Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:04,270
- I FEEL LIKE MY LOVE LIFE
2
00:00:04,267 --> 00:00:05,667
IS STARTING TO LOOK LIKE
3
00:00:05,667 --> 00:00:07,697
ONE OF THOSE TIME-LAPSE FILMS
OF A ROTTING DEER CARCASS.
4
00:00:07,700 --> 00:00:09,770
YOU ARE THE WORST PERSON!
5
00:00:09,767 --> 00:00:11,967
- I THINK YOU AND NESS COULD BE
REALLY GREAT TOGETHER.
6
00:00:11,967 --> 00:00:13,967
- JUST DON'T SCREW IT UP
LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO.
7
00:00:13,967 --> 00:00:15,327
- I'LL TRY TO SCREW IT UP
8
00:00:15,333 --> 00:00:16,933
IN A NEW AND AMUSING WAY
FOR YOU.
9
00:00:18,933 --> 00:00:20,973
[barroom chatter and laughter]
10
00:00:20,967 --> 00:00:24,297
- CRAZY, RIGHT? I'VE NEVER DATED
A GUY IN A BAND BEFORE.
11
00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:25,770
- IT'S CRAZY
THAT THERE ARE ANY PROFESSIONS
12
00:00:25,767 --> 00:00:27,427
YOU HAVEN'T
GOTTEN AROUND TO TAPPING.
13
00:00:27,433 --> 00:00:28,873
- OH, DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.
14
00:00:28,867 --> 00:00:31,297
TALES OF MY PROMISCUITY
ARE OVER-EXAGGERATED.
15
00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:32,970
- SO HOW'D YOU MEET THIS GUY,
TEEN?
16
00:00:32,967 --> 00:00:36,227
- ETHAN. TYPICAL STORY,
BOY MEETS GIRL,
17
00:00:36,233 --> 00:00:39,433
BOY FEEDS VODKA SHOTS,
GIRL WAKES UP HAPPY, HUNG OVER,
18
00:00:39,433 --> 00:00:40,803
AND A LITTLE SORE.
19
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,770
- EW.
- ANYWAY, SO FAR SO GOOD.
20
00:00:42,767 --> 00:00:45,927
HE FRONT WHAT SEEMS TO BE
A PRETTY POPULAR BAND,
21
00:00:45,933 --> 00:00:48,503
AND HE'S REALLY SWEET, LIKE,
THE ANTI-BRETT,
22
00:00:48,500 --> 00:00:49,930
AND BETWEEN US GIRLS,
23
00:00:49,933 --> 00:00:52,473
HE'S SKILLED
IN THE WAYS OF LOVEMAKING.
24
00:00:52,467 --> 00:00:53,867
HE LIKES TO WIGGLE IT,
JUST A LITTLE BIT.
25
00:00:53,867 --> 00:00:54,867
- HEY.
- HEY.
26
00:00:54,867 --> 00:00:56,167
[laughter]
27
00:00:56,167 --> 00:00:59,567
- SUPER-STOKED YOU'RE HERE.
TINA, VODKA SODA.
28
00:00:59,567 --> 00:01:01,667
- OH, YOU'RE THE SWEETEST.
- HERE, TAKE THESE.
29
00:01:01,667 --> 00:01:03,967
FREE DRINKS, COURTESY
OF MY BAND, TIME OF YOUR LIFE.
30
00:01:03,967 --> 00:01:05,827
- OH, YOU'RE RIGHT,
HE IS THE SWEETEST.
31
00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:07,773
- IT'S SO COOL,
YOU GUYS ALL CAME TO SEE US.
32
00:01:07,767 --> 00:01:10,127
OKAY.
[kiss]
33
00:01:10,133 --> 00:01:12,273
I GOTTA GO GET INTO CHARACTER.
- [laughs]
34
00:01:12,267 --> 00:01:14,697
- SO, ANYONE WANT SOME MORE
OF THIS WATERY BEER?
35
00:01:14,700 --> 00:01:15,770
- UH, YES.
- ME, PLEASE.
36
00:01:15,767 --> 00:01:17,327
- I DO.
- [laughs]
37
00:01:17,333 --> 00:01:20,303
- SHE'S DIFFERENT THAN YOUR
USUAL TYPE, JAY. SHE'S SANE.
38
00:01:20,300 --> 00:01:22,300
- YEAH, I'M NOT EVEN
A LITTLE BIT SICK OF HER.
39
00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:23,330
NO COMPLAINTS.
[laughter]
40
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:24,433
- SO ROMANTIC.
41
00:01:24,433 --> 00:01:25,503
[cheers]
42
00:01:25,500 --> 00:01:27,530
- COME ON.
43
00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:33,970
[cheers]
44
00:01:33,967 --> 00:01:35,897
- HELLO, NEW YORK!
45
00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:38,430
[cheers and applause]
46
00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:40,803
- I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING
A GOOD DAY.
47
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:44,400
BUT WHO WANTS THEIR DAY
TO GET A LITTLE GREENER?
48
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,730
[cheers]
49
00:01:46,733 --> 00:01:49,233
ARE THERE ANY AMERICAN IDIOTS
IN THE HOUSE?
50
00:01:49,233 --> 00:01:51,103
[cheers]
- [laughs]
51
00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:52,900
[electric guitar chord]
52
00:01:52,900 --> 00:01:55,600
- OH, "TIME OF YOUR LIFE,"
I GET IT NOW.
53
00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:57,870
- YOU, MY FRIEND,
ARE DATING THE LEAD SINGER
54
00:01:57,867 --> 00:02:00,227
OF A GREEN DAY COVER BAND.
55
00:02:00,233 --> 00:02:02,903
- MY GRANDPARENTS LOVED THEM
ON BROADWAY.
56
00:02:02,900 --> 00:02:04,730
- WELL, [bleep] ME.
57
00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:07,733
[rock music]
58
00:02:07,733 --> 00:02:10,333
*
59
00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:11,773
[kissing]
60
00:02:11,767 --> 00:02:14,067
- MMM.
61
00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,097
- YOU KISS PRETTY GOOD
FOR A DUDE.
62
00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:19,070
- I'VE BEEN PRACTICING ON THE
BACK OF MY HAND SINCE I WAS 11.
63
00:02:19,067 --> 00:02:20,627
WOULD YOU DATE ME
IF I WAS BAD?
64
00:02:20,633 --> 00:02:23,073
- MAYBE, I'D HAVE TO KNOW MORE
ABOUT YOUR FINANCES.
65
00:02:23,067 --> 00:02:24,067
- WHAT IF I WAS
IN A COVER BAND?
66
00:02:24,067 --> 00:02:25,397
- NO, DEFINITELY NOT.
67
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,070
- WHAT IF I HAD
ONE OF THOSE REALLY TINY ARMS
68
00:02:28,067 --> 00:02:30,867
THAT JUST HANGS THERE?
OR--OR IF I HAD A STRANGE PET?
69
00:02:30,867 --> 00:02:34,127
- OKAY, YEAH.
UH, TURTLE? YES, LOVE TURTLES.
70
00:02:34,133 --> 00:02:39,173
PARROT? MAYBE.
IGUANA, DEAL-BREAKER.
71
00:02:39,167 --> 00:02:42,827
SO HEY,
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW.
72
00:02:42,833 --> 00:02:44,403
- IS IT?
HAPPY ALMOST BIRTHDAY.
73
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:47,800
- OH, THANKS, AND, UM,
I WASN'T SURE
74
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,900
IF I WAS GONNA MENTION IT,
BUT I'M HAVING THIS, LIKE,
75
00:02:49,900 --> 00:02:53,370
LITTLE GET TOGETHER, JUST WITH
A BUNCH OF MY CLOSEST FRIENDS,
76
00:02:53,367 --> 00:02:55,067
AND, UM,
77
00:02:55,067 --> 00:02:57,097
I WAS JUST WONDERING IF...
78
00:02:57,100 --> 00:02:59,530
[sighs] WOULD YOU GO
TO MY BIRTHDAY PARTY?
79
00:02:59,533 --> 00:03:03,273
NO PRESSURE.
JUST IF YOU WANT TO, OF COURSE.
80
00:03:03,267 --> 00:03:06,297
- I THINK I WANT TO,
BUT IT DEPENDS.
81
00:03:06,300 --> 00:03:08,330
- ON WHAT?
82
00:03:08,333 --> 00:03:09,873
- WILL THERE BE BALLOONS?
83
00:03:12,967 --> 00:03:14,327
- AND IT BEGINS.
84
00:03:14,333 --> 00:03:17,073
WHEN DO THE "SAVE THE DATE"
MAGNETS GO OUT?
85
00:03:17,067 --> 00:03:18,867
- WELL, I, FOR ONE,
AM PROUD OF JASON
86
00:03:18,867 --> 00:03:20,667
FOR DIPPING HIS TOE
INTO THE FOREIGN WATERS
87
00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,297
OF MATURE RELATIONSHIPS.
88
00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:24,300
- AND I, FOR ONE, WOULD
MUCH RATHER HEAR ABOUT TINA
89
00:03:24,300 --> 00:03:26,270
AND HER FAUX BILLY JOE?
- HMM.
90
00:03:26,267 --> 00:03:28,167
- SO WHAT'S IT LIKE
DATING SOMEONE
91
00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:30,367
WHO PRETENDS TO BE
SOMEONE WHO WON A GRAMMY?
92
00:03:30,367 --> 00:03:31,627
- YEAH, I GOTTA PUT AN END
TO THAT.
93
00:03:31,633 --> 00:03:33,703
- WHAT?
YOU SAID YOU LIKED ETHAN,
94
00:03:33,700 --> 00:03:35,500
THAT HE'S SIMPLE AND SWEET.
95
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:38,400
- BUT STACE, HE MASCARAS UP
AND FRONTS A FAKE BAND.
96
00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:41,300
- HE'S IN A COVER BAND, BABE,
THIRD LOWEST FORM OF BAND.
97
00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:43,070
WEDDING BAND, KIDS' BAND,
COVER BAND.
98
00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:44,767
- COME ON,
NOBODY IS PERFECT.
99
00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:46,767
TRUST ME,
WHEN I STARTED DATING ERIC,
100
00:03:46,767 --> 00:03:48,397
I HAD TO OVERLOOK HIS BAND.
101
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,430
- BLACK SCIENTIST WAS BANGING.
YOU LOVED US.
102
00:03:50,433 --> 00:03:52,473
- HONESTLY,
NOT SO MUCH.
103
00:03:52,467 --> 00:03:54,297
- YOU TOLD ME
WE WERE GREAT.
104
00:03:54,300 --> 00:03:56,470
- I SAID YOU WERE GREAT.
105
00:03:56,467 --> 00:03:59,597
LOOK, SOMETIMES WHEN YOU START
DATING, YOU TELL LITTLE LIES.
106
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:02,300
BUT WE'RE WAY PAST THAT NOW,
AND I CAN BE HONEST,
107
00:04:02,300 --> 00:04:05,700
AND HONESTLY,
YOUR SLOW JAM COVER OF HEY-YA
108
00:04:05,700 --> 00:04:09,700
STILL COMES TO ME IN DREAMS AS
A HARBINGER OF THE APOCALYPSE.
109
00:04:09,700 --> 00:04:11,300
- HUH, OKAY.
110
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:13,200
- LOOK,
ALL I'M SAYING IS,
111
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,400
DON'T GIVE UP ON ETHAN
SO EASILY.
112
00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:15,630
DON'T BE SHALLOW.
113
00:04:15,633 --> 00:04:17,533
- I'M NOT BEING SHALLOW,
I JUST KNOW WHAT I HATE.
114
00:04:17,533 --> 00:04:19,703
BUT OKAY, FINE,
I'LL GIVE IT A SHOT.
115
00:04:19,700 --> 00:04:22,200
MAYBE HE DOES THE WHOLE
COVER BAND THING AS A HOBBY.
116
00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:23,870
MAYBE HE DOES IT
IRONICALLY.
117
00:04:23,867 --> 00:04:26,467
[guitar strumming]
118
00:04:26,467 --> 00:04:29,927
- SO YOU'RE REALLY INTO
THIS WHOLE GREEN DAY THING, HUH?
119
00:04:29,933 --> 00:04:33,173
- YEAH, I LIVE LIKE BILLY JOE
AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE.
120
00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:37,073
- [sighing] OKAY,
LOOK, ETHAN,
121
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:42,067
YOU'RE GREAT,
BUT I JUST, UH...
122
00:04:42,067 --> 00:04:43,967
EXCUSE ME, CAN YOU STOP
PLAYING GREEN DAY FOR A SECOND?
123
00:04:43,967 --> 00:04:46,267
I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING
KINDA NICE BUT ULTIMATELY MEAN.
124
00:04:46,267 --> 00:04:48,827
- THIS?
IT'S NOT GREEN DAY.
125
00:04:48,833 --> 00:04:50,273
THIS IS JUST SOMETHING
I MADE UP.
126
00:04:50,267 --> 00:04:52,527
- OH.
127
00:04:52,533 --> 00:04:55,103
HUH.
THAT'S REALLY PRETTY, EETH,
128
00:04:55,100 --> 00:04:58,230
DO YOU GUYS EVER PLAY
ORIGINAL SONGS LIKE THAT?
129
00:04:58,233 --> 00:05:00,803
- REHEARSAL TIME.
LOSE THE GROUPIE.
130
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,570
- YEAH,
LOSE THE GROUPIE.
131
00:05:02,567 --> 00:05:04,167
- STAY, TEEN,
I'LL SING TO YOU.
132
00:05:04,167 --> 00:05:06,267
[kiss]
133
00:05:07,567 --> 00:05:09,067
- HMM.
134
00:05:09,067 --> 00:05:11,067
[doorbell jingles]
135
00:05:11,067 --> 00:05:13,227
- OH, YOU LOOK SHARP, BOSS.
136
00:05:13,233 --> 00:05:15,073
LIKE ELLEN DEGENERES.
137
00:05:15,067 --> 00:05:17,627
MAYBE YOU'LL FIND
YOUR PORTIA DE ROSSI TONIGHT.
138
00:05:17,633 --> 00:05:19,233
- THANKS, I THINK.
139
00:05:19,233 --> 00:05:22,133
UH, OKAY, I NEED TO FIND
A BIRTHDAY PRESENT.
140
00:05:22,133 --> 00:05:24,873
JUST SOMETHING FUNNY
AND INEXPENSIVE.
141
00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:26,567
- PERHAPS
A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK CONDOM?
142
00:05:26,567 --> 00:05:27,867
ALWAYS HUMOROUS.
143
00:05:27,867 --> 00:05:30,697
IT MAKES YOUR MAN-BONE
LOOK LIKE A LIGHTSABER.
144
00:05:30,700 --> 00:05:32,170
- COOL.
OKAY, UM,
145
00:05:32,167 --> 00:05:36,367
I THINK I'LL GO WITH ONE OF
THE SCRATCH-OFF LOTTERY TICKETS,
146
00:05:36,367 --> 00:05:38,827
OH, A TREE AIR FRESHENER.
147
00:05:38,833 --> 00:05:41,203
YELLOW TREE IS MY FAVORITE.
IT SMELLS LIKE A GOOD STRIPPER.
148
00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:42,630
- WHAT DOES BAD STRIPPER
SMELL LIKE?
149
00:05:42,633 --> 00:05:44,373
- BROWN.
- HUH.
150
00:05:44,367 --> 00:05:46,367
OH, NICE, YEAH.
151
00:05:46,367 --> 00:05:49,467
THINK I'LL TAKE ONE OF THESE
CHOCOLATE VIRGIN MARYS.
152
00:05:49,467 --> 00:05:51,267
I MEAN, I THINK
SHE'S GONNA THINK THIS IS FUNNY.
153
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,167
THIS IS FUNNY, RIGHT?
154
00:05:53,167 --> 00:05:55,067
- HILARIOUS.
155
00:05:55,067 --> 00:05:57,597
$7.85.
156
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,300
- SHUH!
SHH! SHH!
157
00:05:59,300 --> 00:06:01,070
SHH, SHH, SHH, SHH,
158
00:06:01,067 --> 00:06:02,067
SHH!
159
00:06:03,067 --> 00:06:04,427
[gasps]
160
00:06:04,433 --> 00:06:06,233
[sighs] OH.
161
00:06:06,233 --> 00:06:08,633
- THAT WAS LIKE, UH,
SEX WITH A LIBRARIAN.
162
00:06:08,633 --> 00:06:11,203
- OH, THAT WAS
KIND OF AMAZING.
163
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,770
- WELL, I'M GLAD IT WAS
FOR YOU, BABE,
164
00:06:13,767 --> 00:06:15,827
BUT HONESTLY,
IT WASN'T GREAT FOR ME.
165
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:17,273
- REALLY?
166
00:06:17,267 --> 00:06:18,627
- YEAH, IT'S JUST,
I DON'T LOVE
167
00:06:18,633 --> 00:06:21,303
WHEN YOU'RE ON TOP
THE ENTIRE TIME.
168
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:23,970
I FEEL SUPER-SUBMISSIVE
AND AMISH,
169
00:06:23,967 --> 00:06:25,427
LIKE A FEMALE AMISH PERSON.
170
00:06:25,433 --> 00:06:28,473
- BUT YOU ALWAYS SAY YOU LIKE IT
WHEN I DRIVE US HOME.
171
00:06:28,467 --> 00:06:31,827
- I KNOW, BUT WE'RE PAST THOSE
LITTLE LIES NOW, RIGHT, BABE?
172
00:06:31,833 --> 00:06:34,803
- MWA.
I'M GONNA GET SOME WATER.
173
00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:36,500
[grunts]
174
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:40,970
[laughter and chatter]
175
00:06:40,967 --> 00:06:43,067
- SO THIS ISN'T INTIMIDATING
AT ALL.
176
00:06:43,067 --> 00:06:45,067
- DON'T BE SCARED,
MOST OF THEM ARE VEGAN.
177
00:06:45,067 --> 00:06:46,497
- MMM, I'M NOT.
178
00:06:46,500 --> 00:06:49,270
- OH, NEVER TRUST THE CARNIVORE.
I LEARNED THAT THE HARD WAY.
179
00:06:49,267 --> 00:06:50,497
- OH YEAH?
- YEAH, THIS IS, UH,
180
00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:52,870
A PROSTHETIC, ACTUALLY,
A LION ATE MY LEG,
181
00:06:52,867 --> 00:06:55,667
AND MY DREAM OF BEING ON
AMERICA'S NEXT BEST DANCE CREW.
182
00:06:55,667 --> 00:06:58,067
[laughter]
183
00:06:58,067 --> 00:06:59,227
- HE IS FUNNY.
184
00:06:59,233 --> 00:07:01,203
- YEAH.
I TALKED YOU UP.
185
00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:04,430
- OH, WOW. I'VE NEVER BEEN TO A
PARTY WHERE I'VE BEEN TALKED UP.
186
00:07:04,433 --> 00:07:05,973
IT'S A GOOD THING
I EXFOLIATED.
187
00:07:05,967 --> 00:07:07,667
[laughter]
188
00:07:07,667 --> 00:07:08,897
[single rock guitar chord]
189
00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:10,400
- YOU HAVING FUN?
190
00:07:10,400 --> 00:07:12,130
- YEAH, THIS IS
JUST LIKE HIGH SCHOOL.
191
00:07:12,133 --> 00:07:14,073
WHO WANTS TO FEEL ME UP
UNDER THE BLEACHERS?
192
00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:17,227
- WHAT'S SEXIER, GREG,
THIS...
193
00:07:17,233 --> 00:07:20,203
OR THIS...?
194
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:21,800
- THEY'RE BOTH
SUPER-SEXY, ROB.
195
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,300
- GUYS,
WHAT SHOULD THE CLOSER BE?
196
00:07:23,300 --> 00:07:25,870
- TIME OF YOUR LIFE,
LIKE ALWAYS.
197
00:07:25,867 --> 00:07:27,067
- IT'S A NO-BRAINER.
198
00:07:27,067 --> 00:07:28,527
- YEAH, BUT IT'S SO SAD.
199
00:07:28,533 --> 00:07:31,633
MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY
SOMETHING NEW, HAPPIER.
200
00:07:31,633 --> 00:07:33,773
- UH, SOMETHING NEW
SOUNDS INTERESTING.
201
00:07:33,767 --> 00:07:36,327
HAVE YOU GUYS EVER THOUGHT ABOUT
PLAYING ORIGINAL SONGS?
202
00:07:36,333 --> 00:07:37,533
ETHAN WAS
PLAYING SOMETHING BEFORE
203
00:07:37,533 --> 00:07:38,933
THAT SOUNDED REALLY GREAT.
204
00:07:38,933 --> 00:07:42,403
- OH, WHEN I SAID NEW, I MEANT
LIKE A NEW GREEN DAY SONG.
205
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:44,330
WE PLAY GREEN DAY SONGS.
206
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:46,233
- YEAH, YOU'RE IN A COVER BAND,
I TOTALLY GOT THAT,
207
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,933
BUT MAYBE YOU COULD ALSO BE IN,
LIKE, A BAND-BAND?
208
00:07:48,933 --> 00:07:50,473
- NOT INTERESTED.
209
00:07:50,467 --> 00:07:52,397
SEE, WE'RE NOT LIKE
THE THOUSANDS OF OTHER
210
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:56,470
BROOKLYN GROUPS, WE ACTUALLY
PLAY MUSIC TO PAY OUR BILLS.
211
00:07:56,467 --> 00:08:00,197
WE DON'T ALSO HAVE TO BARTEND
AND GIVE SPORTS MASSAGES.
212
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:01,670
- BUT WHY NOT
TRY SOMETHING NEW?
213
00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:04,197
I MEAN, I NEVER LIKED ROMPERS,
AND THEN ONE DAY I TRIED ONE,
214
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:05,970
NOW I'M ROMPING
ALL AROUND TOWN.
215
00:08:05,967 --> 00:08:08,597
LOOK, ETHAN'S SONG
IS REALLY GOOD, YOU GUYS.
216
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:09,870
I'M SURE
IF YOU WORKED ON IT,
217
00:08:09,867 --> 00:08:12,627
YOU COULD BE
BETTER THAN GREEN DAY.
218
00:08:12,633 --> 00:08:14,103
- HAVE YOU EVER
LISTENED TO DOOKIE
219
00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:16,070
IN ITS ENTIRETY
ON REALLY GOOD HEADPHONES?
220
00:08:16,067 --> 00:08:17,867
- NO.
- THEN YOU ARE AN IDIOT.
221
00:08:17,867 --> 00:08:19,127
- HEY.
- IT'S A STATEMENT OF FACT.
222
00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:21,503
- OKAY, THE TOOL IN THE TANK TOP
JUST CALLED ME AN IDIOT,
223
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:23,670
SO PERHAPS THIS IS A SIGN
FROM GOD I SHOULD BE GOING.
224
00:08:23,667 --> 00:08:25,067
- WAIT.
225
00:08:25,067 --> 00:08:28,067
TINA'S RIGHT, YOU GUYS,
CAN'T WE TRY ONE ORIGINAL,
226
00:08:28,067 --> 00:08:29,967
AS AN ENCORE?
227
00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:31,267
- [sniffs]
228
00:08:31,267 --> 00:08:32,697
FINE.
229
00:08:32,700 --> 00:08:36,170
WASTE OF TIME,
BUT FINE.
230
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:39,867
- YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO DOOKIE,
THOUGH.
231
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:43,067
- OKAY,
IT IS PRESENT TIME.
232
00:08:43,067 --> 00:08:45,067
- OH.
233
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:46,397
IS THAT FOR ME?
234
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:49,200
- YEAH.
- IT'S VERY NICE WRAPPING.
235
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:50,900
- YEAH, YOU KNOW,
I'M BAD WITH TAPE.
236
00:08:50,900 --> 00:08:53,330
- LET'S SEE.
237
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:56,530
HUH.
238
00:08:58,533 --> 00:09:01,333
UM, THANKS.
239
00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:04,073
- WOW,
IT'S BEAUTIFUL, REALLY.
240
00:09:06,567 --> 00:09:09,067
- UH, YEAH, IT'S--
241
00:09:09,067 --> 00:09:10,797
IT'S A GOOF GIFT,
YOU KNOW?
242
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:14,570
LIKE, IM NOT SAYING
YOU SMELL BAD, OR NEED RELIGION,
243
00:09:14,567 --> 00:09:17,597
OR, UH, LUCK.
244
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:19,500
COME ON, LET'S SCRATCH IT OFF,
SEE WHAT--
245
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:21,300
- OH.
246
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:23,130
ALL RIGHT.
247
00:09:23,133 --> 00:09:24,673
[scratching]
248
00:09:24,667 --> 00:09:26,927
- YAY.
- OH, MY GOD. WHOA.
249
00:09:26,933 --> 00:09:29,833
YOU JUST--
YOU JUST ACTUALLY WON $8.
250
00:09:29,833 --> 00:09:33,503
THAT'S LIKE--IT'S LIKE AN
ALMOND CROISSANT, OR SOMETHING,
251
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:36,600
AT, LIKE,
A FANCY CAFE.
252
00:09:36,600 --> 00:09:38,430
- UH.
253
00:09:46,300 --> 00:09:50,200
[electric guitar
notes droning]
254
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,100
- UGH.
[drum crash and sticks falling]
255
00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:55,070
WE ARE NEVER GONNA WRITE
A BETTER SONG THAN GREEN DAY.
256
00:09:55,067 --> 00:09:56,427
- CLEARLY.
IT'S LIKE THE HOME BREWER
257
00:09:56,433 --> 00:09:58,573
TRYING TO MAKE BETTER BEER
THAN BUDWEISER.
258
00:09:58,567 --> 00:10:01,367
- OH. JESUS,
I AM NOT THE CHEERLEADER TYPE,
259
00:10:01,367 --> 00:10:04,027
BUT FIRECRACKER.
FIRECRACKER, BITCHES!
260
00:10:04,033 --> 00:10:07,473
- YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING MUSICIANS
AND YOU ARE IN A COVER BAND.
261
00:10:07,467 --> 00:10:10,427
- WE LIVE IN A CITY
WITH AN AMAZING MUSIC SCENE,
262
00:10:10,433 --> 00:10:12,503
DON'T YOU WANT TO BE
A PART OF IT?
263
00:10:12,500 --> 00:10:14,030
WELL, DON'T YOU?
264
00:10:14,033 --> 00:10:16,173
- WHATEVER.
SHOW OF HANDS,
265
00:10:16,167 --> 00:10:20,167
TIME OF YOUR LIFE IS
AND WILL FOREVER BE
266
00:10:20,167 --> 00:10:22,067
A GREEN DAY COVER BAND.
AYE.
267
00:10:22,067 --> 00:10:24,097
- AYE.
268
00:10:25,833 --> 00:10:26,903
- AYE.
269
00:10:26,900 --> 00:10:28,930
- GIRL LOSES, MUSIC WINS,
TACO TIME.
270
00:10:28,933 --> 00:10:30,133
- MMM.
271
00:10:30,133 --> 00:10:31,573
- SORRY, BABE.
272
00:10:31,567 --> 00:10:34,327
IT WAS A GREAT SPEECH,
THOUGH.
273
00:10:34,333 --> 00:10:35,973
WE TRIED, RIGHT?
274
00:10:38,867 --> 00:10:42,367
- WELL, I'M GONNA GO
TAKE A SHOWER.
275
00:10:42,367 --> 00:10:44,627
WANT TO JOIN?
276
00:10:47,467 --> 00:10:50,067
- IT WAS A SILLY GIFT,
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
277
00:10:50,067 --> 00:10:51,127
- MAYBE SHE WAS HOPING
FOR SOMETHING
278
00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:52,373
WITH SOME ACTUAL MEANING.
279
00:10:52,367 --> 00:10:54,227
- THERE WAS,
I WAS MEANING TO BE FUNNY.
280
00:10:54,233 --> 00:10:55,333
- [laughs]
- YOU DON'T GET IT.
281
00:10:55,333 --> 00:10:57,473
YOUR GIFT WAS ALL,
IN QUOTES, "IRONIC,"
282
00:10:57,467 --> 00:10:59,097
LIKE, "I'M SCARED
TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS,
283
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:01,800
SO CHOCOLATE RELIGIOUS ICONS
ARE 'FUNNY.'"
284
00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:03,100
- I GOT IT.
285
00:11:03,100 --> 00:11:06,700
I'LL JUST
GO FIND THE PERFECT GIFT.
286
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,530
- OKAY,
WE SHOULD GO STUDY,
287
00:11:08,533 --> 00:11:10,633
BUT CAN YOU
TOSS YOUR GUM FIRST?
288
00:11:10,633 --> 00:11:13,103
THE WAY YOU SMACKITY-CHEW,
IT HONESTLY DRIVES ME CRAZY.
289
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:15,070
- [spits]
290
00:11:15,067 --> 00:11:17,727
- I GOTTA ADMIT, WHEN
YOU TOLD ME TO SAY YOUR NAME,
291
00:11:17,733 --> 00:11:19,973
I WAS A LITTLE WORRIED
YOU MEANT BILLY JOE.
292
00:11:19,967 --> 00:11:21,097
- NAH.
293
00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:22,900
IN BED I'M JUST ETHAN.
294
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,570
- TELL ME MORE ABOUT ETHAN.
295
00:11:24,567 --> 00:11:27,127
IS HE HAPPY
JUST PLAYING GREEN DAY SONGS?
296
00:11:27,133 --> 00:11:31,103
- YEAH.
ETHAN IS PRETTY HAPPY.
297
00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:33,300
I LOVE BEING BILLY JOE.
298
00:11:33,300 --> 00:11:36,270
I WANT TO KEEP BEING
MORE LIKE HIM.
299
00:11:36,267 --> 00:11:38,597
- WELL, THE FACT THAT YOU WRITE
ORIGINAL SONGS
300
00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:40,870
IS MASSIVELY
BILLY JOE-ISH,
301
00:11:40,867 --> 00:11:43,167
'CAUSE BILLY JOE--
[kiss]
302
00:11:43,167 --> 00:11:44,727
YOU KNOW WHAT HE DOES?
303
00:11:44,733 --> 00:11:47,633
HE PLAYS ORIGINAL SONGS
THAT HE WRITES.
304
00:11:47,633 --> 00:11:52,103
- SO TO BE MORE
LIKE BILLY JOE,
305
00:11:52,100 --> 00:11:53,570
I HAVE TO BE LESS
LIKE BILLY JOE?
306
00:11:53,567 --> 00:11:57,197
- EXACTLY, BUT IF ROB AND GREG
KEEP TRYING TO HOLD YOU BACK,
307
00:11:57,200 --> 00:12:01,970
THEN MAYBE IT'S TIME
YOU GO OUT ON YOUR OWN.
308
00:12:01,967 --> 00:12:07,527
IT'S SOMETHING UNPREDICTABLE,
BUT IN THE END IT'S RIGHT.
309
00:12:07,533 --> 00:12:09,373
- DO PEOPLE BUY THESE
IRONICALLY,
310
00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:11,127
OR DO THEY GENUINELY
LIKE THEM?
311
00:12:12,533 --> 00:12:13,803
- OY.
312
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,570
[cell phone ringing]
- HOLA.
313
00:12:20,567 --> 00:12:22,367
HEAR THIS?
314
00:12:22,367 --> 00:12:24,427
IT'S THE SOUND OF A COVER BAND
SLOWLY DYING.
315
00:12:24,433 --> 00:12:25,773
- GREAT, LISTEN,
I NEED YOUR HELP.
316
00:12:25,767 --> 00:12:27,927
UM, I KINDA STRUCK OUT WITH NESS
LAST NIGHT.
317
00:12:27,933 --> 00:12:30,633
I BOUGHT HER THIS GOOF GIFT,
AND NOT ONLY DID SHE NOT LAUGH,
318
00:12:30,633 --> 00:12:32,073
BUT SHE TOOK IT
LIKE I DIDN'T REALLY CARE.
319
00:12:32,067 --> 00:12:33,097
SO WHAT SHOULD I GET HER?
320
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,700
- I DON'T KNOW.
IF ALL ELSE FAILS,
321
00:12:34,700 --> 00:12:36,600
JUST GET HER THE SPARKLIEST
THING YOU CAN AFFORD.
322
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:37,670
- TINA!
323
00:12:37,667 --> 00:12:38,867
YOU GOTTA HEAR THIS.
324
00:12:38,867 --> 00:12:39,967
- I GOTTA GO BE A MUSE.
325
00:12:39,967 --> 00:12:41,627
I THINK I CONVINCED ETHAN
TO GO SOLO.
326
00:12:41,633 --> 00:12:43,173
- WAIT, I THOUGHT YOU WERE
TRYING TO ACCEPT HIM
327
00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:44,267
FOR WHO HE IS.
328
00:12:44,267 --> 00:12:45,797
- YES,
BUT I PREFER TO ACCEPT HIM
329
00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:49,270
FOR WHAT HE MIGHT BE
AFTER I IMPROVE HIM.
330
00:12:49,267 --> 00:12:51,367
- UH, BABE,
LET'S TALK.
331
00:12:51,367 --> 00:12:53,697
THIS HONESTY THING
HAS BEEN ROUGH.
332
00:12:53,700 --> 00:12:55,870
SO WHY DON'T WE TRY TO GET
EVERY HONEST COMPLAINT
333
00:12:55,867 --> 00:12:58,067
OUT OF OUR SYSTEMS
IN A CONSTRUCTIVE WAY,
334
00:12:58,067 --> 00:12:59,627
AND, UH, MOVE ON.
335
00:12:59,633 --> 00:13:01,873
- UM, ME FIRST?
- YES.
336
00:13:01,867 --> 00:13:04,067
- OKAY, UM,
337
00:13:04,067 --> 00:13:06,227
YOU KNOW THAT THING YOU DO WHEN
YOU'RE LOOKING IN THE MIRROR,
338
00:13:06,233 --> 00:13:08,403
THAT ZOOLANDER-Y THING YOU DO?
- OH, YEAH. MMM.
339
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:09,830
- [laughs] YEAH.
[both laugh]
340
00:13:09,833 --> 00:13:11,603
UM, WELL,
IT KIND OF ANNOYS ME.
341
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:14,130
- WELL, I WILL TRY TO MONITOR
ALL BLUE-STEELING IN THE FUTURE.
342
00:13:14,133 --> 00:13:15,133
- MY TURN?
343
00:13:15,133 --> 00:13:16,373
YOU SNORE ON OCCASION.
344
00:13:16,367 --> 00:13:18,267
- OH, OKAY, I WILL--
345
00:13:18,267 --> 00:13:20,967
- AND THERE ARE SOLUTIONS.
UH, NASAL STRIPS, MOUTHPIECES,
346
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,927
IT'S LIKE
SLEEPING WITH CHEWBACCA.
347
00:13:22,933 --> 00:13:23,973
[imitates Wookiee call]
348
00:13:23,967 --> 00:13:25,667
- [chuckling]
OKAY, GREAT.
349
00:13:25,667 --> 00:13:27,127
UH, ALL RIGHT.
- YEAH.
350
00:13:27,133 --> 00:13:32,673
- WELL, UM, YOU KNOW THAT, UH,
WORLD OF WARCRAFT-ING ALL NIGHT?
351
00:13:32,667 --> 00:13:34,897
WHERE'S THE GUY
THAT READS BOOKS?
352
00:13:34,900 --> 00:13:36,900
YOU KNOW, THOSE THINGS
WITH WORDS IN THEM?
353
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,370
- OH, I GET THAT,
BECAUSE ON THE WEEKENDS,
354
00:13:39,367 --> 00:13:41,167
I'M LIKE,
"WHERE'S MY GIRLFRIEND?
355
00:13:41,167 --> 00:13:42,497
"OH, YEAH,
THERE SHE IS,
356
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:46,270
ON THE COUCH IN THE SWEATPANTS
SHE NEVER TAKES OFF."
357
00:13:46,267 --> 00:13:47,667
- WHAT DO YOU WANT ME
TO WEAR?
358
00:13:47,667 --> 00:13:48,697
A CAT SUIT?
359
00:13:48,700 --> 00:13:50,070
- ANYTHING
THAT DOESN'T SCREAM
360
00:13:50,067 --> 00:13:51,897
BORING, POST-MENOPAUSAL
SOCCER MOM.
361
00:13:51,900 --> 00:13:53,800
- BORING?
OKAY, WELL,
362
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,130
I HONESTLY THOUGHT YOU WERE
BORING ON OUR FIRST DATE.
363
00:13:56,133 --> 00:13:58,303
THAT'S RIGHT,
JAY HAD TO CONVINCE ME
364
00:13:58,300 --> 00:14:00,600
TO GIVE YOU
A SECOND CHANCE.
365
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:01,830
- OKAY.
366
00:14:01,833 --> 00:14:03,803
WOW.
367
00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:08,070
'CAUSE THAT WAS ONE OF
THE BEST NIGHTS OF MY LIFE.
368
00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:11,600
I'M GONNA GO GET A BEER.
369
00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:15,273
[door closes]
370
00:14:17,333 --> 00:14:20,733
- SO, GUYS,
I'VE BEEN DOING SOME THINKING,
371
00:14:20,733 --> 00:14:24,703
AND MY THOUGHTS
THAT I'VE BEEN THINKING IS,
372
00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:27,330
I THINK I WANT TO TRY
PLAYING OUT ON MY OWN.
373
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:29,073
- BILLY JOE
NEVER HAD A SOLO PROJECT.
374
00:14:29,067 --> 00:14:30,867
- THAT'S TRUE.
- STAY STRONG.
375
00:14:30,867 --> 00:14:35,867
- WOW, SOUNDS GREAT, EETH.
GOOD LUCK.
376
00:14:35,867 --> 00:14:38,327
BUT YOU'RE OUT OF THIS BAND.
377
00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:41,603
GREG AND I NEED A BILLY JOE
WHO CAN COMMIT,
378
00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:45,070
ONE WHO DOESN'T WEAR
FAKE-ASS TATTOOS.
379
00:14:45,067 --> 00:14:47,327
- THIS ONE'S REAL.
- WE ALL AGREED,
380
00:14:47,333 --> 00:14:48,603
NO ORIGINALS.
381
00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:51,530
BUT I GUESS
YOU'RE LIKE THIS MASCARA.
382
00:14:51,533 --> 00:14:53,833
IT SAYS
IT LENGTHENS AND THICKENS,
383
00:14:53,833 --> 00:14:55,273
BUT IT ONLY THICKENS.
384
00:14:55,267 --> 00:14:57,527
IT ONLY THICKENS!
385
00:14:57,533 --> 00:15:00,403
EVERYBODY LIES!
386
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:02,970
NOT ME, BRO.
387
00:15:02,967 --> 00:15:05,067
GOOD LUCK...
388
00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:06,497
TO YOU AND YOKO.
389
00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,830
- YEAH, THAT'S ME, YOKO.
RIGHT.
390
00:15:08,833 --> 00:15:11,433
- YOKO DIDN'T KNOW
SHE WAS A YOKO EITHER
391
00:15:11,433 --> 00:15:14,973
UNTIL SHE STONE-COLD YOKO-ED
THE BEATLES.
392
00:15:21,900 --> 00:15:24,270
- THANKS FOR MEETING ME.
393
00:15:24,267 --> 00:15:28,427
I'M SORRY ABOUT MY GIFT
LAST NIGHT.
394
00:15:28,433 --> 00:15:31,173
CLEARLY NOT A HOME RUN.
395
00:15:31,167 --> 00:15:32,967
REALLY, I WAS JUST
TRYING TO BE FUNNY.
396
00:15:32,967 --> 00:15:35,097
BUT, UH,
397
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:36,470
HERE, I GOT YOU
SOMETHING SERIOUS.
398
00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:38,227
- OH, NO,
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
399
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:44,273
IT'S--
THAT'S VERY FUNNY.
400
00:15:44,267 --> 00:15:46,527
I DO, OKAY.
401
00:15:46,533 --> 00:15:48,733
GREAT JOKE, JAY.
402
00:15:48,733 --> 00:15:50,673
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, NESS.
403
00:15:50,667 --> 00:15:54,567
NESS!
WHAT THE HELL?
404
00:15:54,567 --> 00:15:57,167
- DON'T WORRY, SON,
SHE'LL COME AROUND.
405
00:15:57,167 --> 00:16:01,367
I PROPOSED FOUR TIMES
BEFORE HELEN FINALLY SAID YES.
406
00:16:01,367 --> 00:16:03,327
[snaps fingers]
[grunts]
407
00:16:06,900 --> 00:16:10,200
- * AIN'T GONNA TRY
TO WIN YOUR HEART THIS TIME *
408
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,400
- WHAT DO YOU THINK?
409
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:12,900
KIND OF LOOKS LIKE
AN ENGAGEMENT RING TO ME.
410
00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:14,900
- UGH!
DUDE, I KEEP SCREWING UP,
411
00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:16,830
BUT I REALLY LIKE
THIS GIRL.
412
00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:18,103
- SO TELL HER THAT.
413
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:19,270
- SHE HASN'T TOLD ME
SHE LIKES ME.
414
00:16:19,267 --> 00:16:20,467
- WHAT IS THIS,
THIRD GRADE?
415
00:16:20,467 --> 00:16:21,927
SHE HAS TO
"LIKE" LIKE YOU FIRST?
416
00:16:21,933 --> 00:16:24,533
AND SHE DID TELL YOU WHEN
SHE INVITED YOU TO HER BIRTHDAY.
417
00:16:24,533 --> 00:16:26,773
- YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
418
00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:30,527
- WHOO!
[applause]
419
00:16:30,533 --> 00:16:34,203
- HEY, WHERE ARE
STACEY AND NESS?
420
00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:35,570
OKAY.
421
00:16:35,567 --> 00:16:37,067
WHILE THE REST OF YOU ARE
STUMBLING THROUGH A DARK FOREST
422
00:16:37,067 --> 00:16:40,597
OF SAD FEELINGS, I AM SHERPA-ING
MY MAN TO SELF-REALIZATION.
423
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,900
- OH, HERE HE COMES NOW.
424
00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:46,930
[applause]
425
00:16:46,933 --> 00:16:48,803
- HELLO, NEW YORK.
426
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:51,330
I HOPE YOU'RE HAVING
A GOOD DAY.
427
00:16:51,333 --> 00:16:55,633
WHO WANTS YOUR DAY TO GET
A LITTLE MORE ETHAN?
428
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,703
[laughter]
- ALL RIGHT.
429
00:16:58,700 --> 00:17:00,570
THAT'S GOOD, IT'S GOOD.
- [clears throat]
430
00:17:00,567 --> 00:17:03,827
[mellow acoustic guitar]
431
00:17:03,833 --> 00:17:07,603
* SOMETIMES YOU WAKE UP
432
00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:11,270
* AND YOU LOOK AT YOUR LIFE
433
00:17:11,267 --> 00:17:12,267
ALL RIGHT.
434
00:17:12,267 --> 00:17:14,067
* AND SOME--
AND S-- *
435
00:17:14,067 --> 00:17:15,927
* AND SOME--
SORRY. SORRY.
436
00:17:15,933 --> 00:17:17,233
[booing]
437
00:17:17,233 --> 00:17:21,373
* AND SOMETIMES
YOU THINK THAT *
438
00:17:21,367 --> 00:17:25,067
* YOUR LIFE'S NOT--[coughs]--
SO GOOD *
439
00:17:25,067 --> 00:17:27,067
HOLD ON. [laughs]
440
00:17:27,067 --> 00:17:28,297
[clears throat]
441
00:17:28,300 --> 00:17:29,630
- I FEEL SAD.
442
00:17:29,633 --> 00:17:32,073
- YEAH, CAN WE LOOK AWAY?
I'M GETTING HOT NECK.
443
00:17:32,067 --> 00:17:34,697
- I AM YOKO.
444
00:17:34,700 --> 00:17:38,330
JESUS,
I YOKO-ED A COVER BAND.
445
00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,130
- HEY.
446
00:17:42,133 --> 00:17:43,433
HOW WAS THE SHOW?
447
00:17:43,433 --> 00:17:46,133
- UM, AS MUCH AS YOU HATE
BLACK SCIENTISTS,
448
00:17:46,133 --> 00:17:50,273
I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'D THINK
ETHAN WAS WORSE.
449
00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:53,227
- HEY, CAN I TELL YOU
SOMETHING?
450
00:17:53,233 --> 00:17:55,703
- YEAH.
451
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:58,070
- LOOK,
I HONESTLY LOVE YOU,
452
00:17:58,067 --> 00:18:00,397
AND I REALIZED ON OUR SECOND
DATE HOW AWESOME YOU WERE,
453
00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:04,630
AND THAT YOU WEREN'T BORING
ON OUR FIRST DATE, JUST NERVOUS,
454
00:18:04,633 --> 00:18:06,573
WHICH I LOVE.
455
00:18:06,567 --> 00:18:12,327
AND THAT SECOND DATE,
HONESTLY, IT CHANGED MY LIFE.
456
00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:16,203
AND--[laughs]--I THINK
THIS HONESTY THING SUCKS,
457
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:17,300
SO CAN WE JUST
GO BACK
458
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:18,300
TO WHITE LYING TO EACH OTHER
SOMETIMES?
459
00:18:18,300 --> 00:18:20,170
- [laughs] I WANT TO LIE TO YOU
SO BAD,
460
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:21,167
I'M GONNA LIE
THE HELL OUT OF YOU.
461
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:22,267
- [laughs]
- MMM.
462
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:25,067
[kissing]
463
00:18:25,067 --> 00:18:27,267
- AHH, I DON'T KNOW.
464
00:18:27,267 --> 00:18:29,327
WHY WOULD WE
TAKE HIM BACK?
465
00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:32,203
WE MET TWO BILLY JOES TODAY,
EITHER OF THEM WOULD WORK.
466
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:33,570
- ONE HAD A VAN.
467
00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:35,127
- LOOK,
THIS WASN'T ETHAN'S FAULT.
468
00:18:35,133 --> 00:18:38,673
I PRESSURED HIM
INTO GOING SOLO.
469
00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:40,267
- THAT'S BIG OF HER
TO SAY.
470
00:18:40,267 --> 00:18:42,667
I MEAN, MOST YOKOS
NEVER OWN UP TO IT.
471
00:18:49,533 --> 00:18:51,803
- HE'S BACK...
472
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,600
ON ONE CONDITION.
473
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:56,370
YOU AND ETHAN ARE OVER.
474
00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:01,130
- YEAH, OKAY.
IT'S FOR THE BEST.
475
00:19:01,133 --> 00:19:04,773
HE DESERVES TO BE WITH A GIRL
WHO LOVES HIM FOR THE MAN HE IS.
476
00:19:04,767 --> 00:19:07,967
OR AT LEAST THE MAN HE PRETENDS
TO BE SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK.
477
00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,230
- HI, UM,
478
00:19:13,233 --> 00:19:14,833
BEFORE YOU, LIKE,
SLAM THE DOOR IN MY FACE,
479
00:19:14,833 --> 00:19:17,433
CAN I JUST SPEAK
IN MY DEFENSE?
480
00:19:17,433 --> 00:19:20,133
OKAY, UM,
481
00:19:20,133 --> 00:19:22,833
AT YOUR BIRTHDAY PARTY
I TOTALLY BLEW IT.
482
00:19:22,833 --> 00:19:28,173
I WAS TRYING TO BE
IRONIC AND FUNNY.
483
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:33,067
PROBABLY BECAUSE I WAS AFRAID
TO TELL YOU HOW I ACTUALLY FEEL.
484
00:19:33,067 --> 00:19:35,927
THEN, OF COURSE,
I ACCIDENTALLY PROPOSED,
485
00:19:35,933 --> 00:19:40,873
AND, UM, THE LESS SAID
ABOUT THAT, THE BETTER, SO...
486
00:19:40,867 --> 00:19:43,327
I'M REQUESTING
A DO-OVER.
487
00:19:48,500 --> 00:19:53,200
I, UH, I REMEMBER YOU SAID
YOU LIKED TURTLES.
488
00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:55,430
IS IT CHEESY?
489
00:20:02,500 --> 00:20:04,900
* GIRL YOU GOT ME WISHING
490
00:20:04,900 --> 00:20:08,430
* THEY REFUND MY TUITION
491
00:20:08,433 --> 00:20:12,533
* SO CAN SPEND ALL MY MONEY
ON ON A SEX-PEDITION *
492
00:20:12,533 --> 00:20:13,533
- * WITH YOU
- * I'M WORKING *
493
00:20:13,533 --> 00:20:15,833
* ON A LOVE EQUATION
494
00:20:15,833 --> 00:20:19,003
[laughter]
495
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,030
- OH, MY GOD,
I JUST MADE IN MY PANTS.
496
00:20:21,033 --> 00:20:23,203
I'M NOT KIDDING.
[laughs]
497
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,770
- YOU KNOW, THIS SONG
WAS A LOT BETTER
498
00:20:24,767 --> 00:20:26,197
WHEN I WAS DRINKING
GRAIN ALCOHOL.
499
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:27,430
- BABE, TELL ME
YOU DON'T LOVE THIS.
500
00:20:27,433 --> 00:20:29,233
- OH, I LOVE YOU.
501
00:20:29,233 --> 00:20:30,773
- [laughs]
- IT GETS BETTER WITH TIME.
502
00:20:30,767 --> 00:20:32,367
[laughter]
36124
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.