All language subtitles for I.Hate.Suzie.S01E04_English

Sorry I'm late, sorry I'm late.

Bitch, bitch teacher.

-What time is it?
-[Naomi] 9:17

-[Cob] Twenty past.
-[Naomi] Cob was just asking

why we're not saying

it's from a specific time

in the past,
before you guys got together.

Well, we could.

[Naomi] We could.
It's not my advice, but...

Well, happily,
it's not your decision.

No, it's not, Cob.
But the point is,

what we don't want
is a bunch of people

who are able to date it
through, I dunno--

What, carbon penis dating?

Why wouldn't they
have done that already?

It's just that she doesn't
look 10 years younger.

No offence.
And if we date it specifically

it might drag you into it.

Oh, th--that's what
drags me into it?

Oh, OK, fine.
Right. Cool, yeah.

I, I thought we agreed,
we're not gonna get into

the who or the when
of these photos?

Uh, it's pretty
fucking obvious, no?

Why don't we just say...

ex-boyfriend from
a long time ago?

[Naomi] No, you're not
gonna name names.

'Cause you're above that.

-[Cob snorts]
-OK, but would,

would that be
better for Disney?

If it was from
a long time ago.

I mean, have you
even spoken to them yet?

No, they're being
weirdly quiet, for Americans.

Hey, hey.
You are not losing that job.

Point is, we should all
be fine with seeing

someone with a cock
in their hand.

We're not children.

But there are children
in the world.

Who watch movies.

Yeah, also, we have
one of them.

Yeah, partly because of her
having your cock

in her hand at some point.

There is no shame to be had

in a woman doing a sex act!

Well, there is in this case.

Yeah, if it's not her husband's.

If it's a fucking
over-rated trash-peddler

who thinks he's Steve McQueen.
Not that one.

Ugh. So worried
I'm gonna get this wrong.

You know? I can't
not be authentic.

You know? Even if I try,
I'll end up being authentic.

I can't not be authentic.

You're an actress!

Well, yeah, but come on. Like,

if she asks me how I feel

about the pictures being
out there,

the answer isn't "fine," is it?

No, of course
the answer's not "fine,"

'cause you're disappointed.

You shouldn't be ashamed.

Is what's important.

You should just be honest.

But I am ashamed.

Why? You've got no
reason to be ashamed.

-Mmm she kinda does.
-I kind of do.

Yeah, but they don't know that,

we're not presenting
it as that,

-is what I'm saying.
-OK, so don't say it's that.

That it's Carter.

[Cob and Naomi] No!

Don't be honest
about that, obviously!

Be honest about
how you would feel

if everything
we were saying was true.

Oh my god, can we please
just say that it's old?

[Naomi] OK, fine, but be vague.

OK, so just, just j--

-[phone vibrates]
-[Suzie stammers]

General penis
from a long time ago.

-Oh, fucksake.
-Yes.

It's from a long time ago.

Don't be specific about when,

and don't be
specific about who.

OK, but I can't be
specific about

any of those things,
because they're

-both entirely made up. OK.
-OK?

-Then we're ready.
-OK.

[Naomi clears throat]

Hey, Bari!

[Bari]
Uh, hiya! Uh, I've got

Athena from the Observer
on the line.

Great. Can you hear me OK?

[Bari]
Yeah, yeah, totally.
It's fine.

[Suzie clears throat] So, uh,
put her through.

[Athena]
Hello?

Hi, it's Suzie.

[Athena]
Oh, hi.

Hi! [chuckles]

Um, I'm a, I'm
a big, uh, fan
of your political column

every week, by the way.
I mean, I'm obsessed.

[Athena]
Oh, uh, thank you!

Yeah, I mean, I can quote
long stretches of it.

[Athena] Oh, wow, that's nice.

Well, the first thing
I do wanna say, though,

is I am really sorry about
what's happened to you.

Thank you.

[Athena]
And I'm really grateful

you're speaking with me.

I, I could not be more furious.

Well... [laughs] Me too.

Hashtag.

Um, so, wait, uh...
[laughs]

Uh, so, I'm sorry, uh,
furious with me?

[Athena]
No, no! Hang on.

Let's do some basics, Suzie.

So, when did you
see the picture?

[coughs] Um... well,
I'm not one of those,

you know, I like to
stay away from all of that.

-So, it wasn't...
-[Athena] Yeah.

It, it wasn't until, um,
I got a text

from Naomi, my manager,

um, and she said, you know,
we should have a chat,

and then she described
it to me, and obviously
I sat down with my family.

And, you know, that's when
I knew, um, what it was,

and that was that.

[Athena]
Yeah, sure. And how,
and how did you f--feel

when you saw
that they'd leaked?

Well, I was shocked.
You know, obviously.

-Because, you know, the...
-[Athena] Yeah.

...picture's from a very
long time ago.

[Athena]
Oh, really? I think,
I think everyone assumes

that they would have
been recent images.

No, they, I mean,
they deliberately--
they can do that.

No, they're from
a long time ago,
and, you know,

it's something I feel is
very private. You know?

But it, it shouldn't have
to be. Should it?

[Athena]
Uh, can you talk
more about that?

Yeah. I mean, you know,
I should be able to look
at the pictures and go,

oh, hey, there's me
with a cock in my hand.

And my son should
be able to look
at those pictures and go,

oh, hey, there's Mum
with a cock in her hand.
You know?

[Athena laughs]
Yes. I mean, uh, is, is that
what you actually think?

No, it's not what I actually--
of course not.

The--but I should be able
to think that.

When in reality, of course,
I'm just like everybody else.

I'm looking at those pictures
and going, you know,

what an absolute slut.

I'm being ironic, Athena!

[Athena]
OK.

[Suzie groans]

[Suzie]
I'm an absolute slut.

Can you send me all
the contracts related
to the Disney job as soon as?

And also anyone else we know
who's worked with us,
so I can compare the wording.

Thanks. Cob?

Cob!

I can't hear you
sarcastically clapping,
'cause you're in a car?

[Cob slow-claps]

[Naomi] Thank you.
Now, I need to get to Disney

before that interview does.

Can you give me a lift
to the station?

I can.

Will you?

I will.

[Suzie]
I'm an absolute slut.

[man moans]

You know, so is it just me,

or does she dress like
she's from the past?

[Suzie giggles]

[man] Oh, what a slut you are
.

[Suzie] What an absolute slut.

[school bell rings]

[teacher] Mrs. Pickles,
can I have a word?

I wonder if he's curious.
Which is normal.

Um, sorry, uh, yeah,
I, I mean, I just,

I think it's more likely
that he doesn't know
if someone's in the toilet.

I mean, why aren't
people locking doors?

The impression I'm getting is
that it's a rather deliberate
attempt to... see things.

And if there is new behavior
that might be related

to something that's
going on at home,

it's important we're open
and transparent about that.

Is there anything
going on at home?

Is this about me not doing
the school fete opening?

No! It's about Frank bursting
in on people on the toilet.

And also... did you get
the letter about appropriate
dress for drop off?

I did, yeah.

I did, and I used it
to wipe my arse,

because I'm a terrible mother
and a massive slut.

Have a great day.
See you, sweetheart.

Now, so is it just me,
or does she dress
like she's from the past?

[Suzie giggles]

Come on.
Let me give you a ride home.

I'm so lazy. I should walk.

Please don't.

Mmm. Oh, god,
I need to get sucked.

Oh, yeah!

[Bruce]
Oh, I'm so grateful. Oh.

Suck my cock!
[groans]

Suck my cock,
you dirty bitch.

Suck my cock,
you whore!

-Really?
-What?

You're fantasizing about
giving him a blowjob?

Some dad from the playground
this morning?

[Suzie] I'm trying to
make myself feel better!

You're not into cars.

[Suzie] He's into cars.

Do you know that in real life?

I--it--it's in my imagination!

So. You've made up
that he's into sports cars

so you can fantasize
about him being turned on

in a car he thinks
makes him sexy.

Where are you in this?

I like his desire.
His desire for me
makes me wet.

Suck my cock, you whore!

But he was nice to you!
That was the whole attraction.

Why's he calling
you names, now?

[Phil]
Karen?

Karen!

[Naomi]
I know why.

[Phil] Where is she, deaf bint?

[Naomi]
You've always been
attracted to shitty men.

Go and get me something
from over there, would you?

Good girl. You're a good
little girl, aren't ya?

[Suzie]
I don't like shitty men.
I just wank over them.

-[Naomi] Oh. Beautiful.
-[Suzie] Sometimes.

-Beautiful.
-Well, I can't help it.

Uh, you can help it.
Like they do with paedos.

-What?
-[Naomi] Paedophiles.

'Cause orgasms are really,
like, uh, powerful,

what's the word,
conditioners of behavior?

-[Suzie] Mm-hmm?
-[Naomi] So...

They make paedos wank
over images of, like, adults.

And the more they wank,
the more they orgasm,

the more they get into that.

I'm sorry, who--who does this?

Like, in studies.
And away from, like, the kids.

So hang on a minute.
So you're...

[laughs] so you're saying,
the more I wank over someone

-or just nicer guys,
-[Naomi] Yeah.

I'll eventually start
to fancy them in real life.

Yes! Like you,
you build the muscle.
Like an athlete.

Wank through
your shitty childhood,

come your way
to being a better person.

[young Suzie] Come on!
[giggles]

Two?

Yep. Two whole minutes. Bye!

[girls giggle]

Oh my gosh.

Sorry, you okay?

[young Suzie] It sticks out.

[Suzie]
I'm allowed to think
about that, because I was

-[Suzie] the same age as him...-The same age as him
at the time.

Obviously!
I'm not judging that.

At least he was nice to you.

[young Suzie] Come on.
We're sophisticated enough

to distinguish between
our politics and our desires.

Yeah, but everything
you think is sexy is based on

what men have told you is sexy
for thousands of years.

What part of that do you think
is about your desire?

Your lust? Where do you go to
when it's coming from you?

[panting]

[Carter]
Yeah, so,
reflexology is like

this theory that every part
of your foot is connected

-to another part
of your body, so...
-[Suzie] Mm-hmm?

If I press... here?

[both moaning]

[Naomi]
No! Not Carter.

You should be
thinking about Cob.

You need to cum
to your husband.

Well, hello.

[kisses]

Sorry.

[Naomi]
OK, OK, then
imagine something. Go wild.

He can just feature.

These photos.

[panting]

Can you explain?

Yeah, they're me.
They're all of me.

[moaning]

[moaning]

I can't control her,
sir, she's wild.

What's this little slut doing?

-You can't say slut, sir.
-Shut up!

[policeman]
She's desperate for it, sir.

[Suzie moans]

You wanna get us into trouble,
don't ya, you little whore!

-[Suzie moans]
-What's going on here?

It's only fun.

Sorry, Cob.

[friends]
Five, four, three, two, one!

[friends giggle]

[girl] You're such a slut!

[girl] She is such a slut!

[Naomi] You're such a slut.

Two margaritas, please.

Can't believe
you don't use toys.

They are depressing,
like electric tin openers.

I always think
the sound of them's gonna,

like, [laughs] attract
a bunch of stray cats.

[chuckles] That's so weird.

[meowing]

[Suzie groans]

Fuck!

OK, it says anything deemed
to damage the Disney brand

or bring it into disrepute.
Do we know deemed by who?

OK. All right,
I'll take a look.
All right, thanks.

[sniffs]

Hmm.

[assistant]
Morning, Disney.

Marian Fletcher's office.

Yes, I'm Naomi Jones?
I rep Suzie Pickles

and a few other
people you work with.

Listen, me
and Marianne really need
to have a call today.

She probably mentioned this.

[assistant]
Oh, sorry,

I'm just a temp, so--

Oh, OK. Uh, listen,

she's got 10 minutes at
some point today, doesn't she?

[assistant]
She can do 15 minutes.

Quite soon, though. Eleven?

OK, great. Actually,
I happen to be

in the building before anyway,
'cause I've got a meeting,

so I'll just come straight
to her office

and pop my head in then.

[assistant]
OK.

-If you're here anyway.
-Exactly. Great.

-Thanks. Bye!
-[assistant] OK, thanks. Bye!

[robot beeps] I am your helper.

Ugh. Fuck.

[vibrator buzzes]

[receptionist]
Good morning. Disney UK.

Hi, can you put me
through to Dale Borger's
assistant, please?

[receptionist]
Putting you through.

[Holly]
Dale Borger's office.

Hi, is that Holly?

-[Holly] Yeah.
- Hi, Holly.

Naomi Jones here.

I just wanted to check.
Do you have

a meeting in with me
and Marianne today at 11?

[Holly]
No. Not today.

Oh, really? Well, you should.

They've been begging me
for a meeting about Suzie

and Marianne really wanted
to have it today.

Did her assistant not
message you?

[Holly]
Oh, yeah, no. She's got
a temp in at the moment.

Oh, OK, that explains it.

Well, let me tell you,
if you have any spare moment

to block out with him,
I'd do it then.

Because he'll be really
annoyed if this meeting
happens without him.

[Holly]
Oh, well, OK.

I'm putting it
in the diary now.

Thanks for letting me know.

No worries. Bye!

[vibrator buzzes]

[Naomi]
OK, here we go.

You're gonna cum
thinking about your husband.

He's attractive, right?

To... someone.

[Valerie] Professor?

Professor, do you
mind going over
something else for me?

I like that she likes him.

[Naomi]
Well, get involved.

This is actually quite hot.

[Suzie] Shut up!

-Go away!
-Include him, then.

He's the one you're trying
to get excited about.

[Suzie]
Shall I make
her cum for you?

Yes, please.

[Valerie moans]

Are your fingers inside her?

[Suzie] No. No,
I won't do that.

'Cause that's not gonna work.

Oh, put your
fingers inside her!

-I don't mind.
-This isn't my bag.

I don't even know
what this is really like.

Jesus. Now you're fantasizing
about my desires?

[Naomi]
Come on. From you.

[Carter]
Every part
of your foot is connected

to another part
of your body, so...

Mm-hmm? Yeah?

[Carter] Yeah, so where
did you feel that?

In my pussy?

Right. [laughs]

[laughs]

[Carter] No. N--that was meant

to be your shoulder.

[both laugh]

But, hey, maybe
that's the science, I dunno.

[Suzie laughs]

[Naomi] That was when you met.

It was good when
you first met Cob.

If you can't imagine,
then remember.

Beautiful girl.

[Suzie] Did you see
what I wrote?

-What?
-Did you not see it?

What?

I must've rubbed it off
with the sweat.

Mmm. Whereabouts?

Well, you're just
gonna have to find it.

-Oh really?
-Mm-hmm. Yeah.

[laughing]

[vibrator buzzing]

What're you looking so sad for?

Come on, misery.

[Suzie shrieks and laughs]

[Carter growls] Don't fight me!
Oh, don't fight me.

That's the worst thing
you can do in this situation.

Oh! Oh, no. You're just
gonna have to be happy.

I'm sorry,
I don't make the rules!

Stop, stop!

Oh, you're so,
you're so beautiful.

You're so,
you're so great, and I'm so,
I'm so in love with you.

-You're so beautiful.
-Be the bear.

[Suzie laughs]

Mmm. You feel that?
You feel that?

[Suzie] Oh, yeah.

[Carter] Mm?

I just want you to stay
like that forever.

-[Carter growls]
-[Suzie laughs]

[phone vibrates]

Oh, my god! [sighs]

[door bell rings]

-Oh, hey.
-[courier] Hi, package for Cob?

-[Suzie] Yeah.
-I, um, signature, please?

-[Suzie] There you go.
-Thank you.

[announcer]
Hello there.
We regret to inform you

that there's been
an incident up ahead,

so we'll be stop/start
all the way
to Liverpool Street.

Sorry for the delay
to your journey.

[man grunts]

[phone vibrates]

It was so wild.

It was this American soldier,

training in Portsmouth.

He was so fucking hot.

God, was he in uniform?

Yeah. I love a uniform.

[Naomi] Me too. I wonder why?

Hot, dapper. Yes sir, no sir?

I just think it makes it
easier to work out

which one is
the most important.

Go fuck yourself, Desantos,

like you started watching
soccer yesterday.

Hey, hey. Oh, put
the bottle away,
you little bitch!

-What're you doing?
-Why aren't we sitting down?

-[Charles] Keep walking!
-Hey, baby.

I walked into your fucking ass.

Hey! Language.
There are ladies present.

[Suzie pants]

I'm sorry, ma'am.
I'm just trying to get
these reprobates home.

[both moaning]

So fit!

Gotta be.

I love your teeth.
They're super cute.

[both moaning]

I've always been troubled by
your attraction to Black guys.

-I'm not. What? That's racist.
-It's objectifying.

Course it's fucking
objectifying. I'm masturbating!

You should be training
yourself back to Cob.

Oh, god, get out of my wank!

You're probably gonna
lose the Disney gig.

[Suzie] No. No, no. No.

[Carter sighs]

[Suzie] Not you.

[sighs]

[Naomi] Hi, uh, just,
if you wanted
to report a crime,

or just something
that happened on a train,

where, where would I--
would I talk to you, or...

Like, if a wallet was stolen,
or something?

Have you been
a victim of a crime?

No, I just mean theoretically.

[train staff] Uh, depends.
If anyone's around,

or if they wanna call
the Metropolitan Police.

Can wait in the staff room.

Yeah. How long?

I've got this meeting, so...

I honestly couldn't say.

I could just
go to the website, right?

-I'll go to the website.
-Well, text 61016,

for British Transport Police.

-[Naomi] Yeah.
-There you go.

Thanks. Cheers.

[Suzie] Oh! Come on!
Get me pregnant!

Fuck your baby into me!
[moaning]

No, no. No.
No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

Do, do you want me to stop?

I love you.

I love you.

Am I not beautiful enough?

You're so beautiful.

Am I not clever enough?

You're so clever.

Am I not happy enough?

You're so happy.

[moans]

I love you!

Fuck!

You know what I call that?

When you cry after?

A French wank.

[sniffs]

-Hey.
-[Suzie] Hey, what happened?

It was good, good meeting.

No, I mean th--
the guy on the train.

Oh god. Forget it. Just, uh,

on the train on the way back
there was a guy

that was... I think he was,
like, touching himself,
or some shit?

Oh my god, I've had that.

[Naomi]
Yeah, it's like
I didn't know,

and then I did know.

Yeah, it was pretty special.

Look, in real news,
I just saw Disney,
and they're very excited.

I've managed to
emotionally blackmail them
into supporting you.

What?

We're in good shape, OK?

They want to behave
in the best possible moral way,

and actually, in today's money,they look pretty villainous
if they dump you.

So you still have the role of "Aging Princess."

OK. [chuckles]

[Naomi]
I'm a legend!

I'm in a cab, so.
Love you!

- Love you, too. Bye.
-[Naomi] Bye!

Jeez, it's just right there.
It's just right there.

[woman on radio]
There has been
another serious sexual assault

in West London, when a woman
running in Ravenscourt Park

was dragged into
some bushes around
seven o'clock last night.

Police are appealing
for any witnesses that were
in or near the park...

'Scuse me, 'scuse me?
Sorry, would you mind
putting some music on?

[rock music playing]

♪ I don't love you
And I never will ♪

♪ Come on, baby
Let me get my fill ♪

♪ I got you on my mind

♪ Heartbreaker gonna take
My soul ♪

♪ I'll move your body
To the rock 'n roll ♪

♪ I got you on my mind

♪ Come on, baby...