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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,270 - I FEEL LIKE MY LOVE LIFE 2 00:00:04,267 --> 00:00:05,667 IS STARTING TO LOOK LIKE 3 00:00:05,667 --> 00:00:07,697 ONE OF THOSE TIME-LAPSE FILMS OF A ROTTING DEER CARCASS. 4 00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:09,770 YOU ARE THE WORST PERSON! 5 00:00:09,767 --> 00:00:11,967 - I THINK YOU AND NESS COULD BE REALLY GREAT TOGETHER. 6 00:00:11,967 --> 00:00:13,967 - JUST DON'T SCREW IT UP LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO. 7 00:00:13,967 --> 00:00:15,327 - I'LL TRY TO SCREW IT UP 8 00:00:15,333 --> 00:00:16,933 IN A NEW AND AMUSING WAY FOR YOU. 9 00:00:18,933 --> 00:00:20,973 [barroom chatter and laughter] 10 00:00:20,967 --> 00:00:24,297 - CRAZY, RIGHT? I'VE NEVER DATED A GUY IN A BAND BEFORE. 11 00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:25,770 - IT'S CRAZY THAT THERE ARE ANY PROFESSIONS 12 00:00:25,767 --> 00:00:27,427 YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN AROUND TO TAPPING. 13 00:00:27,433 --> 00:00:28,873 - OH, DON'T LISTEN TO HIM. 14 00:00:28,867 --> 00:00:31,297 TALES OF MY PROMISCUITY ARE OVER-EXAGGERATED. 15 00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:32,970 - SO HOW'D YOU MEET THIS GUY, TEEN? 16 00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:36,227 - ETHAN. TYPICAL STORY, BOY MEETS GIRL, 17 00:00:36,233 --> 00:00:39,433 BOY FEEDS VODKA SHOTS, GIRL WAKES UP HAPPY, HUNG OVER, 18 00:00:39,433 --> 00:00:40,803 AND A LITTLE SORE. 19 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,770 - EW. - ANYWAY, SO FAR SO GOOD. 20 00:00:42,767 --> 00:00:45,927 HE FRONT WHAT SEEMS TO BE A PRETTY POPULAR BAND, 21 00:00:45,933 --> 00:00:48,503 AND HE'S REALLY SWEET, LIKE, THE ANTI-BRETT, 22 00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:49,930 AND BETWEEN US GIRLS, 23 00:00:49,933 --> 00:00:52,473 HE'S SKILLED IN THE WAYS OF LOVEMAKING. 24 00:00:52,467 --> 00:00:53,867 HE LIKES TO WIGGLE IT, JUST A LITTLE BIT. 25 00:00:53,867 --> 00:00:54,867 - HEY. - HEY. 26 00:00:54,867 --> 00:00:56,167 [laughter] 27 00:00:56,167 --> 00:00:59,567 - SUPER-STOKED YOU'RE HERE. TINA, VODKA SODA. 28 00:00:59,567 --> 00:01:01,667 - OH, YOU'RE THE SWEETEST. - HERE, TAKE THESE. 29 00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:03,967 FREE DRINKS, COURTESY OF MY BAND, TIME OF YOUR LIFE. 30 00:01:03,967 --> 00:01:05,827 - OH, YOU'RE RIGHT, HE IS THE SWEETEST. 31 00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,773 - IT'S SO COOL, YOU GUYS ALL CAME TO SEE US. 32 00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:10,127 OKAY. [kiss] 33 00:01:10,133 --> 00:01:12,273 I GOTTA GO GET INTO CHARACTER. - [laughs] 34 00:01:12,267 --> 00:01:14,697 - SO, ANYONE WANT SOME MORE OF THIS WATERY BEER? 35 00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:15,770 - UH, YES. - ME, PLEASE. 36 00:01:15,767 --> 00:01:17,327 - I DO. - [laughs] 37 00:01:17,333 --> 00:01:20,303 - SHE'S DIFFERENT THAN YOUR USUAL TYPE, JAY. SHE'S SANE. 38 00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:22,300 - YEAH, I'M NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT SICK OF HER. 39 00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:23,330 NO COMPLAINTS. [laughter] 40 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:24,433 - SO ROMANTIC. 41 00:01:24,433 --> 00:01:25,503 [cheers] 42 00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:27,530 - COME ON. 43 00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:33,970 [cheers] 44 00:01:33,967 --> 00:01:35,897 - HELLO, NEW YORK! 45 00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:38,430 [cheers and applause] 46 00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:40,803 - I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A GOOD DAY. 47 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:44,400 BUT WHO WANTS THEIR DAY TO GET A LITTLE GREENER? 48 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,730 [cheers] 49 00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:49,233 ARE THERE ANY AMERICAN IDIOTS IN THE HOUSE? 50 00:01:49,233 --> 00:01:51,103 [cheers] - [laughs] 51 00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:52,900 [electric guitar chord] 52 00:01:52,900 --> 00:01:55,600 - OH, "TIME OF YOUR LIFE," I GET IT NOW. 53 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,870 - YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE DATING THE LEAD SINGER 54 00:01:57,867 --> 00:02:00,227 OF A GREEN DAY COVER BAND. 55 00:02:00,233 --> 00:02:02,903 - MY GRANDPARENTS LOVED THEM ON BROADWAY. 56 00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:04,730 - WELL, [bleep] ME. 57 00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:07,733 [rock music] 58 00:02:07,733 --> 00:02:10,333 * 59 00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:11,773 [kissing] 60 00:02:11,767 --> 00:02:14,067 - MMM. 61 00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,097 - YOU KISS PRETTY GOOD FOR A DUDE. 62 00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:19,070 - I'VE BEEN PRACTICING ON THE BACK OF MY HAND SINCE I WAS 11. 63 00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:20,627 WOULD YOU DATE ME IF I WAS BAD? 64 00:02:20,633 --> 00:02:23,073 - MAYBE, I'D HAVE TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOUR FINANCES. 65 00:02:23,067 --> 00:02:24,067 - WHAT IF I WAS IN A COVER BAND? 66 00:02:24,067 --> 00:02:25,397 - NO, DEFINITELY NOT. 67 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,070 - WHAT IF I HAD ONE OF THOSE REALLY TINY ARMS 68 00:02:28,067 --> 00:02:30,867 THAT JUST HANGS THERE? OR--OR IF I HAD A STRANGE PET? 69 00:02:30,867 --> 00:02:34,127 - OKAY, YEAH. UH, TURTLE? YES, LOVE TURTLES. 70 00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:39,173 PARROT? MAYBE. IGUANA, DEAL-BREAKER. 71 00:02:39,167 --> 00:02:42,827 SO HEY, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW. 72 00:02:42,833 --> 00:02:44,403 - IS IT? HAPPY ALMOST BIRTHDAY. 73 00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,800 - OH, THANKS, AND, UM, I WASN'T SURE 74 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,900 IF I WAS GONNA MENTION IT, BUT I'M HAVING THIS, LIKE, 75 00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:53,370 LITTLE GET TOGETHER, JUST WITH A BUNCH OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS, 76 00:02:53,367 --> 00:02:55,067 AND, UM, 77 00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:57,097 I WAS JUST WONDERING IF... 78 00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,530 [sighs] WOULD YOU GO TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY? 79 00:02:59,533 --> 00:03:03,273 NO PRESSURE. JUST IF YOU WANT TO, OF COURSE. 80 00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:06,297 - I THINK I WANT TO, BUT IT DEPENDS. 81 00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:08,330 - ON WHAT? 82 00:03:08,333 --> 00:03:09,873 - WILL THERE BE BALLOONS? 83 00:03:12,967 --> 00:03:14,327 - AND IT BEGINS. 84 00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:17,073 WHEN DO THE "SAVE THE DATE" MAGNETS GO OUT? 85 00:03:17,067 --> 00:03:18,867 - WELL, I, FOR ONE, AM PROUD OF JASON 86 00:03:18,867 --> 00:03:20,667 FOR DIPPING HIS TOE INTO THE FOREIGN WATERS 87 00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,297 OF MATURE RELATIONSHIPS. 88 00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:24,300 - AND I, FOR ONE, WOULD MUCH RATHER HEAR ABOUT TINA 89 00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:26,270 AND HER FAUX BILLY JOE? - HMM. 90 00:03:26,267 --> 00:03:28,167 - SO WHAT'S IT LIKE DATING SOMEONE 91 00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:30,367 WHO PRETENDS TO BE SOMEONE WHO WON A GRAMMY? 92 00:03:30,367 --> 00:03:31,627 - YEAH, I GOTTA PUT AN END TO THAT. 93 00:03:31,633 --> 00:03:33,703 - WHAT? YOU SAID YOU LIKED ETHAN, 94 00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:35,500 THAT HE'S SIMPLE AND SWEET. 95 00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:38,400 - BUT STACE, HE MASCARAS UP AND FRONTS A FAKE BAND. 96 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,300 - HE'S IN A COVER BAND, BABE, THIRD LOWEST FORM OF BAND. 97 00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:43,070 WEDDING BAND, KIDS' BAND, COVER BAND. 98 00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:44,767 - COME ON, NOBODY IS PERFECT. 99 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,767 TRUST ME, WHEN I STARTED DATING ERIC, 100 00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:48,397 I HAD TO OVERLOOK HIS BAND. 101 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,430 - BLACK SCIENTIST WAS BANGING. YOU LOVED US. 102 00:03:50,433 --> 00:03:52,473 - HONESTLY, NOT SO MUCH. 103 00:03:52,467 --> 00:03:54,297 - YOU TOLD ME WE WERE GREAT. 104 00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:56,470 - I SAID YOU WERE GREAT. 105 00:03:56,467 --> 00:03:59,597 LOOK, SOMETIMES WHEN YOU START DATING, YOU TELL LITTLE LIES. 106 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,300 BUT WE'RE WAY PAST THAT NOW, AND I CAN BE HONEST, 107 00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:05,700 AND HONESTLY, YOUR SLOW JAM COVER OF HEY-YA 108 00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:09,700 STILL COMES TO ME IN DREAMS AS A HARBINGER OF THE APOCALYPSE. 109 00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:11,300 - HUH, OKAY. 110 00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:13,200 - LOOK, ALL I'M SAYING IS, 111 00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,400 DON'T GIVE UP ON ETHAN SO EASILY. 112 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:15,630 DON'T BE SHALLOW. 113 00:04:15,633 --> 00:04:17,533 - I'M NOT BEING SHALLOW, I JUST KNOW WHAT I HATE. 114 00:04:17,533 --> 00:04:19,703 BUT OKAY, FINE, I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT. 115 00:04:19,700 --> 00:04:22,200 MAYBE HE DOES THE WHOLE COVER BAND THING AS A HOBBY. 116 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,870 MAYBE HE DOES IT IRONICALLY. 117 00:04:23,867 --> 00:04:26,467 [guitar strumming] 118 00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:29,927 - SO YOU'RE REALLY INTO THIS WHOLE GREEN DAY THING, HUH? 119 00:04:29,933 --> 00:04:33,173 - YEAH, I LIVE LIKE BILLY JOE AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE. 120 00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:37,073 - [sighing] OKAY, LOOK, ETHAN, 121 00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:42,067 YOU'RE GREAT, BUT I JUST, UH... 122 00:04:42,067 --> 00:04:43,967 EXCUSE ME, CAN YOU STOP PLAYING GREEN DAY FOR A SECOND? 123 00:04:43,967 --> 00:04:46,267 I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING KINDA NICE BUT ULTIMATELY MEAN. 124 00:04:46,267 --> 00:04:48,827 - THIS? IT'S NOT GREEN DAY. 125 00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:50,273 THIS IS JUST SOMETHING I MADE UP. 126 00:04:50,267 --> 00:04:52,527 - OH. 127 00:04:52,533 --> 00:04:55,103 HUH. THAT'S REALLY PRETTY, EETH, 128 00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:58,230 DO YOU GUYS EVER PLAY ORIGINAL SONGS LIKE THAT? 129 00:04:58,233 --> 00:05:00,803 - REHEARSAL TIME. LOSE THE GROUPIE. 130 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,570 - YEAH, LOSE THE GROUPIE. 131 00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:04,167 - STAY, TEEN, I'LL SING TO YOU. 132 00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:06,267 [kiss] 133 00:05:07,567 --> 00:05:09,067 - HMM. 134 00:05:09,067 --> 00:05:11,067 [doorbell jingles] 135 00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:13,227 - OH, YOU LOOK SHARP, BOSS. 136 00:05:13,233 --> 00:05:15,073 LIKE ELLEN DEGENERES. 137 00:05:15,067 --> 00:05:17,627 MAYBE YOU'LL FIND YOUR PORTIA DE ROSSI TONIGHT. 138 00:05:17,633 --> 00:05:19,233 - THANKS, I THINK. 139 00:05:19,233 --> 00:05:22,133 UH, OKAY, I NEED TO FIND A BIRTHDAY PRESENT. 140 00:05:22,133 --> 00:05:24,873 JUST SOMETHING FUNNY AND INEXPENSIVE. 141 00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:26,567 - PERHAPS A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK CONDOM? 142 00:05:26,567 --> 00:05:27,867 ALWAYS HUMOROUS. 143 00:05:27,867 --> 00:05:30,697 IT MAKES YOUR MAN-BONE LOOK LIKE A LIGHTSABER. 144 00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:32,170 - COOL. OKAY, UM, 145 00:05:32,167 --> 00:05:36,367 I THINK I'LL GO WITH ONE OF THE SCRATCH-OFF LOTTERY TICKETS, 146 00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:38,827 OH, A TREE AIR FRESHENER. 147 00:05:38,833 --> 00:05:41,203 YELLOW TREE IS MY FAVORITE. IT SMELLS LIKE A GOOD STRIPPER. 148 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,630 - WHAT DOES BAD STRIPPER SMELL LIKE? 149 00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:44,373 - BROWN. - HUH. 150 00:05:44,367 --> 00:05:46,367 OH, NICE, YEAH. 151 00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:49,467 THINK I'LL TAKE ONE OF THESE CHOCOLATE VIRGIN MARYS. 152 00:05:49,467 --> 00:05:51,267 I MEAN, I THINK SHE'S GONNA THINK THIS IS FUNNY. 153 00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,167 THIS IS FUNNY, RIGHT? 154 00:05:53,167 --> 00:05:55,067 - HILARIOUS. 155 00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:57,597 $7.85. 156 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,300 - SHUH! SHH! SHH! 157 00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:01,070 SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH, 158 00:06:01,067 --> 00:06:02,067 SHH! 159 00:06:03,067 --> 00:06:04,427 [gasps] 160 00:06:04,433 --> 00:06:06,233 [sighs] OH. 161 00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,633 - THAT WAS LIKE, UH, SEX WITH A LIBRARIAN. 162 00:06:08,633 --> 00:06:11,203 - OH, THAT WAS KIND OF AMAZING. 163 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,770 - WELL, I'M GLAD IT WAS FOR YOU, BABE, 164 00:06:13,767 --> 00:06:15,827 BUT HONESTLY, IT WASN'T GREAT FOR ME. 165 00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:17,273 - REALLY? 166 00:06:17,267 --> 00:06:18,627 - YEAH, IT'S JUST, I DON'T LOVE 167 00:06:18,633 --> 00:06:21,303 WHEN YOU'RE ON TOP THE ENTIRE TIME. 168 00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:23,970 I FEEL SUPER-SUBMISSIVE AND AMISH, 169 00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,427 LIKE A FEMALE AMISH PERSON. 170 00:06:25,433 --> 00:06:28,473 - BUT YOU ALWAYS SAY YOU LIKE IT WHEN I DRIVE US HOME. 171 00:06:28,467 --> 00:06:31,827 - I KNOW, BUT WE'RE PAST THOSE LITTLE LIES NOW, RIGHT, BABE? 172 00:06:31,833 --> 00:06:34,803 - MWA. I'M GONNA GET SOME WATER. 173 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,500 [grunts] 174 00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:40,970 [laughter and chatter] 175 00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:43,067 - SO THIS ISN'T INTIMIDATING AT ALL. 176 00:06:43,067 --> 00:06:45,067 - DON'T BE SCARED, MOST OF THEM ARE VEGAN. 177 00:06:45,067 --> 00:06:46,497 - MMM, I'M NOT. 178 00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:49,270 - OH, NEVER TRUST THE CARNIVORE. I LEARNED THAT THE HARD WAY. 179 00:06:49,267 --> 00:06:50,497 - OH YEAH? - YEAH, THIS IS, UH, 180 00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:52,870 A PROSTHETIC, ACTUALLY, A LION ATE MY LEG, 181 00:06:52,867 --> 00:06:55,667 AND MY DREAM OF BEING ON AMERICA'S NEXT BEST DANCE CREW. 182 00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:58,067 [laughter] 183 00:06:58,067 --> 00:06:59,227 - HE IS FUNNY. 184 00:06:59,233 --> 00:07:01,203 - YEAH. I TALKED YOU UP. 185 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:04,430 - OH, WOW. I'VE NEVER BEEN TO A PARTY WHERE I'VE BEEN TALKED UP. 186 00:07:04,433 --> 00:07:05,973 IT'S A GOOD THING I EXFOLIATED. 187 00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,667 [laughter] 188 00:07:07,667 --> 00:07:08,897 [single rock guitar chord] 189 00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:10,400 - YOU HAVING FUN? 190 00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,130 - YEAH, THIS IS JUST LIKE HIGH SCHOOL. 191 00:07:12,133 --> 00:07:14,073 WHO WANTS TO FEEL ME UP UNDER THE BLEACHERS? 192 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:17,227 - WHAT'S SEXIER, GREG, THIS... 193 00:07:17,233 --> 00:07:20,203 OR THIS...? 194 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:21,800 - THEY'RE BOTH SUPER-SEXY, ROB. 195 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,300 - GUYS, WHAT SHOULD THE CLOSER BE? 196 00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:25,870 - TIME OF YOUR LIFE, LIKE ALWAYS. 197 00:07:25,867 --> 00:07:27,067 - IT'S A NO-BRAINER. 198 00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:28,527 - YEAH, BUT IT'S SO SAD. 199 00:07:28,533 --> 00:07:31,633 MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY SOMETHING NEW, HAPPIER. 200 00:07:31,633 --> 00:07:33,773 - UH, SOMETHING NEW SOUNDS INTERESTING. 201 00:07:33,767 --> 00:07:36,327 HAVE YOU GUYS EVER THOUGHT ABOUT PLAYING ORIGINAL SONGS? 202 00:07:36,333 --> 00:07:37,533 ETHAN WAS PLAYING SOMETHING BEFORE 203 00:07:37,533 --> 00:07:38,933 THAT SOUNDED REALLY GREAT. 204 00:07:38,933 --> 00:07:42,403 - OH, WHEN I SAID NEW, I MEANT LIKE A NEW GREEN DAY SONG. 205 00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,330 WE PLAY GREEN DAY SONGS. 206 00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:46,233 - YEAH, YOU'RE IN A COVER BAND, I TOTALLY GOT THAT, 207 00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,933 BUT MAYBE YOU COULD ALSO BE IN, LIKE, A BAND-BAND? 208 00:07:48,933 --> 00:07:50,473 - NOT INTERESTED. 209 00:07:50,467 --> 00:07:52,397 SEE, WE'RE NOT LIKE THE THOUSANDS OF OTHER 210 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:56,470 BROOKLYN GROUPS, WE ACTUALLY PLAY MUSIC TO PAY OUR BILLS. 211 00:07:56,467 --> 00:08:00,197 WE DON'T ALSO HAVE TO BARTEND AND GIVE SPORTS MASSAGES. 212 00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:01,670 - BUT WHY NOT TRY SOMETHING NEW? 213 00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:04,197 I MEAN, I NEVER LIKED ROMPERS, AND THEN ONE DAY I TRIED ONE, 214 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,970 NOW I'M ROMPING ALL AROUND TOWN. 215 00:08:05,967 --> 00:08:08,597 LOOK, ETHAN'S SONG IS REALLY GOOD, YOU GUYS. 216 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:09,870 I'M SURE IF YOU WORKED ON IT, 217 00:08:09,867 --> 00:08:12,627 YOU COULD BE BETTER THAN GREEN DAY. 218 00:08:12,633 --> 00:08:14,103 - HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO DOOKIE 219 00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:16,070 IN ITS ENTIRETY ON REALLY GOOD HEADPHONES? 220 00:08:16,067 --> 00:08:17,867 - NO. - THEN YOU ARE AN IDIOT. 221 00:08:17,867 --> 00:08:19,127 - HEY. - IT'S A STATEMENT OF FACT. 222 00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:21,503 - OKAY, THE TOOL IN THE TANK TOP JUST CALLED ME AN IDIOT, 223 00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,670 SO PERHAPS THIS IS A SIGN FROM GOD I SHOULD BE GOING. 224 00:08:23,667 --> 00:08:25,067 - WAIT. 225 00:08:25,067 --> 00:08:28,067 TINA'S RIGHT, YOU GUYS, CAN'T WE TRY ONE ORIGINAL, 226 00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:29,967 AS AN ENCORE? 227 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:31,267 - [sniffs] 228 00:08:31,267 --> 00:08:32,697 FINE. 229 00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:36,170 WASTE OF TIME, BUT FINE. 230 00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:39,867 - YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO DOOKIE, THOUGH. 231 00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:43,067 - OKAY, IT IS PRESENT TIME. 232 00:08:43,067 --> 00:08:45,067 - OH. 233 00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:46,397 IS THAT FOR ME? 234 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,200 - YEAH. - IT'S VERY NICE WRAPPING. 235 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,900 - YEAH, YOU KNOW, I'M BAD WITH TAPE. 236 00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:53,330 - LET'S SEE. 237 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,530 HUH. 238 00:08:58,533 --> 00:09:01,333 UM, THANKS. 239 00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:04,073 - WOW, IT'S BEAUTIFUL, REALLY. 240 00:09:06,567 --> 00:09:09,067 - UH, YEAH, IT'S-- 241 00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:10,797 IT'S A GOOF GIFT, YOU KNOW? 242 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,570 LIKE, IM NOT SAYING YOU SMELL BAD, OR NEED RELIGION, 243 00:09:14,567 --> 00:09:17,597 OR, UH, LUCK. 244 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,500 COME ON, LET'S SCRATCH IT OFF, SEE WHAT-- 245 00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:21,300 - OH. 246 00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:23,130 ALL RIGHT. 247 00:09:23,133 --> 00:09:24,673 [scratching] 248 00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:26,927 - YAY. - OH, MY GOD. WHOA. 249 00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:29,833 YOU JUST-- YOU JUST ACTUALLY WON $8. 250 00:09:29,833 --> 00:09:33,503 THAT'S LIKE--IT'S LIKE AN ALMOND CROISSANT, OR SOMETHING, 251 00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:36,600 AT, LIKE, A FANCY CAFE. 252 00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,430 - UH. 253 00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:50,200 [electric guitar notes droning] 254 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,100 - UGH. [drum crash and sticks falling] 255 00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:55,070 WE ARE NEVER GONNA WRITE A BETTER SONG THAN GREEN DAY. 256 00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:56,427 - CLEARLY. IT'S LIKE THE HOME BREWER 257 00:09:56,433 --> 00:09:58,573 TRYING TO MAKE BETTER BEER THAN BUDWEISER. 258 00:09:58,567 --> 00:10:01,367 - OH. JESUS, I AM NOT THE CHEERLEADER TYPE, 259 00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:04,027 BUT FIRECRACKER. FIRECRACKER, BITCHES! 260 00:10:04,033 --> 00:10:07,473 - YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING MUSICIANS AND YOU ARE IN A COVER BAND. 261 00:10:07,467 --> 00:10:10,427 - WE LIVE IN A CITY WITH AN AMAZING MUSIC SCENE, 262 00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:12,503 DON'T YOU WANT TO BE A PART OF IT? 263 00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:14,030 WELL, DON'T YOU? 264 00:10:14,033 --> 00:10:16,173 - WHATEVER. SHOW OF HANDS, 265 00:10:16,167 --> 00:10:20,167 TIME OF YOUR LIFE IS AND WILL FOREVER BE 266 00:10:20,167 --> 00:10:22,067 A GREEN DAY COVER BAND. AYE. 267 00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:24,097 - AYE. 268 00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:26,903 - AYE. 269 00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:28,930 - GIRL LOSES, MUSIC WINS, TACO TIME. 270 00:10:28,933 --> 00:10:30,133 - MMM. 271 00:10:30,133 --> 00:10:31,573 - SORRY, BABE. 272 00:10:31,567 --> 00:10:34,327 IT WAS A GREAT SPEECH, THOUGH. 273 00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:35,973 WE TRIED, RIGHT? 274 00:10:38,867 --> 00:10:42,367 - WELL, I'M GONNA GO TAKE A SHOWER. 275 00:10:42,367 --> 00:10:44,627 WANT TO JOIN? 276 00:10:47,467 --> 00:10:50,067 - IT WAS A SILLY GIFT, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? 277 00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:51,127 - MAYBE SHE WAS HOPING FOR SOMETHING 278 00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:52,373 WITH SOME ACTUAL MEANING. 279 00:10:52,367 --> 00:10:54,227 - THERE WAS, I WAS MEANING TO BE FUNNY. 280 00:10:54,233 --> 00:10:55,333 - [laughs] - YOU DON'T GET IT. 281 00:10:55,333 --> 00:10:57,473 YOUR GIFT WAS ALL, IN QUOTES, "IRONIC," 282 00:10:57,467 --> 00:10:59,097 LIKE, "I'M SCARED TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS, 283 00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:01,800 SO CHOCOLATE RELIGIOUS ICONS ARE 'FUNNY.'" 284 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,100 - I GOT IT. 285 00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:06,700 I'LL JUST GO FIND THE PERFECT GIFT. 286 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,530 - OKAY, WE SHOULD GO STUDY, 287 00:11:08,533 --> 00:11:10,633 BUT CAN YOU TOSS YOUR GUM FIRST? 288 00:11:10,633 --> 00:11:13,103 THE WAY YOU SMACKITY-CHEW, IT HONESTLY DRIVES ME CRAZY. 289 00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:15,070 - [spits] 290 00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:17,727 - I GOTTA ADMIT, WHEN YOU TOLD ME TO SAY YOUR NAME, 291 00:11:17,733 --> 00:11:19,973 I WAS A LITTLE WORRIED YOU MEANT BILLY JOE. 292 00:11:19,967 --> 00:11:21,097 - NAH. 293 00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:22,900 IN BED I'M JUST ETHAN. 294 00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,570 - TELL ME MORE ABOUT ETHAN. 295 00:11:24,567 --> 00:11:27,127 IS HE HAPPY JUST PLAYING GREEN DAY SONGS? 296 00:11:27,133 --> 00:11:31,103 - YEAH. ETHAN IS PRETTY HAPPY. 297 00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:33,300 I LOVE BEING BILLY JOE. 298 00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:36,270 I WANT TO KEEP BEING MORE LIKE HIM. 299 00:11:36,267 --> 00:11:38,597 - WELL, THE FACT THAT YOU WRITE ORIGINAL SONGS 300 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,870 IS MASSIVELY BILLY JOE-ISH, 301 00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:43,167 'CAUSE BILLY JOE-- [kiss] 302 00:11:43,167 --> 00:11:44,727 YOU KNOW WHAT HE DOES? 303 00:11:44,733 --> 00:11:47,633 HE PLAYS ORIGINAL SONGS THAT HE WRITES. 304 00:11:47,633 --> 00:11:52,103 - SO TO BE MORE LIKE BILLY JOE, 305 00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:53,570 I HAVE TO BE LESS LIKE BILLY JOE? 306 00:11:53,567 --> 00:11:57,197 - EXACTLY, BUT IF ROB AND GREG KEEP TRYING TO HOLD YOU BACK, 307 00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:01,970 THEN MAYBE IT'S TIME YOU GO OUT ON YOUR OWN. 308 00:12:01,967 --> 00:12:07,527 IT'S SOMETHING UNPREDICTABLE, BUT IN THE END IT'S RIGHT. 309 00:12:07,533 --> 00:12:09,373 - DO PEOPLE BUY THESE IRONICALLY, 310 00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:11,127 OR DO THEY GENUINELY LIKE THEM? 311 00:12:12,533 --> 00:12:13,803 - OY. 312 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,570 [cell phone ringing] - HOLA. 313 00:12:20,567 --> 00:12:22,367 HEAR THIS? 314 00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,427 IT'S THE SOUND OF A COVER BAND SLOWLY DYING. 315 00:12:24,433 --> 00:12:25,773 - GREAT, LISTEN, I NEED YOUR HELP. 316 00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:27,927 UM, I KINDA STRUCK OUT WITH NESS LAST NIGHT. 317 00:12:27,933 --> 00:12:30,633 I BOUGHT HER THIS GOOF GIFT, AND NOT ONLY DID SHE NOT LAUGH, 318 00:12:30,633 --> 00:12:32,073 BUT SHE TOOK IT LIKE I DIDN'T REALLY CARE. 319 00:12:32,067 --> 00:12:33,097 SO WHAT SHOULD I GET HER? 320 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,700 - I DON'T KNOW. IF ALL ELSE FAILS, 321 00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:36,600 JUST GET HER THE SPARKLIEST THING YOU CAN AFFORD. 322 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:37,670 - TINA! 323 00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:38,867 YOU GOTTA HEAR THIS. 324 00:12:38,867 --> 00:12:39,967 - I GOTTA GO BE A MUSE. 325 00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:41,627 I THINK I CONVINCED ETHAN TO GO SOLO. 326 00:12:41,633 --> 00:12:43,173 - WAIT, I THOUGHT YOU WERE TRYING TO ACCEPT HIM 327 00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:44,267 FOR WHO HE IS. 328 00:12:44,267 --> 00:12:45,797 - YES, BUT I PREFER TO ACCEPT HIM 329 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:49,270 FOR WHAT HE MIGHT BE AFTER I IMPROVE HIM. 330 00:12:49,267 --> 00:12:51,367 - UH, BABE, LET'S TALK. 331 00:12:51,367 --> 00:12:53,697 THIS HONESTY THING HAS BEEN ROUGH. 332 00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:55,870 SO WHY DON'T WE TRY TO GET EVERY HONEST COMPLAINT 333 00:12:55,867 --> 00:12:58,067 OUT OF OUR SYSTEMS IN A CONSTRUCTIVE WAY, 334 00:12:58,067 --> 00:12:59,627 AND, UH, MOVE ON. 335 00:12:59,633 --> 00:13:01,873 - UM, ME FIRST? - YES. 336 00:13:01,867 --> 00:13:04,067 - OKAY, UM, 337 00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:06,227 YOU KNOW THAT THING YOU DO WHEN YOU'RE LOOKING IN THE MIRROR, 338 00:13:06,233 --> 00:13:08,403 THAT ZOOLANDER-Y THING YOU DO? - OH, YEAH. MMM. 339 00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,830 - [laughs] YEAH. [both laugh] 340 00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:11,603 UM, WELL, IT KIND OF ANNOYS ME. 341 00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,130 - WELL, I WILL TRY TO MONITOR ALL BLUE-STEELING IN THE FUTURE. 342 00:13:14,133 --> 00:13:15,133 - MY TURN? 343 00:13:15,133 --> 00:13:16,373 YOU SNORE ON OCCASION. 344 00:13:16,367 --> 00:13:18,267 - OH, OKAY, I WILL-- 345 00:13:18,267 --> 00:13:20,967 - AND THERE ARE SOLUTIONS. UH, NASAL STRIPS, MOUTHPIECES, 346 00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,927 IT'S LIKE SLEEPING WITH CHEWBACCA. 347 00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:23,973 [imitates Wookiee call] 348 00:13:23,967 --> 00:13:25,667 - [chuckling] OKAY, GREAT. 349 00:13:25,667 --> 00:13:27,127 UH, ALL RIGHT. - YEAH. 350 00:13:27,133 --> 00:13:32,673 - WELL, UM, YOU KNOW THAT, UH, WORLD OF WARCRAFT-ING ALL NIGHT? 351 00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:34,897 WHERE'S THE GUY THAT READS BOOKS? 352 00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:36,900 YOU KNOW, THOSE THINGS WITH WORDS IN THEM? 353 00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,370 - OH, I GET THAT, BECAUSE ON THE WEEKENDS, 354 00:13:39,367 --> 00:13:41,167 I'M LIKE, "WHERE'S MY GIRLFRIEND? 355 00:13:41,167 --> 00:13:42,497 "OH, YEAH, THERE SHE IS, 356 00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:46,270 ON THE COUCH IN THE SWEATPANTS SHE NEVER TAKES OFF." 357 00:13:46,267 --> 00:13:47,667 - WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO WEAR? 358 00:13:47,667 --> 00:13:48,697 A CAT SUIT? 359 00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:50,070 - ANYTHING THAT DOESN'T SCREAM 360 00:13:50,067 --> 00:13:51,897 BORING, POST-MENOPAUSAL SOCCER MOM. 361 00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:53,800 - BORING? OKAY, WELL, 362 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,130 I HONESTLY THOUGHT YOU WERE BORING ON OUR FIRST DATE. 363 00:13:56,133 --> 00:13:58,303 THAT'S RIGHT, JAY HAD TO CONVINCE ME 364 00:13:58,300 --> 00:14:00,600 TO GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE. 365 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:01,830 - OKAY. 366 00:14:01,833 --> 00:14:03,803 WOW. 367 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:08,070 'CAUSE THAT WAS ONE OF THE BEST NIGHTS OF MY LIFE. 368 00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:11,600 I'M GONNA GO GET A BEER. 369 00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:15,273 [door closes] 370 00:14:17,333 --> 00:14:20,733 - SO, GUYS, I'VE BEEN DOING SOME THINKING, 371 00:14:20,733 --> 00:14:24,703 AND MY THOUGHTS THAT I'VE BEEN THINKING IS, 372 00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:27,330 I THINK I WANT TO TRY PLAYING OUT ON MY OWN. 373 00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,073 - BILLY JOE NEVER HAD A SOLO PROJECT. 374 00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:30,867 - THAT'S TRUE. - STAY STRONG. 375 00:14:30,867 --> 00:14:35,867 - WOW, SOUNDS GREAT, EETH. GOOD LUCK. 376 00:14:35,867 --> 00:14:38,327 BUT YOU'RE OUT OF THIS BAND. 377 00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:41,603 GREG AND I NEED A BILLY JOE WHO CAN COMMIT, 378 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:45,070 ONE WHO DOESN'T WEAR FAKE-ASS TATTOOS. 379 00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:47,327 - THIS ONE'S REAL. - WE ALL AGREED, 380 00:14:47,333 --> 00:14:48,603 NO ORIGINALS. 381 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,530 BUT I GUESS YOU'RE LIKE THIS MASCARA. 382 00:14:51,533 --> 00:14:53,833 IT SAYS IT LENGTHENS AND THICKENS, 383 00:14:53,833 --> 00:14:55,273 BUT IT ONLY THICKENS. 384 00:14:55,267 --> 00:14:57,527 IT ONLY THICKENS! 385 00:14:57,533 --> 00:15:00,403 EVERYBODY LIES! 386 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,970 NOT ME, BRO. 387 00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:05,067 GOOD LUCK... 388 00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:06,497 TO YOU AND YOKO. 389 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,830 - YEAH, THAT'S ME, YOKO. RIGHT. 390 00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:11,433 - YOKO DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS A YOKO EITHER 391 00:15:11,433 --> 00:15:14,973 UNTIL SHE STONE-COLD YOKO-ED THE BEATLES. 392 00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:24,270 - THANKS FOR MEETING ME. 393 00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:28,427 I'M SORRY ABOUT MY GIFT LAST NIGHT. 394 00:15:28,433 --> 00:15:31,173 CLEARLY NOT A HOME RUN. 395 00:15:31,167 --> 00:15:32,967 REALLY, I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE FUNNY. 396 00:15:32,967 --> 00:15:35,097 BUT, UH, 397 00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,470 HERE, I GOT YOU SOMETHING SERIOUS. 398 00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:38,227 - OH, NO, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT. 399 00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:44,273 IT'S-- THAT'S VERY FUNNY. 400 00:15:44,267 --> 00:15:46,527 I DO, OKAY. 401 00:15:46,533 --> 00:15:48,733 GREAT JOKE, JAY. 402 00:15:48,733 --> 00:15:50,673 WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, NESS. 403 00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:54,567 NESS! WHAT THE HELL? 404 00:15:54,567 --> 00:15:57,167 - DON'T WORRY, SON, SHE'LL COME AROUND. 405 00:15:57,167 --> 00:16:01,367 I PROPOSED FOUR TIMES BEFORE HELEN FINALLY SAID YES. 406 00:16:01,367 --> 00:16:03,327 [snaps fingers] [grunts] 407 00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:10,200 - * AIN'T GONNA TRY TO WIN YOUR HEART THIS TIME * 408 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,400 - WHAT DO YOU THINK? 409 00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:12,900 KIND OF LOOKS LIKE AN ENGAGEMENT RING TO ME. 410 00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:14,900 - UGH! DUDE, I KEEP SCREWING UP, 411 00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:16,830 BUT I REALLY LIKE THIS GIRL. 412 00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:18,103 - SO TELL HER THAT. 413 00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:19,270 - SHE HASN'T TOLD ME SHE LIKES ME. 414 00:16:19,267 --> 00:16:20,467 - WHAT IS THIS, THIRD GRADE? 415 00:16:20,467 --> 00:16:21,927 SHE HAS TO "LIKE" LIKE YOU FIRST? 416 00:16:21,933 --> 00:16:24,533 AND SHE DID TELL YOU WHEN SHE INVITED YOU TO HER BIRTHDAY. 417 00:16:24,533 --> 00:16:26,773 - YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. 418 00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:30,527 - WHOO! [applause] 419 00:16:30,533 --> 00:16:34,203 - HEY, WHERE ARE STACEY AND NESS? 420 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,570 OKAY. 421 00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:37,067 WHILE THE REST OF YOU ARE STUMBLING THROUGH A DARK FOREST 422 00:16:37,067 --> 00:16:40,597 OF SAD FEELINGS, I AM SHERPA-ING MY MAN TO SELF-REALIZATION. 423 00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,900 - OH, HERE HE COMES NOW. 424 00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:46,930 [applause] 425 00:16:46,933 --> 00:16:48,803 - HELLO, NEW YORK. 426 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,330 I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING A GOOD DAY. 427 00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:55,633 WHO WANTS YOUR DAY TO GET A LITTLE MORE ETHAN? 428 00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,703 [laughter] - ALL RIGHT. 429 00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:00,570 THAT'S GOOD, IT'S GOOD. - [clears throat] 430 00:17:00,567 --> 00:17:03,827 [mellow acoustic guitar] 431 00:17:03,833 --> 00:17:07,603 * SOMETIMES YOU WAKE UP 432 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:11,270 * AND YOU LOOK AT YOUR LIFE 433 00:17:11,267 --> 00:17:12,267 ALL RIGHT. 434 00:17:12,267 --> 00:17:14,067 * AND SOME-- AND S-- * 435 00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,927 * AND SOME-- SORRY. SORRY. 436 00:17:15,933 --> 00:17:17,233 [booing] 437 00:17:17,233 --> 00:17:21,373 * AND SOMETIMES YOU THINK THAT * 438 00:17:21,367 --> 00:17:25,067 * YOUR LIFE'S NOT--[coughs]-- SO GOOD * 439 00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:27,067 HOLD ON. [laughs] 440 00:17:27,067 --> 00:17:28,297 [clears throat] 441 00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:29,630 - I FEEL SAD. 442 00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:32,073 - YEAH, CAN WE LOOK AWAY? I'M GETTING HOT NECK. 443 00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:34,697 - I AM YOKO. 444 00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:38,330 JESUS, I YOKO-ED A COVER BAND. 445 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,130 - HEY. 446 00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:43,433 HOW WAS THE SHOW? 447 00:17:43,433 --> 00:17:46,133 - UM, AS MUCH AS YOU HATE BLACK SCIENTISTS, 448 00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:50,273 I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'D THINK ETHAN WAS WORSE. 449 00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:53,227 - HEY, CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING? 450 00:17:53,233 --> 00:17:55,703 - YEAH. 451 00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,070 - LOOK, I HONESTLY LOVE YOU, 452 00:17:58,067 --> 00:18:00,397 AND I REALIZED ON OUR SECOND DATE HOW AWESOME YOU WERE, 453 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:04,630 AND THAT YOU WEREN'T BORING ON OUR FIRST DATE, JUST NERVOUS, 454 00:18:04,633 --> 00:18:06,573 WHICH I LOVE. 455 00:18:06,567 --> 00:18:12,327 AND THAT SECOND DATE, HONESTLY, IT CHANGED MY LIFE. 456 00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:16,203 AND--[laughs]--I THINK THIS HONESTY THING SUCKS, 457 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,300 SO CAN WE JUST GO BACK 458 00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:18,300 TO WHITE LYING TO EACH OTHER SOMETIMES? 459 00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:20,170 - [laughs] I WANT TO LIE TO YOU SO BAD, 460 00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:21,167 I'M GONNA LIE THE HELL OUT OF YOU. 461 00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:22,267 - [laughs] - MMM. 462 00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:25,067 [kissing] 463 00:18:25,067 --> 00:18:27,267 - AHH, I DON'T KNOW. 464 00:18:27,267 --> 00:18:29,327 WHY WOULD WE TAKE HIM BACK? 465 00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:32,203 WE MET TWO BILLY JOES TODAY, EITHER OF THEM WOULD WORK. 466 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:33,570 - ONE HAD A VAN. 467 00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:35,127 - LOOK, THIS WASN'T ETHAN'S FAULT. 468 00:18:35,133 --> 00:18:38,673 I PRESSURED HIM INTO GOING SOLO. 469 00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:40,267 - THAT'S BIG OF HER TO SAY. 470 00:18:40,267 --> 00:18:42,667 I MEAN, MOST YOKOS NEVER OWN UP TO IT. 471 00:18:49,533 --> 00:18:51,803 - HE'S BACK... 472 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,600 ON ONE CONDITION. 473 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,370 YOU AND ETHAN ARE OVER. 474 00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:01,130 - YEAH, OKAY. IT'S FOR THE BEST. 475 00:19:01,133 --> 00:19:04,773 HE DESERVES TO BE WITH A GIRL WHO LOVES HIM FOR THE MAN HE IS. 476 00:19:04,767 --> 00:19:07,967 OR AT LEAST THE MAN HE PRETENDS TO BE SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK. 477 00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,230 - HI, UM, 478 00:19:13,233 --> 00:19:14,833 BEFORE YOU, LIKE, SLAM THE DOOR IN MY FACE, 479 00:19:14,833 --> 00:19:17,433 CAN I JUST SPEAK IN MY DEFENSE? 480 00:19:17,433 --> 00:19:20,133 OKAY, UM, 481 00:19:20,133 --> 00:19:22,833 AT YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY I TOTALLY BLEW IT. 482 00:19:22,833 --> 00:19:28,173 I WAS TRYING TO BE IRONIC AND FUNNY. 483 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:33,067 PROBABLY BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID TO TELL YOU HOW I ACTUALLY FEEL. 484 00:19:33,067 --> 00:19:35,927 THEN, OF COURSE, I ACCIDENTALLY PROPOSED, 485 00:19:35,933 --> 00:19:40,873 AND, UM, THE LESS SAID ABOUT THAT, THE BETTER, SO... 486 00:19:40,867 --> 00:19:43,327 I'M REQUESTING A DO-OVER. 487 00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:53,200 I, UH, I REMEMBER YOU SAID YOU LIKED TURTLES. 488 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,430 IS IT CHEESY? 489 00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,900 * GIRL YOU GOT ME WISHING 490 00:20:04,900 --> 00:20:08,430 * THEY REFUND MY TUITION 491 00:20:08,433 --> 00:20:12,533 * SO CAN SPEND ALL MY MONEY ON ON A SEX-PEDITION * 492 00:20:12,533 --> 00:20:13,533 - * WITH YOU - * I'M WORKING * 493 00:20:13,533 --> 00:20:15,833 * ON A LOVE EQUATION 494 00:20:15,833 --> 00:20:19,003 [laughter] 495 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,030 - OH, MY GOD, I JUST MADE IN MY PANTS. 496 00:20:21,033 --> 00:20:23,203 I'M NOT KIDDING. [laughs] 497 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,770 - YOU KNOW, THIS SONG WAS A LOT BETTER 498 00:20:24,767 --> 00:20:26,197 WHEN I WAS DRINKING GRAIN ALCOHOL. 499 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,430 - BABE, TELL ME YOU DON'T LOVE THIS. 500 00:20:27,433 --> 00:20:29,233 - OH, I LOVE YOU. 501 00:20:29,233 --> 00:20:30,773 - [laughs] - IT GETS BETTER WITH TIME. 502 00:20:30,767 --> 00:20:32,367 [laughter] 36124

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