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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:05,000 - THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH ME, 2 00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:06,630 EXCEPT THAT I'M JOBLESS AND STILL INTERESTED IN GIRLS, 3 00:00:06,633 --> 00:00:08,633 WHICH IS LIKE BEING DEAD AND STILL WANTING TO BREATHE. 4 00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:10,573 - WHOO! - SITTING IN A SEA 5 00:00:10,567 --> 00:00:12,227 FULL OF CARGO SHORTED BOYS ISN'T HELP ME 6 00:00:12,233 --> 00:00:14,903 FORGET ABOUT BRETT. - JANE, HEY--OH. 7 00:00:14,900 --> 00:00:16,870 SORRY. I THOUGHT YOU WERE SOMEBODY ELSE. 8 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,600 - HEY, HEALTHY BREAKFAST. 9 00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:23,170 YOU GETTING READY FOR A TRIATHLON OR SOMETHING? 10 00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:24,867 - WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WE SAID 9:30, JAY. 11 00:00:24,867 --> 00:00:26,467 I'M THE ONE WHO SHOWS UP LATE. 12 00:00:26,467 --> 00:00:27,467 [scoffs] EVERYTHING'S CHANGING. 13 00:00:27,467 --> 00:00:29,667 - SORRY. I HAD TO DO A THING. 14 00:00:29,667 --> 00:00:31,197 - WHAT THING? YOUR THING? 15 00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:32,830 - NO. LOOK, I LEARNED TWO LESSONS IN CAMP-- 16 00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:34,833 HOW TO MAKE LANYARDS, AND NEVER ADMIT TO MASTURBATING. 17 00:00:34,833 --> 00:00:36,833 I WAS ONLINE LOOKING AT JOB LISTINGS. 18 00:00:36,833 --> 00:00:38,803 OKAY, AND BY THE WAY, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE NICE 19 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,870 TO YOUR UNEMPLOYED, QUASI-DESPERATE FRIENDS. 20 00:00:40,867 --> 00:00:42,627 WHAT'S UP? WHY ARE YOU SO CRANKY? 21 00:00:42,633 --> 00:00:43,703 - I HAVE A PROBLEM. 22 00:00:43,700 --> 00:00:46,330 - YEAH. CLEARLY. WHAT? 23 00:00:46,333 --> 00:00:47,333 - SOMETHING'S WRONG... 24 00:00:47,333 --> 00:00:49,573 DOWN THERE. 25 00:00:49,567 --> 00:00:52,097 - OH, MY GOD. ARE YOU PREGNANT? 26 00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:54,570 - NO. NOT UNLESS I'M HAVING A FIRE BABY. 27 00:00:54,567 --> 00:00:56,197 I'M SCARED I HAVE SOMETHING, JAY. 28 00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:59,430 IT'S REALLY BAD. IT'S BUMPY, LIKE... 29 00:00:59,433 --> 00:01:00,703 CROTCH BRAILLE. 30 00:01:00,700 --> 00:01:01,870 - EWW. 31 00:01:01,867 --> 00:01:03,497 - AND IF A BLIND PERSON READ IT, IT WOULD SAY, 32 00:01:03,500 --> 00:01:07,470 "HELP ME. I'M DYING, AND I HATE YOU." 33 00:01:14,233 --> 00:01:16,373 - YOU KNOW, A LOT OF REALLY GREAT PEOPLE HAD STDs. 34 00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:18,697 GEORGE WASHINGTON, NAPOLEON-- - DON'T JOKE. 35 00:01:18,700 --> 00:01:20,130 I'M SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE. 36 00:01:20,133 --> 00:01:21,973 I STOLE SOME GIRL'S LEAN CUISINE OUT OF THE FREEZER 37 00:01:21,967 --> 00:01:23,467 AT WORK YESTERDAY AND SAT ON IT. 38 00:01:23,467 --> 00:01:24,967 - I'M JUST TRYING TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD. 39 00:01:24,967 --> 00:01:26,597 IT'S ALL GONNA BE FINE. I'M SURE IT'S NOTHING. 40 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,070 BUT WHY ARE WE GOING TO A CLINIC? 41 00:01:28,067 --> 00:01:29,467 DOESN'T YOUR JOB GIVE YOU HEALTH INSURANCE? 42 00:01:29,467 --> 00:01:31,367 - YEAH, BUT IT'S, LIKE, THE EMERGENCY KIND. 43 00:01:31,367 --> 00:01:33,267 I HAVE, LIKE, HIT BY A BUS INSURANCE, 44 00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:35,067 OR BIT BY A TIGER INSURANCE. 45 00:01:35,067 --> 00:01:36,727 WHEN YOU GO TO THE LADY DOCTOR, YOU PAY IN FULL, 46 00:01:36,733 --> 00:01:38,073 AND IT'S LIKE $300. 47 00:01:38,067 --> 00:01:39,067 - WE SHOULD'VE BEEN CANADIAN. 48 00:01:39,067 --> 00:01:40,367 - YEAH, STILL NOT WORTH IT. 49 00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:44,067 - [sobbing] 50 00:01:44,067 --> 00:01:45,867 - MAYBE THOSE ARE GOOD NEWS TEARS. 51 00:01:45,867 --> 00:01:48,527 - OH, GOD, THIS IS SO UNFAIR. 52 00:01:48,533 --> 00:01:51,603 I WENT TO A GOOD COLLEGE. I'VE NEVER HAD UNPROTECTED SEX. 53 00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:52,770 WELL, NOT NEVER. 54 00:01:52,767 --> 00:01:54,397 BUT STILL, I'M NOT SOME CLINIC PERSON! 55 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,730 OH, NO OFFENSE. 56 00:01:59,233 --> 00:02:01,233 - OH, HELLO. 57 00:02:01,233 --> 00:02:04,073 - OF COURSE YOU'RE HERE, LENCH. YOU'RE A WALKING HERPIE. 58 00:02:04,067 --> 00:02:06,097 - HA HA, NO. I VOLUNTEER HERE. 59 00:02:06,100 --> 00:02:08,230 I DO. LOOKS GREAT ON THE RES. 60 00:02:08,233 --> 00:02:10,573 PLUS, LENCH LIKES TO GIVE BACK. ONE LOVE, Y'ALL. 61 00:02:10,567 --> 00:02:11,927 HEY, JAY. 62 00:02:11,933 --> 00:02:14,573 - HEY, GUY WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR MY UNEMPLOYMENT. 63 00:02:14,567 --> 00:02:15,697 - HE'S SAYING YOU'RE A DOUCHE 64 00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:17,230 IN HIS NICE, RAISED-IN-THE-MIDWEST WAY. 65 00:02:17,233 --> 00:02:19,103 - LOOK, I FEEL MILDLY BAD ABOUT THAT. 66 00:02:19,100 --> 00:02:20,470 I'M NOT A MONSTER. 67 00:02:20,467 --> 00:02:23,627 ACTUALLY, I MIGHT KNOW OF A JOB FOR YOU. 68 00:02:23,633 --> 00:02:25,073 YEAH. 69 00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:26,867 AN OLD COLLEAGUE OF MINE IS LOOKING TO HIRE SOMEONE 70 00:02:26,867 --> 00:02:28,267 TO HELP DE-CLUTTER HER PLACE. 71 00:02:28,267 --> 00:02:29,767 I COULD TEXT YOU HER INFO IF YOU'RE INTERESTED. 72 00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:33,227 - I'M BROKE, I'M STEALING TOILET PAPER FROM FAST FOOD PLACES. 73 00:02:33,233 --> 00:02:36,073 I'D DO ALMOST ANYTHING FOR MONEY AT THIS POINT, 74 00:02:36,067 --> 00:02:38,267 SO, YEAH, I'M INTERESTED, THANKS. 75 00:02:38,267 --> 00:02:40,797 - NO PROB. LENCH CLEANS HIS MESSES. 76 00:02:40,800 --> 00:02:43,470 ALL RIGHT, I GOT TO JET UPSTATE TO AN ALL-NATURAL SHOOT. 77 00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:47,367 WE'RE DOING A SPREAD WHERE A SUPER-HOT WILCO GROUPIE 78 00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:48,727 HELPS A HORSE BIRTH A FOAL. 79 00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:53,373 BOING, NEIGH, NIPPLES. 80 00:02:53,367 --> 00:02:54,567 - LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. 81 00:02:54,567 --> 00:02:56,497 JUST DO WHAT I DO WHEN I GET SICK: SEE ERIC. 82 00:02:56,500 --> 00:02:58,630 - UGH, FINE. 83 00:02:58,633 --> 00:03:00,733 THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY I'M GONNA BE ABLE TO HANDLE THAT. 84 00:03:00,733 --> 00:03:03,473 - HERE YOU GO. 85 00:03:07,467 --> 00:03:09,367 - UGH. OKAY, I'M READY. JAY, OUT. 86 00:03:09,367 --> 00:03:10,927 - WELL, BEST OF LUCK. 87 00:03:10,933 --> 00:03:13,703 - [exhales] THIS IS LITERALLY MY WORST NIGHTMARE. 88 00:03:13,700 --> 00:03:17,100 - TEEN, I'M NOT JUST A FRIEND. I'M A DOCTOR. 89 00:03:17,100 --> 00:03:18,100 ALMOST. 90 00:03:18,100 --> 00:03:19,670 I CAN HELP YOU. 91 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:21,227 - NO ONE IS JUDGING YOU. 92 00:03:21,233 --> 00:03:25,173 - OKAY. 93 00:03:29,233 --> 00:03:30,233 - ALL RIGHT. 94 00:03:30,233 --> 00:03:34,073 - [exhales] 95 00:03:34,067 --> 00:03:35,527 - OKAY... 96 00:03:35,533 --> 00:03:38,303 [clears throat] 97 00:03:38,300 --> 00:03:40,400 - EEW. 98 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:41,700 - GEE THANKS, STACE. 99 00:03:41,700 --> 00:03:43,230 - NO, IT LOOKS... 100 00:03:43,233 --> 00:03:44,233 PRETTY. 101 00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:45,603 - UGH... 102 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,330 - OKAY, UH... 103 00:03:47,333 --> 00:03:48,533 HERE'S THE DEAL. 104 00:03:48,533 --> 00:03:50,203 IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE WHAT WE MEDICAL TYPES 105 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,070 CALL "THE LITTLE C," CHLAMYDIA. 106 00:03:52,067 --> 00:03:53,367 - NO. 107 00:03:53,367 --> 00:03:54,567 - DON'T PANIC. 108 00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:56,227 THAT'S, LIKE, THE BEST STD YOU CAN GET. 109 00:03:56,233 --> 00:03:57,233 - ARE YOU SURE? 110 00:03:57,233 --> 00:03:58,373 I MEAN, YOU USED TO PARTY A LOT, 111 00:03:58,367 --> 00:03:59,427 AND YOU'VE HAD THOSE GLASSES A WHILE. 112 00:03:59,433 --> 00:04:01,603 - I'M SORRY, BUT I'M SURE. 113 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,330 UH, JUST IN CASE, 114 00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:05,403 LET ME TAKE A PICTURE 115 00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:09,600 TO, UH, SHOW MY COLLEAGUES AT SCHOOL. 116 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:11,830 - THIS BETTER NOT END UP ON SOME WEIRD FETISH SITE. 117 00:04:11,833 --> 00:04:14,573 - CAN'T MAKE ANY PROMISES. 118 00:04:14,567 --> 00:04:15,797 I'M KIDDING, I'M KIDDING. [shutter clicks] 119 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:18,070 OH, CRAP, THIS IS BLURRY. 120 00:04:18,067 --> 00:04:19,567 ANGLE YOUR HIPS MORE TOWARDS THE LIGHT, TEEN. 121 00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:25,767 [shutter clicks] GOT IT. 122 00:04:25,767 --> 00:04:27,627 - IT JUST LOOKS ANGRY. 123 00:04:27,633 --> 00:04:29,973 - YEAH, I'M A SURPRISINGLY GOOD CLEANING PERSON. 124 00:04:29,967 --> 00:04:32,597 OKAY, GREAT. I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO MEETING YOU TOO. BYE. 125 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:33,800 - WHO WAS THAT? 126 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:35,730 - UH, JUST A JOB POSSIBILITY. NOTHING HUGE. 127 00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:37,133 SO WHAT'S GOING ON? 128 00:04:37,133 --> 00:04:39,933 - CHLAMYDIA. NAILED IT. - WASH YOUR HANDS. 129 00:04:39,933 --> 00:04:41,403 - NOW WHAT DO I DO? 130 00:04:41,400 --> 00:04:43,570 - ANTIBIOTICS. IT'S TOTALLY TREATABLE, DON'T WORRY. 131 00:04:43,567 --> 00:04:45,727 WHAT YOU ALSO NEED TO DO IS TELL 132 00:04:45,733 --> 00:04:47,703 ANY PARTNERS IN THE PAST YEAR THEY SHOULD SEE A DOCTOR. 133 00:04:47,700 --> 00:04:48,700 IT'S PROTOCOL. 134 00:04:48,700 --> 00:04:51,070 - OH... 135 00:04:51,067 --> 00:04:52,627 - JUST MAKE IT YOUR FACEBOOK STATUS. 136 00:04:52,633 --> 00:04:54,703 - JAY. - WHAT? TOO SOON? 137 00:04:58,767 --> 00:05:03,697 HI, UM, I'M HERE TO CLEAN GWEN DONAHUE'S APARTMENT. 138 00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:05,400 [elevator dings] 139 00:05:06,867 --> 00:05:07,897 - HI, I'M GWEN. 140 00:05:07,900 --> 00:05:09,630 - HI. - YOU MUST BE JASON. 141 00:05:09,633 --> 00:05:12,273 - YEAH. NICE TO MEET YOU. - HI. COME ON IN. 142 00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:17,070 SO WHAT DO YOU THINK? 143 00:05:17,067 --> 00:05:18,967 IS IT, "WOW, THIS IS A BUSY PERSON 144 00:05:18,967 --> 00:05:20,327 WHOSE LIFE HAS GOTTEN AWAY FROM HER" MESSY, 145 00:05:20,333 --> 00:05:23,673 OR IS IT "A TWO-PART EPISODE OF HOARDERS" MESSY? 146 00:05:23,667 --> 00:05:25,327 IF YOU WANT TO RUN AWAY SHRIEKING, I'LL UNDERSTAND. 147 00:05:25,333 --> 00:05:27,873 - NO, PLEASE, THIS IS LIKE, YOU KNOW, 148 00:05:27,867 --> 00:05:29,067 THERE'S BARELY ANYTHING TO DO. 149 00:05:29,067 --> 00:05:31,627 - HMM. YOU'RE CUTE WHEN YOU LIE. 150 00:05:31,633 --> 00:05:33,133 DOES 200 A DAY SOUND FAIR? 151 00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:36,073 - UM, REALLY SUPER FAIR. 152 00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:39,567 - GREAT. LET'S START IN THE BEDROOM. 153 00:05:41,633 --> 00:05:46,803 I'VE KIND OF LET THINGS GO A LITTLE BIT IN HERE. 154 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,670 - OKAY, WELL, I'LL, UH, GET THINGS BACK. 155 00:05:58,167 --> 00:05:59,897 - THINK OF IT THIS WAY-- YOU GET TO RECONNECT 156 00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:02,100 WITH ALL THOSE PEOPLE YOU HAD FUN TIMES WITH. 157 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:04,530 IT'S LIKE A SLIGHTLY ICKY HIGH SCHOOL REUNION. 158 00:06:04,533 --> 00:06:05,773 - WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "ALL THOSE?" 159 00:06:05,767 --> 00:06:07,697 HOW MANY GUYS DO YOU THINK I'VE SLEPT WITH? 160 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,070 [bell jingles] 161 00:06:09,067 --> 00:06:11,267 - STACEY, MY FAVORITE. 162 00:06:11,267 --> 00:06:12,267 TINA... 163 00:06:12,267 --> 00:06:13,267 UGH. 164 00:06:13,267 --> 00:06:14,267 - CAN YOU NOT BE ANNOYING TODAY? 165 00:06:14,267 --> 00:06:16,327 - LIKE YOU, NO. 166 00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:17,773 - SO, ANSWER ME, STACE. 167 00:06:17,767 --> 00:06:19,097 HOW MANY GUYS DO YOU THINK I'VE HAD SEX WITH THIS YEAR? 168 00:06:19,100 --> 00:06:20,100 - UH... 169 00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:21,230 17? 170 00:06:21,233 --> 00:06:23,903 - I'VE HAD SEX WITH THREE GUYS, OKAY? 171 00:06:23,900 --> 00:06:25,330 TWO RANDOS AND BRETT. 172 00:06:25,333 --> 00:06:27,403 - WHAT ABOUT THE SWEDISH GUY WITH THE WHITE BELT? 173 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:30,700 OR THE DJ WHO SPINS "BRUNCH TECHNO"? 174 00:06:30,700 --> 00:06:32,900 - NO! JESUS! HOW BIG OF A SLUT DO YOU THINK I AM? 175 00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:36,730 WHY DON'T YOU JUST ASK ME IF I'VE HAD SEX WITH BOBBY? 176 00:06:36,733 --> 00:06:37,903 - OKAY, YOU KNOW, I'M RIGHT HERE. 177 00:06:37,900 --> 00:06:39,630 AND I WOULD NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU, OKAY, TINA? 178 00:06:39,633 --> 00:06:40,833 STACEY, YOU, YES. 179 00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:43,433 YOU, I WOULD CLEAN LIKE A CAT DOES ITS YOUNG. 180 00:06:43,433 --> 00:06:44,903 - EWW. 181 00:06:44,900 --> 00:06:47,070 - LOOK, I FLIRT, I MAKE OUT, I DON'T BANG EVERYBODY. 182 00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:48,427 JUST THE TWO AND BRETT... 183 00:06:48,433 --> 00:06:51,533 WHO REEMERGED THE OTHER DAY AND SENT ME CHOCOLATES. 184 00:06:51,533 --> 00:06:52,733 - I THOUGHT THAT WAS TOTALLY OVER. 185 00:06:52,733 --> 00:06:54,773 - IT IS, BUT, YOU KNOW, THAT'S OUR RHYTHM. 186 00:06:54,767 --> 00:06:57,067 WE FIGHT, WE DON'T TALK, AND THEN ONE OF US BREAKS, 187 00:06:57,067 --> 00:06:59,227 AND SUDDENLY WE'RE DRINKING WINE AND EATING FLAN SOMEWHERE. 188 00:06:59,233 --> 00:07:02,503 HIS NOTE SAID HE MISSES MY CARAMEL CENTER. 189 00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:03,830 - HE'S GONNA BE BUMMED WHEN HE FINDS OUT, 190 00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:05,333 OOPS, THAT'S NOT CARAMEL. 191 00:07:05,333 --> 00:07:07,203 - OH, GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT. THAT'S GONNA BE HARD. 192 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:08,270 [groans] 193 00:07:08,267 --> 00:07:10,227 - WELL, I'LL BE YOUR BAD NEWS BUDDY. 194 00:07:10,233 --> 00:07:12,073 WE'LL START WITH BRETT, RIP THE BAND-AID OFF, 195 00:07:12,067 --> 00:07:13,367 AND EVERYONE ELSE WILL BE EASY. 196 00:07:13,367 --> 00:07:15,467 - I GUESS. 197 00:07:15,467 --> 00:07:19,327 - OKAY, I'LL JUST GIVE CHANGE TO THE UNINFESTED ONE. 198 00:07:22,067 --> 00:07:24,527 - WOW, IT LOOKS GREAT. 199 00:07:24,533 --> 00:07:27,703 I HAVEN'T SEEN A BED THAT INVITING IN YEARS. 200 00:07:27,700 --> 00:07:30,100 KINDA MAKES ME WANT TO TRY IT OUT. 201 00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:31,770 - OH, OKAY, WELL, I'LL JUST GET OUT OF YOUR WAY, 202 00:07:31,767 --> 00:07:33,297 AND START IN THE LIVING ROOM, THEN. 203 00:07:33,300 --> 00:07:35,070 - YOU... 204 00:07:35,067 --> 00:07:37,227 SMELL PINE FRESH. 205 00:07:37,233 --> 00:07:38,673 - OH, THAT'S THE, UH, FLOOR CLEANER. 206 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,397 MY DEODORANT'S, UH, WINTER BLAST, 207 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:42,230 BUT DOES, LIKE, WINTER REALLY HAVE A SMELL? 208 00:07:42,233 --> 00:07:43,603 - MM-MM. 209 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:44,600 - SO, YOU DIDN'T MEAN TRY IT OUT BY NAPPING, HUH? 210 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:49,270 - MM-MM. 211 00:07:49,267 --> 00:07:52,127 KEEP THE GLOVES ON. 212 00:07:52,133 --> 00:07:54,433 OKAY, LET'S GO. 213 00:07:54,433 --> 00:07:56,673 - THIS IS IT. BRETT'S BUILDING. 214 00:07:56,667 --> 00:07:59,697 - BE STRONG, TEEN. THIS IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. 215 00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:01,670 - I KNOW, I KNOW, IT'S JUST, UH... 216 00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:03,767 DOING THE RIGHT THING PRETTY MUCH MEANS 217 00:08:03,767 --> 00:08:05,667 I'M NEVER GONNA HANG OUT WITH HIM EVER AGAIN. 218 00:08:05,667 --> 00:08:06,667 KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 219 00:08:06,667 --> 00:08:09,767 - DO YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT THAT? 220 00:08:09,767 --> 00:08:11,827 - I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE. I JUST... 221 00:08:11,833 --> 00:08:15,333 I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS OVER-OVER YET. 222 00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:20,273 BUT I-- I GUESS IT IS NOW. 223 00:08:24,967 --> 00:08:26,427 YOU KNOW WHAT? LET'S, UM... 224 00:08:26,433 --> 00:08:29,173 LET'S COME BACK TO HIM. LET'S START WITH SOMEONE ELSE. 225 00:08:29,167 --> 00:08:31,667 IN FACT, LET'S JUST START TOMORROW. 226 00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:33,867 - TEEN, WAIT UP. 227 00:08:45,867 --> 00:08:48,567 - NO, COME ON. YOU'RE DONE. 228 00:08:48,567 --> 00:08:51,727 IT'S YABBA DABBA DOO TIME. DAY'S OVER. 229 00:08:51,733 --> 00:08:53,473 - OKAY, WELL, I DIDN'T REALLY GET THAT MUCH FINISHED. 230 00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:56,067 - OH, NO, YOU DID PLENTY. 231 00:08:56,067 --> 00:08:58,797 AN AMAZING JOB. THANKS. 232 00:09:11,700 --> 00:09:12,700 - I'M JUST SAYING IT WAS WEIRD, 233 00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:14,400 BECAUSE NOT ONLY DID I HAVE SEX WITH HER, 234 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,130 BUT THEN SHE PAID ME RIGHT AFTER. 235 00:09:16,133 --> 00:09:18,233 WHAT DO YOU GUYS THINK? - I THINK THIS IS GOOD. 236 00:09:18,233 --> 00:09:19,933 LET'S TALK ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE'S SHAME FOR A MINUTE. 237 00:09:19,933 --> 00:09:21,673 - WHAT ARE YOU ASKING, JAY? 238 00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:22,927 ARE YOU SAYING SHE PAID YOU FOR SEX? 239 00:09:22,933 --> 00:09:25,233 YOU JUST HOOKED UP WITH YOUR BOSS, EVERYONE DOES IT. 240 00:09:25,233 --> 00:09:27,333 - FOR THE RECORD, I'VE NEVER HOOKED UP WITH MY BOSS. 241 00:09:27,333 --> 00:09:28,373 HOW'S THIS? 242 00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:29,897 - WHY DO YOU LOOK SO BIG LOVE? 243 00:09:29,900 --> 00:09:32,600 - I WANT TO LOOK PURE, LIKE THEY GAVE IT TO ME. 244 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:33,900 - UH-UH. A LITTLE CULTY. 245 00:09:33,900 --> 00:09:36,400 - LET ME ASK YOU, JAY, IS SHE HOT? 246 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,230 - YEAH, TOTALLY. REALLY CUTE. 247 00:09:38,233 --> 00:09:40,673 - THERE YOU HAVE IT. HOT WOMEN DON'T PAY FOR IT. 248 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:41,767 EXCEPT ON SHOWTIME. 249 00:09:41,767 --> 00:09:43,697 - ALSO, NO OFFENSE, JAY, 250 00:09:43,700 --> 00:09:45,770 BUT I DON'T REALLY SEE YOU AS THE MALE ESCORT TYPE. 251 00:09:45,767 --> 00:09:47,497 YOU'RE A LITTLE TOO BONY. 252 00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:49,100 - YEAH, MALE PROSTITUTES 253 00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:51,770 ARE, LIKE, A LITTLE MORE HUGH JACKMAN-ISH. 254 00:09:51,767 --> 00:09:53,397 - OKAY, GUYS. I'M SURE YOU'RE RIGHT. 255 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:55,300 - [giggles] THAT'S BETTER. 256 00:09:55,300 --> 00:09:57,930 PRIM, CUTE, DISEASE-FREE. 257 00:09:57,933 --> 00:09:59,833 LIKE A CELEB GOING TO COURT FOR A DUI. 258 00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:03,473 - GOOD. NOW BRING ME THE FROZEN PEAS. 259 00:10:07,633 --> 00:10:09,673 - AH, THE INTERN. 260 00:10:09,667 --> 00:10:10,997 - YEAH. 261 00:10:16,900 --> 00:10:18,670 - OKAY, THIS IS GONNA BE A HARD CONVERSATION. 262 00:10:18,667 --> 00:10:21,127 HIT IT HEAD ON. 263 00:10:21,133 --> 00:10:23,603 [knocks] - COME IN. 264 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,430 - [scoffs] 265 00:10:26,433 --> 00:10:27,573 - UH, HEY, KENT. 266 00:10:27,567 --> 00:10:29,627 - TINA. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 267 00:10:29,633 --> 00:10:32,633 - I NEED TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. 268 00:10:32,633 --> 00:10:34,973 SO, UH... 269 00:10:34,967 --> 00:10:37,397 HOW ARE YOU? 270 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:38,800 - I'M F--I'M FINE. WHAT'S... 271 00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:40,530 GOING ON? ARE YOU OKAY? 272 00:10:40,533 --> 00:10:42,473 [sighs] YOU'RE NICE, KENT. 273 00:10:42,467 --> 00:10:43,897 YOU'VE ALWAYS BEEN NICE. 274 00:10:43,900 --> 00:10:46,270 NICE, YOUNG, CLEAN VIRGIN. 275 00:10:46,267 --> 00:10:48,297 - NOT ANYMORE. 276 00:10:48,300 --> 00:10:50,270 - [clears throat] 277 00:10:50,267 --> 00:10:53,997 - UH, IT'S FUNNY IN LIFE HOW YOU MEET ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE. 278 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:58,000 PEOPLE WHO LEAVE A LASTING IMPRESSION ON YOU. 279 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,200 OR IN YOU. [chuckles] 280 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,800 SO, UH... 281 00:11:01,800 --> 00:11:04,870 - KENT, LISTEN UP. YOU MAY HAVE AN STD. CHLAMYDIA. 282 00:11:04,867 --> 00:11:06,067 - WHAT? 283 00:11:06,067 --> 00:11:07,897 - YEAH. YOU SHOULD GO SEE STUDENT HEALTH. 284 00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:09,630 TINA IS REALLY, REALLY SORRY. IT'S A BIG BUMMER. 285 00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:14,173 HAVE A GOOD ONE. NICE QUILT. 286 00:11:14,167 --> 00:11:15,367 - UH, YOU'RE PROBABLY FINE. 287 00:11:15,367 --> 00:11:16,367 I MEAN, WHAT ARE THE ODDS OF YOU GETTING IT 288 00:11:16,367 --> 00:11:17,367 ON YOUR FIRST TRY, RIGHT? 289 00:11:17,367 --> 00:11:19,067 [chuckles] BYE. 290 00:11:19,067 --> 00:11:20,597 THAT WAS A LITTLE ABRUPT, STACE. 291 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:24,130 - SORRY, BUT I HAVE TO STUDY LATER. 292 00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:27,303 - HEY. - HEY. 293 00:11:27,300 --> 00:11:29,700 - I, UH, THOUGHT WE'D START IN THE OFFICE TODAY. 294 00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:32,830 - OKAY. SOUNDS GOOD. 295 00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:35,903 - UH, SO, IT'S RIGHT IN HERE. 296 00:11:35,900 --> 00:11:38,700 I THINK THERE'S A DESK UNDER THERE SOMEWHERE. 297 00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:43,330 BUT LET ME KNOW IF YOU FIND ANY BODIES OR OVERSIZED RODENTS. 298 00:11:43,333 --> 00:11:44,333 - IF I DO, YOU'LL HEAR THE SOUND OF GIRLS SOBBING. 299 00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:45,503 IT'LL BE ME. 300 00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:46,730 UNLESS I ACTUALLY FIND A SOBBING GIRL, 301 00:11:46,733 --> 00:11:48,173 IN WHICH CASE IT'LL BE BOTH OF US. 302 00:11:48,167 --> 00:11:50,527 - [laughs] 303 00:11:50,533 --> 00:11:53,503 OKAY. GOOD LUCK. 304 00:12:01,767 --> 00:12:04,927 - OH. HEY, DEV. 305 00:12:04,933 --> 00:12:06,333 CAN I GET YOUR OPINION ON SOMETHING QUICK? 306 00:12:06,333 --> 00:12:07,673 - YEAH, WHAT'S GOING ON? 307 00:12:07,667 --> 00:12:09,827 - YEAH, I'M TRYING TO DIAGNOSE A FRIEND OF MINE. 308 00:12:09,833 --> 00:12:12,173 THIS IS THE LITTLE C, RIGHT? 309 00:12:12,167 --> 00:12:13,197 - OH... 310 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:15,570 YEAH, DUDE, DEF. CHLAMYDIA CITY. 311 00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:16,697 - THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT. THANKS. 312 00:12:16,700 --> 00:12:19,070 - NEW PHONE. RAD. - OH, YEAH. 313 00:12:19,067 --> 00:12:20,397 LOOK AT THESE EFFECTS. 314 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:21,570 NOW IT LOOKS LIKE I TOOK IT IN THE '70s, RIGHT? 315 00:12:21,567 --> 00:12:24,197 - WHOA. [chuckles] 316 00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,570 UH, YOU DIDN'T HIT THAT, DID YOU? 317 00:12:26,567 --> 00:12:28,567 - WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY 318 00:12:28,567 --> 00:12:30,297 IS YOU SHOULD SEE A DOCTOR, HEINRICH, 319 00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:32,100 BECAUSE YOU MAY HAVE IT TOO. 320 00:12:32,100 --> 00:12:34,600 - YEAH, WE GO OUT AGAIN. 321 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:38,330 - NO, LISTEN, YOU MAY HAVE DISEASE. 322 00:12:38,333 --> 00:12:39,903 PENIS DISEASE. 323 00:12:39,900 --> 00:12:43,330 - I DON'T, UM... VERSTEHE. 324 00:12:43,333 --> 00:12:44,873 - PICTIONARY IT. 325 00:12:57,100 --> 00:12:59,730 - YOU...OWW. 326 00:12:59,733 --> 00:13:03,433 SEE DOCTOR. DOC-TOR. 327 00:13:05,533 --> 00:13:07,103 - OH, VERFLUCHT. 328 00:13:09,667 --> 00:13:11,167 - OH, HEY. 329 00:13:11,167 --> 00:13:12,527 LOOK. IT WAS A DESK AFTER ALL. 330 00:13:12,533 --> 00:13:14,603 - LUCKY FOR US. HERE. SANITIZE UP. 331 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,130 - OH, I CAN GO WASH. 332 00:13:16,133 --> 00:13:19,233 THIS ONLY KILLS 99% OF GERMS. I LIKE TO MURDER THEM ALL. 333 00:13:19,233 --> 00:13:20,703 - DO YOUR HANDS. 334 00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:29,530 YEAH. LIKE THAT. 335 00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:39,500 NOW, DO YOUR CHEST. 336 00:13:43,933 --> 00:13:45,673 THERE YOU GO. [clicks tongue] 337 00:13:45,667 --> 00:13:50,597 YOU'RE A GOOD BOY, AREN'T YOU? 338 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,230 - OKAY, IT'S DEFINITELY HAPPENING. 339 00:13:53,233 --> 00:13:54,303 I'M BEING PAID FOR SEX. 340 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:56,070 - COME ON, MAN, YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUNS. 341 00:13:56,067 --> 00:13:57,227 - NO, I'M TELLING YOU. 342 00:13:57,233 --> 00:14:00,103 WE HAD SEX AGAIN, AND THIS TIME, 343 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,800 SHE PAID ME MORE THAN WE AGREED ON. 344 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:02,800 - SO? 345 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,370 - THIS TIME I ALSO DID MORE. 346 00:14:04,367 --> 00:14:06,167 - WHAT MORE? - MOUTH STUFF. 347 00:14:06,167 --> 00:14:08,567 - EXTRA FOR THAT? SEEMS STANDARD. 348 00:14:08,567 --> 00:14:10,067 ALTHOUGH I AM A GENEROUS LOVER. 349 00:14:10,067 --> 00:14:11,597 HOLY CRAP, JAY, YOU'RE REALLY GETTING PAID TO DO IT. 350 00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:14,630 - I KNOW, IT'S CRAZY, DUDE. IT'S BAD-CRAZY. 351 00:14:14,633 --> 00:14:15,633 - IS IT? 352 00:14:15,633 --> 00:14:18,073 OR IS IT ACTUALLY KINDA AWESOME? 353 00:14:18,067 --> 00:14:20,567 HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, I COULD SAY THAT YOU'RE 354 00:14:20,567 --> 00:14:21,567 MAKING A LIVING DOING SOMETHING YOU LOVE. 355 00:14:21,567 --> 00:14:23,067 IS THAT SO TERRIBLE? 356 00:14:23,067 --> 00:14:25,197 - YEAH, NO, IT'S NOT LIKE I'M SOME RUSSIAN SEX SLAVE 357 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:27,070 BEING FORCED TO GIVE A WALL STREET DUDE A PUTIN. 358 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,697 BUT IT IS EXCHANGING DOLLARS FOR DONG. 359 00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:32,070 - YES, BUT LET'S STEP BACK, LOOK AT THIS OBJECTIVELY. 360 00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:33,067 MAYBE IT'S OKAY. 361 00:14:33,067 --> 00:14:34,327 MODERN. DUTCH. 362 00:14:34,333 --> 00:14:36,573 - OTHER THAN THIS, SHE IS PRETTY COOL AND NORMAL. 363 00:14:36,567 --> 00:14:38,427 - COMPARED TO THE OTHER MISFIT TOYS YOU USUALLY BED, 364 00:14:38,433 --> 00:14:39,873 SHE KIND OF SOUNDS LIKE A WINNER. 365 00:14:39,867 --> 00:14:42,197 SHE'S ATTRACTIVE AND WEALTHY. 366 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:44,370 MESSY, BUT WORKING ON IT. - YEAH. 367 00:14:44,367 --> 00:14:46,067 PLUS, I NEED THIS JOB. 368 00:14:46,067 --> 00:14:47,697 I'M--I'M LIVING ON NOODLES AND BUTTER. 369 00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:51,230 I CRAVE TOMATO SAUCE. I'M SCARED I MAY HAVE SCURVY. 370 00:14:51,233 --> 00:14:53,073 - YEAH, IT SOUNDS ACCEPTABLE. SHORT-TERM ACCEPTABLE. 371 00:14:53,067 --> 00:14:56,067 - BUT IN THIS ROSY SCENARIO, 372 00:14:56,067 --> 00:15:00,227 IF YOU WERE TO WRITE MY JOB DOWN ON A RESUME, 373 00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:02,233 IT'D STILL BE "MALE HOOKER," THOUGH, RIGHT? 374 00:15:02,233 --> 00:15:03,233 - YES. 375 00:15:03,233 --> 00:15:05,073 BUT, LIKE, "MODERN HIPSTER HOOKER." 376 00:15:05,067 --> 00:15:06,897 YOU KNOW? "COACHELLA HOOKER." 377 00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:11,870 - OKAY... BUT STILL, I'M A HOOKER. 378 00:15:14,167 --> 00:15:16,697 I THINK I GOTTA QUIT. - YUP. 379 00:15:18,700 --> 00:15:19,900 - HI. 380 00:15:19,900 --> 00:15:21,600 THIS IS A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE, 381 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,200 BUT, UH, CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND? 382 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:25,530 - CAN IT WAIT? 'CAUSE I'M ON MY WAY OUT. 383 00:15:25,533 --> 00:15:27,903 - NO, LOOK, IT'S JUST THAT WE'RE-- 384 00:15:27,900 --> 00:15:29,900 WE'RE HAVING SEX. 385 00:15:29,900 --> 00:15:31,600 GREAT SEX, DON'T GET ME WRONG. 386 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,630 I'M LEARNING THINGS, AND THEN YOU'RE PAYING ME. 387 00:15:34,633 --> 00:15:37,803 NO JUDGMENTS, BUT I DON'T THINK I CAN DO THAT ANYMORE. 388 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:41,270 - UH, WAIT, YOU THINK THAT I'M PAYING YOU TO HAVE SEX WITH ME? 389 00:15:41,267 --> 00:15:43,927 - WELL, UH, AREN'T YOU? 390 00:15:43,933 --> 00:15:48,203 - NO. JESUS, NO. I'M PAYING YOU TO CLEAN. 391 00:15:48,200 --> 00:15:49,400 THE SEX IS SEPARATE. 392 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:52,630 I SLEEP WITH YOU BECAUSE I LIKE YOU. 393 00:15:52,633 --> 00:15:53,933 DO YOU REALLY THINK I'M THE KIND OF PERSON 394 00:15:53,933 --> 00:15:55,703 WHO NEEDS TO PAY FOR SEX? 395 00:15:55,700 --> 00:15:57,530 - I THINK I MADE A MISTAKE. 396 00:15:57,533 --> 00:15:59,133 - IT'S JUST... 397 00:15:59,133 --> 00:16:01,973 JUST SO INSULTING. 398 00:16:01,967 --> 00:16:06,497 - I'M SORRY, UH, COULD WE JUST FORGET THE LAST TWO MINUTES? 399 00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:10,170 - FINE, YEAH, JUST... 400 00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:13,697 PICK UP SOME CLEANING SUPPLIES FOR THE BATHROOM TOMORROW AND... 401 00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:15,070 DON'T BE LATE. 402 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:25,070 - HEY, LENCH. 403 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:29,897 - J-BONE. HEY. BEST CLEANING JOB EVER, AM I RIGHT? 404 00:16:29,900 --> 00:16:31,500 TUB DAY, HUH? 405 00:16:31,500 --> 00:16:34,230 YOU, SIR, ARE IN FOR SOME WET AND WILD LOVIN', MY MAN. 406 00:16:34,233 --> 00:16:37,733 SPOILER ALERT: IT'S LIKE GWEN HAS GILLS. YOU'LL SEE. 407 00:16:37,733 --> 00:16:39,333 - WAIT, YOU AND GWEN? 408 00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:40,903 - YEAH, I USED TO CLEAN FOR HER, DUDE. 409 00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:42,830 IT'S THE FIRST JOB I GOT WHEN I MOVED TO THE CITY. 410 00:16:42,833 --> 00:16:45,403 SHE'S A RARE AND GENEROUS EMPLOYER. 411 00:16:45,400 --> 00:16:46,500 APPRECIATE HER. 412 00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:49,130 - SO, YOU AND SHE... - OH, YEAH, DUDE. 413 00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:52,433 LIKE APES. I MEAN LITERALLY LIKE APES. 414 00:16:52,433 --> 00:16:55,333 THERE WERE BANANAS INVOLVED, AND SIMPLE TOOLS. 415 00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:56,503 - EWW. 416 00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:58,400 - IS THIS OUR FIRST CROSS-POLLINATION? 417 00:16:58,400 --> 00:16:59,770 I'M PROUD TO SHARE A FLOWER WITH YOU. 418 00:16:59,767 --> 00:17:02,297 BUZZ BUZZ, BITCH. 419 00:17:05,800 --> 00:17:09,400 YOU DON'T HAVE NEARLY ENOUGH BLEACH, BY THE WAY. 420 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:13,400 - HEY, STACE. NOT SURE WHERE YOU ARE. 421 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:16,300 I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW I'M ABOUT TO GO TO BRETT'S 422 00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:18,400 AND, UH, DO THE RIGHT THING. 423 00:17:18,400 --> 00:17:19,900 EVEN THOUGH THE RIGHT THING SUCKS IT. 424 00:17:19,900 --> 00:17:24,070 BUT, UM, I NEED TO DO THIS ALONE. 425 00:17:24,067 --> 00:17:26,827 SO... 426 00:17:26,833 --> 00:17:29,903 BYE. 427 00:17:29,900 --> 00:17:31,070 - GOOD MORNING. COME IN. 428 00:17:31,067 --> 00:17:32,567 - HANG ON, LOOK. 429 00:17:32,567 --> 00:17:35,467 GWEN, UM, I'M HERE TO CLEAN YOUR PLACE, BUT THAT'S IT. 430 00:17:35,467 --> 00:17:38,297 YOU KNOW, HAVING SEX AND THEN GETTING MONEY, 431 00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:39,430 IT JUST FEELS WRONG. 432 00:17:39,433 --> 00:17:40,533 BELIEVE ME, I WISH IT DIDN'T. 433 00:17:40,533 --> 00:17:42,233 SO, PLEASE, LET ME EARN MY PAY 434 00:17:42,233 --> 00:17:45,703 BY JUST DOING WHAT YOU HIRED ME TO DO. OKAY? 435 00:17:45,700 --> 00:17:51,200 BUT, THAT SAID, I THINK YOU'RE REALLY PRETTY AND COOL. 436 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:52,530 AND IF, ON A NON-WORK NIGHT, 437 00:17:52,533 --> 00:17:55,533 YOU'D LIKE TO MAYBE GO ON A REAL DATE, 438 00:17:55,533 --> 00:17:58,473 I'D LOVE THAT. 439 00:18:01,700 --> 00:18:02,870 - YOU'RE FIRED. 440 00:18:09,133 --> 00:18:10,573 - HEY, GRADES ARE UP. 441 00:18:10,567 --> 00:18:11,597 - CAN I JUST-- - YEAH. 442 00:18:11,600 --> 00:18:12,700 - OKAY. SORRY. 443 00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:14,600 B-MINUS. 444 00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:16,300 BOOM! [chuckles] 445 00:18:16,300 --> 00:18:18,570 - YIKES. ANOTHER "F." 446 00:18:18,567 --> 00:18:21,467 GUESS WHO'S GONNA BE SELLING ACURAS FOR HIS DAD. 447 00:18:39,767 --> 00:18:41,767 - [knocks] HEY, PROFESSOR WILLIAMS? 448 00:18:41,767 --> 00:18:43,127 - ERIC. WHAT'S UP? 449 00:18:43,133 --> 00:18:44,573 - CAN I ASK YOU A QUICK QUESTION? 450 00:18:44,567 --> 00:18:47,597 - UH, SURE. 451 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,630 OOH... 452 00:18:56,667 --> 00:19:00,097 [cell phone rings] 453 00:19:00,100 --> 00:19:01,300 - ER, I CAN'T TALK. I-- 454 00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:03,070 - HEY, YOU DON'T HAVE CHLAMYDIA. 455 00:19:03,067 --> 00:19:07,197 IT'S JUST AN IRRITATION FROM WEARING SKINNY JEANS. 456 00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:08,870 SO, MY "B." 457 00:19:08,867 --> 00:19:10,367 - WAIT, WHAT? 458 00:19:10,367 --> 00:19:11,367 [door buzzes] - HELLO? 459 00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:12,567 - TOTALLY FINE. 460 00:19:12,567 --> 00:19:14,267 JUST A LITTLE RASH FROM BEING A FASHIONISTA. 461 00:19:14,267 --> 00:19:16,097 SOME HYDROCORTISONE, AND YOU'RE-- 462 00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:18,970 - HELLO? - YES! YES! 463 00:19:18,967 --> 00:19:22,427 [laughs] 464 00:19:28,567 --> 00:19:30,367 - HERE YOU GO. 465 00:19:30,367 --> 00:19:32,227 SORRY ABOUT THE WHOLE "YOU'VE GOT AN STD" THING. 466 00:19:32,233 --> 00:19:33,703 MY BAD. 467 00:19:33,700 --> 00:19:35,100 - YEAH, THIS APOLOGY IS GONNA REQUIRE 468 00:19:35,100 --> 00:19:37,530 MORE THAN ONE OF ERIC'S FAMOUS FROZEN BLENDER DRINKS. 469 00:19:37,533 --> 00:19:38,733 YOU'RE BUYING ME DINNER. 470 00:19:38,733 --> 00:19:41,073 - LIKE BURRITOS, OR A SIT-DOWN DINNER? 471 00:19:41,067 --> 00:19:42,367 - OH, WE WILL BE SITTING. 472 00:19:42,367 --> 00:19:44,497 I'M GONNA KNUCKLE PUNCH YOU RIGHT IN THE WALLET. 473 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:46,170 - SO, TEEN, AFTER ALL OF THIS, 474 00:19:46,167 --> 00:19:48,667 ARE YOU CONSIDERING GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH BRETT? 475 00:19:48,667 --> 00:19:50,567 - MAYBE...IF HE WOOS ME. 476 00:19:50,567 --> 00:19:53,597 BUT IT'S NICE TO KNOW I COULD IF I WANTED TO. 477 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,270 I'M JUST GLAD TO KNOW I'M NOT THE SEXUAL SAD SACK ANYMORE. 478 00:19:56,267 --> 00:19:59,267 THAT HONOR BELONGS TO GIGOLO JAY. 479 00:19:59,267 --> 00:20:01,827 - YEAH, NO, I'M JUST REGULAR, UNEMPLOYED JAY AGAIN. 480 00:20:01,833 --> 00:20:03,073 OH, CHRIST. 481 00:20:03,067 --> 00:20:04,727 I'M GONNA END UP LIVING IN ONE OF YOUR GARAGES. 482 00:20:04,733 --> 00:20:06,173 - YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE. 483 00:20:06,167 --> 00:20:07,597 YOU'LL FIND SOMETHING SOON. 484 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:09,000 AND IF NOT, YOU KNOW, 485 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,830 YOU CAN ALWAYS SELL YOUR BLOOD AND SEMEN. 486 00:20:10,833 --> 00:20:12,603 [laughter] 487 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:13,900 - TO A CLEAN START. 488 00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:17,170 - IN THREE TO FIVE DAYS. 489 00:20:19,900 --> 00:20:21,100 - OOH... 490 00:20:21,100 --> 00:20:22,100 - REALLY? 491 00:20:22,100 --> 00:20:24,100 - JUST BE MY FRIENDS, GUYS. 492 00:20:31,567 --> 00:20:33,567 - EVICTED? WHAT THE HELL? 493 00:20:33,567 --> 00:20:34,997 - TOMORROW, I'M JUST GONNA HIT CRAIGSLIST 494 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,170 AND I'LL TAKE WHAT I CAN GET. 495 00:20:36,167 --> 00:20:37,927 - NO SAFETY NETS. - NO SAFETY NETS. 496 00:20:37,933 --> 00:20:39,633 - THE UNIVERSE, SHE WILL PROVIDE. 497 00:20:39,633 --> 00:20:41,833 - VIVA LA PACT! 498 00:20:41,833 --> 00:20:44,003 I'LL OWE YOU, OKAY? 499 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,400 - BUSINESS IS GOOD. 35550

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