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1
00:00:18,569 --> 00:00:21,570
Ladies and gentlemen,
this motion picture
is dedicated to you.
2
00:00:21,639 --> 00:00:23,139
To you in this theater
3
00:00:23,208 --> 00:00:25,408
and to all refugees
from television
throughout the world.
4
00:00:25,476 --> 00:00:26,843
We in
the motion picture industry
5
00:00:26,912 --> 00:00:29,645
would like to pay tribute
to a most wonderful person.
6
00:00:29,714 --> 00:00:31,830
And here he is,
the American movie fan.
7
00:00:42,193 --> 00:00:44,761
We also would
like to pay tribute
to the British movie fan.
8
00:00:52,704 --> 00:00:54,237
Half a mo.
9
00:01:00,845 --> 00:01:03,462
Our hats are off
to the honorable
Oriental movie fan.
10
00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:10,703
(EXCLAIMS)
11
00:01:18,446 --> 00:01:20,797
This is a French movie fan.
12
00:01:20,865 --> 00:01:23,232
He hasn't seen a movie in years.
13
00:01:29,791 --> 00:01:31,541
In all countries
throughout the world,
14
00:01:31,610 --> 00:01:33,309
the movie fan
enjoys the movie.
15
00:01:34,546 --> 00:01:35,611
(EXCLAIMING)
16
00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:40,717
Da! Da! Da! Da! Da!
17
00:01:40,802 --> 00:01:44,270
Yes, there are
movie fans everywhere
but wherever they are
18
00:01:44,338 --> 00:01:49,025
you can bet they
would all like to go
to Hollywood or bust!
19
00:01:49,093 --> 00:01:52,529
♪ Land of stardust and land of glamour
20
00:01:52,597 --> 00:01:55,732
♪ VistaVision and Cinerama
21
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:58,467
MALCOLM: ♪ Everyone considers it a must
22
00:01:58,536 --> 00:02:02,422
BOTH: ♪ To get to Hollywood or bust!
23
00:02:02,490 --> 00:02:05,908
♪ Kids from Kansas to Pennsylvania
24
00:02:05,977 --> 00:02:09,178
♪ Soon develop that movie mania
25
00:02:09,247 --> 00:02:11,997
♪ Driving their jalopies through the dust
26
00:02:12,066 --> 00:02:16,135
BOTH: ♪ En route to Hollywood or bust
27
00:02:16,204 --> 00:02:19,506
♪ When I park my tootsies in Hollywood
28
00:02:19,574 --> 00:02:22,942
♪ Brother, I'm gonna stay
29
00:02:23,011 --> 00:02:26,212
♪ Till the day those footprints at Grauman's
30
00:02:26,281 --> 00:02:29,582
♪ Get up and start walkin' away
31
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:33,319
♪ Land of burgers and land of wienies
32
00:02:33,388 --> 00:02:36,489
♪ Bathing beauties in their bikinis
33
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:38,841
♪ All agree in Paramount we trust
34
00:02:41,162 --> 00:02:43,462
BOTH: ♪ So hop a train or trolley
35
00:02:43,531 --> 00:02:47,200
♪ Out to jolly Hollywood
36
00:02:47,268 --> 00:02:50,903
♪ Hollywood or bust ♪
37
00:02:52,007 --> 00:02:54,940
CHORUS: ♪ It looks like love
38
00:02:55,010 --> 00:02:57,076
♪ It feels like love ♪
39
00:03:17,048 --> 00:03:18,114
COMMENTATOR OVER PA: Tiny Tim takes the lead.
40
00:03:18,183 --> 00:03:19,215
Bachelor is second.
41
00:03:19,284 --> 00:03:20,749
A Stitch In Time is third.
42
00:03:20,818 --> 00:03:22,618
One length behind is Miss Connie B.
43
00:03:22,687 --> 00:03:24,454
And now it's Bachelor coming up fast.
44
00:03:24,522 --> 00:03:26,239
It's Bachelor and She's A Girl.
45
00:03:26,307 --> 00:03:27,757
It's Bachelor and She's A Girl.
46
00:03:27,826 --> 00:03:29,024
Bachelor gaining ground.
47
00:03:29,093 --> 00:03:30,493
Bachelor has taken the lead.
48
00:03:30,562 --> 00:03:31,928
She's A Girl is hanging on.
49
00:03:31,996 --> 00:03:34,029
Turning for home, Bachelor moves in close.
50
00:03:34,098 --> 00:03:35,798
It's Bachelor and She's A Girl.
51
00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:37,299
Coming into the stretch, it's Bachelor
52
00:03:37,368 --> 00:03:38,768
and She's A Girl neck and neck.
53
00:03:38,837 --> 00:03:40,536
Bachelor is crowding She's A Girl.
54
00:03:40,605 --> 00:03:42,237
It's Bachelor making his move.
55
00:03:42,306 --> 00:03:44,139
And now moving up it's Tiny Tim.
56
00:03:44,208 --> 00:03:46,008
Tiny Tim coming up behind Bachelor.
57
00:03:46,077 --> 00:03:48,878
It's Tiny Tim right on Bachelor's tail.
58
00:03:51,850 --> 00:03:53,148
Say good night
to the redhead!
59
00:03:53,217 --> 00:03:54,450
Good night, redhead.
60
00:03:54,519 --> 00:03:57,787
Are you going to let him
talk to me that way?
61
00:03:57,856 --> 00:03:59,856
Yeah, yeah.
I'll see you later.
62
00:03:59,924 --> 00:04:01,023
How much later?
63
00:04:01,092 --> 00:04:02,892
3,000 bucks later! Beat it!
64
00:04:06,781 --> 00:04:08,914
The boss got awful nervous
about his investment.
65
00:04:08,983 --> 00:04:10,082
Give me a chance, Bookie.
66
00:04:10,151 --> 00:04:12,252
I'm playing
a sure thing tonight.
67
00:04:12,320 --> 00:04:13,453
Tonight? Who're you kidding?
68
00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:15,121
Tracks don't run at night.
69
00:04:15,189 --> 00:04:17,423
I'm telling you
I'll have more than
3 G's in collateral tonight.
70
00:04:17,492 --> 00:04:19,392
Collateral! Talk English!
71
00:04:19,461 --> 00:04:22,695
I just figured
the smartest stunt
ever pulled in New York.
72
00:04:31,906 --> 00:04:33,239
Tickets, so?
73
00:04:33,308 --> 00:04:34,641
So look.
74
00:04:38,663 --> 00:04:40,362
Can you read?
Very funny.
75
00:04:42,617 --> 00:04:47,119
"Lucky ticket
wins a car tonight."
76
00:04:47,188 --> 00:04:48,437
That is very good.
77
00:04:48,506 --> 00:04:49,639
Thank you.
78
00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:51,273
Those tickets are
for the car, huh?
79
00:04:51,342 --> 00:04:52,842
A duplicate set!
80
00:04:52,911 --> 00:04:55,177
A kid who works
for the printer
is a friend of mine.
81
00:04:55,246 --> 00:04:58,047
Any number
they call tonight,
I got it.
82
00:04:58,115 --> 00:05:00,315
That's fine. Now, suppose
the legal winner shows up
83
00:05:00,384 --> 00:05:02,585
with the legal ticket,
then what?
84
00:05:02,654 --> 00:05:06,923
You've seen bank nights,
church bazaars?
Church bazaars!
85
00:05:06,991 --> 00:05:09,959
Look, you know they call five
and six numbers
before they hit a ticket
86
00:05:10,028 --> 00:05:11,994
that someone
in the audience
is holding.
87
00:05:12,063 --> 00:05:13,629
But tonight they're
gonna have a winner
88
00:05:13,698 --> 00:05:16,231
the first time out,
then I pay off the boss.
89
00:05:16,300 --> 00:05:18,400
Sounds legit.
That's what worries me.
90
00:05:18,469 --> 00:05:19,835
What are you
worried about, Bookie?
91
00:05:19,904 --> 00:05:21,203
I got it cold!
92
00:05:21,272 --> 00:05:22,404
You'd better!
93
00:05:22,473 --> 00:05:24,540
You could be cold
an awful long time.
94
00:05:24,609 --> 00:05:26,542
Long time, huh?
95
00:05:35,753 --> 00:05:37,353
How about moving up, buddy?
96
00:05:37,422 --> 00:05:39,455
Huh? Oh.
97
00:05:39,523 --> 00:05:42,091
Oh! I'm awfully sorry.
98
00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:43,225
I was reading.
99
00:05:43,294 --> 00:05:44,327
Good for you.
100
00:05:44,395 --> 00:05:45,527
She sure is.
101
00:05:45,596 --> 00:05:46,729
Who is?
102
00:05:46,798 --> 00:05:48,597
Anita Ekberg,
my favorite actress.
103
00:05:48,666 --> 00:05:50,900
I saw her last picture
six times.
104
00:05:50,968 --> 00:05:52,468
Couldn't be with
a body like that.
105
00:05:52,537 --> 00:05:54,237
What couldn't be?
Her last picture.
106
00:05:54,305 --> 00:05:58,023
Oh. I get it.
It's like a joke.
107
00:05:58,092 --> 00:05:59,758
Yeah, but it was
a terrific picture.
108
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:03,229
You see, in this picture
she plays the part of a girl
who's searching,
109
00:06:03,298 --> 00:06:06,899
searching, searching!
110
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,967
What was she
searching for?
111
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:13,172
She didn't know.
That's why she was
always searching, searching.
112
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,623
You see this was
a terrific picture.
113
00:06:14,692 --> 00:06:16,025
It was called
The Lavender Tattooer,
114
00:06:16,094 --> 00:06:17,426
co-starring
Bertrum Lardbutter.
115
00:06:17,495 --> 00:06:18,827
It was produced by
the Nathan Brothers
116
00:06:18,896 --> 00:06:20,163
and directed
by William B. Hoffmeyer.
117
00:06:20,231 --> 00:06:21,581
Part of it was shot
in Lower Tasmania.
118
00:06:21,649 --> 00:06:22,948
That was directed
by Howard Rasnevitch.
119
00:06:23,017 --> 00:06:24,884
Costumes by
Patricia Wonderstone.
120
00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:26,452
The screenplay was
by Willie Rackauer,
121
00:06:26,521 --> 00:06:27,953
Harry Jones and
Florence Hershfield.
122
00:06:28,022 --> 00:06:29,171
That was for
the woman's touch.
123
00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,006
From a play by John
and Betty Stetson,
124
00:06:31,075 --> 00:06:33,209
based on an incidental remark
dropped by
a waiter at Sardi's,
125
00:06:33,277 --> 00:06:36,962
name of Nicholas Blainey,
in Technicolor
and VistaVision.
126
00:06:37,031 --> 00:06:38,480
You only saw that six times?
127
00:06:38,549 --> 00:06:39,782
That's all.
128
00:06:39,851 --> 00:06:41,600
To me the most wonderful part
of the whole picture
129
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:44,303
was the Bali Bali sequence,
where she did
the Balinese dance.
130
00:06:44,372 --> 00:06:46,772
(HUMMING)
131
00:07:09,097 --> 00:07:11,564
I'm awfully sorry.
That was my fault.
Can I help you?
132
00:07:11,632 --> 00:07:13,165
Never mind, kid.
133
00:07:13,234 --> 00:07:16,102
Hey, that printer's kid
sure gets around.
134
00:07:16,170 --> 00:07:19,205
Hey, kid, how come you got
so many of those tickets?
135
00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:23,041
Oh, well,
I come here every night,
Sundays and even my days off.
136
00:07:23,111 --> 00:07:24,743
(STAMMERS) That is
from the delicatessen.
137
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,512
Because, you see,
I'm gonna win the car,
138
00:07:26,581 --> 00:07:28,847
and then I'm gonna drive
to Hollywood
and I'm gonna meet her.
139
00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:31,817
You're gonna win the car?
And you're gonna meet who?
140
00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,819
Well, Anita,
naturally, you know.
141
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,687
And the reason I say
I'm gonna win the car
142
00:07:35,756 --> 00:07:37,590
is because I just have
that very lucky feeling.
143
00:07:37,658 --> 00:07:38,857
I feel lucky,
that's all.
144
00:07:38,926 --> 00:07:39,958
Well, lots of luck.
145
00:07:40,027 --> 00:07:41,627
Thank you very much.
Excuse me.
146
00:07:45,249 --> 00:07:47,633
Well, good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
147
00:07:47,701 --> 00:07:50,819
I guess we all know
why we're here, don't we?
148
00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:53,372
Yeah, they all came
to see me win the car!
149
00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:58,344
Well, I am going
to win it.
150
00:07:58,412 --> 00:08:01,647
That's the spirit,
young man.
151
00:08:01,716 --> 00:08:04,951
Now I know
we're all anxious
for the big moment.
152
00:08:05,019 --> 00:08:08,087
And here it is!
153
00:08:08,156 --> 00:08:09,822
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
154
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,376
(WHISTLING)
155
00:08:25,022 --> 00:08:27,539
Okay, Bookie, it's post time,
they're off and running.
156
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:32,678
Miss Pettywood,
principal of P.S. Number 655
157
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:34,547
will draw the lucky number.
158
00:08:40,772 --> 00:08:43,205
You've got some
popcorn in there.
Lady, I'm sorry.
159
00:08:43,274 --> 00:08:44,840
Wait, let me
just get this out.
160
00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:47,542
Could you hold this, please?
161
00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:49,478
I'm sorry, lady.
162
00:08:49,546 --> 00:08:52,614
Wait, there's just
a few pieces here
of popcorn.
163
00:08:52,683 --> 00:08:54,683
It'll take a second.
164
00:08:54,752 --> 00:08:58,237
Wait one second.
Here. Down. Stay down.
Nice hair. Good. Down.
165
00:09:01,259 --> 00:09:03,925
Thank you, Miss Pettywood.
166
00:09:03,994 --> 00:09:06,662
I will read
the lucky number slowly.
167
00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:09,815
The minute I get
on the stage, you blow.
168
00:09:09,884 --> 00:09:12,050
I'll blow but just
outside the door.
169
00:09:13,871 --> 00:09:14,903
"K..."
170
00:09:14,972 --> 00:09:16,455
K.
Okay.
171
00:09:16,507 --> 00:09:20,309
"...136..."
172
00:09:20,378 --> 00:09:23,813
K136. No. No. K136.
173
00:09:23,881 --> 00:09:27,900
"...32."
I will repeat
the lucky number.
174
00:09:27,968 --> 00:09:33,939
K13632.
175
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:35,040
What K?
176
00:09:35,109 --> 00:09:36,125
ALL: Aw!
177
00:09:38,129 --> 00:09:39,745
What is it, K39?
178
00:09:39,814 --> 00:09:40,913
(STAMMERING)
179
00:09:40,982 --> 00:09:43,115
Numbers... K136.
180
00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:45,418
K1362. These are R's.
181
00:09:45,486 --> 00:09:47,853
What, no R's,
no H's, no M's, no L's,
182
00:09:47,922 --> 00:09:51,007
no R's, no M's,
no L's, no K's?
183
00:09:51,075 --> 00:09:52,641
I got it!
184
00:09:52,710 --> 00:09:54,543
(APPLAUDING)
It can't be!
I got that lucky feeling!
185
00:09:54,612 --> 00:09:56,712
Wait a minute,
there's gotta be...
186
00:09:59,784 --> 00:10:00,916
(WHISTLING)
187
00:10:02,737 --> 00:10:05,087
I'd run, too,
for a car like this.
188
00:10:05,156 --> 00:10:06,455
What is your name, sir?
189
00:10:06,524 --> 00:10:07,989
Wiley. Steve Wiley.
190
00:10:10,327 --> 00:10:14,329
K13632. That's correct.
191
00:10:17,034 --> 00:10:18,717
I knew I had
this number somewhere.
192
00:10:18,786 --> 00:10:20,019
Here.
193
00:10:24,125 --> 00:10:29,194
I've got it!
I won the car!
I'll be right down!
194
00:10:29,263 --> 00:10:31,163
I got it! I won the car!
195
00:10:31,232 --> 00:10:32,564
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
196
00:10:32,634 --> 00:10:35,001
Wait! Wait! Wait! I got it!
197
00:10:35,069 --> 00:10:36,235
(EXCLAIMING)
198
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:37,703
Wait! I...
199
00:10:38,873 --> 00:10:41,974
Wait! Wait! Wait!
Don't let go.
200
00:10:42,576 --> 00:10:45,410
(SCREAMING)
201
00:10:45,479 --> 00:10:48,797
Wait. Just let me...
Wait, I'm coming.
Wait. Let me...
202
00:10:48,866 --> 00:10:52,184
Let me... Please, I...
Let me... Let me...
203
00:11:01,979 --> 00:11:03,378
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
204
00:11:10,621 --> 00:11:14,089
Look, you don't want to make
a fool of yourself
in front of all these people.
205
00:11:14,158 --> 00:11:15,574
You made a mistake!
206
00:11:15,643 --> 00:11:17,576
No, I didn't.
The winning ticket's
between my teeth.
207
00:11:17,645 --> 00:11:18,777
Yeah?
Yeah.
208
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:20,179
Good luck.
209
00:11:23,151 --> 00:11:25,017
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
210
00:11:25,086 --> 00:11:27,202
He's trying
to pull a fast one.
Now he says he swallowed it.
211
00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:28,403
Come on, give me the key.
I'm ready to go.
212
00:11:28,472 --> 00:11:30,205
I know that boy.
That's Malcolm Smith
213
00:11:30,274 --> 00:11:33,074
from the
Robespierre Delicatessen.
I've never known him to lie.
214
00:11:33,144 --> 00:11:36,361
Well, he don't look too well.
He's cracking. Look.
215
00:11:43,504 --> 00:11:46,505
You, sir,
better take a cab.
This car is mine!
216
00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:50,359
It is correct!
There are two winners.
217
00:11:56,534 --> 00:11:58,050
What do you think
you're doing?
218
00:11:58,119 --> 00:11:59,584
I'm just practicing
for Hollywood.
219
00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:01,453
My own car!
I can't believe it!
220
00:12:01,522 --> 00:12:03,255
My very own car! Oh, boy!
221
00:12:03,324 --> 00:12:05,173
(CAR HONKING)
222
00:12:05,259 --> 00:12:07,860
Two cars were won
and two cars
you're gonna give away.
223
00:12:07,928 --> 00:12:09,494
You don't want me
to bring legal action.
224
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,163
Now be reasonable,
Mr. Wiley.
225
00:12:11,232 --> 00:12:13,398
You don't expect me
to give away two cars!
226
00:12:13,467 --> 00:12:16,034
It's a double feature.
Give them each a car!
227
00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,403
(ALL SHOUTING)
228
00:12:17,471 --> 00:12:18,654
Quiet!
229
00:12:20,491 --> 00:12:21,723
Quiet!
230
00:12:21,792 --> 00:12:24,509
Quiet, please!
Bring down the curtain!
231
00:12:24,579 --> 00:12:27,245
Quiet! Quiet!
232
00:12:27,314 --> 00:12:29,597
Here's how they do it
in the movies.
233
00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:34,736
Quiet!
234
00:12:34,805 --> 00:12:36,604
Now listen, kid,
no matter what kind
of a pitch he gives us,
235
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:37,739
we each get a car. Right?
236
00:12:37,808 --> 00:12:40,042
Right. But this one's mine!
237
00:12:40,110 --> 00:12:42,410
Look, no matter what he does,
we don't budge. Right?
238
00:12:42,479 --> 00:12:44,246
Right. But this one's mine!
239
00:12:44,314 --> 00:12:46,114
Now, don't get soft
no matter how he cries.
Right?
240
00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:47,783
Right. Except I hate
to see a man cry.
241
00:12:47,852 --> 00:12:50,285
Well, now,
let's get down
to cases.
242
00:12:50,354 --> 00:12:53,172
It's comparatively simple,
he gets a car
and I get a car.
243
00:12:53,241 --> 00:12:54,940
This car is
for both of you.
244
00:12:55,009 --> 00:12:56,559
What's "for both of you"
supposed to mean?
245
00:12:56,627 --> 00:12:59,194
You both won the car.
You both get the car.
246
00:12:59,263 --> 00:13:00,729
Split it between you.
247
00:13:00,798 --> 00:13:04,166
Betty, will you
drive this outside
for the joint owners?
248
00:13:04,234 --> 00:13:08,003
And if you're not satisfied
with my decision,
you can sue the printer!
249
00:13:08,072 --> 00:13:10,005
He made the mistake.
250
00:13:10,074 --> 00:13:11,190
He has
a very good point there.
251
00:13:11,259 --> 00:13:12,424
Why don't you sue
the printer?
252
00:13:12,493 --> 00:13:14,126
Then you'll get your car.
253
00:13:14,195 --> 00:13:15,778
Me sue the printer?
254
00:13:15,846 --> 00:13:17,780
Listen, let's not
get hasty, Malcolm.
255
00:13:17,848 --> 00:13:19,882
Maybe the nice man is right.
256
00:13:19,950 --> 00:13:22,150
Maybe he can't afford
to give away two cars.
257
00:13:22,219 --> 00:13:23,552
Well, that ain't my fault!
258
00:13:23,621 --> 00:13:26,555
Well, it just so happens
that I live in Hollywood.
259
00:13:26,624 --> 00:13:28,390
You live in Hollywood?
260
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:31,059
Not only do I live
in Hollywood,
261
00:13:31,128 --> 00:13:34,229
but this young lady
happens to be
my next-door neighbor.
262
00:13:34,298 --> 00:13:38,517
(STAMMERING)
You know... You know her?
263
00:13:38,586 --> 00:13:41,954
Do I know her!
She drives me crazy, Malcolm!
264
00:13:42,022 --> 00:13:43,088
Me, too.
265
00:13:43,156 --> 00:13:44,422
She keeps coming
to my back door
266
00:13:44,492 --> 00:13:46,124
and wants to borrow
a couple cups of sugar.
267
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:47,359
Sugar,
that's nice, yeah.
268
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:48,460
A couple eggs.
269
00:13:48,529 --> 00:13:49,828
Oh, eggs, good.
270
00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:52,464
I go over to her place,
I borrow a grapefruit or two.
271
00:13:52,533 --> 00:13:53,866
Oh, that's cute.
272
00:13:53,934 --> 00:13:57,202
And we talk over the fence.
You know how neighbors are.
273
00:13:57,270 --> 00:13:58,670
Yeah, but this is
how my neighbors are.
274
00:13:58,739 --> 00:14:00,105
Let's talk about
your neighbors.
275
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,239
Talk about her?
276
00:14:01,308 --> 00:14:04,409
I will personally
introduce you to her.
277
00:14:04,478 --> 00:14:06,211
Oh, that's wonderful!
Soon as we get out there.
278
00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:07,279
I'm very happy.
279
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,468
We'll jump in the car
and we'll go
to Hollywood together.
280
00:14:12,536 --> 00:14:14,570
How about that, old buddy,
old pal, Malcolm?
281
00:14:14,639 --> 00:14:17,139
Oh, that's wonderful.
I've never ever been
anybody's buddy before.
282
00:14:17,207 --> 00:14:18,640
Nobody's buddy?
Oh, no.
283
00:14:18,708 --> 00:14:19,758
As a matter of fact,
you know,
284
00:14:19,827 --> 00:14:21,526
when I was a kid,
I was never chosen.
285
00:14:21,595 --> 00:14:23,528
Never chosen?
No, not for nothing.
286
00:14:23,597 --> 00:14:24,696
I'll even go further
with you.
287
00:14:24,765 --> 00:14:26,398
You know, I never even
ever had a pen pal.
288
00:14:26,467 --> 00:14:27,699
No pen pal?
289
00:14:27,768 --> 00:14:29,768
But I wouldn't
want her to know that.
Anita, that is.
290
00:14:29,837 --> 00:14:32,037
'Cause I wouldn't want
for her to think
I was peculiar.
291
00:14:32,106 --> 00:14:33,505
That's our secret, Malcolm.
292
00:14:33,574 --> 00:14:35,174
Oh, that's wonderful.
Then we'll be pals
293
00:14:35,243 --> 00:14:37,809
like Burt Lancaster
and Katharine Hepburn
in The Rainmaker.
294
00:14:37,879 --> 00:14:38,978
Yeah.
295
00:14:40,614 --> 00:14:43,983
Our first car!
Could I please
get in before you?
296
00:14:44,051 --> 00:14:45,684
I love to smell new cars.
297
00:14:45,753 --> 00:14:47,486
Go ahead,
take a great big whiff.
298
00:14:56,246 --> 00:14:57,779
(CHUCKLES)
299
00:14:57,848 --> 00:14:59,748
How nice. Oh, good.
300
00:14:59,817 --> 00:15:01,082
(CAR HONKING)
301
00:15:04,538 --> 00:15:06,105
I don't mean
to be fashitious.
302
00:15:06,173 --> 00:15:07,606
"Fashitious"?
Yeah.
303
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:09,007
Did I hear "Hollywood"?
304
00:15:09,076 --> 00:15:11,043
Well, he had
the legal ticket, see,
you understand?
305
00:15:11,112 --> 00:15:12,978
So I had to make off
like we're partners
in the car.
306
00:15:13,047 --> 00:15:15,280
You have a partner.
Remember?
I know I got a partner.
307
00:15:15,349 --> 00:15:16,514
Bookie, look,
I'll get rid of the kid
308
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:17,750
and I'll come
back with the car.
309
00:15:17,818 --> 00:15:19,417
Oh, I'll wait here.
Yeah, you wait
right here.
310
00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:21,053
Remember what
"fashitious" say.
311
00:15:21,122 --> 00:15:22,855
"Fashitious"?
Yeah.
312
00:15:25,059 --> 00:15:26,592
He talks funny.
313
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:30,629
You like it, old buddy?
314
00:15:30,698 --> 00:15:31,830
I love it.
315
00:15:31,899 --> 00:15:33,065
And we'll keep it
nice and shiny
316
00:15:33,133 --> 00:15:34,933
all the way to Hollywood,
won't we, Steve?
317
00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:36,334
Sure we will.
318
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,103
(BLOWING)
319
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:49,698
All right, I'll be back
for you soon as I get
my things packed.
320
00:15:49,767 --> 00:15:52,401
And I'll be right here
waiting for you, buddy.
321
00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,158
All right,
come on, boy!
322
00:15:59,210 --> 00:16:01,376
Come on, boy!
Did you miss me, boy?
323
00:16:01,445 --> 00:16:03,395
Come on,
that's a good boy.
324
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,547
Hello, sweet boy.
325
00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:06,749
What is that?
326
00:16:06,817 --> 00:16:08,867
This is my dog.
His name is Mr. Bascom.
327
00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:10,802
I thought
for a minute
it was Swaps.
328
00:16:10,871 --> 00:16:12,704
Oh, no.
This is my Mr. Bascom.
329
00:16:12,773 --> 00:16:13,872
Well, there it is, see?
330
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,774
I won the car,
just like I promised.
331
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:18,527
And now we'll go
to Hollywood
and you'll meet Lassie.
332
00:16:18,596 --> 00:16:20,328
Okay, Malcolm,
I'll see you.
333
00:16:20,398 --> 00:16:22,414
Right.
Hurry back, buddy.
334
00:16:26,887 --> 00:16:28,220
Goodbye, buddy.
335
00:16:28,289 --> 00:16:30,438
Goodbye, old buddy.
336
00:16:30,507 --> 00:16:33,341
You, too. So long.
Get out! Hey, out of the car!
337
00:16:33,410 --> 00:16:34,442
(GROWLING)
338
00:16:34,511 --> 00:16:36,211
Will you get out of here?
339
00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:38,313
Why don't you go
down the street,
play with Lassie?
340
00:16:38,382 --> 00:16:39,882
Lassie's down there,
she's a doll.
341
00:16:39,950 --> 00:16:42,251
Go on, get out of the car.
342
00:16:42,319 --> 00:16:45,087
Okay, sit there!
If you think I'm getting
my brains massaged
343
00:16:45,156 --> 00:16:47,555
by Bookie Benny
on account of you...
344
00:16:49,093 --> 00:16:50,225
Get out!
345
00:16:50,294 --> 00:16:51,359
(IMITATING BARKING)
346
00:16:51,428 --> 00:16:52,594
Get out!
347
00:16:52,663 --> 00:16:54,679
(MR. BASCOM BARKING)
348
00:16:56,350 --> 00:16:58,150
(MR. BASCOM GROWLING)
349
00:16:58,219 --> 00:16:59,617
I'm glad you waited, Steve.
350
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,087
I'm a pretty fast
packer-upper.
351
00:17:02,156 --> 00:17:04,589
Hey, Mr. Bascom,
where's my buddy?
352
00:17:04,658 --> 00:17:06,058
Here I am.
353
00:17:12,950 --> 00:17:15,617
(SNORING)
354
00:17:21,275 --> 00:17:24,842
MALCOLM: ♪ Land of stardust
and land of glamour
355
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:27,712
♪ VistaVision and Cinerama
356
00:17:27,781 --> 00:17:30,482
♪ Everyone considers it a must
357
00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:33,218
♪ To get to Hollywood or bust
358
00:17:33,287 --> 00:17:34,319
(BARKING TO SONG)
359
00:17:34,388 --> 00:17:37,822
♪ Kids from Kansas
to Pennsylvania
360
00:17:37,891 --> 00:17:40,892
♪ Soon develop
that movie mania
361
00:17:40,961 --> 00:17:43,595
♪ Riding their jalopies
through the dust
362
00:17:43,664 --> 00:17:46,798
♪ En route
to Hollywood or bust ♪
363
00:17:46,867 --> 00:17:51,853
(BARKING TO SONG)
364
00:18:06,653 --> 00:18:08,386
Boy, I'm lucky.
365
00:18:08,455 --> 00:18:10,472
Do you know
when I first found out
I was lucky?
366
00:18:10,540 --> 00:18:11,990
When?
367
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,793
When I entered
the Send in a Poochy
Pup Dog Food Jingle
368
00:18:14,861 --> 00:18:16,828
for the Poochy Pup Dog Food
Jingle contest.
369
00:18:16,897 --> 00:18:18,580
You want to hear
how it goes?
370
00:18:18,649 --> 00:18:19,948
No, but I will.
371
00:18:20,017 --> 00:18:21,816
Okay.
372
00:18:21,885 --> 00:18:25,787
(TO TUNE OF ROCK-A-BYE BABY)
♪ I eat Poochy Pup Dog Food
out of the can
373
00:18:25,856 --> 00:18:29,741
♪ It makes me eat my food
just like a man
374
00:18:29,810 --> 00:18:33,795
♪ My coat is so glossy,
shiny and bright
375
00:18:33,864 --> 00:18:37,732
♪ My master can find me
in the middle of the night ♪
376
00:18:37,801 --> 00:18:38,917
You like it?
377
00:18:38,986 --> 00:18:41,686
I think it'll live forever,
maybe longer.
378
00:18:41,755 --> 00:18:44,156
Yeah, but actually I cheated.
379
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,657
Cheated?
380
00:18:45,726 --> 00:18:48,193
Yeah, you see,
I don't really like
Poochy Pup Dog Food.
381
00:18:48,262 --> 00:18:49,628
It tastes awful.
382
00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:51,680
But it was worth it
to win Mr. Bascom.
383
00:18:51,748 --> 00:18:55,200
You know, I'm surprised
you don't take better care
of that dog.
384
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:57,285
Oh, I take care of him.
He was with me all day,
385
00:18:57,354 --> 00:18:59,704
under the hot pastrami counter
at the delicatessen.
386
00:18:59,773 --> 00:19:02,524
You know,
we've been driving for hours
and this dog needs exercise.
387
00:19:02,593 --> 00:19:04,509
Don't you ever
take him for walks?
388
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,160
Oh, yeah, but you're driving
389
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:09,481
and I didn't want
to bother you
with Mr. Bascom's exercise.
390
00:19:12,636 --> 00:19:15,036
Bother me?
It's a pleasure,
buddy, pal.
391
00:19:15,105 --> 00:19:17,873
Well, gee, it's
real nice of you to think
about Mr. Bascom that way.
392
00:19:17,941 --> 00:19:20,675
It shows
you have a good heart.
Thank you very much, Steve.
393
00:19:20,744 --> 00:19:23,612
Go ahead, take him
over the hill. Let him run
way over the hill.
394
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,480
Oh, yeah, I will
and he runs fast.
395
00:19:25,549 --> 00:19:27,916
The fastest dog you ever saw
in your whole life.
Watch him run.
396
00:19:27,984 --> 00:19:30,519
He's a fast dog.
Come on, let's go.
397
00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:32,554
Let's go, Basc. Come on.
398
00:19:32,623 --> 00:19:35,123
Attaboy!
Over the hill!
399
00:19:35,192 --> 00:19:37,960
Way over the hill!
Good. Way over!
400
00:19:38,028 --> 00:19:40,011
(MR. BASCOM BARKING)
401
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:41,246
Go on!
402
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:45,250
(MR. BASCOM BARKING)
403
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:49,103
(GROWLING)
404
00:19:49,172 --> 00:19:52,357
(BARKING)
405
00:19:52,426 --> 00:19:54,409
(MR. BASCOM GROWLING)
406
00:20:09,176 --> 00:20:10,242
All right,
you wait here.
407
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:11,877
Yeah, I'll wait here.
408
00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:14,246
I'll take the keys.
409
00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:15,480
Why?
410
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,116
Just so Mr. Bascom
doesn't chew on them.
411
00:20:18,185 --> 00:20:20,886
Oh, Mr. Bascom
wouldn't do that.
He loves our car.
412
00:20:20,954 --> 00:20:22,921
You're telling me.
413
00:20:25,893 --> 00:20:27,909
He doesn't trust us
at all.
414
00:20:32,365 --> 00:20:34,082
(PHONE RINGING)
415
00:20:35,585 --> 00:20:36,901
BOOKIE BENNY: Hello.
416
00:20:36,970 --> 00:20:38,837
Hello, Bookie? Steve.
417
00:20:38,889 --> 00:20:41,089
(MUMBLING)
You fink! Where are you?
418
00:20:41,158 --> 00:20:43,725
Is that you, Bookie? You sound funny.
419
00:20:43,793 --> 00:20:47,295
That's because
I'm talking
without any teeth.
420
00:20:47,364 --> 00:20:49,331
The boss fixed me good.
421
00:20:49,399 --> 00:20:52,050
But that's nothing
compared to what
he's going to do to you.
422
00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:53,768
All right,
take it easy, Bookie.
423
00:20:53,837 --> 00:20:55,436
Look, I couldn't shake
the kid.
424
00:20:55,505 --> 00:20:58,173
He's got a dog big enough
to be a winner at Hialeah.
425
00:20:58,242 --> 00:20:59,357
What could I do?
426
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:01,209
Well, you had better
stay out of sight,
427
00:21:01,277 --> 00:21:03,845
because if the boss
don't find you, I will!
428
00:21:03,914 --> 00:21:06,080
He wants his 3 grand!
429
00:21:06,149 --> 00:21:07,615
Oh, he'll get his 3 grand.
430
00:21:07,684 --> 00:21:09,450
Look, the kid and I
are driving out
to Hollywood.
431
00:21:09,519 --> 00:21:11,820
When we get there,
I'll sell the car.
Then I'll send you the money,
432
00:21:11,889 --> 00:21:12,988
and I'll probably
still have enough money
433
00:21:13,057 --> 00:21:14,422
to make a killing
at Hollywood Park!
434
00:21:14,491 --> 00:21:16,290
(CAR STARTING)
435
00:21:18,929 --> 00:21:20,178
The car!
436
00:21:20,981 --> 00:21:23,181
He took his... My car!
437
00:21:28,888 --> 00:21:30,855
Malcolm!
438
00:21:33,577 --> 00:21:34,826
Malcolm!
439
00:21:38,115 --> 00:21:40,215
Malcolm! Malcolm!
440
00:21:41,584 --> 00:21:43,017
Malcolm!
441
00:21:44,805 --> 00:21:50,291
(CAR HONKING)
442
00:21:54,682 --> 00:21:56,081
What do you think
you're doing?
443
00:21:56,150 --> 00:21:59,184
Oh, I just wanted to try
and drive it one time.
444
00:21:59,252 --> 00:22:01,086
How could you start it
without the keys?
445
00:22:01,155 --> 00:22:04,455
Oh, there was an extra set
in the glove compartment.
446
00:22:05,959 --> 00:22:09,661
I know, you were scared
that something happened to me.
447
00:22:09,730 --> 00:22:12,064
You have such a good heart.
448
00:22:12,132 --> 00:22:14,900
First, it's Mr. Bascom
and then it's me.
449
00:22:14,968 --> 00:22:17,803
You've got to stop
worrying so much
about us, Steve.
450
00:22:17,871 --> 00:22:19,071
But I guess that's
difficult for you
451
00:22:19,139 --> 00:22:21,173
because you're
such a kind man.
452
00:22:22,743 --> 00:22:25,610
Okay, Hollywood,
here we come.
453
00:22:47,383 --> 00:22:52,537
♪ Oh, there's nothin' as gay
as a day in the country
454
00:22:52,605 --> 00:22:55,407
♪ Under the wonderful skies
455
00:22:55,475 --> 00:22:59,077
♪ For a city-bred feller
a field full of yeller
456
00:22:59,145 --> 00:23:02,214
♪ Is quite
a delightful surprise
457
00:23:02,282 --> 00:23:07,552
♪ For a couple
of travelin' guys
458
00:23:07,621 --> 00:23:11,423
♪ Oh, you don't have to pay
for a day in the country
459
00:23:11,491 --> 00:23:14,893
♪ It's old Mother Nature
who buys
460
00:23:14,961 --> 00:23:18,430
♪ And while we keep goin'
the breezes are blowin'
461
00:23:18,498 --> 00:23:22,199
♪ The cigarette smoke
from our eyes
462
00:23:22,268 --> 00:23:28,289
♪ You'll hear
beautiful melodies
played by an old water mill
463
00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:37,799
♪ And a little red barn
is spinning a yarn
464
00:23:37,868 --> 00:23:41,269
♪ To the daffodils
up on the hill
465
00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:50,845
♪ Oh, there's nothin' as gay
as a day in the country
466
00:23:50,914 --> 00:23:54,216
♪ Far from
the maddening throng
467
00:23:54,284 --> 00:23:57,952
♪ A hobo hobnobbin'
with bluebird and robin
468
00:23:58,021 --> 00:24:01,189
♪ We warble a merry old song
469
00:24:01,258 --> 00:24:08,279
BOTH: ♪ And go rollio,
rollio, rollio, rollio
rollio, rollin' along
470
00:24:08,348 --> 00:24:10,415
♪ And go rollio, rollio,
471
00:24:10,484 --> 00:24:12,183
(ECHOING) ♪ rollio, rollio
472
00:24:12,252 --> 00:24:15,837
♪ Rollio, rollio,
rollio, rollio
473
00:24:15,905 --> 00:24:19,323
♪ Rollio, rollin' along!
474
00:24:19,392 --> 00:24:22,594
(STEVE WHISTLING)
475
00:24:29,636 --> 00:24:32,888
♪ It's quite
a delightful surprise
476
00:24:32,956 --> 00:24:36,224
♪ For a couple
of travelin' guys
477
00:24:38,228 --> 00:24:41,730
♪ For a couple
of travelin' guys
478
00:24:41,798 --> 00:24:45,617
♪ Oh, you don't have to pay
for a day in the country
479
00:24:45,686 --> 00:24:49,221
♪ It's old Mother Nature
who buys
480
00:24:49,273 --> 00:24:52,840
♪ And while we keep goin'
the breezes are blowin'
481
00:24:52,909 --> 00:24:55,843
♪ The cigarette smoke
from our eyes
482
00:25:02,035 --> 00:25:08,607
♪ How I envy the fellows
who live by a shady old nook
483
00:25:08,675 --> 00:25:12,226
♪ And the cute little guy
who's castin' a fly
484
00:25:12,296 --> 00:25:15,129
♪ At a trout
leaping out of a brook
485
00:25:15,198 --> 00:25:16,547
(WHISTLING)
486
00:25:16,616 --> 00:25:19,968
♪ Oh, there's nothin' as gay
as a day in the country
487
00:25:20,036 --> 00:25:23,471
♪ Here's where I really belong
488
00:25:23,539 --> 00:25:26,875
♪ Just grab a valise full
and go where it's peaceful
489
00:25:26,943 --> 00:25:30,495
BOTH: ♪ And try
vocalizing a song
490
00:25:30,563 --> 00:25:36,184
♪ While you're rollio, rollio
rollio, rollio, rollio, rollio
491
00:25:36,252 --> 00:25:39,553
♪ Rollio, rollio,
rollio, rollio
492
00:25:39,622 --> 00:25:42,891
♪ Rollio, rollio,
rollio, rollio
493
00:25:42,959 --> 00:25:48,363
♪ Rollin' along ♪
494
00:25:51,551 --> 00:25:55,870
(CAR SPLUTTERING)
495
00:26:04,030 --> 00:26:07,248
I thought you put gas
in the car.
496
00:26:07,317 --> 00:26:09,484
I did, but I told them
to put very little in
497
00:26:09,553 --> 00:26:12,353
so the gas
wouldn't evaporate
in the tank.
498
00:26:24,367 --> 00:26:25,633
(MR. BASCOM BARKING)
499
00:26:27,204 --> 00:26:28,836
Will you get that hound
out of that car?
500
00:26:28,905 --> 00:26:30,171
He weighs a ton.
501
00:26:31,107 --> 00:26:33,308
Yeah, he does weigh a lot.
502
00:26:33,376 --> 00:26:35,510
That's why he's tired.
503
00:26:35,579 --> 00:26:37,378
As a matter of fact,
he's dog-tired now.
504
00:26:37,447 --> 00:26:39,214
He's dog-tired?
505
00:26:48,058 --> 00:26:49,690
(SIGHING)
506
00:26:49,759 --> 00:26:51,492
(CLEARING THROAT)
507
00:26:51,561 --> 00:26:53,561
Let's see now.
508
00:26:55,165 --> 00:26:58,766
Eight and five is 13,
then you carry
your three and one.
509
00:26:58,835 --> 00:27:01,569
One and six is
seven and eight.
Eight and five...
510
00:27:01,637 --> 00:27:03,804
What's with
the scratch sheet, Malcolm?
511
00:27:03,874 --> 00:27:06,574
Oh, I'm just figuring
the first day's
expenses, Steve.
512
00:27:06,642 --> 00:27:09,677
Let's see here now.
Gas and oil.
513
00:27:09,746 --> 00:27:12,580
Lunch.
One corned beef, Steve.
One hamburger, me.
514
00:27:12,648 --> 00:27:15,283
Thirteen hamburgers,
Mr. Bascom. That's correct.
515
00:27:15,352 --> 00:27:16,717
One chewing gum, me.
516
00:27:16,786 --> 00:27:18,519
One tip to redheaded waitress.
517
00:27:18,588 --> 00:27:21,389
Hey, Steve, how come
you made me give
that waitress such a big tip?
518
00:27:21,457 --> 00:27:22,790
Just keeping
in practice, Malcolm.
519
00:27:22,859 --> 00:27:24,158
Oh.
520
00:27:24,227 --> 00:27:25,559
Breakfast then.
521
00:27:25,628 --> 00:27:27,228
One tomato juice, Steve.
522
00:27:27,297 --> 00:27:29,597
One bowl
of crunchies, Malcolm.
523
00:27:29,665 --> 00:27:32,500
Four orders of ham and eggs
for Mr. Bascom.
524
00:27:32,568 --> 00:27:34,468
Look, why don't you
lay it all out, Malcolm?
525
00:27:34,537 --> 00:27:35,636
Then when we get
to Hollywood,
526
00:27:35,705 --> 00:27:37,305
we'll sell the car
and we'll square away.
527
00:27:37,374 --> 00:27:39,573
Now, don't bother me
with small details, huh?
528
00:27:39,642 --> 00:27:42,310
Oh, well,
Steve, let me...
529
00:27:42,379 --> 00:27:44,045
Let me just say this
to you... You see...
530
00:27:44,114 --> 00:27:46,564
Please, Malcolm,
not now! I'm tired.
531
00:27:46,633 --> 00:27:49,033
Well, couldn't I
just one little
eensy-weensy detail?
532
00:27:49,101 --> 00:27:50,802
All right. What?
533
00:27:50,870 --> 00:27:53,938
Well, I don't mind
laying out the money,
except I don't have any more.
534
00:27:54,006 --> 00:27:55,039
You what?
535
00:27:55,107 --> 00:27:56,273
You're yelling
at me, Steve.
536
00:27:56,343 --> 00:27:57,408
What did you say?
537
00:27:57,477 --> 00:28:00,311
I said I don't have
any more money.
538
00:28:00,380 --> 00:28:02,146
(MR. BASCOM BARKING)
I don't know
how it happened.
539
00:28:02,215 --> 00:28:03,882
Oh, the road is...
540
00:28:03,950 --> 00:28:05,566
Our car is with the dog!
541
00:28:05,635 --> 00:28:08,069
(STAMMERING)
542
00:28:08,138 --> 00:28:10,955
Well, Mr. Bascom can't drive.
He doesn't have a license!
543
00:28:13,109 --> 00:28:15,977
Mr. Bascom! Mr. Bascom!
544
00:28:23,086 --> 00:28:24,502
Mr. Bascom!
545
00:28:32,645 --> 00:28:34,078
Sunday driver!
546
00:28:36,299 --> 00:28:37,515
Driver?
547
00:28:41,972 --> 00:28:45,506
(CARS HONKING)
548
00:28:48,661 --> 00:28:49,761
(GROWLING)
549
00:28:57,420 --> 00:28:58,469
(MOOING)
550
00:29:00,039 --> 00:29:02,073
(WHINING)
551
00:29:09,131 --> 00:29:11,015
Steve!
552
00:29:11,484 --> 00:29:12,717
Steve!
553
00:29:13,703 --> 00:29:14,835
Steve!
554
00:29:14,904 --> 00:29:16,187
(CAR HONKING)
555
00:29:18,208 --> 00:29:19,473
(WHINING)
556
00:29:33,673 --> 00:29:34,906
(WHINING)
557
00:29:37,693 --> 00:29:38,810
(CHICKENS CLUCKING)
558
00:29:41,097 --> 00:29:43,464
(WHINING)
559
00:29:52,075 --> 00:29:53,775
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)
560
00:29:56,329 --> 00:29:57,345
Malcolm!
561
00:29:59,065 --> 00:30:00,431
Malcolm!
562
00:30:01,868 --> 00:30:03,234
Coming!
563
00:30:12,279 --> 00:30:13,444
(WHINING)
564
00:30:21,137 --> 00:30:22,370
Malcolm!
565
00:30:30,063 --> 00:30:31,879
Come on, Mr. Bascom.
Come on, boy.
566
00:30:31,947 --> 00:30:34,348
Never mind that hound!
Help me push this car.
567
00:30:34,417 --> 00:30:36,049
Sit, Mr. Bascom. Sit. Stay.
568
00:30:40,507 --> 00:30:43,408
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)
569
00:30:48,364 --> 00:30:49,897
Come on. Come on.
570
00:31:36,579 --> 00:31:39,247
Bringing back
one gallon of gas!
571
00:31:39,315 --> 00:31:41,832
We may not even make it
to the next gas station.
572
00:31:41,901 --> 00:31:43,767
Well, don't worry
about it, Steve.
573
00:31:43,836 --> 00:31:45,919
I'll get
that lucky feeling again.
574
00:31:46,589 --> 00:31:48,523
(RUMBLING)
575
00:31:52,678 --> 00:31:55,363
Better get it fast.
I think there's something
wrong with the motor.
576
00:31:55,431 --> 00:31:57,949
Oh. That's not
the motor, Steve.
577
00:31:58,017 --> 00:31:59,383
That's Mr. Bascom's stomach.
578
00:31:59,452 --> 00:32:00,735
He's very hungry.
579
00:32:00,820 --> 00:32:02,052
He's hungry?
I'm starved!
580
00:32:02,121 --> 00:32:03,521
(WHINING)
581
00:32:28,881 --> 00:32:31,098
I'm so hungry,
I almost smell hamburger.
582
00:32:42,362 --> 00:32:44,212
Hamburger!
Give me some of that!
583
00:32:45,464 --> 00:32:46,597
Ow!
584
00:32:46,665 --> 00:32:48,783
Will you tell him
to let go, Malcolm?
585
00:32:48,851 --> 00:32:50,851
Let go of Steve's arm,
Mr. Bascom.
586
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:53,186
That's not nice.
Shame on you.
587
00:32:53,255 --> 00:32:55,222
Steve needs
that arm to drive with.
588
00:32:55,291 --> 00:32:57,625
That's telling him, Malcolm.
589
00:32:57,694 --> 00:33:01,411
(JALOPY HONKING)
590
00:33:04,967 --> 00:33:08,503
(JALOPY HONKING)
591
00:33:11,608 --> 00:33:14,375
Look at what that guy did
to our shiny new car!
592
00:33:14,444 --> 00:33:17,445
Yeah, wait till you see
what we do to his crate!
593
00:33:25,838 --> 00:33:28,589
(CAR HONKING)
594
00:33:42,204 --> 00:33:43,304
(EXCLAIMING)
595
00:33:47,477 --> 00:33:49,376
Oh, look
at the poor old lady!
596
00:33:49,446 --> 00:33:52,897
I'd rather look
at a rich, young lady.
597
00:33:52,965 --> 00:33:54,332
Let's stop
and pick her up, Steve.
598
00:33:54,401 --> 00:33:56,801
She might be
somebody's mother.
599
00:33:56,869 --> 00:33:58,569
Would you like a lift, lady?
600
00:33:58,637 --> 00:34:00,304
I'd be ever so grateful.
601
00:34:00,372 --> 00:34:01,739
All righty.
602
00:34:02,608 --> 00:34:04,274
Watch it now.
603
00:34:05,444 --> 00:34:08,779
You're a dear,
sweet, young man.
604
00:34:08,848 --> 00:34:10,915
Oh, my! Does he bite?
605
00:34:10,983 --> 00:34:13,000
Only me, lady.
606
00:34:13,068 --> 00:34:15,469
Hey, Malcolm,
the motor's running.
607
00:34:15,538 --> 00:34:16,770
Oh.
Come on.
608
00:34:16,839 --> 00:34:17,939
Sorry.
609
00:34:22,395 --> 00:34:25,379
You remind me
of my grandmother.
She was awful nice, too.
610
00:34:25,447 --> 00:34:27,514
She used to take me
to movies all the time.
611
00:34:27,583 --> 00:34:28,615
Do you like the movies?
612
00:34:28,685 --> 00:34:30,768
Yes, indeed.
613
00:34:30,836 --> 00:34:33,087
What kind of movies
you like best?
614
00:34:33,155 --> 00:34:35,790
Oh, Gangster movies.
Me, too.
615
00:34:35,859 --> 00:34:37,909
I pack a rod,
too, sister.
616
00:34:37,977 --> 00:34:39,493
Clam up, sonny!
617
00:34:41,096 --> 00:34:43,096
Malcolm, will you stop
bothering me while I'm...
618
00:34:43,165 --> 00:34:45,083
Stop the car,
handsome.
619
00:34:48,538 --> 00:34:49,770
Shame on you.
620
00:34:49,838 --> 00:34:52,790
You're a naughty old lady.
Shame, shame!
621
00:34:52,858 --> 00:34:53,958
Shut up!
622
00:34:54,026 --> 00:34:55,393
Listen, lady,
one word from us
623
00:34:55,462 --> 00:34:56,860
and that dog
will tear you apart.
624
00:34:56,929 --> 00:34:59,697
He's a killer.
Get her, Mr. Bascom.
Get her. Get her!
625
00:34:59,766 --> 00:35:01,632
(WHINING)
626
00:35:01,701 --> 00:35:05,386
(BARKING)
627
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,839
Well, bless his gentle heart.
628
00:35:08,908 --> 00:35:10,141
Get out!
629
00:35:27,260 --> 00:35:29,160
Somebody's mother, huh?
630
00:35:29,662 --> 00:35:30,727
(GRUNTING)
631
00:36:07,383 --> 00:36:09,834
(CAR HONKING)
632
00:36:11,837 --> 00:36:14,021
Hey, Steve,
that fellow's a girl!
633
00:36:14,090 --> 00:36:15,655
Well, come on!
634
00:36:15,741 --> 00:36:17,457
(MR. BASCOM BARKING)
635
00:36:17,544 --> 00:36:19,810
Wait! Wait for us!
636
00:36:32,292 --> 00:36:34,592
What do you think
you're doing?
637
00:36:36,662 --> 00:36:38,545
Well, look what you've done
to my running board!
638
00:36:38,614 --> 00:36:41,281
Never mind
your running board.
We need a lift.
639
00:36:41,350 --> 00:36:44,068
Hey, you're wrecking my car!
640
00:36:44,136 --> 00:36:46,537
We got robbed.
Our car was stolen.
641
00:36:46,605 --> 00:36:48,005
It's all right.
We only had
a gallon of gas.
642
00:36:48,073 --> 00:36:50,674
She'll run out.
Move over, let me drive.
643
00:36:58,417 --> 00:36:59,950
Can't this thing
go any faster?
644
00:37:00,019 --> 00:37:01,769
Step on the gas, Steve!
645
00:37:03,105 --> 00:37:04,755
Look out!
646
00:37:15,067 --> 00:37:16,667
My fenders fell off!
647
00:37:16,736 --> 00:37:18,002
Well, we'll get them later.
648
00:37:18,070 --> 00:37:19,303
Do you see the car?
649
00:37:19,355 --> 00:37:21,638
Who's going
to fix my floorboard?
650
00:37:21,707 --> 00:37:23,791
We will.
Soon as we catch
that old lady.
651
00:37:23,859 --> 00:37:25,009
What old lady?
652
00:37:25,077 --> 00:37:26,527
The old lady
that stole our car.
653
00:37:26,595 --> 00:37:28,395
And they're the worst kind.
654
00:37:28,464 --> 00:37:31,231
Like the old lady
in Chloroform and Old Calico.
That was produced by...
655
00:37:31,300 --> 00:37:34,201
Malcolm, quiet!
Do you see our car?
656
00:37:34,270 --> 00:37:36,053
Not yet.
Go faster!
657
00:37:39,308 --> 00:37:41,442
Malcolm, will you
answer me?
658
00:37:43,679 --> 00:37:45,212
Where are you?
659
00:37:46,715 --> 00:37:48,265
Here I am.
660
00:37:48,334 --> 00:37:50,267
What are you doing
out there?
661
00:37:50,336 --> 00:37:52,202
I think
I see our car!
662
00:38:06,886 --> 00:38:08,853
Gee, we're lucky.
Not a scratch.
663
00:38:08,921 --> 00:38:10,921
It's a good thing
that old lady
ran out of gas.
664
00:38:10,990 --> 00:38:13,090
Old lady!
We're out of gas!
665
00:38:14,093 --> 00:38:15,559
(JALOPY'S MOTOR GRINDING)
666
00:38:15,628 --> 00:38:17,127
She's got gas!
667
00:38:20,649 --> 00:38:22,183
Wait a minute, lady.
We're out of gas.
668
00:38:22,251 --> 00:38:24,418
Well, you're lucky.
I'm almost out of car!
669
00:38:24,487 --> 00:38:27,588
Here I am,
minding my own business,
driving to Las Vegas,
670
00:38:27,656 --> 00:38:29,356
and suddenly I'm ambushed!
671
00:38:29,425 --> 00:38:31,575
What, are you going
to Vegas in this thing?
672
00:38:31,644 --> 00:38:34,261
My great-grandmother made it
in a covered wagon.
673
00:38:34,330 --> 00:38:37,814
But all she ran into
were wild Indians.
674
00:38:37,883 --> 00:38:41,519
Well, are you satisfied?
You've ruined my motor now!
675
00:38:41,587 --> 00:38:43,420
Oh, don't cry, lady.
I can fix it.
676
00:38:43,489 --> 00:38:45,256
I know all about cars.
677
00:38:45,324 --> 00:38:47,324
I'll go get your fenders.
678
00:38:48,427 --> 00:38:50,027
Don't cry, honey.
679
00:38:50,095 --> 00:38:51,629
He knows all
about fenders and cars.
680
00:38:51,697 --> 00:38:54,665
He'll get them
for you. He will.
681
00:39:06,662 --> 00:39:09,063
Okay, it's fixed!
682
00:39:09,131 --> 00:39:10,530
Yeah, well,
what about those?
683
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:13,767
Oh, those are
just spare parts.
Go ahead, try it.
684
00:39:15,370 --> 00:39:16,971
(CAR STARTING)
685
00:39:18,975 --> 00:39:22,876
As they say in
the French movies, voila!
686
00:39:22,945 --> 00:39:26,246
Oh, I'm sorry, Malcolm,
for being so angry.
687
00:39:26,315 --> 00:39:27,681
Thank you very much.
688
00:39:27,750 --> 00:39:30,517
It was our fault,
and thank you
for the gas.
689
00:39:30,586 --> 00:39:31,585
Bye-bye.
690
00:39:31,654 --> 00:39:32,820
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
691
00:39:37,426 --> 00:39:39,760
(CRASHING)
692
00:39:50,540 --> 00:39:55,142
As they say in
the French movies, voila!
693
00:39:55,211 --> 00:39:56,410
Wait.
694
00:39:56,479 --> 00:39:57,611
Voila!
695
00:40:14,697 --> 00:40:16,914
She's a nice girl,
isn't she, Steve?
696
00:40:16,982 --> 00:40:19,950
And she's got
nice red hair, too.
697
00:40:20,018 --> 00:40:23,286
What's nice about her
is the 40 bucks she got
selling her wreck.
698
00:40:23,355 --> 00:40:24,888
Now we can eat.
699
00:40:47,145 --> 00:40:51,414
♪ Let's be friendly
700
00:40:51,484 --> 00:40:55,269
♪ Just the two of us
701
00:40:55,338 --> 00:41:00,957
♪ Can't afford
to disappoint the moonlight
702
00:41:02,277 --> 00:41:06,580
♪ My, what lovely scenery
703
00:41:06,649 --> 00:41:10,183
♪ Cupid's own machinery
704
00:41:10,252 --> 00:41:15,739
♪ Made to trap
a nervous chap like me
705
00:41:17,443 --> 00:41:21,628
♪ Let's be friendly
706
00:41:21,696 --> 00:41:25,432
♪ But let's be discreet
707
00:41:25,500 --> 00:41:30,938
♪ Must I fight the feelin'
that I'm fallin'?
708
00:41:33,175 --> 00:41:37,010
♪ Should we
accidentally kiss
709
00:41:37,079 --> 00:41:40,430
♪ I'd give up the fight
710
00:41:40,499 --> 00:41:46,670
♪ And we could be more than
just good friends tonight
711
00:41:48,174 --> 00:41:51,592
♪ "Be wise, be smart"
712
00:41:51,661 --> 00:41:54,528
♪ I always tell my heart
713
00:41:54,597 --> 00:41:58,565
♪ When it gets to the point
where you're dreamin' of her
714
00:41:58,634 --> 00:42:02,035
♪ That's the time
to run for cover
715
00:42:02,104 --> 00:42:06,774
♪ Not that I'm allergic
to romance
716
00:42:10,512 --> 00:42:15,265
♪ But a guy likes
to have a fightin' chance
717
00:42:18,738 --> 00:42:24,141
♪ Let's be friendly
718
00:42:24,210 --> 00:42:29,279
♪ Just the two of us
719
00:42:29,348 --> 00:42:36,353
♪ Can't afford
to disappoint the moonlight
720
00:42:37,656 --> 00:42:43,093
♪ My, what lovely scenery
721
00:42:43,162 --> 00:42:47,397
♪ Cupid's own machinery
722
00:42:47,466 --> 00:42:54,271
♪ Made to trap
a nervous chap like me
723
00:42:56,108 --> 00:43:01,411
♪ Let's be friendly
724
00:43:01,480 --> 00:43:05,749
♪ But let's be discreet
725
00:43:05,818 --> 00:43:12,272
♪ Must I fight the feelin'
that I'm fallin'?
726
00:43:15,010 --> 00:43:19,613
♪ Should we accidentally kiss
727
00:43:19,682 --> 00:43:23,600
♪ I'd give up the fight
728
00:43:23,669 --> 00:43:29,940
♪ And we could be more
than Just good friends
729
00:43:30,008 --> 00:43:36,313
♪ Tonight ♪
730
00:43:36,381 --> 00:43:37,781
Nice music.
731
00:43:39,101 --> 00:43:40,534
Wrong lyrics.
732
00:43:41,937 --> 00:43:43,570
You have someone
waiting in Vegas?
733
00:43:43,639 --> 00:43:45,839
I have a job
waiting in Vegas.
734
00:43:45,907 --> 00:43:49,843
You know, as soon as
I saw you, I figured you
for a gambler.
735
00:43:49,911 --> 00:43:51,845
Relax, honey.
736
00:43:51,913 --> 00:43:53,714
We won't play for keeps.
737
00:43:53,782 --> 00:43:56,416
Look, it's getting
kind of late,
don't you think?
738
00:43:56,485 --> 00:44:00,487
So that's it, huh?
Just chauffeur
and mystery passenger?
739
00:44:00,556 --> 00:44:03,056
Mr. Wiley,
if it'll ease
your mind any,
740
00:44:03,125 --> 00:44:05,024
I'll give you
my vital statistics.
741
00:44:05,093 --> 00:44:08,828
Now, you're talking.
I like statistics
when they're vital.
742
00:44:08,897 --> 00:44:10,263
Well, there's no mystery.
743
00:44:10,332 --> 00:44:12,900
My vital statistics
are as follows.
744
00:44:12,968 --> 00:44:15,903
Name, Terry Roberts.
Birthplace, Weehawken,
New Jersey.
745
00:44:15,971 --> 00:44:20,206
Age, my business.
Occupation, chorus girl.
746
00:44:20,275 --> 00:44:22,609
At present going to Vegas
to work at the Silver Spur,
747
00:44:22,678 --> 00:44:24,210
and after that,
on to Hollywood
for an audition.
748
00:44:24,279 --> 00:44:26,713
And after that,
future undecided.
749
00:44:26,782 --> 00:44:30,517
You know, soon as
I saw you, I figured you
for a chorus girl.
750
00:44:30,586 --> 00:44:32,419
You're too close
to the fire, Mr. Wiley.
751
00:44:32,488 --> 00:44:34,455
You're getting overheated.
752
00:44:35,223 --> 00:44:36,457
Future undecided?
753
00:44:36,525 --> 00:44:39,192
Now, you can't go around
with an undecided future.
754
00:44:39,261 --> 00:44:40,961
People will talk.
755
00:44:41,029 --> 00:44:42,796
But Mr. Wiley,
we were brought together
756
00:44:42,865 --> 00:44:46,800
because I had $40
and you needed same.
757
00:44:46,869 --> 00:44:50,303
Well, you got my $40
but that's all you get.
758
00:44:51,540 --> 00:44:53,406
I don't want to get.
759
00:44:53,476 --> 00:44:55,308
I want to give.
760
00:44:55,377 --> 00:44:57,010
Sorry, no takers.
761
00:44:58,246 --> 00:45:00,380
And speaking
of statistics...
762
00:45:01,784 --> 00:45:03,917
All right.
What would
you like to know?
763
00:45:03,986 --> 00:45:06,286
Where I was born?
How I vote?
764
00:45:06,355 --> 00:45:10,841
Or how an attractive man
manages to stay single?
765
00:45:10,909 --> 00:45:13,376
You get better odds
at a race track.
766
00:45:13,445 --> 00:45:15,045
Better than 50-50?
767
00:45:15,113 --> 00:45:17,581
That's only 50-50
on the tote board.
768
00:45:17,650 --> 00:45:20,483
You know, the minute
you leave the starting gate,
the odds are 6 to 4
769
00:45:20,553 --> 00:45:23,086
'cause you're furnishing
a rundown apartment.
770
00:45:23,155 --> 00:45:26,356
Then the odds drop 7 to 3
'cause you need
a larger place,
771
00:45:26,425 --> 00:45:27,925
an extra room
for the little monster
772
00:45:27,993 --> 00:45:30,427
that your ever-loving
comes up with.
773
00:45:30,495 --> 00:45:33,430
Now the little monster grows,
becomes a big monster.
774
00:45:33,498 --> 00:45:35,098
School expenses.
775
00:45:35,167 --> 00:45:36,600
Now you've got
to start taking everything
776
00:45:36,669 --> 00:45:38,035
that the crummy boss
hands out
777
00:45:38,103 --> 00:45:40,637
'cause you can't afford
to lose your crummy job.
778
00:45:40,706 --> 00:45:43,173
Little Junior's
got to go to college.
779
00:45:43,241 --> 00:45:45,876
"Dear Pop.
Need money. Met a girl."
780
00:45:45,945 --> 00:45:49,345
The odds are now 9 to 1
and you haven't even hit
the far turn yet.
781
00:45:49,414 --> 00:45:51,782
By the time you get
to the finish line,
you got to hurry up and die
782
00:45:51,850 --> 00:45:55,385
so you'll have enough money
left to pay for
your own funeral expenses.
783
00:45:55,454 --> 00:45:57,371
That's a bad deal.
784
00:45:57,439 --> 00:45:59,890
And that's playing
for keeps, is it?
785
00:45:59,958 --> 00:46:02,960
It's a parlay
you can't win, Red.
786
00:46:03,028 --> 00:46:04,861
Good night, Mr. Wiley.
787
00:46:15,658 --> 00:46:20,560
(BLABBERING)
788
00:46:23,649 --> 00:46:29,036
(BLABBERING)
789
00:46:30,105 --> 00:46:33,857
(BLABBERING)
790
00:47:01,720 --> 00:47:02,702
Oh!
791
00:47:09,061 --> 00:47:12,628
Get out of here,
you big mutt!
Scram! Get out!
792
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:43,510
MALCOLM: So I know
nothing can go wrong
793
00:47:43,578 --> 00:47:45,311
because I always get
the lucky feeling.
794
00:47:45,380 --> 00:47:46,963
What lucky feeling?
795
00:47:47,032 --> 00:47:49,632
Well, it's very hard
to describe, but you see,
796
00:47:49,701 --> 00:47:51,968
I get an itching
in my fingers
797
00:47:52,037 --> 00:47:54,220
and then a twitching
in my left eye.
798
00:47:54,289 --> 00:47:55,888
And then my head
starts jerking, see,
799
00:47:55,957 --> 00:47:57,490
like as if I have
a stiff collar on.
800
00:47:57,559 --> 00:47:59,526
I have the itching,
the twitching
and the jerking.
801
00:47:59,595 --> 00:48:01,912
Oh, yeah,
like the first time
I saw this car.
802
00:48:01,981 --> 00:48:03,897
And then when
everything is happening
at one time,
803
00:48:03,965 --> 00:48:05,565
the itching, the twitching
and the jerking,
804
00:48:05,634 --> 00:48:08,801
I know I can't lose
'cause I got
the lucky feeling.
805
00:48:08,870 --> 00:48:11,588
Oh, now, that doesn't
really happen, Malcolm.
806
00:48:11,657 --> 00:48:13,906
Well, I won this car,
didn't I?
807
00:48:13,976 --> 00:48:16,742
Yes. Yes,
you won this car.
808
00:48:16,811 --> 00:48:18,211
Half of it.
809
00:48:20,248 --> 00:48:21,915
Oh, well,
then I'm even luckier
than I thought
810
00:48:21,984 --> 00:48:23,750
'cause I got
Steve as a partner.
811
00:48:23,818 --> 00:48:27,737
Not only is he my partner but
he's the next-door neighbor
to Anita Ekberg.
812
00:48:27,806 --> 00:48:29,739
Oh, is he really?
813
00:48:29,808 --> 00:48:32,075
Oh, yeah, they're
neighbors, really.
814
00:48:32,144 --> 00:48:34,227
Which means
she's gonna be
my neighbor.
815
00:48:34,295 --> 00:48:36,980
Just think,
I'll see her every day.
816
00:48:37,049 --> 00:48:43,002
Just imagine, I'll see her
when she's hanging out
her undies
817
00:48:43,071 --> 00:48:46,773
and she'll see me
when I'm hanging out
my undies.
818
00:48:48,977 --> 00:48:50,760
It's just like a dream.
819
00:48:50,829 --> 00:48:52,545
It certainly is.
820
00:48:55,083 --> 00:48:56,115
Where are we?
821
00:48:56,185 --> 00:48:57,617
Oh, Chicago.
822
00:48:57,686 --> 00:49:00,570
Chicago!
How did we get
to Chicago?
823
00:49:01,673 --> 00:49:03,006
Did I do bad?
824
00:49:03,075 --> 00:49:04,558
You took a wrong turn!
825
00:49:04,626 --> 00:49:06,560
I got too many friends
in Chicago
I don't want to see.
826
00:49:06,628 --> 00:49:08,495
Now put that top up
and let's get out of here!
827
00:49:08,564 --> 00:49:10,080
All right.
828
00:49:11,449 --> 00:49:12,515
Put it up!
829
00:49:12,584 --> 00:49:14,834
There! It's coming up
but it takes time.
830
00:49:35,674 --> 00:49:37,824
♪ When you cross
the Mississippi
831
00:49:37,893 --> 00:49:39,325
♪ Cross the Mississippi
832
00:49:39,394 --> 00:49:41,194
♪ You're in the wild
and wooly West
833
00:49:41,263 --> 00:49:42,295
Hee-haw!
834
00:49:42,364 --> 00:49:44,330
♪ Anyone who wants
to live ideally
835
00:49:44,399 --> 00:49:46,032
♪ Take a tip
from Horace Greeley
836
00:49:46,101 --> 00:49:47,366
♪ He said,
"Go West, young man"
837
00:49:47,435 --> 00:49:49,035
♪ He said
♪ Thank you
838
00:49:49,104 --> 00:49:52,722
♪ Greeley really
hit the nail
right on the head
839
00:50:05,286 --> 00:50:07,437
♪ Here we are
in old Missouri
840
00:50:07,506 --> 00:50:09,155
♪ The folks
from Independence
841
00:50:09,223 --> 00:50:10,807
♪ Includin' their descendants
842
00:50:10,876 --> 00:50:12,325
♪ Are friendly as a rule
843
00:50:12,394 --> 00:50:13,510
♪ Do tell!
844
00:50:13,578 --> 00:50:15,628
♪ But stubborn as
an old Missouri mule!
845
00:50:15,697 --> 00:50:17,097
♪ Hee-haw!
846
00:50:21,503 --> 00:50:23,603
ALL: ♪ When you cross
the wide Missouri
847
00:50:23,672 --> 00:50:25,155
♪ Cross the wide Missouri
848
00:50:25,223 --> 00:50:27,223
♪ You're in the wild
and wooly West
849
00:50:27,292 --> 00:50:28,491
(SHIP HORN BLOWING)
850
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:30,176
♪ Take a look at
that old-fashioned showboat
851
00:50:30,245 --> 00:50:31,827
♪ I get seasick
near a rowboat
852
00:50:31,896 --> 00:50:33,796
♪ I like convertibles
the best
853
00:50:33,866 --> 00:50:35,365
(CAR HONKING)
854
00:50:35,434 --> 00:50:40,069
ALL:
♪ When we're ridin' through
the wild and wooly West!
855
00:50:41,973 --> 00:50:44,241
♪ Here we are
in Oklahoma
856
00:50:44,309 --> 00:50:45,808
♪ Produces much alfalfa
857
00:50:45,877 --> 00:50:48,961
♪ And celebrated also
for buttermilk and cream
858
00:50:49,030 --> 00:50:50,447
♪ Really!
859
00:50:50,515 --> 00:50:53,099
♪ And incidentally
quite a football team
Rah-rah!
860
00:50:53,168 --> 00:50:55,384
ALL: ♪ When you're out
in Oklahoma ♪
861
00:50:55,453 --> 00:50:56,903
♪ Out in Oklahoma
862
00:50:56,972 --> 00:50:58,872
♪ You're in the wild
and wooly West
863
00:50:58,940 --> 00:51:00,140
Hee-haw!
864
00:51:00,208 --> 00:51:01,691
♪ Though there's always been
the sweet aroma
865
00:51:01,760 --> 00:51:03,593
♪ Of the corn in Oklahoma
866
00:51:03,662 --> 00:51:05,628
BOTH: ♪ Rodgers
and Hammerstein agree
867
00:51:05,697 --> 00:51:06,947
♪ That's nice
868
00:51:07,015 --> 00:51:09,599
STEVE:
♪ Oklahoma's got
a lot of do-re-mi
869
00:51:18,026 --> 00:51:19,993
♪ Now we're in
the State of Texas
870
00:51:20,062 --> 00:51:21,695
♪ The largest
in the Union
871
00:51:21,763 --> 00:51:23,163
♪ Per capita
the richest
872
00:51:23,231 --> 00:51:24,430
♪ But more than
this you'll find
873
00:51:24,499 --> 00:51:25,765
BOTH: ♪ What will you find?
874
00:51:25,834 --> 00:51:26,916
♪ The State of Texas
875
00:51:26,985 --> 00:51:28,067
ALL: ♪ Is a state of mind
876
00:51:28,136 --> 00:51:29,169
(BARKING TO SONG)
877
00:51:29,237 --> 00:51:31,321
♪ When you're
in the State of Texas
878
00:51:31,390 --> 00:51:32,789
♪ In the State of Texas
879
00:51:32,857 --> 00:51:35,459
♪ You're in the wild
and wooly West
880
00:51:35,527 --> 00:51:37,677
♪ It's not necessary
that you toil well
881
00:51:37,746 --> 00:51:39,312
♪ Anyone can own an oil well
882
00:51:39,380 --> 00:51:42,315
ALL: ♪ Nothing in Texas
but the best
883
00:51:42,384 --> 00:51:45,201
♪ Should you want
a little gusher
be my guest
884
00:51:59,451 --> 00:52:01,467
ALL:
♪ Santa Fe is quite a city
885
00:52:01,537 --> 00:52:03,269
♪ New Mexico is pretty
886
00:52:03,338 --> 00:52:04,971
♪ The population perky
887
00:52:05,039 --> 00:52:06,689
♪ And all because they found
888
00:52:06,758 --> 00:52:07,790
BOTH: ♪ What?
889
00:52:07,859 --> 00:52:10,026
♪ They've got
atomic power underground
890
00:52:10,094 --> 00:52:11,778
BOTH: ♪ No!
891
00:52:14,116 --> 00:52:16,299
♪ If you've got
the mining fever
892
00:52:16,368 --> 00:52:17,717
♪ Got the mining fever
893
00:52:17,786 --> 00:52:19,552
♪ You'll find
New Mexico the plum
894
00:52:19,621 --> 00:52:21,337
♪ The plum
895
00:52:21,406 --> 00:52:24,440
♪ First you scrimp and save
a large amount to buy yourself
a Geiger counter ♪
896
00:52:24,509 --> 00:52:26,209
♪ Hoping you'll find uranium
897
00:52:26,278 --> 00:52:27,593
BOTH: ♪ Uranium!
898
00:52:27,662 --> 00:52:30,563
♪ If it don't start tickin'
hit the highway, chum
899
00:52:31,299 --> 00:52:34,400
(GEIGER COUNTER TICKING)
900
00:52:51,953 --> 00:52:55,054
TERRY: (ECHOING)
♪ Here we are in Arizona
901
00:52:56,224 --> 00:53:00,243
♪ The Mecca of the tourist
902
00:53:00,295 --> 00:53:05,081
♪ They come
to see the Canyon
903
00:53:05,150 --> 00:53:09,335
♪ That Nature has unfurled
904
00:53:11,072 --> 00:53:15,325
♪ The largest excavation
in the world!
905
00:53:16,745 --> 00:53:18,478
ECHO: ♪ World!
906
00:53:18,546 --> 00:53:22,165
♪ World! ♪
907
00:53:23,001 --> 00:53:24,400
That's pretty.
908
00:53:24,469 --> 00:53:25,819
ECHO: Thank you.
909
00:53:26,638 --> 00:53:27,737
Oh!
910
00:53:42,554 --> 00:53:44,704
ALL: ♪ When you're
down in Arizona
911
00:53:44,773 --> 00:53:46,238
♪ Down in Arizona
912
00:53:46,308 --> 00:53:49,092
♪ You're in the wild
and wooly West
913
00:53:49,160 --> 00:53:51,560
♪ Get a load
of Big Chief Running Water
914
00:53:52,964 --> 00:53:55,315
♪ Dig his crazy
teenage daughter
915
00:53:58,152 --> 00:54:02,538
♪ Man!
She's the rockin'
and rollin' best
916
00:54:04,776 --> 00:54:09,812
♪ Nothin' wilder
in the wild and wooly West
917
00:54:42,063 --> 00:54:47,767
ALL: ♪ The wild and wooly West
918
00:54:49,170 --> 00:54:56,709
♪ The wild and wooly West ♪
919
00:55:05,937 --> 00:55:08,971
(HUMMING LET'S BE FRIENDLY)
920
00:55:28,727 --> 00:55:30,409
Isn't that doing it
the hard way?
921
00:55:30,478 --> 00:55:32,828
Well, no, I once
saw Gregory Peck
do this in a movie.
922
00:55:32,897 --> 00:55:34,197
Did you see Gregory Peck
in that movie?
923
00:55:34,266 --> 00:55:35,532
It was produced
and directed by...
924
00:55:35,600 --> 00:55:38,601
Malcolm, in the movies
they have the sticks
already fixed
925
00:55:38,670 --> 00:55:40,936
so they start
burning right away.
926
00:55:41,005 --> 00:55:43,540
Oh, yeah, I know
what you mean.
I saw Gregory Peck do that.
927
00:55:43,608 --> 00:55:48,695
He took the stick
in this hand and then
he opened this up, and voila.
928
00:55:48,763 --> 00:55:51,097
Voila. Good old Greg.
929
00:55:51,166 --> 00:55:53,082
Is Gregory Peck
one of your
Hollywood friends?
930
00:55:53,151 --> 00:55:56,001
Now where do you think
he got his gray flannel suit?
931
00:55:56,070 --> 00:55:57,169
(CHUCKLES)
932
00:55:59,106 --> 00:56:00,506
Where's Red?
933
00:56:01,342 --> 00:56:02,708
Oh, she's taking a swim.
934
00:56:02,777 --> 00:56:04,109
Taking a swim?
935
00:56:04,178 --> 00:56:05,210
Uh-huh.
936
00:56:05,279 --> 00:56:06,412
Hmm.
937
00:56:07,114 --> 00:56:08,681
Oh!
938
00:56:08,750 --> 00:56:10,149
What's the matter?
I got a stomachache.
939
00:56:10,217 --> 00:56:11,283
Aw.
940
00:56:11,352 --> 00:56:13,953
Yeah, I've been drinking
too much coffee.
941
00:56:14,021 --> 00:56:17,123
I'm not getting
my nice, warm milk
like I should.
942
00:56:17,192 --> 00:56:18,574
Oh, that's a shame.
943
00:56:18,643 --> 00:56:20,376
Do you want me to go get you
some nice, warm milk?
944
00:56:20,445 --> 00:56:23,345
Where can you get
nice, warm milk
around here?
945
00:56:23,415 --> 00:56:26,783
Unless there's a cow
near that barn
way over there.
946
00:56:28,003 --> 00:56:29,635
Oh, yeah.
947
00:56:29,721 --> 00:56:32,788
Oh, well, I'll go get you
some nice, warm milk.
948
00:56:32,857 --> 00:56:34,857
And don't you worry
about it being nice and warm
949
00:56:34,926 --> 00:56:37,093
because that cow's been out
in the sun all day.
950
00:56:37,161 --> 00:56:39,645
Sun? Thanks, buddy.
951
00:56:43,251 --> 00:56:46,836
(HUMMING HOLLYWOOD OR BUST)
952
00:56:52,844 --> 00:56:54,877
Don't get overheated, Red.
953
00:56:56,114 --> 00:56:58,014
Good morning,
Mr. Wiley.
Good morning.
954
00:56:58,083 --> 00:56:59,616
Did you sleep well?
955
00:56:59,684 --> 00:57:02,485
How could I?
I was still worried
about your undecided future.
956
00:57:02,553 --> 00:57:04,153
Malcolm, would you get me
some coffee?
957
00:57:04,222 --> 00:57:07,123
Relax, honey,
he went for a walk.
958
00:57:07,191 --> 00:57:09,892
Oh, he went
for a walk, did he?
959
00:57:09,961 --> 00:57:11,293
In this heat?
960
00:57:11,362 --> 00:57:13,262
How can the heat
affect Malcolm?
961
00:57:13,331 --> 00:57:16,298
He's off his rocker
to start with.
962
00:57:16,367 --> 00:57:18,601
He's off his
rocker about you.
963
00:57:20,505 --> 00:57:22,004
Why can't you be
like Malcolm?
964
00:57:22,073 --> 00:57:25,041
Because I've met
"Steve Wileys"
before, Mr. Wiley.
965
00:57:25,109 --> 00:57:26,309
Great guys,
all of them.
966
00:57:26,377 --> 00:57:27,544
Cut it out.
967
00:57:36,805 --> 00:57:38,370
As Malcolm would say,
this is just like
968
00:57:38,439 --> 00:57:40,106
Burt Lancaster
and Deborah Kerr in
969
00:57:40,175 --> 00:57:41,774
From Here to Eternity
produced by...
970
00:57:41,843 --> 00:57:46,179
Well, whoever produced you
certainly wasn't
after an Oscar!
971
00:57:46,247 --> 00:57:47,780
Don't I measure up
to the other Wileys?
972
00:57:47,849 --> 00:57:49,215
You certainly do!
973
00:57:49,283 --> 00:57:50,583
You're all out
of the same mold.
974
00:57:50,651 --> 00:57:52,819
Always looking for
something for nothing.
975
00:57:52,887 --> 00:57:55,387
I don't like you
for what you're
doing to Malcolm.
976
00:57:55,456 --> 00:57:56,488
You're going
to break his heart
977
00:57:56,557 --> 00:57:58,691
with all your big talk
about Hollywood
978
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:01,560
and your
movie star neighbors.
979
00:58:01,629 --> 00:58:04,097
Well, personally
I think all you know
about Hollywood
980
00:58:04,165 --> 00:58:06,733
is what you've read
in The Racing Form!
981
00:58:08,653 --> 00:58:12,087
(HUMMING)
982
00:58:22,616 --> 00:58:26,552
Here, cow!
Cow! Moo, cow.
983
00:58:26,620 --> 00:58:29,055
Come on,
where you hiding at, cow?
984
00:58:30,791 --> 00:58:31,941
Cow?
985
00:58:33,178 --> 00:58:34,760
Whoa! Oh, wait.
986
00:58:34,829 --> 00:58:36,796
(STAMMERING) Wait.
987
00:58:36,864 --> 00:58:38,597
You're not a cow. I'm sorry.
988
00:58:42,354 --> 00:58:46,021
Excuse me, sir,
I just came here
to see your wife.
989
00:58:46,090 --> 00:58:47,890
How is the little woman?
990
00:58:49,494 --> 00:58:51,210
Whoa! Wait!
991
00:58:52,079 --> 00:58:53,546
Wait!
992
00:58:53,615 --> 00:58:55,264
(EXCLAIMING)
993
00:59:04,792 --> 00:59:06,459
(EXCLAIMING)
994
00:59:06,527 --> 00:59:10,113
Steve! Steve!
Help! Help! It's a bull!
995
00:59:10,181 --> 00:59:11,680
It's a bull!
996
00:59:11,749 --> 00:59:13,416
(EXCLAIMING)
997
00:59:13,468 --> 00:59:17,203
Help! Steve! A real bull!
998
00:59:17,272 --> 00:59:18,854
Steve, Malcolm's
in trouble.
999
00:59:18,923 --> 00:59:19,989
Why should he be
any different?
1000
00:59:20,058 --> 00:59:21,090
Well, he is.
1001
00:59:21,158 --> 00:59:23,092
He's all right.
He's getting me
some milk.
1002
00:59:23,160 --> 00:59:24,694
Milk?
From a bull?
1003
00:59:24,762 --> 00:59:26,261
A bull?
1004
00:59:26,330 --> 00:59:28,263
He's milking a bull?
1005
00:59:28,332 --> 00:59:29,465
That's impossible!
1006
00:59:29,533 --> 00:59:30,582
That's what I thought.
1007
00:59:30,651 --> 00:59:32,185
MALCOLM:
Oh, please!
1008
00:59:34,622 --> 00:59:36,472
Timber!
1009
00:59:36,540 --> 00:59:38,791
Timber!
1010
00:59:38,859 --> 00:59:41,227
Timber?
He's cutting trees.
1011
00:59:41,296 --> 00:59:43,212
That's Malcolm,
always clowning.
1012
00:59:43,281 --> 00:59:45,431
Timber!
1013
00:59:48,987 --> 00:59:50,536
(EXCLAIMING)
1014
00:59:55,143 --> 00:59:56,225
Whoa, bull!
1015
01:00:09,574 --> 01:00:11,991
Malcolm, take off
that red jacket!
1016
01:00:13,844 --> 01:00:15,127
Now wave it
in front of the bull!
1017
01:00:15,196 --> 01:00:16,962
Wave it in front of him!
1018
01:00:17,031 --> 01:00:18,448
Wave it at the bull!
1019
01:00:18,516 --> 01:00:21,967
Oh. You mean like
Rudolph Valentino
in Blood and Sand?
1020
01:00:22,904 --> 01:00:24,219
El toro!
1021
01:00:25,807 --> 01:00:27,289
Matador!
1022
01:00:27,358 --> 01:00:28,925
Toreador!
1023
01:00:28,994 --> 01:00:30,459
Picador!
1024
01:00:30,528 --> 01:00:32,945
Kitchen door!
Shut the door!
1025
01:00:33,865 --> 01:00:35,230
(BELLOWING)
1026
01:00:36,384 --> 01:00:38,834
Attaboy!
Now he's afraid of you!
1027
01:00:38,903 --> 01:00:41,904
(CROWD CHEERING)
1028
01:01:12,086 --> 01:01:16,222
(SINGING IN MOCK SPANISH)
1029
01:01:31,222 --> 01:01:32,354
(SNARLING)
1030
01:01:40,481 --> 01:01:41,731
Pretty good, huh, Steve?
1031
01:01:41,799 --> 01:01:42,965
I'm just like
Rudolph Valentino.
1032
01:01:43,033 --> 01:01:45,267
Didn't he fight the bull
with a red cloth, too?
1033
01:01:45,336 --> 01:01:47,320
No, Malcolm,
he had a sword!
1034
01:01:47,388 --> 01:01:49,905
He had a sword
to fight him with!
1035
01:01:49,974 --> 01:01:51,741
Sure he had a sword.
1036
01:01:52,844 --> 01:01:55,244
He had a sword
to fight him with?
1037
01:01:56,114 --> 01:01:58,631
Bull. No fair, bull.
1038
01:02:00,335 --> 01:02:01,684
(EXCLAIMING)
1039
01:02:04,722 --> 01:02:07,172
Nice bull. Here. Back.
1040
01:02:10,428 --> 01:02:12,511
I just came for milk.
1041
01:02:13,848 --> 01:02:15,765
The little woman, bull.
1042
01:02:20,288 --> 01:02:22,988
Good bull. Nice bull.
1043
01:02:23,057 --> 01:02:24,974
Run, Malcolm! Run!
1044
01:02:25,026 --> 01:02:26,425
Bull! Bull!
1045
01:02:47,114 --> 01:02:49,648
Gee whiz,
you saved my life.
1046
01:02:49,717 --> 01:02:52,951
You're the bravest.
And what a pal.
1047
01:02:53,020 --> 01:02:55,688
You're a real pal,
the best pal
a guy could ever have.
1048
01:02:55,757 --> 01:02:56,989
Malcolm, will you
forget it?
1049
01:02:57,057 --> 01:02:59,091
Well, I can't forget it.
You could've been killed.
1050
01:02:59,159 --> 01:03:00,359
I said forget it.
1051
01:03:00,428 --> 01:03:02,094
I certainly won't.
1052
01:03:08,686 --> 01:03:10,319
You know,
I made a mistake.
1053
01:03:10,387 --> 01:03:13,355
You're a different kind
of Mr. Wiley, Mr. Wiley.
1054
01:03:13,424 --> 01:03:15,057
Well, now we're
getting somewhere.
1055
01:03:15,126 --> 01:03:18,377
Yes, but we're only getting
to Las Vegas, remember?
1056
01:03:25,386 --> 01:03:27,553
ALL: ♪ Tourists
come to old Nevada
1057
01:03:27,622 --> 01:03:29,271
♪ To see the Colorado
1058
01:03:29,340 --> 01:03:33,392
♪ Although the movie censor
won't let us utter "Damn"
1059
01:03:33,461 --> 01:03:36,595
♪ They can't stop us
from saying "Boulder Dam"
1060
01:03:36,664 --> 01:03:38,730
♪ When you cross into Nevada
1061
01:03:38,799 --> 01:03:40,266
♪ Cross into Nevada
1062
01:03:40,351 --> 01:03:43,185
♪ You're in the wild
and wooly West
1063
01:03:43,253 --> 01:03:45,304
♪ Where the two-gun bandits
once rode nightly
1064
01:03:45,389 --> 01:03:47,289
♪ One-armed
bandits now politely
1065
01:03:47,358 --> 01:03:49,875
♪ Help to deplete
your treasure chest
1066
01:03:49,944 --> 01:03:51,210
♪ In Las Vegas
1067
01:03:51,279 --> 01:03:55,948
♪ In the wild
and wooly West! ♪
1068
01:04:10,214 --> 01:04:12,347
Well, Red,
end of the line.
1069
01:04:13,518 --> 01:04:16,552
Yes, I guess it is.
1070
01:04:16,621 --> 01:04:19,989
I guess it's the end
of the end of the line,
I guess.
1071
01:04:24,729 --> 01:04:27,262
I'll get your bags
for you, Terry.
1072
01:04:27,331 --> 01:04:31,033
Come on, Mr. Bascom.
Come on, boy.
1073
01:04:31,102 --> 01:04:32,234
Come with me.
1074
01:04:40,127 --> 01:04:43,246
(WHINING)
1075
01:04:45,116 --> 01:04:46,499
(WHINING)
1076
01:04:53,725 --> 01:04:55,358
Come on, DuBarry.
1077
01:05:04,869 --> 01:05:06,969
Mr. Bascom, come back here!
1078
01:05:10,608 --> 01:05:12,741
Mr. Bascom! Mr. Bascom!
1079
01:05:12,810 --> 01:05:14,543
Excuse me,
have you seen Mr. Bascom?
1080
01:05:14,612 --> 01:05:16,478
Mr. Bascom?
One moment, sir.
1081
01:05:16,547 --> 01:05:18,346
Mr. Bascom!
Mr. Bascom!
1082
01:05:18,415 --> 01:05:19,448
(MR. BASCOM BARKING)
1083
01:05:19,516 --> 01:05:21,416
Oh, there he is.
Paging Mr. Bascom.
1084
01:05:21,485 --> 01:05:22,985
Never mind,
he's over...
Mr. Bascom.
1085
01:05:23,054 --> 01:05:25,554
No, you don't have to...
Paging Mr. Bascom.
1086
01:05:45,376 --> 01:05:47,143
Go away.
1087
01:05:47,211 --> 01:05:48,827
Leave her alone.
1088
01:05:48,896 --> 01:05:50,012
Mr. Bascom, where are you?
1089
01:05:50,081 --> 01:05:51,347
(MR. BASCOM BARKING)
1090
01:05:51,415 --> 01:05:53,782
Oh, there you are.
Come back here.
1091
01:05:53,851 --> 01:05:55,851
Mr. Bascom!
1092
01:05:55,919 --> 01:05:59,204
Mr. Bascom, don't you know
it isn't nice
to annoy ladies?
1093
01:05:59,273 --> 01:06:01,974
I'm awfully sorry, ma'am,
but, you see, he... Oh!
1094
01:06:02,593 --> 01:06:04,042
It's you!
1095
01:06:04,111 --> 01:06:07,496
Live, not on film
and not a kinescope,
but in the flesh.
1096
01:06:07,565 --> 01:06:10,032
And, oh, what flesh!
1097
01:06:10,100 --> 01:06:11,467
Thank you for calling
your dog, Mr...
1098
01:06:11,536 --> 01:06:12,835
Mr. Bascom.
1099
01:06:12,903 --> 01:06:14,169
And I'm awfully
glad to meet you.
1100
01:06:14,238 --> 01:06:15,771
I mean, he's Mr. Bascom.
1101
01:06:15,840 --> 01:06:17,306
(STUTTERING)
I'm mister... No, I'm me!
1102
01:06:17,375 --> 01:06:19,007
I'm Malcolm Smith,
1103
01:06:19,076 --> 01:06:20,876
the Malcolm Smith that
writes you special delivery
airmail letters.
1104
01:06:20,945 --> 01:06:22,994
I've licked
a thousand stamps
for you.
1105
01:06:23,063 --> 01:06:24,714
Oh, and I dreamed
of meeting you,
1106
01:06:24,782 --> 01:06:26,848
and I dreamed of your hair,
and your nose,
1107
01:06:26,917 --> 01:06:30,285
and your lips, and your chin,
and your eyes,
1108
01:06:30,354 --> 01:06:31,870
and your fingertips.
1109
01:06:31,939 --> 01:06:35,106
We're gonna be neighbors.
Neighbors? I just moved.
1110
01:06:35,175 --> 01:06:37,275
We can share
the same incinerator.
1111
01:06:37,344 --> 01:06:39,678
Just think,
I can deliver
my letters in person.
1112
01:06:39,747 --> 01:06:40,896
Go away, you crazy...
1113
01:06:40,964 --> 01:06:42,864
Oh! Oh! Wait! Oh!
1114
01:06:42,933 --> 01:06:45,284
Oh! Oh!
1115
01:06:45,352 --> 01:06:47,119
What are you doing?
Anita!
1116
01:06:47,188 --> 01:06:49,989
That's Anita. She fell in.
I'm gonna go in and save her.
1117
01:06:50,057 --> 01:06:52,892
I can't swim
but we'll both die together!
1118
01:07:04,855 --> 01:07:06,255
Don't push down! Pull up!
1119
01:07:06,324 --> 01:07:07,689
Don't push down!
1120
01:07:13,698 --> 01:07:16,064
I know. I know.
1121
01:07:16,133 --> 01:07:20,369
You told me that, but you are
my psychiatrist
and you must talk to her.
1122
01:07:20,438 --> 01:07:21,670
She's fallen in love
with a Great Dane,
1123
01:07:21,739 --> 01:07:23,639
and I don't think
they're compatible.
1124
01:07:23,708 --> 01:07:25,190
(WHINING)
1125
01:07:27,311 --> 01:07:28,677
But, gee whiz, Steve,
she's your neighbor.
1126
01:07:28,746 --> 01:07:30,246
You can square things for me.
1127
01:07:30,314 --> 01:07:32,048
Listen, Malcolm,
we're going to Hollywood
and sell the car.
1128
01:07:32,116 --> 01:07:33,382
You got
that straight?
Yeah.
1129
01:07:33,451 --> 01:07:34,917
But if we sold the car here,
I'd have some money.
1130
01:07:34,985 --> 01:07:37,086
And I could buy Anita
a present, then
she'd forgive me.
1131
01:07:37,155 --> 01:07:39,855
We can get more
for the car in Hollywood.
1132
01:07:39,924 --> 01:07:40,923
Oh!
1133
01:07:41,926 --> 01:07:43,392
What's the matter?
1134
01:07:43,461 --> 01:07:44,860
I'm getting it.
1135
01:07:46,230 --> 01:07:47,229
I'm getting it.
1136
01:07:47,298 --> 01:07:48,364
Looks like you
already got it.
1137
01:07:48,433 --> 01:07:50,332
No, the tingle
in my fingers, see.
1138
01:07:50,401 --> 01:07:52,868
The tingle in my...
There it is.
There's the twitch.
1139
01:07:52,937 --> 01:07:54,803
The twitch always
follows the tingle.
1140
01:07:54,872 --> 01:07:56,772
The tingle, then the twitch,
and there goes the eye.
1141
01:07:56,840 --> 01:07:58,807
You see it, Steve?
There goes the eye,
the left eye.
1142
01:07:58,876 --> 01:08:00,943
First the twitch.
1143
01:08:01,011 --> 01:08:04,313
The tingling fingers,
the eye. There.
1144
01:08:04,382 --> 01:08:06,482
I got it.
Give me some money.
1145
01:08:06,551 --> 01:08:08,350
Don't you think
a transfusion
would be better?
1146
01:08:08,419 --> 01:08:09,818
No, give me
some money, Steve.
1147
01:08:09,887 --> 01:08:11,053
All I got is two bits.
1148
01:08:11,122 --> 01:08:12,221
Well, that's enough.
Give me that.
1149
01:08:12,290 --> 01:08:13,622
Hey! Hey!
Here. Let's have it.
1150
01:08:13,691 --> 01:08:16,459
(STUTTERING)
I got that feeling.
1151
01:08:16,527 --> 01:08:18,860
And when
the twitch and the arm...
1152
01:08:18,929 --> 01:08:20,546
Malcolm!
1153
01:08:20,614 --> 01:08:22,280
(STAMMERING)
1154
01:08:22,350 --> 01:08:24,015
Take it easy, Malcolm.
1155
01:08:24,084 --> 01:08:27,052
You've been
with Anita too long.
1156
01:08:28,522 --> 01:08:29,988
Listen. Listen. Look.
1157
01:08:30,057 --> 01:08:31,457
You're sick. You're sick.
1158
01:08:31,525 --> 01:08:33,625
No, which eye...
Which eye...
Which way?
1159
01:08:33,694 --> 01:08:35,627
Which way is
the eye pointing?
Which way?
1160
01:08:35,696 --> 01:08:37,095
Pointing? It's shut.
1161
01:08:37,164 --> 01:08:40,299
Well, lift the lid.
Tell me which
way it's pointing.
1162
01:08:40,367 --> 01:08:41,984
That way.
That's the one.
1163
01:08:42,052 --> 01:08:44,636
That's the lucky one.
1164
01:08:46,407 --> 01:08:48,740
Well, there goes
our last two bits.
1165
01:08:51,746 --> 01:08:52,978
(MALCOLM EXCLAIMING)
1166
01:08:54,799 --> 01:08:58,266
Yeah! See, I told you!
I knew it!
I knew it! I knew it!
1167
01:08:58,336 --> 01:08:59,968
Jackpot.
1168
01:09:00,037 --> 01:09:02,404
(STUTTERING) I felt it.
When the eye told...
1169
01:09:02,473 --> 01:09:04,607
How did you do it?
Well...
1170
01:09:04,675 --> 01:09:06,441
Oh! Oh! Oh!
1171
01:09:06,511 --> 01:09:07,977
What's the matter now?
The jerking.
1172
01:09:08,045 --> 01:09:10,713
Which way is...
Which way is the jerking?
1173
01:09:10,781 --> 01:09:11,947
This way.
1174
01:09:12,016 --> 01:09:13,649
That's the one.
Come on, the jerking.
1175
01:09:13,718 --> 01:09:16,519
That's it.
Over here. The jerking.
1176
01:09:16,587 --> 01:09:18,420
(STAMMERING)
1177
01:09:18,488 --> 01:09:21,240
Seven the loser
and the next man shoots.
1178
01:09:21,308 --> 01:09:23,375
This feels very lucky
right here. What...
1179
01:09:23,444 --> 01:09:24,509
Craps?
1180
01:09:24,578 --> 01:09:26,144
You know how to play craps?
1181
01:09:26,213 --> 01:09:28,363
Well, no, but there's
no handle on this game.
I don't know...
1182
01:09:28,432 --> 01:09:29,581
You don't need a handle here.
1183
01:09:29,650 --> 01:09:30,782
But I have the lucky feeling.
1184
01:09:30,851 --> 01:09:31,917
You have?
Yeah.
1185
01:09:31,986 --> 01:09:33,185
Here, let me have
some chips here.
1186
01:09:33,254 --> 01:09:34,786
All right. Chips, yeah.
1187
01:09:34,855 --> 01:09:36,989
(STAMMERING)
And you put... What do I...
Do I hold the chips?
1188
01:09:37,058 --> 01:09:38,723
No, you take the dice.
1189
01:09:38,792 --> 01:09:39,858
Where?
Here.
1190
01:09:39,927 --> 01:09:41,293
Take these
two dice.
Yeah.
1191
01:09:41,362 --> 01:09:42,661
Take these
and I hold it?
And throw them.
1192
01:09:42,729 --> 01:09:43,963
What?
Just throw them.
Throw them.
1193
01:09:44,031 --> 01:09:46,515
Throw them.
All right.
No!
1194
01:09:46,583 --> 01:09:48,400
Come here. Here,
now take the dice.
All right.
1195
01:09:48,469 --> 01:09:49,501
Throw them down there.
1196
01:09:49,570 --> 01:09:51,269
Yeah, all of these.
1197
01:09:51,338 --> 01:09:52,554
Okay, we'll
shoot everything.
Take these dice.
Here, there's...
1198
01:09:52,607 --> 01:09:54,056
Not all of them!
1199
01:09:54,125 --> 01:09:55,624
Don't throw them...
Throw two at a...
1200
01:09:55,693 --> 01:09:57,426
Come here,
just two dice now.
1201
01:09:57,494 --> 01:09:59,160
Well, I don't know,
see, and I'm...
You just pick up two...
1202
01:09:59,230 --> 01:10:01,863
Look at all this...
Here, here's the two.
1203
01:10:01,932 --> 01:10:02,997
Now roll a seven.
1204
01:10:03,066 --> 01:10:04,399
Here's the number.
1205
01:10:04,468 --> 01:10:06,101
No, roll it down
there at the end,
roll a seven.
1206
01:10:06,169 --> 01:10:08,353
Come on, a seven.
I never...
1207
01:10:10,725 --> 01:10:12,640
Eleven, the winner!
1208
01:10:12,709 --> 01:10:13,925
Oh, 11. Fine, fine.
1209
01:10:13,994 --> 01:10:15,727
You got your mind
on a seven.
What is that?
1210
01:10:15,796 --> 01:10:17,829
11 is fine.
Yeah, but we
lost everything?
1211
01:10:17,898 --> 01:10:19,131
You gonna pay me,
conductor?
1212
01:10:19,199 --> 01:10:20,398
Pay him,
because that was an 11.
1213
01:10:20,467 --> 01:10:23,468
Hey, innkeeper,
pay this man for that number.
1214
01:10:23,537 --> 01:10:25,336
What is it now?
I gotta roll again?
1215
01:10:25,405 --> 01:10:27,105
Make another pass.
Can you make a pass?
1216
01:10:27,174 --> 01:10:28,573
Make another pass.
I can make a pass.
1217
01:10:28,642 --> 01:10:29,808
Go ahead, make a pass.
1218
01:10:29,877 --> 01:10:31,877
Honey, how would you...
No! Not that kind of pass!
1219
01:10:31,945 --> 01:10:35,697
Oh, you mean like this?
Yeah, another roll.
Shoot them.
1220
01:10:35,766 --> 01:10:37,149
Six. Six is the number.
1221
01:10:37,218 --> 01:10:38,416
I lost all that money.
1222
01:10:38,485 --> 01:10:39,617
No, you didn't lose.
Now, make a six.
1223
01:10:39,686 --> 01:10:40,752
Here's the dice.
1224
01:10:40,821 --> 01:10:41,954
Yeah, but you said
a seven before.
1225
01:10:42,022 --> 01:10:43,121
Make a six now.
1226
01:10:43,190 --> 01:10:45,090
All right, here's a six,
two threes is six.
1227
01:10:45,159 --> 01:10:46,892
No, you roll them
to make a six.
1228
01:10:46,961 --> 01:10:48,894
Hit the board
and come back.
Make a six.
1229
01:10:48,963 --> 01:10:51,262
Oh, the same way like before.
1230
01:10:51,332 --> 01:10:52,714
CROUPIER: Eight!
It's an eight,
make a six.
1231
01:10:52,783 --> 01:10:54,082
Oh, we lost all our money!
1232
01:10:54,151 --> 01:10:55,584
No, we didn't lose
anything! Make a six.
1233
01:10:55,653 --> 01:10:57,152
Yeah, but you said
a six and I made
an eight that time.
1234
01:10:57,220 --> 01:10:58,620
That's all right,
you're allowed to do that.
1235
01:10:58,689 --> 01:11:00,689
Oh, all right.
Come on, six.
Just hurry up. Come on.
1236
01:11:00,758 --> 01:11:02,574
Watch your hand,
lady! Lady!
1237
01:11:03,694 --> 01:11:05,127
CROUPIER: Six the winner.
1238
01:11:05,195 --> 01:11:06,978
Six!
That's it, six.
1239
01:11:11,752 --> 01:11:13,485
That's a good game!
1240
01:11:13,554 --> 01:11:14,719
Give me them again.
1241
01:11:14,788 --> 01:11:16,155
Let me make sixes
some more times.
1242
01:11:16,223 --> 01:11:17,539
No, wait a minute.
1243
01:11:17,608 --> 01:11:18,741
You got that lucky feeling?
1244
01:11:18,809 --> 01:11:20,509
Oh, I feel it in
the fingers and all...
1245
01:11:20,577 --> 01:11:22,077
Do you think
you can make snake eyes?
1246
01:11:22,146 --> 01:11:23,746
Yeah, yeah.
Snakes look like this.
1247
01:11:23,814 --> 01:11:25,347
No, no, make snake eyes.
1248
01:11:25,415 --> 01:11:27,182
What snake eyes?
I just made them for you.
1249
01:11:27,251 --> 01:11:31,386
No, make snake eyes.
Two aces. Two aces.
One on each dice.
1250
01:11:31,455 --> 01:11:32,988
Make it 30 to 1.
1251
01:11:33,057 --> 01:11:34,289
Oh, I can do that!
1252
01:11:34,358 --> 01:11:35,658
You're sure?
1253
01:11:35,726 --> 01:11:37,926
Oh, I'm so excited.
Give me the dice.
30 to 1!
1254
01:11:37,995 --> 01:11:39,828
Put all of this
on snake eyes.
1255
01:11:39,897 --> 01:11:42,397
ALL: Ooh!
1256
01:11:42,466 --> 01:11:44,166
Put it all on snake eyes.
1257
01:11:44,234 --> 01:11:45,500
All of it. That's it.
1258
01:11:45,569 --> 01:11:47,102
Give me the...
1259
01:11:47,171 --> 01:11:48,804
They're taking the money
but they're not
giving me the dice.
1260
01:11:48,873 --> 01:11:50,205
That's all right,
they're not locking it up.
1261
01:11:50,274 --> 01:11:52,241
Mister, give me...
All right,
they're coming out.
1262
01:11:52,309 --> 01:11:55,877
Snake eyes. Malcolm, you make
snake eyes and we'll change
the name of this place.
1263
01:11:55,946 --> 01:11:57,779
Don't drown them.
Just make snake eyes.
1264
01:11:57,848 --> 01:12:00,516
Oh, well, I see them do that
in the movies,
like the Monte Cristo movie.
1265
01:12:00,584 --> 01:12:04,036
Make snake eyes.
30 to 1.
1266
01:12:04,105 --> 01:12:05,604
CROUPIER: Snake eyes!
1267
01:12:08,992 --> 01:12:10,725
I knew it!
1268
01:12:10,794 --> 01:12:12,261
What happened?
1269
01:12:12,329 --> 01:12:15,797
Oh! Steve what's the matter?
What happened?
1270
01:12:15,866 --> 01:12:17,799
Did I do bad?
Why did you faint?
1271
01:12:17,868 --> 01:12:19,167
You throwed two aces.
1272
01:12:19,236 --> 01:12:20,469
Yeah, that's what
you told me to do.
1273
01:12:20,537 --> 01:12:23,271
You nearly won
$9,000 or $10,000, you won.
1274
01:12:23,340 --> 01:12:24,672
We won $9,000
or $10,000?
1275
01:12:24,741 --> 01:12:26,774
How do you do that?
Well, it's
the lucky feeling.
1276
01:12:26,843 --> 01:12:28,176
Remember I told you
about the itching,
1277
01:12:28,245 --> 01:12:29,544
and the twitching
and the jerking?
1278
01:12:29,613 --> 01:12:32,414
I knew something
was just driving me
to come to this table.
1279
01:12:32,483 --> 01:12:35,083
$9,000 or $10,000
is nothing because
when I get the lucky...
1280
01:12:35,152 --> 01:12:36,951
$9,000 or $10,000?
1281
01:12:39,756 --> 01:12:42,324
NEWSCASTER ON TV: On the lighter side, in Las Vegas today,
1282
01:12:42,393 --> 01:12:45,494
these two fellows, Steve Wiley and Malcolm Smith,
1283
01:12:45,562 --> 01:12:50,064
made history when they pyramided 25 cents to a small fortune
1284
01:12:50,133 --> 01:12:51,850
in less than 10 minutes.
1285
01:12:51,919 --> 01:12:55,120
Hey, boss, there's Wiley.
He's in Vegas.
1286
01:12:55,189 --> 01:12:57,289
Las Vegas?
1287
01:12:57,357 --> 01:12:58,756
Get me Sammy Ross
in Los Angeles.
1288
01:12:58,826 --> 01:13:00,558
He can make it
to Vegas in an hour.
1289
01:13:00,627 --> 01:13:01,693
I concur.
1290
01:13:01,761 --> 01:13:03,128
Come on. Come on.
1291
01:13:07,000 --> 01:13:09,100
Don't put that on yet, Red.
1292
01:13:10,904 --> 01:13:12,838
Mess up my collar.
1293
01:13:12,906 --> 01:13:14,556
Steve!
1294
01:13:14,625 --> 01:13:16,491
Why, I thought
you'd left hours ago.
1295
01:13:16,560 --> 01:13:18,260
Malcolm got lucky
and I thought,
1296
01:13:18,328 --> 01:13:21,496
maybe some of it
might rub off on me.
1297
01:13:21,565 --> 01:13:23,198
Steve, please.
1298
01:13:23,267 --> 01:13:25,700
Oh, don't mind us.
1299
01:13:25,770 --> 01:13:28,237
This is making it
the hard way,
but where were we?
1300
01:13:28,305 --> 01:13:30,105
We're on
in a minute.
1301
01:13:34,962 --> 01:13:36,061
Steve, I'll lose
my job.
1302
01:13:36,130 --> 01:13:38,197
You just quit.
1303
01:13:38,265 --> 01:13:40,281
We're going to Hollywood.
1304
01:13:41,518 --> 01:13:43,184
No, no,
it wouldn't be any good.
1305
01:13:43,253 --> 01:13:45,003
Look, Malcolm and I
got it all figured out.
1306
01:13:45,072 --> 01:13:49,825
With the money he won,
we can get into some kind
of a racket, a business.
1307
01:13:49,894 --> 01:13:53,862
Real nine-to-five,
five days a week,
kind of business?
1308
01:13:53,931 --> 01:13:55,580
No horses, no...
Honey,
1309
01:13:55,649 --> 01:13:58,834
we won't even buy
our first monster
a hobby horse.
1310
01:13:59,637 --> 01:14:01,904
You can make book on that.
1311
01:14:01,972 --> 01:14:06,024
Now you go ahead
and get yourself ready,
and I'll find our best man.
1312
01:14:17,504 --> 01:14:20,939
And the other guy says,
"I didn't even figure
I was in the same town.
1313
01:14:21,008 --> 01:14:24,075
"I had a magazine,
thought I'd wait around."
1314
01:14:24,144 --> 01:14:27,879
And he sees that
there wasn't even
much chance to catch the bus.
1315
01:14:31,985 --> 01:14:34,185
Catch the bus.
1316
01:14:34,254 --> 01:14:36,121
Waiter!
1317
01:14:36,189 --> 01:14:38,423
Catch the bus.
1318
01:14:38,492 --> 01:14:40,525
Let's have some more
champagne and caviar.
Yes, sir.
1319
01:14:40,594 --> 01:14:44,229
Waiter, let's have some more
champagne and caviar.
Yes, sir.
1320
01:14:44,298 --> 01:14:45,997
Waiter, while you're at it,
1321
01:14:46,066 --> 01:14:48,032
how about bringing us
some more champagne
1322
01:14:48,101 --> 01:14:49,468
and more caviar?
Yes, sir.
1323
01:14:49,536 --> 01:14:50,902
Waiter, will you stop
jumping around
1324
01:14:50,971 --> 01:14:53,305
and please stand still
so I can give you my order?
1325
01:14:53,374 --> 01:14:55,039
We'd like to have
some more champagne...
1326
01:14:55,108 --> 01:14:56,174
And more caviar.
1327
01:14:56,243 --> 01:14:57,376
Don't be ridiculous.
1328
01:14:57,444 --> 01:14:58,510
I've ordered enough caviar.
1329
01:14:58,579 --> 01:14:59,911
How much do you think
I can afford?
1330
01:14:59,980 --> 01:15:01,747
Just get some champagne.
Thank you.
1331
01:15:01,815 --> 01:15:03,848
Waiter. You're welcome.
1332
01:15:07,838 --> 01:15:10,605
Well, bottoms up!
1333
01:15:10,674 --> 01:15:13,625
Excuse me, I forgot
there were ladies present.
1334
01:15:22,686 --> 01:15:25,053
All right, easy, Sammy.
You're wrinkling
my cummerbund.
1335
01:15:25,122 --> 01:15:26,955
I'll wrinkle your brains.
1336
01:15:27,024 --> 01:15:28,790
The boss hears you're loaded.
1337
01:15:28,859 --> 01:15:30,258
His battery's out of order.
1338
01:15:30,327 --> 01:15:33,161
Yeah? You and your partner
had your picture on TV.
1339
01:15:33,230 --> 01:15:35,397
From two bits
to a fortune, they said!
1340
01:15:35,465 --> 01:15:37,198
Well, it was
my partner's loot.
He won it.
1341
01:15:37,267 --> 01:15:38,734
So you borrow it
from him.
1342
01:15:38,802 --> 01:15:40,235
Now, your battery's
out of order.
1343
01:15:40,303 --> 01:15:42,203
So I borrow from him.
1344
01:15:42,272 --> 01:15:44,506
Sammy, leave the kid alone.
1345
01:15:44,575 --> 01:15:47,009
I didn't fly up here
for nothing, chum.
1346
01:15:47,077 --> 01:15:49,611
Maybe I can make it
worth your while.
1347
01:16:27,350 --> 01:16:28,383
Where are we?
1348
01:16:28,452 --> 01:16:30,351
Shh! Terry's asleep.
1349
01:16:30,420 --> 01:16:33,321
No, I'm not.
I just like it here.
1350
01:16:33,390 --> 01:16:35,190
Morning, Terry.
1351
01:16:35,258 --> 01:16:36,992
Oh, good morning, Malcolm.
1352
01:16:37,061 --> 01:16:39,360
How do you feel?
Oh, very nice.
1353
01:16:42,833 --> 01:16:44,165
Steve, where are we?
1354
01:16:44,234 --> 01:16:45,533
Almost to Hollywood.
1355
01:16:45,603 --> 01:16:48,470
Hollywood!
Let's go back
to Las Vegas, Steve.
1356
01:16:48,538 --> 01:16:50,205
Please. I gotta see
Anita again.
1357
01:16:50,273 --> 01:16:53,008
Oh, Malcolm,
why don't you forget
about Anita?
1358
01:16:53,077 --> 01:16:55,176
You're just
another fan to her.
1359
01:16:55,245 --> 01:16:58,346
Not after the present
I sent her. Please,
Steve, turn around.
1360
01:16:58,415 --> 01:17:01,549
Relax, boy.
A lot of fans
send presents.
1361
01:17:01,619 --> 01:17:04,019
Yeah? With
real diamonds in it?
1362
01:17:04,088 --> 01:17:05,621
Real diamonds?
1363
01:17:05,689 --> 01:17:06,989
They'd better
be real diamonds.
1364
01:17:07,057 --> 01:17:09,057
I spent all the money
I won on it.
1365
01:17:09,126 --> 01:17:11,326
You spent
all your winnings
on a present?
1366
01:17:11,394 --> 01:17:13,978
Yeah, for
a beautiful necklace
1367
01:17:14,048 --> 01:17:16,581
to go around
her beautiful neck.
1368
01:17:16,650 --> 01:17:18,583
Before my hands
go around
your beautiful neck,
1369
01:17:18,652 --> 01:17:20,352
how much money
we got left?
1370
01:17:20,421 --> 01:17:23,355
Don't worry, Steve.
I still got your quarter.
1371
01:17:23,424 --> 01:17:25,223
Here it is.
1372
01:17:25,292 --> 01:17:29,144
Did I do bad? Was it bad?
What did I do bad?
1373
01:17:43,110 --> 01:17:45,243
Steve, honest,
I don't want to sell
my half of the car.
1374
01:17:45,312 --> 01:17:46,544
Really, it's become
part of me.
1375
01:17:46,613 --> 01:17:47,812
Can't you think
of something else?
1376
01:17:47,881 --> 01:17:49,114
I'm thinking of something.
1377
01:17:49,182 --> 01:17:50,348
I'm thinking
of double homicide.
1378
01:17:50,417 --> 01:17:52,918
One for each
of your heads!
1379
01:17:52,986 --> 01:17:54,585
Look, will you just
listen for a second?
1380
01:17:54,654 --> 01:17:56,221
This is the first car
I ever owned.
1381
01:17:56,290 --> 01:17:57,789
Really, it's the first thing
I ever owned
1382
01:17:57,857 --> 01:17:59,324
that didn't eat
Poochy Pup Dog Food.
1383
01:17:59,393 --> 01:18:00,758
Look, why don't you
be brave, boy?
1384
01:18:00,827 --> 01:18:02,193
You know, fly
right through it.
1385
01:18:02,262 --> 01:18:04,595
You know, like Jimmy Stewart
in 30 Seconds Over Tokyo.
1386
01:18:04,664 --> 01:18:06,398
No, that was
Strategic Air Command.
I'm sorry.
1387
01:18:06,466 --> 01:18:08,800
That was a Paramount picture.
That's all right.
But I don't wanna fly.
1388
01:18:08,868 --> 01:18:10,785
I just wanna rollio,
rollio in my new car.
1389
01:18:10,854 --> 01:18:12,570
I love it so much,
I even made up
a poem about it.
1390
01:18:12,639 --> 01:18:13,871
Would you like to hear it?
1391
01:18:13,940 --> 01:18:15,906
(TO TUNE OF THREE BLIND MICE)
♪ My new car
1392
01:18:15,975 --> 01:18:18,042
♪ Oh, how it ran
1393
01:18:18,111 --> 01:18:20,895
♪ It's as red as
a beautiful slice of ham
1394
01:18:20,964 --> 01:18:23,664
♪ As shiny and bright
as a frying pan
1395
01:18:23,733 --> 01:18:26,618
♪ It shouldn't
belong to no Stupid Sam
1396
01:18:26,687 --> 01:18:29,788
♪ My new car ♪
1397
01:18:29,856 --> 01:18:31,423
You know, I never thought
I'd live to say this,
1398
01:18:31,491 --> 01:18:33,891
but I like
that Poochy Pup poem
much better.
1399
01:18:33,960 --> 01:18:35,327
Yeah, I like
that one, too.
Oh, come on.
1400
01:18:35,395 --> 01:18:37,011
Would you like
to hear it again?
I could sing it.
1401
01:18:37,081 --> 01:18:39,081
(LAUGHING)
1402
01:18:41,585 --> 01:18:44,852
Well, perfect condition.
1403
01:18:44,921 --> 01:18:48,323
You're right, boy.
Clean as a whistle.
1404
01:18:48,392 --> 01:18:51,826
You read my sign.
You know how stupid I am.
1405
01:18:51,895 --> 01:18:53,528
Yeah, yeah.
I know that.
1406
01:18:53,597 --> 01:18:55,697
I'll give you $1,500.
1407
01:18:55,765 --> 01:18:57,899
$1,500?
$1,500?
1408
01:18:57,968 --> 01:18:59,000
$1,500?
1409
01:18:59,069 --> 01:19:00,535
Let's go around again!
1410
01:19:00,604 --> 01:19:02,804
Oh, come on.
Now look,
this car's only a week old.
1411
01:19:02,872 --> 01:19:05,373
I think we should
at least get $4,000.
1412
01:19:05,442 --> 01:19:08,710
Cars depreciate fast
that first week, boy.
1413
01:19:08,778 --> 01:19:11,963
Not that fast, boy.
Come on,
let's get out of here.
1414
01:19:12,733 --> 01:19:16,718
(LAUGHING)
1415
01:19:18,521 --> 01:19:20,354
Come on.
1416
01:19:20,423 --> 01:19:22,390
I'm sure glad
you didn't sell, Steve.
1417
01:19:22,459 --> 01:19:23,825
We'd be more
stupid than Stupid
1418
01:19:23,894 --> 01:19:25,526
if we were ever stupid enough
to sell to Stupid.
1419
01:19:25,596 --> 01:19:27,428
Oh, inside, stupid.
1420
01:19:30,601 --> 01:19:31,700
(SAM CHUCKLING)
1421
01:19:31,768 --> 01:19:35,654
No gas? You really are
low on cash.
1422
01:19:35,722 --> 01:19:37,455
(LAUGHING SARCASTICALLY)
1423
01:19:37,524 --> 01:19:38,589
There it is.
1424
01:19:42,712 --> 01:19:44,429
Here's your half, Malcolm.
1425
01:19:44,498 --> 01:19:45,764
Thank you.
1426
01:19:49,335 --> 01:19:51,202
Here's your $40, Terry.
1427
01:19:52,472 --> 01:19:54,205
I'll get you a cab.
1428
01:19:55,409 --> 01:19:56,541
Taxi!
1429
01:20:01,314 --> 01:20:04,582
Taxi? Where
are you going, Terry?
1430
01:20:04,651 --> 01:20:07,184
I didn't know
I was going anywhere.
1431
01:20:14,777 --> 01:20:15,960
Steve!
1432
01:20:18,031 --> 01:20:22,967
As Malcolm said,
just where am I going?
1433
01:20:24,504 --> 01:20:26,504
You said you had
an audition in Hollywood.
1434
01:20:26,573 --> 01:20:28,473
This is Hollywood.
Oh.
1435
01:20:29,676 --> 01:20:32,376
What was Vegas?
An audition, too?
1436
01:20:34,915 --> 01:20:37,348
That's about it.
1437
01:20:37,417 --> 01:20:40,151
I'm sorry I didn't
make good, Mr. Wiley.
1438
01:20:40,954 --> 01:20:42,320
Goodbye.
1439
01:20:51,581 --> 01:20:53,614
Psst.
1440
01:20:53,683 --> 01:20:56,817
Don't say anything,
but here's a deposit.
1441
01:20:56,887 --> 01:20:58,819
I'd like you
to hold the car
for a few days.
1442
01:20:58,889 --> 01:21:01,155
I'm gonna get lucky
and buy it back.
1443
01:21:03,793 --> 01:21:07,862
Yes. You'd better
get awful lucky.
1444
01:21:09,366 --> 01:21:12,200
This is a very nice business
you have here.
1445
01:21:18,458 --> 01:21:20,157
Hey, Steve,
where did Terry go?
1446
01:21:20,226 --> 01:21:22,126
Never mind where
Terry went. Here.
1447
01:21:22,195 --> 01:21:24,045
Here's the rest
of your money.
My money?
1448
01:21:24,113 --> 01:21:25,980
You already gave me my half.
This is your half.
1449
01:21:26,049 --> 01:21:28,016
No, it's all yours.
1450
01:21:28,084 --> 01:21:30,117
The whole car is yours.
It always was.
1451
01:21:30,186 --> 01:21:32,803
I just got in on the deal
with a phony ticket.
1452
01:21:32,872 --> 01:21:34,656
Phony ticket?
Yeah, phony ticket.
1453
01:21:34,724 --> 01:21:37,592
I had it printed up myself.
1454
01:21:37,661 --> 01:21:40,595
You mean in
the theater with...
1455
01:21:40,664 --> 01:21:42,730
Well, what's
the difference, Steve?
We're friends now.
1456
01:21:42,799 --> 01:21:44,065
What's the difference
how we met?
1457
01:21:44,134 --> 01:21:46,116
Friends? I tried
to steal your car.
1458
01:21:46,185 --> 01:21:48,853
I'd have gotten away
with it if it wasn't
for that hound of yours.
1459
01:21:48,921 --> 01:21:50,355
Yeah, I understand
that, Steve.
1460
01:21:50,423 --> 01:21:51,622
But remember,
I'd have never known
1461
01:21:51,691 --> 01:21:53,190
about the phony ticket
or the stealing
1462
01:21:53,259 --> 01:21:55,860
if you didn't tell me,
which means
that you're very noble.
1463
01:21:55,928 --> 01:21:58,929
You're as noble
as Abraham Lincoln
or Raymond Massey.
1464
01:21:58,998 --> 01:22:01,232
Malcolm, this may come
as a shock to you,
1465
01:22:01,300 --> 01:22:03,200
but Anita Ekberg
isn't even my neighbor.
1466
01:22:03,269 --> 01:22:04,535
Oh, I know it.
1467
01:22:04,604 --> 01:22:06,136
You know that?
1468
01:22:06,205 --> 01:22:08,122
Oh, yeah, I know that,
too, from reading
the movie magazines.
1469
01:22:08,191 --> 01:22:09,474
So you see,
you weren't lying.
1470
01:22:09,542 --> 01:22:11,025
You were just
pretending, Steve.
1471
01:22:11,094 --> 01:22:13,862
Pretending?
I was lying, Malcolm.
Look, I'm in trouble.
1472
01:22:13,930 --> 01:22:15,496
And anybody with me
is in trouble.
1473
01:22:15,565 --> 01:22:18,699
I owe a bookie big money
and this is a big bookie.
1474
01:22:18,768 --> 01:22:21,669
Yeah, well,
that's all right, Steve,
because, well, let's see.
1475
01:22:21,738 --> 01:22:24,305
I can get you some money.
I can get
the lucky feeling again.
1476
01:22:24,374 --> 01:22:26,040
Where are we gonna find
the crap tables?
1477
01:22:26,109 --> 01:22:29,210
Under the orange trees?
1478
01:22:29,279 --> 01:22:33,214
Wait a minute.
You think you can get
that lucky feeling again?
1479
01:22:34,117 --> 01:22:36,117
I know I can.
1480
01:22:36,186 --> 01:22:39,704
Hollywood Park,
here we come. Taxi!
1481
01:22:39,773 --> 01:22:42,840
Yeah, but I can't go
to the races dressed
in these clothes.
1482
01:22:42,909 --> 01:22:47,295
It's all right,
we'll change in the cab.
Then we'll check our luggage.
1483
01:22:47,364 --> 01:22:48,929
COMMENTATOR OVER PA: Heading for home, it's King Leo by a length,
1484
01:22:48,999 --> 01:22:52,567
Limping Home by a head, Dragon Fire by a neck and Hot Rivet.
1485
01:22:52,619 --> 01:22:55,420
In the stretch, it's King Leo leading by three lengths
1486
01:22:55,489 --> 01:22:59,040
ahead of Limping Home, Dragon Fire and Hot Rivet.
1487
01:22:59,109 --> 01:23:01,242
And the winner is King Leo!
1488
01:23:02,495 --> 01:23:03,695
(WHINING)
1489
01:23:03,763 --> 01:23:06,897
STEVE:
You and your lucky feeling.
1490
01:23:06,966 --> 01:23:10,702
MALCOLM: Gee, I'm sorry.
Come on, Mr. Bascom.
1491
01:23:12,405 --> 01:23:13,938
But, Steve,
listen to me.
1492
01:23:14,006 --> 01:23:16,992
Oh, quiet. I've done
all the listening
to you I'm gonna do.
1493
01:23:17,060 --> 01:23:19,711
Don't be mad
at me, Steve.
Will you be quiet?
1494
01:23:19,780 --> 01:23:21,413
Do you want us
to get thrown out of here?
1495
01:23:21,481 --> 01:23:23,047
No, I like it here.
1496
01:23:23,116 --> 01:23:25,216
Gosh, I can't believe it.
We're in the actual
Hollywood Bowl.
1497
01:23:25,285 --> 01:23:27,351
You know I never slept
in a bowl before?
1498
01:23:27,421 --> 01:23:30,255
Would you believe it?
Neither did I.
1499
01:23:30,323 --> 01:23:31,823
It just so happens tonight
1500
01:23:31,892 --> 01:23:34,793
I haven't got enough money
for a nice hotel room.
1501
01:23:34,861 --> 01:23:36,761
Yeah, but I told you
before, Steve,
1502
01:23:36,830 --> 01:23:39,030
this is the first time
my lucky feeling didn't work.
1503
01:23:39,099 --> 01:23:41,800
You told me. You told me.
Now get some sleep.
1504
01:23:41,868 --> 01:23:44,285
But I'm not sleepy.
I'm too excited.
1505
01:23:44,354 --> 01:23:46,388
Do you realize
this is the Hollywood Bowl
1506
01:23:46,456 --> 01:23:48,322
where some
of the great
symphony conductors
1507
01:23:48,392 --> 01:23:50,258
conduct some of
their great symphonies?
1508
01:23:50,327 --> 01:23:51,959
I know. I know.
1509
01:23:52,028 --> 01:23:55,246
And do you also realize
that the Hollywood Bowl
has 20,000 seats,
1510
01:23:55,315 --> 01:23:58,900
and it's completely
surrounded by 2,496 trees?
1511
01:23:59,486 --> 01:24:00,851
(WHINING)
1512
01:24:02,205 --> 01:24:06,708
Look, if you don't clam up,
one of those 2,496 trees
1513
01:24:06,777 --> 01:24:08,943
is gonna have a limp body
hanging from them.
1514
01:24:09,012 --> 01:24:10,812
Now get some sleep!
1515
01:24:10,881 --> 01:24:14,148
All right.
You don't have to get mad.
1516
01:24:20,390 --> 01:24:26,094
(SNORING ECHOING)
1517
01:24:28,431 --> 01:24:33,734
(BABBLING)
1518
01:24:35,238 --> 01:24:36,804
"Anita Ekberg
starts shooting
1519
01:24:36,872 --> 01:24:39,407
"her VistaVision picture
at Paramount today.
1520
01:24:39,476 --> 01:24:41,942
"The blonde star is now over
the severe cold she caught
1521
01:24:42,011 --> 01:24:43,478
"in a Las Vegas
swimming pool.
1522
01:24:43,546 --> 01:24:45,379
(MALCOLM BLABBERING)
1523
01:24:45,448 --> 01:24:48,149
"Paramount is also
testing Terry Roberts
1524
01:24:48,218 --> 01:24:49,450
"for a singing
and dancing role
1525
01:24:49,519 --> 01:24:51,152
"in the new
Elvis Presley movie.
1526
01:24:51,221 --> 01:24:54,088
"Miss Roberts'
previous experience was..."
1527
01:24:54,157 --> 01:24:56,624
(MALCOLM BLABBERING)
1528
01:25:02,065 --> 01:25:04,181
Up, Malcolm. Up, up!
1529
01:25:04,250 --> 01:25:05,650
Come on, up.
Oh.
1530
01:25:05,719 --> 01:25:07,452
You know something?
Yeah, I know something.
1531
01:25:07,520 --> 01:25:09,654
I was just dreaming
about Anita
and you know what?
1532
01:25:09,723 --> 01:25:11,723
She was wearing my necklace.
1533
01:25:11,791 --> 01:25:14,091
You know, it's funny.
I dreamed about Anita, too.
1534
01:25:14,160 --> 01:25:16,794
And what right do you have
to be dreaming about my girl?
1535
01:25:16,863 --> 01:25:19,864
Malcolm, all we did
was talk about you.
Oh, yeah?
1536
01:25:19,932 --> 01:25:22,166
And, oh, is she
mad at you.
Oh, no.
1537
01:25:22,235 --> 01:25:23,934
Oh, she's angry
with you.
No.
1538
01:25:24,003 --> 01:25:25,370
Yeah, she said
that no nice girl
1539
01:25:25,438 --> 01:25:27,839
takes expensive gifts
from total strangers.
1540
01:25:27,907 --> 01:25:29,940
She wants you
to go to the studio
and take it back
1541
01:25:30,009 --> 01:25:31,776
so I can pay off
Bookie Benny.
1542
01:25:31,845 --> 01:25:33,010
Take it back?
Mmm-hmm.
1543
01:25:33,079 --> 01:25:34,645
What do you want me to be?
An Indian giver?
1544
01:25:34,714 --> 01:25:37,948
Yeah, give her an Indian.
That's not so personal.
Yeah, that...
1545
01:25:38,017 --> 01:25:40,317
Come on, Malcolm.
Come on.
1546
01:25:40,387 --> 01:25:42,587
Come on, Mr. Bascom.
Come on.
1547
01:25:47,026 --> 01:25:49,394
Come on, Malcolm.
1548
01:25:49,462 --> 01:25:51,061
But, Steve,
I'm trying to tell you,
1549
01:25:51,130 --> 01:25:53,765
you can't just
walk into a studio.
1550
01:25:53,833 --> 01:25:56,567
You can't walk
into Paramount Studio
or any other studio.
1551
01:25:56,636 --> 01:25:58,402
It says so in
the fan magazines...
1552
01:26:16,539 --> 01:26:17,822
Hey, you!
1553
01:26:17,890 --> 01:26:19,240
Huh?
1554
01:26:19,309 --> 01:26:20,891
Is that a real dummy
you got there?
1555
01:26:20,960 --> 01:26:22,527
This is really a real dummy.
1556
01:26:22,595 --> 01:26:24,262
Cut it out, Steve.
1557
01:26:29,986 --> 01:26:31,235
(MR. BASCOM BARKING)
1558
01:26:38,761 --> 01:26:39,861
(BARKING)
1559
01:26:40,730 --> 01:26:42,513
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
1560
01:26:44,383 --> 01:26:45,516
(LAUGHING)
1561
01:26:47,070 --> 01:26:49,303
Hey, watch
where you're going!
1562
01:26:53,259 --> 01:26:54,692
Wait. Let's separate.
1563
01:26:54,760 --> 01:26:56,294
Maybe she's in there.
1564
01:27:04,236 --> 01:27:05,636
Good idea.
1565
01:27:06,922 --> 01:27:08,006
(WHISTLE BLOWING)
1566
01:27:13,046 --> 01:27:16,096
(ORCHESTRA PLAYING
IT LOOKS LIKE LOVE)
1567
01:27:21,487 --> 01:27:25,123
♪ It looks like love
1568
01:27:25,191 --> 01:27:29,027
♪ It feels like love
1569
01:27:29,095 --> 01:27:36,618
♪ And I confess
it's got me rocking
on my heels like love
1570
01:27:36,686 --> 01:27:43,106
♪ How else can I account for
that unexpected... ♪
1571
01:27:44,060 --> 01:27:46,127
What's the matter, kid?
1572
01:27:46,195 --> 01:27:47,662
I'm sorry.
1573
01:27:47,731 --> 01:27:50,498
I just can't seem
to get with it today.
1574
01:27:50,567 --> 01:27:52,917
Maybe I could come back
some other time?
1575
01:27:52,986 --> 01:27:56,871
CONDUCTOR: Honey,
it's a love song. Just sing it
like you mean it.
1576
01:27:56,939 --> 01:27:59,257
Okay, boys.
1577
01:27:59,325 --> 01:28:02,693
(ORCHESTRA PLAYING
IT LOOKS LIKE LOVE)
1578
01:28:02,762 --> 01:28:06,414
♪ It looks like love
1579
01:28:06,483 --> 01:28:08,632
♪ It feels like...
1580
01:28:10,536 --> 01:28:16,658
♪ And I confess
it's got me rocking
on my heels like love
1581
01:28:18,261 --> 01:28:25,999
♪ How else can I account for
that unexpected glow?
1582
01:28:26,068 --> 01:28:33,073
♪ That turns the night to day
each time we say hello
1583
01:28:34,109 --> 01:28:35,943
♪ It looks like love
1584
01:28:36,011 --> 01:28:37,778
♪ It looks like love
1585
01:28:37,847 --> 01:28:39,847
♪ It could be love
1586
01:28:39,915 --> 01:28:41,882
♪ Yes, it could be love
1587
01:28:41,951 --> 01:28:49,339
BOTH: ♪ But if it's not,
it's so darned wonderful
it should be love
1588
01:28:49,408 --> 01:28:53,327
♪ There's a lot more
I could tell you
1589
01:28:53,396 --> 01:29:00,801
BOTH: ♪ But you take
my breath away
1590
01:29:00,870 --> 01:29:04,972
♪ Yes, it looks like love
1591
01:29:05,041 --> 01:29:13,714
♪ Has come to stay ♪
1592
01:29:21,057 --> 01:29:22,623
I thought you were a single.
1593
01:29:22,691 --> 01:29:24,458
Only duets
from here on in.
1594
01:29:26,946 --> 01:29:28,312
MAN: Quiet!
1595
01:29:29,181 --> 01:29:31,048
Okay, everybody quiet!
1596
01:29:34,003 --> 01:29:36,153
It's her, Mr. Bascom.
It's her.
1597
01:29:38,274 --> 01:29:41,458
All right, Anita. Now...
1598
01:29:41,527 --> 01:29:44,979
Now, in this scene remember,
Napoleon is just
returning from Elba.
1599
01:29:45,048 --> 01:29:48,782
Now, you're waiting
for Napoleon, breathlessly,
impatiently.
1600
01:29:50,653 --> 01:29:54,821
He's your husband.
You're his wife.
1601
01:29:54,890 --> 01:29:56,406
And you love him
and he loves you.
1602
01:29:56,475 --> 01:29:57,491
(BELL RINGING)
1603
01:29:57,560 --> 01:30:00,928
All right quiet!
Roll them! Action!
1604
01:30:42,722 --> 01:30:44,421
No! No! Cut it! Cut it!
1605
01:30:44,490 --> 01:30:45,640
It's you again.
1606
01:30:45,708 --> 01:30:47,875
Yes, Malcolm Smith.
I came with Mr. Bascom.
1607
01:30:47,944 --> 01:30:51,211
Get that man!
Throw him out
of the studio!
1608
01:30:51,280 --> 01:30:53,013
(MR. BASCOM BARKING)
1609
01:30:54,233 --> 01:30:55,749
MAN: There he goes.
1610
01:30:55,818 --> 01:30:57,834
Anita, are you
all right?
That boy,
bring him back.
1611
01:30:57,903 --> 01:31:00,254
Bring him
back here!
And get
his dog, too.
1612
01:31:00,323 --> 01:31:01,572
And his dog, too!
1613
01:31:01,640 --> 01:31:04,358
Oh, they won't get you,
Mr. Bascom. Come on, boy.
1614
01:31:11,317 --> 01:31:12,649
(SCREAMING)
1615
01:31:20,459 --> 01:31:22,276
Start praying
for a miracle.
1616
01:31:31,037 --> 01:31:32,135
(EXCLAIMING)
1617
01:31:42,248 --> 01:31:43,847
Steve, they're
after Mr. Bascom.
1618
01:31:43,917 --> 01:31:45,516
Hello, Terry.
Help me.
1619
01:32:12,428 --> 01:32:14,027
Malcolm.
1620
01:32:14,096 --> 01:32:15,329
Malcolm.
1621
01:32:20,052 --> 01:32:21,352
Malcolm.
1622
01:32:28,677 --> 01:32:30,577
Steve, we lost Malcolm.
1623
01:32:34,533 --> 01:32:36,033
Oh, he's gone.
1624
01:32:37,769 --> 01:32:39,720
Who isn't?
1625
01:32:39,789 --> 01:32:42,022
You're not mad at me,
Miss Ekberg?
1626
01:32:42,091 --> 01:32:44,524
Only for giving me
such an expensive gift.
1627
01:32:45,394 --> 01:32:46,810
You must take it back.
1628
01:32:46,879 --> 01:32:48,162
Oh.
1629
01:32:48,230 --> 01:32:50,330
Well, isn't there
something I can give you?
1630
01:32:50,399 --> 01:32:51,899
Yes, there is.
1631
01:32:53,736 --> 01:32:55,453
What?
1632
01:32:55,521 --> 01:32:57,355
You may give me your dog.
1633
01:32:57,440 --> 01:32:59,206
Oh, I could never
give you Mr. Bascom.
1634
01:32:59,275 --> 01:33:00,991
I couldn't give him away.
1635
01:33:01,060 --> 01:33:03,627
I don't want you
to give him away.
1636
01:33:03,696 --> 01:33:06,263
I just want
to borrow him
for a while.
1637
01:33:06,332 --> 01:33:08,899
Oh. Mr. Bascom
would like that.
1638
01:33:08,968 --> 01:33:10,767
Yeah, that's all right.
1639
01:33:27,436 --> 01:33:28,836
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
1640
01:33:28,905 --> 01:33:30,237
This is Wendell Niles greeting you
1641
01:33:30,306 --> 01:33:32,656
from Hollywood's most famous landmark,
1642
01:33:32,725 --> 01:33:36,477
Grauman's Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard.
1643
01:33:36,546 --> 01:33:38,828
We're going to see a wonderful picture tonight.
1644
01:33:38,897 --> 01:33:40,797
But even more important than the picture,
1645
01:33:40,866 --> 01:33:43,667
is the story behind the scenes,
1646
01:33:43,735 --> 01:33:46,787
the story of a movie fan and his dog.
1647
01:33:46,856 --> 01:33:48,772
Here they come now.
1648
01:33:59,101 --> 01:34:01,919
May I have
your autograph, please?
1649
01:34:01,988 --> 01:34:05,338
Oh, wonderful!
Thank you.
1650
01:34:05,407 --> 01:34:08,692
CHORUS: ♪ Sound the trumpets in Stardust Alley
1651
01:34:08,761 --> 01:34:11,979
♪ Happy ending and grand finale
1652
01:34:12,048 --> 01:34:14,715
♪ Love, to all men, as some day it must
1653
01:34:14,783 --> 01:34:18,618
♪ Will come to make life merry for Steve and Terry
1654
01:34:18,687 --> 01:34:21,922
♪ Malcolm sweeter on Anita
1655
01:34:21,991 --> 01:34:25,209
♪ Mr. Bascom? Just you ask him
1656
01:34:25,278 --> 01:34:26,994
(BARKING)
1657
01:34:27,063 --> 01:34:33,884
♪ Hollywood or bust!
1658
01:34:37,106 --> 01:34:43,610
♪ Hollywood or bust! ♪
115558
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