All language subtitles for I.Hate.Suzie.S01E05_English

[♪♪♪]

Least she's having fun.

Three of her sucking his cock.

And then this one,
taken after.

There's more in the background.
Do you see?

[Cob] What?
I don't see anything.

Ha ha. Look closer.

[giggles] Slag.
Terrible tits, too.

L.O.L.

[man]
Yes, I prefer bigger ones.

On a smaller frame, ideally.

-Same.
-Aw. Your preference is

for bigger breasts
on a smaller frame.

What a connoisseur.
What a rare and unique

gazonga palette you have, sir.

I haven't seen
that top before.

But have you looked over there?

Room service.

[Cob] Plates? Some food?
A wine glass?

But what's above
the wine glass?

Now you see it.
Deep background.

Drugs as well.
Disgusting.

That's not all
she put in her mouth.

[sighs]

-[Gordon] LOL. ROFL.
-Ha ha.

-LOL.
-[Gordon] ROFL.

-[Glenda] Ha ha.
-[Gary] LOL.

-[Gordon] ROFL.
-[Glenda] Ha ha.

-[Gary] LOL.
-[Gordon] ROFL.

-Ha ha.
-[Gary] LOL.

-ROFL
-[Glenda] Ha ha.

-LOL
[Gordon] ROFL.

-[Glenda] Ha ha.
-[Gary] LOL.

-[Gordon] ROFL.
-[Glenda] Ha ha.

[Gordon yells]

[Suzie] Hey.

I keep reporting
all the sites that upload it,

and then threatening
anyone who reposts,

some other fucker puts it up.

Cob, you don't have
to do that, OK?

The lawyers are on it.
You know, it's not...

-[Cob] Mm-hmm?
-It's not your problem.

Yep.

Did you watch
that TED talk I sent you?

No. I didn't.
And, and, and maybe

don't send me any more
fucking YouTube clips

from fucking Naomifor me to watch about
your fucking infidelity.

I'm sorry, I thought
I'd deleted the bottom
of the email, but she--

It's Esther Perel, you know,
she's very good.

When was the last time
you took drugs?

What sort of drugs?

I mean, women take
all sorts of drugs,

you know, all the time,
to deal with all the pain.

Do you know what else
is in those photos?

[Suzie sighs]

His balls?
My stretch marks?

If you look really closely,
am I in blackface?

Coke.

Cocaine.

On a phone.

His, presumably.

You're fucking joking?

Nope.

Someone on one of the forums

really kindly blew it up.

Fuck.

Yeah. Didn't mention that,
did you?

-When we talked about it?
-Yeah, I didn't mention--

I-- Of course, I didn't
mention that.

-That wasn't the main--
-Oh, so it's that common, is it?

For you to take a shitload
of drugs with someone
and then...

-No.
-[Cob] We used to do that

all the time before we--
before Frank.

And I, I assumed that
we both gave all that up.

Really? 'Cause,
can I raise a hand

to the Critics' Circle
Award, 2016?

Fuck off! That was,
like, 10 years ago.

No, it was 2016.

[Cob]
I'm not boring!

OK? [stammering]
It's like--

It's like
you made me boring.

We both agreed to be boring.
And then you've been off down

this whole other
secret hole of life.

-It's not fair.
-I haven't. That's
not an accurate--

Yes it is!
It's not fair, Suze.

Y--y--you can't just
make me boring,

and then go and fuck
this other idiot guy,

because you're,
you're fucking
bored of me.

That's bullshit!

I compromised, OK?

I, I gave stuff up.

You didn't compromise anything.

-You just fucking moved--
-I understand that.

No, you don't!

Suzie, I thought
I was depressed.

-[Suzie] You are depressed.
-I'm not fucking depressed!

I just need a new
dressing gown, OK?
I'm not depressed.

I just need to not be
with a complete psychopath.

And if you don't get that,

if you don't understand
that I need some fun now,

I need some fucking
attention here,

then I, I, I just,
I genuinely don't think...

That this,
that this can work.

[Frank babbles]

Hey, big man.

Yes, sir.
Music for dancing.

[pop music playing
over speakers]

Just fucking dance.Look, I know

I fucked up massively.
OK? I'm aware of that,

I'm trying to be better.
I actively am.

If I do the Disney gig,
we can just start again.

We just go out there,
forget all of this--

Do you think Disney are
gonna wanna work with you

with a drug scandal?
You're delusional!

They can't just assume
what it is.

OK? You can buy
legal highs online.

It looks exactly the same.

The can't--They don't
know the contents.

It's white powder
on a phone screen

with a fucking TV exec
with his cock in your mouth!

That's quite a lot
of context, isn't it?

[Suzie giggles at Frank]

[Suzie]
I'm a terrible mother.

I'm a terrible wife.

I'm only a slightly
above average actress.

I think the last time
I spoke to you was
my wedding vows.

Yeah.

I know you probably think,
oh, she only comes to me

when I want something, but...

Please, I really
need your help.

I'll be good from now on.

I'll tell the truth,
I'll be a better mother,

a better wife,
a better friend.

I know you can't
take it all away, but...

Maybe you can? You know,
you're so powerful,

and all that.

Is that all right? You know,
just, just give me a sign if--

[phone vibrates]

[♪♪♪]

Oh, wow. I mean, that's, um...

Uh... Have we got a deal?

I mean... Amen.

[doctor]
Naomi Jourabchi?

Yes.

[doctor]
Nice to see you again.

OK. So, um,
we're not at a total loss.

You haven't totally
stopped ovulating,
which is good.

-Right.
-[doctor] Uh...

Very low levels
of AMH and FSH.

Every time you come in
I've suggested egg freezing.

[Naomi]
Mm. Which you sell.

But I think we're
past that point.

Look, I'll do it,
OK? I'll do it.

No. No. What I mean is,
at your stage,

and at your age,
with the quality of the eggs,

I don't think it's the best use
of your time or money.

Sorry? Wait.

You don't want them?

We've been monitoring you,
and you have the levels

we would expect in a woman
five, ten years older.

Yeah, but aren't all your tests
from, like, French stats

from the 1890s,
or something?

I'm looking specifically
at your body,

and you're perimenopausal.

Perimenopausal?

It's not unusual in women
in their late 30s.

I'm in my mid to late 30s.

You could still get pregnant
naturally. We don't know.

[child screams]

[children chattering]

Where's Frank?

He's over there.

What did she say?

She just kept saying,
"tiny window, tiny window."

Tiny, tiny,
tiny, tiny, tiny,

like a fucking doll's house,
or something.

But th--But that's
not bad, is it?

Much lower than
normal, for my age.

I've got a super low
ovarian reserve.

Like, hardly any follicles.
Well below average.

[sniffs] I guess in order
for there to be an average,

someone has to be well
below average, don't they?

I--So is that an illness?

[Naomi] No, Suze,
that's just how averages work.

Hey. Did you spit at a swan?

No, we--I told you.
We don't spit at swans.

So what're you gonna do?

I dunno. I dunno.

Patriarchal fucking medicine

hasn't done any research.

It's my own fault.
It's my own fault.

The whole reason
I broke up with Mart.

I said for years,
I don't believe they know.

I don't believe they know.
How can they just say--

Well, you know what
Mum would say about
a situation like this.

-Yeah, fuck a squaddie.
-Exactly.

Fuck a squaddie.
Seriously. Who loses?

All right? Forget
all the science.
You haven't got time

for what you thought
you had time for.

Just fucking get on,
get into it,

do it, all right?
You know what you want,

just get the fuck on
with it.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I know that.
I do that. I am that. Ugh.

I like your, um...
sh--what are shoes?

[Naomi] Oh. Cool.

[Suzie laughs]

-How are you?
-Yeah, I'm fine.

-I'm fine.
-'Kay, so listen.

In other news, uh,

the zombie
people are suing you.

Oh, yes. [laughs]

Yeah. The producers.

-Uh, for leaving the show.
-Whoo!

It's impossible for me
to get you out of contract

because you won't let me
tell them the reason

-that you're leaving?
-Can't they fucking guess?

It doesn't profit
them to guess.

Just let me tell them.

No, he's just told his wife.

I can't get him
into trouble twice.

You're crazy.
Then you talk to them.

They wanna take you out
for dinner on Friday night.

Friday night? I can't go
out for dinner on Friday night.

I'm going out with Cob.
We're going to have some fun.

It's date night.
It's dick night.

If you can't go,
then I have to tell them.

[Suzie] I'm trying
to save my marriage!

[Naomi] And I'm trying
to save your career!

[Suzie] I said I'm sorry.

So, we don't have
to stay for long.

And I've booked this really
nice place for afterwards.

It's got a great
tasting menu, cocktails,
and all that. You know.

Or we could just stay there
and have a free meal.

Can't fucking believe
they have the gall to sue you.

I think they just
wanna see how serious I am
about leaving, you know?

I think we just keep it
nice and light.

I'm, I'm light.
I'm lighter than air.

I'm lighter than
all the noble gasses.

I'm lighter than, fucking,
I'm lighter than hydrogen.

Which is, unbeknownst to many,
even lighter than helium.

-OK.
-Which is why they filled

the Hindenburg with it

and why all those people died.

[sighs]
Right.

[man on iPad]
Helen's jumper
had been pulled up

to expose her body. She had six wounds on her head.

Most of which caused fractures.

She also had multiple
stab wounds to her chest.

Helen's body had actually been
well concealed by the river,

and they had difficulty
removing it from the scene.

G concluded that Helen had
actually been killed
somewhere else,

and then her body had
been left at that location
for some time.

Is that a pill?

Mmm.

OK. Wow.

-Go on. Fun. We're having fun.
-No. No, no, no, no.

Um, uh, yeah, maybe after.

-Here y'are.
-I'm all right, thanks.

Oh, so you'll take drugs
with him, but not with me.

Don't be like that. I've got
the meeting, haven't I?

Well, that was work,
when you were with him.

Just tell them
to go fuck themselves,

and then we're gonna
go out, me and you,

gonna have a lovely
fucking time, OK?

-All right, all right.
-Right.

[♪♪♪]

Whoo!

-[Naomi] Eli.
-Naomi.

Hi. Oh.

Whoa. Real East London.
Waiting for me in this orb.

Yes.

[Naomi] Trapping me
in this orb.

Shall we small talk, then?

God. I hate small talk.

[Naomi]
Well, of course you do.

I mean, who likes small talk?

Who says, "I'm all about

the insignificant bullshit"?

Go on, then.
What's your opener?

Have you ever been
in a car accident?

Oh, God. No. No. Have you?

No. I don't drive.

Oh. Cool.

So, have you read
anything good lately?

Since being online,
I just don't read
anymore, you know?

But then I was saying this
to my friend the other day,

and she said-- Yes, she.

-Oh.
-[Eli] Well, wait a minute.

What're you doing when
you're looking at your phone?

And I thought, oh yeah!
'Cause that's reading, right?

-[Naomi] Yeah.
-That's another way
of looking at it.

Right, so, sorry, have you read
any books recently?

[Eli] No.
Oh my God, wait.

I'll tell you the best book
I have read in years.

Oh. Have you ever read,
few years ago,

amazing book. I dunno
if you've heard of it.

It's called Sapiens?

Yeah, I've read Sapiens.

-[Eli] Ahh.
-It's very entertaining.

It's so... intelligent.

And insightful?
It's like all of mankind

from when it started
all the way to here right now.

-Yeah. I've read it.
-And what people don't realize

is, is just how incredible
everything that's happened is,

and how we're just
these monkeys, you know,
back from the desert.

We're desert monkeys,
basically.

And that influences everything
we do, all the time.

Where are you from?
Originally.

It's a very commercial
piece of writing, I think.

Incredible.
You should read it.

OK.

Here she is!

Hello. We've got two for
the price of one. [giggles]

-[Taylor] Hello!
-Cob's just here
for moral support.

-[Taylor] Hi, Suzie!
-[Suzie] Hi!

[Taylor]
Love your coat!

-[laughs] I'm so glad.
-[Suzie] Hi!

Oh. Strange lighting,
isn't it?

Oh, you two look nice.

-Thank you.
-He can stay!

[all laugh]

It is unbelievably kind
of you to join us, Suzie.

I can't even imagine
how busy you are.

Yes.

I know the conversations
we're having behind the scenes

-are what they are.
-[Suzie] Mm.

But that's not us.

We just love you.

-Oh, they love you!
-[Suzie chuckles]

[Yolanda] You need to know
how unbelievably delighted

-we are with your work
so far on the series.
-That's why we can't bear it.

Trying to play, as,
as you would, you know,

if you were being attacked
by zombies in wartime.

[laughs] It's hard to know.

Champagne?

Have a look
at what you'll have.

Everybody's gonna have
the most expensive thing--

Oh, God. OK, listen.

Before you guys start trying

to guilt us through
the medium of steak,

I just, I don't want there
to be any strangeness, OK?

We've all seen
the photos, haven't we?

Yeah.

-Do you mean--
-The... stolen, hacked...

-...materials?
-Yes, ma'am.

[Yolanda] I didn't
know if it was...

I haven't looked...
at that.

Obviously.

[Suzie chuckles]

I hope someone reached out.

Did someone reach out?

You don't have to lie, OK?

People don't have to lie.

We are quite busy.

-It must've been a very
difficult time for you.
-Mm-hmm.

[Taylor]
You know, we haven't
been appraised

of the full situation--

Well, Taylor, you better get
fucking appraised.

Because someone in HR has
fucked right up.

Ah, here he is.

[Yolanda]
We thought if there was anyone

that could sell
staying on to you,

Disney or not, it's
the man with the plan.

You know Carter?
Show-runner extraordinaire.

Good evening.

Look who it is.

Yeah, I don't think we've met.

[chair scraping on floor]

Did you know he was coming?

No, I fucking didn't.

[Suzie]
I didn't know.

Oh, look at you, man.
You sat down. Wow.

I was coming here to say
this shouldn't be

a legal matter
because it isn't.

We were just saying,
weren't we,

that you have all these ideas

as to where Suzie's character
could go, you know?

[laughs]

I'm sorry about
the personal situation.

[Carter] Shouldn't
make a difference.

This is fundamentally
a professional matter.

I think we've put everybody
in a very difficult position

and that's probably our fault.

Do you want me to go?

Or do you wanna go?

We're not going fucking
anywhere, mate.

No?

[Cob] I'm the only person
at this table

who has literally nothing
to be ashamed of.

Hey, OK.

Meo all the culpas.

[Cob] Wow.

Suzie, will you look
at this cunt?

I'm sorry, look at this cunt!

[slurping]

Well, Eli, your ex-wife
sounds like a bitch.

Mm. Yeah, thank you very much.

No, I haven't
dated much, really.

But you are
looking for a boyfriend?

'Cause, come on.
You have needs.

I mean, yeah, but I can
outsource all that shit.

I have this adorable
massage guy,

who I've had
for the last six months.

And after the deep tissue,

well, we engage in
a bit of non-penetrative play.

But after the last time
he asked me out
on an actual date.

Are you paying for this?

Hardly! I mean, I guess...

-Do you like him?
-[Naomi] My massage guy?

Well, he's wonderful.

But he's early 20s
and totally unbroken,

and I don't wanna be
the one to do the breaking.

I don't wanna lose a good
massage guy, fundamentally.

I sometimes wonder
if it's men that want
to be in relationships?

I just want a bit of spunk
and a range of needs

being met
from various sources.

I think it's being with
a man that is ruinous.

[laughs] Wow.

We really got away from
the small talk, didn't we?

[laughs] Yeah,
we really, really did.

...and I could
snap it off like that.

Hey, man. All right, brother.
No foul. No foul.

Don't fucking brother
what-fucking whatever me.

Dude, this is a restaurant.

[Cob] That is
factually fucking accurate.

Well done. No wonder
they say you're a genius.

[Yolanda] I don't think
this is a negotiation

that you two can both
successfully be part of.

[Cob] No, no, no, no.
I wanna hear him pitch.

[Carter] I'm not gonna
dance for you.

[Cob] You're such a knob!

You two, I get that he's worth
more to you than she is,

a Black show-runner,
I get that.

[gasps] Oh, whoopsie!
Did I say a bad word?

Did I say a true thing,
in this palace of cunts?

[Suzie muttering]

God. Oh, my God.
God. Fucking God.

Help me. Help me, fucking
help me. Please, help me.

-Give me a sign.
-[phone vibrates]

Hello?

[Doreen on phone]
Suzie, hey!

It's Doreen Bookman.

I'm V.P. at Disney
Talent Relations

and Casting Reach Out?

Is this a bad time?

Oh, it, well, it--it's
not the best, it--

It's fine.

[Doreen]
Fantastic.

So, I wanted to touch base.

You didn't misunderstand,

we think you are
an incredible artist.

-Mmm.
-[Doreen]
And that's why

we wanted to reach out directly

and make sure you knew
how much we value you.

And I know there's some
tough things going on,

with some private pictures
of you that've been stolen.

-Mmm?
-[Doreen]
And we're gonna address that

with some of
the tech companies.

And everyone is still onboard.

And we absolutely consider you
a part of the Disney family.

Oh, my God!

[Doreen]
Welcome to Disney! OK?

[sobbing] Oh, my God,
thank you, thank you so much.

Oh.

And [stammering]
I just wanna say

that there are, there are
lots of legal highs

that look very similar
to what's in that picture.

Like, the white powders?

And I'm, I'm very happy
to publicly say that that's,

that--that it's that. You know,
that it's not cocaine.

If that helps.

Thank you.

-Doreen?
-[Doreen]
Uh, yeah.

Suzie, thank you so much.

We'll be in touch soon.

[laughs] OK.
Thank you.

Thank you! Thank you.

[woman] 'Scuse me?

-Yeah?
-[woman] Pass me
some loo roll, please?

Oh, yeah, sure.

Don't suppose you want
an ecstasy pill, do you?

I mean, no, no, that's stupid.

Why would you take a pill
off a stranger in a toilet?

[woman] No, that's OK.
Yeah, sure.

OK.

[♪♪♪]

-[toilet flushes]
-Go with God.

[elevator bell dings]

Honestly?

What I wanna say
but could never say

to a guy like you is...
there's just a reality.

Do you wanna go and fuck?

I'm in my fertile window.

And chances are by far nothing
will happen as a result.

You get what all straight men
are supposed to want.

No strings attached sex.

And I get what I want.

The highest statistical chance

of having a child as possible.

But you're not saying that.

I'm saying it,
but no, obviously not,
I'm not saying it.

But that's what I would say
if... the world...

Right.

[Naomi] Anyway. Anyway.
Siblings? Films?

Travel? Podcasts?

-Cereal?
-[Eli] Mmm.

[Cob] Here she is!

Suzie, I'm here
with the producers

formally asking you to not
abandon your job on the show

because of a personal
and important relationship

that is not relevant
to this creative endeavor.

We weren't properly aware

of the personal element
of this situation.

Is there any way we can
make this work?

You could fire him.

-I've been dealt my blow...
-[Cob] Job.

in terms of my life,
and my home and my punishment

and I see no reason why people
should be punished any further.

This guy took pictures
of my wife

and now they're
all around the world.

And it has fucked me,
and it has fucked her,

and it's fucked them,
and it's him. It's fucking him.

It's up to Suzie.

Yeah.

[chair scraping on floor]

I am gonna leave the show.

And we have to make that work

or things will get very ugly.

-Bangarang!
-[Suzie gasps]

-Thank... you.
-You're welcome.

Good night, and good luck.

And good fucking riddance.

Yeah, all right, mate.Yeah, all right, mate!

[Carter] Yeah, all right.Oh, we're mates, then?

Let's have a hug!

All right, mate, come here!

We've gotta leave.

No, come here.
I love you. Mmm!

[Suzie] Come on.

Cob, let's go.

Come on...

Cob. Cob. Cob, Cob, Cob.

Come on. Cob. Cob.

If you want her to do pickups,

if you want her to do
a death scene,

or a single fucking
word of A.D.R.

in this weak,
derivative shitshow,

then I'm there for it.

And this pervert can't come

within 10 feet of her
at any time.

Thank you, and good night.

Don't worry about her.

Oh, I could bring a contract.

The woman could bring
a legal disclaimer

saying there'll
be no consequences

for you, whatsoever.

It is totally,
legally binding,

I will never
contact you again.

But apparently that
would be mad.

[Eli laughs] Uh, that
would be fucking insane.

Yeah. But the more
sane you make it,

the more insane it becomes.

[both laugh]

Now, I wanna hear all about
your psychosis,

and your life crisis,

and your relationship
with your mother.

Oh, OK.

Because I am way too exposed.

Well, OK. But I should
get you another drink.

-[Naomi laughs]
-Even though that's terrifying.

[both laugh]

[Naomi] Something
strong, please.

Uh, margarita.
To go with my shame.

Uh, you can get
your papers out?

[both laugh]

[Naomi] What the fuck?

[Cob chuckles]

"If you want her to do..."

[laughs]

"...a line of A.D.R."
A.D.R.

You're such a fucking dick.

-Oh, my.
-Such a fucking dick.

Such a fucking dick.

I'm a fucking dick.

[giggling]

[Matt] Wow, this is
a nice one.

Yeah, it's all right,
isn't it?

-Ha.
-I think the owners
have fucked off to Spain.

Look, it's like the
Flake advert. [chuckling]

What Flake advert?

Oh, my God, do you not
know the Flake advert?

How old are you?
Fuck off! [laughs]

Just to be clear, you don't
want me to actually fuck off.

Uh, listen, I need to know
that you're up for this.

'Cause I pretty much get
a U.T.I. every time I have sex,

so it's really gotta be
worth it, you know?

[moaning]

[♪♪♪]

[sighs]

Hello?

[bed springs squeaking]

I want your cum.
I want you to come, baby.

-[Matt] Yeah?
-Yeah.

Be a good boy.
Be such a good boy.

I know you think it's bad,
but I like it.

Cum for Mummy.
Cum for Mummy.

Do it! Do it!
Come on! Come on!

[Matt] Are you on the pill?

No.

[Matt moans]

[Suzie] Cob?

Thank you, God.

For everything.

I love you, amen.

[alarm beeping]

[urinating]

[grunts]

"We were not aware of some
of the details in the images

"and we can no longer
offer our support.

"Disney obviously have,
has special responsibilities

"towards its young audiences,
and has a zero-tolerance policy

"on any sort
of substance abuse.

"We are formally withdrawing
our offer

"and are sorry
to have to do so.

"Disney and our affiliates
look forward to working

"with Suzie at a later stage
when she has received

[snorting]
the help she needs."

[both chuckle]

-[Cob] Oh, dear.
-Uh...

[Cob] Well, fuck that mouse.

-[Cob] Fuck him.
-[door opens]

Yay, here we go!

Grub's up.

Down in the cellar!

Ugh.

[Cob] Very dark.

[airplane passing]

[Kate Bush's "Under the Ivy"]

♪ It wouldn't take me long

♪ To tell you how to find it

♪ To tell you
Where we'll meet ♪

♪ This little girl inside me

♪ Is retreating
To her favourite place ♪

♪ Go into the garden
Go under the ivy ♪

♪ Under the leaves
Away from the party ♪

♪ Go right to the rose

♪ Go right to the white rose

♪ I sit here in the thunder

♪ The green on the gray

♪ I feel it all around me

♪ And it's not easy for me

♪ To give away a secret

♪ It's not safe

[Beto] OK, shoot it like
the second time we blocked it. ♪ To go into the garden

♪ Go right to the white rose

[Beto]
Action!

[Suzie screaming]

♪ Go into the garden

♪ Go under the ivy

♪ Go under the leaves with me

♪ Go right to the rose

♪ Go right to the white rose

♪ I'll be waiting for you

♪ It won't take me long [Beto] Cut!

♪ To tell you how to find it

♪ To tell you
Where we'll meet ♪

♪ Go into the garden

♪ Go under the ivy

♪ Go right to the rose

♪ Go right to the white rose

♪ It wouldn't take me long

♪ To tell you how to find it

[waves crashing in distance]

[marine bell ringing
in distance]

[thunder rumbling]

[seagulls squawking]

[♪♪♪]