, Mr. Carson,
it sounds too good to be true.

You've heard the story
a thousand times.

Star steps out of picture.

Little country girl takes her place.

Little country girl
becomes big star.

Your name in lights.

Houses, cars.

Oh, it sounds wonderful.

But how do I know
you're telling me the truth?

The truth...

If we're not,

may we never see
the light of day again.

Why, Judy.

I'm sorry,

but I wish it had landed on you.

And I thought you were
both so wonderful.

The next man who tells me
he can get me into pictures,

I'm gonna slap him
right in the face!

I'm taking the next train back
to gerky's corners.

Well, how does it
feel to be a nice guy?

Awful.

- Oh, uh, Porter...
- Yes, sir?

Uh, I'm in room "B."

I'd appreciate it if you'd
keep it as quiet as possible.

I'm--I'm a sick man.

Yes, sir.
I'll do my best, sir.

- Can I help you, miss?
- No, thanks.

- I got enough help in this town.
- Just a minute, please.

Thanks.

Good-bye, Hollywood.

You've heard the story
a thousand times.

Star steps out of picture.

Little country girl takes her place.

Little country girl
becomes a big star.

Your name in lights.

Houses and cars.

Of course it's not going to be easy.

May be a little rough at times.

A little rough at times.

A little rough at times.

A little rough at times.

♪ There's ♪

♪ Nothing rougher than love ♪

♪ Though poets may okay it ♪

♪ There's... Nothing
tougher than love ♪

♪ I got a lot of
courage to say it ♪

♪ Love at its best ♪

♪ Is strictly a thrill ♪

♪ Manufactured ♪

♪ Don't wait until ♪

♪ Your eyes start to glow ♪

♪ You'll wind up fractured ♪

♪ There's... Nothing
rougher than love ♪

♪ No matter how you slice it ♪

♪ There's... Nothing
tougher than love ♪

♪ But if you're gonna paradise it ♪

♪ You'll find, like me ♪

♪ It's worth all the tears ♪

♪ The doubts and the fears ♪

♪ The stormy weather ♪

♪ Hearts and flowers ♪

♪ All those torch songs
after hours ♪

♪ Love is mighty rough ♪

♪ Once you fall ♪

♪ But there ♪

♪ Is absolutely ♪
♪ Is absolutely ♪

♪ Nothing like it, but there ♪

♪ Is positively ♪
♪ Is positively ♪

♪ Nothing like it, but there ♪

♪ Is definitely ♪
♪ Is definitely ♪

♪ nothing like it at all ♪

♪ Love is mighty rough ♪

♪ Once you fall ♪

♪ But there ♪

♪ Is absolutely ♪
♪ Is absolutely ♪

♪ Nothing like it, but there ♪

♪ Is positively ♪
♪ Is positively ♪

♪ Nothing like it, but there ♪

♪ Is definitely ♪
♪ Is definitely ♪

♪ Nothing rougher than love ♪

Aaaaaaaah!

Aaaaaaah!

What's the matter, lady?

Oh, you scared me awake.

Something wrong, miss?

We must have hit a bump.

I'm sorry.

Porter. Oh, this is terrible.

Porter, can't you do something?

My nerves are at
the breaking point.

Mine's broken,
but I'll do my best, sir.

♪ La la la Dee ♪

♪ Hmm hmm Dee Dee ♪

♪ If all my dreams
are about you ♪

♪ Blame my absent-minded heart ♪

♪ It's really quite regretful ♪

♪ That my heart is so forgetful ♪

♪ When you're away ♪

♪ It always seems too far apart ♪

♪ If I don't show ♪

♪ I'm lost without you ♪

♪ Blame my absent-minded heart ♪

♪ Will we meet in December? ♪

♪ There's so much
it must remember ♪

♪ And if I haven't said ♪

♪ I've loved you ♪

♪ From the start ♪

♪ Blame my absent-minded ♪

♪ Heart ♪

It is.

Why didn't Morgan and Carson tell me
that face had a voice like that?

Mr. Trent, you'd better not say
what I think you're gonna say.

I can get you in pictures.

You said it!

But--wait a minute.

- You don't understand.
- Oh, yes, I do!

No, no, no, no,
you don't understand.

She doesn't understand.

I'm not the kind of man
who chases after girls!

You could have fooled me.

Miss, miss, please,
you've got a great future.

You mean "little country
girl becomes a big star."

My name in lights.
Cars, houses.

- Yes, that's it.
- Ooh!

But--but--but wait a minute!

Sir!

Should I tuck you in, sir?

Mind if I join you for lunch?

They won't deliver it
to my dressing room anymore.

Hey, what's that you're eating?

Pot cheese and Sauerkraut.

Ah. She got you, huh?

No, no, no.

I just eat it because
it's good for what ails you.

Oh. Uh-huh.

- Lots of vitamins in it.
- Yeah. Lumps of vitamins.

Oh, let's think.

In a couple of hours she'll be
Mrs. Jeffrey Bushdinkle.

A fate worse than death.

We'll never see her again.

Oh, it's only you.

Well, what do you want
for 18.50 a week?

Virginia mail?

Everybody's a comedian.

No straight men left.

Except one.

-From Trent.
-Hmm?

He heard Judy sing on the train,

and he's changing mademoiselle
Fifi to an American girl.

He wants her to do the part!

Then the picture's on again!

I'll get my house.
They'll unchain my car.

There's only one catch.

What?

She changed trains and he
doesn't know where she lives.

But we know.

Gerky's corners.

-Hey, let's go tell her.
-Yeah.

Let's uh, uh...

Let's not, huh?

Wouldn't work anyway.

She'd probably just
spit in our eye again.

Ah, what's use of knocking
ourselves out for nothing?

Yeah, it's ridiculous.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

A couple of smart guys
like us, just silly.

Ha ha ha ha!

Well, I guess I'll go get myself
a glass of orange juice.

Think I'll go get myself
a glass of milk.

-See you later.
-All right.

Sure this is the Adams' house?

Yeah, sure, this is it.

Hurry up.
I've got to save a girl

from a fate worse than death.

Hello, stranger.

Let's keep it that way.

My friends, we are here
on this occasion

to unite 2 young people
in marriage.

Marriage is a foundation
of the home

and of the family and
of all of civilization.

If any of you can show
good reason

why these young people may not
lawfully be joined together,

let him now speak or
forever hold his peace.

Go ahead, yell.

Tell her she can be a big star.

You tell her.
You got here first.

Do you, Jeffrey Bushdinkle,

take this woman for
your lawful wedded wife?

I do.

Do you, Judy Adams, take this man
for your lawful wedded husband?

I do.

Then by virtue of
the power vested in me

by the sovereign state
of Wisconsin,

I pronounce you man and wife.

What can she see in that cornball?

Let her lead her dull little life

with her dull little
Jeffrey Bushdinkle.

What some girls will go for.

He's got nothing.

Nothing.

♪ It's a great feeling ♪

♪ Your credit is nil,
you'll never make a mil ♪

♪ But nonetheless I stay ♪