Original subtitles

[♪♪♪]

Least she's having fun.

Three of her sucking his cock.

And then this one, taken after.

There's more in the background. Do you see?

[Cob] What? I don't see anything.

Ha ha. Look closer.

[giggles] Slag. Terrible tits, too.

L.O.L.

[man] Yes, I prefer bigger ones.

On a smaller frame, ideally.

-Same. -Aw. Your preference is

for bigger breasts on a smaller frame.

What a connoisseur. What a rare and unique

gazonga palette you have, sir.

I haven't seen that top before.

But have you looked over there?

Room service.

[Cob] Plates? Some food? A wine glass?

But what's above the wine glass?

Now you see it. Deep background.

Drugs as well. Disgusting.

That's not all she put in her mouth.

[sighs]

-[Gordon] LOL. ROFL. -Ha ha.

-LOL. -[Gordon] ROFL.

-[Glenda] Ha ha. -[Gary] LOL.

-[Gordon] ROFL. -[Glenda] Ha ha.

-[Gary] LOL. -[Gordon] ROFL.

-Ha ha. -[Gary] LOL.

-ROFL -[Glenda] Ha ha.

-LOL [Gordon] ROFL.

-[Glenda] Ha ha. -[Gary] LOL.

-[Gordon] ROFL. -[Glenda] Ha ha.

[Gordon yells]

[Suzie] Hey.

I keep reporting all the sites that upload it,

and then threatening anyone who reposts,

some other fucker puts it up.

Cob, you don't have to do that, OK?

The lawyers are on it. You know, it's not...

-[Cob] Mm-hmm? -It's not your problem.

Yep.

Did you watch that TED talk I sent you?

No. I didn't. And, and, and maybe

don't send me any more fucking YouTube clips

from fucking Naomifor me to watch about your fucking infidelity.

I'm sorry, I thought I'd deleted the bottom of the email, but she--

It's Esther Perel, you know, she's very good.

When was the last time you took drugs?

What sort of drugs?

I mean, women take all sorts of drugs,

you know, all the time, to deal with all the pain.

Do you know what else is in those photos?

[Suzie sighs]

His balls? My stretch marks?

If you look really closely, am I in blackface?

Coke.

Cocaine.

On a phone.

His, presumably.

You're fucking joking?

Nope.

Someone on one of the forums

really kindly blew it up.

Fuck.

Yeah. Didn't mention that, did you?

-When we talked about it? -Yeah, I didn't mention--

I-- Of course, I didn't mention that.

-That wasn't the main-- -Oh, so it's that common, is it?

For you to take a shitload of drugs with someone and then...

-No. -[Cob] We used to do that

all the time before we-- before Frank.

And I, I assumed that we both gave all that up.

Really? 'Cause, can I raise a hand

to the Critics' Circle Award, 2016?

Fuck off! That was, like, 10 years ago.

No, it was 2016.

[Cob] I'm not boring!

OK? [stammering] It's like--

It's like you made me boring.

We both agreed to be boring. And then you've been off down

this whole other secret hole of life.

-It's not fair. -I haven't. That's not an accurate--

Yes it is! It's not fair, Suze.

Y--y--you can't just make me boring,

and then go and fuck this other idiot guy,

because you're, you're fucking bored of me.

That's bullshit!

I compromised, OK?

I, I gave stuff up.

You didn't compromise anything.

-You just fucking moved-- -I understand that.

No, you don't!

Suzie, I thought I was depressed.

-[Suzie] You are depressed. -I'm not fucking depressed!

I just need a new dressing gown, OK? I'm not depressed.

I just need to not be with a complete psychopath.

And if you don't get that,

if you don't understand that I need some fun now,

I need some fucking attention here,

then I, I, I just, I genuinely don't think...

That this, that this can work.

[Frank babbles]

Hey, big man.

Yes, sir. Music for dancing.

[pop music playing over speakers]

Just fucking dance.Look, I know

I fucked up massively. OK? I'm aware of that,

I'm trying to be better. I actively am.

If I do the Disney gig, we can just start again.

We just go out there, forget all of this--

Do you think Disney are gonna wanna work with you

with a drug scandal? You're delusional!

They can't just assume what it is.

OK? You can buy legal highs online.

It looks exactly the same.

The can't--They don't know the contents.

It's white powder on a phone screen

with a fucking TV exec with his cock in your mouth!

That's quite a lot of context, isn't it?

[Suzie giggles at Frank]

[Suzie] I'm a terrible mother.

I'm a terrible wife.

I'm only a slightly above average actress.

I think the last time I spoke to you was my wedding vows.

Yeah.

I know you probably think, oh, she only comes to me

when I want something, but...

Please, I really need your help.

I'll be good from now on.

I'll tell the truth, I'll be a better mother,

a better wife, a better friend.

I know you can't take it all away, but...

Maybe you can? You know, you're so powerful,

and all that.

Is that all right? You know, just, just give me a sign if--

[phone vibrates]

[♪♪♪]

Oh, wow. I mean, that's, um...

Uh... Have we got a deal?

I mean... Amen.

[doctor] Naomi Jourabchi?

Yes.

[doctor] Nice to see you again.

OK. So, um, we're not at a total loss.

You haven't totally stopped ovulating, which is good.

-Right. -[doctor] Uh...

Very low levels of AMH and FSH.

Every time you come in I've suggested egg freezing.

[Naomi] Mm. Which you sell.

But I think we're past that point.

Look, I'll do it, OK? I'll do it.

No. No. What I mean is, at your stage,

and at your age, with the quality of the eggs,

I don't think it's the best use of your time or money.

Sorry? Wait.

You don't want them?

We've been monitoring you, and you have the levels

we would expect in a woman five, ten years older.

Yeah, but aren't all your tests from, like, French stats

from the 1890s, or something?

I'm looking specifically at your body,

and you're perimenopausal.

Perimenopausal?

It's not unusual in women in their late 30s.

I'm in my mid to late 30s.

You could still get pregnant naturally. We don't know.

[child screams]

[children chattering]

Where's Frank?

He's over there.

What did she say?

She just kept saying, "tiny window, tiny window."

Tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny,

like a fucking doll's house, or something.

But th--But that's not bad, is it?

Much lower than normal, for my age.

I've got a super low ovarian reserve.

Like, hardly any follicles. Well below average.

[sniffs] I guess in order for there to be an average,

someone has to be well below average, don't they?

I--So is that an illness?

[Naomi] No, Suze, that's just how averages work.

Hey. Did you spit at a swan?

No, we--I told you. We don't spit at swans.

So what're you gonna do?

I dunno. I dunno.

Patriarchal fucking medicine

hasn't done any research.

It's my own fault. It's my own fault.

The whole reason I broke up with Mart.

I said for years, I don't believe they know.

I don't believe they know. How can they just say--

Well, you know what Mum would say about a situation like this.

-Yeah, fuck a squaddie. -Exactly.

Fuck a squaddie. Seriously. Who loses?

All right? Forget all the science. You haven't got time

for what you thought you had time for.

Just fucking get on, get into it,

do it, all right? You know what you want,

just get the fuck on with it.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I know that. I do that. I am that. Ugh.

I like your, um... sh--what are shoes?

[Naomi] Oh. Cool.

[Suzie laughs]

-How are you? -Yeah, I'm fine.

-I'm fine. -'Kay, so listen.

In other news, uh,

the zombie people are suing you.

Oh, yes. [laughs]

Yeah. The producers.

-Uh, for leaving the show. -Whoo!

It's impossible for me to get you out of contract

because you won't let me tell them the reason

-that you're leaving? -Can't they fucking guess?

It doesn't profit them to guess.

Just let me tell them.

No, he's just told his wife.

I can't get him into trouble twice.

You're crazy. Then you talk to them.

They wanna take you out for dinner on Friday night.

Friday night? I can't go out for dinner on Friday night.

I'm going out with Cob. We're going to have some fun.

It's date night. It's dick night.

If you can't go, then I have to tell them.

[Suzie] I'm trying to save my marriage!

[Naomi] And I'm trying to save your career!

[Suzie] I said I'm sorry.

So, we don't have to stay for long.

And I've booked this really nice place for afterwards.

It's got a great tasting menu, cocktails, and all that. You know.

Or we could just stay there and have a free meal.

Can't fucking believe they have the gall to sue you.

I think they just wanna see how serious I am about leaving, you know?

I think we just keep it nice and light.

I'm, I'm light. I'm lighter than air.

I'm lighter than all the noble gasses.

I'm lighter than, fucking, I'm lighter than hydrogen.

Which is, unbeknownst to many, even lighter than helium.

-OK. -Which is why they filled

the Hindenburg with it

and why all those people died.

[sighs] Right.

[man on iPad] Helen's jumper had been pulled up

to expose her body. She had six wounds on her head.

Most of which caused fractures.

She also had multiple stab wounds to her chest.

Helen's body had actually been well concealed by the river,

and they had difficulty removing it from the scene.

G concluded that Helen had actually been killed somewhere else,

and then her body had been left at that location for some time.

Is that a pill?

Mmm.

OK. Wow.

-Go on. Fun. We're having fun. -No. No, no, no, no.

Um, uh, yeah, maybe after.

-Here y'are. -I'm all right, thanks.

Oh, so you'll take drugs with him, but not with me.

Don't be like that. I've got the meeting, haven't I?

Well, that was work, when you were with him.

Just tell them to go fuck themselves,

and then we're gonna go out, me and you,

gonna have a lovely fucking time, OK?

-All right, all right. -Right.

[♪♪♪]

Whoo!

-[Naomi] Eli. -Naomi.

Hi. Oh.

Whoa. Real East London. Waiting for me in this orb.

Yes.

[Naomi] Trapping me in this orb.

Shall we small talk, then?

God. I hate small talk.

[Naomi] Well, of course you do.

I mean, who likes small talk?

Who says, "I'm all about

the insignificant bullshit"?

Go on, then. What's your opener?

Have you ever been in a car accident?

Oh, God. No. No. Have you?

No. I don't drive.

Oh. Cool.

So, have you read anything good lately?

Since being online, I just don't read anymore, you know?

But then I was saying this to my friend the other day,

and she said-- Yes, she.

-Oh. -[Eli] Well, wait a minute.

What're you doing when you're looking at your phone?

And I thought, oh yeah! 'Cause that's reading, right?

-[Naomi] Yeah. -That's another way of looking at it.

Right, so, sorry, have you read any books recently?

[Eli] No. Oh my God, wait.

I'll tell you the best book I have read in years.

Oh. Have you ever read, few years ago,

amazing book. I dunno if you've heard of it.

It's called Sapiens?

Yeah, I've read Sapiens.

-[Eli] Ahh. -It's very entertaining.

It's so... intelligent.

And insightful? It's like all of mankind

from when it started all the way to here right now.

-Yeah. I've read it. -And what people don't realize

is, is just how incredible everything that's happened is,

and how we're just these monkeys, you know, back from the desert.

We're desert monkeys, basically.

And that influences everything we do, all the time.

Where are you from? Originally.

It's a very commercial piece of writing, I think.

Incredible. You should read it.

OK.

Here she is!

Hello. We've got two for the price of one. [giggles]

-[Taylor] Hello! -Cob's just here for moral support.

-[Taylor] Hi, Suzie! -[Suzie] Hi!

[Taylor] Love your coat!

-[laughs] I'm so glad. -[Suzie] Hi!

Oh. Strange lighting, isn't it?

Oh, you two look nice.

-Thank you. -He can stay!

[all laugh]

It is unbelievably kind of you to join us, Suzie.

I can't even imagine how busy you are.

Yes.

I know the conversations we're having behind the scenes

-are what they are. -[Suzie] Mm.

But that's not us.

We just love you.

-Oh, they love you! -[Suzie chuckles]

[Yolanda] You need to know how unbelievably delighted

-we are with your work so far on the series. -That's why we can't bear it.

Trying to play, as, as you would, you know,

if you were being attacked by zombies in wartime.

[laughs] It's hard to know.

Champagne?

Have a look at what you'll have.

Everybody's gonna have the most expensive thing--

Oh, God. OK, listen.

Before you guys start trying

to guilt us through the medium of steak,

I just, I don't want there to be any strangeness, OK?

We've all seen the photos, haven't we?

Yeah.

-Do you mean-- -The... stolen, hacked...

-...materials? -Yes, ma'am.

[Yolanda] I didn't know if it was...

I haven't looked... at that.

Obviously.

[Suzie chuckles]

I hope someone reached out.

Did someone reach out?

You don't have to lie, OK?

People don't have to lie.

We are quite busy.

-It must've been a very difficult time for you. -Mm-hmm.

[Taylor] You know, we haven't been appraised

of the full situation--

Well, Taylor, you better get fucking appraised.

Because someone in HR has fucked right up.

Ah, here he is.

[Yolanda] We thought if there was anyone

that could sell staying on to you,

Disney or not, it's the man with the plan.

You know Carter? Show-runner extraordinaire.

Good evening.

Look who it is.

Yeah, I don't think we've met.

[chair scraping on floor]

Did you know he was coming?

No, I fucking didn't.

[Suzie] I didn't know.

Oh, look at you, man. You sat down. Wow.

I was coming here to say this shouldn't be

a legal matter because it isn't.

We were just saying, weren't we,

that you have all these ideas

as to where Suzie's character could go, you know?

[laughs]

I'm sorry about the personal situation.

[Carter] Shouldn't make a difference.

This is fundamentally a professional matter.

I think we've put everybody in a very difficult position

and that's probably our fault.

Do you want me to go?

Or do you wanna go?

We're not going fucking anywhere, mate.

No?

[Cob] I'm the only person at this table

who has literally nothing to be ashamed of.

Hey, OK.

Meo all the culpas.

[Cob] Wow.

Suzie, will you look at this cunt?

I'm sorry, look at this cunt!

[slurping]

Well, Eli, your ex-wife sounds like a bitch.

Mm. Yeah, thank you very much.

No, I haven't dated much, really.

But you are looking for a boyfriend?

'Cause, come on. You have needs.

I mean, yeah, but I can outsource all that shit.

I have this adorable massage guy,

who I've had for the last six months.

And after the deep tissue,

well, we engage in a bit of non-penetrative play.

But after the last time he asked me out on an actual date.

Are you paying for this?

Hardly! I mean, I guess...

-Do you like him? -[Naomi] My massage guy?

Well, he's wonderful.

But he's early 20s and totally unbroken,

and I don't wanna be the one to do the breaking.

I don't wanna lose a good massage guy, fundamentally.

I sometimes wonder if it's men that want to be in relationships?

I just want a bit of spunk and a range of needs

being met from various sources.

I think it's being with a man that is ruinous.

[laughs] Wow.

We really got away from the small talk, didn't we?

[laughs] Yeah, we really, really did.

...and I could snap it off like that.

Hey, man. All right, brother. No foul. No foul.

Don't fucking brother what-fucking whatever me.

Dude, this is a restaurant.

[Cob] That is factually fucking accurate.

Well done. No wonder they say you're a genius.

[Yolanda] I don't think this is a negotiation

that you two can both successfully be part of.

[Cob] No, no, no, no. I wanna hear him pitch.

[Carter] I'm not gonna dance for you.

[Cob] You're such a knob!

You two, I get that he's worth more to you than she is,

a Black show-runner, I get that.

[gasps] Oh, whoopsie! Did I say a bad word?

Did I say a true thing, in this palace of cunts?

[Suzie muttering]

God. Oh, my God. God. Fucking God.

Help me. Help me, fucking help me. Please, help me.

-Give me a sign. -[phone vibrates]

Hello?

[Doreen on phone] Suzie, hey!

It's Doreen Bookman.

I'm V.P. at Disney Talent Relations

and Casting Reach Out?

Is this a bad time?

Oh, it, well, it--it's not the best, it--

It's fine.

[Doreen] Fantastic.

So, I wanted to touch base.

You didn't misunderstand,

we think you are an incredible artist.

-Mmm. -[Doreen] And that's why

we wanted to reach out directly

and make sure you knew how much we value you.

And I know there's some tough things going on,

with some private pictures of you that've been stolen.

-Mmm? -[Doreen] And we're gonna address that

with some of the tech companies.

And everyone is still onboard.

And we absolutely consider you a part of the Disney family.

Oh, my God!

[Doreen] Welcome to Disney! OK?

[sobbing] Oh, my God, thank you, thank you so much.

Oh.

And [stammering] I just wanna say

that there are, there are lots of legal highs

that look very similar to what's in that picture.

Like, the white powders?

And I'm, I'm very happy to publicly say that that's,

that--that it's that. You know, that it's not cocaine.

If that helps.

Thank you.

-Doreen? -[Doreen] Uh, yeah.

Suzie, thank you so much.

We'll be in touch soon.

[laughs] OK. Thank you.

Thank you! Thank you.

[woman] 'Scuse me?

-Yeah? -[woman] Pass me some loo roll, please?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Don't suppose you want an ecstasy pill, do you?

I mean, no, no, that's stupid.

Why would you take a pill off a stranger in a toilet?

[woman] No, that's OK. Yeah, sure.

OK.

[♪♪♪]

-[toilet flushes] -Go with God.

[elevator bell dings]

Honestly?

What I wanna say but could never say

to a guy like you is... there's just a reality.

Do you wanna go and fuck?

I'm in my fertile window.

And chances are by far nothing will happen as a result.

You get what all straight men are supposed to want.

No strings attached sex.

And I get what I want.

The highest statistical chance

of having a child as possible.

But you're not saying that.

I'm saying it, but no, obviously not, I'm not saying it.

But that's what I would say if... the world...

Right.

[Naomi] Anyway. Anyway. Siblings? Films?

Travel? Podcasts?

-Cereal? -[Eli] Mmm.

[Cob] Here she is!

Suzie, I'm here with the producers

formally asking you to not abandon your job on the show

because of a personal and important relationship

that is not relevant to this creative endeavor.

We weren't properly aware

of the personal element of this situation.

Is there any way we can make this work?

You could fire him.

-I've been dealt my blow... -[Cob] Job.

in terms of my life, and my home and my punishment

and I see no reason why people should be punished any further.

This guy took pictures of my wife

and now they're all around the world.

And it has fucked me, and it has fucked her,

and it's fucked them, and it's him. It's fucking him.

It's up to Suzie.

Yeah.

[chair scraping on floor]

I am gonna leave the show.

And we have to make that work

or things will get very ugly.

-Bangarang! -[Suzie gasps]

-Thank... you. -You're welcome.

Good night, and good luck.

And good fucking riddance.

Yeah, all right, mate.Yeah, all right, mate!

[Carter] Yeah, all right.Oh, we're mates, then?

Let's have a hug!

All right, mate, come here!

We've gotta leave.

No, come here. I love you. Mmm!

[Suzie] Come on.

Cob, let's go.

Come on...

Cob. Cob. Cob, Cob, Cob.

Come on. Cob. Cob.

If you want her to do pickups,

if you want her to do a death scene,

or a single fucking word of A.D.R.

in this weak, derivative shitshow,

then I'm there for it.

And this pervert can't come

within 10 feet of her at any time.

Thank you, and good night.

Don't worry about her.

Oh, I could bring a contract.

The woman could bring a legal disclaimer

saying there'll be no consequences

for you, whatsoever.

It is totally, legally binding,

I will never contact you again.

But apparently that would be mad.

[Eli laughs] Uh, that would be fucking insane.

Yeah. But the more sane you make it,

the more insane it becomes.

[both laugh]

Now, I wanna hear all about your psychosis,

and your life crisis,

and your relationship with your mother.

Oh, OK.

Because I am way too exposed.

Well, OK. But I should get you another drink.

-[Naomi laughs] -Even though that's terrifying.

[both laugh]

[Naomi] Something strong, please.

Uh, margarita. To go with my shame.

Uh, you can get your papers out?

[both laugh]

[Naomi] What the fuck?

[Cob chuckles]

"If you want her to do..."

[laughs]

"...a line of A.D.R." A.D.R.

You're such a fucking dick.

-Oh, my. -Such a fucking dick.

Such a fucking dick.

I'm a fucking dick.

[giggling]

[Matt] Wow, this is a nice one.

Yeah, it's all right, isn't it?

-Ha. -I think the owners have fucked off to Spain.

Look, it's like the Flake advert. [chuckling]

What Flake advert?

Oh, my God, do you not know the Flake advert?

How old are you? Fuck off! [laughs]

Just to be clear, you don't want me to actually fuck off.

Uh, listen, I need to know that you're up for this.

'Cause I pretty much get a U.T.I. every time I have sex,

so it's really gotta be worth it, you know?

[moaning]

[♪♪♪]

[sighs]

Hello?

[bed springs squeaking]

I want your cum. I want you to come, baby.

-[Matt] Yeah? -Yeah.

Be a good boy. Be such a good boy.

I know you think it's bad, but I like it.

Cum for Mummy. Cum for Mummy.

Do it! Do it! Come on! Come on!

[Matt] Are you on the pill?

No.

[Matt moans]

[Suzie] Cob?

Thank you, God.

For everything.

I love you, amen.

[alarm beeping]

[urinating]

[grunts]

"We were not aware of some of the details in the images

"and we can no longer offer our support.

"Disney obviously have, has special responsibilities

"towards its young audiences, and has a zero-tolerance policy

"on any sort of substance abuse.

"We are formally withdrawing our offer

"and are sorry to have to do so.

"Disney and our affiliates look forward to working

"with Suzie at a later stage when she has received

[snorting] the help she needs."

[both chuckle]

-[Cob] Oh, dear. -Uh...

[Cob] Well, fuck that mouse.

-[Cob] Fuck him. -[door opens]

Yay, here we go!

Grub's up.

Down in the cellar!

Ugh.

[Cob] Very dark.

[airplane passing]

[Kate Bush's "Under the Ivy"]

♪ It wouldn't take me long

♪ To tell you how to find it

♪ To tell you Where we'll meet ♪

♪ This little girl inside me

♪ Is retreating To her favourite place ♪

♪ Go into the garden Go under the ivy ♪

♪ Under the leaves Away from the party ♪

♪ Go right to the rose

♪ Go right to the white rose

♪ I sit here in the thunder

♪ The green on the gray

♪ I feel it all around me

♪ And it's not easy for me

♪ To give away a secret

♪ It's not safe

[Beto] OK, shoot it like the second time we blocked it. ♪ To go into the garden

♪ Go right to the white rose

[Beto] Action!

[Suzie screaming]

♪ Go into the garden

♪ Go under the ivy

♪ Go under the leaves with me

♪ Go right to the rose

♪ Go right to the white rose

♪ I'll be waiting for you

♪ It won't take me long [Beto] Cut!

♪ To tell you how to find it

♪ To tell you Where we'll meet ♪

♪ Go into the garden

♪ Go under the ivy

♪ Go right to the rose

♪ Go right to the white rose

♪ It wouldn't take me long

♪ To tell you how to find it

[waves crashing in distance]

[marine bell ringing in distance]

[thunder rumbling]

[seagulls squawking]

[♪♪♪]