Original subtitles

Are you a reporter?

Society reporter?

- The bride is my cousin. - Lovely girl.

Her mother was a Fish.

One of the Carrington-Fishes of Baltimore.

Oh, Baltimore.

Money from real estate and railroads.

Her father is a heel.

One of the gold-plated heels of New York.

Oh. Oh, of New York.

Yes. Money from foul play and corruption.

- Who is that man? - Charlie Bewell.

Well, he insulted the bride's father.

- He is the bride's father. - Oh.

- Happy, Susan? - Yes, Father.

Well, I suppose this is an occasion upon which I should give you some advice.

- Can't think of a thing. - You never could, darling.

Oh, I don't know. I don't know. I... Oh, yes.

The thing to remember is that in marriage, the husband and wife are one.

And the husband is the one.

My stomach's kicking up again.

I told you a million times not to eat lobster.

Well, Susan's married. How long do you give it?

He'll never fit in with our set.

I can't find anything to talk to him about.

He doesn't go to the races. He doesn't play cards. He doesn't have any time for...

I mean, I don't know how he spends his afternoons.

It seems to me...

Well, well, well, here's the bridegroom.

- How does it feel to be a married man? - Pretty good, so far.

Now, you be good to my poor Susan, or you'll have me to answer to.

- I've known her longer than you have. - Yeah, I know.

Now, Susan and I are very close. She depends on me.

Well, marriage changes a lot of things, you know.

Well, did you hear that? He insults me every time he talks to me.

And you! Why didn't you say something, you idiot?

Have some punch, dear.

- Got a minute, Larry? - Yes.

You know Oliver Clinton, don't you?

Oh, sure. We met in Washington about four months ago. Nice seeing you.

- You've done a real job on the insecticide. - Thank you.

Job, my foot. To Larry, 383 is a crusade.

He hasn't been home to dinner for a month.

We think it has great possibilities.

We think it'll make DDT look like talcum powder.

We'd like to get started on the field tests right away.

All right, sir.

If 383 comes up to our expectations...

you will have made a wonderful contribution to this project.

- I hope you're right, sir. Bye, Mr. Clinton. - Goodbye.

You know, we've got to get working on a field man.

Pretty short notice.

Do you think we could get Belletti away from Cross-Carter?

Well, I'm not sure Belletti's good enough.

Nobody's gonna seem quite good enough.

Guess I'm just jealous of whoever does the field job.

Excuse me, Bill.

Hello? Oh, hello, honey.

I'm sorry. I didn't know it was that late.

No, I'm afraid not. We still have a few things to settle here.

I'll see you later, huh?

Oh.

Well, give them my regards.

Yes, I'll see them later, too.

Goodbye, dear.

Millie and Henry Opdyke are coming over for dinner.

I'm sure getting tired of Millie and Henry Opdyke.

Millie, I've never really thought of moving.

Larry just loves this place.

You really must see it. It's a divine house.

Oh, but it's so expensive, Millie.

Don't be ridiculous. Your father's filthy with money.

We live on what Larry earns. You know that.

I know it, and I think it's ridiculous. Don't you, Henry?

Yes, dear.

Honey, I'm home.

- Oh, hi, darling. - Millie, Henry.

- Hello. - Hello, Larry.

- Hello, sweetheart. - Hi.

- I'm sorry to be late. - It's all right.

Say, let's get rid of them early. I wanna talk to you.

- I never can get used to his jokes. - Was I joking?

- You home? - Sorry to be late, Amy.

I'm not hungry. Just give me some dessert, huh?

- You're unusually cheerful tonight. - Yeah.

Oh, yes, feeling great, that's all. Feeling great.

Well, in that case, tell him about the house.

What house?

Millie was saying that the old Burton house on Stilton Road is up for sale.

And it's a great bargain.

Oh, yeah, I know the house. Pretty big place.

Susan can't possibly entertain properly in this shoebox of a house.

She needs a bigger place.

Of course, you'll need more help in the Burton house.

You'll never get along with just Amy.

Oh, we get along all right with just Amy.

You really should take a look at the Burton place, Larry.

Oh, the upper floor's a dream. There's an enormous bedroom for Susan...

and a wonderful paneled bedroom for you, each with its own dressing room and bath.

You mean separate bedrooms for Susan and me?

All the better homes are built that way.

Then we'll never live in one of the better homes.

Ha.

That'll be all, Amy. That's such a poisonous maid.

- If I were you... - I heard that.

- Well, you're just crazy to keep her. - Are you going to fire our maid, Millie?

You've already decided how Susan and I are gonna sleep.

If I didn't know you, Lorenzo Vega, I'd be very angry.

Of course, separate bedrooms...

it does seem sort of a lonesome way to sleep.

Don't you find it hard to fall asleep when you're alone?

Certainly not. You get to like it.

Oh, I don't know. And my feet. What about my feet?

You know, when they get cold, I kind of like to...

Yeah, well...

I think a man likes a room of his own after the first few years.

Then why don't you take the Burton house, Henry?

Separate bedrooms.

If I were a woman married to you, I'd hold out for separate houses...

in separate counties.

I never can tell whether he's joking or not.

I'm not.

- He doesn't mean it. - Don't be too sure.

Well, really, I could die.

As a matter of fact, there's no sense in even talking about a new house...

because Susan and I are going away.

What? Where are we going, dear?

I'm going to take on the 383 field job.

What's 383?

Oh, it's the new insecticide we've been working on at the plant.

It's got to be tested, so I'm going out with it myself...

and I'm taking Susan with me.

Oh, Larry. I've just been dying to go on a little trip.

With an insecticide? Where to, Larry?

Oh, here and there.

Larry, what sort of clothes will I need? How long will we be gone?

- About two years. - Two years?

First to Washington for a week of conferences.

Then to the South Pacific for the mosquitoes...

Africa for the tsetse flies, Puerto Rico for the roaches.

You mean to say you're going off to kill roaches, and you intend to take...

What sort of life would that be for you, surrounded by hundreds of dead roaches?

Millions.

- And what if they didn't die? - Oh, they'll die, all right.

Frankly, Lorenzo, I don't think it's a good idea.

Well, frankly, Millie, I didn't think you would.

Two years.

What are you gonna do with this house?

Oh, we can rent it or sell it.

I could die. I could just die!

You know something, Millie?

You're always saying that, but you never do it.

Larry, please.

Two years killing insects. People don't do such things.

Oh, but people should do such things, Henry.

You know, once you drop the ideal of money, all kinds of doors open.

Life becomes exciting. The view changes.

In my opinion, Larry, you're talking like a schoolboy.

How would you know? You never went, did you?

- Oh, Larry, please. - He can't talk to you that way.

- What does that mean? - I'll tell you what it means.

- Now, Larry, please. - I don't see how you can stand it.

- It will give me the greatest pleasure... - He doesn't mean it.

to tell you what I think of you and your way of living, Henry.

- Larry, now don't. - I don't have to stay here and be insulted.

He never liked us anyway.

And you, Millie, I've always disliked everything you stand and represent.

And that's an opinion that hasn't changed since I first met you.

- I could die! I could just die! - There she goes again!

Larry, will you stop? Will you stop it, please, all of you?

Please, stop it! Stop!

Really!

Amy, we've been waiting for the dessert. What's been keeping you?

Larry, please.

That was quite a performance you put on at dinner.

I'm sorry, honey.

I wish I knew what got into you.

I just figured we were going to be away on the field trip...

so I treated myself to the pleasure of saying a few things...

that I had in my mind for a long time.

I don't know how I'll ever face them again.

- Why try? - I can't imagine what they'll think.

- I don't care what they think! - You don't care what they think. I know.

It doesn't matter. We'll be thousands of miles away.

Look, honey, I know I picked the wrong time to tell you about it...

but you're gonna love this trip. It'll be the experience of a lifetime.

You really intend to go on this trip, huh?

Yes. Even if I didn't have to, I'd go just to get away from Millie and Henry.

- Look, I know you don't like Henry Opdyke. - He's a load of hay.

But I wish you would remember that Millie is my cousin and my closest friend.

- She's a load of hay, too. - She is not.

She's a breed of cat that's dying and deserves to die.

That's a terrible thing to say. Millie is devoted to me.

She's a fine woman.

And I'm Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

I wish you'd leave Cousin Millie out of this.

How can I leave her out of it? She's in it up to her neck.

Oh, I could die. I could just die!

Well, you're even beginning to sound like her.

And if I don't do something about it, you'll get to be like her.

Oh, pooh!

First, the new house. That will keep you busy for a while.

Then it'd be health fads, imaginary ailments and handsome doctors.

And, oh, yes, the secret crushes on movie stars.

Millie's married to a load of hay, so she takes it out on Robert Taylor.

Gregory Peck!

All right, Gregory Peck, then.

I'm telling you, Susan, that's the way you're heading.

Well, you're no prize. You have a few faults of your own, if you must know.

Oh, I have, have I?

Yes, you have, have you! Maybe I annoy you, but let me tell you something.

You annoy me, too.

Spilling ashes all over the place.

If I didn't trail around after you, picking up lighted cigarettes...

you'd burn holes in every piece of furniture in the house.

And this thing!

It drives me crazy.

You'll never learn to play it properly. It's a perfectly ridiculous hobby!

Oh, I don't agree. Albert Einstein played the fiddle!

Well, you're no Einstein.

And you snore.

Well, I'll let you in on a little secret. So do you.

- I do not! - Ha!

And you, you suck your teeth all the time.

And you talk with your mouth full.

You don't know how those things can get on a person's nerves.

- Sometimes I think I'll scream! - Go ahead and scream!

I will not!

When we first got married, Susan...

I thought we'd begin to think alike and care about the same things.

How can we, with you at the office all the time?

And why shouldn't I go to the movies? You leave me alone day and night!

- I do not. - You do, too.

And you don't like my friends and my relatives.

And you say I don't take any interest in your work.

- If you come with... - I don't care a thing about your work.

If you come with me on this trip, we'll be together!

But, no, you're afraid to leave Cousin Millie!

Well, I'm sick and tired of the whole thing.

It seems to me you're just sick of me.

You just don't like our whole marriage, Lorenzo Vega.

Well, maybe I don't, Susie Vega!

What makes you think I do?

What's happened to us, Susan?

I guess that's that.

And if separate bedrooms is what you want...

we'll start right now.

I'll sleep in the study.

And I'll sleep in the study until you beg me to come back.

Good night!

He just doesn't like me, that's all.

He's just sick of our whole marriage.

And I don't snore.

- What's the matter? - I... There is a... I'm scared.

Well, I was scared, too, honey.

You were?

We shouldn't have said those things to each other.

- It was terrible. - Oh.

You know, I think it's wonderful of you to come in here and...

Something frightened me. I saw... Larry, I saw something.

It wasn't there, but there it was.

I mean, it wasn't, but it was.

What was, dear?

It was a something.

It was like a ghost. Only it was like a...

Now, honey.

- It looked like a... - Honey, I understand.

Now, look, you don't have to be ashamed because you came in here to make up.

I think it's wonderful of you.

There's something wrong with me. I'm out of my head.

I'm afraid I upset you. I didn't mean to, honey.

I behaved like a dog.

Next time I do anything like that, you just slap my ears down.

Come on, now. Smile.

Love me?

I was a little frightened, that's all.

I know, honey. I was pretty frightened, too.

I wouldn't want to lose you, baby.

You know...

I keep remembering the way it was the first year of our marriage.

We had something then that seems to have slipped away from us.

In those days, there was nobody in the whole world but just you and me.

That's why I want you to go on this trip with me...

because I think it gives a chance to get to know each other again.

And it'd give you something to do, sort of a job of your own.

And it'd be fun, camping out. New places, new people.

Larry, would you close that door, please?

Susan, you haven't been listening.

What? Oh, yeah, I heard everything you said, honey...

but I'd just be a little more comfortable with the door closed.

And the window. Would you draw the curtains, please?

Now, what were you saying, dear?

Oh, it doesn't matter. We'll talk about it some other time.

Let's go back to bed.

Oh, no! No, I don't want to go in there. I want to stay here.

I just love it here. It's real cozy. Isn't it nice? Isn't it fun?

Here. Here, here.

I don't quite know how to start. Well, you see, the...

The truth is...

I see things.

You see things?

- I see an angel. - An angel?

With wings?

Well, no.

That is, I think it's an angel.

It's only some sort of hallucination, of course.

- Of course. - Of course.

It was transparent at first. I could see right through it.

But now it just looks like an ordinary man.

An ordinary man.

Well, not quite ordinary. You see, he's...

He's extremely handsome and...

I see.

- Do you dream about him? - No.

No, I just see him, the way I'm seeing you.

Never dream about him.

Well, now that's not quite true, either.

You see, years ago...

before I was married, I used to dream about him.

You mean the man is someone you know?

Well, yes. You see, he's... He resembles...

- He looks a lot like... - Now just relax, Mrs. Vega.

There's nothing to be ashamed of.

Nothing except that I'm losing my mind.

Oh, now, I wouldn't go that far.

Now, tell me...

how often do you see this man?

- This angel? - Why are you so sure he's an angel?

Because I saw him that way. I did.

And because I'd prefer not to think of him as a man.

I refuse to go about saying...

that there's an extremely handsome man following me.

Why, if I ever heard a woman say that, I know what I'd think of her.

You see, I know he's not there. I know it's just something in my mind.

But if my mind insists that there's a very attractive man running after me...

why, it's just comic.

It's embarrassing, and I refuse to admit it.

You don't have to admit it. I understand.

Now, when did this hallucination occur for the first time?

- Last night. - Where?

Well, he started on the roof...

and then he came on into my bedroom.

Oh, nothing happened. He just walked through.

Nothing.

He just appeared, and there he was.

Have you told your husband about this?

Oh, no, no, I couldn't.

You see, the angel resembles...

- He looks a lot like... - Yes?

Well, this just isn't the sort of thing that I could discuss with my husband.

- Besides, he'd never believe it. - I understand.

Your case, Mrs. Vega, has the clearest and simplest sort of origin.

Oh, one of the commonest causes of hallucination is suggested here.

You see, when the mind focuses...

too definitely on any one desired object or person...

that object sometimes would seem to appear.

Now, just don't worry about it.

You come in on Monday afternoon at 4:00...

and we'll have a nice long talk about it.

- Oh, Monday? - Yes. Now, don't worry.

Just take a couple of aspirins and remember...

he's only in your mind.

I know. Only in my mind.

That's right. Goodbye, Mrs. Vega.

That's right.

Oh, no!

What?

Hello, Susan. Do you want to see me?

Yes.

Sit down, Father.

Father...

was there ever any insanity in our family?

Oh, no, not more than in most.

Your great-aunt Agatha was a suffragette...

and your uncle Louis was a trifle on the jolly side, but I don't think...

Was there... Was there ever anything...

supernatural or weird?

Weird? No, no. Your mother's family was a little uncanny, but...

What do you mean, uncanny? Did they see things?

Oh, no. No, no.

That was my side of the family, the Bewells.

But your mother's side of the family, the Carrington-Fishes, they...

There was a little something uncanny about their good luck, you know.

Their bread always fell butter-side-up.

They were... I don't know, they were just lucky.

There was an old saying in the family that the Fishes all had guardian angels.

Although why, I don't know. They certainly didn't deserve it.

Now you take your uncle Bertie...

The Carrington-Fishes have guardian angels?

Yeah.

- And the Bewells see things. - Yeah.

What do they see?

Well, now, your uncle Busby Bewell used to see little gnomes, you know.

Little bits of fellows with pink hats.

They wore ruffled aprons, and they carried mallets.

You know, the poor fellow always had a headache.

And then there was your cousin Gertrude Bewell.

She saw, every Thursday afternoon, the spirit of her dear departed butler.

They said. Now, I wouldn't know, because she never confided in me.

She was a sweet old thing. She had a face like a toad...

and the disposition of a coyote.

- Father. - Yes, dear.

I see things.

Oh, really? Well, well, well.

- What do you see? - I see an angel.

An angel, eh? Oh, with wings?

What difference does that make? No, he doesn't have wings.

Guardian angels don't have wings, do they?

Guardian angels aren't like angels from heaven.

They can look like ordinary men.

You don't tell me. Well, yes, I suppose they can.

What does he do?

Oh, he just follows me around. He's here right now.

Oh, really? Where?

- Over there. - There?

There.

Oh, you can't see him. Nobody can. Nobody sees him but me.

Father, I don't know what to do. I went to see a doctor.

He seems to think that I'm having a nervous breakdown.

Nonsense. You have nerves of steel, just like your mother.

Then you don't think he's just in my mind?

Well, my dear, of course I wouldn't know. I don't know. What does he say about it?

- Who? - This fellow...

Oh, he doesn't speak. He doesn't say anything.

I see. Well, now, my dear...

you let me know if there's anything else I can do to help you.

Oh, but, Father...

I must be going, my dear. It's Saturday night, you know.

The club, of course.

But, Father, what about the angel?

Well, I don't know, my dear. What does Larry say?

Oh, I didn't tell him. You see, the angel looks like...

Well, Larry wouldn't understand. Anyway, he's too busy.

Yes, well, I'll drop in tomorrow and see how it's going.

- Goodbye, my dear. - Goodbye, Father.

- Susan. - Yes?

Susan.

Susan...

I think it's time for us to have a talk.

You're there.

You're not in my mind. You're there.

Yes.

I'm not just imagining you.

Of course not.

Then why didn't you speak? Why didn't you say something?

You were too scared. You wouldn't have listened.

But now I think you're getting used to me.

Used to you? I am fed up with you.

You'll have to get over that, too, before we can get down to business.

Standing around smirking.

- Susan. - What? What? What?

Talking to yourself?

I wasn't talking. I was humming. I was singing a...

I'm all right.

Susan, I want to talk to you.

Oh, don't go.

I'm not going, dear.

Susan, try to listen.

Are you sure you're not sulking?

- What? - About going away.

Honey, could we discuss it some other time?

I don't feel very well. I have a headache.

I think if I could lie down for a while... You don't mind, do you, dear?

No, of course not. I don't mind it at all.

Now.

Yes, ma'am.

Why don't you leave me alone? Why are you persecuting me?

Not persecuting, protecting.

Protecting? Do you call this protecting?

Don't you see what you're doing to my marriage?

Don't you see what you're doing to your marriage?

My marriage is all right.

You're heading for very serious trouble.

I don't know what you're talking about.

And what business is it of yours, anyway?

- It's very much my business. - Your business? What are you?

You know what I am.

You mean that guardian angel bit? Oh, is that so?

Well, let me ask you something, Mr. Angel.

If you're what you say you are...

why do you look like James Mason?

- Oh, do I look like James Mason? - You know you do.

So, I look like James Mason, do I?

Why do you look like James Mason?

I look the way you want me to look.

Oh.

You mean...

if you were Millie's angel, you'd look like Gregory Peck?

That's the idea.

And if I were Larry's angel...

I should look like Ava Gardner.

You would not.

Larry's not like other men.

Isn't he?

But he...

Ava Gardner, huh?

Lorenzo, please don't make that noise with your teeth.

Oh. I'm sorry, dear.

You know, I had the darndest dream last night. I...

- Where are my glasses? - On the table.

How do you like that? Right under my nose.

Now, what were you saying, dear?

I said, where were my glasses, and you said that they were...

Oh, you mean about the dream?

I had the darndest dream last night.

Did you? That's very interesting.

Yeah.

I dreamed, sitting at the foot of my bed, was Ava Gardner.

And she was wearing a kind of a beautiful mantilla...

and in her hand...

Good morning. Good morning.

- Hello, Charlie. - Good morning, Father.

Say, I thought the doctor told you to taper off.

I did. I tapered off beautifully...

and now I'm going through the joyous process of tapering on again.

How about some breakfast?

Oh, no, no, thank you, darling. I just came by to say hello.

I have a luncheon engagement.

So what's this you were saying about Ava Gardner?

Oh, I dreamed about her last night.

Nice going, boy.

Well, I can't help it if he dreams about her.

You remember the time you dreamed...

that you and I were caught in an elevator alone between floors...

- and you... - Quiet!

Oh. I'm sorry.

She doesn't like it.

Anything wrong?

- I was just talking to my... - Oh. Oh, where is he?

Over there.

- Haven't you told Larry? - No.

Well, I think you'd better tell him.

- How? - Come on, I'll help you.

- Now? - Yes, come on.

Larry, we want to talk to you about something. Don't we, Father?

Yes.

Ever hear of guardian angels?

- Of what? - Guardian angels.

You mean angels with wings?

Why does everybody keep asking that?

And what difference does it make anyway?

I only asked a question.

Now, as you know, everybody has a guardian angel.

No, I didn't know.

- Well, they have. - Okay.

You accept it that far?

Well, what am I supposed to say?

Well, you simply say you believe in guardian angels.

- I believe in guardian angels. - Good.

- You take it from there, my dear. - Oh.

Well, now...

some people, if they...

happen to be the sort of people who can see angels...

see them.

Is it my turn? Now what do I say?

- What do you mean, what do you say? - Well, I don't know this game.

I never played it before. I don't know the answers.

I told you he wouldn't go for it.

No, no, no. Now, you see, we're trying to establish first...

the simplest part, that there are such things as guardian angels.

- You're serious, aren't you? - Well, we...

- I'm a scientist. - He's a scientist.

A scientist believes in evidence.

If you can show me evidence of the existence of guardian angels, I'll believe it.

Oh, sure. Evidence.

Yeah. Well, now, as you know, my boy...

evidence is not always... You know, they...

You take the flying saucer, for example.

You mean to tell me that you think...

that flying saucers are run by angels?

Oh, no, no. No, I didn't... I beg your... I didn't mean that I think...

Now look here, Susan has a flying angel.

- A what? - A guardian angel.

And she sees it.

Susan...

Aren't you even willing to discuss it?

Discuss what?

He's a scientist.

Well, this has been nice, but I have a luncheon engagement.

Goodbye, Susan.

Let me know if there's anything else I can do.

Goodbye, Charlie.

What's the matter, honey? Something bothering you.

- It sure is. - Don't you wanna tell me about it?

I have an angel.

Oh, now, Susan.

Oh, go smoke a test tube. You and your science.

One of these days you scientists are gonna blow up the world.

Now, just a minute. That's a very sore point with scientists.

We don't wanna blow up anything.

The aim of a scientist is to make the world a better place to live in.

For everybody except your wives.

Oh, now, Susan. Come on. Let's not fight about nothing, huh?

Come on, sweetheart.

Who's Laura Evans?

She's from Pasadena.

$250. What did she sell for $250?

We played bridge. I didn't have any cash.

You have an address here of a Dr. Winter. Do you go to a Dr. Winter?

Oh, yeah.

What for?

Millie recommended him.

What was the matter, dear?

Oh, he seemed to think I was having a nervous breakdown, but it was only the...

Are you all right?

Fair.

Look, Susan, you have been acting kind of nervous, lately.

Maybe I've been leaving you alone too much.

Tell you what. How about dinner and a movie tonight, huh?

- Oh, could we? - Would you like that?

Would I? Dinner and a movie, I'd just love that.

- I'll go get dressed. - All right, dear.

- You're sure now? - Sure.

- You're not gonna change your mind? - Of course not.

Okay.

Two, please.

Thank you.

What is this place? What are we doing here?

This is your home.

You can't keep me here.

Can't keep you here? I seem to be doing it.

You have no right.

You are my woman now.

I'm not your woman!

Look out!

You caused that animal's death.

I don't like killing without reason.

What did you think you were doing out there?

Exploring.

You never know what you're going to meet when you go...

exploring.

Come here.

I said, come here.

Come here!

Why do you fight me?

You know that this is stronger than we are.

Let me go. Let me go.

You're never going back.

I must. I must.

You brute. You brute.

Are you my woman?

Are you?

Are you?

Answer me. Are you my woman?

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Yes.

Pretty good picture, huh? Let's go.

Come on, Susan. Let's go.

Susan, I'm hungry. I'm gonna make myself a sandwich.

Be right up.

Hello? Hello, Bill.

We were at the movies.

What?

You don't say.

I see.

Stop it. Pull yourself together.

You got a hangover from that movie.

It's only the movie. Don't take it out on me.

Cut it out! Snap out of it, baby!

What did you call me?

Baby.

That's very sweet of you, angel.

No, no. I'm afraid you don't understand.

You see, a guardian angel is assigned to you the minute you're born.

You become his baby.

You'll always be my baby.

Susan, I want to talk to you. Now's the time.

Why now?

Because your attitude towards me has changed.

You were afraid of me at first, then you resented me.

But now I think you like me.

I want you to listen very carefully. We don't have much time.

Larry's having a sandwich in the kitchen. He'll be here soon...

so close the door.

Sit down.

Let's talk about love.

All right, let's.

What do you know of love?

Well, I...

Well, I...

Really, James, I'm not a child.

Susan, let me tell you a story.

I once knew a man with the face of a mountain goat.

His wife loved him very, very much.

She thought him utterly charming...

though the truth was that he dribbled when he ate...

and he was cross-eyed and bald and fat...

and he had all sorts of little human habits...

which would have irritated her very much...

if she hadn't been in love.

Do you know why she loved him?

Well, there's never any answer to that question.

But there is.

Love isn't something that strikes blind. There are always reasons deep down.

Even lightning strikes in some places and not in others for reasons.

All right, why did she love him?

Because...

the man with the face of a mountain goat...

had the heart of an Abraham Lincoln.

And she was wise enough to know this...

and so, to her, he was always something more than just a man.

There was something of God in him.

And he never stopped loving her...

because he knew that she understood what he was, and he loved her for it.

And he never noticed the wrinkles coming and the hair going gray.

Their love was deeper than that, so it lasted.

They had a wonderful life.

I see. I see what you mean.

There are some people who go through all their lives...

without ever knowing the companionship of another soul.

You've seen them. Married people...

going through all the gestures and the acts of love...

but each living his life alone.

Each on an island, apart from the other.

I know. Like Millie and Henry.

Yes.

And you.

You and Larry are drifting apart.

You started together a few years ago...

and then you started to travel along different paths.

You're going one way, Larry's going another.

And from here on, you can get further and further apart.

And being apart, little quarrels take on an importance.

And one thing leads to another until two people who really belong together...

are separated for good.

And for the rest of their lives, they wonder how it happened...

how anything so vague and mixed-up...

could have culminated in a separation so definite.

Well, maybe you're right, but I must say you haven't been doing anything to help.

We've been drifting farther and farther apart...

since you showed up.

Sometimes things have got to get worse before they can get better.

Some people don't notice the clock on the wall till it stops ticking.

Or, for example...

take a small boat drifting towards the rapids.

There are two passengers in it, fast asleep.

But if the boat hits a small rock...

the passengers wake up in time to save themselves from disaster.

Now, if you grant that you and Larry have been going along these two paths...

then the problem becomes easy.

Either Larry must go your way, or you must go Larry's.

I know what you're going to say.

The husband and wife are one, and the husband is the one.

Look, that's a very old-fashioned idea.

Why should the wife always go the husband's way?

Not always.

But in your case, there's no other way to go.

I'm sure you're not gonna tell me that your path is a very good one.

It isn't even your path. It's Millie's Opdyke's.

Look, are you my guardian angel or Larry's?

I'm yours, baby, and I think it's time for you to grow up...

time for you to learn a little more about love.

Oh, it's fine to go to the movies and moon over a movie star.

It's fun.

But I'm not sure that you know what a husband is.

You expect him to be something like a Prince Charming.

- Well, that ain't bad. - No, but it's not enough.

You're missing the best of love if you settle for that.

A husband should be father, brother...

friend, sweetheart, guardian angel...

and just a touch of Prince Charming.

You know, you make awfully good sense.

Why don't you try Larry's path? You might like it.

But I don't know how. I don't know anything about Larry's work.

How do I go about it? Where do I start?

You're going to have an opportunity very, very soon.

Right now, in fact.

That was Bill Finlay on the phone. He's been trying to get me all evening.

I got to pack.

Pack for what?

Washington wants to see a practical demonstration of 383...

before I go on that two-year trip. I leave at 6:00 in the morning.

- Where are you going? - To Wallomee County.

There's been a report of immunized mosquitoes.

- Oh, is that bad? - No, they're doing no harm.

- Is it good? - Yeah, it's great.

See, they've been treated with a lot of other insecticides...

and now they develop a very strong immunity.

In addition to that, there's been several days of steady rain.

The setup is just right.

It's a great chance to test 383...

under conditions that are very seldom duplicated.

- Well, how long will you be gone? - Just a day or two.

Go with him.

Why not?

- Why not what? - Why not take me with you?

- No, honey, you wouldn't like it. - Oh, sure I would. I'd love it.

I want to know more about your work, Larry.

- You do? - Yeah.

Well, it might not be a bad idea at that. It'll give you a chance to see what...

- I've been doing for the past five years. - Yeah.

Besides, I think a change like this will do you good.

Sure, it'll do me great.

- Then you'll take me? - All right.

You'll be able to see 383 on its first test. You'll be right there to see it happen.

We'll be watching it together.

I'll be seeing those crazy old mosquitoes dying like flies.

Susan!

Come on, honey, we gotta get going.

- Have you any idea what time it is? - Sure, 6:00.

When you decided to leave at 6:00...

did you know it came so early in the morning?

You're buttoned up all wrong.

Your buttons are all crooked. Here, I'll fix it for you.

Maybe we're too early.

Do you think the mosquitoes will be up yet?

They'll be up, don't worry.

I hope so. Seems a shame to wake them up just to kill them.

Look, Susan, don't worry.

Mosquitoes only sleep a couple of hours a night, anyway.

- Is that so? - That's right. Come on.

Susan.

Susan.

Are we there yet?

Move over, honey. I gotta drive.

You know, that explains why those mosquitoes are so cranky.

What does?

If I only had two hours sleep, I'd go around biting people, too.

- Hi. - Hi, sleepyhead.

- What time is it? - 7:10.

7:10?

Boy, this morning is sure a slow starter.

Oh, my, doesn't everything look...

fresh and green and pretty this time of morning?

- Sure, it's the best time of the day. - You're right.

It's too bad it doesn't come later on in the afternoon...

when more people are up to enjoy it.

Hey, look at all the stuff you brought. What are these sticks for?

- Oh, those are for our tent. - Our tent?

Oh, that's right. We'll be sleeping in a tent.

That's right.

Tenting tonight, tenting tonight

- Tenting on the old camp-ground - Tenting on the old camp-ground

- What's this thing? - What thing?

- This rolled-up rubbery yellow thing. - Oh, that's our boat.

This thing is a boat?

- Hey, hey, don't pull that rope! - Why?

You pull the rope, it releases a bottle of CO2.

It, you know, inflates the boat. Fills it up with air.

Why do we need a boat?

Well, the mosquito is an aquatic breeder.

- An aquatic breeder. - That's right.

And the larvae and pupae, they thrive in water.

So, of course, we have to attack the larvae and pupae in their natural habitat.

Of course.

Larry, what are we talking about?

You sounded like you knew.

Well, I sort of got caught up in the rhythm of it.

Well, it's all pretty technical.

There's no reason why you should know about it.

Oh, but I wanna know about it.

- You do? - Yeah.

All right. Now, let me see.

Insect resistance is one of the toughest problem...

facing chemists in the world today.

You take Central Africa, for instance.

They're years behind the rest of the world before because of the tsetse fly.

And insects not only destroy crops, but they carry diseases, too.

Gee, Larry, this is really important work you're doing, isn't it?

Well, honey, the way we look at it...

if insects could be controlled effectively...

there could be an era of health and plenty such as the world has never known.

The possibilities are endless.

Gee! When you talk like that you give me goose bumps.

It's a beautiful world, Susan.

And someday there'll be no hunger and no struggle.

Men will have time to understand each other.

These things are gonna come, all right. The question is, how soon?

Twenty years, or must it be a thousand?

Never was danger in the world as great as it is today...

but never was paradise so near.

You know something, Larry?

You ought to be President of the United States.

Oh, this river is perfect. It's clean. It's got a nice hard bottom.

- The whole place is great. - It's just beautiful.

- Come on now. Let's unpack, eh? - Okay.

- You ready? - Yes, just a minute.

Okay, let me know.

- Okay. - Right. Here we go.

- What happened? - Just a minute.

Nothing. Everything's okay.

- Be sure it's good and strong there now. - Yeah.

- Hurry up. I'm holding this whole thing up. - Okay. Just a minute.

There!

- Got it? - Yeah, fine.

That's good.

That's good.

- Well, that's that. - Yup.

Now I gotta get my equipment down to the swamp.

What else can I do to help?

After I get that gear sorted out, we'll cook dinner.

Oh, good.

- Why don't you get some kindling for fire? - All right.

Why'd you take the tent down?

- That's pretty. Sing it in English. - All right.

Forever, darling

While other hearts go wondering

You'll find mine as faithful

as can be

I'll be your true love

Forever and forever

I'll care for you

eternally

I've known your kiss

And I've been close to heaven

The thrill of this will last me

Till my life is through

I make this promise

And willingly I'll keep it

Forever

Forever, darling

You will find me

true

Oh, boy, I'm tired. I'm sure gonna sleep tonight.

So am I. Hey, it's kind of crowded in here, isn't it?

Well, I'll get it all straightened out in the morning.

I'd better close this flap. Might get chilly tonight.

- What's that? - My nightgown.

Honey, you don't bother with nightgowns and things.

We sleep in our clothes.

Sleep in our clothes?

Sure, when you're out roughing it like this you always sleep in your clothes.

But we'll look like a mess in the morning.

If we sleep in our clothes, our clothes will look like we slept in them.

That's true, yeah.

Well, look, would you do me a favor tonight...

and just crawl into your sleeping bag like a nice, tired little girl?

Well, I guess...

You can change into fresh clothes in the morning.

- That's the way you do things here. - Come on. I'll help you.

Okay.

- Take your shoes. That's better. - I'm tired.

Now get in there. See? This feels nice.

It's sort of cocoonish, isn't it?

There we go. Oops!

- What's the matter? - It got caught on your blouse.

- Where? Okay. - There, I got it.

- How about it, huh? - Put my coat behind my head.

All right. See?

Thank you. Hey, this is real cozy.

- Good night, dear. - Good night, darling.

- Gee, it's awfully dark in here. - Yes, dear.

This is some of the darkest dark I've ever seen.

Larry, if you put the lantern on again, I think I'd sleep better.

Look, Susan, it's dark in our bedroom at home, and you sleep all right there.

Well, there's a streetlight outside our bedroom at home.

Boy, when it gets dark inside a tent, it doesn't mess around.

Yes, dear.

Larry.

I heard a sound. Something's in here with us.

Now, honey, there can't be.

Now, look, Susan, Finlay and Clint are coming at 10:00 in the morning.

We have a lot of work to do before they get here.

- Now go to sleep, honey, huh? - All right.

- Good night. - Good night.

Larry.

By any chance, are your eyes big and yellow and close together?

What are you talking about?

- It's a... It's a... - Yeah, it's an owl!

- Hey, I told you so! - Yeah.

- Get him out of here, Larry! Hurry up! - It's an owl.

Help! Help!

All right, Susan. He's gone.

Must have been here all the time.

Susan.

Honey, it's all right. He's gone now. Come on out.

I got so scared.

I told you there was something in here with us.

Well, I got rid of him.

- Leave the light on, please, honey. - All right.

And now let's see if we can get some sleep.

Okay.

- Good night, dear. - Good night.

- Larry. - Yes, dear.

The owl's making so much noise, I can't go to sleep.

- I said, the owl's making so much... - I heard you. I heard you, Susan, yeah.

Well, one of us ought to get up and chase him away.

You.

Oh, Larry, now that isn't very nice.

Why won't you go out and chase him away?

Maybe it's his mating call. I hate to disturb young love.

Larry, please. Larry.

All right. All right, Susan. I'll go chase him away. All right.

Shoo! Shoo!

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

- Good night, dear. - Good night.

Larry.

Larry, now I don't want you to do a thing...

but it's stuffy in here, and I'm awfully warm.

You just tell me how to let some air in without letting the bugs in.

Just tell me what to do, and I promise I won't say another word tonight.

I promise.

That window behind your back. Pull the rope, it opens the flap.

Yes, sir.

And you better not say another word tonight...

or the mosquitoes won't be the only thing I'll kill.

Yes, sir. Not a word, sir.

Hi.

Susan.

Susan, come on, get up.

Gotta get going.

Larry.

Larry!

Larry.

Larry!

Down here.

- Larry, look what happened. - What?

- My zipper got caught on my blouse. - Oh, great.

Now, how did you ever manage to do a dumb thing like this?

Well, it was pretty hard. I had to jerk the zipper up and down...

a couple of times before it snagged just right.

Well, you sure got it caught good.

Well, I believe if a thing is worth doing, it's worth doing well.

Here.

- There you are. - Thanks.

- Now come on, we haven't got all day. - Okay.

- What happened? What's the matter? - Oh, I cut my finger.

- Oh, dear. Here. - Oh, it's bleeding.

Now, come on, honey. Come on, I'll help you.

- Let me get some tape here. - Look, it's bleeding.

- It's just a scratch, honey. - Just a scratch? It's hanging by a thread.

That hurts.

- Here, now, there you are. - Nasty old jagged rock.

- That's gonna hurt. - Come on, let's go. They're gonna be here.

- I got a lot of work to do. - Well, I haven't had any breakfast.

Well, there's some coffee, and you can have some of that bread there.

Coffee and bread.

It's cold.

Well, it was hot when I first called you to get up.

- Pretend it's iced coffee. - Who has to pretend?

I can't eat this just plain.

Haven't you got some butter or something to spread on it?

No, but I can go and pick you some wild raspberries and make you some jam.

- Come on, will you? - All right.

I don't like to do things on an empty stomach.

The least we could do is have a good breakfast before we get out of here.

We're an hour late already. Come on.

- Where will I sit? - You sit there and row.

How come I get to row?

Because I can't row and spray at the same time.

And I'd much rather have you bungle the rowing than bungle the spraying.

Look, I don't have to bungle either one, you know.

I can stay right here and make myself some hot coffee.

- No. Unfortunately, I need you. - Thanks a lot.

Will you please sit down?

Well?

- Well what? - Start rowing.

What's that for?

Us galley slaves don't row very well unless we're whipped.

Very funny. Come on, start rowing over there.

Where are you going?

- I thought it was kind of pretty back there. - I told you I wanna go over there.

I thought you told me...

Look, will you do me a favor? Don't think. Just row.

- Let me do the thinking, huh? - Aye, aye, sir.

- What happened? - I'm afraid we've run aground, sir.

What do you mean?

The rope is caught on a root, sir.

What were you thinking, to row into a thing like that?

I was told just to row, sir, not to think, sir.

Well, get it loose, and stop calling me sir!

Yes, sir.

I can't get it loose.

Cut it with this knife.

- Hurry up. We haven't got all day. - Okay.

- Did you get it loose? - Yeah.

Well, come on, let's go.

- What's that hissing sound? - I think we ran over a snake.

That must be air escaping from the boat.

Why, so it is.

That thing must have ripped a hole in the boat.

Yeah, so don't blame it on that hole I made with the knife.

Susan!

I'm afraid we're sinking, sir. Abandon ship.

If you're gonna bawl me out, bawl me out in English.

Gladly! Of all the stupid, half-witted, imbecile, half-witted people that I've...

Never mind. Go back to Spanish.

Never mind. I'll talk to you later. We gotta salvage the equipment.

Don't just stand there! Find the scoops!

Find the scoops! Cut the rope! Row the boat!

Get out of bed! Go to sleep!

I'm sorry I ever came on this darned old trip!

That makes two of us!

Well, that's the thanks I get for coming along to help you!

Help me? I would have gotten more help from a drunken kangaroo!

Dive!

Here's your precious scoop!

I don't see why the world can't get along...

with a rolled-up newspaper and a can of Flit!

That's the kind of a remark I expect from a person...

who has the IQ of a moron!

- Moron? - Yeah!

Well, that did it! That's the last straw!

- I'm going home! - Good!

- You Latin Louis Pasteur, you! - I hope you like to walk!

Don't worry about me! I'm not gonna have to walk!

I'm going home with Finlay when he comes up here!

Fine!

So you can just go on your old field trip!

I'll do that!

- Without me! - Okay!

- Okay. - Okay.

Okay.

Okay!

Okay! Okay! Okay!

Women!

Glad to meet you, Mr. Clinton.

- Hi! - Well, here we are.

- Hello, Bill. Hello, Mr. Clinton. - Vega.

- When'd you get in from Washington? - I flew in this morning.

I'm really excited about seeing 383 in action.

Well, I'm all ready for you, so let's go down to the swamp area, huh?

- Aren't you coming, Susan? - No, thanks. I'm just waiting.

I wanna drive back to town with you.

Well, come along and watch this, meanwhile.

It's gonna be very interesting. Come along.

I've mixed 99% talc...

and 1% basic 383.

The average powder in pesticide used is...

75% talc and 25% of an active ingredient.

That's that stuff over there, labeled "X."

Well, that should do it.

Now for the results.

383 should kill them in approximately four seconds.

They were still as lively as crickets. I wonder what could have happened.

I don't know. I just can't understand.

- Larry. - Let's not talk about it, huh?

It can't be that bad.

No, I guess not. Now we don't have to go to Africa.

We can go home and play canasta with Millie and Henry.

So you're going to quit, huh? What about the crops and the people...

and all those things you said in the car about the beautiful world?

The world will get along fine with a rolled-up newspaper and a can of Flit.

Here I was thinking you were like the man with the face of a mountain goat...

and you give up like this.

Mountain goat? What are you talking about?

I know what I'm talking about.

The people in the boat don't notice a clock on the wall...

until a rock hits them.

People on the...

- What boat? What people? - You and me, that's what people.

We've been going along two different paths.

You've been going this way, and I've been going that way.

But now I'm going to go your way...

and we'll go to Africa or wherever...

and you're gonna keep on working, and I'm gonna be working right beside you.

- But I thought that... - Larry!

Larry! Larry!

- What? - I tried it again.

Just a pinch of 383, less than a teaspoonful. It worked!

It's even better than I expected.

I don't know what you had in that spray-gun, but it wasn't 383.

Oh, but that's impossible!

I mixed the compound myself, and I sprayed it myself.

It looks like you've been spraying with pure, unadulterated talc.

How could that happen? The talc was in the other vat.

Who could have monkeyed with it?

- Come on, I'll show you. - I'll be with you in a minute.

Well? When do we leave?

- You really want to go with me? - I sure do.

- If you still want me. - Of course I want you.

I'm just afraid that this sort of thing isn't for you.

It is, too, for me. I can do it. I'm not completely a dope, you know.

I'll practice getting up early in the morning.

I'll learn how to put up a tent. I'll oil my zipper.

And I don't care if we never see Millie and Henry again.

- You don't? - No, I don't.